Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2011 13:20:05 -0800 (PST) From: J J Subject: I love you Chapter 2 This story is completely fictional, any resemblance of real people or events are completely coincidental. This story contains gay sex between young males, if you are underage (18 in most areas) then please leave the story. This story may also contain some offensive language if it offends you then feel free to stop reading any further. This story belongs to j_stories91@yahoo.com don't copyright it and all the usual copyrights and legal stuff applies. Feel free to send comments, suggestions, and even criticism to me. And of course enjoy the story. ******************** I Love You Chapter 2 ******************** "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!!!! YOU'RE A FUCKING FAG", why did I react that way the one person who has always been there for me, I mean I have no problem with people being gay, was it because he said he loved me, but why did that bother me so much, we could have worked through it, all I had to do was say anything, ANYTHING other then what I did say. God, why do I always screw things up, I could never do anything right for my parents, now we hardly even talk. I hurt the one person who stood there with me when ever I needed him, but when he needed my support the most I hurt him and now he's in the hospital. How can he ever forgive me, because of me he lost a month of his life he can never get back, if he even wakes up again. He opens up to me and tells me how he feels about me and what did I do. I yell at him calling him a fag. I'm just a screw up that will only cause the people who love me pain. I had to get out and clear my head so I went for a walk down I trail in the woods that Carter and I found when we were little. I saw the tree fort we built a few years ago. I remember when we would campout in it during the summer, we would stay up until late at night talking about everything and playing games, we never got to stay out all night because the bugs always got to bad so we would end up sleeping at his house. I remember the time I fell off of it and sprained my ankle, Carter was so scared so he carried me on his back all the way home, we stayed with me when we went to the hospital, and when I got out I wasn't supposed to walk on it much so my parents made me stay in the house until it healed, Carter came over everyday, right away in the morning and would stay until late at night. He stayed with me until my ankle healed. I walked further down the trail and came to a small field were me and Carter would lye on the ground and just talk for hours. We would always go here just to talk and get away from life's problems. This is also were I went after the big fight with my parents, I was planning to run away in the morning, but my parents called Carter's parents to see if I was there, when Cater heard I was gone he knew right were to find me. I was crying still when he got to me, he just sat next to me and pulled me into his shoulder and let me cry into it until I stopped, once I stopped crying he got me up and brought me to his house and let me stay there for a week. He stayed there with me and held me the whole time. He knew I didn't want to talk about what my parents said that made me want to run away, he never asked me what they said, but I could tell that he wanted to, I could tell he really cared about me. He has been the one thing that kept me wanting to live. I haven't realized how much I miss his him. I miss someone actually caring about me, I miss going outside and him waiting for me, I miss how he able to make me happy when I'm sad, I miss his smile, or how his hair looks when the sun hits it the right way, he looks just like an angel, I miss his smile..WAIT what an I thinking!?!?!?!? God I cant go anywhere without thinking of Carter. Then it hit me. I kept walking down the trail, it comes out at the end of the road were we live. I started to walking back home, when I saw Carter's parents pull in to their driveway they were probably were getting back from the hospital. I started walking up their driveway and they saw me and waved. "Hey, how's Carter?" I asked, just then Carter's mom pulled me into a hug and tears started to fall from her eyes. "The doctor told us that there still not sure when he is going to wake up, he hasn't shown any signs of waking up soon, they said it could be weeks of even months more before he wakes up." Carter's mom said I told her I was sorry and then headed back home. When I got to my room I just broke down, I started crying so hard and punching my pillow, something inside me broke when she told me that. I can't take this anymore I miss him so much, I can't take this any longer I have no one to talk to, no who cares about me, I just can't take anymore. I think what my parents said is true. I went to my parent's room and went to their closet and found my dads hand gun he had I took it to my room. I sat down on my bed completely numb, put the gun to my head, put my finger on the trigger, and started to pull the trigger. I can't do this, I thought, I have to let see Carter one last time. I put the gun down and went to my desk and got a piece of paper out and wrote a note to Carter. I went outside and saw Carter's parents go out, there probably going to the hospital to be with Carter. Once they were out of sight I went to their door and turned the door knob, luckily they never locked their doors, I went in and went to Carter's room and put the note on his desk then left. I waited until late at night to go to the hospital so Carter's parents wouldn't be there. I snuck into the hospital, and snuck into Carter's room. I closed the door and headed to his bed. His hair was long because he hasn't had a haircut in a month; his golden curls were covering his closed eyes, so I pushed his hair away from his face. I grabbed his hand and just held it for a while. "God Carter I'm so sorry I did this to you." I said with tears dunning down my face, ".I umm. I don't deserve to have a friend like you. I will just cause you nothing like pain. just like I did to my parents. I know I never told you what they said to me during the fight we had, it was just so hard to believe. but now I realized they were right. I'm sorry for what I said to you at the lake. I umm. I didn't know why I said that at the time, until today. I realized that I umm. I. I love you. there I said it, I love you. I love you and knowing that I caused you pain it hurts. it hurts so, so much. not having anyone to talk to I just can't take it anymore. I love you but I can't take this pain anymore. and if you are still mad at me I. I don't want to feel that pain. I'm sorry I leaving you like this, but ummm. I will cause you nothing but pain, and I can't do that do you anymore. I love you." I leaned forward and gave him a kiss on his cheek, I tried to walk away buy Carter had a grip on my hand. "Carter?" I said, "Carter, its Trevor. Can you hear me Carter?" his eyes started to open. "Trevor, don`t." he said, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!", a voice came from behind me, I turned around and saw a doctor standing at the door, when the doctor saw Carter was up he ran over to him, so I snuck out the door. I went back home and grabbed the gun and sat back down on my bed. ************* Carter's POV ************* It's been a week since I woke up, and the doctors say I can go home today. I'm exited to get out if here but also nervous, Trevor hasn't been here to see me, he must still hate me for what I said. Why did I have to say that to him, I screwed everything up and now I lost my best friend. I just wish he would stop by so we could work this out; I just want things to return to normal. I got ready to leave and we were gone before noon. We got home and I headed to my room. I threw some stuff on my bed then I saw a piece of paper sitting on my desk. I picked it up and started reading it: Carter, I'm so sorry for what I said to you, and sorry I'm not here with you anymore. I never told you why I wanted to run away when I got into the fight with my parents so here it goes, I came home from school and the report cards came in and I got all A's except for two classes I got a B-. They were mad and kept telling me how I wasn't trying, I just ignored them but then they told me that I was grounded until I got my grades up, they told me I wasn't allowed to go any during the week and weekends, and I wasn't allowed to hang out with you any more, that you were just a distraction to me. When they said that I lost it, I told them that I was trying my hardest and that I just not as perfect as they want me to be. They got even more mad and they told me that I was worthless that I am a screw up and don't deserve to be alive. That hurt so bad tears just started to fall from my eyes and I ran off into the woods, I didn't want to be around anymore I never wanted to see them again. I was going to run away, but when you found me you made me feel better, you made me feel cared for. I just tried to forget what they said to me because when I'm with you I know my parents are wrong that I'm not a screw up and that I deserve to live. You were the only thing that made me want to get up each day, you were the only thing I had to live for, and then I screwed that up. I didn't know why I said what I said but I felt so bad. I was going to apologize to you that night but then I found out you were in an accident, my heart just broke knowing that I was the reason you were in an accident, then I found out you were in a coma, and I felt even worse, I stayed with you that week but I couldn't help but hurt knowing that I'm the reason you here, I couldn't take that pain anymore so I stopped coming. I couldn't stop thinking about you the whole time and couldn't figure out why I reacted the way I did. I went for a walk today to try to clear my head for a while and I ended up realizing something, I realized I loved you. I love you and not having you around hurts so much and me being the reason you not around are unbearable. I love you and I just want to spare you the pain I will end up causing you. I want you to know that this is not your fault, please don't blame yourself for this because this is all my fault. I love you Carter, Trevor I dropped the note and ran to Trevor's house his parents were around so I went to his room. I opened his door and he has lying on his bed and a gun sitting next to him. My heart stopped and tears were starting to form when he rolled over. "He's just sleeping" I whispered and felt relieved and so I quietly walked over and crawled into his bed. He tuned over and opened his eyes and just smiled. I couldn't resist so I leaned in and kissed him. ************** Trevor's POV ************** When I got back from the hospital my emotions returned. I grabbed the gun, I put it to my head, but I couldn't pull the trigger, I had to talk to Carter maybe he could help me through this. I tried to sleep but I couldn't sleep. I wanted to talk to Carter right away but I knew his parents would be with him the whole time, also what if he is mad at me I can't go through that, so I just stayed in my room for the rest of that week. When I heard that Carter was going to be released today I was so happy I couldn't wait any longer so I figured I would wait for him at his house and then I could finally talk to him. I sat down on my bed and fell asleep for first time in a long time. I felt someone crawl into my bed, so I turned over to see who it was. I opened my eyes and saw Carter lying next to me I couldn't help but smile. Then he kissed me!!! It surprised me, but it just felt so good. I closed my eyes and fell asleep with Carter cuddling me, I felt at peace for the first time in a month. ******************** To be continued.? ******************** Authors Note: Ok I know this is still short but I felt like this was a nice place to stop. I want to know if I should continued with the story, either way there will be another chapter. I know it took a while to get this done but I had writers block and ended up rewriting the chapter. I am going to be busy for the next two weeks, but I will try to get another chapter up in a week. If you want me to email you when it comes up just send me an email saying you want to be notified when the next chapter comes up. Also feel free to send comments, suggestions, advice, and criticism to j_stories91@yahoo.com. Thanks Jay (not real name)