Date: Mon, 15 Aug 2005 22:19:11 EDT From: NEL114@aol.com Subject: gay male highschool he was my best friend 5 Here's chapter 5 FINALLY, I enjoyed writing it so tell me what you think about it. I would say all that legal stuff, but I cant stop you from reading it so what' s the point? If you don't like it, don't read it. This story is from my head so that means its not ENTIRELY true. Onto the story YAY!! He was my best friend 5: new beginnings WHAT THE FUCK!!? GET OFF MY BOYFRIEND!!" Josh yelled right before he... Josh. I cant sleep because I need him with me. I cant sleep because he's always on my mind. "is he ok" I think " did I hurt Josh?". I need him yet I want to get away from him. Josh... Now he's here. He didn't come after me when I left, he didn't say "I'll stop". Johnny. He's always there for me. Comforts me when Josh breaks me. He's holding me no, comforting me. I'm sleeping. Johnny... I sat up as soon as I heard him. Johnny was still asleep, his arm still around me still sleeping. I guess he's a hard sleeper, he didn't even open his eyes when Josh busted in here yelling. Why did he have to show up now? " Josh what do you want?" I was mad at him, if anything I should be the one yelling. " SO YOUR NOT GONNA FUCKING ANSWER ME?!" he yelled. Why is he yelling. I just woke up from one of the best naps I have ever had, And he yells. I haven't done anything wrong. Why the hell is acting like he's the one being cheated on? " would you stop yelling I can hear you just fine!" I know that look, the way he's clenching and unclenching his jaw. His fists balled up tightly to his sides. He was ready to fight, ready to kill. But why? I don't understand. Why is he so mad? " why the hell are you so fucking angry?! I'm mad at you remember!" who the hell does he think he is. I'm beyond angry at him now. He fucking bursts into my house un announced throwing a temper tantrum and he's the one with the attitude. Johnnies arm tightens around me, he is still asleep. "Oh, maybe I can come back later and then walk in on him fucking you! Or better yet, you'll be sucking his cock again!" that hurt. It was a long time ago. his face was going red, his eyes... so that's why he's angry. He thinks I...with Johnny? I have to admit he really is hot, but he's not Josh. If only he could see, he's the only one for me. But I couldn't let him talk to me like that. " SO BESTFRIEND! WAS HE GOOD?!! You said you were but...dammit-" he lowered his head his face turning even more red. Silent tears tracing his face and dropping to the floor. I want to be mad at him. I want to give him a taste of his own medicine. But Josh is crying, cause of something I did. I cant do this to him, I love him too much to just sit here... in the arms of another man- whats wrong with me? How could I do that to him. " I didn't think you would do this to me. Especially with him. You promised." " what's going on-" Johnny yawned, pulling me closer. " was he good? What you always fucking dreamed of!!" his voice was flat. I couldn't look him in the eye. I was in some other guys arms. Even though we didn' t have sex...I hurt him. " dude what are you talking about?" Johnny sat up looked me in the eye with confusion. Then he smiled and said. " He thinks we." he laughed " dude we didn't do anything. I was just helping him sleep-" " SLEEP!! HELPING HIM SLEEP!!" " dude we didn't do anything, I'm serious." he had this really serious look. It would've been funny seeing him being so mature. But not now, I couldn't laugh. " you didn't do anything, so that's why he hasn't been answering the phone right? And that's why your half naked in the same bed as him." he laughed darkly. " why are you in bed with MY boyfriend." " dude calm down. Were friends, I wouldn't lie to a friend." Johnny was sincere, but josh... " DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO! AND GET OFF OF HIM!!" he looked at Johnnies arm around me, shook his head side to side closing his eyes while his fists tightened up even more at his side. "how can you get mad at him when you fuck different people weekly? He comes to me crying ALL the time about how much he loves you." Johnny pulled me toward him, my back to his chest. " you don't know how lucky you are, I WISH he looked at me the way he does you." as he spoke his voice was shaky and angry. I thought he was over me, I thought we were friends? Did I hurt him too? " he loves you more than life itself, he would never cheat on you. And you know that." Johnny yelled. " Mind your own GODDAMNED BUSINESS!" he moved into the room leaving the doorway. " I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! Your fucking lying. You fucked him, you fucked him... " his voce a whisper, his eyes glistened over from falling tears. " Josh-" if he didn't calm down now, I'm afraid of what might happen. I moved forward taking my back from his front But Johnny still kept his arm on me. " WHAT!!" he yelled. "don't yell at me." I said softly. I don't like it when he yells at me. I'm not going to cry this time. I wont. " I love you Josh,. I wouldn't do-" " don't! I thought you, you of all people. Would stand by me." I wanted to hold him, kiss his cheek and tell him I didn't and never would. But something in me, I don't know what. But I snapped. " why are you acting like I've hurt you so bad. You fucking cheat on me all the time, how do you think I feel." he looked him in the eye I wasn't going to back down. I stood up and walked to him. " you call me your boyfriend ONLY when you think some guy wants me ,But other than that I'm your standby slash best friend." Johnny moved off the bed, a few feet behind me. " don't you fucking talk to me like that!" he wasn't yelling but you could tell he was angry. I would have been scared of it weren't Josh but it was. He wouldn't hurt me. " you need to hear it josh. I wont be on stand by forever, I'm tired. Tired of being second to EVERYTHING in your life. I love you but I wont wait forever." I grabbed his hands in mine. He was shaking. " so your going to leave me then? Your going to fucking run away with that dumbass!" he said pointing to Johnny. " Josh, I didn't say that!" I was getting frustrated. He always thinks he's right. " don't talk to me like that! YOU FUCKIN SLUT! YOU CANT-WONT LEAVE ME...I WONT LET YOU!" I couldn't breath, something was blocking my airway. It was josh he-he was choking me...Johnny was punching him in the stomach screaming for him to let me go. But he wouldn't. tears were rolling down both of our faces. I brought my hands to his arms trying to break away. Our eyes locked the entire time. I tried saying his name but it barley came out. I felt light headed, everything was dark... " oh my god. I'm sorry. Baby I am so sorry-" " GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!" I couldn't see his face but I knew it was Johnny, something in his voice. " can you hear me? Come on, come back to me." I was lying in some ones lap, I assumed Josh's. I felt weird, like high. And then there was world war 3 going on right above me. " WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! YOU SAY YOU FUCKING LOVE HIM! YOU COULDVE KILLED HIM!" Johnny yelled. He shouldn't be mad at him, I mean I knew he was mad but I got in his face anyway. So its my fault. " I didn't do it on purpose. I swear, I don't know what happened..." he sounded like a hurt child, confused. " I`m ok." they both stopped arguing. I was in Johnnies lap. It looked like Josh got beat up pretty bad. Its all my fault. I hurt them both. " does it hurt bad?" Johnny said while stroking my hair. " I think you should leave" he said to Josh in an obviously pissed tone. " No I'm staying with him. I need to talk to him." he was concerned, he does care for me. " I, I, I. Is that all you think about? You are so fucking selfish!" " It's ok Johnny. Me and him need to talk-" Josh didn't do it, he didn't mean to. He was just angry. He said he was sorry. " if you think I'm leaving you alone with him, your crazy." " my throat hurts can you bring me some water?" that was a low blow, but he would leave otherwise. " I swear to god, you lay a hand on him and your ass is mine." Johnny said while pointing his finger at him. " I wont, I promise Mark. I promise." Josh lifted me to my feet. Johnny headed for the stairs. Josh lifted his hand, I flinched. His eyes started to water, " baby I promise, I-I don't know what came over me. I would never hit you. You know that right?" was this what I have been waiting for. He was back. My josh was back. " but you did josh, I love you so fucking much." I started. " You've put me through so much. you've hurt me more than anyone ever has." I started to cry and he immediately wrapped his arms around me. " I don't know what to say. I love you, you know that but..." no please we were just starting to make up. We weren't even having sex. don't say but, don't mess this up. " make up your mind then. If you want me then you would stop." I spoke into his shirt. " I cant help it Mark, And you know it." is he serious. " you know I like girls and you know how I feel about being tied down. I just cant right now." what is his problem. " why aren't I enough for you? Would it really be that bad to be with me." I cried. " no, no of course not. It's just..." I cant be with him. Not like this, I'm done waiting. This was the last straw. I never thought he would hit me. I never thought he would do a lot of things. But I love him so I'm supposed to stick by him right. We were almost there, he apologized. He promised... " you cant do that!" I cried. " you cant not know! I need to know josh." " ill try, I swear to god for you I will." " don't lie to me josh. Not again. I don't want to feel that again." " I'll die before I ever hurt you like that again. I promise." he pleaded. " I 'll work on my temper too. Just take me back babe, take me back." " how do I know I can trust you this time? What if this was like the others. Empty promises. I know he means well, but can I take another hit, another girl another, " were just friends", can I? It's almost to good to be true. He tightened his arms around me, " because I mean it this time. I swear to you." he sounds sincere. But he did the other times too. Hopefully this will be different. " don't you trust me?" I was his. No matter what he did, I would always belong to josh. He has my heart. " with my life." then. " Josh?" " yea?" I hugged him tighter. " it'll work this time wont it? Were ok right." I asked. " yea, I think were going be ok . Just you and me, nobody else. Just you-." he kissed me " and me. No more tears, ok." he wiped away my tears with his hand. Well this wouldn't be a make up if we didn't have sex. But it wont be sex, it 'll be love. Our love. We lost our way but were on the right track again. I believe him this time, I trust him. It wont happen again... it cant, I know I cant handle something like this again. " I wont hurt you ever again. I love you too much for that." making out in the middle of my room. We were both hard but I didn't seem right to do that just yet. I liked this much more. Kissing my- " so does this mean you're my boyfriend now?" I had to know, are we best friends or is he for real this time. Is Josh finally my boyfriend. " your mine and mine alone. Your not my boyfriend." he paused. " you're my soul mate, were forever babe, forever." I leaned my head more into his chest. " I've waited so long for that." The door burst open for the second time today. " I`ll hold you to that. Hurt him and die." the door closed. " I WONT!" he yelled back. "Are you hungry?" he asked stroking my back. "yea." it was worth it, everything. " My treat. JOHNNY!!!" Johnny opened the door again, he looked sad but he smiled anyway. I wonder what's in store for us. Will this last? I hope so. Johnny... . Chapter 5, so did you like the ending ^_^ . Feedback is what keeps a writer going so if you like it PLEASE aim or e-mail me Nel114@aol.com . If you like this one Check out my other story anybody just not him, in the high school section. SARAH RULES!! And I'm thinking about a third story what do you say. Sorry about the delay, I was going for a chapter a week. school is keeping me busy But, I still have study hall ^_^.