Date: Fri, 11 Jun 2004 23:29:02 -0700 (PDT) From: Randy Subject: Joey and Joshua chapter 2 Joey and Joshua, Chapter 2. By Randy P. Copyright 2004 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: These stories are a work of fiction and contain descriptions of homosexual sex. Any resemblance to real people or events is coincidental. If this type of material offends you, or if you are forbidden by law to read it, please exit the story now. Email comments may be emailed to: usam1a2mbt@yahoo.com. Flames will be deleted without comment. The usual copyright laws apply. Special thank yous go to: Banton for his editing. Please feel free to join our yahoogroup at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/randyswritings/ to receive updates, comment or give feedback on the story. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- After he had moved back home at his parents' insistence, Josh tried to make sense of this hellish event, sitting in his bedroom alone and listening to the one CD that they had preferred above all others. He barely ate or slept, totally immersed in grief and often burst into bouts of intense crying that would send one of the four parents into his bedroom trying to comfort him. Josh refused their efforts, shutting them out and leaving them feeling helpless as they tried to cope with their own grief. The few times he did manage to sleep were filled with nightmares of Scott's mangled body in his arms. When he reached out in a panic to feel for his love and encountered empty space instead, despair and grief would overwhelm him anew. With each progressive day, Josh fell deeper into depression. His parents decided to seek the help of someone who had once been close to him in an attempt to bring him out of the darkness. Derek appeared in response to their call for help. Knocking at the bedroom door and receiving no response, Derek slowly entered the room asking, "Josh, you there?" After looking around the door, Derek walked over to the bed and sat next to Josh. "Hey, buddy, you look like you could use a friend around." "Go away," Josh growled. "I don't want anyone around right now." "Tough. You're hurting and need a friend right now. I'm not leaving you when you need a friend this bad." "I told you, I don't want you here. Get the hell out of here, Derek." Chuckling, Derek moved next to Josh and wrapped his arms around him. "I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me here whether you like it or not, buddy." Sighing and relaxing into Derek's arms, Josh turned his tear-stained face to look at Derek. "You never did listen to me," he grumbled, opening up for the first time since Scott's passing. "No, I didn't. I guess there's bad and good sides to that. Right now, you need to have a close friend to hold you and share your burden. No, I didn't know Scott very well, but I do know you. I'm here, buddy. Your dad told me you've been shutting everyone out. I figured I'd visit you and see if I can help you out," Derek softly explained. Josh sighed, "I've been shutting everyone out on purpose. They have enough to deal with on their plates without me dragging them down too. Besides, I wanted to be alone." "Josh, don't you think that they need you just like you need them? I mean, it's their son and son-in-law they lost. They're hurting as much as you are. All of you need each other right now. How do you think Brad would feel if he lost Janice or your Dad? Or your Mom with your Dad or Janice? I've never seen two families so closely knit together like yours and Scott's. All of you seem like each other's best friends," Derek said, stroking Josh's hair. Thinking that over for a few minutes while chewing on his lower lip, Josh came to the realization that he'd been stupid. "I guess you're right, Derek. I've been dumb." "No, you haven't. You're hurting real bad. Let the bond the five of you have help heal each other. In a time like this, you have to depend on one another for help," Derek reasoned. Josh took a deep breath and snuggled into Derek's arms, "As usual, you're right." Derek smiled and wiped Josh's face tenderly. "I care about you a great deal, Josh. I want to help you as much as I can and be here for you. I know I treated you badly when we were together and I want to make up for that by being here for you right now." "Derek, we settled that at the Prom 3 years ago, remember? You don't owe me anything," Josh answered, feeling a small flash of anger. "Hey, now. I wasn't saying I owe you anything. I was saying I want to be here for you and help you through this and try to do some good in your life for once," Derek replied, keeping his cool. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry, Derek," Josh said as he calmed down. "It's okay. I'm not the best at expressing myself," Derek grumbled with a lopsided grin. "Isn't that the truth?" With a small laugh, Derek hugged Josh tight. Hugging back, Josh rested in Derek's arms. They made small talk and when Josh started to share memories of Scott, Derek held Josh tight and shared his tears and grief. Eventually, Josh fell asleep on Derek, feeling a measure of peace that had been absent the last few days. Derek looked down at Josh and smiled, stroking his hair and fell asleep holding his friend. The next morning after Derek and Josh had breakfast with both families, Josh cleaned himself up, sent out a mass email to everyone in both address books and tried to get some semblance of normality back into his life by helping out around the house. Opening up to all four parents, he tried to be of comfort to all of them and his efforts brought all of them even closer than they had ever been. When the identity results came back from the coroner that day as positive based on dental records, Geoff took over the funeral planning, arranging a small and short ceremony at Josh's request. *** 2 days later, the day before the funeral... *** After finding the day a mild one, Josh, Todd and Brad decided to take the opportunity to change the oil in Josh's car while Janice and Helen worked outside shaking rugs. A car stopped at the foot of the driveway and Todd and Brad looked up curiously from tinkering with the air filter as Josh slid out from under the car after having installed a new oil filter. Getting to his feet, Josh watched as a medium height heavyset man with a crew cut approached them. "Hey, I'm really sorry about what happened with Scott," The man sympathized. "Thank you, we appreciate it," Brad replied. "I wish this hadn't happened. I feel really bad about my rig causing this whole mess." Todd raised his eyebrows and asked, "You were the driver of the truck that hit Scott's car?" The man nodded, "Yes, I was. I feel real bad and I'm really sorry, guys." Josh screamed, "NO!" and launched himself at the man. Brad and Todd reacted, grabbing Josh and pinning him to the ground as the man stumbled backwards. Helen ran toward the scene as Janice disappeared into the house. "I suggest you get out of here," Helen suggested. "Your presence isn't going to help matters." "Right," he said and turned to leave as a siren sounded in the distance, rapidly approaching. As the man pulled out, a police cruiser skidded to a stop, its bubble lights going. Alex leaped out and bee-lined for the men, who were struggling to keep Josh down until after the trucker had left. After Alex joined in, Josh gave up and stayed on the ground sobbing hard. After a few moments on the cold wet ground, Josh calmed down and the men helped him up. Hugging Josh, Alex asked, "You okay, Josh?" "Not really. I think I'll go get cleaned up and lay down," Josh answered, trembling. "Okay. If you need me, just call, ok?" Alex told everyone. After they nodded in assent and Alex exchanged goodbyes with everyone and left, the five of them went into the house. While the badly shaken parents helped themselves to coffee and sat down at the kitchen table to talk, Josh showered and went back to his bedroom. Settling into his bed, he drifted off to sleep. Waking up a few hours later feeling exhausted, Josh felt eyes on him and sat up. Sitting at the desk watching him was Derek. "Hiya, Josh. I heard about the excitement. How are you feeling?" Derek asked. "Worn out, exhausted and wanting to kill that bastard," he muttered. "Josh, it wasn't his fault his brakes failed, okay? Three mechanics checked that out. It won't bring Scott back by going after him. He has his own guilt to live with. Let it be. What would Scott tell you right now?" Derek asked me with a serious expression. Josh replied, "Forgive the guy, it isn't his fault." Derek looked at Josh until he lowered his eyes. "Alright, I get the point. Lay off me." Derek got out of the chair and hugged Josh. "Hey, I'm here, buddy. Want me to stay for a while with you?" "Would you?" Josh asked, looking at him with imploring eyes. "Yes," Derek grinned. "I don't mind, really. It's the least I can do for a friend." Josh moved over in the bed and Derek shucked his shoes and settled next to Josh, holding him in a light embrace. Josh relaxed and quickly fell asleep with Derek's arms wrapped around him. Derek chuckled and drifted off into sleep. The day of the funeral dawned with an overcast sky and the ringing of Derek's cell phone woke Josh up. Josh listened and slowly came to full consciousness as Derek answered, "Hello? Hi. Yeah, he's awake now. Come on over. Oh, can you stop by my place and get my dress uniform? That way I don't have to go home and get it." After a short pause, "Thanks, see you in a bit, bye." Derek closed his phone and sensed Josh's wakefulness, "That was Alex. I'm coming along with you today as a friend, not an officer, but I figured I'd wear my dress uniform out of respect for Scott and you." "Thanks for everything, Derek. I appreciate you being here for me and holding me," Josh answered. "Hey, it's the least I can do for you. I know you would do the same thing for me," Derek smiled. "Yeah, I would," Josh replied and hugged Derek tight. "I guess I'd better get in the shower, this is going to be a rough day." "You sound really shaky, Josh. I'll be there every step of the way," Derek said in a concerned tone. Not answering, Josh got up and changed to his bathrobe. Padding into the bathroom, he fought back tears, already starting to choke up. Quickly showering and shaving, he fought not to break down. Shrugging back into his bathrobe, he made his way back into his bedroom and found Alex, who was in his officer's full dress uniform, chatting softly with Derek. "Morning, Alex," Josh greeted. "Hey there, buddy," Alex replied and gave Josh a hug. "Doing okay?" Josh shrugged and got out his black suit. Derek headed off to the bathroom to clean up and changed. Coming up behind Josh, Alex wrapped him into a bear hug, "Hey, I know it's not going to be easy. I'm here and so is Derek. We'll help you through today and beyond." Josh put the suit down on the bed, held on to Alex's arms, broke into tears and began sobbing hard. Turning Josh around and hugging him tight, Alex tried to be of what comfort he could be. After Josh's sobbing had quieted, Alex wiped the tears away and helped Josh into his suit and even polished his shoes. After Derek came back into the room clad in his uniform, Alex got a washcloth and comb, washed Josh's face and helped him with his hair. "You okay there?" Alex asked gently. Nodding in affirmation, Josh sat on the bed, his mind a maelstrom of thoughts and emotions. `How am I going to get through this?' he cried to himself. `I don't want to do this.' Helen came to the doorway, "Breakfast is ready, guys." "I'm not hungry," Josh answered. Derek glared at Josh, "Bubba, you are eating if I have to force feed you. You need your strength today out of all days. You're going to eat, like it or not." Josh raised his hands in surrender and all of them trooped out to the kitchen. Alex disappeared outside as Derek, Josh, Todd and Helen slowly ate their breakfast in silence. A few moments later, someone knocked on the door and Brad and Janice with Reynaldo, Alex and a man Joshua didn't recognize came in. "The limo is here, time go," mentioned Alex. Derek nudged Josh, "Josh, this is my police partner, Chris." "Hi Chris," Josh murmured. Chris gripped Josh's shoulder, "Hi. I'm sorry, Josh. We're here for you." "Thanks," Josh answered distractedly. The four parents, Derek and Josh got into the back of the black limo while Alex and Reynaldo entered the drivers compartment. Chris got into his cruiser and led the limo to the cemetery. Arriving at the plot where Scott would be interred for eternity, Josh gripped Derek's hand tight for comfort. Gripping back, Derek gave Josh a sad look and led the way out of the limo upon arrival. A small crowd filled the area and made way for the family as they proceeded to the gravesite. A dark canopy overshadowing the burgundy-colored casket dominated the scene. Flowers adorned both sides and the top of the casket with a large picture of Scott placed at the head of the casket. Set before the casket were five chairs for family seating. Josh took the center seat with his parents to the left and Scott's to the right. Dr. Robertson, a minister from the local community church that both of the families attended, met the family after they sat and shook hands, expressing his condolences once again. Afterwards, he took his place near the head of the casket and after touching the picture, turned and faced the family and crowd. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to remember Scott Bumars and celebrate his life. I wish to express our condolences to his family and friends, especially his husband, Joshua Van Riper and Scott and Joshua's parents. We grieve with you and our hearts are with you in this time of loss." Dr. Robertson took a deep breath and continued, "Let us pray. Dear God, I pray that you will touch and comfort the hearts of those who are gathered here to remember the life of Scott. Comfort and heal them, Dear God and assuage their grief and pain at this unexpected parting. Amen." "Scott Jonathan Bumars, July 12, 1984, passed away December 4, 2002, the husband of Joshua Van Riper, the only child of Todd and Janice Bumars, employee of Jackson Architectural Company. He was a dedicated partner, son, friend and employee whose face and bright smile and ready laugh brightened the lives of all who met him. After conversations with family and friends and remembering from my personal talks with him, Scott came across as a loving, sensitive, giving and caring young man who was in love and always willing to help someone, no matter whom they may have been. The world has lost a portion of its bright future and a young man who was dedicated to fellow man and woman. All of us will miss him sorely." "John 11:25-26 says `Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?'" "Scott exemplified this verse by his total resolve to helping others and by extension, showing himself a believer in the teachings of Christ. Scott lives on in each of us because of his influence in our lives. Family and friends, acquaintances all, remember that Scott loved each of you dearly -- and keep his love alive by sharing yours with others. Let us pray:" "Dear Lord, we commend to you the soul and body of Scott Jonathan Bumars, knowing how much you truly loved him. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, we commit the body of Scott Jonathan Bumars to the earth from whence it came. Amen." "Amen," the crowd replied. Dr. Robertson stated, "The family invites everyone to Miller Road Community Church on West Miller Road for a memorial dinner. If you need instructions, please ask the funeral director or his assistants for directions. Maps are readily available. The family would also like to request some privacy for a time while they are here. Thank you." The crowd broke up and drew back to give the family the requested privacy. In the back, two men who appeared in their early middle ages and a young man with an interpreter stood together watching the scene. All of them were dressed in dark suits of an expensive cut. The chunky-built young man wandered off with his interpreter, discussing sports with him and heading for the car they had rode in. The younger of the two men brushed his blonde hair back into place trying to repair the damage the wind had caused while the other man, his posture one of military bearing, adjusted his glasses. "You know, I really wish we didn't have to do this to Joshua. There had to be a better way than this," The older stated. "We've been over that repeatedly, love. The first plan failed and we had to resort to this. I don't like this either, but what choice do we have. This is the only way if we are to fulfill the obligations we have and help Joey at the same time. I just hope this doesn't come back and bite us in the ass, Andrew." "Tim, I think we'd best leave before someone notices who we are and comments to the family," Andrew softly murmured, feeling exposed. Tim nodded in agreement and they walked back to join Joey and the interpreter in the car and quietly left. Back at the canopy, the minister left leaving the five alone. Todd, Helen and Josh moved back to give Brad and Janice a final moment alone with their only child. After a few minutes of crying and saying their goodbyes, they left the canopy and were quickly surrounded by their families and then Todd and Helen took their turn. All too soon, it was Josh's turn. Josh slowly walked to the casket and looked into Scott's picture on top of the casket. Weeping in pain, Josh told Scott, "I will never forget you my love. I already miss you more than you know. You meant the world to me -- and without a choice, you left. I love you and forever will, my beautiful husband. I don't know..." Josh's voice broke and he started to gasp for breath, "I don't know how I will survive without you by my side. Dreams of you haunt me already -- but I know you would want me to go on without you. I know you still love me and we will be reunited someday in heaven. Rest in peace, my most precious love. I love you, now and forever." Touching the face of the picture, Josh broke down completely, crying his heart out. He felt hands on his back and turned, seeing both sets of parents with Alex, Derek and Reynaldo right behind them. Leaping into their waiting arms and crying so hard he couldn't see, he let out a soul-rending scream, "Why did he leave?" and felt all of them hug him tight. Turning back one last time, Josh drew a ragged breath. Suddenly, Josh bolted, tearing loose from everyone, needing to be alone. Running as hard and fast as he could, he tore into the forest surrounding the cemetery, ignoring the branches that tore at his body and face. Running until he couldn't run any further, he found himself in the light snow-blanketed grassy clearing that the two of them had often visited and made love in so many times after that day 3 years earlier when they'd made the decision about the prom. Sinking to his knees breathing hard, darkness fell over Josh as he collapsed shuddering into the snow cover. Josh awoke to someone shaking him gently and looked into the concerned face of Derek, "You all right? You're scratched up pretty badly." Josh nodded and Derek called in on his radio, "Dispatch, 12, subject found, clearing off Pine Woods Trail, 3 miles on the right side." "12, dispatch, acknowledged. Do you need an ambulance?" "Dispatch, 12, negative. He has minor scratches and torn clothing. I'll take him home. His mom is a nurse, she can tend to him," Derek answered. "12, dispatch, roger." "Come on buddy," Derek muttered as he lifted Josh up as if he was a lightweight kid and carried him to his car. Hanging on to him, Josh buried his face in Derek's neck until they reached the police cruiser. Once in the car, Derek buckled Josh up. Using his cell phone, Derek called Todd. "Todd, this is Derek. I found him with minor scratches and torn clothes. Helen will need to tend to his face. Yeah, I'll be there in about 15 minutes or so. Okay, bye." Hanging up, Derek called another number, "Chris, Derek. Found him, taking him to his parents. Please go to Doc Pravad's house and see if he'll come over to the Van Ripers' as a favor to me. He owes me one, I'm calling it in." He paused to listen and replied, "Yeah, 15 minutes, thanks, bye." Derek hung up and rubbed Josh's shoulder, "It's okay, buddy. You're safe, I'm here with you, ok?" Ignoring him, Josh stared out the window as they drove back to the house. Arriving 15 minutes later, they observed a police cruiser and a pickup truck that they recognized as Alex's. When the cruiser pulled into the driveway, people started pouring out of the house with Josh's parents in the lead. Todd got the door open and Alex reached in, unbuckled Josh and helped him out. With Alex and Derek's help, Josh made his way to the bedroom, allowing them to help him strip off his sodden and torn suit. Handing him a change of clothing, they turned around and let Josh replace his undergarments and sit on the bed. Derek covered him up with a blanket and Alex went to get the doctor and Helen. Shortly afterwards, Doctor Pravad and Helen came in and they proceeded to give Josh a complete once over. The doc indicated some cuts, bruises, scrapes and Helen went to work cleaning them. Grimacing at a nasty cut on Josh's neck, Dr. Pravad cleaned it thoroughly and held the edges together as Helen placed surgical strips on the wound to hold it together for healing. "It's a wonder you didn't get hypothermia out there with you being as wet as you were. Be thankful it wasn't very cold or windy," Dr. Pravad told Josh. Once Dr. Pravad was satisfied with his examination, he gave Helen a bottle and prescription paper, "The bottle has Valium tablets. He gets one every 8 hours as needed. There's also a script for an antidepressant, once a day in the AM. Call if anything pops up or ask me at the office." He turned to Josh, "Josh, I'm so sorry. If there's anything I can do to help, please ask -- and I mean it." He gave Josh a hug and picked up his bag. "Derek, we aren't even - I would have done this anyhow. Helen, please let me know how he is, okay? Helen answered, "Ok, boss I will. See you in a few days." The doctor muttered, "Oh no, you won't. I'll see you two Mondays from now and not before. Take the time to grieve and help Josh through this, okay? If you need more time, tell me." "Okay, I will", Helen murmured and followed the doctor out, leaving Josh and Derek alone. Derek asked Josh, "Do you want to be alone right now, held, or what?" Josh didn't answer and Helen came back with some water. After drinking the water down, Josh slid into bed and curled up, falling asleep quickly from exhaustion and the shock his body had received. Waking up the next morning, Josh tried to resume his activities with his family constantly around him. After a week of quietly being with both sets of parents, he decided one morning to go back to his apartment and try to get things back to some semblance of normality. "I'm going back to my place," Josh told everyone over breakfast. "I need to start getting my life back together." Helen worriedly asked, "You want someone with you?" "Mom, I'm okay. I'll be fine, I need to start getting back into things or so everyone's been telling me for the past week. I want to be alone for a change," Josh calmly answered. "Okay, but you know we'll be over there in an instant if you need us," Brad stated. "I know. Thanks," Josh replied. Getting up from the table, he went to his bedroom and packed his clothes, faltering when he came across some old shirts of Scott's. Holding back some tears, he got into his car and arrived at his apartment. Collecting the accumulated pile of mail and moving his suitcase in, he sat down and turned on the computer. Checking his email, his jaw dropped at the hundreds of them pouring in. Accessing one, he noted it said `Sorry for your loss' and the rest were variants on that. After clearing out his mailbox, he hesitantly accessed Scott's -- and felt floored. There were literally thousands of them. Scott apparently had been rather popular and all of the emails were addressed to Josh -- and all of them were sympathy letters. Josh read every one of them, tears falling as he did so, and the healing process began. Sitting at the computer reading, he felt as if Scott's arms were around him and holding him. For the first time in over a week, he felt secure and smiled at Scott's picture on the desktop. Touching the picture's face, he turned off the computer and went to their bedroom and slipped into bed after undressing, quickly falling asleep after holding Scott's pillow to his chest.