Thank you for all your comments on the last chapter, you have all encouraged me to carry on with the story. I still need feedback, so I know that you still like the story.
This chapter is from Shaun's point of view and goes back to a day or two before the first chapter.
I have now set up a Yahoo Group that you can go on to chat to other readers, post messages in the message board and read new chapters before they appear on Nifty.
>>From Chapter 4
I had completely forgotten to let Jo know before I went home. The phone started ringing and I answered it.
"Hey Josh. Where were you today? I was waiting for ages after school."
"Sorry, I was really tired after business studies. You know what Mr. Rogers is like. I just forgot to tell you before I went, Sorry"
"Hmmm, I suppose I'll forgive you this once! Anyway, I'll let you get on because me and mum are cooking tonight, see you tomorrow, bye hun"
"Ok, see you later."
The last couple of weeks have been really
difficult for me. I realised that I was in love with Kelly and didn't know what
to do about it and I didn't feel that I could talk to anyone about it.
I kept going over everything in my head all the time and each time I just put it down to being a teenage phase and it would go away. Unfortunately, as I thought about things a lot more I realised that I was in love with Kelly for a long time and I didn't realise it.
I kept telling myself `NO! You're not gay. Gay people don't play sports and work out as much I do and anyway I'm not camp'. That still didn't stop me from thinking about Kelly all the time.
I really needed to talk to someone about it, but I knew that everyone would be against me, especially my dad, who used to play football professionally. He is really proud of me for keeping myself in shape and for getting on the school football team. If we have guests around he will be sure to tell them I am on the football team.
My mum always used to say to me that no matter what she will always love me and I can always talk to her anytime. I knew my mum would understand and will talk it through with me.
I knew that my dad would be away for two days just before the new school term started because he went on holiday with all his old football friends every year, so I decided that will be the time I could my mum.
The evening that dad went on his trip, I sat next to my mum watching the TV. I went over what I was going to say in my head over and over. I couldn't do it. What f she makes me tell my dad? What if she reacts badly? What if she throws me out of house?.
My mum must have seen the look on my face because she switched the TV off and turned around to face me. She was looking deeply into my eyes for a few seconds then finally spoke up.
"Is there something on your mind that you would like to talk about?" she said calmly. I closed my eyes and a tar dropped down my cheek. Oh no I'm going to have to tell her now. I can't lie my way out of it now she knows there is something really bothering me.
"Shaun? Come on it will help to talk about it." I decided that I should stick to my plans and so I would tell her.
"Mum, I've got something to tell you. I've been thinking things over and I'm really scared and don't know what to do." My voice started to get a little shaky. I waited a few moments to get my breath back and continued.
"Mum, I think I'm in love with Kelly. Mum, I'm gay" I said that I couldn't stop the tears that were now flowing down my cheeks. My mum hugged me.
"Shaun, thank you for telling me. I know how hard it must have been for you to go through this on your own. I want you to know that I will always love you no matter what you do or who you are." I knew mum would say that. I was so happy, I didn't have to hide away anymore and be on my own. I could talk everything over with my mum. Just by telling my mum this, I felt a lot closer to her that I have been in years.
"I'm not exactly happy with the idea", she continue, "because I know what some people in this world are like and they will give you a hard time. But, that doesn't mean that I have a problem with you being gay." My mum always knows what to say and exactly the right time. Of course I already knew what she had just told me, but it meant a lot that she still said it.
She asked me some questions like if Kelly and I had ever done anything together and who if I have told anyone that I am gay. Obviously the answer to both those questions was `no'. Now it was my turn to ask some questions.
"Mum, what about dad? What will he think?" I asked cautiously.
"I think it's probably best if we don't tell him for now. Sooner or later he will have to know, but for now all that matters is that at least you can now talk to one of us." I knew that mum actually meant that she thinks my dad won't be happy with the situation, but I just left it at that.
The new school term starts today. I was nervous, because there would be little kids running around and also it was my first day in the sixth form.
Nothing much happened on the first day, we just went over the course requirements. The second day of school was a bit more interesting.
I had chosen business studies because I was told that having three subjects for A-Level would mean I have a much better chance of getting into University and as I had only chosen two subjects I wanted to choose another one. Everyone said that business studies wasn't all that hard so I decided on that.
When I got in there was anyone there so I thought I had business studies on my own. About two minutes later Josh walked in and seemed to be considering sitting next to me. He must have decided to sit next to me as that's what he done. I didn't mind because I would be easier for Mr. Rogers to teach us.
I hadn't really noticed Josh before. I don't know why because he was kind of cute; Maybe it was because he liked to keep himself to himself. Well, whatever it was I wanted to get to know him a bit better, it would be a bit stupid for us to be the only two pupils in the class and not speak to one another.
I started speaking to him and seemed a bit shy at first. Just as we started into a conversation Mr. Rogers interrupted us and started the lesson.
Yesterday everyone managed to get out lessons at least five minutes early because sixth form is voluntary so I had arranged to meet my friends by the football field five minutes before the lesson ended. Mr. Rogers doesn't seem to take notice of this unwritten sixth form rule and kept us until the bell went off. I rushed off to meet my friends by the football field. As it turned out, only Kelly turned up, so we spent break time talking about what its like being in sixth form and what we done over the holidays.
Nothing much happened for the rest of the day, but when I got home I was really excited about spending so much time with Kelly and I started writing in my sketch book about Kelly. I could hear my dad coming up the stairs so I hid the pad in my business studies folder and went down stairs.
The next business studies class I had, I needed the toilet as soon as I had unpacked my folder. When I came back I saw the top of the folder open and realised that if he had looked then he would have a heart and Kelly's name by the side of it.
There was a chance that he didn't even see it.
"But, you don't look it; you're a very sporty person. Sporty people can't be gay, can they?" he said almost as if he was thinking out loud.
It scared me that someone else now knows about my `secret' and I just ran. I went to the football field and sat down on the grass and thought about what to do. I decided I should go back and talk to him so at the end of the lesson I went there to pack my things away and waited outside for him.
I must have frightened him because he jumped a mile when he saw me standing there.
I asked if we could go somewhere to talk and that's what we done. I was trying to be open with him and when said that he agreed with me about Kelly being hot, I was shocked. How weird is that? Out of all the people to find out it had to be another gay guy! Oh well at least I was lucky this time.
He told me that he had an electronics class, but I knew he didn't because some of the guys that I play ball with took electronics and I met them in the common room after our talk. He is obviously hiding something.
When I got home I talked my mum about everything and she agreed that I was stupid to write down what I did and that I was lucky this time that the person who found out was actually gay himself.
I now have a Yahoo!Group that I will be posting
the chapters on before they are posted on Nifty. There is a message board and a
chat room on there as well.
Click Here (http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/highschool_love_story/)
Give me feedback and suggestions...good or bad.