In Pain

^{Season 2}

Chapter 15a

THE OUTING

So, you know the rules...follow them... J.

All persons, names, places, descriptions, and events are purely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, names, places, descriptions, or events is totally accidental and a pure coincidence.

"Hello?" I answered my cell phone a little cautiously.

"Where are you?" my father asked.

"I'm over at Neal and Jake's, just hanging out. Why? What's up?"

My dad took a deep breath. "It's just we haven't seen you all day, that's all and your mother was worried."

I laughed. "Oh dad, it's okay. I'll be home soon, okay? Tell mom not to worry."

We ended the conversation quickly and I turned to Jake, "I gotta go dude. My parents want me home." I felt so bad to have to leave him, but I needed to get home.

I sat up on his bed and looked at him. He looked so cute just laying there. "Walk me to the door?"

"I'd walk you to your bed if you'd let me," he laughed. I laughed back.

I started walking and he jumped off the bed to catch up, grabbing hold of my hand. I quickly turned around and planted my lips on his in the hardest, fiercest kisses of our lives. I undid our hands, putting my right hand on the back of his heads and my left arms around the small of his back, pulling his whole body into mine.

The kiss seemed to last hours, but it was just a minute or so, but in terms of my life moments, it will always rank up near the top. He walked me to the door and kissed me one more time before I walked out to my car and drove home. Well, not home. That was with Jake now.

I went through the normal welcome home routine with my parents which was becoming more and more of a strain with me having to hide my sexuality. No one was out in my school and I in no way wanted to become the first one. Just imagine the former star of the football team coming out, to a school that wasn't ready and to a family that wouldn't be happy. Yeah, not just yet.

School was starting again tomorrow and that meant seeing less of Jake. But it was something I was going to have to deal with.

I made my way to my bedroom to get ready for bed and the rest of my life. Before I got into bed, I wanted to check my email and low and behold I had three new emails! This was totally rare for me. I hardly ever got emails. I had one from Neal, one from Jake and one from a guy named Ryan.

I opened up Neal's first.

Andy, I just wanted to say thanks for the way you've treated my brother. I know how you feel right now and anytime you need to talk, I will do my best to help you and my brother out. You can always trust me to keep things secret and not tell him, so you don't need to worry about it. This is so new for both of you, so just take your time and let things happen. I'll be thinking about both of you. Take care, Neal.

That was really sweet of him to take the time to say that. He really was a great brother and one I would be happy to count as my own.

I decided to read Ryan's email next and see what the new boy wanted.

Hey man,

My name is Ryan and I found your profile online and thought I'd take a chance. I wasn't sure where you lived or really anything about you, but right now I'm just looking for a friend to talk to. I hate having to hide this secret. No one is out at my school and while that sucks because I really don't have a chance to have a boyfriend then, I know in my heart that I am gay and that I want someone to love me.

I came out to my parents a few months ago and they are amazingly supportive and actually, I am kinda ready to tell people. See, the thing about me is that I am pretty well known because of my basketball talent. I'm pretty good...well, lets face it, I'm a freshman basketball player who starts for the varsity. I don't have a big head about myself or anything, don't get that idea, but I am good and when I do decide to come out, I want to tell me team first and then it will just go from there.

I'm not really sure why I emailed you – but I wanted to see if maybe you wanted to be friends...cause I could use one right now.

Hope to hear from you. –Ryan

Could he be any cuter? Damn. I quickly wondered if I would even be able to help him in any way with all my own personal problems. Seriously, how can I help the start of a basketball team come out when I, the star of the football team still hadn't come out? I sat and pondered it for a minute and hit reply.

Ryan,

Wow dude – thanks for the email. I was surprised to get an email – you're only the second person to email since I posted my profile. Anyway, enough about me... I've been sitting here trying to think of how I might be able to help you...and haven't come up with much.

Being in the closet myself and not yet ready to come out for various reasons makes it hard for me to help you. Okay – that came out wrong. But I will do anything I can...and becoming friends is something I could really use. Being a football player, I have a bunch of friends, but one that understands me and the emotions I feel is something I do need and maybe that's how we can help each other.

So, if that's cool with you, you can email me back or call me sometime k? Well, I hope to hear from you.

Take care,

Andy

Wow...that was a weird email and I wasn't even sure what was going to happen with this new Ryan guy. If I had gotten this email a week ago, I'm sure I woulda been thinking...yay...I have a boyfriend! But now I already had one of those in Jake and I didn't want that to change.

Oh yeah...Jake's email! I clicked it and waited in anticipation.

Andrew,

I know that school starts tomorrow and we're going to be seeing less of each other but it's something I am ready for. I took enough of you in the last week.

When you get this, can you call me? I just want to be able to say goodnight to you. I really enjoyed spending so much time with you. When I with you, I just feel like nothing else matters and that I can face anything that would come my way.

Have a great week and Happy New Year!

Jake

I immediately logged off and jumped into bed, grabbing my cell phone on the way. I hit Jake's speed dial and crawled under the covers.

"Hello?" the voice answered. It was a voice on the other end that I had been dying to hear for the last few hours. I had only been hearing it for a few days, but it always seemed to just make me feel at east when everything else was confusing.

"Hey Jakey, what's up man?" I had a huge smile on my face and I never wanted it to go away.

"Oh, just reviewing some notes for a quiz tomorrow morning." I laughed. Who has a quiz on the first day back?!? We talked about our afternoons and how lonely we were without each other. We talked about the upcoming week and what we were going to be doing.

There was something that I really wanted to ask though and really needed to know. "Am I going to be able to see you this week?" I asked quietly.

"I hope so," I responded in a flash. "What do you think could work?" he asked.

I was stumped. I wasn't sure how we'd be able to make mid-week visits work. Then it hit me. "Hey, do you want to go running tomorrow?"

"Sure!" Jake said. "That would be awesome. What time would you want to?"

"Lets meet at Evan Park by the slide at 3:30 and we'll run from there. Is that cool?"

"Yeah, that sounds great Andrew! I'm really excited now." We were silent for a minute then he started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" I demanded.

He kept laughing, "Could...I run behind you?" He couldn't stop laughing.

"Why would you want to do that?"

He was still laughing. "I just want to be able to watch your ass." He got pretty quiet after he said that.

"Jakey, you can watch my ass if you want, but I'd rather you be right beside me. You're mine and I want people to know that."

"Wait, does that mean you're ready to come out?"

I took a deep breath, "No Jake, I'm not ready for that...that's not what I meant. Someday though – it will happen. Trust me."

Jake took a deep breath, "I know and I do trust you."

We talked a little bit more then I realized I needed to get to bed. I was wiped from the whole break and needed a good nights rest.

"Alright Jakey, I need to get to bed. I will see you tomorrow at the park."

"You bet your ass you will. Have a great day tomorrow!"

And then it was good-night. I pulled the covers up and wrapped myself in them for a full nights sleep. It was interrupted about an hour later with my phone ringing.

I reached over to my bed-stand and looked at who would be calling me at this hour. I didn't recognize the number, but it was from my area code, so I decided I had better answer it.

"Hello?" I asked.

I could hear someone on the other end of the line but I couldn't tell who it was. I could hear them breathing. "Hello?" I asked again getting frustrated that someone would do this to me at this hour.

Then I heard whoever was on the other end take a deep breathe, "Um, sorry for calling so late, but you said I could call you?" I was taken aback. I had no idea who this was.

"Don't get mad at me, but who are you?" I felt bad asking because apparently I had made an impression on this person, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Plus I had been in a deep sleep, finally able to relax after a week and a half of crazy life changes.

"Oh, sorry. This is Ryan. You emailed me back earlier tonight. I thought you could talk for a minute? If not that's okay, I understand."

Wow...Ryan was calling me. This is really odd. I didn't think he'd actually ever call, but here he was calling me just an hour after I had emailed him back and here I was; talking back.

"Oh yeah man, I'm sorry. It's just you woke me up and I didn't remember. What's up? Are you okay?"

"Well, not really. Can I ask you a really serious question?"

I thought about that for a moment. And I thought, `yeah, what's the harm?' "Sure, go ahead."

He took a deep breath, "Do you go to Kennedy High?" Wow...that made me sit straight up and start sweating – literally. Who the hells was this guy?!?! What had I missed? Who was fucking with me? This wasn't even close to being funny.

I finally snapped back to reality and responded, "Why?"

"Well, that's where I go and I thought if you did too, maybe you'd be open to meeting up tomorrow so we could talk in person." I just sat there. This was so totally unexpected, I had no idea how to respond. I just wanted to go back to bed and forget this whole thing was happening. "If not, it's no big deal, but I just wanted to talk to someone who is like me."

"Oh no man, it's just..." I paused. I needed to say this with all the delicateness I could find. "It's just I'm not out yet and I don't really want to be."

He laughed. "Oh I know dude and trust me, your secret will be safe with me. I know what it's like, remember? It's just I do want to come out and want to talk with someone about it."

"Ah, I see. I'm not sure how much help I can be, but sure, we can talk," which was about all I could say. I was scared shitless to be honest.

"Can I ask you one more question?"

"Sure."

"Do you play football?" came the voice at the other end of the line. This was it. The end of my life. Whoever this guy was messing with me and I was going to get outted and that was going to be that. No more life, no more friends, no more family. Almost as if sensing the blood rushing to my head and the thoughts fighting inside, Ryan said, "Hey, like I said, don't worry, okay? I mean that. You will be safe with me." He paused and I couldn't say anything to fill the silence. "Really, I'm sorry I asked. I shouldn't have. If you don't want to meet, I understand."

I shook my head into the phone, almost begging him to not do this to me. "No Ryan, it's okay. I'm sorry. It's just this is so totally unexpected. I mean...wow. I just don't know what to say."

We talked for a few more minutes and decided when we'd meet. Ironically enough, we had a study hall together, so we'd both just go to the `library' and talk.

We were near the end of our conversation and it was time for me to go back to bed.

"Ryan," I started, "Thanks for calling tonight. I mean it. This is going to take awhile to get used to, but I really am glad you called."

He giggled, just like Jake does, "I'm glad I called too. I'll see you tomorrow."

And we both hung up. Tomorrow was going to be a crazy day.

To Be Continued...

In Pain Contest Announcement!!!!

WRITE IT

Think you have what it takes to write a chapter for "In Pain"? Can you capture all the characters - - Andrew, Jacob, Neal, Kole & Mike in one chapter?

The person who is selected will have certain requirements, that way the story doesn't lose what I have built on, but will have pretty much editorial control. If you're interested in being the lucky

one - fill out the following information and EMAIL... EMAIL it to me at andygaywriter@yahoo.com. Please get your applications into me no later than April 15th. I will select the lucky winner shortly

thereafter and let you start writing.

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