Date: Tue, 13 Sep 2016 04:12:04 +0000 From: Harry Scott Hayden Subject: It Has Always Ben You - Chapter 11 - Mix Emotions Disclaimer: This story is fictional. Some of the things that happened or will happen with Mikael and Nick are bits and pieces of my life. Parts of the character are fictional as well. All other characters were made up and any similarities are just coincidental. This is gay romance between teenage boys, there may be sex, but for the most part, it's about their true love of each other so if that offends you, please discontinue reading. Also, if it is illegal for you to read such material, you have been warned. I hope you're enjoying it and that the story draws you in wanting more. If you have any suggestions or concerns, don't hesitate to email me at harryscotthayden@outlook.com. Thoughts and suggestion are always welcomed and may or may not be implemented. Concerns will be considered and addressed as much as possible. AND, if you enjoy the stories on Nifty.org, please give a donation to help cover their expenses. While the site is currently free, only donations from loyal fans can help keep it that way. Any amount will help. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ It Has Always Ben You - Mixed Emotions The day after had been great for Mikael. All day long he was glowing with pride and satisfaction from what happened with Drake and him. The lovemaking was wonderful and passionate. Even though Drake knew it was his first time ever, Drake was so gentle sexing him. He was really surprised to be able to take Drake's 8" length inside his virgin butthole. All the touches and kisses were so passionate and romantic.  But, there were times when he wished it was Nick as his first time. As for Nick, it had been a difficult period full of mix emotions. Devastation, anger, frustration, longing and love. Devastated because Mikael is not with him. Anger at Drake for kissing Mikael. Frustration because he could not do anything. Longing for Mikael's sweet voice and touch. Love for Mikael heart. All this mixed emotion can only be felt by Nick and it is eating him alive. He had no one to talk to...not even Amy as it is so personal to him. He tried to avoid Mikael at school but it seems Mikael was everywhere he went, all over the school grounds; parading his sweet smile and jovial character as though nothing can ever dampen his spirit. What's worse is that they had most classes together and it is so distracting he was unable to concentrate on what was taught in class. Every so often he was caught staring at Mikael. Seeing Mikael brought back all the memories. Their first meeting in the office, the things they did together when they became best mates, their first kiss at the gym and of course the revelation of Mikael's feelings towards him. It somehow brought a smile to his face. There were also the bad memories of him seeing Drake kissing Mikael and the affection they kept on parading whenever they were together. It really touched a raw nerve in Nick. Whatever it is, somehow, sometime and somewhere they all became friends. Amy was happy that Mikael moved on and found Drake. Sandra was furious with Drake as she was still very much in love with Mikael. It was not easy for her to see them together as she was trying to patch things up with Mikael. Not sure why, but she just simply cannot let him go. As for Nick, he had to pretend to be friendly like he promised to Amy. But every time Drake joined in on the conversation, Nick ignored him and was always seen rolling his eyes. Amy did notice it and snapped at Nick and reminded him do the promises he'd made. All of this emotion displayed in front of him was unfair. He tried to move on and wanted to move on, but somehow, in his mind and heart, Nick was never far away. He felt he was betraying Drake because of the feelings he still had for Nick. He knew it was wrong but who in their mind could ever forget their first crush, their first love. Even if there was nothing to begin with. City Centre Nick was having a stroll alone in the city. Amy was not around as she was visiting her sick grandmother with her family. Not knowing what to do and basically feeling bored he decided to go window shopping in the mall. He wanted to call Mikael to ask if he would want to come along but decided against. Mikael was most probably busy gawking at Drake. In the first hour there he had bought a blue flannel shirt and Levi 501 jeans, which he presumed Mikael would choose for him if he was around. Not really sure why he did it... it was as though he was seeking Mikael's opinion. That was what he usually did when he was out shopping with Mikael. He was feeling hungry after all the walking and decided to go to one of the stalls at the food court to buy a slice of pizza and a soda. After getting his food he went to the corner of the food court to sit and enjoy his lunch. He was savouring his food when he noticed someone familiar at the counter queuing. It was Mikael. He could not believe his luck and started to grin widely. He scanned further around to see if Drake was with Mikael, but he wasn't. Mikael was scanning around the fast food joint for a seat when he saw someone waving frantically at him. He tried to see who is was, squinting his eyes when he realized it was Nick. His heart skiped a bit and he hastily walked towards Nick. "Hey Nick, good to see you mate." Mikael spoke rather quickly while putting his food tray on the table and sat opposite of Nick. "Hey, good to see you too. Doing a bit of shopping eh? Alone? Where's Drake? Where is he?" Nick was bombarding Mikael's with questions without realizing it. Mikael chuckled at Nick, "Whoa...whoa....whoa. Hold your horses mate. One at a time, eh?" He was laughing silently while noticing Nick was blushing. "What is it with all the questions?" smiling sweetly at Nick. "Oh, nothing, just happy to see you." Nick shyly answered with his head lowered looking at his tray. "Ok... to answer your question... yes, I was here to do a bit of shopping because I was bored." Mikael took a bite at his nearly cold pepperoni pizza. "Drake is not in town... he was out somewhere to do his thing." "What... you mean you just let him be without knowing what he does or with whom he will be?" Nick asked Mikael with a frown on his forehead and a slight smirk as though he was mocking him. "What do you mean by that?" Mikael was pretty annoyed with Nick right now."Of course I do have to trust him. It is important in a relationship. Do you reckon he will be two-timing or be unfaithful to me?" sounding rather angry. "Well... yeah or might be." Nick replied with a hint of sarcasm. "Look... as you can see he is rather... what you say... camp or chirpy with people. He's so dainty about his sexuality" "Can you please keep with your homophobic comments to yourself. He is my boyfriend." By now Mikael was annoyed and angry with Nick. His face reddened with anger. He could not believe Nick can be so low minded. "I'm not... I'm not... why of all the sudden can you be so gay Mikael? I was just talking and having a conversation." Nick tried to defend himself. "Look, what I am trying to say is..." Nick took a deep breath and continued, "I miss the times of us getting together... I mean us, you know?" Mikael sat there silently staring at Nick. Hearing that made his pent-up frustration with Nick subside a bit. "You were never alone... he was always around you... We never get to do stuff together anymore...just you and me, like old times" Nick paused awhile looking at Mikael's face looking for a response. But Mikael just continued to sit there silently. So he continued. "We used to have fun, doing stuff together...playing soccer, doing best mate things." Nick was not looking at Mikael directly anymore. His head tilted downward looking at his hands on the table. His voice was low, just loud enough for Mikael to hear him. "What?" Mikael felt confused. "In the beginning we were friends and then we became best friends... and I know there were times when we fall apart and... and that was partly my fault... but I do really wish we could be mates again, Mikael." Taking a deep breath of air as though it was sucked out of him. "I want for us to be mates again." almost pleading. "Really? after all that had happen you think you still want us to be mates again?" Mikael was smirking, "and just because you say so... eventually it can happen?" "Yes." answered by Nick. Mikael actually felt delighted and happy that Nick made a step to reconcile their friendship. But he had doubts that made him say, "Look Nick... you hurt me... hurt me bad... and I still cannot get over it." "Mikael, please....."Nick butted in before Mikael could speak further. Almost pleading. Mikael stared at Nick deeply and sighed before he continued to speak, "Listen, Nick... this is what I would say to you." Nick took the opportunity and strained his eyes to hear what Mikael had to say. He was hopeful that Mikael would give it a chance for their friendship. "What?" Mikael gave Nick a sweet smile and said, "For now... I thought that we could just be friends... as things are never gonna be the same again..." Mikael looked at Nick dejected face and took a long, deep breath. He really needed it to calm himself. "It is just the beginning and it's not the end of our friendship as things will never be the same again." saying all this made Mikael a bit emotional and he can feel a lump on his throat and his eyes began to get teary. He tried to fight himself from crying. "It's not a secret anymore about how you felt towards me and that is why things will never be the same again." As much Mikael tried to control his emotion... it got to him and made him get to tears down his face. He doesn't bother to see if anyone was around them and saw him. It really pained him so much to say all of this...he tried to sound brave and confident... but... but his heart was hurting so bad. "And starting from today and from now on we will never be the same again Nick." By now Mikael was bawling pretty bad. Tears cascading down to his cheeks like raindrops on a rainy day. Nick heard Mikael sniffle and he knew Mikael was crying... he tilted his head upward and felt devastated to see Mikael sobbing silently opposite of him. Mikael's shoulder was jerking lightly and his hands, which were by now on the table seemed to be a bit shaky. And from that very moment he knew how much he felt about Mikael. He wanted to reach out to Mikael to hold him in his arms and to say that everything is going to be alright. But he stopped his desire to touch Mikael when he remembered what Mikael had said a few minutes ago... Things will never be the same again! He was never gonna back out... he treasured Mikael...he wanted things to be as they were before all the drama that happened between them. He would do all he can to change all this and to change Mikael's heart especially. "THINGS WILL BE THE SAME AGAIN!" He silently made a vow to himself. While Nick was contemplating his next move, he felt movement in front of him. He looked up and saw Mikael push back his chair and stand up. But before Mikael walked away, he looked at Nick and said, "I will always be there whenever you need a friend." Mikael turned away from Nick and walked off. Nick smiled! I have created a mailing list. If you would like to be added to it to be informed of new submission, please contact me at harryscotthayden@outlook.com . Please let me know that you read it on nifty.org. Specials word of gratitude to my editor friend Neal H. for a job well done.