Thank you for all your comments on the last chapter, you have all encouraged me to carry on with the story. I still need feedback, so I know that you still like the story.
>>From Chapter 2
After school I went to Jo's and talked more about Shaun, some other guys and mostly about my sexuality.
JoAnn spoke about telling my mum again, I shrugged it off. I'm not really sure if I should. I get on alright with my mum and don't want to spoil that by telling her something that she doesn't really need to know for now.
I have been thinking a lot about telling
my mum. Since JoAnn brought it up yesterday it's all that is going through my
mind. Sometimes I wish that people didn't expect you to be straight. I suppose
they are just wishful thinking, but another part of me thinks that parents,
especially mine, may be ashamed when they first find out they have a gay child,
but will never show it.
I don't think that my mum will take the news badly, but it could be a shock to her. I don't know why it should be a shock because I have never had a girlfriend and have never been interested in girls.
"Josh! Come on get ready for school!" I hated it when mum always shouted like that. I was only in the next room.
I really didn't want to go into school today because I wanted to think things through. I thought about telling her I was ill, but firstly she never fell for it and secondly school is sometimes better than staying at home alone. At least I have Jo to talk things over with at school.
When I got to school, as usual Shaun was waiting outside the school. That was weird; he looked at me and gave a brief smile then turned back around. He has never noticed me outside of class before and yesterday was the first time he noticed me at all! I just gave a nod and found Jo waiting for me by the car park.
After school me and Jo went to the park and sat on the grass. It was a boiling sunny day, almost no clouds or wind. There were some guys sitting on the benches about 5 meters from us where we were sat and some guys skating in the skate park. I sat and watched them for a while looking at their bodies glistening with sweat in the hot sunshine. We didn't talk much today, just sat and relaxed for a while.
I had another business studies lesson today. I was nervous about going in
because I didn't know what to say to him, I might give away too much. I was also
excited because this time I might get some more time to speak to Shaun.
When I got there Jo could see the excitement on my face.
"I guess you have business studies today?" she said with a raised eyebrow. She must have realised what the smile on my face was for.
I made my existing smile bigger and carried on walking, grabbing her arm so that she would follow me.
I had a free period first, and then break. After break I had business studies and was free for the rest of the day. I had about 2 hours left before business studies so I decided to read a book in the library while I waited. When I got there it was empty. This was unusual for any time of the day. Maybe they weren't opening the library today, but surely they would have locked it if it was closed, wouldn't they? Well, whatever it was I decided to get a book and sit outside on the bench reading while the year above me played some sports on the field.
I didn't meet up with Jo at break time today; she said she needed to finish her homework for something, so I stayed on the bench by the field reading my book. It wasn't that interesting, but I had already got half way through and wanted to find out what happens in the end of it. I have enough free periods after business studies to finish it off and maybe I'll get another one. Shit! I'm 5 minutes late. I had been waiting for this for the last 2 hours and finally comes I forget about it.
When I got there Shaun's books were out on the table. I took the seat next to him and what I saw on the open page in his book surprised me a lot.
'But, he can't be, can he? Look at him, he he just can't!' I thought, hoping that what I saw was right, but not really taking it in. I closed the book so that Shaun wouldn't notice that I had seen what was in his book.
Maybe he wanted me to see it, that's why it was left open. No he couldn't have wanted me to see it; it would have said that he loved me instead of Kelly. That just doesn't make sense.
"Hi Josh," he took me by surprise. Oh my god oh my god! He doesn't have a clue that I know his deepest secret. 'Got to keep calm got to keep calm', I kept telling myself. It was no use...
"But, you don't look it; you're a very sporty person. Sporty people can't be gay, can they?" I tried, I really did try but I couldn't get the thoughts out of my head and before I could stop myself I blurted everything out. Shaun went red as soon as I had finished. He looked like as if he was going to cry, damn I was going to cry. If this is true then all my dreams have come true but just one problem. He doesn't love me, he loves Kelly.
That's chapter 3. Hope you enjoyed it.
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