Date: Sun, 02 Feb 2003 00:34:48 +0000 From: Teeto Fox Subject: Joshua part 1 Disclaimer: Please read only if of or over age of consent for your area. By submitting this disclaimer I remove myself from any responsibility. Thank you. Characters of Josh and Nic copyrighted, but if you email me before using them (if you aspire to use them) then I'll gladly grant permission. ~~~~~~~~~ Joshua. by John Avon. Joshua sat, fidgeting impatiently and waiting for the bus. He got up and paced a little bit to stretch his legs and eventually ended up leaning on the lamppost. He tutted and looked over to Nicolas, asking the time. Nicolas looked at his watch absently and said: "Half-past four. Five minutes Josh, can't you just wait a little while man?" "Bah. I hate waiting." Joshua snorted, kicking the lamppost to emphasise this. He succeeded in hurting his foot. "Shit." Nicolas laughed hard at his friend's antics. "That'll learn you to go round kicking things." "I'll kick you if you're not careful you wanker." Nicolas dismissed the insult. Joshua had terminal potty-mouth. "Look, here comes the bus now. See that wasn't long." Joshua sighed. "Finally! Come on shit for brains." As they boarded the bus Joshua smiled, remembering how he met Nicolas. He had been standing having a joke with his friends, and he had looked around absently and spotted Nicolas sitting by the tree, listening to a personal radio. He was alone, and that was strange because in this school everyone had a friend they always hung out with at breaks. He muttered something to his friends about seeing them later and walked over to him. For some reason he was enraptured by everything the boy did. He couldn't help but stare. The boy had looked up when he saw Joshua approaching, but his face kept the same expression, not betraying anything to Joshua. Joshua lazily dumped himself on the patch of grass next to the boy and said: "Yo." - immediately regretting his ridiculous attempt at sounding laid-back. The boy took off his headphones and raised an inquisitive eyebrow "Hey." he returned. Joshua smiled, noticing the strong south-American accent. That little hint of recognition had made him feel nice for some reason, which he just couldn't explain. "My name's Joshua, but call me Josh." "Nicolas, Nic." "Nic." He made a special note to himself to remember the name. "Why the hell are you here all on your own Nic?" Nicolas smiled, chuckling lightly - Joshua's heart melted. "Argh, not many people a whole lot like me around, Josh." "Why?" Josh asked through the warm fuzzy feeling he got from the fact that Nic had used his abbreviated name. That was a sign of friendship, and Josh wanted more than anything to be friends with this captivating boy. Nicolas shrugged. "Well I just moved here from Texas, and my parents are split up." Joshua was genuinely astonished. He looked at Nicolas. The boy was so handsome - with dark brown hair and absolutely dazzlingly vibrant green eyes. He was quite big physically, but it didn't seem to be fat. Joshua imagined pretty large muscles working underneath those clothes. He looked a little older than Joshua. Joshua was 11 at the time; Nicolas looked maybe one or two years older. "And that's a reason not to like you? That's disgusting." Nicolas laughed. "Hey, no biggie. They don't even know me yet, give them time." Joshua grinned in reply. "Well in the meantime, I'll be your first friend if you don't mind." "Yeah, I think I can live with that." Nic returned, smiling. Joshua smiled back and glanced at the watch on Nic's wrist. He couldn't help but think how perfect Nic's hands were (he simply had no clue why he would think something like that) but he looked away and spoke. "Sorry Nic, but I gotta run to my next class. I'll see you around buddy." Nicolas glanced at his watch. "Me too. See you later Josh." Since then Joshua and Nicolas had remained best of friends for a long time, and every day Joshua had fallen more and more in love with Nicolas. Now though Joshua was 14, Nicolas was 15 and Nicolas was as popular as Joshua - and they were both very popular, mainly due to their sense of humour and overall good nature. Now Joshua sat opposite Nicolas, pretending to stare out the window - but really stealing glances at Nicolas. Nicolas glanced at him occasionally, obviously noticing Joshua staring at him once or twice. When he was spotted, Joshua looked away, blushing a little. `God, why not walk over there and fucking kiss him already?' he asked himself, groaning at his being caught blatantly staring, and then looking away and, of all things, blushing! Nicolas looked at Joshua again, a little puzzled. "You okay over there Josh?" Joshua tried to sound casual. "Hm? Oh, yeah fine thanks." Nicolas stared at Joshua for a little while, obviously not quite believing him but he let it go. Joshua sighed and reached up to brush his light blonde hair out of his blue eyes. He was pleasantly average height for his age, and was of a very attractive countenance. He didn't know this though and often wondered why girls kept staring or glancing at him in lessons. The same applied for Nicolas, whose handsome looks had matured with his age, and had far from deteriorated. Joshua was athletically built, but not as well muscled as Nicolas was. Once, a few moths ago, Nicolas had tried out for the swimming team (the one that Joshua swam in) for the first time. This meant that they changed in the same room, and Joshua had managed to get into a position where he could watch Nicolas undress but could speedily look as if he was minding his own business if Nicolas, or anyone else for that matter, saw him. He had watched Nicolas unzip his bag and pull his trunks out, sitting down to untangle the string. As he stood up, he began to talk to someone and reach underneath the hem of his T-shirt. He smiled at a joke, and it seemed every time that Nicolas smiled, Joshua's heart melted. Nicolas had then pulled his T-shirt up over his head and Joshua remembered staring in shocked silence for a moment. Nicolas's muscles bulged! After he had removed his shirt, both Joshua and Nicolas had heard someone shout: "Fucking hell!" and they had both looked to see Simon staring in disbelief at Nicolas's body. He gestured to two of his friends and walked over to Nicolas. "Jesus man, what the hell do you do?" Simon exclaimed incredulously. Simon was part of a circle of friends who liked to try to build their muscles as big as they can, and compare - sadly enough. "Er, eat healthy?" Nicolas said cautiously, making Joshua giggle. "Christ man. You are jacked! Flex for us, man." Nicolas heaved a sigh as he grudgingly flexed his right bicep for Simon and his "Pecs Posse". Simon felt it in astonishment and beckoned to Joshua. "Dude, you have got to come and feel this." A little embarrassed, but not about to pass up the opportunity to touch Nicolas, Joshua walked over and tentatively began to feel Nicolas's bicep. He squeezed gently at first - and then squeezed hard as he realised, eyes widening, that it was absolutely rock hard. "Flex everything man." said Simon petulantly. Nicolas rolled his eyes and flexed his torso muscles. Joshua glanced at Simon, as if for reassurance, before running his hands down Nic's solid chest and over his accented taut abs. Joshua shook his head a little as he realised he had better go back to his bag before people noticed him - as he was sporting an aching hard-on. Presently Joshua sat in the bus, suddenly imagining the incredible muscles working underneath Nicolas's unnecessarily tight t-shirt. He quickly crossed his legs as his previously soft member began to stir. To make sure Nicolas didn't notice he tried to think of anything to talk about. "Um, hey, did you get any homework tonight? It is the week-end after all..." Nicolas smiled. "Actually, no. Guess Mr. Johnson forgot to set us any. Did you get any?" Joshua grinned and held out his hand. "Nope! We have the week-end to ourselves Niccy!" he giggled excitedly as Nicolas grinned and gave Joshua a casual five. "And don't forget Kirstie's disco on Saturday." Nicolas smiled. "Oh right! Totally slipped my mind." The bus stopped for Nicolas's house. "Okay then, see you Saturday Josh buddy!" He smiled again, walking to the open bus doors and patting Joshua on the shoulder cheerfully as he walked past. Joshua smiled and waved, staring after Nicolas as he went. It seemed that every time he shut his eyes, the half-naked Nicolas from a few months ago flicks automatically into his mind, like some kind of mental screen saver. He sat back and closed his eyes, thinking of Nicolas. --- Joshua hopped out of the taxi and paid the driver, thanking him before walking into the big hall where the disco was currently taking place. He opened the door and immediately hit a wall of music. He paused to try and catch the song and spot anyone he knew. He managed to locate his best friend (beside Nicolas) Daniel talking to his secret lover, Matthew. As Joshua walked over to them, Matthew moved away, smiling at Daniel and waving at him. Daniel smiled back dreamily and jumped as Joshua brought his hand down hard on Daniel's shoulder. "What're you doing, you knob?" Daniel demanded angrily as the smaller boy chuckled. "Oh, come on. I know that didn't hurt you, you big tree." returned Josh fondly. Daniel's features held their anger for a moment, then eventually split into a wide grin as he replied good-naturedly. "You know me to well to be fooled by me! Where's Nic?" Nic and Daniel had been working out together for a while, having met in the same gym one day. Joshua glanced towards the doors before replying. "I'm not sure. Must have got held up...not like him to be late." Daniel looked around quickly before motioning with his head for Joshua to move into a corner with him. Once they had some privacy, he spoke in a low voice. "Are you still...?" his inquisitive tone trailed off. Joshua feigned puzzlement. "Still what? Besotted with him? Head over heels in love with him? Completely crazy and utterly over-the-top mad about him?" "That's the one." "Yep." "Well, hang on in there. You don't know what's gonna happen, I mean look at me and Matt-Ow!" He yelped as Joshua punched him in the arm. "What was that for?" "Will you stop using you two as an example? You make me so jealous, why can't it happen to me? Why can't I tell Nic how much I love him and that I want nothing more than to be with him night and day? Why? Why?" Joshua became short of breath, his outburst drawing his air from his lungs. He was obviously upset, in fact close to tears. Daniel immediately softened and put his arm about Joshua's shoulders, trying his best to comfort him. "Listen mate, there is absolutely nothing stopping you from telling him. I honestly don't think he'll care. In fact, just tell him you're gay, then work up to telling him your feelings. Trust me on this ok?" Joshua nodded and blinked back his tears. He was in fact planning on telling Nicolas of his sexual orientation tonight. "I just hope he still wants to be my best friend." Daniel broke into affectionate laughter. "Why wouldn't he? Come on mate, you're too miserable. Try to be optimistic. Now myself," he told Joshua conversationally. "I go by three simple rules - first, whatever doesn't kill me can only make me stronger. Second, there's no harm in trying, and three, if it doesn't work...stuff it." He grinned. Joshua laughed. "Alright then bud. You know better than me." Daniel smiled fondly and put his arm around Joshua's lean shoulder, leading him to the bar. "That's right mate. Fancy a coke or something?" Joshua glanced to the doors and spotted Nicolas and a few friends walking in, laughing raucously about something. "No thanks Dan, I'm gonna go and chat to Nic." "Ok then." Dan returned and walked off to find someone to chat to. Nicolas smiled warmly as he saw Joshua. "Hey Josh!" he exclaimed. "Hiya Nic! Hi guys." Joshua replied to Nicolas, nodding at his two friends, before turning back to Nicolas. "Want a drink man?" --- Joshua laughed and joked with a few friends during the disco, bobbing and dancing gently to the music that was blaring through the ostentatious speakers. He glanced at his watch - half-past 10. The disco ended at 12 midnight, so he had better find a room somewhere and talk to Nicolas alone now. He made his way carefully through the crowd, finding Nicolas standing and talking with Matthew and Daniel. That boy smiled as he spotted Joshua walking towards him. "Hey Josh!" "Hey Nic! - listen guys, do you mind if I just borrow Nic for a minute? I need to talk to him." Joshua told Matthew and Daniel, giving them an apologetic look. Daniel and Matthew shared a glance and both nodded. "Thanks." Joshua took Nicolas by the arm and led him to a little room that looked like a dressing room which was unoccupied. Nicolas closed the door, before turning to Joshua with a worried expression on his face. "What's up Josh, buddy?" Joshua silently beckoned for him to sit at the table. Grabbing a chair from a row of similar chairs that aligned the wall, he unfolded it and sat whilst Nicolas sat in the other, worried and more than slightly puzzled. Joshua took a deep breath to calm his raging nerves before continuing. "Nic, we're friends right? I mean we're best buddies, totally inseparable?" Nicolas smiled reassuringly. "Yes, of course we are Josh. We have been for a long time." Joshua took another deep breath - his nerves felt like a raging bull within an endless red tunnel. His mind felt the same - an endless tunnel of twisting turning emotions that were tangled like some insane net. "So," he continued "we know each other's secrets and stuff...there's absolutely nothing that would make you want to not be my friend anymore right?" Nicolas nodded. "Right. Now, what's wrong?" asked he attentively. "Nic...I'm telling you something that nobody in the whole world knows about - it's my deepest secret." He looked at Nicolas for reassurance, and found it in Nicolas's warm eyes. "Nic...I'm...I'm gay." Nicolas stared. Did he take it wrong? Does he hate Josh? Is he wishing he never knew Josh? Finally, he spoke. "Oh. Uh. Yes. Well. Um. Yeah..." "This is really difficult for me so please just bear with me here..." Josh took another breath before continuing. "Well, when I first met you...I kinda...fancied you..." He looked up at that point to see if Nicolas was disgusted. "And...over these past few years...that...that "fancy"...has sorta...grown...a lot." Nicolas nodded dumbly. "Go on...?" "Nic...I...well, I..." He looked in to Nicolas's eyes to seek reassurance. He had never felt so sure of himself. "Nic, I think that...I love you." Nicolas looked momentarily stunned. "Ah...right." He paused, staring at Joshua with...what could only be described as a loathing. "Well, frankly I don't think we can be friends anymore." Josh froze. "What?" Nicolas shot a look of pure disgust at Joshua. "Get away from me." The world sank for Joshua. He felt his life slip away, he had no reason to live, no reason to want to live.... "Josh?" came a faraway voice, tugging at the edge of his consciousness. Josh returned from his momentary daydream, shaking his head slightly. 'No,' he thought, 'I can't tell him. I just can't.' "Are you okay buddy?" Josh smiled weakly. "Yeah...sorry, what did you say?" His voice quavered slightly - he felt weak. He couldn't imagine a life without Nicolas. "I said, please tell me what else there is?" Joshua began to form the words. "I-" he cut himself off as he looked into Nicolas's face. He couldn't help but imagine that look of utter contempt that his imagination had conjured so vividly. "I...uh, am thinking of leaving the swim team." His voice once again faltered, the sorry invention being the first thing that had entered his panicking brain. Nicolas looked surprised, but not at what Joshua had just told him, for he was expecting a much bigger weight to be lifted from the little guy's chest. "Oh! Why bud?" Joshua sought for a reason with the alacrity that fear brings. "Um, 'cos, 'cos..'cos I don't like the coach!" Nicolas carried a suspicious expression. "Oh? I thought you liked him. You're always helping him with the equipment and stuff." "Oh, him? No. Coach? No! Hate his fuckin' guts." Joshua lied, his heart sinking as he did so: he did in fact like the coach very much. Nicolas's expression now changed, becoming one of attentive care. "You're not being bullied, or blackmailed or anything are you?" Once more, his expression changed, becoming one of unbridled fury. "Because if you are I swear I'll -" Joshua shook his head and smiled. "I'm not! Don't worry Niccy...let's just go back to the party." Before Nicolas could reply, Joshua leapt from his seat and dashed out back into the party, looking at the ground. He glanced up and caught the knowing look on Daniel's face. 'I loathe myself sometimes.' Were his last thoughts as he made his way outside to phone for a cab. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi! This is the first in a series starring these two characters! ^_^ If you have any comments/suggestions or anything you want to say to me at all, please direct them to: teetofoxt2@hotmail.com. Thank you! ^_^ *giggles* John Avon ---aka--- Teeto Fox