Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2008 07:37:49 -0800 (PST)
From: Richard Mark <andygaywriter@yahoo.com>
Subject: In Pain

In Pain
Season 2 | Chapter 20
The First Date

You know the rules...follow them.

All persons, names, places, descriptions, and events are purely fictional.
Any resemblance to actual persons, names, places, descriptions, or events
is totally accidental and a pure coincidence.

This is a love story.

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the author, or read past stories. The story is posted on the group before
they are posted on Nifty.  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andygaywriter16

:::

I was flying high. The workout had gone well and here I was: In my car on
my way to pick up my date; a date with Jake!

The day had been a cluster of the same thing: me thinking about
tonight. How could I focus? The night before I had stood up to my dad for
the first time in my life and had a great night with my brother. And I
tried to focus as school, I really did. But that wasn't a successful
mission. My mind kept drifting to the date. At least the workout helped
relax me and release some of my nervousness and energy.

It was also especially welcoming to have a nice surprise workout with a
friend and to experience no gay-bashing from my sudden outburst. It had
long been a fear of mine that I wouldn't be able to be the same person I
was after I finally would admit to myself and the world that I was in fact:
gay. But today dispelled part of that thinking.

I'm sure I broke all kinds of speed records getting home from the gym and
then out of my sweaty clothes that were clinging to every inch of my
body. I jumped in the shower and didn't even think to play with myself like
I had a few days before.

I did however this time take a moment to pay special attention to that area
of my body. I wasn't sure where tonight might lead and I wasn't even sure
if I wanted it or was ready for it. My mind drifted to analyzing whether or
not I was ready to feel Jake's naked skin. To look and touch and smell
something so private it only happens in dreams of boys. I know I didn't
need it at this point and still being a virgin, I wanted to be sure I was
ready to give that away. All I wanted from tonight was my first date. I
wanted to hold the hand of my boyfriend. I wanted to open the door for him
and smile and laugh with him. That is what tonight was all about.

Everything clean and sparkly, I reached down like many times before to turn
off the refreshing spray and as I stood back up, I could feel a smile
coming on. I could feel the water droplets running down my body. Dripping
off my hair, landing on my pecs, and sliding down my abs, to the manhood
below.

I almost slipped getting out of the shower as my mind had already shifted
to something much more important: looking great. I admired myself for the
just a moment, then it was back to lightning preparation speed. Wrapping
the towel around my waste, I ran across the hall and into my room, shutting
the door behind me.

What to wear?! I stood in front of the closet that was literally bursting
at the hinges. Do I wear a button-down? Button-down with a sweater over? A
nice polo? Do I go all-out with a tie? Oh man! All day I had been dreaming
of tonight and this whole `what to wear' dilemma could ruin me!

Looking at my watch made my decision for me. I went with the safe move. I
chose this blue, long- sleeve button-down that I tucked into my hottest
pair of jeans. I took that chance to adjust myself one last time.

I grabbed my favorite cologne and sprayed just enough on me to give me that
sense of `is that you and if so, I want you.'

Before I knew it, I was on my way to Jake's. I hope he was as nervous as I
was. It was his first date with anyone. I had at least taken Vanessa to
Homecoming. But, regardless, tonight were our first dates with another boy.

I pulled up to his house and I could tell by the tire tracks and open
garage door that his dad had just gotten home.

All of a sudden, I realized like a ton of bricks crashing down, that I
hadn't ever really been formally introduced to his parents. I realized that
by picking him up at his house that I was going to have to meet them. I
could picture it now:

I walk in and his father's eyes land on me. My eyes hit the ground and
start saying, "yes, sir" to anything he asks. Then, not paying attention,
he asks, "Do you intend to have sex with my son?" To which, I say, "Yes,
Sir."

I took a deep breath, did a quick cross of the chest, and looked at myself
one last time in the mirror.  Game on.

My smile just automatically appeared on my face as I walked up the
drive. It was one of those cold- gray nights here in the north where the
clouds never seem to be moving and the wind, while not blowing all that
hard, it just bitter cold. I couldn't feel it tonight though. My blood was
boiling over with excitement, anticipation.

I felt my smile disappear as soon as I rang the bell. It was one of those
fancy bells that sounded like it was calling a door-man and a guy named
Jeeves would answer the door and say, "Master Godfrey, your date awaits you
in the library."

Of course, that didn't happen. What did happen was my smile reappeared on
my face when I saw the boy behind the door. It was him. I couldn't help but
stare. How could I not?

>From the moment I saw him I knew he was hot. But tonight was really the
first time I thought he was gorgeous. There he stood in the entryway to his
house, holding out his hand to me. I'm not sure how long I had been
daydreaming, looking at the prince before me when I heard him say, "Come in
for a minute?"

I came back from my trance, smiled even broader, and reached for his hand.

I could tell he was nervous and it was good to know that I wasn't the only
one.

There we stood in the entryway. I was too scared to move or even say
anything. Jake was just standing there, holding my hand. "Is everything
okay?" he asked, leaning in so only I could hear.

I looked at him, and squeezed his hand. "Everything is just fine, Jacob."
Then I smiled again.

"Good," he said. Then he threw his arms around me and I threw my arms
around him. I inhaled slightly as his arms wrapped even tighter and I could
feel our chests pressed tightly together.

When we broke our embrace, he took a step back and his facial expression
changed. "Jacob, what is it?" I asked.

He hesitated for a moment, "Well, this is the first date I've ever been
on... and so of course I'm nervous. But my parents are making it worse with
their worry and their questions." Then he paused...  struggling with
something – a battle wagging in his head, but one he knew and I could
tell that he had to let out. "They want to meet you Andy."

I sighed. "I figured they'd want to," I said. Then I looked at him and I
could see the smile creeping onto his face. Even with the worried look no
doubt plastered across my face, he smiled wider.

This was all so new to me. If it had to do with football, chances are, I'd
experienced it. Fourth and inches to win the game? Done it. Fourth and 27
in the rain? Done it. Play with a broken bone? Done it. I knew I could do
those things.

But meet the parents of the boy I am dating, unchartered waters. "Okay,
lets do it," I said as his chin literally hit the floor. "Where are they?"

"They're in the den," he said shyly as I laughed quietly.

He reached for my hand as we walked towards the flickering fire. It was a
pretty surreal moment. We reached the entryway, my hand still in his; I
could feel the sweat between us.

Through his hand I felt him take a deep breath, "Mom... Dad, Andy is here."
They both shifted in their seats. They both had their backs to me, sitting
close to the fire. His dad was on the left, sitting in a chair and his mom
was sitting close to his dad, on the loveseat.

"Well, don't be a stranger, come on in," his dad bellowed.

He stepped forward and I followed, our arms stretching with the distance
between us. We walked to the right, around the other end of the room. He
stopped in front of the fireplace, me beside him, still holding his hand.

"Mom... Dad, I'd like you to meet my boy-..." he stopped and I saw his head
turn towards mine, almost asking for my approval to use the word.

"His boyfriend," I finished for him. I released his hand and stepped
forward with my hand outstretched. "Mrs. Howell and Mr. Howell, it's a
pleasure to finally meet you both." They both shook my hand and gave their
compliments back.

Then the awkward silence. "Andy," his father said, "why don't you have a
seat so we can talk a bit?"

I looked over at Jake and smiled. Here we go. I stepped back and sat down
in the chair directly across his dad. Jake sat down on the mantle, our
hands no longer touching.

"I've heard a lot about you Andrew," his mother began. I laughed.

"I hope it's all good," I said looking at Jacob with a look of funny
worry. It wasn't the, `I'm scared of this situation' look. It was more,
`this is uncomfortable talking with my parents about my boyfriend' kinda
feeling. I silently wondered if straight people got this feeling as well.

"Of course it is!" she exclaimed. "I remember the first night you emailed
him, he was so giddy."

"Mom!" Jake burst out.

"Oh, come on Jacob, it's no big deal," she said, trying to calm down her
son to no avail. "I thought it was cute," she said to me, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I will say I've enjoyed getting to know Jacob the last month or so
but it was Neal who set up our first meeting," I said.

"I do know that," she said back. "Neal was so worried that he came to me to
make sure it'd be okay to surprise you both."

"Well, it certainly was a surprise," I said. I turned and looked at Jake
who was just listening intently to the conversation. "But it was a welcome
one."

"You played well in the championship game," his father finally said.

"Oh, you had to bring that up!" I laughed rolling my eyes.

"Seriously, you and your team played extremely hard. You should be proud of
your effort; all things considered, you did play with a broken finger," he
said backing up his argument.

I thought back to the game and how much had been weighing on me back then
and how much was still weighing on me today. "Yeah, I am proud of
it. Obviously I wish it would have turned out differently, but I'm on to
bigger and better things now."

"Yes," he said, "about that." He took off his reading glasses and rubbed
his forehead. "I know I don't know you all that well, but from what I know,
you love football much like my sons. So, what made you quit the team?"

I took a deep breath, "There are a lot of reasons. But the two biggest ones
deal with being gay." Wow, I'd said the word. "With the guys on the team
and how they act, it was just going to be too hard to remain the team
leader. Secondly, it was time for me to do something for me, to take
control of my own life for once."

He seemed to take a moment to digest all that I had said. It seemed to only
take a few seconds, then he nodded his head, slid his glasses back onto his
face, "I can understand that."

That was it? That's all he was going to ask? Wow.

"Well boys," his mother said, "when will you be home?"

Jake looked at me, unsure of the plans. I had kept them top secret. "I have
made reservations for eight, so we should be home by ten or ten thirty at
the latest."

"Okay," she said nodding her approval. "If you're going to be later than
that, call okay?"

Jake stood up, "Well, I guess if we have reservations, we'd better be
going?"

His mother and father both stood as well, so I followed suit. They followed
us out of the library, down the hall, into the entryway. They we
stood. Mr. and Mrs. Howell, my boyfriend Jacob, and myself.

Mrs. NAME stepped forward and gave Jake a hug and Mr. NAME did the same to
me. To say I was a little surprise would be the understatement of the
year. It wasn't one of those short, `have a good time' hugs either. He held
on. He held on like a father would.

Then I heard him whisper, "Have a good time. If you ever need to talk, this
door is always open."

He released and then looked me in the eyes. He meant it.

I got a quick hug from his mother, then the door opened and Jacob was
practically yanking me out the door. Maybe some day I could spend more time
with them.

* * * * * We climbed into my car, shut our doors, looked at each other, and
let out a collective sigh of relief.

"Well, that could have gone worse," I said laughing.

"Much worse," he said. "They could have noticed my hard-on while I was
watching you talk," he said leaning in to kiss me on the cheek.

I felt the blood rush to my face as I started us on our way to one of my
favorite restaurants.

About halfway there, Jacob reached for my hand and just held it there in
the middle console. He was using his thumb to rub my hand while I steered
the car with the other hand.

The drive seemed to take forever. The restaurant I chose was actually in a
neighboring town. I knew that because I was still in the closet to all but
five people, it would be hard to have a real date with my boyfriend. So, I
drove the 15 miles to the closest town to us, to a place where no one would
know who we were.

I parked in the back of the lot, giving me plenty of time to hold Jake's
hand on the walk to the front door. I undid my seatbelt, opened my door and
hopped out, hoping to get to the other side in time, but Jake didn't let me
open the door for him. He joined me at his door. Then he realized what I
was trying to do.

"Shall I get back into the car?" he asked, laughing slightly.

"No," I said teasingly. "But you'd better let me get the door for you after
dinner. He reached out and gave me a hug.

"Thanks for asking me out." That took me by surprise.

"Let's make sure I don't screw things up," I said grabbing his shoulders
and winking at him.

He laughed then started for the door.

I grabbed at his hand, stopping him. "Wait," I said pulling him back to
me. Right there in the parking lot, I forced his lips onto mine. I broke
our embrace, tousled his hair and started our walk to the night that
awaited us.

For my first date with Jacob, I'd chosen a place called "Jio" this classic,
romantic, quiet; a place where dreams come true. Tonight was one of mine.

We were ushered to our seats by the hostess and we followed her down this
long hallway, with private rooms on the right and a long wine rack on the
left. Behind that was a center area with tables all around. They were
filled with families celebrating birthdays and couples sharing a night with
friends.  For some, maybe it was an anniversary date or others, a break-up
date. For us, for me, tonight was a night I had been waiting for since I
first realized I was gay. Tonight, I was putting the world's opinion to
pasture and I was going to be me.

She led us around the corner to the left and to a quiet area in the
back. There were only eight or so tables in this section, some only big
enough for two. She put us at a table for four, a square. I stopped at the
first chair, put my sweaty palm on the back, and pulled it out. With my
other hand, I motioned for Jacob to sit down. He did and then I helped to
slide him in. I walked in front of the girl who couldn't have been more
than 17 or 18, and as I sat down in my seat. I didn't sit opposite Jacob, I
sat right beside him. I reached for my napkin and looked back at her, I
could tell she knew.

She knew.

She knew and she smiled. Then it was just us.

I hadn't even picked up the menu to look at what I want. I was starving,
especially after the work I'd had just a few hours before, but here I was
and I all I wanted was sitting right next to me.

I'm sure he sensed my eyes on him and he looked up from this menu. His eyes
caught mine; caught them like a criminal with his hands in the loot. I
didn't look away. We just locked on and didn't break.

Without breaking, I reached with my left hand for his – found it –
and grabbed on. In this moment, in this place, I was with my boyfriend. I
couldn't have been happier. Even with all the battles I still have to face
in the short-term and in the long-term, in this crazy world, here I was,
Andrew Godfrey, on a date with Jacob NAME.

We finally broke our gaze, but not our hands when our waitress arrived.  We
didn't get an appetizer, just entrees. I think deep down, we just wanted to
be with each other and imagine no one else was around.

We started to talk about our days, what we had done, who we'd spoken to. We
got on the topic of his brother and where he was going to go play football
next year. There wasn't anything significant, but we were just talking.

Because we never really had the opportunity, in a relaxed environment to
just spend time together, this was really our first time. Based on the
initial conversation, we were doing okay in that department.

Our food arrived and we were again forced to abandon our gaze. Our plates
in place and our palettes ready, Jacob reached for his knife and fork when
I stopped him.

"Wait," I said.

"What?" Jacob asked.

I reached for my glass of water. It wouldn't be as romantic as wine or even
beer, but it would have to do. I picked it up and moved it towards the open
space between us. I eyes were focused on my food, trying to find the words.

"Here's to a wonderful first date and hopefully many more," I said
motioning him to join me in my toast.

"And to my wonderful brother Neal who set us up," Jacob added.

Our glasses clinked together, we sipped, but again, our eyes were
locked. There was something else that was similar: our smiles. I don't
think we'd stopped since I first grabbed his hand.

We ate in relative silence. Me because I was hungry, him I wasn't sure
about. The smile was a pretty good sign, but I was hoping I was doing
everything right – or that I didn't have lettuce on my teeth or
something.

"Is everything okay, Jacob?" I asked, worriedly.

He put his knife and fork down on his plate, grabbed my free hand and said,
"Of course it is Andrew."  He looked down at our hands locked together and
then to his plate of food. After a moment, he looked back at me, "This is
just a dream come true, that's all. I really can't believe I'm sitting here
with you; that we're on a date. That you're holding my hand."

I started to blush and I smiled at him. At the same time I squeezed his
hand, I leaned out of my chair, using my legs to balance me and I leaned
forward and placed my lips on his. It was unexpected, it was unplanned and
it was certainly a risk. I had never been so brazen in all my life. But I
felt the electricity flow though our lips as they met. It was smooth and
soft. As our lips broke, my eyes opened and found his. They were glistening
in the dim light. His lips, moist from the kiss shone through and it
grabbed my heart.

I leaned back in and planted my lips on his. This time is was a quick kiss,
but one that would show him how happy I was at that very moment.

I could have died right there in that restaurant and I would have died a
happy teenager. I still had a lot I wanted to accomplish, but I was well on
my way to becoming someone I would forever be proud of.

I looked at Jacob, our date nearing its conclusion.

"Jacob, we have to get going if we're going to get you home on time," I
said, saddened by the fact the night was ending much faster than I ever
wanted it to.

There would be more dates I'm sure, but this one was special. It was a
first for us both. It had been perfect. A dream. A wish. A foretaste of my
life to come.

:::

Personal: First of all, I want to thank Starbucks for this chapter. I wrote
it about two weeks ago while enjoying a nice evening. I also want to thank
the way too affectionate couple who came in while I was typing this. It was
a straight couple and they came in holding hands. It was cute. Not the
whole...  making out thing, but showing love. It's now February and life
continues to be very crazy and busy. I will also announce how much remains
of In Pain in the next chapter – so stay tuned.

Go Patriots!

:::

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