Welcome again! Here are the legal statements. If you are not yet old enough or if it is not legal to read this type of material where you live, please leave now. If the subject of homosexual relations offends you please read no further. The following story is true, yet some elements are fictionalized and with the exception of Andy (myself), all persons in this story have fictional names to hide their identities and some are composites of several people.
Therefore, Any resemblance to persons living, dead or not yet born are completely accidental and unintentional, so don't go thinking I'm talkin' about you!
The Author reserves all rights. copyright 2005
The Author is Andrew Simon van Ryan. Email me at Zlatazobo@att.net
It's a boys' life!
Andrew van Ryan
In the morning I called David Hayes and he confirmed what Norman had said the previous evening. After that, I wasted some time doing dumb stuff like picking up my room and taking my dirty clothes to the laundry room before making my way down the path that ran amongst the orange trees to my grandmothers' house. Her home was just two hundred yards away from our house, but the view of it was completely obscured by the trees. This provided both homes with privacy from the other, a feature I think my dad planned when he built them.
I spent a little over an hour talking to my grandmother about Norman and how he was going to come make apologies today. I also told her I'd decided to give him the chance to prove himself as a friend. She expressed concern that he had been drunk the night he'd awakened her and I reassured her I'd ask if he was still drinking or if it had been a one time thing. Then she wanted to know if I liked him and I told her the truth, that I didn't know. I explained how I was giving him a chance to show me what he was really like and that I'd make a decision later. She winked at me, and then announced she was going to be away for the afternoon and that Norman and I could stay as long as I wanted.
See, my grandmother knew I was queer, and I knew that she knew I was queer, but we never discussed it, ever. It was hinted at, but we never had a direct conversation about it. It didn't seem to bother her, so it was cool talking about guys with her. I just didn't give her too much information, knowing she didn't want to hear about what we did together. About fifteen minutes before Norm was supposed to show, I walked to the retaining wall that separated her front yard from the edge of our street. The wall was only about three feet tall and provided a place to sit and watch what little traffic flowed by. It was almost always one of nine cars that passed, each one a car of a neighbor, the closest of which lived over a mile past hers' and my parents houses. On occasion a strange automobile would rumble by and we'd stare, trying to identify the occupants.
I was gazing off towards the dry, brown hills in the distance when Norm arrived, nicely dressed and obviously nervous. Leaning his bike against the tree in her yard, he grinned at me as I greeted him.
"Hey!" I said, giving him one of my half crooked smiles that made me look shy. He looked nervous as he spoke up.
"Hey, so here we are." he said before casting a glance at his shoes.
"You ready for this?"
"I guess. How should I start?"
"Well, first thing is, you should call her Mrs. van Ryan. Don't call her Grandma until she tells you it's OK if you do. Second thing is, don't look at your shoes, look at her. That's really about it, I think."
Norm sighed as he followed me up the steps to the front porch. opened the front door and announced his arrival.
"Grandma! Normans here!" She entered the living room from her kitchen as we stepped in.
"Well, hello Norman" She smiled. "Andy says you have something to say to me." Before he could answer she turned to me. "Andy, go get the two of you something to drink."
"OK." I answered and headed for the kitchen. As I was crossing the living room, I heard him begin.
"Mrs. van Ryan, I'm really sorry for having bothered you and for waking you up." he said, really sounding sincere. I nearly laughed out loud when she answered.
"Well of course you are, Norman." her voice droned.
I fixed two glasses of her sun tea and as I returned I heard her saying "Alright then, those are my rules. Think you can live with that?"
"Yes, Mrs. van Ryan." Norm replied.
"Oh, just call me grandma, like everyone else does, my dear boy." She turned towards me as I crossed the carpet holding the tea. "Well, I have to be going. You two have fun and I'll see you about 6:30 this evening."
"What if we leave?" I asked, just in case things weren't to my liking.
"Oh, then just lock up and I'll see you in the morning." She answered, picking up her purse. "Have fun now! Goodbye, Norman!"
"Goodbye!" he called out as she exited. After the door closed, I suggested we go to the basement. I felt more comfortable there and since I had planned to question him about a lot of things, thought it the best place for doing so. Norm followed me into the stairwell and down to the door, where I had him open it for me. As we stepped inside, Norms face lit up.
"Wow! This is really cool!" he remarked, following me to the center of the room where I sat on the carpeted floor. He sat too and I handed him his drink.
"So what did she say?" I asked.
"She thanked me for saying I was sorry, telling me she knew I was nervous and then she told me her rules."
"Which are?" I quizzed.
"Don't ever drink alcohol before or when I come here and don't do anything to hurt you or your feelings, otherwise she said she'd kick my butt right up over my head!"
"Sounds like my Grandma!" I laughed.
"So, dude. She's gone for the afternoon?"
"Yep. Told me she's gotta work, because the woman who worked for her on Sundays is getting married and she quit. Grandma says she's just going to open later and work until 7:00 each day, except Sundays. That day's only til 6:00."
Norm looked a little nervous like he wasn't too sure about what he asked next.
"Does she know you're queer?" he asked in a near whisper.
"Uh, huh!" I mouthed, nodding my head. Norm's eyes bugged out.
"Did you tell her about me?" he questioned in a bit louder voice.
"Didn't have to." I said calmly. "She figured it out long time ago. She's' a smart lady, you know."
Norm truly looked amazed at this and didn't speak for a moment. When he did, it was to say how cool it was for me to have someone like her as family. He was really shocked when I told him she knew what Jim and I did when he'd stayed overnight. Eventually, I decided it was time to start asking the questions I'd planned out.
"Norm, why did you follow me everywhere? And why did you suddenly start saying all that freaky stuff?" I asked.
"Simple. I wanted you to notice me." he replied, beginning to look at the floor. "But I didn't know what to say. I was hoping you'd say something first and after a while, I just started saying those weird things to get your attention."
"But you know, it kinda scared me having someone following me and it scared Matt really bad. He was kidnapped once, you know."
"Oh, I didn't know that!" he startled. "Guess that's why I don't see him hangin' around here much anymore. I'm real sorry I scared you and him, Andy."
"Yeah, OK. But tell Matt you're sorry, too." I paused, and then asked a big one.
"So, where did you come up with all that stuff, like the goat thing, and saying how your butt was full of cum and stuff. Where'd you come up with that?"
Norm sighed and kinda looked at me. The light was coming from the fixture directly above us, lighting the room brightly. I gazed at his face and for the first time really noticed how pretty he was. Not cute, not handsome but pretty. His shiny black hair parted naturally in the middle and hung down over his ears almost to his collar. It framed his thin delicate facial features and made for a dramatic contrast with his crystal blue eyes which appeared to sparkle in the light cast from above. As he spoke, his highly arched eyebrows rode up and down while his slightly puffy lips shown a perfect shade of pink to compliment his skin tone. I thought how girls must be jealous of his striking looks wishing they were as pretty as he was.
"I said all that stuff because Tom had said it to me." he sighed.
"Who's Tom?" I asked, seeing as I'd been called back to reality when he spoke.
"The first guy I had sex with." Norm stated as he began to fidget. I noticed his sudden nervousness, so I continued down that road of questions.
"Where'd ya meet him?"
"He lived across the street from me, up until about a year ago."
"I don't remember any kid named Tom living on your street." What Norman said next took me by surprise.
"Who said he was a kid?"
"You mean he was an adult?" I asked after a long moment. "How old was he?"
"Thirty." Norm said sounding quite sad.
"Dude! That's too creepy! Why'd you like him?"
"I didn't!" Norm protested. "He got me drunk and I didn't know what to do, or how to make him stop!"
A chord had been struck within him and it seemed he wanted to spill it all out, so I just listened and let him unload.
"He was my friend, just a friendly neighbor who started inviting me over and taking me places I hadn't been since my dad left us. I didn't know anything about sex until he told me I was old enough to learn how to be an adult and since I didn't have a dad, he'd teach me." Norm rambled. "He started telling me stuff and then he brought out some movies, nasty stuff and showed um to me. A few days later he showed me some more and then said he would show me his dick and I should show him mine. That weekend he asked me to stay over and he got me drunk for the first time. That's when we had sex."
Norm suddenly paused and looked at me, his eyes now staring wildly. I just kept my concerned expression while resting my chin on my hand.
"Go on." I said softly. After a slight pause, he licked his lips and continued, in a much calmer manner.
"Andy, the guy did everything to me. He made me do it to him too. It wasn't my fault."
When he said this, it was time to jump in.
"Norm, it wasn't your fault at all. The guy used you, and that's on him. You didn't know what he was gonna do, how could you know? But just remember this, OK? It happens to a lot of guys, they're just never brave enough to tell anyone about it."
After saying that, I leaned forward and put my arms around him. He fell forward and leaned against me. His arms reached out and tightened around me as he slightly rocked back and forth. I think he might have been crying, but he didn't want to let me see. So, I just held him until I felt his body relax. Sitting up, I looked at his face, his pretty young face with the damp, sparkling blue eyes and I couldn't help myself, so I leaned forward and I kissed him.
Norm flinched with surprise before he let out a slight sound and melted his lips to mine. His reaction was infectious, and I felt myself relax, too. I continued kissing him for a long time, instinctively knowing to keep it tender and sweet, rather than hard and sexual. When we finally did break our embrace, he looked deep into my eyes, then broke out in tears.
"I've never told anybody about that." He sniffled. "No one else knows."
I looked at him and asked something personal.
"Is it because of him that you think you're gay?" His answer would tell me a lot.
"No, I knew I was long before I ever met him." He sighed. "I didn't know about the word gay, but I knew I was different from other boys by the time I turned ten." Norm exhaled deeply then continued. "I didn't like girls then and I still don't now."
"Did Tom know that?" I asked.
"Yeah, I told him the first time he showed me his movies. He said I was like him and the next time he showed me movies, they were of guys doing it."
"And you've never told anyone else about what he did?" I quizzed.
"No, but my mom looked at me real funny when I came home after spending the weekend at his house. She waited until I went to my room, then walked across the street. I saw her from my bedroom window going into his house, then like about a minute later I heard her screaming something at the top of her lungs as she came outta his front door. She didn't say anything to me, but Tom moved out that same week and his house went up for sale. I never saw him again, thank god."
"Dude, I'm sorry. I didn't know." I muttered, feeling bad that I hadn't been nicer to Norm in the past. "You said he moved a year ago, so that must have been about the same time you first saw me."
"Yeah, I caught you and Matt within a week or so after he moved. Andy, I said all that strange stuff because I believed what he'd told me, that gay guys liked hearin' really nasty stuff. I said all that trying to impress you."
He gazed up into my eyes and his lips formed a weak smile.
"Guess you weren't very impressed, huh?" he mumbled softly.
I was silent at first, but then broke out in laughter, leaning back and clutching my belly while my head tipped backwards. Rocking forward, I grinned at him.
"Oh, I was impressed, all right! Just not in a good way!" I chuckled at him.
Norm smiled and began to giggle, a small sound at first, but it grew and so did my laughter, until both of us were nearly crying from laughing so hard, sitting there face to face on the basement floor.
As we smiled at each other, I began to think that I'd been wrong about him, and how he somehow seemed changed. Yes, Norm seemed friendly and relaxed, almost a different person. But then I thought of one more question.
"So, why were you drunk when you came over here that night?"
Norm sagged a bit and stared at me. He looked suddenly sad, like he was recalling something which had remained hidden inside when he'd told me about Tom. He looked directly into my eyes and spoke.
"I thought I needed to get drunk the night I came over, because I wanted to tell you I was in love with you and getting drunk was the only way I could bring myself to say it. When Tom got me drunk, I had told him I loved him, even though I didn't. I just wanted to feel loved and being drunk made it easy for me to say it to him. The night I came here, I thought if I was drunk and said I loved you, the rest would be easy. I'd just take all my clothes off, lie down and let you do whatever you wanted to me." he tipped his head off to one side and continued. "Do you see? Do you see what he did to me, feeding me all that sick bullshit, screwing up my head so I'd think that's how to make love?" I could see hurt in his eyes, but rather than let him continue on towards another flood of tears, I interrupted.
"OK. So now you've told me you love me and you're not drunk." I smiled, and reached for his hand. "Wanna know what I think?"
He looked too stunned to reply, so I didn't wait for an answer. "I like hearing you say you love me, and I think I just might fall in love with you, too. At least I'd like to try."
Now he really began to cry, but this time it wasn't caused by his inner pain. It was caused by overwhelming joy! Norm and I held each other for a long time, me comforting him between the times he'd look up and kiss me. A smile returned to his face and I felt shivers. Wow, maybe falling in love with Norman was going to be easy! I began to stare at his beautiful face.
"God, Norman, how did you get to be so pretty?"
"I dunno, didn't know you thought I was."
"I do. Very much so."
He looked at me and began to giggle.
"Andy, you're really cute, the cutest guy I've ever seen, in fact." he said. "But right now, you look like the cutest raccoon in the whole world."
"Huh?" I said with a huff.
"I'm sorry. It's your eyes, they've got rings around them from when you fell." he giggled on. "Go look in the mirror."
I jumped up from the floor and went to where the mirror hung by the bed. Inspecting my face, I did indeed look something like a raccoon!
"Oh, god!" I moaned, looking at my two black eyes.
"Don't worry, It'll go away. Besides, I like raccoons!" Norm said cheerfully.
"Just be glad I like you, Norm. Otherwise I'd make you pay for that comment!" I said with a laugh as I turned to look at him. "No, not like." I revised, gazing into his blue eyes. "Love.... I love you."
We locked eyes and stared, smiling at each other. He looked about to speak when upstairs the doorbell rang, followed by a loud knocking.
"Who could that be?" I wondered aloud. "Sit tight, I'll be right back." I told him and hurried to the stairs.
I rushed up to the landing and ran to the entryway. I opened the door and was greeted by the sight of Matt and his friend, Paul.
"Hey, Andy!" they said in unison, before Matt took over.
"Oh, man! You did get two black eyes! Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Oh, we were riding our bikes and came over to see you. Your mom said you were here, so , here we are!"
"Cool, Come on in." I said while wondering how to explain Norms presence. I noticed the way the two of them walked close together crossing the living room, and I had to ask.
"Are you two together?"
They looked to one another, then to me.
"Kinda" they replied at the same time.
"Are you two boyfriends?" I asked pointedly. Again they looked to each other, before looking at me and answering in unison.
"Oh, my god!" I groaned "You're turning into the bobsie twins."
"Who?" Paul asked as I headed down the stairs. Matt began rambling on about my black eyes as we descended into the basement. Stepping through the door, I looked over as Matt entered and stopped dead in his tracks. Staring open mouthed at Norm for a moment, he suddenly glanced to me and asked.
"What's he doin' here?"
I looked directly in Matts' eyes, then spoke in a soft voice.
"Matt, Norman has something he wants to say to you." I turned to look at Norm, still seated in the middle of the floor. He looked nervous again, but without hesitating he spoke.
Yeah, Matt. I do."
Matt gave me a doubtful look before slowly crossing to where Norm sat. He folded his arms over his chest and stared down at him.
"I think we all better sit down." I instructed. "This might take a while......"
Tell me all about it at: Zlatazobo@att.net