Date: Fri, 29 Jul 2005 22:02:22 EDT
From: NEL114@aol.com
Subject: gay highschool he was my bestfriend chapter 3

Here's the third chapter of he was my best friend. And thank my muse Sarah,
she pushes the hell outa me to get these chapters done, Lol. LOVE YA SARA. Ok
so if your to young *clears throat* to read these then don't get caught. Same
thing for the legal stuff, ok that's done, if you like it tell me
NEL114@aol.com and if I'm on say hi, always fun to talk to people about this story. If you
don't like it flame me all you want the fire don't burn. EnJOi!!!

He was my best friend chapter 3: never let go

Those were good memories. we had a good start but I just don't know what
happened, I mean I love josh and he loves me But, Why the need for other people,
why couldn't he just have me. I thought he was kidding with the Bi thing, and
then the open relationship. What the hell, what was the point of it all. I love
him so it should just be me and him, right? But I found out the he wasn't
joking around, he was dead serious. And how did I find out...

I was sitting in the gym, waiting for Josh to come out of the locker room.
Drama club lets out earlier than basketball practice so I always wait out here.
Just staring at the clouds day dreaming. Thinking how well I've got it. I mean
I'm fifteen and I'm madly in love with a guy, a good guy. We were as close
at two guys could get, and then we got even closer.  We have sex at lease three
times a day, but its not just sex its love. I love him.

" BOO!!!" some one had just scared me shitless, josh is so dead.

" Josh, I am so gonna kick your ass." I heard some laughing way too hard at
my jumpiness. I had a hand over my heart trying to keep it from jumping out of
my chest. That laugh, it wasn't joshes

" haha. You are soo fucking scary." he laughed, Johnny laughed as he sat down
beside me. Knees touching, shoulders touching.

" DUDE! That is soo not funny. What if I like, had a heart attack." I found
myself laughing. Even though my heart was going a mile a minute, I laughed. He
always made me feel special.

" Well if you had a heart attack I would make sure your funeral rocked. Be
the best fucking party ever." he laughed and I laughed with him. He really was a
cool person.

" You have one of thee weirdest senses of humor. Yea, but you better not play
any of that crap you call music at my going away party."

" Are you calling my music crap?" he looked sideways at me with a devious
smirk.

" You betcha. And you know it is too, good charlotte, nough said." I turned
to face him.

"  Take that back!" he smiled at me. He got up like he was walking away, but
turned around and tackled me to the grass.

" Dude!!" I laughed. I thought to myself, `But josh should be out soon, I
should stop'.

" And what do you call music? I hope not that EMO SHIT you listen to." I was
appalled, did he just call Emo shit?

"OH MY GOD! Take it back...or else." I love my music, he was so gonna pay for
that.
" Or else what? What could little ole you do to BIG ole me, Huh. KID." he
laughed. Well he was bigger than me, and as far as stronger. Yea that too. He wasn
't anything like josh. He has black hair and green eyes, it looks incredible.
He has this whole bad boy punk look to fit his `I'm a bad ass' attitude.
Needless to say that he was beyond hot. But me and him are in the past. I finally
have josh and I'm not screwing it up.

" haha, get off." josh would be out anytime soon and I so didn't want him to
see me like this.

" Say pretty please, come on beg." then he bent down to my ear and whispered,
" you know you want it." I could swear I felt `little Johnny' against my
crotch.

" Dude, you hard? Oh my god get off!" I faked a disgusted look which he saw
through and smiled.

" Come on I know you miss me." his face started to look serious. " what'd I
do wrong? Why did you block me out?" whether he knew it or not he was slowly
humping my crotch and as bad as I wanted not to, I got hard.

" Johnny stop!" I needed to get out. How did we go from friends joking around
to having public sex in school.

" Why wont you tell me? Oh I get it your afraid, huh" josh isn't out yet, and
I couldn't betray him like that. I couldn't tell his secret, without his
consent. Even though he's friends with one of the many gay boys at our school,
people don't think twice about his orientation for reasons I would find out later
...

" Look its not you...I just cant, ok." I tried to push him away but he grabbed
my wrists and put them on either side of me.

" Then what is it? If its about the sex thing I'm sorry, I really am." he was
moving in closer. Oh no he's trying to kiss me.

" Johnny! No!" but he kept on, so I did what my instincts told me. My legs
were between his and right near his dick, his hard dick. " Johnny I'm warning
you!"

" And what if I say no" his face was inches away from my own with that smile
that always seems to be there , he started to lean back in. and then he
suddenly made a pained face. Dumbass, I told him to get off. While he was stunned I
pushed him to the side and got up. I looked down, he was holding his package
with both hands in pain. It was pretty funny.

" You shoulda listened." I smiled. I turned in the direction of the gym. Bad
move.

" And you shouldn't turn your back." I just gave him one of the most painful
experiences of his life and he just jumps right back up. Weird, probably high.
He started laughing. " ooh baby that turned me on soo bad." he whispered in
my ear and started to laugh. His hardon pressed into my back.

" Johnny, dude I'm serious." I was serious, I like messing around- wrong
choice of words. I like joking with Johnny, he's a funny guy. Makes you feel
comfortable around him. But when he was like this, he could get annoying and play
way too much.

" You heard him fucker. Get off." and that's when I felt josh's hand
separate Johnnies body from my own. Quite roughly I might add. Uh oh he's mad.

" What the fuck are you doing out here? With him." yep, I was right he's
pissed.

" He is my friend josh. And we were just talking." I didn't want him mad at
me, but he couldn't tell me who I could and couldn't be friends with.

" It didn't look like just talking to me."

"  Mind your own Fuck face! he can to talk to whoever the hell he wants."
Johnny said getting in josh's face. Yea they still hate each other. " you heard
him, we were talking."

" Johnny..." I didn't want them to fight, not over something as silly as me.
But he ignored me. I knew josh was beyond hope but maybe Johnny wouldn't be.

" Here, go to the car." josh said while throwing his car keys backwards. Not
taking his eyes off Johnny. He's going to fight him, every time. Always ready
to swing.

" Not unless you come with me."

" No! did you hear what he said? Of course you did but your going to take his
side any way. You always do!" he yelled. He yelled at me, I cant believe it.
He actually yelled at me.

" Don't talk to him like that!"

" Josh stopping act like a kid and come on!" and when that didn't work." we
have homework to do." I know that was low but I didn't want them to fight. Josh
would never pass up sex.

They just stood there a while after that til Josh finally spoke, " you are so
fucking lucky."

" Ok bitch boy. Go do your homework." now I was afraid of what Josh  might
say.

" Johnny, leave it alone." they are just like kids, one person shut ups and
the other has to start some more shit.

 " Don't worry. I will DO my homework." he turned around and glanced at me
before looking back at Johnny and smile, walked back over to me and we made our
way to his car.

Tension filled the car as soon as we go it in. I know josh was upset with me,
but it wasn't his choice who I'm friends. But I didn't like him being upset
with me, I couldn't stand when we weren't talking.

" Josh, talk to me..." I pleaded, I couldn't stand this. I hate it when he's
upset, and I hate It more when its because of me.

He didn't say anything, just started the car.

" Josh please." I reached over and placed my hand atop his on the steering
wheel.

" What the hell am I supposed to say, Huh? I swear...why do you even talk to
him." he wouldn't even look at me, the whole time he was staring at the parking
lot.

" Whether you believe it or not, he was there for me once so I just cant
forget him. Plus I like him." then " and you know josh, you cant pick my friends.
It's not fair if you pick and choose who I talk to."

" I know but why him? You know how I feel about him." he finally looked at
me. He wasn't angry anymore, I was glad.

" ...you just don't know him like I do, he's different than what you think." I
should have so kept my mouth shut. Funny how he can change moods so quick.

" Yea mark, CAUSE I DIDN'T FUCK HIM! Do you know how hard it is for me? To
see you talking to the guy that you choose over me?" he turned in his seat
facing me.

" While you were off playing playboy every time we went out, he was the only
one that gave a shit about me so forgive me if I think he's my friend!"

" WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!? oh so your still fucking around
with him." then. "And guess what, your not the only one" what? Did he just...

" So you haven't only been with me, since we started?" I was on the brink of
tears, they were right there waiting for the damn to break. Waiting for Josh.
I was looking out the window, hoping that he wasn't for real.

" Yea so..." he said it like it was no big deal, Like he didn't care how I
felt. And those words were it, all I could take.

"I cant believe you...and you..." It was getting harder, every word I spoke
tears came down the and sobbing got harder.

"...I thought-"

" Whatever." I grabbed my bag and got out of the car. A walk would help clear
my head, and I wouldn't have to be with him. Even though the ride home would'
ve been short, I couldn't be with him after what he said. I couldn't cry in
front of him, I hated it. It was so weak, I was so weak. And I always did.

"Where the hell are you going. HEY! I'm talking to you." he got out of the
car and started following me.

" Josh... Don't." I said without looking back I couldn't let him see the tears
staining my face,  so I kept my eyes focused on whatever I was on sight.
Anybody just not him.

" No, we need to talk about this." he grabbed me by the shoulder.

I cant believe this, he's been with other people and HE wants to talk. What
the hell could he possibly say to make me feel a little better.

" I was angry I didn't mean it. Just get back on the car."

" I just need to clear my head..." stop crying, stop crying. I repeated over
and over in my head. But it was still happening. Falling from my brown eyes,
staining my skin. I love him...

" Babe?.... Are you-" he moved to put his arms around me but something in me
screamed out NO. I shrugged his arms off an away, I didn't want him to touch me.
" DUDE!?

" Don't touch me, seems you have other people for that."

" Can we drop this?" he moved and put his arms back around me, this time I
let him. I wanted to forget everything and focus on him. Not to what he just
told me, but I couldn't. these arms had been around someone else. Someone that
wasn't me.

" Why am I not enough for you?" I said barely above a whisper still trying so
hard not to break down completely.

" Its not that...its just. I don't know ok." he doesn't know? It's bull, I
love him and he cant keep his fucking dick In his pants. " look, lets just go
back the car."

" So that means that night, a year ago." I paused, it was a lot harder to get
out. "you were serious, about..." say no, please for me. Just say no...

" Ye-" he didn't finish , correction I wouldn't let him finish. As soon as I
heard the beginnings of an yes. I broke away From the comforting lie that was
josh, I could've stayed in his arms and forgotten. I could've turned my
head, again. But not today.

I walk back towards the school, not looking back. I could hear him calling me
but I already knew what he was going to say. He blocked me off, standing in
front of me with his hands on my shoulders. Trying to look me in the eye. But I
 turned away. Not this time, I wasn't gonna fall for " its just me and you, I
love you." not today.

" Baby listen to me, I love you and only you. The other people don't count.
It just you and me-" every time, every time we argue the same thing all the
time. He knew that I was always going to go back to him. He knew, he knew exactly
what to say and how far he could go. He knew me too well.

" SHUT UP! EVERY TIME!" the crying got harder, it was hard to breathe, let
alone speak, " every time josh, I always go back to you believe every fucking
word you say. But I cant-"

" Mark what's goin' on?" Johnny came to my side, waiting for a reason, any
reason at all to hit josh.

" Why don't you mind your own fucking business!"

" This is my business! Why is he crying dip shit? what the fuck did you do."

" He's fine, mark come on." Josh reached out for me, not only with his hand
but the way his eyes...

"...." I looked to Johnny.

" No..." his eyes watered. " your coming with me, we can talk about this!" the
hurt look in his eyes, almost made me want to go. But I couldn't, I couldn't
fall back into that comfortable lie. Not again. He never admitted it before,
would always pass it off as a joke and we would leave it at that.

" We'll talk tomorrow. But right now...I cant." I walked up to him and pulled
him into a hug, to let him know nothing was going to happen. I didn't want to
hurt josh, not like this.

He pulled me tighter, " I'll never let go babe, never. You cant leave me."
and he did just that, he held on. Even when I told him I wouldn't, he held on.

" Tomorrow. I just need to clear my head."

" Pinky promise." he smiled even though I knew it hurt for him to let me go.
We intertwined our pinkies.

" Pinky promise" I smiled back.

" Not to butt in but I think you two just made up. so see ya around." he
walked back to wherever he cam from then stopped. " oh and josh, next time you
fuck up remember he wont always go back to you." he smiled at josh then winked at
me. " just some friendly advice.

" In your dreams fucker!" he smiled back. Weird, did they just get along in
there own weird frat boy sorta way.

" Yea how'd you know."  then. "later bitches." and with that he walked away,
leaving me and josh to our problem.

" So about that homework." always the nympho.

" Well josh, I'm still kinda tired so I don't know if I can." he smiled, he
knew I was joking. And even if I was tired he could wake me up.

" I guess all this will go to waste then." he grabbed his crotch.

" Whatever, lets go."

We walked back to the car. And finally got off school grounds, lucky for him
it was after school so no one saw our little thing. Well  Johnny, but I knew I
could trust him.

The entire car ride he had a boner. I started rubbing it through his jeans,
teasing him.
He would look over and smile, `the smile that said you are so gonna get yours'
.  when we finally got home I smiled and said,

" Josh I am soo tired, I think ill see you tomorrow."

" Haha, I don't think so, you don't have to be awake." but how could I go
from ` we need time apart' to ` lets go fuck like rabbits'. was this me
running from our problems, was it my way of falling for this lie again.

 We made it to his room and he immediately started, his kisses...the way his
hands would explore my entire body, yet he already knows it. The way he always
seems to try and give me more of him. The passion in the kiss so high that its
blinding. Just knowing that he's the one kissing me, that I'm kissing josh.
Makes it incredible, makes it perfect.

As we kissed we somehow found ways to remove our shirts and made our way to
his bed.
He pushed me down to his bed and softly fell on top of me taking my wrists
and putting them on either side of me. He moved from my mouth to my neck.
Sucking, licking and biting. Knowing that they would leave marks, letting everybody
know I was his. He moved form my neck to my ear and did the same, while
grinding our cocks together through our jeans. Josh was breathing hard and I was
moaning loudly, happy that his parents both worked well into the night.

He let go of my wrists and lifted his body up, undoing my zipper while I did
his. When we pulled off our pants and boxers and threw them to the floor,
making a pile that we would figure out in the morning. His cock never looses that `
first time' look of it. every time I see it, its still the best to me.

" You want it?" he asked before he laid down on top of me and started making
out again, this time grinding our bare cocks together. Causing me to whimper
and moan into the kiss. With one hand he reached over to his night stand and
pulled out a bottle of lube, but it was empty. I broke away from the kiss and
laughed. We really did have a lot of sex.

" Don't worry, your still gonna get fucked." when we have sex his voice took
on a completely different sound. It made me want to touch him, have him. He
could talk me into anything and he knew it.

" Spare." he pulled out a new bottle. And wasted no time opening it. While he
did that I opened my legs knowing what he was going to do. He slid between my
open legs and took my cock in his mouth,  he put his lubed up fingers in my
ass and started a slow in and out rhythm. I love him. He was so beautiful and
not just because he was making me feel incredible. But because it was josh. My
josh.

He pulled off my cock and took his fingers from my ass, he moved back up and
we shared a long kiss. A kiss that defined me and josh. Loving and passionate
while loving and sensual. Not rushed, not to slow. Just right.

" Do you trust me." he whispered in my ear.

" with my life."

I felt his cock at my rear, pushing its way in. I loved the feeling, knowing
that it was
Josh. knowing that we would be one. He starts slow at first, never breaking
eye contact with me. Slowly going in and out with his intense gaze upon me,
then he speeds up and his breathing starts to go a little faster and he lowers
his head to my neck.

I know he's getting close, cause every time he does he starts to jack my
dick. He stops for a while and jerks me off, so I can catch up. He loves when we
come together.

When I'm finally breathing hard and making the noise he starts again, not
slow.

" I fuckin love you...cum with me babe-" he lowered his head to mine and our
lips met, he stuck his tongue in my mouth and slammed into me hard while jerking
me to olbivion. I felt his cum shooting in me and I went off.

After we both shot, he feel down on me to catch his breath, while l licked
and sucked his neck. " I love you josh."

" I love you too."
Josh rolled to my side and we went to our sleeping positions. Me on my side
while josh is spooning me from behind.

I was already tired from our thing earlier. But I couldn't sleep, I didn't
want to sleep. I wanted to stay awake and enjoy his arms.

" Babe you still awake."

" Yea."

" About today-"

" Lets just forget that..."

" I know but, I have to tell you something." we just had awesome sex and we
were all nice and snuggly, but something always has to break this. Nothing gold
can stay, its too perfect and has to be destroyed.

" I'm sorry." dear god, josh apologized. Its not the first time but he rarely
does it. No matter how wrong it is, so when he does do it I know he means it.
And it makes me feel better.

" I shouldn't have said what I said. I trust you but...it's still hard for me
to see you with Johnny. I don't like to think about other people being with
you.' even though my back was to him, I knew he was crying. Well he doesn't cry
he just gets misty eyed.

" And the way he was on you.... So I'm sorry. You can be friends with who
ever."

" I love you josh" I grabbed his hand and put it on my heart. " you are the
only guy that my heart beats for, nobody else just you. And you're the only guy
I trust my body with."

" I know babe, I know..." then " if you ever left me I'd die. I cant live
without you. I know it sounds corny but its true. Id die before I hurt you."

" I promise I wont. Me and you are forever, I'll never leave you. No matter
what."

" And I promise I'll never let go." he griped me tighter and kissed my cheek.

" Its just you and me, nobody else matters." I am way emotional and I was
almost crying again. Why was he speaking like something terrible was going to
happen.

We didn't talk anymore after that, and eventually we fell asleep. With josh
behind me, hand on my heart. He'll always have my heart, as long as I live. We
didn't talk about the other people that he's been with and we didn't talk
about us. Though I wonder if we did, would it really have made a difference now.
Those were good memories but memories are all they are. We had a good start
but I don't know what happened.

A/N
 YAY. chapter 3. well I want to thank everyone again who e-mailed me. and if
you liked this chapter you should do it again. If you like this one checkout
my other story called anybody just not him, its in the high school section as
well. you'll get him in the end.
well I hope you enjoyed it, see ya in chapter 3.

School starting again *emo tear..drop..drop....dropping...fell* so I will
try my best to get the chapters out as fast as possible.