Howard and I returned from summer camp with a few new ideas to add to our relationship. We often talked about Jerry, and the brief interaction we had with him. Having him relate to both of us sexually and his introduction of Vaseline to our favorite pastime, were two points of revelation to us. Most importantly, however, was an enlightenment both of us shared that it was our love for each other which was so precious and the sex was merely an expression of that love ... not the primary reason for our love.

The summer began with Howard and myself being good friends enjoying being together. We didn't understand our desire to be with each other, we just knew we wanted to be together. We knew there was a very special bond forming between us, but it wasn't until that wonderful day in June, when we went for our first swim in the pond ... in the nude ... that we were given the opportunity to expand our appreciation of that bond. From that day forward the bond grew stronger and we became closer with each day. The realization of my love for Howard seemed to arrive suddenly, but I realized that it had been developing and growing for many months... since that fateful day in the high school office.

July and August provided us many opportunities to expand upon and enhance our developing relationship, and we didn't let too many slip by us. We took advantage by spending a lot of our time swimming, fishing, camping and just generally hanging around together and, of course, having many sexual encounters. We bought ourselves a big jar of Vaseline to take advantage of this new found level of masturbation enjoyment. During this time we were having sex two or three times every day. On a few occasions, only to prove we could do it, we would cum five or six times in one day. Only infrequently were we not together for our climax and had to rely on our fantasies, in the loneliness of our own beds, for our closeness.

In August, my parents took a six day trip to Michigan, leaving me to take care of myself. I asked if Howard could come over to stay with me while they were gone. They called his Mother and everyone agreed that it would be all right, since we were together all the time anyway. My heart was beating rapidly with the anticipation of having Howard staying with me for five nights. As good as that was going to be, I couldn't help but wish that they had decided to go for two weeks instead of only one.

I had twin beds in my room. Howard came over the night before they left, to spend the night. We each slept in our own beds, of course, and wore pajamas, but that didn't keep Howard from coming to my bed and sucking me off, and my returning the favor, before we settled down to sleep.

The next five nights, however, we shared a bed each night and forgot to wear the pajamas. It was so nice having his nude body pressing close to mine each night as we dropped off to sleep ... and even better to wake up with him close by my side. It probably doesn't need to be said that those five days quickly escalated to an orgy of the grandest proportions. We jacked each other off using Vaseline ... we cuddled, embraced, kissed ... we sucked each other off ... we rubbed our nude bodies together ... we showered together ... we sat in the evening listening to music on the radio, cuddling and kissing ... we cooked our meals together. Those five days were marvelous. They created wonderful memories which would last a lifetime and a closeness which was hard to believe. If there was a point in time for Howard and me which truly defined our love, those five days in August would have to be it. At that time I didn't think anything could detract from our love for each other.

As this wonderful summer was coming to a close, Howard and I continued to visit the pond, Midnight Hollow, Lone Pine Ridge and, for quickies, under the bridge. It was a fantastic summer. We had more sex than I ever thought was possible. I found I was in love with someone more than I would ever have believed. My outlook for life was brighter than ever before ... I was looking forward, with wonderful anticipation, to my life with Howard as we were approaching our second year of high school. We were going to be Sophomores, but that did not seem nearly as important to us as just being together as often as possible.

As we began our second year at Middletown High, Howard and I found ourselves very comfortable with each other and our relationship. In Southern Indiana, in 1949 , homosexuality was considered to be the result of mental illness and very taboo. Howard and I seemed to rationalize that we were not really homosexuals; we loved each other and enjoyed having sex together, but we could never be homosexual. Those people didn't have anything to do with us. Our lives were developing from this paradoxical foundation, with both of us choosing to ignore any reference to being homosexual.

The summer had been wonderful, but it was good to be back in school again. I found renewed fascination showering with the boys after P.E.class ... with all of those nice cocks and cute butts. I would vigorously shampoo my hair and peek between my fingers as I scrubbed and had to be very careful not to inspire an erection as I observed the variety which surrounded me. That was very difficult when Howard was in the shower at the same time.

We continued to see each other almost every afternoon. We would usually get off the bus at the bridge and things always seemed to progress to a sexual encounter of some type ... either by hand or mouth. On the weekends we would go hiking, fishing and/or camping. As long as the weather was fairly warm, these days would find us in the nude at least part of the time. We both enjoyed being naked when we were together. As the autumn turned into winter and the snow began to fall, our nudity was reserved for the camping trips when we slept together.

Again that year we were avid football fans, never missing a game ... at home or away. The away games were especially inviting as that involved our taking a school bus to and from the game. Howard and I always sat together and it was always very dark and sleepy on the ride home which permitted us to put our coats in our laps and fondle each other. About the third or fourth game, for some reason there wasn't enough room on the student bus for the ride home, so Howard and I were put on the team bus. There were few empty seats and no two together. As I was looking for a seat, I found myself being pulled into one next to Eddy Meyers ... Howard sat just one seat forward and across the aisle. The bus was filled with the smell of sweat and menthol. It smelled like a locker room and I had found new interest in the locker room that year.

Eddy Meyers was now a senior and a football star. That night he had scored three touchdowns. The girls were all "ga ga" over him. He was the stud of the school.

As the bus rumbled toward Middletown, the lights of the occasional cars would briefly illuminate the darkness. There was a chill in the air. Eddy asked if I would like to put his letter jacket over my legs to keep warm. It was not long before I felt his hand making its way under the jacket, into my crotch and start rubbing me gently. My penis began growing with excitement and anticipation, remembering the story Howard told me about Eddy ... but I wasn't quite sure what he was going to do with me on the bus.

He managed to unzip my pants and work my hard cock out of my shorts ... and massaged it and played with it all the way to Middletown. Howard knew exactly what was going on and smiled and winked at me several times during the trip. As we were rolling into town Eddy let go of my excited cock ... it was oozing drops of precum ... I put it away in preparation for our arrival at the school. When we got off the bus, Eddy asked Howard and me if he could give us a ride home ... we accepted.

We were all seated in the front seat of Eddy's car ... I was next to Eddy and Howard at the window. As we left town, Eddy let his hand wander into my crotch again and begin rubbing my cock through my jeans. Howard took my hand in his and squeezed gently, quite aware of what was about to happen. Two or three miles out of town Eddy pulled off onto a side road and into a wooded area. Without a word he turned off the motor, leaned toward me, unzipped my pants and pulled them down. Without saying anything he bent down and took my erect penis into his mouth and sucked on it for a minute or so ... suddenly he sat up and reached over to feel Howard's cock, unzip his pants and quickly pull them down. He suggested that we might be more comfortable if we took off our pants and got in the back seat. Both Howard and I climbed into the back seat and slipped our jeans off. Howard reached over and fondled my penis as we sat there anxiously awaiting our expectations to be realized.

Eddy climbed into the back, kneeling on the floor between Howard and myself and facing us. He lowered his face into Howard's lap and began sucking on his cock ... at the same time his right hand was busy massaging mine. Howard was holding and squeezing my hand as he came closer and closer to his climax. As he came he gave my hand a firm squeeze and exclaimed "That was good! I liked that." Eddy, without hesitation, moved over and began sucking on me. Howard continued to hold my hand as Eddy slowly but surely brought me to a climax and sucked every last drop of cum from my pulsating body. Eddy climbed out of the car and jacked himself off as Howard and I got dressed.

The three of us got together a number of times that year, usually after school or a game, but occasionally we would drive outside of town at lunchtime for a quick suck session, as we called them. Eddy showed me the unique nature of Howard's relationship to me; I didn't feel the deep feeling for Eddy as I did for Howard. I liked Eddy and enjoyed having sex with him, but I loved Howard and it was his presence which enhanced my sex with Eddy. On two occasions Eddy and I had sex without Howard being there and it wasn't the same. I found that there is a big difference between having sex with someone ... and having sex with someone with whom you are deeply in love. I definitely preferred the latter.

In January, Howard turned sixteen and got a car. That opened the door to many possibilities. We were able to go to Bloomington or Indianapolis, away from anyone who might know us, to go to movies together. We didn't realize it at the time ... or wouldn't allow ourselves to admit it ... but we were going on dates together. After the movie we would drive around for a while, go to a drive in for a burger and shake, go out and park someplace and almost always have sex before he took me home.

It was becoming more and more difficult to imagine life without Howard, and I didn't really want to. He had become an integral part of my life. My memories of walking through the snow with it crunching under my feet ... always includes the sound of Howard's feet next to mine. I can't imagine watching a sunset without Howard by my side or swimming without him close at hand. A camping trip without Howard would be empty and meaningless. I wanted him to be part of everything I did.

That sophomore year only confirmed my love for Howard, and everything we did tended to highlight it. The summer of 1950, was similar to the preceding one, except we went into this summer with very different expectations ... which were fulfilled many times over. We spent many of our days hiking to the ridge, swimming, fishing, camping and just plain hanging around together. We didn't go to scout camp and therefore there was no Jerry in our activities, but We did see Eddy several times. He joined us for a swim at the pond once ... which turned into a real orgy with the three of us rolling on the grass in the nude. I think he thought that we were too horny for him ... we didn't see much of him after that. Eddy was getting ready to go to school at Purdue the next year, so we wouldn't be seeing much of him after the summer ended anyway

Our Junior year had our involvement escalating to new heights. We dated girls more frequently, but always double dated. Since I now had my license and a car, we took turns driving. The dates were fun, but Howard and I both found our greatest enjoyment after we had taken the girls home. We each drove our own car to the Junior/Senior Prom in May. We both speculated that we might be able to have sex with our date that night, but neither of us were successful. We met in downtown Middletown about 2 o'clock in the morning, each of us sharing our lack of success, and drove to the woods outside of town where we knew we could make out with someone we really loved ... the girls didn't really matter anyway.

The summer of 1951, following our Junior year, found both Howard and I working. I was employed at Shane's Chevron station pumping gas and Howard was bagging groceries at the Big T. This changed the pattern of our activity ... we no longer had long periods of uninterrupted time to be together ... we now had to plan our activities around our work schedules. That, however, did not prevent us from having a very loving relationship. Both his parents and mine took two week vacations ... and we couldn't go with them since we were working. While his folks were gone I stayed with him at his house ... sleeping in his bed; while my Mom and Dad were in Minnesota, Howard came to live with me ... and share my bed. Those four weeks helped make up for the inconveniences of our work schedule and our weekends were also quite delightful. All in all, that summer was truly a blessing to our relationship. It almost felt like we were married ... but only homosexuals would be married and we could not be homosexual. But we tended to ignore those appearances and just enjoyed the moments together.

All too soon the summer was ending and we were preparing for our Senior year of high school. We had talked about the next year when we would go to college and how we wanted to be together as much as possible. We agreed that we would go to Indiana University in Bloomington, and try to convince our parents to let us live in a dorm on campus. Of course we were planning to live together in the dorm, if we could. But that was still a whole year away. For now, however, we were facing our last year at MHS, with as much optimism, enthusiasm and anticipation as ever.

Through the years, Howard and I found more interesting and creative ways to be together and share our love. We were devoted to each other. As we began this last year at MHS, our love and devotion to each other was growing stronger than ever. The autumn brought football and other social events which we both shared with each other and frequently with girls. Neither of us had a steady girl, but we both continued to put forth the front of what was expected of us. Of course, this also permited us to fool ourselves as to our true sexual orientation. We didn't, however, deny our love for, nor supress our sexual desires for each other.

Before Thanksgiving, I bought a watch to give to Howard for Christmas. I wanted this Christmas to be the best ever, and desired to express the deep love I had for him in a way he could carry with him always. It was a very nice watch ... I spent much more than I could afford, but I wanted this to be the best gift possible. I was looking forward to this Christmas with him.

December, however, brought a tragic and devastating incident into our relationship. Indiana had not become any more tolerant to the concept of homosexual behavior over the years. It was considered to be quite deviant and sick. Neither Howard nor myself would consciously admit to ourselves that we were indeed homosexual; I am sure that the thought had crossed his mind more than once ... I know it had mine ... but we would never admit it to ourselves.

The first week of December a boy at school by the name of Gregory became very angry at Howard for some reason and verbally assaulted him in the hall outside the office ... which included a reference to Howard being "Queer." I am certain, looking back to the incident, that he was just looking for a way to attack and insult him, and did not have knowledge of our inclination. It hit Howard like a bucket of cold water in the face. He reeled back, stunned at the accusation and walked away without a word. I ran after him to comfort him. He turned to me coldly and asked me to leave him alone ... to go away. I was devastated.

Howard continued to shun me. He would make a point of sitting with someone else on the bus and hang out with other kids. I rarely saw him and we never had close moments as before. The Christmas I had been looking forward to being so wonderful, brought loneliness and dispare. I gave him my present in the hallway outside of our home room, just before the holiday and just said "I hope you have a very merry Christmas." I wanted to say much more than that ... I wanted to tell him how much I loved him.

I missed Howard so much. I missed being with him, sharing moments together, holding his hand. It was obvious that he saw our relationship as homosexual, and he did not want to be identified with me.

Early in March, I was hitchhiking home from town. Howard drove up and offered me a ride. He apologized for the way he had been acting, and thanked me for the watch. He told me he was not homosexual, but he really did miss our friendship. A couple of weeks later he asked me if I wanted to go into Bloomington to a movie ... just a movie. I was thrilled at the thought of just being with him again and gratefully accepted his invitation.

We went to the movie ... no hand holding or other unnecessary touching ... and went to a drive in before he took me home. I truly enjoyed sharing his companionship. We did this about four weeks in a row ... just going to a movie. Then one night in April, after we had been to a movie and were headed home, we parked and jacked each other off ... no closeness ... no hugging, kissing or other expression of love ... just plain sex. We did this every week for about four weeks, eventually including oral sex as well. Somehow Howard saw this as just plain sex and not at all related to being homosexual. I was enjoying being with him so much that I wasn't going to challenge his thinking ... and I didn't really feel comfortable with the homosexual stigma either. But I did know that I really liked having sex with him, and down deep, I loved him more than I would dare say, for fear that it would drive him away.

Several weeks before our graduation, Howard suddenly moved to Tipton, a small town twenty miles or so on the other side of Indianapolis ... fifty or sixty miles from Mill Creek. I felt so alone after he was gone. That summer was one of the loneliest I can remember. I was getting ready to go to Indiana University in the fall, but I was finding difficulty getting excited about that now. I had hoped that I would be going to college with Howard. The summer before we had talked about going to the University and living together, but that was not to be. He had decided to get a job rather than enter college. Even if he was going to college, I am not sure I would have been a part of his plans.

During that summer we saw each other from time to time. It was not frequent enough for me, however. Howard was adamant about not ever giving the appearance that we were too close. He demanded that we avoid being too familiar and he never introduced me to any of his friends. We would usually meet in Indianapolis and drive just out of town to have sex.

By the time I entered IU, I knew that I was homosexual and wanted to meet others who were similarly inclined. During my freshman year I had two boyfriends to share my erotic desires. David lived in the same dorm, just down the hall from me. He was also a freshman. David was quite cute with blonde hair and hazel eyes. It was David who helped me begin to feel good about my sexual orientation. He was a homosexual and happy about it. As far as David was concerned, there was no stigma attached. He wasn't flaunting it, but he didn't really care what others thought or felt about it either.

One day while we were hotly involved in a session of oral sex, David suddenly stopped, took my cock out of his mouth and exclaimed "I am so glad God made me queer." I had never heard anyone admit to being homosexual before, let alone referring to it as being queer and saying they were glad they were. That shocked me and caused me to think long and hard. I slowly came to the conclusion that yes, I was homosexual and happy that I was. And yes, I was also happy to be queer. I had finally been forced to come to grips with my sexuality ... and the sensation was wonderful.

My other boyfriend, James, was several years older than I and had his own apartment off campus. He was quite worldly, a graduate art major, and had dark, brown hair and brown eyes. James often reminded me of Howard ... not only his appearance, but also the way his eyes sparkled when he flashed his big, warn smile.

Between David and James, I found my sexual fantasies easily satisfied that year. James had approached me after a swimming class one day in the fall. He asked if I would like to go back to his apartment to see his art projects; he mainly wanted to show me the work of art between his legs and see how his strokes could make mine stand out. James was obviously homosexual and, he too was very content with his sexuality. He was quite experienced and taught me many things about sex of which I was totally naive. He helped me feel good about being myself and to not feel guilty about my feelings.

That first year of college was very important for me. I was learning so many valuable things about myself. Not quite the knowledge my parents were expecting me to acquire, but these things would help me focus on myself in a much more positive light and remove the garbage which had been such a burden and getting in my way. These experiences were truly an awakening for me and provided the foundation for a positive redirection of my life.

The End of Part 2

(Continued in Part 3)

Comments always welcome.  Let me know how you feel about this story.    bobdetmer@hotmail.com