Date: Sat, 2 Aug 2003 05:06:06 -0700 (PDT) From: "[iso-8859-1] Ray Morales" Subject: Heartache 11 This story continues where Heartache 10 left off in the story 'Heartache' in /High School/. Thanks to all who emailed. I am inspired by the support via your emails. Thanks. I can't believe it; we are now at Chapter 11. I know I could never have made it this far without all your support and comments. Note: This story is fiction and is by no means depictive of the life of any person, place or thing. It contains no penetrative sexual acts between males YET and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your area. Read at your own risk. All names are made up and any similarities are just dumb luck. Heartache 11 By Fjord The clever bastard tricked me. It was fucking brilliant of him. He still wanted me too. I had been had. The smile started at the corner of my mouth and pretty soon I was smiling from ear to ear. Of course, I hid my ever-widening smile from Jake. I wanted to turn and grab Jake and embrace him and strangle him to death just then. But I didn't. He got me good. I was going to milk my whole minute's worth. So, I waited. "Eric, dude, did you hear me?" I refused to reply. In my mind, I was screaming the words "I love you Jake... I love you so much, you fuck..." again and again. My slight headache was forgotten. "Hey, it was just a joke, Eric. I mean, you should've seen your face..." Jake said to my back. "I'll never ever let you go, okay baby. I love you, my pretty baby. God, I can't believe I'm talking like a moron. My pretty baby, Eric. Come on... Look at me... Please... I want to see your big sexy brown eyes. I want to just stare and drown in your eyes. Look, Eric... If you don't turn around and look at me, I'm gonna baby talk you to death." Jake sounded so cute when he pleaded with me. But I held on and I held on by the tip of my fingernails. "Did you know that your sexy hair drives me crazy? Every time it hid your eyes, I wanted to part them just to see those beautiful eyes. All those times we were like inches apart and I was so terrified that my hands would go against my will and do just that. But you know what drives me even crazier... It's when you blow the hair that's blocking your eyes. My heart stopped beating every time you do that. You're so damn sexy. You take my breath away." Jake paused. He was probably reliving the moment like me. I remembered those times when I automatically blew the hair that fell over my eyes when Jake was with me; he always turned and looked away. I had thought it was my breath and had always tried to remember not to do that in front of Jake after having just eaten. I was so glad to know it was something else, something better. I began to feel Jake's warmth. I guessed he scooted closer to me after I turned away from him. He still didn't touch me though. He was still undecided about my reaction and I wanted to keep it that way. I was also still feeling really guilty about what I had said and done to him at the park. I felt so ashamed. I didn't deserve him yet. I had to make it up to him. I needed to atone for what I had done to him. In my happiness that Jake still wanted me, even after all that I had said to hurt him, uneasiness began to fester inside my heart and my headache throbbed quietly in the background. "I love the way you looked straight in my eyes when we talk. When you talk with anyone else you do that too. I used to get so jealous. I love it when we have our eye staring fights. I forgot to breathe sometimes." Jake paused and got closer. He was just several thousandth of an inch away. I could feel him. "I had so many fantasies about you and me. It always started with you and me kissing and then my hand will grab my dick and imagined it was your hand jerking me off. And then I would see myself licking your nipples until you were squirming and then I would lick right down to your balls." I could tell you that I wasn't affected by Jake's babbling but then I would be lying. My dick rose to the occasion but I still had enough strength to hold on and not turn towards him and just hug him to death or more like, screw him to oblivion. I was ready for him to just take me and fuck me there and then but I was really a control freak. So, I just counted from 100 backwards. "100, 99, 98, 97...." "You would then rub my wet butt hole. Gosh, that didn't sound very nice... And then I would just moan and then plant your dick inside me and move it in and out so slowly I could feel your..." At that, I just snapped. I was so turned on that I turned towards him. His eyes were closed but when he sensed my movement they opened instantly. His eyes locked into mine and a grin lighted up his face. "You can stop now, pervert. I love you." I said to him softly. We embraced each other in my bed and that was when my eyes started leaking heavily. I was sobbing like a baby and tears flowed out of my eyes like a mini river. Jake just held me tight and kept telling me how much he loved me. That made me cry even more. I didn't feel worthy enough to love him. "I hurt you so much, man. I hurt you so bad. I am sorry. I want to take it all back. I didn't mean any of it. I can't live without you. I don't care about Seattle, or Trey or Cynthia... I just want you. I am just a total loser. I almost lost you..." I held him so tight and never wanted to let go. "Eric, don't cry... You can never lose me. I am just so into you... like you wouldn't believe. I will never let you go. Never. I love you so much." Jake was crying with me. "I tried so hard to be perfect for you. I'm sorry I was not virgin when I met you. I can't change that." He paused to wipe his tears away before holding me again. "About Trey, please understand that I won't regret that. In a way, my experiences and feelings for him made it so much clearer to me that you were the one for me. Cynthia too... I wanted to be straight but you... Nothing compares to you. I am so incredibly lucky that you wanted me too. God, I wanted to hide everything from you. I was so scared of losing you if you knew about all the other stuff I had done. I knew you would finally find out but I just didn't know what to do..." "You could have told me, you know..." I said, "...but Jake whatever you did, I would have overreacted anyway. I mean, I couldn't control my feelings about you. I get so wrapped up in stupid stuff that I just lose it. Maybe, we should get to know each other better before we get too serious. I mean like I was thinking of living with you already," I paused. "You think that's crazy?" Jake didn't reply for a second and then raised his eyes towards mine. "You think that too, huh? We're not even eighteen yet. Shit, we don't even have jobs. How are we gonna support ourselves? Where're we gonna live? I mean, I can't even find my underwear sometimes." "Jake," I said to stop his ramblings and paused for effect, "...I can find your underwears for you." Jake grinned and said, "Stop that... You're gonna make me laugh... I'm trying... hehehe... to be... hehehe... fuckin'... hehehehehe... serious... you fuck..." Both of us were on our backs laughing and giggling by the end of his sentence. Jake let out a long sigh after our little laughing session and said, "Seriously... hehehehe..." And we started our laughing fit again until I had to slap him on the stomach, fairly close to his crotch. As our laughter gradually stopped, we found ourselves looking at my room's bare ceiling and with our shoulders touching. I felt a bit dizzy with my throbbing headache but I felt contented. "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Jake broke the silence. "But I agree with you, we have to go slow and get to know each other more." "Okay... I think that would be a good plan." "Are we still gonna do the other stuff?" Jake said with his eyebrows raised suggestively. "If you want to..." I replied, feeling a bit self-conscious. "Can I give you a blowjob, now? You're gonna love it, I promise." Jake asked excitedly. "Now?" My head was throbbing quietly. "Yeah... Now!" Jake was insistent. "Dunno... I'm not sure I'm ready." I didn't feel that horny at the moment. "Okay... I thought with all these stuff cleared you were like ready..." "Sorry... You're really a horn dog, you know." I replied with a grin. "I probably will have to keep practicing on the dildo. Although it's way bigger than yours but it will do for now." "You really have a dildo?" I asked quickly. I was excited by his confession until I saw him smiling at me. God, I was such an idiot, I thought, as I covered my face in shame. He got me again. I was going to have to even things out soon. "You're so easy..." "Fuck you..." I said into my hands. "But you're not ready yet, remember?" He was really pushing his luck. I had planned my attack well in advance and as the pillow hit his beautiful face I felt so good. I just loved him to death. He didn't respond and as I removed the pillow from his face he had his lips puckered up as if waiting to be kissed. Jake was so adorable. I kissed him on those adorable lips. ****** We just lay there, in bed, holding each other, doing nothing sexual, being comfortable in the peaceful sounds of our breathing, knowing that we were together again. My slight headache was almost gone. I didn't remember for how long we were like that but I remembered being interrupted by the sound of the front door being opened downstairs and my mother's voice calling out my name. Both of us looked at each other's wide-open eyes and mouths. "Fuck! I gotta hide." Jake said to me desperately. The most obvious place for him to hide was under my bed. Not much space down there but desperate people needed desperate measures. Jake slid or rather I shoved him under the bed just in time. The door opened and I quickly sat down on my bed. My Mom and I looked at each other. I couldn't look away. "Eric! What happened to you? The school called me and wanted to know why you were absent? Are you okay? Are you sick? Derek told me you went to school earlier. Did anybody hurt you on the way?" My Mom was in her element. Questions that were never going to be answered came in rapid-fire succession. I could only wait until all the bullets are out. "I'm okay, Mom. I just feel a bit down." "You're still wearing last night's clothes, aren't you?" Mom the detective began to take over. "Yeah, I didn't shower." Talk about stating the obvious, I thought. I smell, period. My Mom went straight to my side and placed her hand on my forehead. I didn't flinch when her hand went near my secret head bump. "You're not having a fever. What's going on with you?" Mom the doctor took over from the detective. "I'm okay, Mom. I just have a headache, that's all. I'm sorry I didn't call and tell you but I just needed some rest." "I'm going to take you to Dr. Remus and you can't say no." My Mom knew how much I hated seeing doctors. Anyway, I just nodded. "Get ready. Just comb that hair and change those clothes. I need to call my boss to get a time-off until lunchtime at least. Be downstairs in five. Got it." My mother the general took over. "Yeah... Yeah... I got it." My Mom gave me a piercing look and left to go downstairs. I got up, closed the door and then started to take off my clothes when I heard some humming music coming from under the bed. "Shhhh...," I said softly, not wanting to be too loud. Jake was peeking under the bed as I was undressing. He was having a good time watching me undress, providing his own music for his private strip show. He gasped when my pants went down, as I was not wearing anything underneath. I walked self-consciously to get fresh clothes. My dick was getting a bit stirred up from his attention. I dressed in a blue T-shirt and blue jeans. I wore CK boxers this time. Jake was clapping silently under the bed showing his appreciation. We didn't talk but I looked at him in the eyes from time to time. I was ready to go downstairs when my Mom called from downstairs. "Eric! Let's go." "Okay, Mom. In a sec..." I pulled Mr. Loverboy up from under the bed and kissed him on the lips. No tongue. I hadn't brushed my teeth since dinner last night. I turned and left him standing there as I closed the bedroom door. I went downstairs and Mom was at the front door holding it open. She looked at me impatiently. I looked downwards feeling the heat of her stare and went past her. A friendly slap on my left butt made thing all right again though, along with the words, "Move along, heartbreaker." ***** While Jake was at home (probably jacking off alone), I was lying on the examination bed of a certain Dr. Remus. I saw him only a few times in my relatively short lifetime and those were not proud moments. My parents had told me that once I had tried to bite off his fingers when he was examining my tongue. I would have been very young then because I couldn't remember anything. I tried to look at his fingers to find if I had left any permanent scars but I couldn't focus enough. I felt a bit dizzy when I tried to concentrate too much. "So, Eric, I heard you have a headache." "I have a slight headache." He examined my head and found the bump on my head. I told him about my embarrassing trip that caused it. He was unconcerned, maybe because it was such a small insignificant bump. After that it was tests and more tests. I couldn't wait to get it over with. Dr. Remus said that I might be having a minor concussion and advised me to take the day off and the next day too. He gave me some pills prescription for my headache and wanted me to see him at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Mom drove me home and on the way grabbed me a McD's lunch set. She kept on harping on the fact that I didn't tell her that I fell on the floor and got a lump on the head as a result. I had this lecture so many times before. A lot of times my parents never knew the injuries, the pain and the headaches I had had because I had wanted to handle everything myself, not wanting to burden them. She dropped me off at the house, as she had to get back to work. I promised her not to do any strenuous things when all I could think of was doing naughty stuff with Jake. The mind of a teenager never failed to amaze. ***** I went up to my room and to my disappointment Jake wasn't there. Just in case, I looked under the bed but no one down there. I sighed to myself and went to the window and peeked at Jake's. Curtain closed, no show. Where did that cutie pie go to, I asked myself. He was probably in deep sleep, after such a long sleepless night. I needed some sleep too as I was feeling really low in energy together with the slight headache. So, no sex for today. Such a waste of time as today was a no school and no parents day for us. Such a waste. We could be screwing each other in the kitchen while having lunch and nobody would know. I rearranged my package as it was getting too tight down there due to a clear image of me sitting on Jake's dick while we were having a conversation about football at the kitchen table (or was it Jake on my dick?). Suddenly, I realized where Jake might be. It was lunchtime. I ran downstairs and went to the kitchen and grabbed the lunch Mom bought for me. I walked towards Jake's house and entered their kitchen. Jake wasn't there. My face fell and I sat down at their kitchen table dejected. If he was upstairs sleeping, I didn't want to disturb him. But I just missed him so much. Maybe if I just sat next to his bed and kept quiet and look at my baby sleep.... ***** I felt my shoulder being shaken and heard somebody frantically calling my name. My grogginess prevented me from shouting, "Get the fuck away from me. Can't you see I'm sleeping?" My heavy eyelids parted and I saw bright lights for a second before slowly my eyes adjusted to the surroundings. I was on Jake's kitchen floor looking upwards at a worried pair of bright blue eyes. "Eric, what happened?" The eyes became part of a beautiful face that I knew. It belonged to Jake's Mom, Mrs. A. I tried to get up fast and I almost blacked out. She helped me on my feet and made me sit on a chair. I saw a toppled chair next to where I had been on the floor just now. "I'm sorry. I must have fainted." I said as I scanned the floor for blood. Nothing. Thank goodness, I thought. "You've got blood in your nose." Mrs. A said to me and gently held my face as she examined me further. I continued looking around the kitchen aimlessly and noticed my lunch set scattered next to the toppled chair. I must had gone out like a light. I couldn't remember anything. My head was throbbing but in a constant dull rhythm. "Look at me, Eric." I looked at her and was instantly reminded of Jake's blue eyes again. I smiled. She didn't. "You have to lie down. Come. Hang on to me. You can lie down on the couch in the living room." ***** I was lying on the comfortable sofa with an icepack on my forehead when I heard footsteps going down the stairs. There was a noise of someone doing something at the kitchen at the same time. "Mom, is that you?" Jake said as he went across the living room towards the kitchen. I just lay there looking at him. He didn't even notice me, his pretty baby. Mrs. A appeared in the kitchen doorway to the living room and looked at Jake and then at me and then at Jake again. Jake followed her eyes and looked at me surprised. "What were you doing upstairs? Did you know that Eric was lying unconscious on the kitchen floor just now?" His mother said to him accusingly. "I... I was sleeping. I didn't know Eric was down here..." Jake answered while looking at me questioningly. It was surreal to say the least. "You didn't go to school?" His Mom asked angrily and then paused. Jake was standing there like a statue looking straight at me. "Never mind, I'll deal with you later, buster." Jake didn't even hear her as he went and knelt down next to me. "Eric was unconscious when I came home. I just managed to wake him up," Mrs. A continued. "The chair was on the floor and Eric was just lying there..." She stopped and quickly went into the kitchen. I knew she didn't want me to see her cry. She seemed really upset. She probably thought that I was dead when she saw me on the floor. "Hey, you." I said to Jake softly. "What happened? I thought you were with your Mom." "I dunno... She dropped me off and left for work. I looked for you in the kitchen but then I just blacked out I guess. You Mom woke me up. I was on the floor passed out. Must be my headache." "I thought you were just pretending..." "Actually, I do have a headache. I fell hard on my head last night..." "Shit! Why didn't you tell me?" "It was nothing. I just tripped and fell. That's all..." I said, embarrassed. "Nothing my ass? I better tell Mom... You went to Dr. Remus this morning, right?" "Yeah..." I replied. We had the same family doctor. He turned and went to the kitchen. "Mom! Mom! We got to bring him to Dr. Remus. Eric went there with his Mom this morning. Seems he fell on his head last night." Jake dragged his red-eyed Mom by the elbow into the living room. "Okay, Jake. You can let me go now. Bring Eric to the car. Take him there slowly. We don't want him to faint again, okay. Bring along the icepack. I have to call his Mom." Mrs. A said to him and went straight to the phone. We were waiting in the car when Jake's Mom came out of the front door. She almost forgot but then turned around to lock the door after Jake shouted to remind her. All I could say was that everything was like a dream. I felt light and dizzy. I was in the backseat with my head on Jake's lap. Why the hell did I pass out? What would my mother say? I hated being such a burden to my parents or to anyone else. I saw Jake's Mom looking quizzically at Jake and me. Fuck, my head is on Jake's lap, dangerously near his crotch, I thought. Jake playing with my hair didn't help. But I couldn't sit up without getting the blackness surrounding my vision. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I tried to think of Jake and then I found myself getting sleepy. Jake told me to keep awake when he saw me drifting and I just smiled at him stupidly. When we got to Dr. Remus' I had lost the track of time. ***** Dr. Remus did some tests on me again but now with a worried look on his face. His thick moustache was twitching nervously. I told him again about how I fell on my head last night and added the incident in Jake's kitchen. The words 'John L. Remus M.D.' was on his nametag. I wondered what the 'L' was for. He said that I might have aggravated the earlier head injury with the second fainting spell. He said he needed to do further tests that might include a CAT scan. The possibility of a blood clot in my brain could not be ruled out and he needed to get the true picture. He also said that there was a possibility of an emergency surgery if the blood clot was life threatening. I listened without any real understanding of the situation. I didn't need surgery because I was feeling okay, just a bit dizzy and slightly nauseous. It would soon pass. Dr. Remus went to inform Mrs. A and Jake about my condition while I was left on the bed with a curly-haired black nurse waiting on me. The friendly nurse, who said her name was Pauline, kept me company and we chatted about the weather and stuff. She did most of the talking and I just tried to listen. Funny, I found it really hard to listen and I had always thought of myself as a very good listener. She was talking but all I could hear was "blah... blah... blah..." I heard some familiar voices outside the room and knew my Mom and Dad had arrived. The more the merrier, I thought. My parents walked into the examination room. Jake and his Mom were behind them. My eyes searched for the worry in their faces and found aplenty. I felt really bad for creating such a fuss with my overly dramatic fainting spells. Jake looked really pale and unsteady. Apparently, his Mom was holding him up. "Mom... Dad... Jake... Mrs. A," I said as they approached, "...I'm sorry for all this trouble. Don't worry 'bout me. I'm okay. Its just a headache." My parents looked at each other and Dad put his right arm around my Mom. She was crying while Dad was trying to control his own emotions. Jake was crying too, with his head on his Mom's right shoulder. Gosh, people would think that I was dying, I thought. I just needed some rest and an icepack on my head. Everything would be fine. It was just a stupid headache. Surgery? What surgery? I tried to smile but found it hard to do so. My eyes were really heavy. I wanted to sleep... As I closed my eyes, I could hear Pauline calling my name and telling me to open my eyes. Jake was shouting my name. My Mom was screaming, telling me not to leave her. I wanted to open my eyes and tell them that I just wanted some rest because I was pretty tired but the enveloping darkness was so inviting, so tempting, and so easy to just give in to. Hehehe... I wasn't going to die. I just wanted to sleep you know, get some shut eye. I was Eric the super boy. What's all the fuss about? I wasn't going to die. I had so much to look forward to, especially my beautiful Jake. I would be back... And then it was just darkness so deep and so sweet... To be continued??? Darkness, so terrifying is your bed of black roses... Should I end it here? You can email me at fyiord@yahoo.com anytime. By the way, if you're interested to read one short story of mine that was not posted on Nifty, you should visit the website of fellow Nifty writer Jasin Chau's cool website http://aznprodigy2.tripod.com The title of my story is Jazz and it's in the 'Stories' section. I think it's a bit sillysweet(if there's such a definition) but tell me what you think anyway.