Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2005 22:49:13 EST
From: Madasonaysha@aol.com
Subject: "I Hate Anthony" chapter 6  Gay-High School and Gay-Interracial

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Disclamier :  See first chapter
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Comment,Questions or Critisicm of the constructive kind go to
_Madasonaysha@aol.com_ (mailto:Madasonaysha@aol.com)
Quick question : Does anybody know what happend to author of "Superheroes"
Brady York and Roman Genisis, author of "Earth As It Is In Heaven"?
Author Note At Bottom
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Other stories by me
		    "Around My Way" last updated 3-1-05
	    "The Handsome Jewish Young Man" last updated 3-6-05
  (Both stories can be found in the High School and Interacial sections)
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(* Edited with profound gratitude by Zuri author of "Whats Happening To Me")

			     "I HATE ANTHONY"

			  BY MADISON AYSHA DANTE

		       CHAPTER SIX: MONDAY MORNINGS

There was something different about Brian on that cold Monday
morning, but Tracy couldn't place it.  She couldn't remember the
last time that she saw him so happy, but if that wasn't strange
enough, Jackson was in a good mood again, too, which was odd.
For the last few weeks, Jackson had been walking around with a
funky attitude; and then out of the blue, he was back to his old
self again.  Everyone was glad because he was working everyone's
last nerve with his outbursts and sullen behavior.  Regina also
noticed the change in how he was acting and was really pleased by
it.   She only hoped that it would stay the same after she had that
talk with him that she planned on having later that week.

Jackson and Brian were huddled in the corner by Jackson`s locker,
laughing at some dumb joke they heard on Comic View the night
before.  After the kiss they shared that Saturday afternoon, they
talked a while. They resolved few of the issues that it had been
brought up.  Jackson however never admitted to being gay or even
bi-sexual. He did admit to being curious about some things and
apologized to Brian if the kiss bothered him.  He knew that Brian
was into the kiss itself, but could tell that there was little
emotion behind.  It seemed just physical.  Jackson put his heart
and soul into that kiss whereas Brian may have put a lot of passion
in it; it just wasn't filled with the same passion as Jackson had
expected.

That was the perfect opportunity where Brian could have come out.
At least that way he would have had someone to confide in and talk
to about what was going on with him. But, as much as he cared about
Jackson, he just couldn't bring himself to tell him, even after
all that happened between them.  Jackson, on the other hand, had
his suspicions about Brian confirmed, but he didn't let on to
Brian that he knew that.  He copped-out and said he just wanted to
know what it was like to kiss another boy. It was sorta a
spur-of-the-moment type thing.  Brian willingly accepted his reason
and told him that it surprised him, but the kiss didn't bother him
at all.  He still hadn't admitted to being gay though.  Even after
everything that had happened between them, he couldn't be sure of
how Jackson would take it.  Brian didn't think the reaction would
be bad, but he thought that it would have only brought out more
confusion for Jackson.  Brian was partially relieved that things
between he and Jackson had been resolved so quickly.   He felt that
their friendship was too important and one kiss shouldn`t change
things.  True to his words, Brian left Jackson's house later that
night, satisfied in the fact that things would stay the same between
them, but Jackson was still unsatisfied.  He told a bold face lie to
Brian.  He did feel something when they kissed and all the attraction
that he had for him before that had only been intensified by the
situation.  He was still too afraid of his feelings to admit to them
to anyone, and he didn`t know if he ever would.  `At least Brian was
cool about it and didn't trip.' He thought to himself.

 Anthony's Monday morning was painful.  It hurt him to see Brian.  The
pain and unease quickly faded and was replaced with his familiar
cockiness and arrogance.  `Brian was nothing to him and he would never
be.'  He kept telling himself.  A part of his past that would stay
there.  He didn't even like Brian and didn't understand why he felt
the way that he did.  Subconsciously, he knew what it was. It was
jealousy, but that was something he would keep deeply buried.  Some
things were better left unsaid.  He couldn't help from thinking about
what he saw. At first, he wasn't even sure of what he thought he saw
that afternoon through Carlos's window.  Carlos had left him alone in
his room to make a booty call to his current girlfriend of the week.
It was hot inside of the room, so he went over to open the window.
He never realized just how close Carlos's house was next to Jackson's.
His eyes quickly swept over Jackson's house.  He looked over briefly,
and for a second, he thought that he saw Jackson kissing some girl,
but his bedroom curtains were blocking out the girls face.  `Yeah,
Jackson's getting some' he thought with a smile.  He was about to close
the window back when Jackson's curtains blew open wider and he could
clearly see that the `girl' who Jackson was getting some from was not a
girl, but in fact, it was Brian.  His Brian!  For a brief moment,
hurt washed over him, but that was quickly replaced by rage.  He wanted
 to run next door and beat the shit out of Jackson, but that would
accomplish nothing.  `Why do I feel like this still?' he questioned
himself.  He had no claim to Brian; he hated him.  He had to.  That
was the only way to keep things from getting complicated.  Anthony
slammed the window down just in time as Carlos strolled back in the
room with an evil grin on his face.  Anthony knew that Carlos had
been successful in convincing his girl-friend to come over, so without
being asked, he left.    He didn't catch the bus home, but opted to
take the thirty minute walk home in the cold.  He needed the time to
sort out his thoughts.

He hated how overwhelmed he felt by them
and how Brian still stayed inside of his heart, no matter how hard he
tried to keep him out of it. Deep down, he know nothing would ever
keep him out.  No matter how many girls or how many times he would tell
himself that it was wrong, nothing would change what laid inside of
his heart and he knew it.  He fought his love for him with hateful
words and hateful actions, but no matter how much hatred he pretended
to feel, love always won out.  He covered his feeling of love with
even more hateful words and actions.  He had to try that much harder
not to feel excited by Brian's presence.  He would call him shit face
and throw evil glares when really all he wanted to do was embrace him
in a kiss and sing him lullabies of I love you`s. All that night
Anthony laid awake in bed, unable to sleep once again.  He thought
about the kiss that he saw between Jackson and Brian. He was plagued
with thoughts of what could have been, but what should never be.
Those thoughts continued on in his mind for the remainder of the
weekend, and it wasn't until that he got to school that morning that
the hurt turned to anger once again.  He was walking down the hallway
and when he saw Jackson and Brian standing around by his locker
laughing.  His jaws clenched, and he balled fists. He had an
intimidating look plastered to his face. He made his way towards them.

"Get the fuck out of my way!" Anthony yelled and startled both Brian
and Jackson.  Jackson assumed that all the anger was directed for
Brian, as it normally was and wanted to spare him from it.

"We cool, we bout to bounce anyway."  He replied and was trying to
lead Brian away when Anthony addressed them both.

"Shit! Are you two still here? Move!" Anthony yelled, as he bumped
his shoulder into Brian's.  Caught off guard, he stumbled a little
and Jackson went into protective mode.  He pushed Anthony back,
causing both of their books to crash to the ground.  The loud sound
that it caused made everyone in the hallway stop and look at them.
Anthony wanted nothing more than to send his fist flying into
Jackson's face, but knew that they both would get suspended if they
were caught fighting.  There was a big basketball game coming up in
two weeks and they both knew it wouldn't be wise to risk getting
uspended and missing it.  Anthony mumbled to himself in Spanish and
walked away, leaving a confused Brian and an even more confused
Jackson standing there.

"What was all that about?" Brian asked Jackson.  He always thought
that Jackson and Anthony were on good terms, but it seemed that
Anthony now hated him almost as much as he hated Brian.

"Yo, man, I don't know, but I'm gonna have to find out later.  Lets
go, we got to get to class." Jackson replied and they went off to
start their day.

The first class that Brian had that morning was math class with
Riley, but he wasn't in school that day.  Riley had a tendency to
skip school a lot, so Brian thought nothing of it.  His friend was
a cool person, but had a lot of problems that no one, but Brian
knew about.  Riley's mother was murdered when he was fourteen and
his father began to drink to ease away his pain.  When he was drunk,
Mr. Leary had a tendency to get violent and take his frustrations
out on his children.  His two older brothers had moved out to avoid
their father's wraith, leaving Rye alone for his father to take out
his anger on.  Many nights Rye would be beaten and degraded by
someone who was suppose to love him.  He only told Brian because
he felt that the two of them were best friends.  After Tracy, they
were.  Brian knew he should tell someone, but Rye begged him not
to.  He only had one and a half more years until graduation and
then he could leave.  Rye didn't know where he would go, but
anywhere would be better than where he was living.  Being one of
only a few white people in the city, Rye was the minority.  They
people felt that whites should be living off in better neighborhoods,
and by them living in the ghetto, they must have been worse off
then everybody else.

Rye could have easily been one of the kids that got
picked on or teased, but he wasn't.  He lived in the projects so
he had a slight tough side that didn't make him a tough guy, just
a little harder than normal.  He wasn't angry at the world, but he
was saddened by it.  His life was depressing, and despite having a
few good people to talk to about his problems, he often was consumed
with the thoughts that no one could help him.  His father was a
drunk, a child abuser.  He didn't feel that he was smart and didn't
know what kind of life he would live once graduation arrived.  They
way he saw it, he had no skills and saw no opportunities, but he
had a lot of ambition.  Sometimes he felt that he would be better
off dead.  In his dark life the only sense of comfort came in the
arms of his Nana.  His Grandma Jay was a gentle natured woman, who
loved him dearly.  How someone as kind as wonderful as she was,
could ever raise such a man like his father was beyond Rye's
comprehension.  It was a shame that she had moved down to the south
after she retired. Her house was his only salvation and now that
was gone.

At lunch, Jackson was still in his jovial mode, despite his run-in
with Anthony earlier.  It warmed Regina's heart to see him so happy.
She just hoped that he would stay that way once she found the courage
to break the news to him that she needed to.  She couldn't continue
to lead him on.  She loved him way too much for that.

"You know what show I miss?" Tracy asked Brian who was too busy
looking at Jackson eat his lunch to respond immediately.

"Huh?  Oh, what show?"  He asked.

"I like so miss `Young Americans'.  The WB hasn't been the same
without it.  I mean, yeah it sucked that they took off Roswell and
Buffy, but that show was greatly under appreciated."

"Tracy, you watch WAY too much TV-"  Brian stopped short in his
sentence.  Anthony, Carlos and the rest of his lackeys all came up
to their table.  For a change, Anthony didn't even look at Brian
or make any nasty comments.   Brian stared up at him curiously.
He wondered why he wasn't bothering him that day.  At first,
Anthony looked at him softly, but then it turned cold into a cold
stare. He turned his eyes away and back down to Jackson and his
defenses immediately went up.  He knew that they were there to
talk to him.

"Aye Yo! Jackson, dude, we gotta holler at you for a minute."
Carlos said.  Jackson looked over at Anthony who stood petulantly
next to Carlos.  He was throwing ice glares at him and Brian, who
ried to pretend that he was engrossed in deep conversation with
Tracy.  Jackson knew that he was anxious because his fingers were
twiddling with his fork.  He wanted to bring Brian some comfort,
so he directed Carlos and his friends outside of the lunch room
and into the bathroom.

"What's up?" Jackson inquired, once he got there.

"We want to know what's the beef between you and Ant is." Reggie
said.  Anthony looked over and mumbled how much he hated that nick
name, but no one paid him any attention.

"There is no beef.  HE started tripping out for no damn reason!"
Jackson stated.  He tried to keep the contempt out of his voice,
but he couldn't.  He didn't like how Anthony had treated Brian.
Now that the two of them had gotten closer, he wouldn't stand for
anyone hurting Brian, even if that meant he would have to lose a
friend over it.  Brian was too important and too special to be
treated as if he was garbage.

"ME? You and your little boyfriend started it!"  Anthony yelled.
That comment sparked something inside of Jackson that made him
want to punch him.  Anthony knew the depths that his comments
went and he preyed on it.  Consumed with momentary panic, Jackson
retreated for a moment and before he could respond, Carlos
nterjected.

"It don't matter who started it, can ya'll just agree to end it?
Ya'll two is boys, so stop acting like a bunch of faggots!"  He
yelled.  Anthony knew that he was acting just like that...a faggot.
A dirty, little faggot and he wouldn't be that.  He couldn't let
himself be that.  He made an unconscious decision to let bygones
be bygones.  That was not a life for him and if Jackson wanted to
make that mistake, then it was his choice.  Carlos was right. They
were friends and that's how things should be.

"Yeah, you right. My bad, Jackson."  Anthony said and stuck his
hand out to slap hands with him.  Jackson stood there shocked.
Anthony was always the argumentative type and it was out of
character for him to be the one to make peace.  Despite his
apprehension, Jackson slapped his hands as a sign of good faith.
Both of them ended up embracing in the `bro-hug' and everything
was cool again.  Jackson went back to the cafeteria and sat back
down. Brian started in with the questions.

"What was all of that about?" He asked Jackson anxiously.  He already
knew the answer, but he wanted to here him say it anyway.  Jackson
looked over at Brian and for a brief second, he wanted to smile at
how cute he looked with the look of worry etched on his face, but
he stopped himself.  No matter how much he wanted to be with Brian,

"You know that bullshit this morning at the lockers.  Carlos was
trying to get us to patch things up."  Brian rolled his eyes at
the mention of Carlos's name.

"Carlos, Mr. Helpful, huh?  Did you guys make up?"

"Yeah, were cool now."  Jackson replied.  Brian had hoped that
Jackson and Anthony wouldn't have made up.  So many people seemed
to like Anthony and it would have been nice if another person
besides himself would have disliked him.  Alas, it wasn't about to happen.
`Why is HIS life so easy?'  Brian asked himself.  From
the outside looking in, Anthony was a figure that many looked up
to.  On the surface, he had pretty girlfriends, he was athletic
and was popular.  But I know that things aren't always as they
appear.

English Class:  Brian was dreading going there that day.  The incident
from the other night when Anthony showed up at his house was still
fresh in his mind.  He questioned himself as to if it really happened.
Crazy, he knew it did, but his head was being realistic.  There was
no reason for Anthony to be at his house that night, yet he had
been.  There was no mistaking those dark green eyes when the
ambulance lights shined on them.   Everything has been so weird
lately.

Brian arrived to class before everyone else. He realized that he'd
forgotten to get his books.  He made a mad dash towards the door,
and crashed against a strong frame.  His body flew back; he was
about to fall back when two strong arms grabbed him and prevented
the inevitable fall.  The familiar smell of sweet, expensive
cologne filled his nostrils.  There was no need to look up.  Brian
already knew it was Anthony.  Before Anthony could make any comments
or insults,  Brian mumbled a thank you and dashed past him out of
the door.  He jogged slowly to his locker and fumbled with the
combination.  For the life of him, he couldn't remember that damn combinat
ion.  `22,12,4.  No, 22, 4,21....Shit!'  The numbers were
inside his head; it was just their order that confused him.  The bell
had rang. And, once again, he was late.  `No use in rushing now', he
thought.  So, he took his time.  After a few more minutes of
struggling, he finally got the locker open.  The loud sound of
hateful laughter filled his ears. Brian tried to lock up quickly,
but it was too late.  Carlos had already seen him.  Carlos walked
right up to Brian and pushed him back against the locker.

"Whadup Faggot!" Carlos snarled.  Brian wasn't really afraid of
him, only what he knew he could do to him.  He was only three or
four inches taller than him, so he didn't feel overpowered; he just
felt powerless.  Brian was never much of a fighter, preferring to
be mellow and relaxed rather than belligerent. Carlos had a temper
and wasn't afraid to show it.  Unlike Anthony, Carlos wouldn't settle
for a few exchanges of words.  No, he was a man of action.

"I'm not a fag." Brian timidly responded and it wasn't a lie.  He
was gay, that he already knew, but he was as much as a Faggot as he
was a Nigger.  He didn't like being called names, but Carlos's voice
had immobilized him  He just couldn't respond, as much as he wanted
to.

"Shut the fuck up...BITCH! Did I tell you to talk.  I don't appreciate
how you're always getting Ant in trouble.   If that wasn't bad
enough, your little punk ass trying to start some beef with Jackson
and Ant.  Dem is my peoples and if you fuck wit my peoples...I'm gonna
fuck you up.!  Got it?"  Carlos said.  He had moved his face so
close to Brian's, that little flicks of his spit hit him across in
his face.  You could even see the foamy white saliva against Brian's
dark brown skin.  Brian was annoyed by the whole situation.  He didn't
like to feel pushed around, all of that was getting way to old.
When he was younger, it was expected.  You would think that at almost
seventeen, everyone would have grown up by then, but that wasn't
the case with most.  Carlos, for instance, only grew in his
immaturity and need for domination.  He was an arrogant son of a
bitch and he would never change.  He didn't wait for Brian's response,
he just walked away.  Brian glared at Carlos as he walked away.
he asshole even had the nerve to look back at him once he reached
the end of the hallway and wink as he pointed his fingers out like
he was clicking a gun before turning the corner and walking out of
sight.

Brian wanted to scream or throw something out of his frustration,
but there was nothing he could do.  He went to the bathroom to rinse
his face in hopes of cooling down some of the heat that he felt in
it.  He turned on the faucet and it took a moment for the water to
warm up.  He splashed some on his face and as he was drying it, he
heard the door open.  Thinking it might have been Carlos coming back
for more, he quickly ducked inside of a stall.  He heard the number
of a phone being dialed and recognized the voice as Jackson's.
Cell phones were prohibited from being used in school so students
often would sneak and use them in the bathroom.

Jackson knew if he got caught using his cell phone on school
property, it would get taken away.  He just needed to call his
mother to remind her to pick him up.    He loved his mother, but
sometimes she could be real dense, always forgetting to pick him
up.  He was startled by a tap on his shoulder and his fear of
getting caught by a teacher was replaced by a smile when he saw
Brian's grinning face.

"Sneaking in a minute for your Mom, I see."  Brian said startling
Jackson who jumped at the sound of someone else`s voice.  Brian
was back to feeling like his normal, playful self.  One of the
things Jackson loved...liked...about Brian was his funny personality.

"Yeah Diz! You know how she is with remembering to get me." Jackson
replied and the two of them made their way back towards their
classes.  Brian had a few books in his hand, so Jackson took a few
to help him out.   He unconsciously walked Brian to his class even
though his class was in the opposite direction.  An act like that
was casually overlooked by Brian.  When Brian walked into class,
Mr. Rice sharply looked at him, but made no comments on the fact
that he was late. The room was noisy with everyone chattering about.
Everything inside of the classroom was mixed up.  All of the desks
were pushed together in groups of two. He scanned the class and saw
that his desk was pushed next to Anthony, who was resting his head
on the desk.  He sat down tentatively next to Anthony who looked up
at him briefly before sitting up.

"We have to start working on that assignment."  Anthony stated
without looking at him.  Brian reached down into his bookbag and
brought out his notebook, but couldn't find a pen.  He riffled
through the many pieces of loose paper in his book bag and tried to
find one.  Anthony noticed and reached over and handed him a pen.
Brian looked up at him cautiously and took it.  He mumbled a thank
you and began to start his paper.  It was hard for him to concentrate.
Anthony sat so close to him that their legs would occasionally touch.
The room was clouded with the sounds of laughter and the other .
They didn't know where to start.   Unbeknownst to Brian, Anthony was
just as nervous working so closely with him.  Anthony didn't know what
to do either.  He was just as lost with how to start the paper.  In his
eyes, it had to be the stupidest writing assignment that he had ever
heard of.

"Well...do you know where to start?"  Anthony asked, startling Brian who
didn't expect him to say anything.

"Uh...no.  This has to be the dumbest assignment that I ever heard of
doing."  Brian stated and sucked his teeth.  Anthony chuckled softly
to himself and Brian though he was making fun of him again.

"Oh boy..."  Anthony chuckled.

"What now?"  Brian stated dully, just waiting to hear Anthony's
latest quip at him.  Anthony looked over at Brian and saw the
anxiety written across his face.  Brian looked up at Anthony and for
the first time noticed that he still had a few traces of dark brown
freckles dancing across his nose and offsetting the flecks of brown
in his dark green eyes.  The familiar came back again and Brian
shyly looked back down at the empty notebook paper that he was
trying to find the words to write on.

"Nothing son, I was just saying the same thing."  Anthony responded
and began to chuckle.  The look of confusion on Brian's face only
made him laugh harder.  Brian looked at him like he had lost his
mind and then softly he began to laugh himself.  He was unsure as to
why he was laughing, but he kept laughing and soon they both were
rolled over chuckling for the next minute.

"So, where do you think we should start?"  Brian asked after the
laughter had died down.

"I really don't know.  Where do you think we should start?"

"How about we start with `before I die?'  We could write about the
friendship that we had that way the reader can get to know some of
the back history between us and feel more emotions by my death."
Brian stated and Anthony began to laugh again.

"Damn Brian!  I forgot how smart you are."  Anthony instantly
regretted saying those words.  He knew that he shouldn't let
himself become consumed with the comfort of being around Brian, yet
he found it hard not to.  It had been so long since the two of them
had sat down and shared a laugh and that felt good.

"Well some things never change...Uh, anyway, we don't really have
enough time to plot today anyway."  Brian stated and looked away.
For a moment or so, he felt comfortable around him, but he didn't
want to fell that way around him again.  He had to push the thought
of friendship down to the recesses of his mind.

"What are you doing on Saturday?"  Anthony asked and kicked himself.
He hadn't meant to say that, but it was just the words came out before
he could stop them.

"Uhh...nothing.  Why?"

"Well, we should...ummm...like get together.  I mean, if you're not
busy."  Anthony mumbled.  Brian's began to tap his fingers on the
desk nervously, something that wasn't overlooked by Anthony.

"Oh, sure okay...what time?"

"I have a game at six that night so how about we do it like one
that afternoon?"

"Sure that's fine.  Do you want to exchange numbers?"  Brian asked
and Anthony nodded as he jotted down his number.  They both
exchange numbers and each silently thought `The number is still
the same.'  With only a few minutes left to kill before the bell
rung, Mr. Rice told everyone to put their desks back and for
everyone to go back to their seats so he could take roll call one
last time.  Anthony and Brian's eyes meant as they both stood up
to help organize the class.  They both smiled.  Anthony moved to
sit back in his seat.  Brian looked over his shoulder and their
eyes briefly meant before each looked away.  Brian thought to
himself `  I hope things work out.'

When Brian left the class room, the first person he saw was Jackson.
They gave the "bro" handshake and Jackson handed Brian his books
that he had accidentally taken with him to class.

"I hope you didn't need these, dude."  Jackson said. Brian mumbled
a "no."  They were walking towards their lockers when Brian
remembered he had Anthony's pen.

"Shit, I gotta find Anthony."  He said and Jackson looked at him
sideways.

"What for?"

"Oh, I have his pen."

"He's in P.E. with me, I can give it to him if you want."  Jackson
said. To his surprise Jackson pulled him into a tight hug that
from all appearances just looked friendly, but it more than that
for Jackson.  Brian didn't think much of it and returned the
embrace.  When they pulled apart, he looked over Jackson's
shoulder to see Anthony glaring at them.   If Brian had paid more
attention, he would have seen the look of hurt and pain that was
replaced with false anger on Anthony's face.  But he didn't.  He
walked over to Anthony, with Jackson leaving in the other direction.

"Thanks man, I forgot to give you your pen."  Brian said and handed
the pen to Anthony, who roughly took it out of Brian's hands.

"Thanks Punk!  You better had given it back, but you know the deal.
Right shit face?" He yelled and walked off leaving Brian dumbfounded.
Brian didn't know why he was so surprised by Anthony's harsh words,
yet he was.  He thought they had broken ground, but apparently they
hadn't.  Brian walked off towards his next class with mumbling to himself, "
What a Dick!"....

			      To Be Continued

Wanna know what happens next? You would if you were in my yahoo group
_http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MaddyA_Stories_
(http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MaddyA_Stories)
Copyright 2005
A/N
I Just want to take a moment to thank a few people who have really been
supportive.  JoJo (author the
best damn soap opera "Angst", Bootz for your kind words, Rocky for the
funnies and a host of all the people
at the yahoo group whose daily messages help keep a girl motivated : )