SoapBox:âHello, all you sexy thangs, you. It's good to be here with you again. I'd like to thank the many of you who write me, I love e-mail. The addy, for the others that haven't written yet, is Justin69SK@aol.com I hope I hear from you soon. If you'd like to visit my site, please leave a message on the Message Board. The URL for the site is http://Justinscorner.homestead.com . The link for the Message Board is on all the pages. It's a great place to ask questions of others that might have experience in what your dilemma may be. It's also a great place to meet others like us! I look forward to hearing from you all soon.

Thanks for supporting my efforts.

Just,
Justin
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After our shower together we dressed and watched some television on the old Magnavox set with the screwed up color. Everything had a green tint to it, but it was all-good, we watched Carson and TRL on MTV. It's not like Carson is cute anyways, but the boy bands that are often on the show catch my eye.

It had gotten to be about 4:00 when Joanie walked in. She was all excited. It seemed that her friend Judy hooked her up with a job interview at Abercrombie and Fitch's. Joanie loved clothes, and hated her mundane job at Showcase Cinemas where she collected money for tickets. She came into the living room and told Champ and me all about how much she looked forward to changing jobs. Her only worry was that she'd miss a week's pay, as Abercrombie and Fitch's held back two weeks, instead of the one that Showcase did. But she was happy to tell us all about the commissions she'd earn selling clothes. In Joanie's mind she already had the job.

"If you guys want to see a movie using my family passes, you better do it now while you still have a chance," Joanie finally said as she walked down the hall to check on my mother.

"Jacob, how about we go tonight and see `Gladiator'?

I sat on the couch next to Champ; my mind was all confused. I mean, shit, Joanie wasn't even sure if she was changing jobs yet. `How does she do that?' I wondered. Go from one extreme to the next. I silently contemplated if I did it too, if I lived in a fantasy world of sorts, created only in my mind. Then I wondered if I was the only fourteen- year-old that worried about such things.

"Jacob? Did you hear me? Hey, Jacob! I'd love to go see `Gladiator' with you."

I felt his hand tapping my left thigh, and suddenly remembered I was in love. I turned to Champ and fixed my eyes on his; inside I could feel myself melting. God, he was so fucking cute, and I loved his smile. I hadn't heard a word he'd said. My wonderment must have shown on my face.

"Well?"

"Um, what? What's up?"

"The movies? Do you want to go? We can use her free passes."

I suddenly felt a pang of guilt. I wanted to go to the movies with Champ, I really did. But, he was twelve and I was fourteen, and some unwritten law said I was too old to hang out with a junior high kid. I mean, everyone knew that freshman in high school didn't associate with seventh or eighth graders, it wasn't cool. What if someone saw us? What would they think about me? I mean, I already wasn't on the `Who's Who', I didn't want to further tarnish my reputation. Did I?

"Jacob?"

I stared at the green screen, my mind raced with more shameful thoughts. I had had sex with him. I had had boy-sex. I was queer. I let another boy put his dick into my asshole and loved it. I was a faggot. I could hear the chants and taunts of the other kids we knew, in my mind. Especially Robert's, his were the loudest. But I loved Champ, I told myself as I fought back the feelings of remorse. It could be just like we dreamed, we could pretend to be just friends, no one would know; I tried to convince myself. I gave in.

"Sure, Champ. Let's go to the movies."

"Cool," Champ said, and then gave me a quick peck on the lips.

I talked to Joanie, she agreed to take us to the seven fifteen showing of `Gladiators'. Champ was totally ecstatic; he had never been to the movies without one of his parents. He called home; told Mrs. Morin he was eating over my house, then going to the movies with my older sister and me. It was only a white lie; Joanie was bringing us there. Mrs. Morin agreed to let him go, I could tell by the excitement on his face as he hung up the antiquated phone.

I decided we'd take some candy we bought at the corner store, it would be cheaper than buying it at Showcase. I was running low on cash and had no idea when I'd be able to make any. I shoveled snow from driveways in the winter, and mowed lawns in the summer, but April was a non-work month in Mayfield for me. I needed to reserve my funds, just in case something came along I'd need money for. If we also bought our drinks at the convenience store, we could even save more money, I could get away with only spending about five bucks. You know, as I think about it, nothing is free.

"Jacob, with the free passes from your sister, we're almost making money if we buy the candy before we go."

I failed to see his logic, but smiled at him anyway. I guess his point was the tickets cost eight dollars apiece, so that was like sixteen dollars. But I still had to buy the snacks, it didn't matter, we'd have a good time, I convinced myself.

Joanie dropped us off about seven. Passes in hand, we quickly entered the building and found some good seats in the rear of the theater. It was a cold April night, and I had once again forgotten to wear a jacket. I remember sitting in the cushioned seat shivering. All of a sudden I noticed my archenemy Linda Dailey two rows in front of us. She was with some jock from Mayfield High, I knew him by sight, but didn't know his name. I shuddered when I saw her; my whole body shook uncontrollably.

"You all right, Jacob?"

"Yeah, just a little cold."

"You look like you've seen a ghost."

"See that girl up there, the one with the long hair? We have an agreement, we agree to hate each other," I whispered to him.

He casually reached his right hand to my left, and closed his fingers around my hand. I felt the soft warmth of his palm against my own. His touch made me happy, as the lights began to dim. I tried to forget about Linda. I held myself in the moment, I held myself in his warm gentle hand, and I clung to the love I felt for him. I pushed any thoughts of shame further into the deep parts of my mind, and allowed my consciousness to focus on the previews of upcoming movie events.

The action of the movie was lost on me, while I sat next to Champ in the dark room with the comfortable chairs. I could feel my cock throbbing inside my pants, and wondered if he was horny. I slipped my left hand into his lap. I began rubbing his penis through the cloth of his trousers. I could feel his cock as it sprang to life against my hand. We got lost in our sexual desires. I felt his little fingers as they unzipped my pants and slid into my boxers, releasing my aching cock. We both closed our eyes and slowly jerked each other off.

Suddenly, I noticed the lights had come back on and the movie had ended. I had opened my eyes as I came, and saw the other people standing and walking up the aisle. There she was, her eyes tore into me, she saw what we were doing, a look of disgust crossed her face and she elbowed the jock. Linda Dailey had caught us jerking each other off, in the back of the movie theater.

"Eww, you little fucking faggots. You're sick, Jacob Mathers, I always knew you were a fucking queer." Her voice pierced through the air, as she spat out the words.

The tall jock looked our way; his eyes stared at our exposed hard-spent cocks. I watched as his face began to twist in distaste. His dark eyes ripped into my skull, as his anger began to show. I quickly fumbled around, trying to stuff my wet cock back into my pants, I felt Champ shifting around next to me. My mind went blank. I felt his big hands on my shirt as he reached over the seats and pulled me to my feet. I closed my eyes again.

I felt my body being torn from the seat. I kept my eyes tightly shut, praying he wouldn't attack Champ. I could smell his breath; it was filled with alcohol. I felt his grip as it pinched against the skin of my chest beneath my shirt. I heard the chair as it flipped back into its upright position. The next thing I knew my face was being beat on by his free hand. My head began to throb, after several head blows, he threw me to the concrete floor. I fell in a crumbled ball wrapped around the metal bases of the chairs nearby.

"You sick fuck. Keep that shit at home." I heard his rage; I lay on the floor. afraid to open my eyes, afraid to move.

I don't know how long I stayed on the floor. It could have been a few minutes; it could have been longer. All I remember was the throbbing pain my body seemed to be wracked in. The pain in my left eye seemed to be the worst. I slowly ran my right hand to my face, feeling for blood, but felt none. My jaw ached too; I could taste the salty blood on my lip. It couldn't be that bad. I figured, there wasn't blood anywhere else.

"Jacob, we better get out of here. Are you all right? Should I go for help?"

I heard the tension in his voice; I heard his concern, as he called to me. I slowly moved my legs to see if they had been broken when I had been thrown to the floor. While they seemed to be bruised, I was able to straighten them out and slowly did. I looked up and saw the terror in Champ's face. I began to cry.

"Let's get out of here. I'll be OK," I told him between sobs.

He helped me to my feet and we walked out of the now empty theater together. Champ kept his left arm around my waist, I imagined it was his way of assisting me. I felt so comfortable with him I couldn't imagine what was so terrible about loving him. When we came into the lobby, I saw Joanie. I quickened my pace, Champ kept his arm around me, and we walked to her, thinking we'd be safer with her at our side.

"What the hell happened to you, Squirt?" Joanie asked, obviously aware that I was in pain.

"Some big high school jock sucker-punched him," Champ volunteered.

"Looks like he beat the shit out of you, Squirt. Hell, you even have a black eye. Who was he? Why did he do this to you?" Joanie persisted with her concern.

"I don't know. He just grabbed me out of my seat and beat the shit out of me," I lied.

She shook her head, and didn't say another word. We drove in silence to Champ's. The plan was to drop him off before Joan and I went home. I just wanted to go home and go to bed. I wished that Champ had asked to spend the night, but I didn't tell him. I was too upset. Upset with myself, upset with what was happening to me, and upset with why I was the way I was.

As the car rounded the corner of Alamo Street, I saw the flashing red and white lights. They seemed to be coming from near Champ's house. Then I noticed the huge orange flames shooting into the black sky. As we neared his house I saw the fire engines were at his house. We had to pass his house because so many trucks were parked in front of it. We could see the garage engulfed in flames as we drove past the Morin home slowly, looking for a place to stop. I saw several firemen rushing around the fire that consumed the whole garage; I saw the Morin family standing in the front lawn, clinging to one another.

"What the hell?" Champ's tenor voice rang through the car.

Joanie finally stopped the car and we all got out. My body still ached from head to toe, but I was more concerned for what was going on to let it bother me. I watched Champ as he ran to his family. Joanie and I walked behind, and tried to make out what had happened. She said nothing, and neither did I.

"Champ. You're here. I was so worried. I thought you and Jacob were in there," his mother screamed when she saw him, quickly hugged him, and took him into the huddle of the Morin family.

"I told you I was going to the movies with Jacob."

"Yes, yes, you did. I forgot. Oh, Champ, Jacob. I'm so glad to see you." Her voice shook and tears flowed down her cheeks.

I looked at the Morin family as they held onto one another, the only face that seemed lost was Greg's. For some reason Greg appeared to be distant from the events, his eyes cloudy and his facial expression blank. It was almost as if Greg was totally removed from the goings on. I wondered silently to myself, I looked him right in the eyes. For a brief second Greg looked back at me, then quickly shifted his glance to the ground.

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I hope you all liked this chapter. Let me know your thoughts, the address is Justin69SK@aol.com

Thanks, Ed, for the fine job editing.

As Always,
But not forever,
Just,
Justin
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