Date: Tue, 24 Oct 2000 22:50:39 EDT
From: KillerPizzaMonkey@yahoo.com
Subject: Just Don't Think I'm Not Chapter One

Okay, this will be ther first story that I'll post one Nifty.  Depending on
the feedback, I don't know if I'll post another.

Don't read if you're not legal.  That means you have to be 18 or whoever
old the law where you are says you have to be.

Just Don't Think I'm Not
Chapter 1: First Encounter

	My name is Zach Stoneson; I am 15 and live in a small town in
California called Calistoga.  Well it isn't really a small town, its
boundaries are miles long and tourists come from all over just to see our
geyser.  But this story isn't about a geyser or about tourists; it's about
a boy named Josh.  He and I go to the same school, Pearson High School,
pronounced pear-son not pierce-on.  I have no idea how our high school got
its name, not even the staff knows.  Pearson is just what it's been since
the beginning of its existence.
	He, Josh Dae, was in my English class on the first day of my
freshman year.  Josh was sitting at the desk next to me.  At that time, I
just gave him the name "the cutie sitting next to me" because I had no idea
who he really was.  Mrs. Anderson was taking roll when he said hi to me.  I
said hello and then asked him where he came from and if he was new to
Calistoga- knowing full well that he would have to be, Calistoga has no
other high schools and everyone in Pearson was in the same elementary
school with me.  He told me that his name was Josh and that he had moved up
here from the Bay Area.  Foolishly, I asked him if he lived in San
Francisco, the only city I knew off.  Josh replied no, and that he lived in
a city called Alameda, from what he told me, it was a very well off city.
	"So, have you been in Calistoga for all of your life?"  Josh smiled
at me warmly.
	"Yeah," I was close to giggling, "As stupid as it sounds, I have."
	"Cool. Then I guess, maybe, you might be able to show me around."
He said, as if it were a question.
	"Umm, sure, that'd be fine with me, there's nothing I have to do
anyway."
	"I'm free all today, my parents are going back to Alameda to get
the rest of what was in our house.  They should be back on Wednesday."
	Goody, I thought to myself, maybe I can find out a little more
about him.
	"What time do you have free?"
	"Ummm . . . Right after school is fine, my parents don't care what
I do as long as I check in with them.  They expect me to have some sort of
check in schedule.  Call every half hour or something, which I rarely do."
	"Heh . . . well then, how about right after school?"
	"Sure."  I gave him one of the best smiles I had saved up.
	"Yeah, it's a date then."  He wrote down his phone number and
address before the bell rang.

	As it turned out, Josh and I had almost identical schedules- save
for science, he was placed in Ms. Bunger's class, while I was in
Mr. Humphrey's class.  After school, we met up at my locker.
	"So, what do are we gonna do tonight?"  I asked Josh.
	"I don't know, probably rent some videos and play a few games."  He
replied.
	"Hmmm . . . what kinda videos?"
	"I don't know, I was thinking of a few that were pretty good."  He
scratched his nose, an expression on his face popped up- I couldn't tell
what it was saying.  "Ummm . . . Flawless, Scream 3 and Romeo Must Die if
you don't mind."
	This is where my realization came in, "You're gay?"
	"Yeah" He sighed, "A fag".
	Someone like me, finally.  "How did you find out?"
	"I just found out a few years ago, when I started thinking of guys
that way and I couldn't get them out of my head."
	We were talking about this out in the open.  After school, where
tons of people were passing us, just trying to get home.  And, the best
part, no one even cared what we were talking about; there was no one who
was listening in.
	"I knew, dude, I saw you staring at Andrew
	"Oh yeah, he's cute."  Josh's eyes changed for a second.  I
couldn't recognize it, but I knew it wasn't happy anymore.
	"Yeah, and he's bi too."  I told Josh.
	"Really?  Do you think I'd hold any chance with him?"
	"Probably, you're really cute." No!  I want you! "But maybe not his
type."
	"Tell me more about Andrew."  His interests were peaked.
	"Okay, hmmm . . . he's from Nevada.  He's same year as us, 15.
He's not a jock, but we both know that he could be."  Josh smiled in
agreement, "But why do you want to go for him?"
	"Is there someone else to go for?"  This is a lot more interesting
than Andrew ever could be.  I mean, com'on, Andrew carrying on an
intelligent conversation.  Sure, the guy was cute, but he's a fucking wall
when it comes to conversations.
	"Maybe, but you probably won't like him anyway."  My reluctance to
tell him was obviously confusing him.  Why would someone mention an
alternative and not explain?
	"Jesus, Max?  Dude, have you seen his hands, all chapped and . . ."
He made a sour face, like he just bit into a lemon.
	"Never mind" I was frustrated, "Let's take off.  You got a car?"
	"Nope, I took the bus."  I stuffed the things I need in my bag and
walked to the parking lot towards my car.  No more talking about how you
like the other guy anymore, Josh.
	Josh jumped around my car in excitement when he saw my car.  "This
is yours?"
	My keys were at the bottom of my backpack, I pressed the button to
unlock the doors.  "Yeah, it is.  The door's unlocked."  I turned on the
car and "Promise" by EVE 6 blared through the speakers.  Quickly, I turned
the knob down to a more believable volume.
	"Dude, turn it back up, I love this song!"  He requested.
	"Alright."  I pumped it up to where it was.

	All the way his house, he commented on the music I was playing.
Josh loved all of the songs.  People always compliment me on how I put
together my CD's.  Josh turned down the volume to direct me to his house.
It turned out, that his parents bought a house on "Spooky Lane", what I
like to call it.  "Spooky Lane" is a stretch of Highway that runs through
Calistoga that has old willows with branches like arms, hanging over the
road.  The road could easily be closed down and covered with leave to make
a great set for a horror movie.  His house was an old Victorian, very well
kept up.  We parked and he let us in.  His house was amazing; it totally
blew mine out of the dirt.  There were mini-spots on the paintings that
lined each room.  The whole thing was James Cameron meets Monet; the house
reeked of interior decorator.
	"Cool house."  I complimented him.
	"Thanks," he returned, "My parents made a lot of money in the Bay
Area. My mother is an interior decorator and my father is an attorney."
	"Why did you guys come up here?"
	"Everyone found out what I was and they all flipped on me.  Our
house was burnt down; my boyfriend was being assaulted because of me.  And
this was the only place we could run to."  "Jesus Josh, I'm sorry.  That
kind of stuff pisses me off: when people just can't accept others for who
they are."  Was all I could say.
	"So I came here hoping that someone would be like me.  I'm glad
that there are.  Even if it's just one, there's someone like me."
	"If it makes you feel any better, I am too."  I told him.
	Josh looked up at me, "You are?  Naw, you can't be. . . Are you?"
	I nodded.
	"Really?  But you're so . . . straight!  Yeah, that's what a lot of
my friends said when I told them."
	"You're out?"
	"No, I just told a few of my closest friends."
	"Oh, I want to come out."
	"Well, you'll have my support, of course."
	"Have you had a boyfriend yet?"
	"No."
	"Do you want one?"
	"Depends . . ."
	"On what?"
	"Is he as cute as you are."
	Josh froze, "You think I'm cute?"
	"Why would I say it if I didn't mean it?"
	"I don't know."  He paused for a second, trying to come up with
something else to say?  "Do you want to be boyfriends?"
	"Um, sure!"  We both started giggling.  He was going to be my first
boyfriend.  And this is going to be my first gay kiss, I thought as Josh
leaned in.  I jumped back when his lips met mine, this was amazing, here I
am with a boy I had only known for a few hours and now, I was in his house,
kissing him.  Well, I am going to kiss him.  And what happened to waiting
to get to know someone before you fall?  Where did that fly off to?
	"I-I am soo sorry.  I just .. .thought that you wanted me to-" He
gasped.
	"No, it's not that, I just remembered I have a rule that I just
broke with you."
	"A rule?!"
	"Yeah, don't you have rules?"
	"Yeah, but about kissing?"
	"Before I kiss a guy, he has to ask my permission."
	Josh chuckled and blushed, twisting the toe of his shoe on the
ground.  He looked like a little girl that was being complimented on her
tutu.  Oh my god, he was even cuter than he was five minutes ago.  I
couldn't resist just giving him a little nibble on the nose.
	"Permission to kiss you, Mr. Stonesone?"
	"Permission granted, Mr. Dae."
	We kissed this time without second thoughts.  It was wonderful.  To
some people, a kiss is a kiss.  But there was something different about
this kiss, there was more feeling, it was more sincere, it wasn't just
lust.  I'm not sure, but I liked it; I liked this kiss a lot.  But then I
felt something different in this kiss, something slimy coming in.  I was
just about to push him away and spit out what had come into my mouth when I
realized that it was just his tongue.  Not that kissing a hot guy doesn't
do it for me, but now a hot guy was french kissing me and that made me even
hotter.  I pushed him down on the red couch next to the wall-to-wall window
and kissed him back, harder, feeling stronger and more charged now.  He let
my tongue in now and I explored inside, feeling his tongue, tasting
something that really had no taste and loving it.  I sat on top of him and
straddled his hips, nibbling on his neck now.  He was hard; I could feel
his penis pulsing under me, while mine was trying to get out of my cramped
clothes.  Underneath me, Josh held my abs and started to slowly grind his
pelvis into mine.  His eyes held a slightly glazed quality and the way his
lips were parted mad him even more irresistible.  I moved up and nibbled on
his ear, whispering dirty promises in his ear.  We were moving harder and
faster, his sweat had made his hair wet and he had a kung-fu death grip on
my abs.
	My mind told me I wanted something more and I reached down between
us for Josh's pants.  I undid the button and unzipped his pants; he was
wearing gray Tommy Hilfiger boxer briefs, with a long bulge towards the
elastic waistband, ending with a large wet spot.  I unbuttoned his
boxer-briefs and took out his penis, Josh gasped when I pulled it out, I
looked up to him to see if he was still okay, he looked back to me and
mouthed "Please".  It was larger than mine, probably 61/2" long and thick.
Slowly, I started to rub around the head, underneath it, I wanted him to
feel good.  I pulled on it, up and down slowly and he started pumping into
my hands.  I could tell he wanted me to go faster because, soon, he started
pumping harder than before, so I sped up.  Josh started to cum when I heard
him gasp, five spurts shot out across his chest.  Watching him nut sent me
over the edge, and I came too.  I got off Josh, and sat on the opposite
side of the couch, watching him come down.
	But what Josh did was very unexpected, he sat up and got off the
couch, to sit in an armchair facing me, "What the hell did I just do?"
	"Say what?"
	"What the hell just happened?  What did I do?  What did you do?!  I
can't believe it!"
	I got up from where I was sitting, sat on the arm of his chair, and
touched his hand.  "What do you mean?"
	"You know what I mean!"  Josh looked at my hand, then up to me with
a disgusted look.  "Get the fuck out of here, Zach!  I'm not a queer!"  He
pushed me off my seat.
	"Man, what the hell are you doing?"  My heart beat violently, a
knot formed in my gut, I felt sick, everything is going bad.  Why the fuck
is this happening?  He was nice, like, five seconds ago, I thought.
	"Get the fuck out!  Get the fuck out of my house!"
	Josh kicked me backwards with the heel of his foot while I was
trying to get up.  His eyes turned the color of the couch we had been on
seconds earlier, crimson, blood-like.  He was going to kick me one more
time when I grabbed my bag and shot up for the door, leaving him behind.
It hurts when a guy you thought was into you kicks you out of his house
after sex, but it hurts more when he kicks you in the ribs when you haven't
even been given the chance to leave.  I heard something breaking before I
stepped into my car.  Let him fuck himself up, I don't care.  I thought,
what an asshole, before turning over the engine and driving home.
	"Hi sweetie," My mother greeted me when I came in the door,
"there's dinner on the stove."
	"Thanks mom," I smiled, "But I had a rough day.  . . . Think I'll
just turn in early."
	The door to my room was closed before I could hear what she had to
say.  She would probably say something like, "Are you sure?" or "Just eat a
little dinner".  She's been more overbearing since my grandmother went into
that nursing home on Lincoln Ave. and Versailles Blvd.  That's okay; at
least I know she cares.  Sometimes mom can go very overboard with her
fussing, but I love her too.  I pulled off a pillow on my bed and fell in,
cuddling it.  My eyes got watery and I couldn't see or think straight.  Why
does this happen to me?  This is the first guy I actually like, and whom I
thought liked me.  And what happens?  We pretty much have sex after the
first kiss and he kicks me out of his fucking house!  I punched the wall as
hard as I could, which wasn't very hard because I was crying harder.  The
wall hurt me more than I hurt it.  So, I cried some more, my hand hurt and
my heart was on fire, I could taste the smoke.  My stereo, that had been on
since I had left for school, played some sad love song.  For some reason, I
picked up the phone and dialed Mel's number.  Since I can remember, Mel has
always been there to back me up.  She was the first one that I told my
secret to, and she took it beautifully.  We always hang out together and
talk about guys or listen to records.
	"Hello?"  Mel answered the phone.
	"Hey Mel."  I sniffled into the phone.
	"Zachy!  What's wrong?  I didn't see you today."
	"Yeah, we don't have any classes together."
	"That sucks . . . What's wrong?"
	"I just came home from Josh Dae's house." I let out a small sigh.
It still hurt. "He's gay."
	"And this is why you are crying?"
	"No, I'm crying 'cause we practically fucked on the first kiss and
afterwards he kicked me out of his fucking house saying was wasn't a
queer."
	"You're fucking with me."
	"Not unless you want me to kick you out of my house, kick you in
your fucking ribs and scream at you."
	"That shit's messed up.  So what are you going to do?"
	"I - I don't know what to do!  That's the whole fucking problem!  I
mean I totally like the guy.  And I thought he like me, and we did that
stuff.  After, he screams at me and kicks me out of his house.  What do I
do?  Just go on like nothing ever happened?  Never talk to him again?  Or
wait for him to come around?"
	"I think you should just wait for him.  Maybe you guys did go a
little quick, but, I mean, he's the one that freaked on you."
	"Yeah, I guess."
	"Don't guess, know.  Besides, I'm always right." How very humble of
her to admit, I thought.
	"Alright Mel, I have to go.  This day is just way too much for me.
I'm just gonna crash.  Goodnight Mel.
	"Night sweetie."
	The phone clicked, and I turned the phone off.  But I never really
thought to put the phone down, because other thoughts had come in.  What
the hell am I going to do about Josh?

--------------------------
Okay, that's it for now.  You can email me KillerPizzaMonkey@yahoo.com
Or you can visit my website http://th380y.net