At the start of this story, you were advised that sex play was to occur between under-aged boys. And sure enough, by chapter two, it was occurring. Then some more occurred in chapter three. Possibly not quite as much as you were hoping for, but still, there was some.
So it would seem to me that by now all the people who don't want to be here are in fact not here and all those who shouldn't be here aren't here either.
But maybe you decided you would read this chapter first. Well, that don't make any sense. Why would you do such a thing? You've missed almost all of the angst and some of the foreplay. Even if that might be a good thing. Depends on how you look at it. But still...
If it is illegal due to place of residence or age or anything else recently thought up to read material such as this, then exit immediately.
At around 1:30 AM, Tuesday, June 29th, Lucas finally had his epiphany. It was clear as clear could be: once again, he'd overreacted. But at least this time he hadn't made things worse, so why not just let it ride? I mean, Jedidiah was every bit as cute as one of those inaccessible fill-in-the-blank teen-aged movie stars, you know? Except he wasn't likely to ever see some teeny-bopper's dream boy naked. He wasn't going to find himself working side by side with him. He wasn't going to see that teenaged heartthrob naked with a hard-on and he certainly wasn't ever going to be jerking him off. But he'd done it with Jedidiah, so why not just be satisfied? Exactly what was he hoping to accomplish by coming out?
Well, he was really hoping Jedidiah would then come out himself, that's what he was hoping, but from past experience he knew things might work out differently. So he'd wait. Hopefully not forever, but at least for awhile. And so as not to appear too eager, he'd let Jedidiah call the shots. If he wanted to do some more mutual wanking, well, great; if he wanted to go a little beyond that, well, that would be even better – for example, his idea about giving each other rubdowns sounded promising – but he was going to wait until Jedidiah brought it up himself.
Only there was one problem with that plan. Jedidiah was waiting for Lucas to bring the subject up. Jedidiah could hardly believe that he'd asked Lucas if he wanted to jerk off again– and he wouldn't have if Lucas had only asked first – but he wasn't going to do that again. So maybe it wouldn't happen again, but if it did, well, it wouldn't be quite so bad if it was Lucas' idea, right?
This war between good and bad Jed, will it ever end?
Possibly not. Although eventually another compromise is likely to be reached.
First, he wanted to get through his worthiness interview though. The one right around the corner when he reached his fourteenth birthday.
As it turned out, he got through that interview by fibbing just a little. Although I suppose if you really wanted to get all technical about it, then he fibbed quite a bit, but he repented for sort of misrepresenting things not long afterwards and he also resolved to try avoid those temptations in the future. The key word is “try.” He wouldn't bring it up himself, but if Lucas did and he gave in, well, he'd try again.
Try for what, exactly? Well, um...
He'd TRY to be good. He really wanted to. But sometimes there are going to be stumbling blocks, it's a part of growing up.
Actually, it's part of being human, but that's why for a few days almost nothing happened. Jedidiah was waiting on Lucas, only Lucas was waiting on Jedidiah, and to make matters even worse...
Lucas decided he'd be cool about it. It was stupid of him to get upset over the Jeddry brothers. He had a band and a place to record, so what more could he ask for? Someone to love would be nice, but if it wasn't in the cards, then he'd go the tortured artist route. I mean, is that cool or what?
He'd been cool Saturday when he was just trying to act that way. He'd been cool Monday when he played hard to get. Well, it worked for Garbo, didn't it? But Tuesday afternoon he was into the music totally, as though nothing had ever happened. So okay, he was being unpredictable. Or perhaps moody, but still, that is really cool.
It came across as cool even though the Jeddrys had no idea Lucas had been in one of his moods in the first place, and since he was only beginning to know him, Jedidiah simply assumed that he'd gotten up on the wrong side of the bed Monday morning. But Tuesday afternoon Lucas was all business and he definitely knew what he was doing. He knew what was good and what needed more work. Not only could he appreciate Jedidiah's talent, he allowed himself to appreciate the Jeddrys'. They could sing, for one thing, and even if he couldn't too well, he still knew when it sounded right. If you can forget yourself, if you're totally immersed in something you're good at, then it's likely that you'll come across as being very cool indeed.
He didn't do all that hoping to make Jedidiah jealous... but possibly that's only because he wasn't aware that he could.
Jedidiah started feeling pangs of jealousy for the same reasons Lucas had on Saturday, he simply assumed. Because Kelly and Katon were nearer Jedidiah's age than he was, Lucas thought Jedidiah would soon be hanging out with them more than with him, and in a way that was a logical conclusion. So when Kyle started coming out of his shell Tuesday afternoon, that's when it seemed to Jedidiah that pretty soon it was going to be Lucas and Kyle getting real tight, because after all, THEY were closer to being the same age. It was a perfectly logical conclusion to make even if it was the wrong one.
At fifteen, Kyle's growth spurt had started, but it was mostly straight up, as he was right at six feet tall but probably weighed less than 130 pounds. He had rusty red hair, almost like Steve's. He still had a fairly young face, but to be honest... well, he was just plain-looking. He wasn't ugly and he wasn't incredibly good looking, he was average, that's about all you could say. But his looks wouldn't have precluded him as far as Lucas was concerned, it was just that he was still thinking about being in love with Jedidiah, so he wasn't looking for anyone else.
Kyle could be as shy as Lucas could be, and his growth spurt aggravated things even more, because he felt very self-conscious about it. But what really bothered him was not being able to trust his voice any more. He knew he'd outgrow it, but he had no idea how long it would be before that happened. It was like being sick. Kelly and Katon loved to sing, but probably not as much as he had before his voice started changing. He still could, and if he warmed up properly and concentrated, he had a nice tenor, but he couldn't sing with any enthusiasm. Being overly enthusiastic can lead to forgetting yourself and straining your voice. And sometimes there were unexpected croaking sounds.
Tuesday afternoon, Gasolin' finally caused Kyle to forget himself. Gasolin' was another one of Lucas' finds, but the thing is, in Denmark they were as big as the Beatles. Their style is pretty much folk rock, so it's... well, it's often a happy sound. As far as Lucas was concerned, they sounded so happy he was even willing to forget himself and sing. Actually, he was just la-la-la-ing “Det bedste til mig og mine venner”, because the lyrics were all in Danish – you might have gathered that from the title - so okay, he was just sort of singing, but whatever, he was doing it with great enthusiasm.
Although it should also be mentioned that this number gave him a chance to show off on guitar. And not only that, he could cover some of the breaks on electric violin and REALLY show off. What he wanted was to do both electric violin and guitar at the same time – you know, have a duel with himself – and by mixing a track, he could, but still...
But that's when Kyle finally came out of his shell. “Hey, why don't we try this? I do the first guitar break, you do the second on violin and we can both do the last one.”
And that worked beautifully.
And he also was a much better singer than Lucas. Kyle didn't try to force it, but he sang with great enthusiasm, because it really was a happy song. So he was pretty happy, Lucas and Jedidiah were astounded and his brothers were mostly glad to see him back to being his old self. And besides, they had microphones, so he didn't have to force things all that much and his voice only cracked once. He sang it so well, it took just a little bit for something else to sink in, and that was this: He was singing in Danish. He sang it almost perfectly and if his voice wasn't as distinctively different as Gasolin's lead vocalist's, it was probably better. Just think Pavorotti does Joe Cocker or something. Maybe not quite that extreme, but still close.
Finally Lucas asked, “So... um, you know Danish? ... I mean-”
“No, he's a parrot,” explained Kelly.
Kyle shot his brother a warning look, then tried to explain. “I just remember how the words sound real quick, that's all. ... I can do it in almost any language. ... I don't know how much help it'll be, but I want to sing opera... you know, like at the New York Met.”
“Huh,” said Lucas, then because Kyle sounded slightly defensive about it, he quickly added, “That's good. I heard some of those opera stars have as many groupies as rock stars do. No shortage of ladies, that's for sure.”
“He ain't interest-” Katon started, but then Kelly poked him in the ribs real quick.
Lucas thought he caught the drift, but he wasn't interested. Well, okay, maybe a little – he'd keep it in mind – but what he was really interested in were the musical possibilities. It was almost the same as it had been at first with Michael Rose. “So you know any opera songs or whatever? I mean... arias or duets or... well, you know what I mean...” What he hoped was that he'd defused things enough that Kyle wouldn't retreat back into his shell, and apparently he had.
“Right now, opera might not be a good idea because of the way my voice is changing. I'd be taking a chance on straining it.”
“Oh”, said Lucas, “Well, what about this, then?” and not long afterwards it seemed to Jedidiah that things were really and truly taking a turn for the worse, as another previously unheard of Scandinavian group was introduced. From Finland, for gosh sakes. Leevi and the Leavings. “Teuvo. Maanteiden Kuningas”, and if anything, it was an even happier song.
So everybody was happy except for Jedidiah right about then. “Hey, you know what? I can sing some too!” “Phil Collins is a drummer, and he gets to sing, you know.” “Shoot. They might be cussing and they wouldn't even know it!” He kept his thoughts to himself and pouted only a little, but this wasn't working out quite as well as he thought it would.
What he didn't understand was that the Lucas he'd seen up until then was only starting to open up. Up until then he'd been very careful to keep a part of himself a secret, but with the Jeddrys he didn't feel that sexual pull, so he wasn't afraid of revealing too much of himself. With the sexual element in the background, what he felt was close to euphoria, because they were going to be great! They had a near-world-class violist (himself) (his lack of self-confidence did not in any way extend to things musical), two really good guitarists (himself and Kyle) a future world-class lead singer (Kyle), two awfully good backup vocalists (Kelly and Katon), a possible world-class drummer (Jedidiah), and a goddamn, mutherfucking Mellotron! Oh, and while he didn't know if the Jeddrys really had world-class talent on their accordions, they did sound good. And all those other instruments they now had at their disposal - I mean, this was unreal!
So, yeah, Lucas did feel like he was almost in heaven, but Jedidiah was... well, he was a bit put out that afternoon. But fortunately he wasn't quite so prone to overreacting.
There was no sudden epiphany for Jedidiah, it was more like something gradually coming to light. Possibly the first glimmer came that Tuesday night when he kept wondering why it was so important that Lucas didn't start hanging out with Kyle more than with him. I mean, why did it matter so much? They were still friends, weren't they? Of course. So why was he wanting something else? And for that matter, exactly what else was he looking for? That night he couldn't even attempt answering those questions, but they were still there and it didn't seem like they were going to stop bothering him anytime soon.
The sex games he'd played with Joey were only that, games. True, from the start they knew that the games had to be kept secret and it was also true that those games produced feelings unlike anything else ever experienced, but still, it was only a game and without ever saying as much, simply getting those feelings was the only real purpose of the game, it couldn't be anything beyond that. Being in love with each other wasn't an option - in fact, it wasn't even possible. I mean, it really wasn't, right?
Well, if you tell yourself that it's not possible, then maybe it's not.
Wednesday night was Scout night, and after it was over he spent the night with the Kelly and Katon again. Katon had his own room, but since Jedidiah was considered to be as much his guest as Kelly's, he slept in a sleeping bag between the two beds occupied by Kelly and Jedidiah.
At any rate, that night the usual slightly dirty jokes were sniggered at, but it seemed to Jedidiah that things weren't likely to get any more adventuresome. So he was wishing they'd just shut up and let him go to sleep, and after awhile, Kelly seemed to feel the same way. He whispered to his younger brother, “Oh, why don't you just shut up and go to sleep. You don't know anything about nothing!”
“Oh, I know about plenty of things”, Katon shot back, “I know you're always playing around with your skin flute.” (Snigger snigger.)
That was a new one on Jedidiah. “Skin flute? What kind of instrument is that? I haven't ever heard of-”
Then Kelly interrupted his thoughts with, “Well at least I got one to play with. You probably don't even know how yet.”
Dawning recognition on Jedidiah's part. As in, “Oh. I get it. ... Or at least, I think I do.”
“Oh, I know how all right,” Katon said smugly.
Kelly: “So how many times a day you do it?”
“Wouldn't you like to know. ... You do it all the time, though.”
“You been peeking at me or something?”
“No, I can HEAR you, dumb nuts.”
Then after a few moments of pregnant silence, Kelly asked, “Hey Jedidiah. You ever do it?”
Jedidiah could feel himself getting stiff. Yes! Sex games! “Um, yeah, sometimes,” he managed.
Sounding incredulous, Katon went, “Sometimes? Kelly does it ALL the time!”
Firing back at his brother, Kelly interrupted with, “I do not. ... But I do do it sometimes. Just like you do, stupid.”
“Yeah, right!” said Katon.
“So...” Kelly paused, then in a low voice, he popped the question Jedidiah was almost certain he was waiting on. ... “So you wanna do it now?”
“Yes! Sex games!”
Only as it turned out those games left a lot to be desired. Because what the heck, he'd seen Joey hard plenty of times. He'd seen Lucas quite a few, and he'd also seen him jerk off and the next time, they'd jerked each other off, but this just earnestly jerking just themselves off... well, you know, Kelly did himself – with his eyes closed almost the entire time – and Katon did himself, although he was looking over at Jedidiah most of the time, but still...
It didn't seem likely that the games were going to be taken very much further at all. Although it did seem like Katon was all for going further, because after catching his breath, (it was a dry one), he went, “Hey, I got an idea! ... And it's a good one too. ... Let's have wrestling matches! You wanna?” That was a pretty good idea.
But before Jedidiah could say yes, Kelly butted in with, “No way, man! That's... oh shit ... shit... here... it... go-” So at least Jedidiah got to see him cum, but once he caught his breath, he finished, “Wrestling naked is gay, don't you know anything?”
Sounding wounded, Katon started, “Well, I don't know why-”
“It just is. Trust me on this. ... Ain't it, Jedidiah?”
“Yeah.” “Gay? Wrestling naked is gay? ... Guess it's a good thing I didn't say anything.”
Jedidiah was awake for a long time that night. “I'm not gay. ... Am I? ... If I'm not, then why am I thinking about watching Kelly jerk off? ... It's pretty big though. Bigger than mine is, and he ain't even got any hair yet. .... But why are you THINKING about this? ... Katon's is cute. Skinny, but kinda long. ... So does this make me gay? Wondering what it would feel like doing it to them, does that make me gay? ... No, it doesn't. I'm just curious about them being uncircumcised. But that don't make me gay or anything. ...”
He finally went to sleep that night telling himself that he wasn't.
Then came the next day. Thursday, July 1st. The first thought that hit him that morning was, “Well, maybe I am, then.” It almost came as a relief, even if he was still leaving himself an out. Because after all, his father said sometimes boys his age experimented - in fact, he even said that he'd been tempted at that age himself, but... they would outgrow it. At least most of them would. And he was pretty normal, right? So... he wouldn't worry about it too much.
Since he was at the Jeddry's, he had to put on some clean underwear, chafing or no chafing, but once he was on his way over to Lucas' uncle's place, the first chance he got, he ducked into the woods and got rid of them, he just left them right there. And that in itself was quite a rush - in fact, he'd been a little stiff from the time he first thought of doing it and then once it was done he stayed hard for the rest of the way over. Fortunately, there wasn't a lot of traffic on the road that time of the morning.
But curiously enough, Lucas had decided to be an exhibitionist himself that day, even if it didn't look like it at first. Right off, Jedidiah was disappointed, because Lucas was wearing a pair of blue sweat pants. Only he wasn't wearing anything underneath, and they were a little loose on him, so they kept trying to slip down past his bony hipbones. Then as it got hotter, his sweat pants got looser and looser. Lucas acted like he was getting exasperated - in fact he commented once, “I didn't know it was going to be this bad!”, but he DID know. (The comment was made right after they accidentally fell down almost to his knees. It was quite a sight, because he really had a nice ass.)
It's a wonder they got any work at all done that day. For example, soon as Jedidiah showed up, Lucas was nervous and was wishing he hadn't thought about being an exhibitionist, so he wasn't the least bit hard and because Jedidiah was at first disappointed and was wishing HE hadn't decided to be an exhibitionist, he wasn't hard either. No, at first they both were feeling pretty deflated, but since Jedidiah was working on a ladder up above him, just as soon as Lucas glanced up... Yes! Almost an instant hard-on. Then Jedidiah casually glanced down at Lucas and noticed his tent. “He's not wearing anything underneath today either. ... And he just looked right up my shorts and he's getting a boner!” and there his went too. But then after a little bit they would get used to it and they'd go back down for awhile. Not at the same exact time, but they would eventually. But then those sweats Lucas was wearing started slowly inching down again. Lucas pretended he didn't notice, but he could tell. “Wonder how far I'm going to let them go?” and just like that, he'd start getting stiff again, and noticing a tent-like formation reforming in Jedidiah's shorts wasn't conducive to getting soft right away. Up and down, up and down, almost all morning!
Basically, they were torturing each other. I mean, after a while it can sure feel that way. Lucas had no idea it would work as well as it did: in fact, at first it was more like he was just daring himself to do it. He still had no idea how far Jedidiah wanted to go, but after about an hour or so he was pretty sure that at least there was going to be some more mutual wanking, and maybe... “Wonder if I can bring up that rub down idea of his again?”
No, really, he was still setting very modest goals for himself and while dropping your pants in front of someone else seemingly is sending out a fairly strong signal, they'd both worked stark naked the week before, so the only added element was his tease bit. But he still wasn't sure if he could suggest anything first. Still!
Except maybe... “Hey, Jedidiah, let's take a break, okay? ... It's getting hot up here!”
And so they did. Jedidiah sat on the front steps with his legs innocently wide apart, Lucas was sitting right below, looking up his shorts again. It was a great view, but maybe they'd tortured each other TOO much that morning - or maybe they were just getting used to it, but whatever, at least no more tents were erecting themselves. So that's not really progress: no, they'd overdone it.
“Hey, you wanna wrestle? I bet I can pin you.” Jedidiah sounded so innocent!
But then, what's wrong with wrestling anyway? So with hardly a tremor Lucas replied, “I don't know if you can or not, but I guess we can try. ... As long as my pants don't come down again.” He was trying to sound rueful and not hopeful.
“Oh. ... Well, I can solve that problem real quick,” and...
“What kind of wrestling is THIS?” No, honestly, at first Lucas was surprised, just a quick yank and his sweats were down at his ankles.
But he recovered quickly. “Oh, so THAT'S how you want to play huh? Well, okay, fine then,” and seconds later, all Jedidiah had on was his socks and shoes.
Then a couple of seconds later that's all Lucas had on as well. Naked wrestling! This was great!
And it really was a wonderful thing, and he thought Jedidiah grabbed at his dick first – and he was giggling about it, so you know... well, okay, I gotta grab him back ... but even so, it suddenly came to Lucas that it might be more fun if they slowed down a little. Or a whole lot. Although for appearance's sake, he wanted to pin Jedidiah because, after all, he was two and a half years older.
But, oh well, being pinned wasn't so awful, either. Not if he was going to be right on top of him like that, it sure wasn't, “but we are still going to damn fucking fast here!”
“Okay, okay, you win,” said Lucas in a muffled tone of voice, “so you want me to giveyouarubdown?” (The reason the last part came out all in a rush was because Lucas was on the verge of losing it. They were like dick-to-dick there!)
“Oh, okay. Get my back first, okay?” and with that, Jedidiah rolled off and calmly got into position face down on the floor. Then Lucas took a deep breath and sat up, but then he lost it. He was trying hard as he could to maintain, but he just couldn't. I mean, really, dick-to-DICK? Jeez!
But that was okay, because he hadn't really experienced any honest to goodness post-orgasmic blissful stroking since right before Steve started freaking out. And considering what he had in mind, well, he probably couldn't have held out for very much longer anyway. Because this time he was going to take the scenic route, starting from his neck and slowly, gently working his way down. Although acting like he was visiting a foreign planet, well, in a way it worked out okay because Jedidiah started giggling. For example, “What's the anatomical term for these... um... well, your shoulder blades? You know what they are?”
“Well, whatever they are, they're not my shoulder blades. You're in the middle of my back!”
“Well, you got two of them.”
“Well, I always DID have two of them.”
“Oh. ... Well, okay, let's see how many ribs you got here.”
“I think... quit tickling! ... I gottwelve...just like... youdo!”
“Say you're ticklish here?”
“Yes! ... Cut it... out!”
“You promise not to tickle me, and I will.”
“OKAY, damn it!”
“You just said a cuss word, Jedidiah.”
“Yeah, I know. Now do it right, okay?”
“Well, okay then.”
At any rate, by the time he reached the small of Jedidiah's back, breaths were quickening and there wasn't nearly as much talking. Lucas was being much more gentle about things, and his penis was straightening out again. Didn't take long at all. He'd already decided he wasn't going to detour around Jedidiah's butt, he wasn't going to go down to his feet and start working his way back up, no, once his fingers reached those two globes of soft, warm, pliable flesh, well, that's where the first part of his scenic tour was going to start in earnest.
And in fact, Jedidiah was hoping Lucas wouldn't decide to detour around his ass either, because now HE was getting close to losing it.
Lucas kneaded and gently squeezed and then pulled the soft globes apart. Both of them thought it felt nice, but when Lucas started slowly tracing a finger down into the deepening crevice between his cheeks, what started going through Jedidiah's mind was something like, “Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh...”
Or, at least, something like that. And that was sort of what Lucas was thinking as well. It was NICE! And not only that, it kept getting better. Although he was slightly startled when just as he traced his finger over his little corrugated mound and circled ever so gently around it – he'd just barely started - Jedidiah all at once jerked.
“I wasn't going to goose you,” said Lucas quickly, “I was-”
“Um, that wasn't it,” sighed Jedidiah.
... “Oh. ... Well, do you want-”
“Umm.” Yeah, that was intense. “...Well... let me do you, then you can finish me, okay? I mean, I ought to be able to hold out longer next time, but... I'm kind of sticky right now.”
Well, by that time, Lucas was almost fully charged again anyway, so sure, why not? Of course he'd gone a lot further, but really, that night he guessed it had been at least three years since he'd felt that good about something.
The uncertainty and the doubts weren't over for either of them, not quite yet, they weren't, but that night there at least seemed to be some reason for hope.
Thanks once again for reading my story, and for your patience. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. But at any rate, stay tuned.