Date: Sat, 3 Dec 2011 18:52:00 +0100
From: Calvin Corvidian <cancorv@gmail.com>
Subject: I'm not gay but my b ...

A typical Thursday evening for Zach and Jared. They've put in a full day at
school, have put all their remaining energy into their after-school
swimming training and now they're plodding through their maths homework for
tomorrow. As best buddies and neighbours and sharing a lot of classes, they
often work together on homework assignments. Neither of them is shy about
their scholastic flaws in some subjects or possessive of their scholastic
prowess in others. In fact, they balance each other quite nicely and learn
a lot from each other. It keeps them in as good a scholastic shape as their
sport-cum-exercise does their physical shape. They've only known each other
since Jared's family moved into "a better neighbourhood" when his father
inherited a totally unexpected small fortune from an uncle a few years ago.
    On this particular Thursday evening towards the beginning of their last
year of secondary school, they have just finished their homework. Zach
starts to make some "it's time for you to be heading home, don't you think"
noises. Jared however asks if he can sleep on the spare bed in Zach's room,
since he hates going home to an empty house. His parents have gone away for
a few days and taken his twin sister along. Zach acquiesces but asks for
half an hour's down time as he hasn't had any time to chat to his
girlfriend today. Jared lies on the spare bed and does some reading for
tomorrow's English class while Zach opens his chat program and starts
typing almost frantically. There are almost no pauses which Jared
interprets as a string of very short messages flying back and forth. Zach's
been with Amy for a few months and they both seem to be very
content. Although he does slip mentions of her into conversations with
Jared, he never pours it on. He remembers what it was like being single and
having the non-singletons regaling him with the minutiae of squabbles, the
overwhelming feeling of being in love, and some far too intimate
details. He vowed never to do that when he had a girlfriend. And like the
best friend anyone could ever want, he is true to his word - even without
explaining any of this to Jared.
    He closes down the chat and announces that he's going to wash the
swimming pool chlorine off before retiring. As he stands, Jared can see
that talking to Amy has caused some tension in his tracksuit pants. He
would like to believe that he was being invited to shower too. Liking what
he saw, he decides to read some of the Shakespeare to Zach. The way he
moved aside on the bed was a clear signal to Zach to sit by him and
listen. He did. Jared read a couple of lines and asked Zach to repeat
them. As if concentrating for him, Jared looked into his friend's eyes as
they got through the lines together. They did this to the end of the
sonnet. Shower time, Zach announced and stood up. He noticed his friend
staring at his even more distended pants, and as if concentrating for him,
looked into his eyes. Jared's face started to burn. Zach hesitated for a
moment, then abruptly slipped his clothes off and walked into the
bathroom. After the shower had been running for a minute, Jared realised
that shower time was the very invitation he'd been waiting for. He removed
his clothes and went into the bathroom. Zach was rinsing the shampoo out of
his hair, with his back arched back and his erection sticking out a modest
mile in front of him. Jared climbs in behind him and scares the shit out of
him when he starts to gently sponge his back. Who's that?, he shouts,
wiping his shampooey eyes with the backs of his hands.
    Jared dropped the sponge. Who do you think?
    Well, mum and dad not. So only you or my brother. What do you think you
are doing? Jared continued sponging without the sponge. I thought a little
massage would be just the thing.
    For you or for me? Zach asks sarcastically.
    Well, you can do me too. I have to wash this chlorine off too. We can
save water. Jared was now kneading his friend's shoulders quite firmly and
being rewarded with moans of pleasure. Just tell me when to stop. Haven't
you ever had a massage before?
    No, I haven't. And I would never have thought that my first one would
be from you in the shower, he said sternly.
    OK, your turn to return the favour. Jared put his hands on Zach's waist
and turned him around. Jared's erection had waned to half mast while Zach's
had waxed to half mast.
    I'm sorry, Jared, but I am not enjoying this very much. Jared ignored
the comment and turned around. Zach started kneading away as Jared started
moaning away. Harder, harder, he begged. Zach slapped his arse for
pretending to be slutty. Ouch, I didn't mean there. And he wiggled his bum
and pressed it backwards into Zach's crotch. When Jared sensed the
completeness of Zach's flaccidity, he knew he'd not only lost, but that
he'd overstepped the bounds of friendship. Zach took him by the shoulders
and turned him around so that they had to face each other. When Zach felt
the completeness of Jared's rigidity swipe his hip, he too realised that
the bounds of friendship were being overstepped. He looked down at his
friend's hard cock and up into his eyes. The desperation in Jared's eyes
was so piercing, that Zach knew that the survival of their friendship now
depended on whatever he said and did here and now. Nothing in the life of a
seventeen year old prepares one for such a zugzwang.
    Very meekly, Jared said through the lump in his throat, You can touch
it if you like.
    I'd like to use it as a handle to lift you up and throw you through the
window, whereupon he wrapped his arms around him and held him tight while
the warm water continued to shower over them. Confused by the mixed
signals, Jared tentatively wrapped his arms around the person he loved more
than any other, and manoeuvred his very hard cock between his magnificent
friend's magnificent thighs. Don't do that, Zach whispered. They lifted
their chins off each other's shoulders and looked into each other's
faces. An Eskimo kiss seemed the only way out now. Zach felt horrible. He
rested his forehead on Jared's forehead. How long? he asked plaintively.
    About the same as yours, Jared had chosen to dodge the question with a
cheap joke. Zach smacked his butt again. And waited for an answer. Two
years, three months and eleven days.
    And 26 minutes, Zach added.
    And if anyone should wonder just how alike they were, in exactly the
same tone of voice, and at exactly the same time, they said, I'm so
sorry. Of course, they were sorry about different things for different
reasons, but it was enough at this stage that they were both sorry. They
smiled softly at this coincidence and understood very well what the other
had meant. No-one could doubt the purity of the love Zach felt for his
friend. Jared's love was just as deep but was both sullied and exalted by
the conflation of romantic and sexual love. It had exhausted him for two
years, three months, eleven days and 27 minutes. Perhaps he could now move
on. Zach gently separated them and asked to hear those words. I love you,
Jared said without the slightest hesitation or reluctance. I love you, I
love you, I love you. I'll never ever forget you.
    Zach was not brooking this. Jared, you won't have a chance to forget
me. I am not going anywhere. On that, Jared sprayed Zach's abdomen with a
volley of semen. Well that was unexpected, Zach said through an embarrassed
smile. Ditto, Jared said. He took the shower hose and washed his
coagulating semen out of Zach's pubic hair. He took some liquid soap and
stretched out bunches of hair to get it all out. Zach found the perverse
innocence of this scene strangely erotic: instant erection. Which is
precisely where the liquid soap ended up, and Jared's hand slid along it
repeatedly. Zach closed his eyes and tried to pretend anything but what was
actually happening. He'd rather his coach or grandfather or brother or
priest or his worst enemy was abusing him so delightfully. Anyone but the
person he cares about most in the world. Yet, he didn't stop him and by now
the shower had washed the soap away, and it was just skin on skin. With his
eyes closed, Zach didn't notice just how far Jared was prepared to take
this. Within ten seconds of his penis disappearing into his best friend's
mouth, he ejaculated. He'd never experienced anything like it. Neither had
Zach, and he didn't know whether to swallow or spit it out. He didn't know
why he felt that Zach would be insulted if he sent his fluids down the
drain, so he opened the back of his throat wide and let the whole silver
puddle sliver down the back of his throat like an oyster. Zach was
completely lost in a myriad of thoughts at once unsettling and
beautiful. I've heard of blood brothers, but what does this make us? You've
just swallowed my cum.
    Lovers? Jared proffered.
    Only as far as you are the lover and I am the lovee. Jared, I've always
known that I love you, but never like this. You're my best friend, you are
beautiful in so many ways, and I don't even want to think about my life
without you. But I don't and can't love you like this.
    Jared felt the need to demand some semantic precision here, and
interrupted the paean to their friendship, the likes of which few people
ever get to hear. Please stop saying "like this". It has a name and the
love is as old and honourable as any other form of love known to man.
    Zach turned the shower off. He took a towel and started drying
himself. While Zach's foot rested on the side of the bath tub as he dried
his toes, Jared looked this exquisite body up and down until his eyes came
to rest on the arse slightly stretched apart in this posture. Feeling the
gaze burning him, Zach said, don't even think about it. Jared slapped his
arse and said that he was thinking of the other way around. I think we've
really gone quite far enough. Zach took a towel from the cupboard and held
it out gently. As Jared took it, their fingers brushed. Whereas such a
minor thing had previously carried no weight, it was now charged with
awkwardness, perhaps even threat. Jared fell into a silence: playfulness,
shyness, trifling trysts, preppie excuses, insouciance, suddenly belonged
to the past. Adulthood had arrived in a pair of terrifying and delicious
bolts of complementary semen. He would savour the moment for years to come.
    The boys climbed into their respective beds. Zach whispered across the
divide, This is a complication in my life I am very uncomfortable with.
    I know. I'm sorry. No-one more than you deserves a simple, happy and
carefree life. Everything was doddling along without the slightest hitch
and in comes Jared and throws the mightiest spanner in the works. You
deserve better.
    Zach didn't believe that this was Jared's real assessment of his
life. If it were, he'd have given him a simple bomping and sought new
friends. Come here please. After the command was ignored, Zach repeated his
summoning. The way he moved aside on the bed was a clear signal to Jared to
sit down on the bed and listen. He moved from his bed to sit on the edge of
Zach's. Zach grabbed him and lay him down. The two were lying as tightly
side by side as any new couple ever did. At first, the solace was expressed
by Zach's silent hold. But then he propped his head up on his hand and
explained to his best friend that his being gay was never going to be an
issue between them, that they both had to accept the fact that Zach is not
gay, never was, never will be, so he has to let go now. But what Zach
expressed most earnestly was his own sadness.
    What have you got to be sad about? Jared asked.
    My best friend can not ask that question, he said in quiet
indignation. Surely you understand it. He rested his hand flat on Jared's
chest.
    Of course, I understand. But gays don't expect even their best friends
to remain untouched by these revelations. He rested his hand on Zach's.
    Jared, I am extremely touched. I don't think you do get it. I am
saddened by the fact that my best friend has been suffering. For a long
time. In silence. I didn't know. I am its object. You have been lying to
me. Maybe even to yourself. And he started to twist the little hairs on
Jared's chest.
    OK OK, I get it. What I don't get is why we have to crucify ourselves
when we know that there is this level of support coming from those in our
inner circle. He lifted Zach's hand and kissed each finger one by one. Zach
put his fingers into his friend's mouth, and at the same time used his
elbow to check if his friend was erected by this. He took his moistened
fingers towards Jared's arse. Jared said, please, please do it, in a
desperate whisper.
    Shockingly, they heard the light go on in the bathroom and a sliver of
light formed a line across their room. Zach pulled the sheet up as he
pushed Jared to the wall. He whispered, my brother. Jared had never met the
brother as he had moved out before Jared moved into the neighbourhood, and
very rarely made the 1,000 km journey home. Zach put his fingers to his
lips to indicate silence. And then gestured, don't move. He slipped out of
bed and went into the bathroom that connected his bedroom with his
brother's. Ginger was standing at the toilet looking a bit pissed doing a
piss. He smiled at his completely naked little brother, hoping that he was
a little pissed too. He cocked his head in such a way that Zach knew that
he didn't need to stand in queue, that they could piss at the same
time. Ginger was wearing just a T-shirt, a long one that dangled below his
private parts, but at this moment, was hitched up for the practical matter
of pissing. The flow stopped as Zach stood on the other side of the bowl
and readied himself to release the golden stream. As often happens, it
takes a bit longer to start when there has been a recent ejaculation. The
two boys stood with their cocks facing each other. Ginger tries to
encourage a bit more piss out, but teasing the head has another effect. He
is staring lasciviously at Zach's, and whispers, You can touch it if you
like. He then spits into his hand and starts masturbating. Remaining
completely flaccid, Zach reaches for a bottle of hand lotion and holds it
above Ginger's cock and squeezes it. He then puts the bottle in Ginger's
hand, and instructs him to come to his room in three minutes. Zach washes
his hands, brushes his teeth and smiles at his gorgeous reflection, then
steps back into his room.
    He tiptoes in and sits on the spare bed doing everything possible to
ensure that Jared doesn't hear him. A few minutes later, Ginger gropes
through the dark and climbs into Zach's bed. He yanks the sheet away and
turns Jared flat on his back and kneels between his thighs. The flats of
his hands explore the whole body as he maps the topography he is about to
plunder. He runs his fingernails from Jared's armpits down his sides and
across his buttocks. Jared raises his knees and Ginger's hands squeeze his
buttocks and pull them apart.  Pulling Jared up by the buttocks, Jared is
virtually upside down with his cock pointing at his face, while Ginger's
face is closing in on the space between the forcefully separated
buttocks. Zach watches the whole shebang in silhouette. He does not want to
believe what is about to happen. And yet it does. Ginger's entire face
disappears in his best friend's arse. The best friend stifles a scream of
pleasure, the likes of which are completely unknown to either of the best
friends. Jared reaches for Ginger's cock and squeezes it, starts pumping it
wildly and then sends his hand under the tightened scrotum and presses
against his sphincter. He is shocked to find it well oiled. He massages
around the opening while Ginger's tongue penetrates his innards. Ginger's
fingers find Jared's nipples and he starts pinching them and stretching
them. When he cries out in pain, he releases them and then massages their
pointy tips with his thumbs. Jared is moaning in pleasure from the arse
jabbing. Ginger squeezes his nipples very hard and Jared really does scream
out in pain. Zach can't stand his friend being tortured any longer. It has
been very hard for him. Just as he moves to stand up and drag Ginger away
from him, Jared lets out a rather muffled "beautiful".
    Zach new nothing of pain and pleasure, let alone agony and ecstasy. He
had a loving and caring, tender and wholesome sex life with Amy, and wanted
nothing more. A week of regular sex wouldn't add up to the marathon playing
out before his very eyes. There was never any of this physical stress,
exertion or tension in their love making. He had never sweat having sex. He
had never shouted or screamed or cried. Their tongues had never ventured
south of their nipples.
    Ginger let Jared down so that he was once again lying flat on his
back. He crawled a little forward and leaned down to kiss him. Zach was
about to vomit at the thought of where the tongue that was now in his best
firend's mouth had just spent the last 15 minutes. While they were kissing,
Ginger inched forward a little more and Jared's painfully hard cock
disappeared effortlessly into his arse. Ginger rode him with no let up in
the kissing. Jared wrapped his arms around the thrusting body and felt the
sweat pouring off his back. He slid his open hands around and then took
some of Ginger's precum between his thumbs and forefingers to squeeze his
protruding nipples.
    Glued to the performance, Zach was incredulous that two people who
didn't know each other could perform such acts of intimacy, when he and Amy
were enjoying such an extended period in their explorations of each other's
bodies. They did so frequently and lovingly. It was then that he remembered
that Jared and Ginger were both under the impression that they were with
him. This moment of passion could have been his. The thought terrified
him. Are they going to be grateful for having had each other instead of
him, or are they going to be furious. He is at a complete loss as to why he
embarked on this stupidity. People games are not in his repertoire.
    Ahhhh screamed Ginger as his cum landed on Jared's open mouth. Some
shot into his nostrils. As he half laughed and half screamed in horror, his
own cum coated Ginger's innards. Ginger lent down and licked his cum off
Jared's face and they kissed. He lay down beside him and they held each
other. They gently stroked each others bodies, ran their tongues around
each other's lips, eyebrows, chins, adam's apples, until they fell asleep.
    How they could not wash all the shit and cum and sweat off their bodies
before they went to asleep was beyond Zach. He would have to wash the
sheets himself before his mother got to them on Monday morning. Of greater
concern was Friday morning which was only a few hours away.
    At 6.45 Zach's alarm rang and all three boys awoke. Zach still in the
spare bed, his best friend and his brother in his. He sat on the edge of
the bed and waited. Not for long. The first thing Jared saw was Zach
sitting on the bed on the other side of the room. So whose hand was
dangling on his cock? Zach was expressionless. Jared lifted the sheet and
saw that a black hand at the end of a black arm attached to a black body
was holding him. There had been no wild and wonderful sex with Zach. Jared
is alarmed. He removes the arm, pulls the sheet off them and gazed upon the
beauty that had been employed to fool him into sleeping with the notion
that his life with Zach was to be rich and secure.
    Zach demonstratively cleared his throat. Ginger was staring at the
ceiling. He opened his eyes and rested his hand on Jared's hip, and stroked
him tenderly. All this under Zach's gaze made Jared erect immediately. Zach
too. Ginger reached down and toyed with Jared's foreskin. He started lazily
stroking him, while Jared waited for Zach to do something, say something,
any something. Ginger started to slide down the bed a little for some
morning nourishment. It was then that he saw Jared's face for the first
time. He was startled and knelt up, and saw his brother on the other side
of the room.
    Who are you? he demanded.
    And who are you? Jared demanded. And what are you doing in Zach's
house?
   Jared, this is my brother Ginger. Ginger, this is my best friend
Jared. I believe you've already met, he said with an undisguised
resignation in his voice.
    Zach mentioned his brother countless times, but never that you were so
beautiful, Jared said squeezing Ginger's hand that was still squeezing his
cock.
    Or black, Ginger added.
    My parents adopted him, thinking that they couldn't have children
themselves. He's been my big brother since the day I was born. I don't even
see his colour really.
    And he never mentioned that I was gay?
    To be fair, and I'm not sure he deserves me to be at the moment, but he
didn't know.
    Ginger, excuse me, but I didn't know. I don't understand why you gay
people have to keep it such a big secret. And especially from your
family. Who cares more than your family? You treat your sexuality as some
private members club. A secret society that only the members know.
    Well little brother, a lot of tolerant accepting people are perfectly
fine right up to the defining point, the act itself.
    I haven't slept much. I watched everything you two did last night, so
do not tell me about the act itself.
    It's a bit early for philosophy, Jared snapped. Sending your brother to
bed with me was the best way you could get out of 'the act' yourself? What
was the idea? Jared is pretty annoyed. Perhaps you didn't hear me last
night when I told you that I loved you? No offence Ginger, I had a
fantastic time and I think you did too, but I was under the impression that
it was with your straight brother, my best friend, the person I love more
than anyone else.
    Jared, you also heard me tell you that I love you. And it is true. And
I am really sorry. I don't know why I did this. It's that you and Ginger
seemed to have the same needs at the same time. I don't have to ask either
of you if were satisfied. From what I saw and heard and smelt, ... there
was no need to finish the sentence.
    Ginger ran his tongue down Jared's nose, and bit its tip lightly. Jared
smiled and starting fondling his own balls. They fell into a deep kiss and
wrapped their hands around each other's cocks.
    Suddenly there was knock on Zach's door. It was mother asking if he
were coming down for breakfast. Start without me, he said. Are you alright
honey? she asked. Can I come in? No mum, I'll be down shortly. Have you
seen Ginger? He's not in his room. He's here mum. We'll be down
shortly. After she had gone, Zach locked the door.
    Jared and Ginger had their own personal reasons for wanting to continue
now in front of Zach. They knew he wouldn't leave. Jared started licking
his way down Ginger's neck, nibbling on his Adam's apple before nibbling on
the pointy black nipples. He then knelt between Ginger's thighs and tugged
at his underarm hair. He then slid further down, nibbling on the light
trail of hair that ran from his navel to his pubic bush. He rubbed his nose
in it. And realised how different it was from Zach's, how much lower
Ginger's balls hung and then the penny really dropped - Ginger wasn't
circumcised. Zach was. He then realised that while Zach had a gentle
coating of fine golden hair over much of his body, Ginger's black silky
shiny skin was completely hairless. How on earth could have not known that
he was not basking in his best friend last night. That's how deceptive the
wish in wishful thinking can be.  He sucked on Ginger's balls, stretching
his scrotum between his teeth. Ginger moaned. Jared then went a little
further south and chewed on Ginger's taint. He'd never rimmed anyone before
and didn't think his tongue would be lapping Ginger's sphincter today.
    They both refused to look at Zach, but they could hear him sighing and
moaning as he looked on. Most intensely. Masturbating.
    Jared slid up a little and opened his mouth into a hollow cave and
lowered it over Ginger's cock without touching it. The warm air he exhaled
caused the dry heat to send a warmth from the tip of the ensnared black
cock through the entire body. The tip of his cock grazed the back of his
throat. Jared gently bit into its base and managed to tangle a few jet
black pubes between his teeth.
    Deftly Ginger rotated and took Jared's. They sixty-nined for a few
minutes. Jared could feel his scalp tingling. Ginger wanted more. He wanted
more white boy arse. He tossed him like a pancake so that Jared was in the
same position as he had been during the night - upside down with his cock
pointing at his face. And Ginger's tongue made a forced re-entry.
    After a few minutes of exquisite bliss for all parties, mother knocked
on the door again. I thought you boys were coming. Any second, Zach shouted
through the door. He knew he was about to unload and didn't want to mess
the carpet. He stood up and kept stroking himself. His body was extremely
taut.
    He stepped half way across the room and blew his load the rest of the
way onto Jared's face and onto his cock which was still pointing down
towards his mouth. Had his tongue been a tad longer, he could have licked
its tip at least. Zach had fired a huge load; it made his best friend cough
and splutter. And come. Without even touching himself, he almost
immediately blew his own huge load on his face. Ginger quit rimming,
lowered the boy down, climbed across him and started licking off the two
boys' cum. Zach winced and looked away. Ginger scooped up some cum,
massaged his arse with it, and sat on Jared's still hard and fast
cock. Watch, little brother, he hissed at Zach. Ginger pointed his cock
towards Zach who was still standing quite close, his cock still
firm. Sliding up and down just a few times was enough to force his cum up
the shaft, and Zach could see that it was going to mess the carpet. He bent
down to grab his cum rag from under his bed, but before managing to do so,
Ginger's cum shot into his left ear and coated his neck. He stood up, and
since his brother's seed is not very viscous, it was soon trickling down
his shoulder, his chest, his nipple. Ginger lifted himself off Jared and
lay down beside him, smearing the cum around his cheeks and chin, finger
painting his nose and eyebrows.
    Zach crouched down and looked lovingly on the two boys whose tight hold
on each other was just starting to relax. He scooped some of the cum off
Jared's face and smeared it around his own arse, tugging his scrotum with
his other hand. No-one, not even him, had ever touched his bum. It felt
better than he might have thought. With his thumb and index finger, he
spread his buttocks a tad and sent his middle finger in. He was immediately
erect. The boys were not exactly asleep but their eyes were closed. Zach
started jacking himself frantically. As he neared his third orgasm he was
panting like a 4 minute miler. Ginger's eyes opened slightly to the sight
of his brother still crouching, his finger up his arse and his cock about
to shoot. It was too late to duck. He copped a fine line of cum in his ear
and on his neck.
    Ginger smiled and extended his hand to bring Zach into the circle. But
Zach didn't want anything to do with this gay stuff and stumbled backwards
on the floor, where he lay staring at the ceiling until his father's much
sterner knocking snapped them all out of their reveries. Ginger and Zach
showered together quickly and they ran down to breakfast in their dressing
gowns. As Jared was not supposed to be there, they left him to air the
room, take a leisurely shower and wait for the parents to go to work before
joining them downstairs for a hearty breakfast.

================================================================
Other stories Calvin has posted on Nifty:
http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/interracial/starting-with-phone-sex
http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/college/diving-in
http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/incest/clouding-certainties
http://www.nifty.org/nifty/bisexual/college/robin-john-and-marion

Calvin Corvidian
cancorv@gmail.com
http://gymnop.com