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You like me...you REALLY like me!
I was dancing in circles in the club. All eyes were on me. Oh yeah. I was doing this Usher song justice. He'd come out with a new video and my ass had skipped out on work and spent 8 hours learning this dance.
I had it down perfect.
I had to get it for the club that night. I had to be the first one to learn it. And they played it. They played Usher.
I had been on the sidelines watching Breezy and making sure he didn't do one of his crazy drunk antics like putting his dick into hand dryer again.
But my song had come on and I had told Mickey to watch Breezy.
Now it was my turn.
I had on my Usher outfit and everything. Spent my whole check on ebay trying to find exactly the outfit he wore. My button up leather jacket was open to show my abs just like Usher, my fitted cap tilted to the side. Low cut, ripped jeans with no underwear just like the video.
Oh I was going to make this hot.
"EVERYONE CLAP FOR ME!" I stated walking out onto the dance floor.
I started to do the break dance.
Two step, two step...pop my ass.
Break dance on the floor.
Pop and lock my way up.
Throw my coat to some faggot on the sideline drooling over me.
Slide on the ground.
Hump the floor.
"Oh shit boy...do your thing!" I heard Mickey scream from the sideline.
Yes. I earned this. Everyone was forming a circle around me. Damn right. Just how I liked it. 2 minutes and 45 seconds left in the song. I knew this song better then I knew my own mother.
I had rehearsed this everywhere all week. Rehearsed at the bus stop, doing laundry, in the library, at work, in the shower, right before I went to sleep, during sleep and even when I woke up,.
"Look at my abs, look at my abs," I said standing up and doing a belly roll, like Usher did in the video.
My chest was slicked up with oil. Yup just how I like it.
That was when I saw him...it was motherfucking Boogie. Boogie was the lame crackhead leader of the Boogie-Down Boys. They were the pack of hooligans that felt like they were competing with us. He looked a fucking mess as he stumbled onto the floor. He was drunker then Breezy!
He stumbled out onto the floor and started to dance, doing some weird stupid shit.
All of a sudden people started laughing...at him.
People started pointing at him.
What the fuck?
"Look at me!" I shouted to the crowd, "Look at me bitch! You can't help but look at me!"
I put my hands in my pants. I had to overdo the sexy. Fuck the Usher video. I had worked hard for this moment. It was time to improvise. My spotlight couldn't be taken by some drunk ass piece of shit making a fool out of himself.
Eyes turned back on me.
The boys started making their comments about how sexy I was. Good. Let's get back to that. I started to slow wind to the song, pushing my butt out as best as I could. My ass and my abs. The two things I had to work with.
That was when this stupid ass Boogie-Down Boy walked up behind me grabbing me by my waist trying to dance with me.
I wasn't going to share no spotlight.
I elbows how to get off of me, "STOP IT damn it."
I rolled my eyes and turned around. Ugh...he was so annoying.
Just as I turned around and started to do some of the dances that I learned from Pretty Ricky back in the day, he came up behind me again.
Couldn't I hump the air in piece?
I was about to whine to him again when all of a sudden.
"MICKEY!" I screamed.
Mickey had come up behind the guy and hit him with a metal chair. I couldn't believe it. I mean of course I believed it, but I couldn't believe it.
The Boogie-Down boy went down like Goliath.
He hit the floor hard...and he wasn't moving.
Suddenly the music stopped. It wasn't the DJ that had stopped the music...I looked and saw Breezy. Breezy was had unplugged the music again. He had his ears to his head. It was obvious he had a headache from his drunkenness and didn't want to hear any music.
"No! No, no, no, no!" I started crying, "No! Mickey did you kill him! Breezy why'd you shut off the music! I had a whole minute left! I had a whole minute left!"
I didn't even do my finale.
I was going do a headstand. Everyone was going to like my headstand.
"He was fucking with you," Mickey argued.
"You didn't have to hit him with a chair though, Mickey!"
Mickey really didn't get it. You don't go around HITTING PEOPLE with chairs. I looked on the ground. God, the boy was finally moving just a little bit.
"NO! This is MY LIFE! I waited all my life for this moment!" I stated.
"Oh fuck, baby, let's go! Security!"
Fuck, we'd been in the club only a half an hour and we were already getting kicked out of it.
Wait...did Mickey just call me baby?
"Come on," he said grabbing my hand.
"NO!" I started to say, running back onto the dancefloor, "Everyone imagine music! Imagine it ok! Everyone look at me! It's my headstand!"
I started to do it, flipping into a headstand.
I could barely hold it when the security guard grabbed me. It was Ice. For some reason, I always got Ice. Ice was the biggest security guard at Pegasus. He picked me up like a damn toothpick, while I was upside down.
We ended out thrown...literally onto the street. Breezy didn't even seem to realize that we weren't in the club anymore by how he just got up and started to do his drunk dance again.
Mickey of course was fighting off three or four security guards at once before he finally was outpowered when Ice tossed me into the street and socked him hard in his face.
One punch from Ice and Mickey was definitely at ease.
"You assholes always come to my club starting shit," Ice stated, "Where's the other one! Where's your other friend? He has to get out too."
"Lacey didn't even come," Mickey retorted.
Where was Lacey?
That was the question of the afternoon. He had been missing. Lacey never missed the club...unless he had...unless he had a date!
Ice shouted at the top of his lungs, "You guys are banned from this damn club! Tell your friend that. ALL FOUR OF YOU!"
They went back into the club, leaving us out.
It was cold late February. I sat on the damn corner and pouted. Breezy was still dancing to music on the corner with this huge smile on his face.
Mickey walked over to me and took a seat.
"That was fun," he stated and laughed, "Great time."
"WHAT! No it wasn't!"
I started to cry all of a sudden. I couldn't hold it back. I was hysterical. I couldn't take it. All that damn work. All that work wasted!
"Is it about us being banned? Ice says that every week. You know he don't mean that. Ain't no party if the Good-Time Girls not there."
"No...I worked so
hard on that dance Mickey!"
"Well, I mean, everyone knows you are the best dancer out here," Mickey replied
and smiled, "You learn every dance as soon as it comes out and you always get the most attention doing it."
"That one was special."
I didn't know how to explain it. I lowered my head and started crying again. I hadn't felt this bad in my life. I felt like such a waste. I had done the dance to Mrs. Wong from across the hall. She thought I was crazy and told her kids not to talk to me! All that and I didn't even get my life at the club.
"Aw, come here," Mickey stated, grabbing me and holding me close, "I'm sorry, I hit him with the chair. You know how I get. I didn't want him taking your shine."
Mickey raised my head with one finger looking at me, "Maybe I can make it up to you."
My tears stopped immediately. Mickey was so cute. I loved how he babied me. He had always spoiled me and protected me, but he was usually tough on me as well. Lately he hadn't hit me or anything. He was so...gentle.
We hadn't kissed since the day in the rain.
We had agreed it was best to act like it had never happened so things didn't get awkward.
It was just a thing...you know?
So why the fuck did I feel like it was about to happen again.
"I can think of a few ways you can make it up," I whispered back to him.
He leaned closer, staring down at my lips. His eyes were focused on them.
We turned around to see Breezy staring at us. He had this weird look. It was almost this disgusted look.
"What's up Breezy?" Mickey stated.
I studied Breezy closely, "You ok...I'm worried."
I was worried because he didn't seem that drunk anymore. It was almost like he had sobered up. He wasn't dancing to music in his head anymore. He just...stared.
"We should leave before the Boogie-Down boys find out what happened and come down here wanting to fight," Breezy stated.
Breezy grabbed me up off the floor, all of a sudden real sober and actually saying something...well...responsible. How weird was that!
"Wait," Mickey called out behind us.
Breezy didn't wait though. He hailed a cab and threw me inside of it almost like I usually did him and we were off leaving Mickey outside of the club.
It was the day after we had gone from the club. I had slept alone in my bed wishing that I was sleeping with Go-Go. I could smell Usher, the cologne by Usher still on my clothes from when we were cuddled up in the back of the taxi last night.
Him and Mickey though...they had been...
They seemed to have been having an intimate moment. But I couldn't have that. I had to stop that from happening. I had to stop my heart from being broken.
I looked in the mirror. I had to admit it to myself before I could admit it to myself before I admitted it to him.
"I love Go-Go," I told myself in the mirror.
I looked at my reflection. I was sexy. I had to admit. In high school I used to pull girls left and right. I looked better then fucking MICKEY! So why the fuck was Go-Go flirting with him and not me?
Why the fuck were they about to kiss outside of the club?
I looked at the time.
Fuck I was late...
One hour later I found myself sitting on some grass. We were at the local football field. It was Lacey and I. Every Saturday afternoon since I'd been fired, I'd gone to the field with Lacey.
The trade in the neighborhood gathered together to play football and Lacey was always the sideline watcher.
Trade: gay slang thug acting guys, more likely for straight ones or for ones that appear straight to the eye.
I watched Lacey on the sidelines sucking a lollipop watching the guys with a thirsty look on his face. He was funny as hell. He has on some motherfucking other shit. He had on these pussy-cutter shorts that showed his buttcheeks.
Every Saturday he came out here and the trade tried not to notice him even though he would start J-setting to Missy Elliot's Bad-Man every time one of the boys scored a touchdown.
"You are so gay," I stated looking around, "Where's Go-Go and Mickey? Shouldn't they be here?"
"They probably out fucking somewhere."
I jumped out of my seat.
"I mean...uh...I don't know," he stated turning back around.
I went up to him grabbing him, "What the hell do you know...I know you Lacey. You have something to tell me. What is it?"
Lacey looked at me...obviously trying to think of something to cover up what he had just let slip.
He shook his head.
I grabbed him by his collar. I was way bigger then Lacey. I wasn't like Mickey but I would beat him the hell up in a second.
All of a sudden I felt someone tap me on my shoulder.
I turned around to see a guy with a football in his hand. He was the trade. He was sexy as hell with his shirt off. I could see Lacey struggling not to immediately fall to his knees and give this guy a blow job.
"Hey, I met you when I was drunk," the guy said, "My name's Ken."
Oh yeah...that is who this guy was. Mickey's brother...
"Was wondering if you two wanted to play. We are short two guys."
"You want Lacey to play?" I said frowning my face, "What the hell? I understand me...but him!"
Lacey rolled his eyes, "Sure we'll play!"
playing a sport...since when did he play sports?
I rolled my eyes and shrugged. Back to playing football I guess. I grabbed my flash of liquor next to me.
There was no way I was going on that field without my flask in my hand. It was already the afternoon and I hadn't drank anything yet.
The football field was hot. Lacey and I were both placed on Ken's team. Everytime he called a play we ended up way in the endzone, knowing that he wouldn't throw that far and so we didn't really have to play much.
"What were you saying?" I stated to Lacey as we waited in the endzone for something to happen.
"Listen I don't know what the hell you three are up to, but you need to stop," Lacey replied, "Don't get me involved. I have nothing to do with what the hell is going on."
"What exactly do you think is going on?"
"You tell me."
I shook my head. I couldn't...I didn't...well...
"Lacey I'm serious when I'm telling you this. Ok...I'm not drunk. Ok?"
"Well I love---"
"Ken is throwing the ball at us!"
I couldn't believe that Ken had managed to throw the ball all the from the other side of the field. The ball was soaring slowly towards us. I felt like I was in damn slow motion.
"Girl, please, I'm a faggot. The only balls I catch are attached to dicks."
"Well I'm not catching it either. I didn't want to play."
played football. Look...who just showed
I looked to the side. Go-Go had just showed up. He was looking at me. It was almost like he wanted me to catch it.
All of a sudden I did.
I caught the ball with one hand, still holding onto my flask of liquor...not even spilling a single drop.
"Bitch, who knew you was the drunk Randy Moss?" Lacey stated.
I rolled my eyes and laughed. I had been a wide receiver all through high school. I had actually been the best in the country at one point until I started drinking and my motivation was all out the window.
Oh well...liquor replaced football.
"Nice catch," Ken started.
"Oh...thanks but actually, I have to go. I'm sure you'll be good with just Lacey here?"
"Yeah, but come play anytime. Maybe next time you'll leave the flask."
I looked at my flask.
I know he didn't just...
"Um...yeah, I give you a foot and you want to ask for a mile huh? Tough cookie."
I rolled my eyes. This Ken character was real stuck up. Why the hell did he care if I was drinking? He was like someone's damn grandmother or something.
I left Lacey who was obviously google eyes over him by how he hoped back onto the field.
I ran over to Go-Go
smiled at me as I approached him...damn that smile.
How could you someone not be
in love with that smile?
I didn't understand how everyone wasn't in love with Go-Go.
walk I suggested, we never walk together like we used to."
I put my shoulder over him. He was my little angel. I just always wanted to be over him, on top of him. He liked it when I put my arm over him too. He cuddled real close underneath my arm.
"Cause you can hardly walk when you're drunk Breezy, we are always dragging you around."
I laughed, "Explains on those rug burns that keep showing up on my ass."
"Sorry. That was Lacey! Not me," I stated and smiled.
started to walk to the park. Now this
wasn't a nice little park like you would think.
This was the life. The economy had crashed. Drugs was the only business booming. That and monopoly games were definitely popular now. We were in the 2nd Great Depression. Everyone was struggling.
The only thing to smile about was Go-Go.
"Hey, where were you...were you with Mickey?" I asked.
I took a deep breath. Fuck I was sounding crazy.
shook his head, "No, ha...boy I was practicing a Shakespeare monologue in the
mirror and got carried away. Lost track of time. Why would you think I was with Mickey?"
"The two of you have been acting weird."
Go-Go laughed, "Really?"
"Yeah. I mean you like him or something?"
Go-Go didn't answer immediately. He just kind of stopped talking. He stopped walking to and just stopped doing everything but breathing.
Not a good sign.
His eyes hit the rocks. Not the real rocks...this crackhead was smoking rocks next to us.
"Can we talk about something else," Go-Go asked.
"Why?" I asked, panicking a little, "I mean, do you like him? What the hell? Tell me you don't like him."
"Why would I do that?"
"You do like him!"
"You sure you not
"No I'm not drunk."
"Breezy... I smell the liquor on you."
"That don't mean I'm drunk," I stated, "I mean I had a drink or two."
"Oh great, you're drunk."
He wasn't taking me seriously. I moved away from Go-Go. How could I let him know how I felt about him in the right way.
I had to let him know before it was too late. What if he was feeling Mickey and Mickey was feeling him. We all knew what came next.
A hook-up came next.
And hopefully it was just sex. What if it was something more? What if they started a relationship? What if...god...what if they fell in love with one another? What happened then?
Here goes nothing...
"Hey BITCHES!" Lacey came out of no where skipping.
UH! I wanted to rip my hair out.
"LACEY WHAT THE FUCK!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.
"Girl...you got mentstral cramps?" Lacey asked.
"I'm not a girl, ok, Lacey, stop it," I finally said, annoyed as hell, "You are interrupting a serious conversation we were having."
"Oh...look at Breezy trying to be serious," Lacey stated laughing, "Isn't that cute Go-Go?"
Go-Go smiled, "Super cute."
Lacey turned back to me, "Go ahead, continue the convo."
He didn't leave, he just looked at my face.
I took put the flask to my mouth and downed the whole thing.
Why not drink? Maybe I can distort reality enough that I wasn't be so damn annoyed.
"That's more like it," Lacey laughed, "Let's get the good time started."
The good time.
Suddenly the good time wasn't so good anymore.