In Pain
Season 2 | Chapter 22
...and then there were two
You know the rules...follow them.
All persons, names, places, descriptions, and events are purely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, names, places, descriptions, or events is totally accidental and a pure coincidence.
This is a love story.
Join my Yahoo Group where you can discuss the story, ask questions of me, the author, or read past stories. The story is posted on the group before they are posted on Nifty. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andygaywriter16
DO YOU WANT TO OWN A COPY OF `IN PAIN'?
I am working with my editor right now to see if there is
enough interest to publish In Pain. BUT -- we need to hear from you! Please
e-mail me at andygaywriter@yahoo.com
with the subject line "IP Book" if you'd be interested in purchasing the book.
The price range would be between $10-15 (American) plus
shipping. In your message, please indicate if you live in the
:::
Our basketball team qualified for the playoffs last week and now we are going to go to the state tournament in two weeks. I couldn't wait.
Much like when the football team went to the championship game, the school was now in basketball fever. There were posters and balloons and posters announcing buses and hotel deals for students. In a word, it was, perfect.
For the first time since it happened, the school was focused on something other than me quitting the team. Of course, because it was the boy's basketball team, the local media was again talking about the `gay freshman star.' I know from talking with Ryan he was tired of it and the school was tired of it. But that didn't stop parents and people in the community from talking about it.
It was also perfect for Ryan. Even though he was now in the news for being gay -- again -- he had a platform to focus on the positives of being a gay athlete. He could focus on how he's still one hell-of-a-basketball player. And of course, he had a chance to win a championship!
It had always bothered me that I had missed Kole on that last pass of the season and what ended up being the last pass of my career. I had a chance to win a ring and I missed it. It would have gone down in the history books. But I had been playing with a broken finger along with a broken heart. It wasn't to be.
I didn't connect on that pass. Neal Godfrey was the hero instead. Then I kissed his brother.
I only hoped that Ryan would have a different fate than I. Maybe he would hit the winning shot and get to kiss his boyfriend on television. Of course, he didn't have a boyfriend, but it would be a great statement.
There were clouds rolling in as I pulled up to my favorite coffee shop to enjoy a nice evening with Neal. We hadn't spoken with each other for a long time. Although I'd seen him around his house, Jake and I were always doing homework in his room, or working out or... making out. And no one needed to see that.
I walked in and it was a breath of fresh-air. The aroma of coffee beans filled my nose like the grass of the field always had. There were friends catching up and families enjoying a nice Sunday afternoon together.
I would be doing the former. I saw Neal sitting at a single table with his cookie on a plate next to his steaming cup of coffee. He always ordered the bold blend. Nothing special, just coffee with sugar and cream.
For me, I was always a mocha. I'd try different blends, but it was always espresso-based. It tasted better to me.
Neal saw me approaching and stood up and gave me a huge hug. I'd missed it since the last time he'd given me one. I'd tried to make a point of giving Mike more hugs. I wanted to continue to build up our relationship. I wanted something akin to Neal & Jake.
I sat down and smiled.
"What's up Andy?" Neal asked, smiling back.
"Nothing."
"Right, because I'm really going to believe that," Neal said.
"Nah, it's just everything. School is going well. Your brother and I are doing well. My brother and I are getting along really well. I don't know, things are just getting better."
He chuckled at me. Then I chuckled back.
Neal had become one of my most trusted friends. I hadn't known him from Adam before the random instant message months ago. There would be weeks where we wouldn't talk, but other weeks where we'd talk almost every day. I know he was an angel sent from somewhere to not only help me accept me, but also to find me my first love.
I'd known of Neal way before I'd met him in person -- outside the football field. He was the best quarterback in our region and bound for college football.
"So Neal, where are you going to go play next year?" I asked him.
"Well, I've only told my family and my girlfriend, but I suppose I can trust you."
"Dude! Of course you can trust me!" I begged.
"Well, a lot of schools were looking at me, especially after winning
the championship, but I want to make sure I give myself a chance to play and
get better. A lot of the recruiters said I might be able to go pro if I make
the right choice... which of course didn't make it any easier. Anyway...
I decided that
Wow! I was blown away.
"Neal," I said, close to speechless, "that's awesome! You're going to do great there!"
"I hope so man. It's going to be one of the biggest challenges of my
life, but I'm ready for it." We sat in silence for a few moments while we both
thought of what to say next. "I mean, if I can walk in on my brother making out
with friend of mine... a guy friend nonetheless, then I can certainly handle
I burst out laughing. I hope he and I stayed friends for the rest of my life. He's already been a great friend to me and a great brother to Jake. Without him, I don't know where I'd be today.
"Enough about me, tell me about you. How's school? How's your family? How's your boyfriend?" Neal pressed.
I started to blush.
"Okay forget the other stuff, how's the boyfriend?" he said laughing.
"He and I are doing great. The date was awesome. I was so nervous to meet your parents. I don't think I stopped shaking until we reached the restaurant. But it was amazing. Aside from homecoming last year, it was my first date and I think... I know it went well."
I paused -- reliving the date in my mind.
"I know I've struggled with a lot of things in the last year. But I tell ya, it felt great to hold his hand walking into the restaurant. It felt great to be me in public. I don't know, it just feels good to be me finally. I just wish I could do it all the time."
"What do you mean?" Neal asked.
"You know how it is: my family doesn't know about me. Not even my brother. My dad flipped when I quit the team, just imagine what he'll do when he finds out I'm queer."
"Hey man, he's your dad. He may not react like mine did, but he's still going to love you. He's still going to support you and want the best for you."
I suppose he was right. I'd lived with my parents for 16 years. I'd loved them and they'd loved me. Maybe they would be okay.
My life had changed a lot since Neal first befriended me. It would only continue to grow and change and evolve into something I had only imagined a year ago.
We continued to talk about his football future, finals, the best places to take Jake on dates, and how to tell my parents. By the time we were done, it had been hours.
Even though I had a ton of homework to do, I was full with energy. My friends always did that to me. I was also excited for the future of my life. For tomorrow, for next week, for next year.
I pulled up to my house just as the sun was starting to set. It was just one of those perfect evenings for walking the dog or taking a walk with someone special. The sun was just atop the trees and catching some moisture in the air causing a glistening early spring sunset.
Right after walking through the front door, my mother called out from the kitchen to help her unload the groceries. I obliged and walked to the garage and grabbed as many bags as I could. I think in total it was five bags plus a gallon of milk.
Walking back into the kitchen, I could feel my pants pocket vibrating... demanding my immediate attention, and coincidentally teasing a certain part of me. I sat all the bags down on the counter and reached into my pocket and using my shoulder to hold the phone, I answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey cutie!" Jake exclaimed.
"Hey, what's up?" There was no way that I was going to use the word `cutie'. That would only open an entire bag of questions I was not prepared to handle at this very moment.
"I just got home from the gym and I know I'm going to be all gross and sweaty, but can you come over quick?"
I began to imagine the last time I'd been with him and he had been all sweaty from running. I think I liked it when he was like that.
"Sure... half hour sound okay? I'm helping my mom with the groceries right now."
I'm sure I was blushing quite heavily despite my best efforts to hide my excitement at getting to see Jake.
"Who was that?" my mother asked.
"Huh?" I asked, coming back from my trance.
"Who was on the phone?"
Scrambling to find an answer, but the one that I kept using when I would find myself in this quandary, "Kole. He said he left a book in my truck. I'll just run it over there."
"Just don't be late for dinner."
Bolting out the door, I'd barely said hello and good-bye to my mother. At this point, she wouldn't understand why I was so excited. I'd been excited to see Kole before, but that was when we were ten. I was almost 17 now and should be past that. Little did she know where I was going. I was going to see my boyfriend! I was probably going to get a kiss from him too. A kiss that would mean more to me than so many other kisses I'd seen in the movies and seen with her and dad. To me, my kiss symbolized a sense of belonging. A sense that I was indeed okay with me. I really needed my parents to see that.
I needed them to see that despite all the questions going on in their heads about what was going on with me, I was going to be okay. I still had questions about how I would tell them in the end. I wasn't even sure how I'd tell Mike. With the growth of our relationship as of late, I didn't want anything to screw that up. But I also knew that in order to grow together, to be real friends and brothers, he'd need to know. And I'd need him when I told mom and dad.
Suddenly worrying about the future, I happily opened my door and stepped into the waiting arms of Jake who'd run out from the back yard when he heard my truck coming.
He of course was still sweaty -- as promised.
I kissed him on the lips and he smiled. I smiled back.
"So, what was so important that I had to lie to my mother to come over here?" I said stroking his hair.
He blushed... then turned and ran. Boy did I love seeing that ass run. I'd still never actually seen it without apparel, but my imagination was doing wonders to me right now.
He looked back briefly but not stopping. I smiled and began chase. He rounded the corner towards the back of his house and soon thereafter, I followed the same path.
I caught his ass in my sights again as he rounded the corner and went into the backyard, just out of view.
I kept chasing.
Rounding the corner I saw him sitting down. I stopped dead in my tracks.
He was sitting on the back deck at the table. The table was covered with flower pedals, with a vase full of flowers. All colors. All sizes. All shapes.
It was beautiful.
I walked slowly up to him and as I got closer, he stood up and pulled out the chair next time him and motioned for me to sit down next to him.
To say I was confused would be a major understatement. I had no idea what was happening.
"Jake," I said looking around and then back at him looking for the answer so I wouldn't have to ask it. "What's going on?"
My eyes were fixated on his; still begging for information. I saw his hand leave the top of the table and slowly slide down to where mine was resting and slowly opened it up to make a place for his to rest.
My tension eased a bit, but wasn't gone. I still didn't understand this whole event that was taking place.
"Andy, first of all, don't worry," he said, reassuring me with his eyes.
"What's all this for?" I asked.
He smiled. "Have I told you how much fun the date was?"
"Only like a million times. Jake, you know I had a great time too."
He smiled. "Yeah, but you also know that was my first date. In my wildest dreams I just... I..."
"Jake, I agree," I interrupted.
He smiled. "It's just I've seen so many of my friends go on dates and enjoy them so much they can't shut up about it. I've seen my brother brings girls home and mom and dad fawn over them. And when I finally had my first date, my parents fawned over you."
"They did?"
"Of course Andy! They love having you around," he said, still smiling. "I kinda like having you around too."
Now I smiled. "Well, I like being around too. I really like learning more about you. I love holding your hand. I love kissing you. I love smiling and laughing. I really can't describe how cool it is to feel like me when I'm with you."
"I know the feeling," Jake said.
He paused. It looked like he was searching for words... tougher words. Now I was getting nervous.
"Jake... what's up?" I said giving his hand a squeeze.
"Do you know what this week is?"
My mind started to race. What had I missed? Surely Neal would have told me if it were his birthday or his parents' anniversary. Was it Neal's birthday? Was it mine? I couldn't think!
"Um..." I started, hoping a great epiphany would come, "I really don't have any idea... I'm sorry."
He smiled. Again with the smile.
"Well, this Friday is Sadie Hawkins dance and I was wondering if you'd want to go with me and be my date?"
That was something I hadn't been expecting. Subconsciously my hand relaxed its grip on Jake's hand. My eyes drifted towards the table covered in flowers.
For me. Jake had done this whole thing for me. He'd probably planned this out from the moment our first date ended. How could I say no?
But then again, how could he do this to me? He knew I wasn't out yet. This would certainly finish that journey.
How could he put me in this position? Besides being unfair, he was asking me to do something he knew I wasn't ready for.
My eyes drifted back up towards his and his smile started to slide.
"Jake," I said squeezing his hand again, "you know I'd love to go with you. But the fact is, you know I'm not ready for our schools to know yet."
His smile now completely gone; his eyes traced the table of pedals.
"Jake, you certainly know I'm not ready to tell my parents yet."
"But it's my school. No one will know you there," he said strongly enough to surprise me.
"Like hell they won't!" I said harsher than I'd planned. "But think about it... two guys go to the dance... together. People are going to figure out who it is. Teenagers aren't stupid."
Releasing my hand and placing his together on top of the table, he took in a deep breath.
"Why can't you do this for me? For us? For you?"
"Jake, believe me, I want to."
Then we sat in silence. The only noise was coming from his hands which were playing with the pedals, tossing some aside, tearing others and smelling them.
"I promise I will do it when I'm ready. But the fact of the matter is, I'm not ready to tell everyone yet."
Without hesitation, almost as if he knew the rejection was coming, he asked, "Can I ask you something?"
I nodded.
"Do you even want to be dating me?"
I reached across the table, taking both of his hands in mine. "Of course I want to be dating you. You're an awesome guy and have I ever told you the way my heart jumps when I see your number pop up on my phone? The way I smile more now than ever before? You're an amazing guy Jacob and I would be a fool to not want to be dating you." I paused for a moment making sure my sentiment was heard. "Do you want to be dating me is the more important question I think."
"I'd like to. But at some point, I want to tell my teammates. I want to tell my school. You've helped me reach that final step. And I want to be totally me... with you beside me."
"Well?" I asked.
"Yeah, I still want to be your boyfriend."
We smiled at each other. I leaned forward and placed my lips on his. I held him there for a moment... making sure he felt the love from my heart, through my lips, to his.
"Will you still take me out on a date this Friday?" I asked.
"Without a doubt."
=-=-=-=-=
I was focused on my second date with Jake when my father poked his head into my room. "Do you have a date for the dance tonight," he asked.
"Dad, you startled me," I responded, angry that he'd disrupted my daydream.
"Sorry."
I turned and went back to getting ready, hoping to land back in my daydream.
"Well?" my father persisted.
"Oh, sorry," I said angrily, still upset that he was bothering me. In that moment, I felt something. I wasn't sure if I was mad at him, mad at me, or mad at the whole situation. I'd never really been mad at my father, save a few fights here and there. All told, he'd always been a great dad. All the changed a few months ago.
I'm not sure the exact date or the reasoning behind the change in our relationship, but he wasn't acting like my full-time dad anymore. He didn't have any idea what was going on with me and never once had he sought to fin out. He'd never come to my room to ask for my real reason why I'd quit football. Not once.
Now I was treating him coldly because he'd simply stopped being my dad.
"Nah, no one asked me, so a bunch of us are getting together for dinner and then going to one of the after-parties."
He shrugged, obviously disappointed his son hadn't been asked. "Remember
to be home by
Tonight I was going to look good. Not only were we going out to dinner again, but we were in fact going to a party. I wanted to look like a stud. We weren't going to the party as a couple, Neal and his girlfriend were going to provide the cover and I knew Jake wasn't completely satisfied with this date.
Turning him down was one of the hardest things I'd ever done and quite possibly one of the meanest. All Jake really wants is to be himself. That's all I really want as well. But he knew I wasn't ready for that challenge, for that bridge. I knew that I loved him and wanted him to know every second of the day that I did, but for now, we needed to hide.
I stood in front of the mirror, admiring what God had given me. I was one fine young man. I was also dating one fine young man, who in my opinion was the man of my dreams.
After dressing, I admired the guy looking back at me in the mirror. Dark blue jeans, a black stripped button down with a light blue tie loose around the neck. Tonight was going to be great.
I winked at the guy in the mirror and smiled. He smiled back. I left my room and walked down towards Mike's room. He too was getting ready for a great night with friends.
His girlfriend had asked him and of course he'd said yes. He was dressed just like a typical junior high guy. Just jeans, polo shirt which was untucked, and perfect hair -- just like his brother.
"Hey bro, what's going on?" he asked seeing me in the doorway.
"Oh nothing much," I said leaning on the doorway. "Just getting ready to head out for dinner with friends and then a party."
"Sounds like a good plan. Maybe I'll see ya out there," he said and I nodded back.
I was going to a party across town and I was going to be with my boyfriend. He wouldn't see me. No one would.
=-=-=-=-=
I couldn't stop smiling. Jake had planned a great evening and from my vantage-point, he was not even thinking about my refusal to going to the dance.
We finished our dinner and just hung out together. We talked. We smiled. We laughed. Just like our first date.
I really admired him for how he was handling our relationship. Obviously I would never have been able to be as comfortable with my sexuality as he was with his at his age.
Now I was basically pulling him to stay in the closet until I was going to be ready to come out to everyone. It wasn't fair to hold him in. I hated doing that. I wouldn't let anyone do that to me.
Kole had been worried about me telling coach, even though he already had. He was worried that my quitting the team was the wrong thing. I always had people looking out for me and now Jake was doing that same. Maybe it was time. Maybe I was ready and was just holding myself in because it's what I knew. It was safe and comfortable.
Finishing the dinner part of our date, Jake opened the car door for me and I climbed in, smiling.
With his left hand on the wheel and his right hand in mine, I smiled again. I was on top of the world. My boyfriend had just taken me out on a great date and now we were going to our first party together.
I didn't want to get out of the car. I could have died in that car, in his arms, happy.
Instead he broke our kiss and led me inside to a party I would never forget.
There were so many people I didn't know there and that was like a quarterback who is about to get sacked, looks down the field and sees one his jerseys wide open- saved.
This party set me free. I was out of my element and I loved it. I wasn't a `fish out of water', but I was with new people which made me more comfortable in my own skin because I could simply relax and be myself without having to worry about every little word that came out of my mouth.
Jake wasn't with me the whole time. He saw some people he knew and made sure I'd be okay by myself, which of course I was. I was having a great time.
Even though this wasn't his original plan, I think it was the right one.
I was sitting on a couch talking to a group of people when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder and there was Jake with his beaming smile. He leaned down and whispered into my ear, asking me to follow him.
I excused myself from the group and followed him out the back door and into the backyard. There were a few groups of people creating circles having their own conversations.
I thought we were bound for one of them. Instead Jake led me around the corner of the house to a batch of trees. He stopped, turned around and jumped me.
His quick movement about knocked me off my feet, unsuspecting of his sudden jolt of affection. Maybe that was lust. I could feel it in my pants and I'm pretty sure I could feel it in his as his arms flung around my neck and his legs wrapped around my waist, pinning our bodies together.
After just a few moments, I could also feel his tongue forcing its way into my mouth. I let it slip in as my hand traveled down his back, sliding down his muscles, finding a resting place on his firm ass which was grinding its way into me.
He pulled the back of my shirt out of my pants so his hand could slide up my back. That touch of his fingers on my skin made my heart jump.
"What the fuck?"
My heart jumped. My lips left Jake's, his hands coming out of my shirt, our hips coming apart.
Through the dim light from the house, I could see someone.
Someone I knew.
He turned to walk away and that's when the light caught the front of his face and my heart hit the floor.
"Mike... wait!" I said running after him.
:::::
Greetings! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter -- only three more to go! I also want to thank those who read my blog post. I hope you continue to come back to that site and also the Yahoo group. Even when this story is finished, I want to keep all of you around. I plan on writing shorter stories and doing various creative ventures that I want to share with you all. This story is still going because of you. Keep smiling and keep going. Best wishes for you all.
On a side note -- at 10:07 AM today I became an uncle!!!! Visit my blog to read more and see a picture!
DO YOU WANT TO OWN A COPY OF `IN PAIN'?
I am working with my editor right now to see if there is
enough interest to publish In Pain. BUT -- we need to know from you! Please
e-mail me at andygaywriter@yahoo.com
with the subject line "IP Book" if you'd be interested in purchasing the book.
The price range would be between $10-15 (American) plus
shipping. In your message, please indicate if you live in the
WHEN IS THE NEXT CHAPTER COMING?
I get a lot of e-mails about the delays in the chapters. I'm sorry about that. But, in anticipation of the end of this series, I have created a release schedule. Here it is. As always -- it is subject to change. Keep your eye on the Yahoo! Group for updated information.
Chapter 23 Road Trip (release date: 17 April)
Chapter 24 The Championship (release date: 19 May)
Chapter 25 The Bench (release date: 17 June)
This story is the sole creation of its author and thus he retains full publication rights. Please email me to post it on a site other than Nifty. Email me at: andygaywriter@yahoo.com . Thanks! Feel free to email me at andygaywriter@yahoo.com and I'll do my best to reply as quickly as I can...but know that I do read EVERY email that is sent to me and I take them all to heart. I love you guys! You can also join my Yahoo Group by going to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andygaywriter16