Date: Sat, 3 Jun 2000 19:28:23 -0700 (PDT)
From: Chuck
Subject: Giving Up 2

Here's chapter two of the story Giving Up. I'd like to dedicate this story
to the people who e-mailed me with the first chapter and my net friends for
asking me to continue this story. Hope you like it!

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."

***
Two in a Million
***

God, I totally hate this thing! Where did my old me self again where I know
that I'm totally single and actually know someone doesn't like me or at
least won't do anything with me. Now it's like, totally weird! My best
friend who I was over with a long time ago since he never showed THE sign
that he was actually gay or whatever, somehow became interested on me. But
I stopped liking...actually loving him...in that way. Okay, here's the
quick recap, after getting sorta 'dumped' by that guy Patrick - since I
found out he's sooo straight, he brang his girlfriend in the 'date' we had!
- who I can't believe I liked the whole time when I went in this ski trip,
Dave, my best friend if you didn't know, kissed me when I came home!

Okay maybe I was the first one who made the move that night, but it doesn't
mean that he has to hug me and kiss me again and again! I mean my kiss was
only a peck and he literally hugged me and kissed me harder! Literally
people. Now, I totally feel so in love with him again. I want to run back
to him and kiss him and say to him that the three words I've been meaning
to tell. But now I know he's trying to avoid me 'cuz it's been three days
that he hasn't said one word to me. What did I do anyways? Oh yeah I kissed
him! So?! He kissed me back! Sigh...what can go weirder than this? Prince
William marrying Britney Spears like the tabloid says? As if!

The truth is, I'm sorta avoiding him too. I mean not fully avoiding him
like if I see him then I'd go the other way around just to avoid him. Avoid
like not calling him, not talking to him, you know stuff like that. I'm
just scared that's all. It felt good alright but still, maybe it was a
mistake. A misguided thing because I was so desperate that night or maybe
he felt sorry for me and maybe knew that I actually liked him. Maybe he's
not gay after all! Maybe he was drunk that time or something.

I kicked my locker door hard with my running shoes leaving an indent mark
that made my locker look awful. The girl who's locker was beside mine
looked at me like I was the total bitch of North America but I didn't
care. Like she knows what's going on with my life. Besides, I'm not a
bitch!

It was already after school and my head was already hurting from too much
stressful work in every classes I took and my stomach gurgled and my back
ached from the heavy back pack I carried. Damn, did I forget to say that
I'm avoiding Nancy and James too? I know it's bad but it's like, they're
gonna make me spill the beans then they'd scream that me and Dave actually
kissed. Hanging out with them, I think I know Nancy and James would be
really happy if they hear the news. They so think that me and Dave are the
most perfect couples if we were going out.

And today's a lucky day, I know both of them would be in the football field
cheering for Dave in his practice. They'd think that I'd go straight there
after school. No way today. It's bad enough between me and Dave, and now
see him running, sweating, panting,...in that tight white pants football
guys uses...oh god! My mouth's watering! No way! There's no way I'm gonna
go to that football practice just to watch him play! If I drool or scream
'Go Sweetheart' with that gay ol' tune, then busted!

I finally walked out of the school before, this is when like God punishes
me, someone grabbed me by my shoulder. I turned around very very slowly and
saw the most irritated face in the world.

"Don't you say anything Blue! Omigod! We've been worried sick I mean like
Dave didn't want to say what happened that day and like we tried to call
you and like the answering machine kept on going and like you've been
snubbing the three of us and Dave's been snubbing you! What the hell is
going on?! Where's the insights?! I am the girl here dammit! I'm suppose to
know everything!" Nancy said aloud with this varsity girl sound. I managed
to back away a little and giggle nervously and croaked, "Uhh...hey Nancy!"

Her face turned from a furious major outraged look to a sweet smile then
suddenly giggled. Totally weird. She said hey back and grabbed my wrist so
I wouldn't walk away from her again. "Didn't you forget?! Your best friend
is like, has his practise today. The least you could do to make it all up
is to go to the practice and wait for him now let's go!"

Damn. Thought I got away with it. It's way better if she just kept on
yacking on why I avoided them than go to Dave's practise. I smiled
foolishly thinking of some way to get away out of this situation but could
think of none. I whispered like I totally lost, "Sigh...okay."  "You are
soo gonna tell me what happened that night. I mean you guys went weird
after! He was like quiet lately and he was like kinda like trying to avoid
us too. I mean did me and James do anything wrong?"

We walked; rather she dragged me all the way to the back of the school
where the practise was. James and sigh...Dave were in the field and there
was some other girls and guys sat on the edge of the football
field. Probably girlfriends and friends of the other players. James was
sitting like a lazy bum on one of the high benches and screamed to Dave who
held the football to himself tossing it up in the air back and forth from
one hand to his another, "C'mon Man! Need some blood here! Beat one of the
guys later!"

"You'll see the stars soon if you don't shut up!" he shouted back. Faintly
from far away, I could see James's eyes rolling, zipping his mouth before
grabbing a hand full of chips which he shoved in his mouth quickly. Neither
James or Dave noticed me or Nancy coming closer to them. fuck, I can't take
this. Dave was there standing perfectly with his football gears on. He
looked at the ball as it went up the air then down then up then down. I
didn't want to face him. I'm so scared! I mean how would he react now or
say to me! God, I just wish I could just go there like the old times, which
was 5 days ago, and just give a wink like we were old best friends again -
him not knowing that I like him.

Nancy dragged me harder since I begged and quietly whined gripping the soft
soil with the heels of my untied running shoes. I finally got close but as
soon as we reached the field, Dave ran back to where the boys' change room
was. I sighed and walked freely and sat closely beside James grabbing a
handful of chips. James looked at me surprised, "Heya stranger!"

I smiled and looked up in the clear sky. At least everything's going
well. Nancy sat beside me talking about the usual stuff forgetting that I
avoided them for three whole days. Or James. They were sitting there
talking to chit chatting away while I sat down there hoping there'd be a
rainstorm and the football would be cancel. Sigh...but it didn't. It was
still a perfect day with the sun showering the whole world with that
freaking sunlight.

The football players came out with two coaches training them. We sat there
for endless hours of boredom except for Nancy since she's so into the guys
in the football league. I don't even understand why we even bother sitting
down here just to wait for someone. To tell you the truth, I really wanted
to get out of that place. I couldn't stop looking at Dave and wonder why he
would do such a thing. I mean, why would he let me kiss him and kiss me
back and starts avoiding me the days after. He's giving me mix signals here
and I'm really confused on which one to believe on.

Luckily, the practice finished earlier than we had expected and soon no
more than thirty minutes after, since sigh....Dave had to take a quick
shower, we were all walking down to the bus stop. I stood there with James
and Nancy beside me while Dave sat there on the bench by himself with his
sports bag on his lap. His new haircut really made him
look...really...sexy. It was shaved in the sides and in the back but not
left the top short and left a little 'tail' which was kept together by a
blue rubber band at the back of his head. I wanted to comment on his new
haircut but I felt like he would just ignore the stuff that I'd say.  We
were in our neighbourhood less than an hour and I could feel Nancy sorta
feeling that weird awkwardness between me and Dave since she KNOWS that
Dave always walks close beside me when we all walk together and now, he was
walking far away from me.

Really, if I could do anything to make Dave be the Dave that I used to know
again, I would do anything. He's like one of the things that makes me feel
that I'm part of this world. I don't want to sound to mushy but it is. It's
like, he's the only one that actually makes me happy and accepts me for
what I am. Even when I told him I was gay, he was sorta weird about it at
first but he did accept it. He was always there when I felt unsecured,
alone or afraid. He was there trying to comfort me before meeting with that
dum fuck Patrick. I swear if I ever see Patrick again, I'd gladly beat him
up for no any reasons!!! Dave was there...whenever I needed him the most.

Now, it's like I'm losing him. It's like I feel like he's moving far away
from me forever just because of one stupid kiss. Really, if I had a chance
on stopping that kiss I would've done it by now. I'd rather keep what I
feel towards him and have Dave as best friend rather than expressing my
feelings and losing him completely. I know I wouldn't go on if I didn't
have anyone exactly like Dave. I mean three days of Dave really made me
really depressed. Imagine not having for two weeks. I don't think I
would've survived.

Nancy and James stopped talking already five minutes ago and we were all
walking like bunch of quiet strangers. For I can remember, this had never
happen before. Whenever the four of us are together the only time that
there would be silence is if someone put duck tapes in all four our
mouths. But as always Nancy, who doesn't like us not talking, blurted out,
"Hey you guys! My feet are tingling so let's go to the mall or something!
My dad just gave me a really big allowance and..."

"Count me out..." Dave blurted out gloomy which cut Nancy off. I guess he
really wanted to say that 'cuz I know he knows that Nancy didn't like being
cut off when she's speaking. But today, Nancy didn't feel bad about
it. "Alright. I mean you were in the practise n' stuff so me, James and
Blue are gonna holler in Scarb so if you wanna go with us, just find us
there okay?"

"...Yeah sure..." Dave said. "Look I'll see you guys okay?"

"See you later Nancy, James...Bl...see you guys," he said not looking at
me. He waited for Nancy and James to say goodbye but when I opened my mouth
to say something, he quickly darted out to the other side of the street and
went to a shortcut in this little alleyway. "See....ya...Dave."

We went back to the bus stop. My heart pounded and I fought really hard
trying not to shed tears. I breathed hard and my hands tingled and my
stomach felt like someone boxed me for two straight hours. But I couldn't
take it. Two beads of tears strolled down my cheeks down to my lips. I
wiped it with my hand pretending that I was scratching my face. I really
can't take it anymore. I lost him. He completely ignored me. He doesn't
like me anymore or want to be friends with me anymore. I can't take it. It
hurts too much to handle this. Why can't he just at least say bye! I said
bye! Why can't he? I hid my face by looking away from them sniffing ever so
slightly that they wouldn't here. "We should check that new store that's
open in Scarborough Centre, heard it's gonna be a cool outfit store."

"Yeah I know! I went there yesterday and it was sooo cool! They had this
HYPE pants like it's....like...I don't indescribable! It was like dark
orange with bunch of watchamcall it...these weird Chinese symbols patches
on the sides of the pants and like I heard that it glows in the dark! It'd
be good if we get to be a part of that dancing people in Electric Circus!"
James blurted out so excitedly. Naturally I would comment on that but I was
too darn down just to say anything. I couldn't take it anymore. I was
literally covering my face to hide my tears away from them. Nancy finally
noticed me and she asked, "Hey why you got a headache."

Still covering my face, I whispered trying not to sound like I was crying,
"Yeah...yeah I have...look you guys I'm not going alright? I...I have a
major headache..." I whispered then I darted off without waiting to say
goodbyes. I heard them cry out 'later' to me. As soon as I got home, I
locked the door crying my guts out until I could totally feel my lungs
burning, my stomach twitching, my heart pounding, ugh...until everything in
me just wanted to get out. By then, my stomach just twitched hard and my
head hurled. I ran straight to the toilet regurgitating everything that I
ate today. It might sound sick but it actually felt good. The pain that I
felt from my stomach pushing everything back up took away the other pain in
my chest. I sat flushing the toilet, closing the lid and sitting resting my
head on the lid then grabbed a tonful of tissues to wipe my face.

It went back again. That sad feeling again. I couldn't take it anymore. I
gargled my mouth with water and went back to my bedroom thinking how much
he's really hurting me, how I can't do anything about it, how he doesn't
want to be friends anymore...god I was thinking about EVERYTHING that
happened between him and me. How those years and months of being best
friends are totally getting wasted, those fun memories, tragic moments,
boring moments, embarrassing ones, everything. I kept on crying again
wondering if my tears will ever run out.  I don't know how many hours it
has been but I knew that it was totally dark when my heart suddenly raced
when my mom called me from downstairs that one of my friends is at the
door. I ran down hoping that Dave was there ready for both of us to
apologise hoping that we would pick up where we had left of or maybe even
go further down the road. But as soon as I reached the stairs...I stared at
disbelief. It was Nancy.

"We gotta talk Blue...about you and Dave," she whispered. James wasn't
anywhere in sight and I knew she was alone in purpose. I almost melted in
the spot from fear since I didn't want her to know. Eventually I let her in
my house and we both walked up to my bedroom quietly. She sat on the stool
like she always do while I sat Indian style on my bed. "Nancy...alright
I'll tell you...please don't tell James...or anyone...about Saturday
night..."

I told her everything. And I mean everything what happened that day with
Patrick and getting shock that he brought his girlfriend which totally
broke my heart but got over it quickly and thought of him as a friend now
and how sigh...I hugged Dave and how I kissed him and how he kissed him
back. But then I told her about that he's been avoiding me and explained to
her that the reason I tried to avoid them all is that Dave didn't want me
to be around them and how I was too scared if they freaked if I tell both
of them about it. "Nancy...fuck...I'm scared man! If I could turn back time
and not kiss him...I would've went by now! God you don't know how much I
need him now. I love him Nancy...I do...I love him..."

I cried but this time, I was really crying. I was whimpering I was
shuddering. I was like a little baby when Nancy came over quickly hugging
me rocking me. She whispered trying to quiet me down. "Shhh...shhh...it's
okay it's okay! Blue it's okay! It's okay to love someone like him. Come
now...be quiet..."

I quieted down but I was crying like hell. fuck...I can't believe I told
her and I can't believe I totally LOVE him that much again like I used
to. Maybe this is why I'd rather not kiss him because I wanted to be close
to him and pretend that he loves me too in that way than telling it . I
whispered curiously, "Nancy?"

"Yeah what is it?"

"How'd you know?" I asked.

"Dave...he came to the mall...looking for you..." she said quietly holding
me tight. I gasped, "WHAT?!!"

She nodded calmly then said, "He said he needed to talk to you and...when
James was shopping and trying to buy that pants he talked about...he
spilled everything...about you.."  "He did?! Oh man oh man!!" I said
pulling away from her hold gasping for breath. She held my shoulders again
telling me while looking straight into my eyes, "Calm down Blue...the good
news is that he's not mad at you or anything...the bad news is that..."

"He doesn't like me! He doesn't like me doesn't he?!" I said almost
gasping. I could feel my heartbeat quickening up and I felt like I wanted
to grab a knife and stab myself if she says yes. She shook her head lifting
her shoulder and hands, "Blue I don't know! He's confuse! He doesn't know
what to say to me. What I mean is like...he doesn't know what he feels
towards you anymore."

"What do you mean?! He doesn't like me? That's what you're telling me isn't
it?!" I said almost screaming. She shook her head really vigorously, "No! I
didn't say that! Blue stop thinking that way! I told you I don't know and
he doesn't know how he feels about you."

"Fuck he doesn't like me man, he doesn't love me. Nancy...what am I gonna
do?! He doesn't like me!" I screamed bursting out crying again unable to
think except for the thought that he actually doesn't like me bugs
me. Nancy hugged me again. "Don't fucking say that you here?! You shouldn't
give up Blue! Not by any chances now 'cuz I know, and trust me in this one,
that you have a good chance with this guy!"

"...Really...?" I asked halting another tear from coming down to her
shirt. For the first time in this major problem, I actually felt like there
was hope. I couldn't believe that somebody ACTUALLY supported me on going
after this before it's too late! Nancy nodded, "Blue, I'm not kidding...I'm
the girl in this group and I know EVERYTHING! You hear?! EVERYTHING! And I
want you to go out there sometime and talk to him alright?"

She said this in a rather happy dominant voice and she was smiling trying
to cheer me up and to stop me from burst from crying again. I smiled then
giggled making me look kinda weird since I was crying too. Then I stopped
and smiled again. I hugged her again and whispered, "Nancy...thank
you...how can I ever repay you back?"

"Blue, we're close friends and I care about you...besides...I was really
wanting you two to be together! Like I said before, you two look like a
perfect couple even though you both aren't going out...YET!" she said
hugging me back. She finally left giving an excuse that she had to go home
since it was almost ten and her parents goes into tantrum when she goes
home late at school night.

All night, and the morning after that, I couldn't stop about what Nancy
told me. 'You shouldn't give up Blue!' was stuck in my head. It kept me
kinda confident about myself that morning giving me thoughts that I would
live up and not shudder to myself. I would live up to my expectations and
what I want...I GET! If Dave doesn't like me...who cares! I mean there's
many bended fishes out there waiting for me! I'm strong enough now if Dave
can't accept that I love him. I would show to him if that happens how much
he missed a chance of perfect happiness by going out with the most gorgeous
guy in the world who's better, and much MUCH sweeter than him!  I walked to
school that day with all my fears behind me and like I was holding two
leashes restraining two beautiful naked guys under my feet like dogs. When
I looked at one of the mirrors in the washroom as I passed by them after I
took a piss, I kinda looked like I had control over myself and I looked
tougher and stronger. I smiled devilishly making me look even scarier. I
walked out of the washroom feeling strong, confident, with high self
esteem.  But as soon Dave passed by me at lunch, looked at me straight in
the eyes but didn't say a word to me, it was like he totally ripped this
strong defence barrier I built from last night like it was only a plastic
cover. All that confident, that self esteem, that strength I had suddenly
just disappeared and left me totally down. I suddenly had the knowledge
that Dave didn't want to talk or do anything with me anymore. Just because
I LOVE HIM! fuck Love! I felt like I was now the one who's tied up on a
leash. I just wanted someone, maybe Death, do something to me like they did
in Final Destination where the characters died from tragic weird natural
causes just because they cheated death.

I avoided Nancy and James again for lunch. Not in purpose really. Actually
I guess it is but once they bring up Dave for a conversation, I was afraid
I'd burst crying in the cafeteria. I already felt like bursting out crying
after last period from holding it in too long. But I managed to hold it in
and that's what counts...I guess. I mean at least I don't have to suffer
humiliation and a long year end jokes if I do.

I waited for Nancy in her locker and when she came, James was walking right
beside her chit chatting like they usually do. James waved gayly at me but
I didn't wave back so he looked at me weird and walked to the other side of
the hallway to go to his locker. She saw me and smiled walking speedily to
get close to me. Once she did she said, "How'd it go?"

"We...didn't...talk," I whispered closing my eyes when I felt tears
suddenly forming. I turned around to face the locker and covered my face to
hide it from others. I was crying like mad. It was like, I totally lost
every hope I had. I hid my face as best as I can as the hallways became
crowded that I was totally to her locker. Nancy ran her hand on my back to
comfort me but even that didn't stop me from crying.

I gasped finally trying to sound like I never even cried at all, "Nancy
really....he totally snubbed me man! I give up, I mean what's the point?!
He doesn't want to talk to me anymore!"

"That's just your stupid imaginations thinking! Now STOP IT! I'm serious
this time alright?!" she said almost in a verge of screaming. I knew she
was pissed 'cuz my nagging really irritated her but that's what I truly
believed. He never liked me. "Is it?! Then...explain why he doesn't want to
talk to me?! why...he just looks at me like I was nothing at all...like I
was a fucking fag waiting to be slaughtered to a gay-basher butcher?!
You're Ms. Know-It-All! C'mon tell me?!"

I waited for an answer but she didn't say anything. "See you don't know
either! So don't bother helpin' me out 'cuz you're not helping."

She just suddenly grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me to the nearest
washroom, I think it was the guys and she screamed the two little niner
kids peeing in those toilets on the wall. They quickly zipped up and never
bothered to clean their hands and left. I completely turned away hiding my
face away while Nancy held my wrist so hard that it felt like it was about
to crack and brake. As soon as they left, she locked the main door, walked
close to me and smacked me right in my right cheek bone. Even though I knew
she smacked me really hard, since I could feel my cheek bone tingling...it
was like I was numb to the bone from depression.

"C'mon hit me again! I'm waiting 'cuz you see I really don't care anymore!
I don't fucking care!" I shouted at her face waiting to get hit. She
punched me again and the sharp end of one of her ring sliced a bit of my
lip and blood gushed. This time it hurt. I held my lip with one hand. I
gasped, "Seems like you like hitting me...hit me again. I don't care."

She slapped me so hard that I was shoved at the side of one of the cubicle
wall. My butt slammed down the bathroom floor. I looked at her and now she
was crying kneeling down towards me helping me to get up but I shrugged her
off. She wiped her tears with her index finger. Then she stood up then
backed away holding her hair back. She whispered, "I give up. You know I
really tried. I did really. I wanted you both to be together 'cuz I know
you both are meant to be together. But guess what?! It's you that's keeping
him apart from you. You know why? I just realized now how you can be a
chicken shit about talking about this stuff to him. You're too damn quick
to think of negative thoughts than the positive ones. If you love
him...like you told me that you do, why don't you talk to him?"

She left and unlocked the door. Before she opened it to leave she said,
"I'm sorry...for hitting you. I thought that'd knock some senses out of you
but you're too thick-headed. I'm sorry...but if somehow I got in your
head...then go to talk to Dave...he's at the weightlifting room...but like
the person you are, you don't have the guts to talk to him."

She left leaving me stranded trying to get up from the corner of the
wall. I brushed my tears away and flushed the blood away from my lip until
there was no more blood coming out. She's wrong. A bit wrong. She did get
into me. She finally made me realize how I'm too chicken to talk to him
about this situation. I'm too scared to go too 'cuz I was too scared of
what he would say back to me. But, now I realized something. There wasn't
much of a big risk here. The only thing that might be ruined is our
friendship and right now, our friendship is already messed up. So I really
wouldn't lose anything.

I dried myself off and slowly crept out of the washroom and was met with a
small crowd looking at me babbling what happened to me and 'her' since they
heard loud shouts and banging inside. I pushed them off and headed to the
place where this would finally end. You know where...the weightlifting
room. He would always go there after school whenever he won't have any
practise. He had explained to me once that he goes there just to keep his
muscles in shape but he didn't want big muscles like those fat, stocky guys
who could lift cars like it was only a tiny baby.  My head jumbled up with
thoughts that he wouldn't be in the weightlifting room and to just give up
and walk home. But I placed those in the back of my head to ignore them as
I headed on through the hallway lacking of any students now to the
weightlifting room. My heart beated like crazy and once, I decided to walk
back and just run away from him. But still I headed on. I was so nervous
that there was goose bumps on my legs and my arms. As soon as I reached the
weightlifting room and I peeked in a little bit...but no one was there. I,
again, almost decided to leave but then I heard a quiet groan,
"Guh...one....t-two...puff, puff...t'three..."  Shit! I quickly pulled off
my head and clinging on the wall. It was Dave. It's him. I know it's him!
It's his voice. I wanted to run to the other side of the hallway but I said
myself to get a total grip. Slowly, I swooned inside the room very quietly
and closed the door and locking it. He didn't see me since he was sitting
facing his back at me as he sat one on of the bench press lifting a
dumbbell with his right hand.

I slowly walked closer and closer and I called out his name quietly like I
was almost whispering. "D-David?"

Shit...I called him by his first name! He didn't turn around but he sped up
and said loudly, "James, tell Nancy I'm not coming. I need to keep in shape
that's why."

Surprised, I smiled for a bit when he thought that I was actually that dumb
ass Goth James. I whispered finally with his 'name', "Dave...it's
me...Blue."

He turned around to look at me but then he turned back around and went back
getting 'pumped' up. He whispered, "...hey..."

That seemed like a great start. At least he said hi to me. I walked closer
to him while he pumped harder and harder. I sat on the bench beside him and
gazed at the guy in front of me who's face glittered from sweat and arm
muscles thickening as it contracted. He stopped and whisked his sweat away
with the back of his hands. Resting his back on the wall and panting a bit
hard, he whispered. "...So...what's up?"

"...Uh...Great! I mean okay I guess..." I whispered tucking the hair on my
ear when I stared down the floor. I continued, "...you?"

He nodded, "Good...I guess."

We sat there trying not to look at each other but just couln't. After a few
seconds, I was staring at his cute blue eyes and his looking back at
mine. Suddenly, he stood up and walked around with his hands on his waist
line. He burst out from a completely different tone, "I can't take it
anymore! WE...need to talk!"

He closed his eyes and walked around faster as I nodded slowly. "Then he
stopped in front of me and sat back down the bench press. "Blue did...do
you love me?"

I immediately said yes by nodding. He didn't do anything that'd show me
that he was scared hell from hearing that. He must've rehearsed this or
something. He continued, "When?"

"Ever since...we've known each other," I said like he was about to hit
me. That, he really became shocked. His eyes widened and his fingers
fidgeted, "How?! Why?!"

"How....when...why...next your going to ask where and who I fell in love
with!! Dave...I love you alright...fuck! I don't know why and how. I just
DO okay?!....I can't believe I'm actually saying this," I burst out. I
started crying. I stood up and I was about to run off but he stood up and
blocked me off. I tried to shake him off, punching him, kicking him trying
to push him off, but he was too strong. But instead, he held me closer
putting his arms around me to calm me down. I could feel the dampy skin
touching me and I could feel his humid breath running down my exposed my
neck as I slowly felt weak and dropped to my knees. We both kneeled down
the floor hugging each other. I slowly wrapped my arms around him then
hugged him tight. He whispered, "Blue...please don't cry..."

"Dave, why can't you like me? God, I gave up on you a long time ago but I
just can't stop loving you. God, I'm soo in love with you. I'm sorry!" I
said while my tears soaked his tank top. He hugged me tighter and I could
feel him crying also. "Who the fuck told you that I wasn't attracted to
you?! Nancy?! James?! Your other friends?!"

"Myself.." I whispered. He whispered back, "Why did you think of that?"

"'Cuz! After I kissed you...you started avoiding me, you didn't want to
talk to me, you snubbed me, you didn't call me..." He let go for a minute
at me and looked at me and he smiled his white teeth showing, "Blue, the
truth is...I...like you. Why did you think I kissed you back? Didn't you
even figure it out when I left when Patrick came how I became so jealous if
he WAS gay? God...I was just too god damn scared too you know! You didn't
even think of what I'm feeling right now! You know why I'm god damn smiling
like a fairy here? 'Cuz I know now that you...like...love me. It was really
a torture knowing that you're gay and not being able to express how much I
feel about you. God...I love you too man..."

He cried and hugged me so tight that I actually lost feeling of my
fingers. But hell WHO CARES?!!!!! HE LOVES ME!!!! OH YEAH!!!! WHO DA MAN!!!
I hugged him back and I almost screamed from happiness! I quickly got up
with him around me almost screaming. "Oh my god! WOW! REALLY?! You love
me?! No way! Are you just saying this 'cuz you feel sorry for me or
something! Or you just want to try out a gay relationship?! You actually
love me?"

He started giggling on my neck as he started kissing my neck. I almost lost
balance again since my legs started to turn jello but he held me up. "I
do...love you I mean! Hehehe! Will you stop it with that question!"

"Sigh...I'm so glad that we could be more than best friends...you don't
know how much happy I am."

"No...you don't know how HAPPY I am," he said as he held my face with both
of his hands. Then...like three nights before...he drew his lips closer to
me. I closed my eyes as I felt my lips touching his hot pinkish lips. Our
tongue met midway tasting each other's liquid. I wanted to stop to take a
quick breath but he pulled my head closer to me to explore his tongue in me
deeper. I gasped and almost collapsed when he groaned erotically.

He stopped, removing his tongue off inside of me and he smiled whispering
to me, "God...you don't know how much I wanted to do that again...I'm soo
glad!"

He smiled and I smiled and eventually. We kissed again then did a few 'work
outs' with our muscles. Doing push ups and other stuff like that silly!
What do you think I am?! A whore?! I'd never do him before the first date!
Maybe after the first date...


We stood together, our hears completely pumping as I slowly knocked on the
main door. We waited and took a big breath before someone opened the
door. We smiled when a girl stood in front of us waiting for us to say
something. Without saying anything, I moved closer to Dave taking his hand
to hold them with my right showing it to her. Dave and I blushed as Nancy
smiled while her eyes glittered from excitement. She screamed
sarcastically, "SEE! I AM Ms. Know-It-All!"