In Pain
Season 2 | Chapter 24
The Championship
You know the rules...follow them.
All persons, names, places, descriptions, and events are purely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, names, places, descriptions, or events is totally accidental and a pure coincidence.
This is a love story.
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Waking up next to Jake with no fear of being caught by my parents or his was a feeling of liberation. We only slept for a few hours before there was a knocking on our door that I wasn't sure I wanted to answer.
I was snuggled up against Jake with my arm wrapped tightly around his chest, holding us together. His back was tight against my chest, his ass grinding into me, our legs intertwined. Our fingers were laced together and he opened his eyes and turned to meet mine.
He blinked and smiled at the sight of me.
"Hey gorgeous," I said.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. The three hours we slept were too long for my lips to be without his. I quickly slipped my tongue inside his mouth while he shifted allowing me to roll on top of him, pushing my chest against his.
Then I heard the knock again, only this time louder.
"What?" I shouted at the person intruding on my make-out session with my boyfriend.
"Let me in freak!" Kole shouted back.
I shoved my tongue into Jake's mouth one last time then reluctantly climbed off. I sifted through the pile of clothes on the floor and found my bright blue CK's from the night before. I slid them on and felt the moistness still there from my pre-cum.
It was hard to hide my hard-on; in fact, it was impossible.
I swung the door open to a surprised look on Kole's face.
"Dude, want to put some clothes on? I mean seriously," he said laughing.
I walked back to the bed, finding my jeans and sliding them on while Kole took a seat in the corner of the room. He had his newspaper and cup of coffee and laughed.
"Jesus guys, it smells like sex in here," Kole said.
"Really?" Jake replied. "I don't know why that is... I mean I know I'm not into gay sex."
Kole looked over the top of the paper and stared down Jake. From my angle I could see him holding in his laughter. Jake knew it too.
"Alright, I admit it," Jake started. "I kissed him, but that's it."
"Right, just kissing," I added.
"You guys are something else," Kole said shaking his head.
We all busted out laughing. I knew my brother was probably still sleeping so I wasn't in a hurry to get ready for the day of adventures ahead of us.
Finally, Jake and I were ready and we all ventured over to Mike's room and surrounded his bed. We were quiet so he wouldn't wake him. We'd worked out our plan beforehand and I held out my hand and started counting with my fingers to three.
One. Two. Three. We all jumped up and onto the bed. I was in the middle and Kole and Jake were on either side of me. I landed right on top of Mike and I'm sure he'd hate me later for it.
Mike started kicking through the sheets, so we all quickly vacated the bed... for our own protection of course.
"You're lucky my balls were protected bitches," Mike scowled.
"Get up Mikey," I said, not caring if his balls were safe or not. We needed to get to lunch.
We all sat around the room for a bit then I started to grow frustrated by Mike's lack of movement, so I got up, grabbed him around his waist and physically pulled him off the bed.
As this point, he stood up on his own and slowly made his way to the shower.
Finally, we were going to be on our way!
Today was going to be a jam packed day. Us four were going to be meeting Kole's girlfriend Vanessa and we'd also be meeting up with Karen, Mike's girlfriend. It was the first time Vanessa would be meeting my boyfriend and Karen's as well. In fact, Mike had only told Karen two days before and of course, she was totally okay with it. When Mike told me that, on the inside I was relieved for two reasons. One, I knew we wouldn't have any problems. Secondly, just knowing that Mike had someone he could talk to was a huge burden of my shoulders.
We met the girls outside their hotel which was just down the street from ours.
The moment we saw them, I could feel the tension building up inside me. Jake and I weren't holding hands, but our shoulders were touching. Even though I knew everyone in this group knew about me and knew about us, I was still worried about it. I still felt like I had something to hide, something to fear.
I'd only met Karen on a few occasions, but now, instead of just saying hi, she ran up to me, jumping into my very surprised arms.
I hugged her back before placing her feet back onto the ground.
Looking back at her, seeing her smiling face, I said, "You know I'm Andy right -- not Mike?"
"Oh stop it! I'm just happy to see you!" she said. "And who's this little cutie?"
"My name's Jake," he said sticking out his hand and looking at me, "his boyfriend."
She immediately broke the shake and threw her arms around him as well.
Then I saw Vanessa standing holding Kole's hand. I hadn't spoken to her since Kole told her about me. I wasn't sure what I'd feel when I saw her. Deep down I was mad at myself for using her to protect me. I was mad I'd lied to her and hurt her the way I did. I could she see was happy with Kole. Good thing too because he deserved the best.
I walked over to her and I saw her drop Kole's hand so I stuck mine out for a handshake. Much to my surprise, she, just like Karen, wrapped her arms around me. For the second time today, I felt like a weight was being lifted from my shoulders. First Karen had been great and now this.
I held her tightly, whispering quietly into her ear. She was a great young woman.
We broke our embrace and I walked her over to meet Jake.
"Vanessa," I said pointing, "this is Jake. Jake this is Vanessa." The quietly shook hands, said a few words and then we were on our way. It was lunchtime and I was starving.
We had a busy day planned. Lunch, sightseeing, shopping, then the biggest event of the year, the basketball championship.
It was the most enjoyable day I remember in a long time. Three couples just having a good time. There were moments when none of us could stop laughing and moments when two of us would laugh and no one else would understand. The day, unlike so many other days felt like an awakening. This is how my life used to be. It's how it was meant to be.
We were walking downtown, stopping in any store that had an `Open' sign and each time we'd walk into a store and I knew we knew no one there, I'd take Jake's hand while we walked through the isles. I even stole a kiss or two when he wasn't looking. But the fairy-tale ended every time we left a store and I had to release the comforting hand I'd been holding. This went on for a few blocks and as the group was going into a local coffee shop, I stopped outside, transfixed by something in the street. The rest of the gang, oblivious to my dreaming, went inside but Jake noticed I had stopped and didn't follow
He stood beside me, our shoulders touching while his eyes tried to follow mine and locate the location of my transfixion.
"What is it?" Jake asked.
"Oh nothing. I was just thinking about today and how much fun this is. I want to feel like this every day," I said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"This. The laughter, the fun, the relaxed feeling that comes from being with friends and being happy. I want to it to be like this forever," I said turning to look into his eyes. The set of eyes that I fell in love with every time my eyes met them.
Jake stepped forward and wrapped his hands around my waste and instantly caught the worry that appeared almost by instinct in my eyes and went to take them off, afraid of what he'd just done.
"No. I want them there," I said putting my hands on his wrists and guiding them back to my waist. "This is where I want to be."
I pulled his chest to mine and he placed he head on my shoulder and we embraced right there in the middle of the sidewalk. To some passersby, it probably looked like two long-lost friends finding each other again and that was fine with me. To me and to us, this was a moment I'd never forget.
We joined the gang for a cup of coffee before heading up to the arena for the championship game. As the day had worn on, I could feel the butterflies in me start to dance around in anticipation of the game a few hours away.
It was a similar feeling, but different than the ones I'd get before a big game. As a player they are feelings of hoping to do well, hoping to hit the big shot or make the perfect pass. Every possible scenario goes through your head as you're warming up. Now as a fan it was hoping the team was prepared and ready to go. That they didn't stay up too late the night before and were well rested and ready to win a championship. For me, I was hoping that the 17 guys on our team wouldn't find out what it's like to be on the losing end of a championship. I knew the feeling all too well and I didn't want to see it happen again.
By the time we finished out drinks, it was two hours before tip-off so we started making our way to the arena. From here it was about a 20 minute walk and we'd get there about the time that the doors would be opening.
With each passing minute we were running into more and more fans from each team. When they weren't cheering for our team, we'd share a few jabs at the other team and they would do the same. Of course, we knew why we'd win and they know why they'd win. Sometimes it's the best part of the game: that trash talking between the fans before a big game.
We arrived just as the gates were opening. The whole walk Jake had been right by my side but we never held hands. The entire walk was enjoyable because I think all of us were having so much fun and enjoying the atmosphere, nothing was going to stop us from enjoying our weekend with friends.
Herded through the doors, we made our way to our seats. Because we were students we were able to get pretty good seats. Our six seats were located in row seven just behind one of the hoops. This was one of the best seats available. Only better was near the benches, but we wanted to be here. This was our team's student section and we were going to be loud and rowdy.
We were some of the first fans to arrive so after we made it to our seats to get acclimated to our surroundings, Mike, Jake and I went to the concourse to get some food to bring back down to the rest of the group. We didn't have to wait in line long, but by the time we got back to our seats, the arena was starting to fill up.
With just an hour to get before tip-off some of the players were starting to filter onto the court to get warmed up. Undoubtedly the teams had participated in a shoot-around this morning, but now it was the real thing.
While more and more of the players appeared on court, the guys were paying more attention to the warm-up than the people around us. The girls were busy gabbing with all their friends around us, making calls and sending texts. They were here mostly for the `social event of the year' type of attitude. Not that it was a bad reason to be here. Us guys were here for the game, for the championship.
As players, we all liked to watch the warm-ups to get a read on our players - their demeanor as well as the other team's.
There was a buzz that was building in the arena as the teams left the floor and the official pre-game festivities began on the court. They awarded the participation trophies for those teams that didn't make it to tonight contest. They had some scholarship stuff and other administrative awards that I didn't care about. Finally, the clock said it was game time.
The lights shut off and the spotlights began to swirl around on the court and in the stands. Everyone jumped to their feet. Our team was introduced first. Our first two guys announced were our seniors and had been on the varsity for all four years. The next two were juniors who were new to the team this year. The final person introduced for our team was Ryan, my friend, the other gay guy at our school.
As the other team was introduced my mind began to wander. It didn't wander too far as I was still able to boo their players every chance I got, but I was watching Ryan intently. On the bench and on the court, he was shorter than most of the other players because he was the youngest player on either team, but he was also probably the most talented.
Sitting there on the bench he seemed at ease. Sitting the middle of the guys his eyes were focused on the coach who had his whiteboard out and was drawing up some play, some reminder of a key to victory, one final moment, one final piece of information to help the team. Then everyone put there hands into the middle of the circle, counted to three, then shouted and moved to the court. It was so loud we couldn't hear the chant from our players, but we knew it.
As they started to take the floor, we started screaming. The arena was so loud I couldn't hear Jake who was literally yelling something into my ear.
The game was fast-paced right from the opening tip. Both teams appeared to want to run the court and each had multiple fast-break points in the first four minutes. The first whistle didn't happen until five minutes into the game. At that point, more than half of the players made a pit-stop to the bench to catch their breath and grab a cup of water. For me and Jake, we sat down quick to catch our own breath and grab our drinks.
I thought back to all the sporting events I'd been to in my life and this one was already the best I'd ever been to. I was old enough now to understand what was riding on it, plus I knew most of the players so with every moment, with every pass, I was clinching my fist and holding my breath.
The remainder of the first quarter flew by just as quickly as the first half of it did. In the break between the first and the second quarters, there was an extended television timeout. Because this game was so popular, the major station in our state broadcast the game on a local news-channel, so I knew most of the city back home was watching, in fact, most of the people across the state would be watching.
With the extended time out, the arena also quieted down as people took their seats for a rest of their own and some went to refresh on their food and beverages. For me, I just sat in my seat and watched the fans. I looked up into the lights. I listened.
Then I heard it. From somewhere behind us someone yelled, "Faggot!" That grabbed my attention and I felt the blood rush to my face immediately and I felt my muscles tense up as I lost my appetite for the game.
At the sound of that word, my senses were at high alert, waiting for more. I knew it was directed towards Ryan.
A minute went by and I could feel the blood finally leaving my face and my muscles going back to normal, then I heard it again. The players were just starting to take back to the court when I heard, "Number 30 -- you're a fag!" I quickly turned around and saw five guys standing about a dozen rows back wearing the same t-shirt with a logo of the other team. They looked to be 18 or 19 and they single handedly ruined my night.
I turned back around and started watching the game again, but at this point, it didn't matter anymore. I hoped Ryan didn't hear any of it, but I'm sure he did. I'm sure there were things that had been said since he'd come out that I hadn't heard and he had. I can't even imagine playing in a game like this and having to endure taunts and comments like that. That's part of the reason why I left football. I knew it'd be ten times worse on the football field where tackling and touching guys is the norm.
I slowly started to come back around, getting the energy back into my system, but I wasn't fully into it anymore. I of course still wanted us to win, but not with the same vigor as before. Everyone around me noticed it and of course all my friends had heard the comment.
A few times Mike leaned around Karen and asked if I was alright. I shook my head and said, "Yeah," and he leaned back and focused his attention back on the game. Kole did the same, only he stepped around Vanessa and stood in front of Jake and me and asked if we were okay. We both said we were, then looked at each other and sighed.
Midway though the second quarter during a time-out a middle-aged guy came to our row and stepped in front of a few people and ended up next to me. He had a CBS hat on so I assumed he worked with the station carrying the game.
He leaned closer to yell into my ear so I could hear him. "You're Andrew Godfrey, right?"
"Yeah, why?" I responded, perplexed why he cared who I was. I was a retired high school football player at a basketball game with my friends, cheering on my team.
"If you're willing, we'd like to interview you at halftime," he yelled back.
"Why?" I asked keeping my eyes on the court, waiting for the game to start again.
"It was big news; you quitting and since your school lost the football championship and now you're not playing anymore, we'd like a few comments if you're up to it."
I looked at Jake who had been leaning in, listening to the conversation. He shrugged his shoulders and gave me a slight head nod as if to say, `go ahead.'
"Sure," I said. "What do I have to do?"
"I'll come back and get you with a few minutes left in the quarter, okay?"
"Alright," I yelled as he turned and left.
I guess a retired player from a month ago is still news in this state. Oh well, I can give a good quote or two about basketball and how good the action is. Wouldn't be my first time dealing with the media at a sporting event.
The game continued on and I started to get back into the game, especially since it was close. The pace of the game had slowed since the start and now it was more calculated with Ryan leading the team each trip down the court. At any given moment he seemed to know where his teammates were going to be and where the weak spot in the defense was going to be. I'd never watched him as intently as I was tonight. I'd never been to a championship game as a fan either. It was my way of keeping my nerves in check as I lived and died every second just like they were.
With two minutes remaining in the half, the television guy came back to get me. By this point, I was back into the game and really wasn't in the mood for a television interview, but I'd committed to it, so I went reluctantly.
We walked down to court-level and around behind the officials scoring table where the television commentators were sitting. The area was packed with media and fans. There was literally no room for me to move around and there wasn't even a chair for me to sit on for the remaining 90 seconds of the half.
Luckily it didn't take long to finish the half. The television went to commercial and said they would interview me right after the commercial. The hosts gave me a run-down of the things they'd ask me so I would be prepared. Seemed easy enough.
Before they came back from commercial, they handed me a headset with the microphone so I could hear their questions and so they'd get my voice volume at the right level on the television. Commercials ended and they did a quick lead-in to their interview subject, then they swung the camera towards me.
"We have with us the former quarterback, Andrew Godfrey, of the Montgomery Mammoths who lead his team to the championship game last season. Andrew, how hard is it to watch a game like this knowing you came so close to winning last fall?" the guy on the left asked.
"I wouldn't say it's tough but it's emotional that's for sure. I'm not a basketball player, but as an athlete you want to be in these situations both these teams are in tonight. You just want a chance. But as a fan, I'm loving this. This place, this game is great," I said with quiet, excited poise.
Leaning forward a bit, the guy on the right jumped in to ask a question, "Andrew, a few weeks ago you stunned the sports world in this state by quitting the football team. Now a lot of analysts, myself included, had your team heavily favored coming into next fall. What made you leave the team?"
I shifted in my seat, searching for the right answer. "Well, it was a combination of factors. One it was the broken finger I sustained at the end of last season and it had been bothering me in just tossing the ball. I was tired of everything that went into the weeks and practice and playing. I also know the team and know they'll be just fine without me. I just felt like I'd done what I could and needed to focus my energies elsewhere."
I was starting to get uncomfortable.
"As a player you often poured your heart out on the field. Which team do you see pulling through at the end here tonight?" the guy on the left asked, thankfully changing the subject.
"Well there's no question both these teams are beyond talented and able to win this game. I'm just looking forward to a great finish and congratulating both teams on a pretty fantastic championship. I just hope my team comes out on top unlike the last time we played in one of these," I said referencing my chance at glory.
"We'll let you go here Andrew so you can enjoy the second half, but I have to ask another question that I think a lot of people at home would like to know," the guy on the right began. "You were the second best quarterback in the state last year, arguably the best going into next fall, what made you pick the spring to quit? Why not right after the season?"
I really didn't even understand that question. "The timing doesn't matter. What matters is that I felt it was time for me to move on." That was that.
"Move on to what?" he asked in response.
"I just needed to move on to better things."
"Well that's about all the time we have..." the main host began, but was interrupted by his partner, "Do you have something planned? A new sport perhaps?"
"No, not at all. Sports aren't going to be in my future I'm afraid. I just didn't feel like I was meant to be in the locker room."
"Was there something that drove you out? Were there problems in the locker room?"
This guy was relentless. "There was a combination of things that made me leave football. I had such high expectations going into the season, but it was the behind the scenes things that wore me down. I needed to leave and a lot of good things have happened since I've moved away from football."
"Your classmate Ryan who is playing in tonight's game recently came out of the closet and said that he thought about quitting too. Is there any connection?"
I laughed. "Ryan and I are friends and we go to the same school," I said.
"Alright, one final question Andrew," the reporter began before I interrupted him.
"Actually, can I say something?" I asked. The reporters nodded their approval. "I just want to make a comment to all the fans watching this game at home and especially all the kids watching. I didn't quit because it was too hard or because it's not fun playing sports. I decided to leave football because there was something bigger for me planned. I'm doing it right now. I'm standing up for what I believe. I'm standing up for Ryan. I'm standing up for all the gay athletes who are too scared to come out of the closet, like I am. Like I was."
The reporters were sitting there just staring at me. The guy on the left, the host finally asked, "Did we just hear you right Andrew?"
I sat up straight in my chair and smiled. "Yes you did guys. I'm gay and I'm proud of it. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go back to my boyfriend who is waiting for me. Enjoy the rest of the game." I pulled off my headset and shook both of their hands before standing up proudly and turning to head back to my seat.
As I neared my section I stopped and looked around. I looked up into the stands and my mind started to wander to those kids who were at home watching the game, who might be gay and to know that it's okay. I know Ryan already did it, but maybe they didn't see it. In any event, it meant something to me. I had just spontaneously come out.
My mind shifted to everyone at my school. It shifted to my brother who already knew. Then I remembered my parents. They were most certainly watching the game and most certainly had heard me come out to the entire state.
I'd have to deal with that later. Right now we had a championship to win.
I made it back to our seats and my place next to Jake, my boyfriend. I was standing there with everyone else and while I could feel a lot of nerves flying through me; some were for the game some were for coming out, I felt free.
"Jake," I said turning towards him, "would it be okay if I kissed you?"
"What, here?!" he asked, startled by my sudden boldness.
"Yeah, right here!" I beamed.
"Yeah, why the hell not?" Jake responded.
I took my right hand and placed it on the back of his neck and pulled his face closer to mine and when he got close, I closed my eyes and pushed my lips into his. It sent a bolt of lightning through my veins and the weight that I had been carrying with me for over a year. The tension, the tears, the anger and the loneliness, it all vanished in that moment.
We broke our kiss and looked into each other's eyes. Our foreheads were still touching and I mouthed, `I love you' to him and he did the same to me. We smiled simultaneously.
Our attention was quickly turned back to the game which had already resumed. It went by fast. The teams were running up and down the court at a frantic pace. The nearer the clock got to triple zeroes, the more nervous I became. I wanted to see our guys hoist the trophy. I wanted to celebrate a championship. It would be the fitting end to a crazy year.
I didn't sit down the entire second half and with only 41 seconds left, I took the time-out as an opportunity to sit and gather my emotions and calm myself down.
I thought back to my championship game. The only one I'd ever play in. I thought about that last play, how I'd missed Kole on the touchdown pass that would have won the game. I thought about the locker room afterwards and how I didn't want to take the pads off.
Sports has a way of delaying emotions, of allowing you the chance to focus on the game and leave your other problems outside the field. I'd used football to escape the world I knew I was a part of. I hoped for Ryan that he would make a great career out of being a basketball player. But I also hoped that the next 41 seconds would be the best athletic seconds he'd ever know. That he wouldn't have to wonder whether he gave it his all. In my heart, I knew I was a champion, I just didn't have the ring to prove it.
The ball was inbounded and our team was on the attack. We were down by one and going up the court Ryan was commanding the troops. He quickly passed the ball to one of the seniors who'd gotten inside position in the paint and was able to get an easy lay-up which put us up by one.
The other team quickly inbounded and ran up the floor, now desperate for points to win a championship. We played tight defense and almost forced a turnover which would have almost iced the game, but as Ryan made a move to make the steal, he slipped, falling down and the guy he was guarding drove the hoop, then dished it out to the corner near where we were sitting to an open teammate who launched a three which slid right through the twine.
I looked at Kole with the doomsday look on my face. We had no timeouts left and only 15 seconds. We needed a miracle, especially now that we were down by two points.
Ryan inbounded the pass and it was immediately passed back to him as he began to trot up the court. By the time he crossed mid-court there were only 10 seconds left on the clock. It was moving faster now.
He tried to find an open Mammoth, but didn't see any. He was getting trapped. I looked and thought he saw a friendly jersey, but at the last moment, someone's hand got in the way, knocking the ball free. Five seconds.
It was just bouncing on the court, loose, going away from our championship.
Then out of nowhere a maroon jersey scooped up the ball, bounced it once and made a quick pass to a wide-open Ryan Evens who was about ten feet away from him, but all alone. Two seconds.
Ryan didn't hesitate. He'd practiced this shot a thousand times before this moment and a thousand times before that. He jumped off the court, cocked his wrist and with a single flip, the ball was air born.
I watched at the clock hit zero, the horn buzzed and the crowd was roaring. Then, like it was meant to be, the ball slipped through the metal rim, grabbing the twine and landed on the court. Game over.
I was jumping up and down, screaming. There we high-fives all around. People we didn't even know were placing their hands out to be slapped. Even Jake was getting in on the action.
Mike came over and we hugged enthusiastically. By this point, there was confetti coming down from the rafters and it was a celebration that the basketball team had earned and that we were going to enjoy. Kole joined Mike, Jake and I in our guy circle and he looked at me and I grabbed his out stretched hand and pulled him in for a championship hug.
I didn't let go.
"This one's for our championship Kole. This is for the best friend I'm ever going to have. I love you man," I yelled into his ear.
We broke our embrace when Jake grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into yet another hug. In the background I could hear Queen's `We Are The Champions' and I looked out onto the court. All our players already had championship t-shirts on and were gathered on the small podium that had been brought out.
All four of us guys were standing together in a row. It was Jake, me, Kole and Mike. I reached behind Mike and pulled him tighter into Kole and put my arms around them all. They all did the same.
We stayed the way until we saw the trophy coming out. That's when the crowd, at least our fans, went nuts. We'd finally won a championship. It was a few months later than expected, but we'd done it.
I was exhausted as I climbed into the car for the long ride back home. I wasn't sure what to expect when I'd walk in the front door. Kole and Mike again sat in the front and Jake and I in the back and we couldn't stop talking about the game. We relived it a thousand times in those three hours.
As we neared home, I changed the subject to what happened during my interview. Mike and Kole were equally surprised and shocked, but supportive. Jake literally jumped out of his skin when he heard I had finally come out.
We dropped off Jake first and I promised to call him in the morning or tonight if I had any problems. Pulling into our driveway, I said goodbye to Kole and walked with Mike up to our front door. I had my arm around him as we walked up the steps.
He reached for the door and I stopped him.
"Hey wait a second. I just wanted to say thanks for coming. I had a great time. But really, I just wanted to say thanks for being a great brother," I said.
"No prob," Mike replied as he opened the door. `Typical Mike,' I thought as I followed him into the house.
It was three in the morning, so I expected it to be dark. Actually, walking in, I wasn't sure what to expect this time. Since my parents had certainly seen my revelation and I knew they would either be waiting up to argue and condemn me or I would be forced to sleep knowing that the discussion was going to happen the next morning.
Mike went up the stairs while I went back to the kitchen to grab me a glass of water. Filling the glass, I decided I would walk around the den and living room to see if either my mom or dad was still up and sitting in the dark or if maybe by chance they'd left me a note.
I was actually hoping to find something, some clue as to their thoughts. I knew it was wishful thinking.
Finding nothing, I made my way up the stairs to my quite and safe bedroom. As I pushed open the door and saw my bed-side lamp shining down on my bed. There on my bed sat my mother.
I stood there in the doorway, frozen with fear. She was sitting on the edge of the bed using the light to flip through a photo album I'd kept in my room. It was pictures of me and all my sports teams and birthday parties that my mother had made me when I graduated 8th grade.
I stepped slowly into the room, taking small steps towards my bed. I'm not sure if she saw me or felt my presence in the room, but I quietly walked up to the edge of the bed.
I sat down at the foot of the bed and looked up to my mom. She didn't flinch. She just kept flipping the pages of the book. As she looked at the last page in the book, I saw her reach with her left hand and I saw the Kleenex.
She finished wiping her eyes then she slowly closed the book shut. I stayed on the bed while she stood up and put the album back on the shelf. She stood there looking at the book. Then I saw her looking at all the pictures that were taped on the wall and sitting in frames.
"Mom?" I asked.
She didn't say anything. She just dabbed her eyes.
I stood up and took a step towards my mom, then asked again, "Mom?"
She turned around and looked at me and I could see immediately she had been crying all night. She walked towards me and I felt so small. I was taller than her and bigger than her, but at this moment, I felt like a five-year-old boy waiting for a scolding.
"Go to sleep darling," she said wrapping her arms around me. "We'll talk in the morning."
She let go to me and kissed me on my cheek and walked out of the room, closing the door behind me.
I hardly slept and was awake just a few hours later. I jumped in the shower quickly, just so I could get downstairs to have the worst conversation I would ever have with my parents.
I came down the stairs and could smell the bacon and hear the sizzle. I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. Dad was sitting at the island and mom was over the stove. She pulled the bacon off the heat, wiped her hands and sat down next to dad.
If my dad looked uncomfortable then I felt like I was going to throw up. I wasn't sure who was going to break the ice, but someone had to.
"Good..." I began before being immediately interrupted.
"What the hell happened last night?" my father demanded.
"Look, I'm sorry you had to find out that way. It's not what I wanted to do. You have to believe me." I know part of me was sorry but the other part of me was happy that they knew, no matter how it happened.
"Is it true?" my dad asked.
"Yeah it is."
I heard my mom start to cry again and my dad took a deep breath.
"What about Vanessa?" my mom asked through her tears.
"Mom, we went as friends."
"But what about the other girls?" she asked again.
"Mom, you have to trust me." I thought a moment. I really wanted to say it.
"But how can you know for sure?" she asked.
"I just know. I've known for awhile, I just wasn't okay with it until recently."
"Is this why you quit the team?" my dad asked.
"Dad, I'm sorry. But yeah it is. The guys just wouldn't be able to deal with it."
Then the just sat there and I stayed standing.
My mother stood up first, walking up to me and wrapped her arms around me but unlike last night, she didn't let go. I finally felt like I was their son again. The last six months of pain and anger was going away right at this moment.
"We still love you," my dad said as he came and wrapped his arms around both me and mom. They held me while I cried. They held me while we healed.
:::::
Happy May everyone! I'm not going to say much. This chapter took awhile to write, but it was fun. So much has happened in Andy's life, I can't even begin to put it all into words and fit it into this 15 page chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it and are looking forward to the final chapter which will be released June 17: the two-year anniversary of my personal Liberation Day.
As this story comes to an end, I'm not sure what the future will hold for me here on Nifty. I'd like to write some short stories; one to three chapters and tell many, many stories and emotions and challenge myself as a writer.
As a reader of this story, I want you to come with me. Join my group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andygaywriter16 and bookmark my blog at http://thoughts-of-a-butterfly.blogspot.com
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This story is the sole creation of its author and thus he retains full publication rights. Please email me to post it on a site other than Nifty. Email me at: andygaywriter@yahoo.com . Thanks! Feel free to email me at andygaywriter@yahoo.com and I'll do my best to reply as quickly as I can...but know that I do read EVERY email that is sent to me and I take them all to heart. I love you guys! You can also join my Yahoo Group by going to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andygaywriter16