this is a story about two boys who fall in love. If this is offensive to you, use your back button or go away. All rights reserved, c2003


Hi readers! First off, my deepest apologies for the extreme lateness of this chapter -- I know it's not much fun to read a story when the chapters come so far apart. Unfortunately my PC packed up in October last year, and I haven't been able to get a new one since then. I now finally have a laptop -- but it took some time finding a PC on which I could get my Jay to Jay story off my old hard drive and continue it here.

Needless to say, Chapter 4 was completed a long time ago, a few months, but I haven't been able to publish it until now.

Now that we have that out of the way, I've got to go on the bad news side of things. I have broken up with my boyfriend in November last year, and though the break up was a mutual agreement, the aftermath was not so friendly. I guess sometimes some things are not meant to be, but I do feel kind of sad that things have had to turn so ugly, but that's the way it is.

Fear not, my belief in love is still alive and well! I have definitely matured on the subject of love, but know I have much to learn. I don't believe in fairytales quite so much anymore. Though there's a lot of misery from my last relationship, I feel at least I learnt a lot, it was the first time I had a decent relationship without distance. For that I am thankful, but I don't know who to.

This chapter is dedicated to my twin soul, Nafe. We met over the internet, and thus far, it's as if though we're the same person personality wise. I love him very much, and feel a definite connection with him J No I'm not in love with Nafe -- though if he had to be living near me, I'm pretty sure that'd change! He's a really special boy from Australia, and celebrates his birthday a day after mine.

This chapter is also dedicated to him, because not only is he a special person that survived a really tough past, but he's taking other teenagers out of the cruel world, and keeping them safe -- at such a young age, he's only turning 18!

I admire him, look up to him, and thank him. I swear you're my biggest fan Nafe -- you're always asking about my story!

Right, let's get this posted out of South Africa and into the world -- comments are appreciated, and great motivation to carry on! Thanks to all those who have emailed me already -- if you didn't get a reply from me, it is because somehow the mail didn't want to go through.

Love, Jase

Send all comments, advice, criticisms (constructive) or WHATEVER to


Jannie was not the first person in my life that I observed turning for the worse. Many people change, from good to bad, and sometimes, from bad to good. Some of us just hang there in between.

For most of my life I was good, and I went from that to an `in-betweener'. Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Not TOO good, but not BAD.


The point is that Jannie is gone now. No worries about that. But Justin knows what I mean. His mother disowning him. Now Jannie, supposedly the new security, turns on both of us. He was brooding, upset and dark. I could see him paste smiles on his face with "Colgate" toothpaste adverts. None of his smiles were real. Ok, most of them weren't.

It took me about 2 days to finally figure it out. I quite often have to whack myself on the head for not coming up with the answers sooner as to why he was so sad and hiding it from me, but now I know.

I spoke to IJ about it for quite a bit and finally I had the confidence I needed to talk to Justin. Basically it went like this. I told him to tell me what's wrong. I dragged it out of him. Then I told him what an arsehole Jannie has been in the past, and that Justin should not take it personally.

After all, it was nothing personal. Not towards Justin anyway. It was more this underlying competition between Jannie, and us. "Us" being my brothers and I. Jannie will break us down to get where he wants to be.

It took some nice tight hugging before I was able to open Justin up and get him to lose the whole insecurities. I assured him that soon we'd have our lives on track and Jannie is hardly ever going to be a part of it. Besides -- we have 5 whole months before we smell, I mean see, him again!

A few weeks later it was almost time for me to start Ad School, and for Justin to start college. We had one problem. Justin couldn't JUST start college. This is where things became complicated.

My mother could not pay his studies for him entirely, and there were many other `fine print' details which she could not stand in for under the current legal system and situation. My mother had arranged a meeting with her attorney, and during this time Justin was `allowed' to be taken from home and put into our home.

The attorney consequently met with Justin's mother and organized for her to pay his educational studies as she was previously going to.

According to the attorney it was not easy, she was very angry but emotional about it. He thinks that she is trying to deny his existence, but having to have to pay for him brings back the fact that Justin is well and truly alive and living with another boy.

An educational plan was in place for Justin, but it was not the only expenses that would be incurred. My mother agreed to cover any extra costs if need be.

Two days later we went to the college's and got ourselves registered and the fees arranged for. OH SHIT! I forgot to tell you guys! Justin's college and mine both occupy the same building, so we're ALMOST in the same school!

As my mother, Justin and I were in the office while my mother discussed the registration, all I could do was glance at Justin's blue eyes.

I have another amazing realization! The feeling, the warmth, the bouncing excitement in me ignites a million times more when I stare into Justin's eyes and I see happiness in them! Looking into his eyes I could see the excitement bubbling inside him for the unsure future which we would be able to make GREAT together!

There was one small little thing left, my father would have to pay my fees personally when he came back to South Africa in two weeks time, but luckily there is not much else that I face in the line of problems.

Anyhow, I do not really know what else to let you in on, it's like our first day in school is coming up soon!

The rest of the day was spent in the shopping mall. Two gay guys and one funky mother wandering around getting stuff for `school'. I felt like a little kid again. I looked like a little kid again. I even acted that way! ERM. To tell you all the truth, it was like we were THREE little kids! My mother was acting really weird.

Jamie was also at the mall, and he was with us when we were buying stationary, but he had one of his friends along, and they both observed the nutty situation at hand and decided to make a getaway from us.

We had one weekend left before college started, and I wanted to make it a weekend to remember. I looked at my mother with puppy dog eyes...

"Mooomeeeeeee!!!!! I love you! Can I ask you something?"

" *SIGH* What do you want now? A porn mag?"

WHAT? A PORN MAG? My mother is really taking this nutty thing a but further than I imagined!


*BLUSH* "no..."

silent moment

"I was wondering if Justin and I could go clubbing tonight at B|TCH?"

B|TCH as you may have gathered is a club, and though I don't go clubbing often, I like to from time to time. Justin's eyes lit up aswell. My mother's... well.

"Honey. No ways. NO NO NO WAYS are you going to go to a gay club tonight, and there's no to shits about it... unless you take me with."


No I mean literally!


I sort of know I'm going to collapse, so I sort of fall down myself to make sure I don't get hurt, and as I go down I hear my mother and Justin burst out laughing, but soon everything is white and all sounds fade away. Then nothing.

You idiots! You gullible little creatures! Do you think I'm going to die in the fourth chapter?! Nevermind that, do you think I'm going to die at all!? *BITCH SLAPS ALL GULLIBLE READERS*

Remember, I said "FAINT". Not "DIE".

So I wake up in the manager's office about 10 minutes later with two worried figures around me. Now I blew it. My mother will never go clubbing with me now -- not when I fainted. So the first thing I said was "I was shocked mom. I didn't know you would ever want to go clubbing with us!"

During the ride home I convinced my mom that I was really fine, and consequently she organized for Jamie to spend the night at a friend's house, and we were going to go clubbing after dinner tonight.


After cleaning out the wardrobe trying to find the kinkiest clothes for us, and helping my mom as well, we all piled into the car and headed for a nice restaurant. Well, not too nice -- remembering our dress code. It's not as if we were dressed like sluts, just not formal or anything. I mean hello, I'm with my MOM!

A lot of strange glances and even a few horrified and shocked looks from other guests at the restaurant towards our table was very apparent.

We were doing all sorts of crazy things at the table, and I am pretty sure that the waiters would have kicked us out if they didn't find what we were doing funny, but luckily everyone had a sense of humour -- some even joined in! Hehe!

Anyway, after paying the bill (which was much reduced just because everyone loved us) we headed for B|TCH.

At first it was weird, none of us had really ever been to this club, and this would also be the first time I ever went clubbing with Justin.

It was also Justin (any my mother's) first time in a gay club. Justin was all energized and bouncy, and I was too, but a part of me was holding back, just SLIGHTLY, but nevertheless.

In the past clubbing had been a really lonely experience for me. I went with friends that weren't really all that close to me and the experience was turning depressive as I would see guys together, kissing and being happy, and in the back of my mind I was dealing with a whole lot of pain.

This time I would be one of those guys. The happy kind, I have Justin now, nothing else really matters. My mom is with me too, which makes things even more relaxing.

Justin was very nervous, obviously unsure of the whole situation. This is another new step for him into the `gay' world. In the past it's been all about girls and straight clubs. Things are really weird for all of us now, but excitement is bubbling under as we open the car doors and hear the bass reverberating from the club... SENSATIONAL

I wink at Justin, and he grabs me to WHAM a big kiss on me! As we approach the club I notice an old internet friend of mine, `J' and some girl friend of his. I used to have a big crush on J, but that was a while ago. I had many crushes, mostly on guys I didn't even meet. You know the internet -- it makes some of us so stupid and weak.

He was so surprised (and I think relieved) to see me, as he was not really much of a clubber. We all went in together as a group, and I was feeling on top of the world, because a close friend, his friend, my boyfriend and my mother were all going clubbing together! CLUBBING! TOGETHER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

While we're dancing and all those gizmo's I once again get time to think... Dancing is very good thinking time for me, you'll notice how I seem to disappear after a while in my own mind...

Strange, one of the many things I think about is cats, how they love to do the things they shouldn't do, just because they want your attention at the most inconvenient of times. I mean what if, one day, in the future I decide I want to tell my love story to all sorts of people out there, and while I try and type my feelings, a white, squeeky-voiced feline decides that my arms are just so cozy?

What if?

That's not all I think about.... As my love with Justin develops, so new realizations dawn upon me. It feels good to have someone around me all the time, someone I can touch without inhibition, kiss when my heart feels the need to absorb his soul, and just be around....

This all feels so new to me though. Having someone around all the time, I begin to fear what life would be like if I had to be alone again... I quickly shook out of it, was a horrible thought, besides...

The beat of the music was moving in time with my body now, a constant rhythm as I mouthed the words to songs I knew and weaved my body speedily through the imaginary cotton as my body `convulsed'. It's just as if I'm a piece of cloth, drifting in the air, and every beat of the bass is a breath of air that moves me...

Every so often I'd be dancing in time with Justin or my mom, smiling with the shared communication with our bodies. A club is a world on its own, a whole new world that one experiences...

Justin's dancing stumped me though, although, it made me smile so widely, he looked so amazing!!! I'm sure I saw a few people staring at him, glaring at me for having this god of a boy, and I often wondered what he'd look like up on the stage...

My mother is still a mom though, and she couldn't dance forever, so our night drew to a close at about 1:30 in the morning. As we waddled out to the car, my arm crept between out bodies, pulling Justin tightly to my side as I relaxed and enjoyed the amazing breath of fresh -- cool air. The air smelt cleaner, mostly because there had been a tiny little bit of rain while we were inside, and it did a little good in making things appear clean.

Justin hopped in front, I myself in the back, and off we went, back home. Not much could happen afterwards, we were both pretty drained when we arrived and settled in for our peacefully happy sleep...

Justin and myself, intwined.

It's sometimes hard for me to see the world through his eyes. I'm a very closed and private person, and it is had for me sometimes to expand my world. I found myself often wondering how much happiness Justin has of his own life brought into ours.

Justin seemed to have a lot of good things -- but also that tiny bit of hidden darkness inside of him. I know that time will bring out what is hidden, he needed time. So I was going to take things slowly, bringing everything together one step at a time.

Right now all I wanted to do was make sure Justin could fit into his new home and his new family, at least until his mom comes around...

Other than that, my thoughts were exploring my new reality, the reality of love. We both felt the love grow every day, and we both expressed how amazing it was to feel the love of someone else near to yours while the world stands still.

At least it felt that way...

You know, you live in this like warp effect, and while you're there, it's as if you're smoked up or something. I personally don't do drugs and shit like that, but I do however know a few people that do... They always describe one thing, there's no concept of time. Everything happens as it does, you don't know how long it takes or why you're doing it. It all just happens. Sort of like going with the flow, and having no watch to check where the flow is taking you.

So in the same way Justin and I had no concept of time. We were in our own freaky warp, the whole summer long. And our freaky warp made me forget how near college was. Sorry, hehe, I decided now that the `time space' happening when u first fall in love, will know be known as the freaky warp.

The last day of vacation was pretty weird, with the unknown future mere hours ahead of us, the new chapter about to open in our lives. Soon, we were going to take the baby steps into a side of adulthood where hopefully we will learn to be strong and independent.

The weird atmospheric feeling put aside, the day was pretty normal. We watched t.v, with the occasional tickle in-between ad breaks, made small-talk with my mom, you know, all sorts of usual every day things.

One thing that I really loved was lying on my bed when the sun was just below the horizon, as darkness began to overcome our daily light. It is such a beautiful time of the day, but it is so peaceful in my room when it starts going dark. As if my own world is just blooming independently for a while.

I remember how lying in the dark like that used to give me hope for the life I felt I never had. I was so depressed, I started drawing hope from strange corners of my life. That's one of the parts of me that just is so different, I live in my own parallel universe most of the time.

With Justin right by my side this time, our hands gently touching each other's, our legs entwined, things seemed so different. I was no longer on my bed searching for hope. Instead, I was reflecting on the answering of my prayers. I had my soul mate, I had the life I wanted.


"Yeah Jay?"

"I dunno."


"I dunno. *sigh*"

"Uh, ok?" *questioning glance* "What don't you know?"

"How I feel"

*uncomfortable shift* "How you feel about what?"

"Growing up."

"You mean going to college?"


"You mean, being an adult? Being, I dunno, laying the foundations for your whole life?"


See, this is why I just LOVE Justin! He knows what I mean, even though I dunno what I mean. I mean, how often do you feel like in your heart, someone understands what you mean? Know what I mean?

"Jus, it's just. Here I am, tomorrow I start college. It's new people, a new world, my life will now be unpredictable, scary. What's worse, is that I'm there to start the rest of my life you know? I don't know if I am right to start the rest of my life tomorrow?"

"Jay, don't worry. I mean, I'm here. I'm also starting my future. But our lives are a future together. Think of tomorrow as starting OUR lives together, OUR future you know? I promise we will manage to deal with it, somehow, I know how you feel."

"You really think we'll manage? I mean, we can't stay here forever, we can't hang on to my parents forever. But, if we no longer need them, then we're alone..."

"Jay, listen. I know it's kinda scary, learning to live without your mom. *hesitant silence* Ok Jay, it's HARD. But I have you to help me live without MY mom. And you will have me to do the same. It's much more than just living without your mom, I know, it's a whole change of life, the role you play in it. And I know that we both are going to need each other SO much in the next few months and years of our lives, but let's just take it one day at a time. You're still here, and so am I. WE are here, for each other. I love you baby! I won't let anything get you down ok? Together, that's the only way I see it... Don't be afraid angel..."

Naturally when someone tells you words so beautiful, you become a mushy freaky being, even though you might be bitch-zilla, which thank you I am not. I just couldn't control my emotions anymore and before Justin could even think about saying anything else, I was on top of him, kissing him, and hugging him so tightly I dunno how I mustered the power to squeeze my arms behind his back. Which is lying on the bed, which is why I needed power.

*knock knock*

Sorry to break the emotional moment there, but I'm knocking on your heads to look for common sense.

Oh, no wait... It's my mom. She's knocking on the door.

"Boooys? Are you sleeping?"

"Uh, no mom, just lying down, what now?" I was a bit, just a little, agitated, you know, by having the moment interrupted. If I had MY way, we would have been there till we died of hunger.

"Dinner's ready! Come eat sweety."

Figures. It's like she knew I was thinking that at that moment. Mothers. Sometimes I'm afraid, because I mean, I'm a boy, I don't always think, uh, pure thoughts. I wonder if she senses that? How scary would that be, if mother's knew you were thinking -- uh -- other things. *giggle* I'm getting afraid of myself here, let's just go eat.





There, I just gave you a lesson on summarization. Learn it. And then teach me once you've perfected it, because I sucked at it in high school.

Anyway, we both were very, uh, slow to fall asleep, firstly due to insomnia, probably an excitement to sleep. Then we both found, erm, something we needed to finish. And then it was a slow trance that just lasted about half an hour before we finally drifted off...

The next morning my mom dropped Justin and myself off at college at about 8:45am. Classes only starts at 9, which is a whole hour later than most educational institutions in the city. We prodded up the stairs together, careful not to look too together or anything.

As we got up to the 1st floor (you enter the building from the basement by the way) I looked left (standing in the elevator) and Justin looked right.

"Good luck baby, I love you."

"You too Jase."

Justin proceeded right, towards his college's reception. My college was to the left. I had seen the reception and office areas when I was here for the interview in early October of last year. But now I was going into the lecture halls. I couldn't really imagine the size of the college, it seemed quite small from the outside, but boy was I wrong.

A sign indicated that all first year marketing students should head towards what they call the "strat room". I was so nervous as I walked into the larger of the lecture rooms, although it isn't a HALL, unlike universities. I immediately looked for faces I might recognize, but noticed none. I could feel my old self coming back, the intensly shy, afraid being. I sat off towards the corner, and there I remained.

Finally the staff entered, and all the usual speeches were delivered, rules laid out, optimism shared, and some general plans presented for the coming week. The different faculties were divided, and my fellow class-mates (and myself) were asked to remain as a few other groups were assigned to different rooms.

The building was very colourful by the way. It did have a welcoming atmosphere, that much I could admit.

Anyway, a very bouncy, plump lady, in her early twenties came up and introduced herself. Soon we were presented with a brief, in other words an assignment. We were divided into groups, and given a word "tomato" . That's it. One word.

They told us we could be as creative as we want. We should have something to present, and some sort of A4 page. That's all they said. We asked questions. They told us to improvise. And she left. We had the rest of the day to do whatever we wanted, even if that included going home. Although, we met in our respective groups to begin planning hell knows what.

It was awkward in the beginning. I mean, here are 3 people I have NEVER met in my entire life. I didn't know who they were, where thy came from, or ANYTHING. I was the only guy, by the way. I felt so nervous, I'm not exactly a social butterfly. The whole time all I wanted to think about was whether Justin was ok.

Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin.

It's all I wanted to think.

A few introductions and pathetic attempts at conversation were made. Then the brainstorming began. We had to do something. Come up with something. In the end, we came up with a pathetic idea of making some sort of jar full of cosmetics. How did it tie in with tomato? Fuck knows. I pretend to know.

We seemed to decide that you can divide the word into three syllables, TO -- MA -- TO. As in, to mom, and then another to. In South Africa "Ma" is sort of Afrikaans for Mom, and in English we use it a lot as slang. I used to anyway.

Mom's like cosmetics right? Right. You have to agree damnit, this sucks as it is! The plan was we would go home and think about what we could contribute to the cosmetics jar. We had to have a jar. I wasn't listening when we linked a jar to this whole stupid idea, but I knew there was a jar involved.

We called it a day. So I waited for Justin the rest of the day. Eventually he came out of his college, at 1:30pm. My college is scheduled to end at 12:45, but we finished hours before. I was so tired of waiting, and when I saw that cute blonde boy ambling out of his lecture rooms I just wanted to jump up and kiss him madly.

I restrained myself.

In case you were wondering. Anyway.

I did communicate as much of my happiness as I possibly could muster in my eyes. I mean, I finally had my boy here with me again!!!

We went to the basement and out to the parking lot to wait for my mom. All the while Justin was telling me about all the people he saw, and what his classes were like, all sorts of things. You gotta love him, he sounded so sweet talking all the time.

I on the other hand didn't share his enthusiasm. Justin tried his best to make me look forward to things, and well, he sorta succeeded, but I was still really worried about what I was going to do about this stupid project we had.

The rest of the day was the usual little things, you know, mom asking questions, and then stupid every day things. Nothing special. I spent about an hour paging through magazines searching for inspiration. Nothing really inspired me, but I did cut out a few things.

Oh yeah, and Tuesday would be `team building day'. We would be doing things to get to know each other. Oh wasn't I just too excited. Well, I guess it was a good idea.

Bedtime couldn't have arrived a minute too soon...

Of course, I had to be up the next morning again. Mornings were fun at least now that I had Justin with me. We both really hate waking up, that's for sure, but when your mind wakes up enough to realize your soul mate is right next to you, it's all good... At least we can wake up together, I can't imagine what it would be like waking up and leaving my angel to sleep while I have to go to work or whatever.

I guess it won't be long before I find out...

The first thing Justin and I do when we wake up is yawn, stretch arms and legs -- all over each other of course. Next it's some sort of appreciation of each other. Usually I look into his pale grey tired eyes. They are so beautiful -- no matter what light you are in. Then I touch a few wondering strands of hairs, and brush them away from his eyes. Without blinking, I slowly move in, and kiss him gently on the nose, then a short kiss on the lips.

I know I know, you're all ruining this special morning moment thinking "Eeeew morning breath!" but seriously, get a life. A gentle kiss on the lips does nothing to make me feel even remotely nauseous, and I get like that really easily. You should try it. Gently does it!

Justin returns the love by kissing me on my forehead, then pulling me into a tight cozy hug... and then -- and this is where Justin has more energy than me in the morning -- starts tickling me... Justin knows that just 5 seconds of that and I've jolted so much from the feeling that I'm wide awake.

We're laughing so much that starting a day actually feels good! Yesterday it wasn't that good, there was the whole weird atmosphere. Today I'm quite a lot more optimistic than I was before.

So up we get, the usual morning routines, breakfast included, and then my mom drives us off to college. Justin and I parted in the parking lot, as the sports fields were in an opposite direction. The fields is where we were told to meet today, for our `get to know each other' day.

At first I was a little bit nervous again, not quite sure where I was going, but eventually I found my way to the right place, following the other students to a little grouping. We didn't really talk much, we were still a bit touchy-feely with other students.

It's always weird when you're between a group of strange people, and you try and guess where they come from, what their lives are like, what their ambitions are, and why pray tell they chose advertising!

Eventually the bouncy lecturer arrived, with a huge smile on her face, as always, and led us off to the field. It was almost like being in primary school or kindergarten even, we were all asked to stand in a huge circle, state our names, age, where we came from and what we would buy with R5000, at that time equivalent to about US$500.

When it was my turn I mentioned all the relevant facts, but I had to include ice-cream in my `shopping list'. I don't know if I ever said anything, but I really, really love ice cream. It's second to Justin!

Being around all the new students (I'm still tempted to call them kids even though I'm by far one of the youngest between MOST of them!) is weird. I know I have this secret, and I don't know if I should tell anyone, how I should go about it.

Most of the day was spent being divided in all sorts of different groups, and being given different projects with each group. Included was a treasure hunt and some sort of logo-building thing, and the logo thing earned me some recognition , as I had a very good idea and the lecturer gave us the best evaluation.

Of course every group you were in varied for each different task, so that you could gain experience with all sorts of students, just sort of get to know them.

One of the early and most -- err -- type of games was one to remember. We were divided into two groups, the one group sent off to one side to play cricket, the other group divided into two again. We would then be opposing the other group.

Next we were asked to divide into sets of two, and our legs were tied together. You know, like for three-legged races? Two by two you were to go through an obstacle course whilst your opponents did the same, and upon your return to the line the next pair in your group would go.

Shit I hope this makes sense. This all has some sort of pointless stupid point, I promise!

There was a large tub, then a couple of metres further a smaller tub, then a beacon you had to run around before returning. In the large tub was a bunch of apples floating in water. Without using your hands you had to take a bite out of one. In the second tub there was candy coated little chocolate sweets hidden in a shit load of icing sugar. Yet again, without using your hands you had to find one and eat it. Take note, both our faces were now WET from the apple thingy, and now you had to stick your wet face in icing-powder!

So a bunch of white-faced idiots would then go trotting back to the group. *shudder*

Fortunately I was in the first group -- I felt bad for the bunch playing cricket that had to stick their faces in the icing powder after all our faces had been in there!

Hanging out there that afternoon I had noticed two guys especially. One guy was very good looking, I have to admit, yet very one-sided. The other guy was a screaming queen. All I heard was how he identified with the girls, and that kinda annoyed me. Already then I had established I want nothing to do with him.

That went well didn't it?

My day got very much more interesting mind you... During break I headed back up to the college to buy some refreshments from the cafeteria, and while walking back to the sports grounds I ran into my aunt and my one female cousin -- I haven't seen them in what, 2 years? I was so shocked! So were they of course. I told them I was attending advertising school, and it turns out my cousin and her older sister attend the college Justin is in.

They hadn't known about my mother's move to Johannesburg, seeing as they're from my dad's side. Although it was quite nice to see them, I was still slightly shocked. Actually, VERY shocked!

Anyway, never mind them. Most of you guys reading this are gay aren't you? So you don't wanna hear about that shit, you want me to go back to the sports ground. I heard you, and saw the time running out, so I went back. J

A few more games were played in the demanding sun, and generally I actually had a good time. At one stage I went up to the quiet guy, and decided to try and strike up a conversation. I needed to get to know him. I dunno, quiet people have a connection with me, because I always have been.

He was about my length, with blonde hair, not very long, and it looked like it was dyed to look brighter than his natural colour. He had a cute face, with a distinct hint of looks similar to that of eminem's. He had blue-green eyes, more to the green side though. The look in his eyes were distant, there was a dark side to him. Just by looking at him I knew it, not evil, just something that he hid from the world.

"Uh, so, uh it's a hot day hey?" I'm not good at making conversation, so bare with me through these awkward moments. Please?


"So, where you from?"

"Uhm. Blairgowrie."

"Oh kewl, that's just other side the road! I'm Jason, from Sandton. This is so weird, all sorts of strangers, I'm not exactly good at this shit..."

"Hehe, yeah... *silent few seconds, nervous twitching by Jason* Sandton... Kewl. Oh, sorry, I'm Daryl. Yeah, don't worry, I'm not good at this either, people don't usually approach me."

That was my chance to get in on his inside. I don't know, normally I would be too afraid to even approach someone, nevermind try and delve deep inside of them, especially guys. But this time it was easy...

"Why? I mean, doesn't look like there's anything wrong from my point of view?"

"Yeah, that's cuz maybe you didn't notice my very anti-social look... *hehe* Actually, I guess I also don't always just mingle with everyone. I'm not exactly the same as everyone else I guess."

"I know what you mean..."

He took out a box of cigarettes at that point and lit one, muttering he wanted to quit. I got the feeling he'd tried that a hundred times before.

Well, okay, after a couple of minutes we began to open up to each other. We had a lot in common in terms of personality, so much so that I was quite shocked. Then we discovered our birthdays were a day apart, which kinda was strange. There was quite a cool link between us.

Then a sort of common topic came up, what is my favourite movie. I told him that it was this old 1995 movie he'd never heard of called "The Cure". It was then he asked me whether the movie was about some boy with aids. NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY I have EVER met in my whole life has EVER known that movie, and here this boy told me HE HAS A COPY! I was like sO surprised!

You see, when I was younger I fell in love with this movie, I must have watched it a 100 times or something! Until a little mishap with Jamie ended up in most of the movie being taped over. I was so happy to hear he knew this movie!

The Cure is a 1995 movie by Joel Schumacher about a young boy that gets aids through a blood transfusion. After moving in a new neighbourhood he has no friends, and no willing potentials because he has aids, until his neighbour and him become friends over the fence. It's quite touching, because they become intensely close and search for a cure to save him.

You guys should look for the movie, both Daryl and myself definitely loved it!

Before I knew it my phone was ringing, it was my mom. Well, it was Justin phoning from her phone, they were waiting for me already. I said my goodbye's to my new friend and ran off to my mom's car, I couldn't wait to tell Justin about Daryl!

Justin was quite interested in Daryl, but more than that, he was happy that I was making a decent friend after all my bitching from the day before.

Likewise though, Justin said he was fitting in well with the other students in his faculty, although I immediately knew it would be a number of guys, not just one. I was different, I could only take them one at a time, and I preferred it that way, it made me have personal friendships...


Hey Guys

Well that's the end of this chapter -- I know it's terribly short cut and heavily overdue -- I'm posting it now though, so BE HAPPY! I have no idea how long it will take me to do Ch.5, I need to re-read ch.4 myself to figure out where I'm at myself -- and things are a bit hectic (badly) in my life right now, so it's not gonna be easy, but my heart is into this, I'll get it out there!