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"Watch me make this sprite can disappear in my mouth," I started.
I put the can in my mouth, deep-throating it. Then I put it in my mouth and deep-throated it. No gagging at all and then slid it in and out of my mouth. God knows when I learned the trick. All I knew was it kept getting better.
By 5th grade, deep-throating popsicles.
By 8th grade, deep-throating cucumbers.
By now...who knows...
"A mess," Breezy stated and laughed, "You have an audience."
It was this guy. He was standing there with his kid and obviously his wife or something. We were at the mall, lounging around. This wasn't really our territory. The Label Queens usually roamed around the mall, but Breezy and I were here on a mission.
"Oh yea...I do..." I started.
Somehow I always attracted the married guys. He wasn't ugly either. He did look a little older. He reminded me a little of Denzel Washington or something. He had on a gulf shirt and some slacks. His eyes were...branding into me. He watched as I put the sprite can back in my mouth.
Then I saw it.
He licked his lips.
"I hadn't had some good dick in a while," I stated, "Huh...life of a desperate housewife."
"Yeah, I'm married to Mickey's brother."
Breezy broke out laughing, "What Ken? He's not even gay Lacey. Does he know you two are married?"
"Not yet, but he will."
"I guess," Breezy laughed, "Mickey is going to kill you if you try to turn his brother gay."
"He can't stop true love..."
I rolled my eyes. Mickey was going to try it. I could already tell his attitude. I could already tell him throwing the iron at me or trying strangle me with his damn belt.
...Fucked up thing is that I was willing to take the risk.
"Yeah Mickey is kind of annoying huh?" Breezy stated.
I looked at Breezy sideways. It was weird comment that came out of no where. I mean Mickey was a little bit aggressive but none of us had ever called him annoying before. It was just a different term.
"NO MUSIC!" the security guard said walking up and turning off our radio.
"Down with the man!" I replied.
The man -- Any authority figure, often times referring to the government, but in actuality any man who goes against the Bohemian movement.
They were just about to play how many licks too.
"He just pisses me off," Breezy stated.
I turned back to look at Breezy. I hadn't even realized we were still talking about Mickey. It was weird. I could definitely tell when there was a beat. Ever since I was a little kid in 2nd grade, bobbing my head to Salt N Pepa's Push it, I knew how to catch the beats.
Something was going on.
I squinted my eyes, "Bitch, you feeling some type of way about the fact that Mickey and Go-Go getting close ain't you?"
"Stop calling me bitch," Breezy stated, "I'm a grown ass man."
"Just answer the question."
He looked away.
It was obvious! Breezy was getting jealous.
I rolled my eyes, "Girl this is TOO MUCH. Did you drink yet today?"
"What does that have to do with it?"
"When you don't drink you start acting all funny. Girl, Go-Go is like your brother. Go-Go is like Mickey's brother. Ain't nothing going on between them. What the hell..."
Breezy turned away, "Can you look me in my eyes and honestly tell me that?"
He was serious...
Breezy was bugging me with this. He had this look on his face that was full of, I don't know...he was being too serious.
He was being way too serious for a Good-time girl.
I wasn't used to this shit. Usually Breezy was the one who I could just go on chill mode with. If you kept an eye on him and made sure he didn't do nothing when he was drunk, he was just idle. Mickey and Go-Go were a lot more work to take care of.
But now Breezy with all this serious man talk. Where the fuck was his booze?
"Listen Breezy," I stated leaning close to him, "In life when you run out of rope, you tie a knot on the end and hang on."
"Lacey, what does that have to do with anything?"
"Bitch I don't know what you going through! You know damn well I ain't good at these serious moments. I'm a fag with coochie-cutters on in February, for god sakes! You come to me for life advice? I just got that from some guy I was fucking back in the day. I don't know what the fuck it means. Girl, go talk to Mickey...I mean I invited him to the mall."
I was annoyed...AS FUCK.
"You did what?"
"Girl, there he goes right there. Why don't you just talk to him?"
I noticed Mickey on his way over. He was all strutting with his tough guy look. He was in a suit though. Mickey had a job for the man. While Breezy couldn't be sober enough to find a job, I refused to work. I wouldn't work for the man no way. Fuck the 9 to 7. The whole industry was corrupt.
"Ugh," Breezy moaned.
Good. I turned back on the music. I dared the security guard to come back over here with Mickey here.
"Yes!" I stated getting up. This was my song, "I'm a very freaky girl, very freaky girl girl!"
I started to swing my hands in the air and pop my ass.
That was when I realized a tap on my shoulder. It was the married man. He had walked over to me and was talking through the side of his mouth. He wasn't even looking at me in my eye. He was trying to be discreet about it.
His wife was no where in site. Probably at Baby's R Us, buying his kid something. Shade is he was here trying to get some boy ass.
"What's going on?" he stated.
I smiled and
turned around, "Just sitting around, trying to find something to get into."
"Oh huh? Well maybe I can get into you sometime."
Corny ass pick up lines.
"Oh you trying to give me some of that Daddy Dick huh?"
He smiled. Cornball.
"Ok, ok, we can do that. Oh but don't be surprised when I ask where the cash at..."
I smiled at him. He seemed a little bummed but that didn't stop him from slipping me his card. I looked at it. He was a damn real estate agent. What the fuck? I just kept getting the weirdest hook ups.
"Hey boy," I heard a voice say.
I turned around expecting Mickey but it wasn't Mickey that had spoken to me. It was Ken. Both Ken and Mickey were here. I hadn't even seen Ken come in with Mickey.
I smiled at Ken.
I turned back to
Daddy Real Estate and whispered "Hey, on second thought, I change my mind. You
should go give Daddy's dick to your wife."
I gave him back his card.
He looked real pissed as he walked away. Oh hell yeah I was turning down dick and everything now for Ken.
I looked at Ken. He was fly as hell standing next to Mickey.
I smiled, "That was just my real estate agent. I was thinking about buying some property."
Mickey rolled his eyes, "Boy with what money. That was just one of your tricks..."
My mouth dropped. How the hell could Mickey say that in front of Ken. Luckily Ken just thought it was a joke and let out a sexy little laugh.
Damn this boy was so sexy. He pulled his pants up from the crotch as he laughed. I could almost see the imprints of his gigantic package within the jeans. I just wanted to be his rape victim or something.
"Ya'll are all crazy," Ken stated.
Mickey turned to Breezy, "Hey Breezy..."
Breezy just nodded at him quickly and turned to me, "Hey Lacey I'm going to leave. Something came up."
"What something, you don't do shit..."
"Just something ok?"
Breezy walked away quickly. Damn.
"What about the mission!" I called after him.
He didn't reply though. He looked irked. It was clear that it was a beat. I could tell that Mickey had caught it to by how his face soured up. I could already imagine Mickey going after him and tackling him almost.
"What the fuck is his problem yo?" Mickey asked, "Yow, I'm going to fuck that boy up. I swear...yo. He better smarten the fuck up."
"It's not personal."
He got a problem with me.
He snatched Go-Go up the other day leaving me
in front of the club alone. Then I call
him to find out what's going on and he ignores all my calls."
"Girl...next subject," I shrugged it off.
I was sick of this. Really it was getting annoying. Whatever the fuck was going on between the three of them needed to stop...immediately.
"Didn't you come here saying that you needed to do something?" Ken asked.
"Go-Go," Mickey stated.
Bitch, that's what happened when the Good-Time Girls got together. We completely forgot why we had even come to the mall.
"Oh yeah," I stated, "It's Go-Go's birthday this weekend. If we don't throw him a sick ass party, he'll be whining until his next birthday. We all have to get him gifts. Even you Ken."
"What I don't even know him like that," Ken replied shaking his head.
Mickey shrugged, "Get him a gift Ken. This is Go-Go. You aren't understanding. He'll throw a fit if someone comes to his party without a gift."
"Or if all the decorations aren't gold and silver."
"Or if everyone isn't wearing red."
"Or if DJ Tommy Tom isn't there."
"Or if someone doesn't take him out to dinner before and pretend like nothing's going on just to bring him back to his apartment and find there is a surprise party."
Ken raised his hand, "Ok I get the point. It's sad you all deal with that extra crap. It's like you all are living in your own world or something."
I tell you, when his lips smacked together as he talked, it made me wetter then the Little Mermaid. I barely understood what he was saying.
I had to go finger myself in the bathroom or something. I was a bottom. That was how I masturbated.
"I know right Ken..." I stated, "They are so crazy."
Ken looked at me funny, "You too. I'm starting to notice why you hang with them. What's up with the radio? Were you just dancing to Freaky Girl?"
He had this real disappointed look on his
face all of a sudden.
I shook my head, "Um...no...well..."
Fuck. I was busted.
Thankfully I was interrupted by the security guard. He did not seem to be amused that the radio was playing once again.
"I said no radio!" the security guard said turning it off.
"Did he just?" Mickey asked, flabbergasted, "Did he...just..."
gave him a look, "I swear to God, bro, don't even do it.
I swear don't do it!"
It was too late.
Mickey had taken the radio and swung it at the security guards head. He made contact too. I saw the security guard fall to the floor hard to the sounds of Lil Kim's Freaky Girl.
was Go-Go's birthday. It was hard to
hell to get everything ready for this.
Between running from security guards at the
mall, to Lacey stealing out of
I had gone to his building to get him. Plan was I would take him out to dinner and bring him back to my apartment and then he would get a big surprise.
Of course it wasn't a surprise. Go-Go always knew we threw him a surprise birthday party. It was expected. It was like a must.
I was dressed what I felt was my best. I had on a red vest and red tie. Red was Go-Go's favorite color. I made my way up the staircase of his building when I saw him...Breezy.
Him and Go-Go stayed in the same building.
He was on his way down as I was on my way up.
Our eyes connected.
Yeah this was awkward. He had been acting like an asshole lately and I had no idea why. Breezy and I weren't always the closest by any means. We all had separate very close relationships with Lacey and Go-Go. We were kind of best friends just due to the fact that we were around each other all the time, but that was mostly due to association.
Lately however, it was obvious he had some type of beef with me.
"What you just going to walk right past me?" I asked him.
"I don't want to fight with you ok Mickey," He replied, trying to walk past me.
I blocked him off.
Breezy was drunk. He was stumbling down the damn steps.
"No you been acting funny and I don't think I deserved it. What the hell did I ever do to you?"
He gave me a look, "Don't act like you don't know."
"No I don't. Breezy you been acting weird. What the hell is your beef yo?"
He didn't say anything. He just stood up against the wall waiting for me to move. LIKE he didn't even hear me or some shit. What the fuck was the matter with him? I watched as he squatted up against the wall.
He was acting like such a dickhead. Staring out into nothingness ignoring my question completely.
"I don't have anything to say to you."
"You fucking kid."
"You fucking immature little brat. I should beat your ass."
He rolled his eyes. I wanted to take his head and smash it into the damn wall behind him. I hated when people ignored me. I hated when people were mad at me FOR NO REASON.
"That's how you solve your issues. Huh?"
"Whatever Mr. Big and mighty.
You can't stay sober long enough to realize
that rooms don't actually spin. How the hell you going to
talk to me about ethics?"
"You right. I can't. So why the fuck we standing here pretending like I like you and that you like me. We aren't friends. We never have been. You cool with Mickey and you cool with Lacey. That doesn't make us friends."
What the fuck was he saying?
Breezy was really pissing me off. We weren't friends?
those times I cleaned up your fucking puke on
Breezy stopped slumping against the wall.
I could see he was angry with the look in his eyes. I couldn't believe this. Breezy and I were the only two that NEVER got into arguments. I argued with Go-Go and Lacey-Tyler more then anything. You would think we had been sent on this world to destroy each other. But I never did this with Breezy. Breezy and I always got along fine.
"O ok, when Go-Go was around you did," he replied, "You did all that to impress Go-Go didn't you?"
"Breezy. You sound crazy right now. What the hell are you talking about? What does Go-Go have to do with this."
"Well if you are asking me if Go-Go was around everytime I was a good friend to you. Then you are wrong. You don't know what you're talking about. You're always fucking drunk Breezy. You drunk now...come on, I'll take you back to your apartment."
I grabbed him by his arm.
He shoved me away.
"Get the fuck off me. I'm not your fucking friend. I told you that shit already!"
"Yo, don't be getting all loud if you can't back that shit up, little boy," I stated, irked that he had shoved me off in the way he had.
He was getting real defensive. He was bigger then me, muscle wise. He had been a football player, but I was the fighter. I didn't care how big he was. I would drag his ass down these steps and force puke right out of him on the concrete if he fucked with me.
"You think I'm scared of you. I'm not no pussy. You not going to be pushing me around," Breezy started, buffing up his chest, "Little boy..."
"Yo, I'm about to..."
I took off my coat.
I didn't have time to talk. He took off his coat as well, following my lead. I was going to whoop this boys ass. Good, he didn't want to be friends. I'd treat him like I treated my enemies...
Just then I saw Go-Go walk into the staircase.
"Hey Breezy, you forgot your cellphone in my apartment," Go-Go stated.
Just then he stopped, probably realizing what the hell was going on. He knew what it meant when I took off my coat and folded it up and put it on the side. I started rolling up my sleeves. Yeah, I was going to make this boy know it.
"Go-Go stay back there," I started.
"What the hell...no! No, no, no, no, no!" Go-Go started out, running down.
I swung at Breezy immediately, my fist hitting his cheek. He didn't fall as I had hoped, but I could see him turn red immediately by the impact. He started to back at me throwing these reckless punches, but then I saw Go-Go get in the way.
Go-Go had gotten in the way just as I had swung.
I had connected with Go-Go instead of Breezy.
Go-Go fell down the steps.
Luckily it wasn't that many steps. He fell down just a few and rolled up in the corner.
I ran down the steps, fuck. This was horrible. It was his fucking birthday for godsakes. I started to tend to him. It hadn't been the first time that I had hit Go-Go by far, but it had been the first time since I'd been starting to have these...feelings...for him.
Go-Go wasn't moving. He was on the floor. His body was jerking. I knew he was faking. Go-Go hadn't fallen that far. He was going to milk it for all it was worth though. I could see his left eye slightly opening seeing if anyone was coming to help him up. He was definitely faking.
Of course I wouldn't say anything about it.
I bent over and just as I did, I felt Breezy shove me hard out of the way. He was strong too. He sent me into the wall hard.
Oh no this motherfucker didn't.
He barked at me, "Move! See what the fuck you did!"
He was blaming this on me? I couldn't believe him. I lunged back at him but just as I did, I saw Go-Go jump back onto his feet as though he hadn't been faking a coma this entire time.
"OH NO!" he said hopping to his feet, "This is over! I don't want to know what is happening BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN ON MY BIRTHDAY. So get it together. You both have somewhere to be. If you don't make this up to me, I'll hate both of you forever. Breezy you have to be helping Lacey out with my surprise party! Mickey, you are supposed to be taking me to dinner."
"Are you ok?"
"GO! GO! GO!" Go-Go replied, hurriedly.
Breezy went back to get his jacket, all the while shooting me these crazy looks as he did. I wanted to beat his ass so bad. I wished I just had a few more minutes alone with his ass. What the fuck was his problem?
We had arrived at the McCormicks at 7 pm. I watched as Go-Go searched through the menu for the most ridiculous thing to order. He always ordered the thing on the menu that he didn't know. He'd take two bites, hate it and complain to the waiter for the longest time until it was taken off the bill. Even on his birthday, when I was paying for everything.
I couldn't lie. I was shook up. Breezy had shook me up.
"Can you believe he said he didn't want to be my friend anymore?" I ask Go-Go, "What the hell did I ever do to Breezy?"
Go-Go rolled his eyes, "No negativity on my birthday."
He was right.
I was taking this hard. It's just Breezy was so...serious. I didn't think the liquor was speaking. He wasn't an angry drunk. Breezy was always the happiest person when he was drunk. He did whatever felt good when he was drunk. The smallest things made him happy. He always had a smile on. He was always the happiest person in the room, everywhere we went.
I had never seen Breezy so angry...
"I'm not really too hungry. You just get something," I stated and tried to smile. Truth was I could hardly smile at all.
"You going to eat," Go-Go replied, "It's my birthday."
He'd say the phrase, "It's my birthday" a million times before his birthday ended. He wouldn't let anyone forget it. The waiter came over to the table. I guess I had to eat.
"I'll just get the porkroast," I told the waiter.
Go-Go smiled to the waiter, "It's my birthday."
"Happy birthday..." the waiter said smiling back.
"What?" Go-Go said looking weird at him.
"I said happy birthday," the waiter said, confused.
"What the fuck? You have to go back there and get all the other fucking waiters and you all have to come back out in a train singing a song FOR ME! What the hell? Why do I have to tell you that on my birthday!"
"Oh we don't do that sir. Not at this restaurant."
Go-Go's bottom lip started to tremble.
"Two pork roasts," I stated, dismissing the waiter before Go-Go caused a scene.
Go-Go's bottom lip was still trembling when the waiter walked away. He had started to snort and I could see his eyes filling up already.
Oh God. I wanted to knock the fucking waiter out for making Go-Go upset. I should go back there...no, fuck it was his birthday. Go-Go wouldn't want anyone fighting on his birthday. Well, one waiter.
No...I'd remember the waiter's name and I'd come back. That is what I would do. His name was Bill. I was going to get you, Bill. I was going to get you real fucking good. Kill Bill 3.
"Go-Go, it's ok," I stated, trying to calm him down.
He was already crying. Tears were rolling down his eyes. Thing was Go-Go wasn't feminine as Lacey. He wasn't masculine like me or Breezy though. Someone could tell he was gay just because of his actions. This for example. He'd had no trouble crying in public.
Truth was...I hadn't realized until today that it was turning me on a little bit to see a man so sensitive.
"No its not! This is the worst birthday ever. My best friends are fighting. I don't get a song."
I grabbed his hand from across the table, "Listen, ignore all that stuff. We are here together. We survived one more year...together. The good-time girls. That's all that matters. The good time, that's all we have. Other people have family, other people have goals, other people have responsibilities, but not us. We just have each other. And we have the DJ. God is our DJ and the city is your dancefloor, Go-Go. The dance floor was made especially for you. And me. And Lacey..."
I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, him too..." I stated and smiled, "But it's just ours. The weekend is just ours."
I waited for him to stop crying. I was hoping he would. Sometimes it took a little to change Go-Go's mood but sometimes it took a lot. You never really knew with Go-Go.
Just then, I saw him smile.
There it was. It was the smile that I liked...that I liked a whole lot.
Suddenly it felt like everything was right in the world again, just to see the smile on Go-Go's face. All of a sudden all my anger towards Breezy was swept away. Me hitting the security guard with the radio was swept away.
Only thing left in the world was Go-Go and I at this table. Go-Go was here with his smile and me with this funny feeling in my chest.
What was that feeling?
"Can I be real with you?" he asked me.
I wasn't trying to mack him. I wasn't trying to lower my eyes and stare right into his and keep my hand over his. I wasn't trying to lean in close and whisper with this deep low voice. It was just...happening and I couldn't stop it.
And I just got out of a relationship but right now it felt like...Orion, who?
always had a thing for you," he told me and smiled, "Ever since you stood up
from me a long time ago. I felt like...I don't know
I was shocked. My mouth had dropped a little. I just never knew. I mean Go-Go had always been a little brother to me. Of course I always thought he was very attractive, but not many people could deny he was an attractive person.
"Yeah, I mean I know I was always you're annoying like you're annoying little brother," he stated and laughed.
"No...I mean you were like my brother, but I have a brother," Mickey stated, "Ken. I mean you were the brother that I always wanted. Ken is all stuck up. I used to wish so much that you and Ken could switch, you know? I would have traded him any day for you."
It was true. Ken was the definition of a Debbie Downer.
"You don't get what I'm saying..."
"What are you saying Go-Go?"
He looked at me with these wondering eyes, "I don't want to be like your little brother anymore...I like you Mickey. I like you not as a brother...more like Mommy and Daddy."
This flood of emotions sailed through me. I mean, I had to tell him that I liked him too. Because truth was I did, but then I just had all these thoughts.
What if it didn't work out? I would ruin one of the best relationships that I had with anyone. It wasn't safe. It wasn't smart. What if I fucked it up, like I fucked it up with Orion? It seemed like I was good at fucking up my relationships with people even against my will. My friendship with Breezy was damn near on the line and I didn't understand why at all.
What if I fucked
this one up?
No...I couldn't tell him I liked him back...not just yet.