Date: Wed, 26 Feb 2003 05:47:55 -0800 (PST)
From: fyiord@yahoo.com
Subject: Heartache 02

This is a continuation of my first story 'Heartache' posted on \High
School\. I saw some mistakes with the first posting and decided to tweak it
up a bit in the spelling and phrases. Basically, nothing changed. Anyway,
I've added 'Heartache' (The Original) to this posting and changed the title
to Heartache 01. Heartache 02 begins at the end of Heartache 01. If you've
read 'Heartache' (The Original) you can go straight to Heartache 02 or if
you are curious.. Oh what the hell.. do whatever you want.. :) Thanks to
all who took the time to email me with their comments and encouragement.

This story is fiction and is by no means depictive of the life of any
person, place or thing. It contains no penetrative sexual acts between
males YET and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your
area. Read at your own risk and enjoy. Comments are welcomed and would be
very much appreciated. ENJOY!

************
Heartache 01
************
By Fjord


I was sitting under the shade of a big tree. Don't ask me whether its oak
or birch or whatever, because I wouldn't know. So there I was, alone. No,
I'm not a loner. I just wanted some time alone. I had a dry twig in my left
hand and was absent mindedly breaking it into small pieces with my right
hand, as my eyes looked towards the park, past it and beyond.

I needed time for myself. I needed to be true to myself. Even if for an
hour or so, it helped. In front of my friends I have to be somebody
else. In front of my family I must not be who I am. It was easy because I
had an IQ of 152. Not too bad. Enough brains to be vigilant of my
actions. Under the tree I can be myself with God as my witness and friend.

"Hey, Eric!" A familiar voice combined with a painful slap on my right
shoulder startled me.

I knew who it was. I didn't even look at the person causing the dull pain
on my right shoulder. He sat next to me on my left side. The guilty hand
started to rub that dull throbbing pain on my shoulder. I tried to shrug it
off but a finger poked me in my left ribcage.

"Fuck, leave me alone", I said with a forced grin knowing it was a futile
request.

"Come on man, you're supposed to be at your house today. Remember our
romantic dinner date... ". Jake is 17 yrs old, the same age as me and we
have been best friends and neighbors since we were 14.  I could feel his
eyes looking at me. Jake was always the flirt. He was the main reason I was
here. I wanted to get away from him but he always knew where to find
me. You see he's just too close to the truth sometimes. With his long blond
hair and handsome face and nice slim body (no bulky muscles) and cute smile
and I can go on and on, he's my perfect date. Now you get my drift. He's
just my best friend though and I think I got no chance in this lifetime.

"You miss me... How cute?" I said while looking towards him with my puppy
dog eyes expression. I used this reply often as possible with Jake when the
opportunity arises. This was also my standard answer if my mom asked me
where I had been or my teachers asked me why I was late for class etc.,
that's my trademark and patented reply. It always worked to my advantage
with the adults as I am pretty good looking and cute as hell to boot. I
turned my head to look forward again.

His hand stopped rubbing my shoulder. He just left it there. I knew exactly
what his reply would be. He would go in front of me to look into my eyes
and say with a mock romantic tone that he did miss me and that he loved
me. Then I would counter his remark with something witty and everybody
would laugh and then we would do our special handshake and everything is
safe again. Safe for me, that is. This well rehearsed scene had been
repeated many times during our friendship. It brought me pain every time it
happened. The sort of pain in the heart that is so exquisitely heavenly and
beautiful. I knew he never meant it. It started as a stupid joke the first
time he found me alone in my room two weeks after his family moved in the
house next door to mine.

But the reply did not come. I actually wanted him to say it. It was stupid
but it's better than nothing. The heartache that followed is bearable since
I'm used to it. I really wanted him to look me in the eyes and say his
usual reply.

"I can't do this anymore," he said in a whisper, still sitting next to
me. His right hand never left my right shoulder. I was
intrigued. Sometimes, he did come up with an ingenious reply. I decided to
play along. My eyes were still fixed to the distance.

"Yeah, we should stop meeting like this. People will know of our secret
love." My heartbeat increased as I said the words. It's MY secret love.

There was a pause. I was worried. It was a long pause.

I looked to my left at Jake, his right hand still on my right shoulder. He
was gripping me hard on that shoulder. I saw the lone tear rolling down his
right cheek. I did not understand. I did not want to understand. I refused
to see the possibilities. I will not succumb. I will not... I can't. He
laid his head on my left shoulder. The twig broke in my left hand. Still, I
kept my mouth shut.

"Its too hard... too painful." Jake whispered. "I can't do it anymore."

I turned my body to face him and then held his head with my hands on his
smooth cheeks. I could not stop myself. He's beautiful. I wanted him.

"What's wrong Jake?' I realized that I was a total jerk. My Jake was having
some kind of personal problem and here I was thinking that he might have
some feelings for me.

He slowly wrapped his arms around my neck and started to cry quietly. His
head was pressed on my left shoulder with his cheek resting on my neck. My
arms found their way around his body, rubbing his back gently trying to
comfort him. Its funny, we've never been this close before. The closest
body contacts we've had were just quick hugs during special occasions.

We stayed holding each other for quite a while. Every time I tried to let
go, he just held me closer. I did not want it to end. At last I heard a
sigh and he finally released his hold on me.

We were now sitting cross-legged, close together facing each other. I put
my left hand on his right knee and asked him, "Want to tell me?' We were
looking at each other in the eyes. He looked downwards. He looked at me
again.

"Eric... there is this pain in my heart.. and I can't get rid of it. I
tried to.. but it too hard. Too painful. It goes through my heart..." A
pause (I held my breath). "...every time I'm with you.. every time I see
you.. every time I touch you..'

Our eyes never left each other.

I started to speak but he stopped me with a stern look and continued, "I
don't care anymore.. you always cut me off with your funny replies. I had
to play along for so long... but not anymore.. You never got it did you. I
told you I loved you and how I missed you so many times. And I meant it
every time. You just twisted it into a joke and made sure everything's back
to normal again... Fuck normal! I can't stand this pain anymore...", he
said as he pressed his right hand on the area just below his left
breast. His tears were flowing freely now. His left hand held my right hand
tight. I could not breathe for a moment.

My eyes never left his. My thoughts were flying in all directions. All the
what ifs came out from my nimble brain. What if he is doing his best
leg-pull ever on me? What if he's got a heart disease? What if this is just
a dream? What if this park is turned into a housing estate? What if I hurt
him? What if he's got a secret video cam taping all this for $10,000 on
AFV? What if he's telling the truth? What if both of us profess our love
for each other and he decided later to leave me? I can't do this. I tried
to think of a way out for him as well as for me.

"No pain no gain..." I said lamely.

"Stop it Eric!" He said with anger in his eyes. "Don't do this to me. I
don't care anymore.. Whatever you do it will still hurt me. At least tell
me you understand my feelings for you. I love you and I want you to know
this. No more lies.", he said with steel in his voice.

I became angry. What did he want me to do? Just let go and tell him that I
understand and reciprocate his love. I loved him but I was also angry with
him for putting me in a vulnerable position. If I told him the truth and
found out he lied I would die.

"What the fuck do you want me to do?" I nearly shouted. Tears began flowing
from my eyes as I looked at him. "How am I supposed to reply to that? Why
now? Why the hell are you telling me now?' He just looked at me
dumbfounded. There's no stopping me now. I also didn't care anymore. "Why
can't you just let things be? Why can't we be just best friends? Why do you
make things so complicated?..." I paused and whispered, "Why can't you just
let me love you from afar? Why....". I realized that I had said it. Finally
I told him that I loved him.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!", I said as I put my hands to my face and covered
it. Warm tears soaked my hands. "Please don't tell me this is just a
joke.", I said pleadingly. "Please... I don't want to lose you.. I love you
Jake".

I felt his hands on my waist and he pulled me up to stand and face him. He
took my hands away from my face and our eyes met again. We were still
crying. He brought his warm lips close to mine and kissed me. It was
electric. It was our first time. It was my first time. He started to kiss
the tears from my wet cheeks. I was terrified and stunned at the same
time. And then he embraced me tightly nuzzling and kissing my neck. His
hands rubbed my back and my neck gently. Our chest and groin were pressed
hard together. I found my hands roaming on his neck, his hair, his back and
his thighs. I kissed his cheeks, his lips, his ears, and his neck. I wanted
to kiss my fears away. It was still there lurking at the back of my mind. I
desperately wanted this to be true.

After a while, we just held each other with our heads resting on each
other's shoulders. Finally, he broke our embrace and held my face on the
cheeks and looked at me straight in the eyes.

"Please believe me Eric.. this is no joke. I really love you. I loved you
since we first met. Remember the day my family moved in next door to
you. You came over to help and I dropped the expensive vase in front of
you. I dropped it when I saw you. You took my breath away. You were
beautiful then.. and now." Jake smiled as he said this.

Yes. I remembered. I remembered the day I found out that heaven sent me an
angel with blond hair and cute smiles and cute everything. Even cuter when
his mom pulled his ear in anger with Jake crying out in pain and still
managing to slip me a mischievous wink. I loved him.

"I love you too Jake. I fell in love with you the moment I set my eyes on
you that day. And yes, I remembered the vase and the red ears.' I said this
grinning at him. He gave me his cutest smile.

Come on... lets sit down", I said and took his right hand with my left and
brought him to sit next to me. We got our fingers intertwined and I laid my
head on his shoulder.

"We have so much to talk about." I said to him. He nodded and so we sat
there just talking and expressing our love for each other.




*********** Heartache 2 *********** By Fjord



"Hey Eric..."

Someone was trying to wake me up. I wondered who. The person had a death
wish, I thought.

"Eric... wake up!"

This person was really asking for it. Jake and I had just confessed of our
love for each other and now this shithead was trying to wake me
up...... Oh..shit!. It can't be just a dream... I opened my eyes. Bright
lights. Please, please let it be that I passed out while holding my baby
Jake too tightly at the park. Yeah. It must have been because of all the
excitement. Lack of oxygen probably. I must still be at the park and Jake
was desperately trying to revive me.

"He's awake! Hehehe..." Sounds like Jake. The evil Jake.

"Hey.. Get up and get ready for our date man. FD2 is waiting... Ali Larter
is waiting for us.. and our romantic dinner date after that.." Definitely
Jake. Always flirting.

As my eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness I realized why it was so
blindingly bright. A Maglite was targeted inches away from my face.

"Jake! Dude! Switch it off or.. or I'll bust your balls." It was not an
empty threat as his balls were pretty close to my left knee. He was on my
bed with one knee between my legs (no.. not on my privates) leaning over
me. I told you he was a flirt.

He must have realized his family jewels were just above my left knee as he
retreated to safety and switched off the Maglite.

"Hey.. sorry man.. just wanted to wake you up.." I saw his grinning
face. Jake, my secret love. Looking as pretty and handsome and sexy as
always.

"Ok.. Ok.. I'm awake now. Get out and wait downstairs will you?" I wanted
some time to think and calm myself a bit because I definitely just had a
stupid.. stupid dream of me and Jake loving each other. It was a very
realistic dream though. I sighed deeply.

Jake together with his silly (but oh so cute) grin had gone downstairs. I
just sat there looking at the closed bedroom door. Jake and I were supposed
to go see Final Destination 2 tonight at 7pm. I looked at my alarm
clock. 6:30 pm.

"The things I do for love", I whispered quietly to myself. The truth...I
did not want to see FD2 with no Devon Sawa but I also wanted to be with
Jake. That was why I quickly slipped into my navy blue T-shirt and my black
jeans. Yes.. I was napping in my boxers and no.. I did not have a boner. I
put on my black leather jacket and my black leather boots, and admired my
image in the body length mirror on my bedroom wall. I looked like a typical
middle class white kid trying to look like a tough kid from the Bronx. Jet
black silky hair hanging over my big brown eyes....

"Hey pretty white boy.. stop lusting after your body. Lets fly outta
here.. we're gonna be late." Jake startled me out of my wits. He was
standing right next to me, lips just inches from my left ear. It got me a
bit excited of course.

"Fuck! Don't you ever knock? You're gonna give me a heart
attack.. geez...."" I looked at him in the mirror. He was looking at me
too. I could feel his warm breath against my neck. I felt a bit dizzy but
kept my eyes on his all the time.

"Come on man", he said suddenly, as he grabbed me by the arm and led me
downstairs.

Mom and Dad had already gone out for dinner. I had told them of our Friday
night movie and dinner plan yesterday.

Jake drove us to the cinema. The Odeon.  Odd, the only thing he said in the
car during the ride was, "Buckle up." He must be mad that we're late, I
thought. Oh, well, I had read Ebert's review and he gave it a thumb down.

When we arrived at the Odeon it was 5 minutes past seven. He parked his car
a little further past the cinema entrance. He was really quiet.

"Are you mad at me Jake?" I asked. "I'm sorry I overslept."

"Huh?" He looked at me as if he had just realized I existed.

"I said, are you mad at me?"

"Eric.. You're my baby.. Why should I be mad at you?" He said this as he
winked at me. Oh my.. The flirt was back. His cute smile made my heart flip
and his blue eyes looked straight at me. Our eyes were locked together.

"Then why were you so quiet just now?"

"Oh.. I was just thinking.."

"What about?"

"About how beautiful you looked tonight.." He looked deep into my eyes. I
was drowning.. I needed to save myself.

I steadied myself and quickly said,"Yeah.. my name is Errrica and I am
yourrr sex slave forrr the night. Come on.. lets go see Ali Larter in her
garters..". I slapped Jake in the left arm hard and got out of the car and
ran towards the cinema laughing.

"I'll get you for that, dickhead". Jake got out, locked the car and ran
after me.

Of course, he got me and gave me a very hard slap on my right shoulder. I
just winced and bore the pain.

"You late you pays.." He casually said to me as we were buying the
ticket. I late I paid.

The movie had already started when we came in. Not that many people at the
back where we sat. Jake's hand was brushing against mine all the time
during the movie and this made me tingle all over. I found it hard to
concentrate on the movie.

*****

"Eric.. wake up.." Jake whispered. I must have dozed off as my head had
ended up resting on Jake's right shoulder. "The movie's over.. let's get
some coffee.. you need it".

"Shit.. why didn't you wake me up earlier?" I said as I rubbed my eyes
awake.

"Let's go.. coffee's on me." Jake pulled me up. He did not answer my
question.

The Odeon's coffee did help. I was wide-awake at 9:45 pm on a Friday night
with my beautiful Jake right beside me.

And for our romantic dinner we went to McDs. I guessed we were hungry as we
spent most of the time just munching through our burgers and fries, washing
them down with icy cold cokes.

"You wanna go home loverboy?" Jake asked after his third burp. He was
shameless whenever we were alone together. He was pretty decent with other
people around though.

"No, I wanna stay here and listen to your burps.."

He chuckled and both of us got up and went outside. There was a slight
breeze and it was quite chilly outside. Jake wore a dark blue long sleeve
turtle neck shirt and light brown Dockers long pants. I could see his
nipples. I imagined my warm wet tongue on his left nipple.

"Hey loverboy.. hurry up will you." He said as he put his hand on my waist.

"Man.. stop it will you? People would think we're a couple...." I said
nervously as we passed by some people along the way to his car.

"We ARE a couple............of pretty white boys.." Jake's reply tickled my
funny bones and totally cracked me up. It was not that funny but then I was
really nervous after he put his hand on my waist.

"You kill me man.. " I said in between laughs as I barely managed to stand
behind him. I placed my right hand on his neck and my head on his left
shoulder for support.

Gradually, I realized what I was doing. His neck felt so hot in my hand and
that made me really hot.. if you know what I mean. I looked up and saw him
looking at me intensely.

I quickly pushed him away and said," You are funny, man.. really funny." My
right hand felt so hot that I wanted to hide it. He must have felt it too
as he was absently rubbing the back of his neck where I probably had burnt
a permanent hand print. My face was also burning red thanks to my pretty
white skin.

"Yeah.. yeah.. lets go home pretty red boy.." He had a pained look as he
said this. Strange.

We got to the car, got in and he drove us home within the speed limit. We
talked a bit about the movie and concluded that it was a waste.

*****

Jake parked at the side of the road in front of my house. My parents had
not come back yet. Jake's parents were away for the weekend so their house
next door was practically dark.

"Can you stay over at my place tonight?" Jake asked me after he switched
off the ignition. He was not looking at me.

"Okay.. I'll get my stuff first.."

"No need.. you can use my stuff.. just leave your parents a message on the
fridge." He was still in the car as I was getting out.

It was not the first time I stayed over at his place when his parents were
away. A bright electric bulb illuminated over my head. I got so excited
with my brilliant idea that I quickly unlocked the front door, ran past the
living room straight into the kitchen and grabbed a pen and quickly wrote
on a Postit note that I was staying over at Jake' house, stuck it on the
fridge, got out through the kitchen door and then ran towards Jake's house
backdoor (some people would pause here:) got the hidden key under the door
mat, unlocked the door, ran into the living room and stood next to the
lights switch and waited.

He was fumbling with his keys again. My beautiful Jake was not perfect. He
had to try all of his keys as he had never bothered to remember which one
was which. I knew him that well. It gave me some time to catch my breath.

As he got in, his hand went on reflex to switch on the lights. That was
when I placed my hands on his. At the same time the lights went on. He made
a strangled sound, jumped backwards and fell onto his backside on the
floor. His eyes were wide with fear and surprise. My knees just turned into
water as I slid down the wall and collapsed helplessly in laughter. Tears
were running down my cheeks.

"Fuck! You stupid shithead! You could have killed me!" He shouted at me in
anger as he got up, grabbed my jacket collar and pulled me up. I was still
so weak with laughter that I had to lean against his body. I was still
shaking with laughter as I looked at him. His eyes were staring hard at
me. "Don't you ever do that again!", he said quietly. That was strange. I
thought he was going to put me in a head lock or something of that nature.

"Aww.. come on Jake.. that was precious man.." I giggled. "That look on
your face was unbelievable.. I wish I had a camera..". Suddenly I realized
that my hands were clasped around his neck and his were on my waist. I
stopped giggling. He was looking deep into my eyes.

My hands felt hot. It seemed that any contact with his bare skin produced
heat. He put his arms around my back and pulled me closer. I did not and
could not move my hands. We were like this for a few minutes..in silence.

"What are we doing Jake..?" I finally asked him nervously and softly. Our
eyes had never left each other.

He did not reply, instead both his hands went down to my buttocks and
stayed there. He just stared at me as I felt his hands on my ass. Then he
moved his hands under my shirt and touched my bare skin at the back. His
right hand went under my jeans and boxers and touched my ass. His left hand
went further up my back. I whimpered and held his head between my hands. I
saw hunger and desire in his blue eyes. As his fingers slid in between my
ass cheeks, I gasped loudly. He brought his lips next to mine and I felt
their electric touch on mine for the first time. I closed my eyes in
ecstasy. I kissed his sweet succulent lips hard. Both of us were groaning
softly. We were grinding our bodies against each other. I felt his hardness
rubbing against mine. I went mad with desire as his hand began kneading my
bum. We opened our mouths and our tongues met at last. Then it
happened. Our teeth clashed. Ouch! Two very wet and hot mouths separated.

We looked at each other as if we had just met. Our eyes wet with tears.

My hands were still on his head. His hands were still on my ass and
back. We were both crying silently as we nestled our heads on each other's
neck. We were crying for our innocent and beautiful friendship, forever
lost. Things will never be the same again.

"I love you Jake.. Please say you love me too..." I whispered in his ear.

"I love you Eric.. I love you so much..." He answered softly. I could feel
his tears still running down my neck.

We wrapped our arms around each other and held our bodies close
together. It felt so good that I wanted it to last forever but it had to
end. We finally separated and Jake took my left hand with his right and
pulled me upstairs towards his bedroom. Both of us were looking downwards
at the carpeted floor. Too shy to look at each other. Not knowing or daring
to think what will happen next.

To be continued..

I really hope that you like the story. I promise that its not a dream
anymore... Tell me if you like it or hate it or you want more sex :b
.. fyiord@yahoo.com.