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I walked into the apartment. All my friends were there.
My two cousins from
I broke out in tears immediately...
"Aw! How cute," the lady next door stated, as though the birthday surprise had brought me to tears.
No...it wasn't the reason I was crying.
I ran past everyone pushing past them all and running to the Mickey's bathroom. The hell with this party! The hell with all of them. I couldn't believe this shit.
I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
I sat on the floor, locking the door and leaning against it.
I had told him how he felt about me and he shut me down. What the hell. He shut me down.
I had said, "I like you."
And he gave, "Oh...well, um, thanks."
Thanks? Thanks! Mickey is that all I get! I didn't speak for the rest of the dinner. The worst thing is...HE DIDN'T EVEN ASK WHY! He just ignored the fact that I was upset and kept talking about how funny it was when he got into this fight with a guy from some local gang.
Fuck this party.
Fuck my birthday!
"Go-Go what happened now?" Lacey asked.
He was calm about it. How the hell could he be calm? I had just shut down everybody at MY birthday party and made a dash to the bathroom.
"I'm about to kill myself!"
I looked around. Damn he was right. I dug through the medical shelf. Nothing. What the fuck. For someone as violent as Mickey you would think there would be equally violent stuff around his apartment.
I started to run the water in the tub.
"I'm going to drown myself!"
"Girl, if you don't come out here and tend to your guests. Girl, this is your party. You need to be out here having a good time. You only turn 21 once."
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
I kicked the door.
"Girl, I got you a date and everything. And he's versatile too. Ain't that what ya girls like these days? Ya want to give the goods and get some too?"
"I'M ABOUT TO DO IT! I'M KILLING MYSELF. Better call the cops."
"Girl please, ain't no one calling the cops. Get out here and drink some liquor, feel your pussy on the dancefloor like you always do and rub some cock. It's ALL about the good time. You know our motto!"
I kicked the door again.
"Call the cops."
"Girl I'm going to go get a drink," I heard him say through the door, "The party is already started and I'm too drunk for this. Girl, I'll send Mickey over."
"Ok girl, I'll send Breezy."
"Whatever. Call the cops too while you're at it...and don't let anyone drink pop any champagne bottles until I get over my depression!"
I sloped on the floor.
I was so pissed off.
I couldn't believe this was going on.
I sat against the bathroom wall. I couldn't believe Mickey had just played me out and then pretended like he didn't. He hadn't even come to knock on the door. He was just paying me dust! What kind of shit is that? How the hell he going to play me out like that after all I just told him how I felt.
After we had kissed the way we did...
I knew it wasn't just a Good-Time kiss. I'd hooked up with Lacey multiple times. Those were Good-Time Kisses. Mickey's kiss was different. I thought I felt something. I guess I was wrong. I was so embarrassed.
"Go-Go..." a voice said.
"Breezy how drunk are you from one to ten before we start this conversation."
"Just 3, I wanted to be sober for your birthday."
"Come sit by the keyhole Go-Go, so I can hear you better."
I did as he said, walking to the keyhole and sitting down. Breezy had played the one to calm me down several times. I especially loved how he did it when he was sober. I figured I must definitely be in for something good.
"This better be everything, cause the tub's almost full and I am going to kill myself."
"Breezy, I used myself..."
"I told Mickey," I said pausing and taking a deep breath, "That I liked him. He didn't say anything but thanks. Can you believe that? I wanted to take it back so bad, but you can't take shit like that back."
He paused as well.
I could only imagine how stupid I sounded to him. I was stupid for liking my best friend. I was stupid for it and I knew it, but I couldn't help how I felt about Mickey.
"Go-Go, you don't like Mickey."
"No, you just like the idea of Mickey. You two aren't even compatible," Breezy stated, "Mickey's a top. You are versatile. Can you imagine him just wanting to fuck you all the time?"
I thought about it. I had never dated a complete top before. It would definitely be weird.
"Besides, don't let him bring you down," he said through the keyhole, so I can hear him next to the blasting music, "You are smart, sexy and the more of a good time then anyone I know?"
"You think I'm a really good time?"
"You are the best time," Breezy continued, "And that's what it's all about. Remember God-Bless..."
"How can I forget Edwin Jones, a.k.a God-Bless."
"Well remember how God-Bless said we were all going to end up with HIV, raped in the back of the gutter, drunk with two black eyes. And we all laughed. Why is that? It could honestly be the truth. Why did we laugh Go-Go?
"Because it was funny and we didn't care."
"I don't get it Breezy. Try again, go slow. I need to soak in the motivation."
"Go-Go, people like God-Bless felt like they had this big connection to their soul, and their so deep. They are SO much better then us. Because they have their schools, their churches. All we had was our party. But I thought about it and I was felt why wasn't that enough. Why can't we have a deep connection. You know? I feel like we do. We have a deep connection to our trifling ways. We accept our fucked up lifestyle. We kind of like the fact that we probably won't live to see 30. The fact that we are probably going to hell tickles us a little bit. Yet from this we find passions, love...we find happiness. They think it's our faults but it's our happiness. The idea means so much. It's all we have. This party. This moment. Here and now. The lifestyles we live don't guarantee tomorrow. It's all about today. This party, Go-Go, this is your life. Plain and simple. And you have to enjoy it as though it was your last day."
Tears were rolling down my eyes.
Yes his speech was moving, it was long and drawn out.
It probably wouldn't make sense to anyone else, but it made sense to me.
All of the horrible things the four of us had bee through. All of that didn't matter. I was still alive and I still had my three best friends.
"Aw, Breezy I love you," I said opening the door and giving him a hug.
He hugged me back, "I love you too."
We stood there hugging for a moment. He didn't mind me letting my tears dry on his shoulder. It didn't bother him at all.
"I'm going to apologize to Mickey."
"You were right. All we have is today."
I walked over to everyone. Yes, I could always count on one of my friends to snap me back into my happy mode and now I was definitely happy.
I walked out waving at everyone as I collected my gifts. This was my moment. This was my life. Party and bullshit. That was all we were about. And there was nothing wrong with it.
"LOOK AT ME!" I said, jumping up on the table and announcing, "I LOVE ALL
OF YOU! I'M SO HAPPY! I'M SOOOO HAPPY!"
Everyone at the party was so happy. I looked around. The disco lights were on. My favorite music was playing. Lacey was just sitting around giving Ken the dirty look from across the room as though no one noticed. Ken was sitting next to Mickey. God knows what they were talking about.
I walked over to them. I waved at Ken.
"Hey," I stated.
He smiled, "Hi."
He looked at me like I had something written on my face. What the hell? Did he not understand English?
"I'm sorry," he stated after a long study of my expression, "I didn't
"I don't like you very much..."
"Good I don't like you either."
Asshole. I didn't see what Lacey was tripping about. He was so fucking stuck up. I gave him this nasty look. Debbie Downer.
He was definitely the boy at the party who sat at the same chair all night long thinking someone would notice him. That wouldn't make anyone notice your ass but the person who came in liking your ass. Lacey was over there pretending to be a good boy. If Ken wasn't here, he'd be giving some guy head in the back room.
He was giving Ken his life like Ken was super super cute. He was cute, but Mickey was a whole lot sexier. Mickey was a bad boy...just like I liked them. He had been eyeing me ever since I walked over. He hadn't said anything.
I grabbed him and picked him up, taking him to the wall section where everyone was dancing. We were going to rock on the dance floor, like in highschool.
"It's ok, you don't have to say anything you don't want to," I told him.
He didn't reply. He just kind of followed me. I was about to get a little grind session in when all of a sudden they started to play a slow song.
What the fuck? I HATED slow music. The DJ had me fucked up. I turned to the DJ. I was about to go shut his ass down when I felt Mickey pull at me.
"I like this song," he stated.
He pulled me close into him onto the dance floor. It was sexy how he had did it. The tops I knew were all pretty aggressive but Mickey had to trump them all.
"Us against the world," I replied.
That was the name of the song. Mickey had me up against the wall. His mouth was open a little bit in this sexy way. His eyes stared into mine.
He separated my legs grinding up against me to the slow music as we faced each other. I put my hands around his neck and held on as he swayed his body up against mine...slowly. We had started to escape...we had started to escape into the music.
Then I realized it. I realized the hard on in his pants.
"Damn I'm horny as hell," he stated, "I haven't had sex in the longest time."
"I can tell."
I reached down and touched it.
I felt his whole body shiver, "Ugh don't do that. I'm too horny right now. But why don't you come in the bedroom with me though?"
"Bro you being bad."
"I know," he said and laughed, "But seriously I kind of want to finish the conversation that we were having during dinner...when you said that you liked me."
I smiled and nodded. Hell yeah I wanted to go in with him. I was even more surprised when I felt Mickey grabbing my hand. I mean I guess it was no big thing to see two gay guys holding hands as just friends, but the way he was looking at me...a fool could tell there was more to this.
Then suddenly. Almost like a fucking bomb something happened.
Something that I hadn't expected.
I sat by the side watching Mickey grind up on Go-Go. This was ridiculous. I had just been thinking about making up with Mickey. And then like a dickhead he goes and pulls this right in front of my face.
I took two back to back shots of 100 Apples. The liquor coursed through my system. I didn't need a chaser. I looked over at Lacey. He had made his way over to Ken and they were chatting it up. Everyone was happy.
Everyone was happy but me.
The thing is I was ALWAYS the happiest one. I was the always the one who always had a smile on his face. I was always supposed to be in a good mood.
Where the hell was he? I had invited him a while ago. I poured another shot when I felt a tap on my shoulder in the middle of the party.
It was God-Bless. Great...all I needed right now.
"You shouldn't poison your body with those sins. You are a talented young man. Out of all your friends you are the one who really has what it takes to make it. Why are you allowing yourself to..."
"OH GOD!" I stated.
"This is some good ass liquor," I replied, turning it to him, "Try some."
I was getting drunk. It was hard enough to see what Mickey and Go-Go was doing let along trying to put up with his ass bugging me. How did God-Bless find out about these parties.
He always came with a good-ol' bible in his hand preaching to everyone. This was a mess.
"No," he replied and looked deeply at me, "Is this what your life is? Having sex with men? Drinking to run away from your problems..."
Was he talking about Go-Go?
No. It was impossible. He couldn't know anything about Go-Go.
"Oh...I'm feeling the buzz."
"You can play football. I heard about the scholarships you got from all those colleges wanting you to play football."
"My head hurts. Yep. This is that good stuff. It's going to be a long
"You aren't even listening to me."
"Well you aren't even talking to me."
"What? Yes I am."
I turned around. There was no one in front of me or in back of me. Everyone was either on the dance floor or lounging around the chairs. I laughed. Oh hell he was talking to me then. I was DEFINITELY drunk.
I started to laugh hysterically, "Hey, I'm feeling this buzz. Where's your boy, Jesus, tell him I'm buzzed, my dude. Tell him to come take a shot with me."
I was slurring my words.
His face soured up. It was hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing.
He walked away, saying a prayer.
Dang, God-Bless needed to learn how to loosen up and have a good time. I turned around looking across the room.
All I needed in my life was some good head.
I made my way to the vacuum. No that wasn't a vaccum...or was it? Betty. I loved Betty. I was so drunk. Betty could suck my dick.
That would feel real good.
I started to unbutton my pants. Yeah. Why not just stick it in Betty?
Suddenly just as I was about to do it my eyes had caught Mickey...Mickey and Go-Go. No I didn't want Betty to suck my dick. I wanted Go-Go to suck my dick. Damn, he had those sexy nice lips. That fat bubble ass. Those broad shoulders. I could just imagine what the rest of him looked like.
I made my way over. I was going to grab him up from Mickey. That was when Mickey whispered something into Go-Go's ear. And Go-Go nodded and Mickey grabbed his hand.
And they started over to the bedroom.
Oh hell no.
Just then I saw Orion finally enter the building. Great. I had invited him a while ago. He had noticed exactly what I had noticed with Mickey and Go-Go.
"What the hell?" he stated, quickly walking across the room.
Damn. This was going to be something. This was definitely going to be something. I tried the hardest I could to make the room stop spinning so I could pay attention.
Mickey turned around pissed off, "What the fuck are you doing here? Who the fuck invited you?"
It was me...you piece of shit. That's what you deserve, being greedy. He obviously hadn't gotten over Orion like he thought he had if he was this upset.
"Oh now I'm not invited to your things anymore?"
"Mickey?" I heard Go-Go state.
Go-Go needed constant attention. I could tell he wouldn't have been able to handle someone paying anyone else attention even if it was negative. Even if Mickey was screaming at the guy...it didn't matter.
"No you're not!" Mickey stated.
He had let go of Go-Go's hand. He was completely ignoring Go-Go in his hatred for Orion. I could see Orion getting just as mad. Orion was a pretty boy with a lot of sass. He had his finger all in Mickey's face.
"So now that I'm out of the picture you are laid up with your best
friend? What's wrong, couldn't find no one else?"
"Laid up? Me and Go-Go are not the fuck laid up. What the fuck are you talking about, faggot."
"I saw that look in your eyes!"
They were causing a scene. Lacey had noticed from across the room. He was taking off his jewelry. Lacey wasn't nearly as crazy as Mickey but he did fight when need called for it. I was sure that is what he was preparing to do to Orion. It made more sense because they were around the same size and I was sure Lacey would fight for Mickey in a second.
"That was nothing!" Mickey stated, "Me and Go-Go are friends. That's it. What the fuck...you jealous?"
He hadn't realized Go-Go slinking into the background. He hadn't realized Go-Go up against the wall ready to tear up. No he was too busy being pissed off at his ex. Just like I thought he would.
This was proof.
I was always the one to pick up the pieces when Mickey let Go-Go down. I went over to the table of drinks and made Go-Go a drink and I.
By the time my drunk ass had gotten it over to him, half it had spilled but still he seemed to appreciate the gesture. I watched as he took it back like a Pro. He took it back like me.
Shit...I handed Go-Go my drink as well. And he did it again!
"I don't got shit to be jealous of!" Orion stated.
"Then why you so mad? You fucking Johnny anyway. Go let Johnny fuck you!"
Orion rolled his eyes.
"Me and Johnny are over because of you! You just beat his ass. What you going to scare everyone that I am interested in away?"
"That's exactly what I'm going to do, faggot," he stated, "Put it on my life! Anyone you talk to I'm going to drag they ass like a motherfucking beat. Anyone. I'm going to put my hands on them when I see them!"
"Cause I can."
"What the fuck? That's not a reason."
"I'm not looking for reasons? Do I look like Carmen Sandiago? I'm going to start knocking faggots. I'm not asking any questions. If I see you with someone, you already know what's going to happen!"
I grabbed Go-Go.
He'd heard enough. It was obvious that Mickey still had feelings for Orion. They'd be there arguing for awhile too. Mickey never admitted it, but he liked how Orion had that sassy mouth. He liked going back and forth with Orion. He liked someone to push him to the edge where he just wanted to kill them.
The look on Go-Go's face tore my heart apart. I grabbed the rest of the liquor bottle. This was going to be along night.
"He didn't even notice me!" Go-Go stated.
It was an hour later.
We were in the bedroom.
I had locked both Go-Go and I in Mickey's bedroom. God knows what the hell was happening outside. All I knew was we were tore up in here. We were drunk as hell.
"Maybe he think you invisible!"
"Oh no!" Go-Go said staggering towards me, "Mickey am I invisible? Oh my god! Mickey, you would have told me if I was invisible, wouldn't you!"
I laughed. Go-Go's face was so serious. Yeah, he wasn't a drinker light me. He was laced. He couldn't even stand straight. He was still sexy though.
God it felt so good to be drunk next to Go-Go. Being drunk was the best. Everything you felt was intensified. You were all about emotions and senses. Everything tasted so much better. Everything felt so much better.
"If you was drunk I wouldn't know...I wouldn't see you!"
It seemed to click to him.
"If I was drunk?"
"I mean if you were invisible!"
We both started to laugh hysterically. It was almost impossible having a good conversation when you was drunk. I wanted to so bad though.
I saw Go-Go rolling around on the floor. He was just rolling around laughing. He wouldn't stop. Him laughing caused me to laugh more.
There we were laughing for about 5 minutes.
It only stopped when I managed to drag him off the floor and lay him in the bed. His face was so...perfect. His teeth were so white. I ran my fingers through his soft curly hair. I just wanted to pull that hair.
I wanted to threaten him with a good time.
"I'm going to be an...an alcoholic," Go-Go said,
"This is so much fun. I came in
here wanting to cry. I don't even
really care anymore."
I laughed, "I feel closer to God when I'm under the influence."
Go-Go laughed, starting to laugh hysterically. I put my hand over his mouth. His skin was so smooth. I just wanted to touch him. It felt so good to touch him. I knew it shouldn't feel THIS good. It was the liquor, but didn't mind. I was tingling all over.
I didn't understand how the words came out of my mouth, because I was such a punk, but they did come out of my mouth. I had told Go-Go to kiss me.
He laughed out the words, "Hey buddy. Just cause we are best friends doesn't mean you can patronize me!"
I smiled, "Patronize. I don't know what that means. Kiss me. I know you've never been this drunk before. I want to share a kiss with you...it feels so good."
He leaned up and kissed me pecking me on the lips.
I raised an eyebrow. Now he knew damn well that wasn't what I wanted. Then all of a sudden he let out a little laugh and his face got red. He leaned forward and started to kiss me...for real this time.
He held on to the back of my neck, lowering me onto him.
He started to tongue me down. Extreme kissing our tongues climbing into each other. I went over him, adjusting his body underneath me.
Before I knew it...I was kissing on his neck.
And he was moaning...loudly, challenging the music of the party outside the room, "OH, OH FUCK! That FEELS SO GOOD!"
My dick got harder then Calculus to hear him moan from pleasure because of me. All the wet dreams I had, all those were coming true. He wasn't stopping me...no, Go-Go was aiding me. He moved my head back to his lips and started to kiss me again, sliding his long tongue into my throat almost choking me.
He liked it rough. I started to kiss down his neck once again, moving grabbing his shirt. His thin H&M shirt was torn off of him before I even knew it.
And before I knew it, I had his legs in the air.
He wasn't stopping me. He was moaning. He had his eyes closed moaning loudly, as I lifted his legs and started to feel his ass.
"That feels so good," he stated.
"You want me to
"FUCK NO!" he stated.
That was all I needed, before taking off his pants and mine. His thin waist underneath me fit perfectly into my hands. His ass was the biggest that I had seen.
I didn't give a fuck that I was drunk.
I picked him up and just as I did my pants fell to my ankles.
And I had him cradled in my arms as I stood. His legs were stradled around my waste. Then I lowered his ass right on my dick. I wasn't thinking about anything. Safe sex went out the window. The fact that I may be fucking up my friendship with him went out the window. The fact that I didn't even have any lube went out the window.
As I lowered his ass onto my dick, I felt it was so tight. He was so much lighter then I thought he'd be. I don't know why. It was so easy to lift him up.
It was so easy to drop him.
His ass seemed naturally wet.
"I'm about to fuck you to death boy," I told him, "You don't know how long I been waiting for this."
"Oh yeah...fuck me, fuck me, fuck me."
He didn't have to say anything else. I had his ass in midair and I started to lower it on my dick. It was so tight, so warm! Damn, what the hell had I been missing all these years?
He held on tight to my neck, probably afraid I would drop his ass or something and probably dizzy as hell from the liquor.
Every time my dick went into that juicy ass, I felt like I wanted to nut.
Every single time.
But the best was I heard his voice. The unfamiliar sex to the very familiar voice.
"You're so big..." he had stated.
I was big and he was tight. It was just a damn symphony orchestra in the making. I was sweating. I hadn't realized it but it was probably the liquor, the heat and the friction.
Not realizing my strength, I pulled my dick out and flinged Go-Go the other way, so that he wasn't facing me but his ass was. I wanted to see it. I wanted to make this real. I wanted to make this really real.
I started to fuck him again, this time, it went deeper. This time he moaned louder. This time he was screaming.
"Oh fucking...oh my ...GOD!" he yelled, "I'm crying! Tears are coming from my eyes!"
He was being dramatic again, but this was some good ass. This was some good sex. I felt everything like I was getting some kind of surgery inserting pleasure into every pore of my body.
And then I nutted.
It didn't make sense and it didn't matter, because I wasn't done yet. There was something about holding him, lowering him onto the bed and preparing to pull out that made me just horny again.
So right as I pulled my dick out, cum and all, I put it back in and started to grind him on the bed once again.
And that is how we hunched.
Hunch: To fuck.