Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2001 03:43:52 EST
From: KillerPizzaMonkey@yahoo.com
Subject: Just Don't Think I'm Not - Chapter 10

Alright, this is Chapter 10 of Just Don't Think I'm Not.  Sorry it took so
long, school started this week so I needed to do a lot of stuff to get
settled in.  It's all good now.  I will be slowing down with my updates-
Drama demands more of me.

This is a story that will have sex.  If you're under 18, don't read it.
(That's my official position.  Didn't think I would ever need one of
those.)  This is Chapter 10, if you haven't read the preceeding chapters- I
don't know WHAT you'r edoing here.

_____
J.D. Tin
Chapter Ten: The Twilight Zone Is In Calistoga

This is just a temporary thing, I thought as the tape cut to the FBI
warning.  If Josh just happens to want to come back, I'll leave Jack.  He
won't be that hurt.  He should know that I would do this anyway.  Not like
he'll try to put up a fight or anything.

"God, I'm so glad this is happening."  Jack squeezed me around
him.  "I want to stay like this forever."

That stopped everything that was turning in my head, I think my
heart must have stopped too.  How am I supposed to respond to that?
Here I am thinking of dumping the guy when Josh comes back and then
he has to go and say that he is sooo happy with me and that "he wants
to stay like this forever"?

"Let's just enjoy this while it lasts."  I told him.
He accepted what I had to say and totally melted into me.  My body
felt rigid and I'm sure he felt it too.  I was too uncormfortable to do very
much.  One reason:  This is the second guy I've held like this.  Another
reason:  The first guy I tried to hold like this, kicked me out, gave me a
good mind fuck and broke up with me.  What would he do if I went back
to Josh?  God, Jack would be so pissed.  Why do I even want to go back
to Josh?  He'll just use me again.  But he's so fucking hot.  I didn't know
what else to say . . . or think, so I just sat and watched the movie with
him.

Pitch Dark was good.  I liked it a lot.  I told Jack that and he was
happy that I liked it.  Once The Shinning got started, I settled down a
little bit more.  There was less light in the room.  The sun had gone down
past the point where I could see it from my house.   The sky was grey
again, and the few clouds that were out cast shadows on each other.  It
started getting cold down stairs.  When the den was added, the central
heating system never did work correctly and Dad never really did bother
to get anyone to fix it.  He doesn't fix his own house, he just hires
someone else to do it, not even someone from the regular crew he hires . .
. weird.

"I'm going to go get a blanket."  I told Jack.

I ran up to my room and got my big fur blanket.  Well, I don't know
for sure if it is fur.  But it feels like it.  I still have a growing suspicion
that it's a polyester fake.  It's still warm though, and that's what makes
me happy.  I brought it down the stairs in the middle of the scene where
Danny first sees the two girls in the hall.  That is one of the spookiest
parts in the movie.  Jack was curled up into a little ball watching it.  It
was definitley a little cooler in the room.  The den doesn't get very cold
though.  Some of the heat does flow into the room, very slowly though.
  Jack Nichelson was getting a drink from Bartender Loyd.  I
handed the blanket to Jack and crawled in under the tent he had made
for me in front of him.  It was warm inside, very warm and very
comfortable.  The back of my head was resting against Jack's stomach
and his knees were along side my stomach.  His penis was hard, I could
feel it pulse against his Cargo shorts.  I jumped up on my knees quickly
and playfully grabbed it.

He sat up quickly, "Hey!"

Jack jumped over the sofa, that I was running around to get to the
door, and tackled me.  We wrestled around for a bit, getting excited, at
the end, he hit his head on a coffee table.  What a waste of sexual energy.

"Ow," he said and laughed.

I laughed too, "I'm sorry."

There was a long pause while I jumped behind him and parted his
hair in the place that he was holding, looking for blood or something that
would be a bump.  Once my search for a bump or blood was finished I
helped him up and we sat back down on the couch, holding hands. There
was something in that moment, something I can't descibe as electricity or
another epiphany.  Something happened in that moment between us.
That moment, I'm positive, felt like the moment when the Grinch's Heart
grew two sizes larger and the moment before the Titanic hit the iceberg.
That moment held so many promises and truths, but most of all, it held
us - Jack and Zach, two boys with ryhming names, holding each other,
becoming more awkward with each passing moment.  Jack and Zach,
two boys with ryming names that had hardly ever felt this kind of love
towards anyone, two boys with ryming names that would hardly ever let
anyone look at their wound . . . or see each other cry for that matter.
Jack and Zach: two boys with ryming names that had, maybe, just
maybe, grown into each other.

Dude, I thought, he just let me help him.  Actually help him, he never
let's anyone help him.  Not even his mom!  But he let me.  And I jumped to
help him.  I couldn't say anything.  I wanted to look at Jack, but I didn't
want him to see what I was thinking.

"Thanks," Jack said quietly.

I looked at him, he was looking at me.  No, "I could have done that
myself, asshole"? I thoguht.  "Yeah . . ."  I replied, "Yeah, no problem."

I am supposed to do something now.  Or is it him?  Something is
supposed to happen now, I can feel it.  I want to kiss him or hug him, I
just want to feel him closer then he is right now.  The next cushion is not
good enough, I want him on me or under me or so close to me I can feel
his breath.  But nothing came of that moment.  We sat there and looked
at each other.  Then we heard "Red rum!  Red rum!  RED RUM! RED
RUM! . . ."  And we had to look at what was happening.
I was thoroughly creeped out after the movie had finished.

"So,"  Jack said, a little less apprehensive now.  "What do you want
to do now?"

"I don't know.  What are you up for?"

It was 9:13 now.  "I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"Want to play Perferct Dark?"

"Sure."

I turned on the game and threw over a controller to him.  We set
up our options and started the game.  There were two other AI's (Artifical
Intelligence) in the game with us.  I killed the AI's in every game more
than once, but Jack killed me rather than the AI's.  He had killed me
seventeen times in ten minutes.

"God," I said, "Where did Jack-the-queen go?"

"He got tired of squeeling, you guys made fun of me whenever I
did."  He replied, right before he finished me off with a head shot.

"I'm sorry Jack."

"It's cool.  I mean, I did get tried of it though.  Being a queen isn't
all that great anyway.  It was never really my thing.  I just wanted to be
like the other guys.  And then I tried biking.  You haven't seen me ride
have you?"

No, but I want to ride you, I thought.

"You should," He continued, "I am getting better, even though I do
fall off a bit."

"I'd like to see that."

I stood up and held out my hand, "Let's go to my room."

"Alright."

I don't know exactly what I had in mind, I wasn't hot, but I did
want to go a little farther with him there, in the safety of my own space.
We walked up the stairs to my room, him behind me with his hands on
my hips.  Once he closed the door, I turned him around and grabbed his
ass.  His lips curved into a wicked smile.  I kissed him quickly, then let
go of him and jumped on my bed, he followed suit.  He pinned me by the
shoulders and started to kiss my neck.  God, I go crazy when anyone
kisses my neck.  There's something to it for me, it's my sweet spot and I
think Jack knew that.

He let go of my shoulders and brought my hands to his ass.  I slid
my hands under his waist and grabbed each cheek.  There's something
about ass, something about the shape and the way they feel, they're so
addictive.  Jack lowered himself onto me and we started to grind into
each other.  I started to get hot, not just horny, god I am horny so many
times during the day.  But this was so hot that I know I would do
something, a major something, with Jack if the situation presented itself-
not yet.

Jack pushed up my shirt and kissed down my chest, he played
with a nipple.  Nipple play?  I asked myself, What the fuck is this?  And
then I didn't have to worry about going too far with Jack, because I just
got turned off.  I pushed his face away from my nipples.  He must have
taken that as a sign to hurry up rather than stop and he started to undo
my pants.  He was really into it.

"No," I stopped him in mid-zip, "Stop."

And he did, he honered my request.  Josh probably would have
kept on going.  And whatever part of me was still turned on, turned off.

"Sorry," I said to Jack.

Jack sat up against the wall that was opposite to me and wiped his
mouth.  "Yeah, yeah, it's okay."

Jack was probably going to get blue balls now.  I felt responsible
for that at least.  If it was any other situation, I probably would have
given him a hand job.  But it wasn't any other situation, it was this
situation: me not wanting to go all the way and him turning me off.  We
sat there again, in an odd silence, trying to think of what I could say.  I
pulled Jack towards me in an effort to do . . . something.

"Just not yet, Jack"  I told him, "Too much, too soon."

"Yeah, it's cool."  He tried to make me feel better, or was it himself?

Jack went home within the next five minutes.  I sat and watched
some CourtTV show.  When I got bored, I watched some more.  Inisde my
mind was clicking.  I was thinking about thinking.  I knew I was thinking
something, deep down inside, because I had that feeling people get when
they think sometimes.  But I don't remember what it was I thought or
thought I thought.


The day started in a haze, the light seemed a little bit lighter and
the dark seemed a little bit darker.  All of the furniture seemed to be
made out of glass and shined in my eyes.  I took a slow shower to wake
up.  Once I got out and looked into the mirror, I noticed I had a hicky on
my neck just below my left ear.

Hmmm . . . I thought, It's not a very big deal, I'm not going to cover it
up though.  How can I cover that thing up?!  I wonder if Jack has some too.
I finished getting dressed and grabbed some yogurt and orange
juice for breakfast.  Mom was washing her dishes at the sink.

"Your father is coming home today."  Mom told me.

That made me feel good, really good.  He's finally coming home.

"Yeah, I know."

Mom turned to me after she put the dishes on the rack, "What is
that?"

"Ummm . . . a hicky."  I responded.

"Jack?"  Mom was surprised.

"You two didn't . . .?"  She led on.

"Mom!"  I said, "That's personal."

"Did you two use condoms?"  She asked.

I blushed, "We didn't do anything, so just drop it."

"Do you need condoms?"  She asked again.

"I have condoms!"  I snapped at her, "Drop it."

I ate the rest of the yogurt that was in my bowl quickly, chugged
the O.J., said goodbye and left for school.  Josh pulled up right next to
me after I parked, there were two other guys in his car, I didn't take the
time to notice, just to walk away.  Jack was waiting at my locker.

"Hey Zach!"  He said excitedly.

My heart skipped into my throat when he said that.  He was
genuinley glad to see me.

"Hey Jack,"  I looked around to make sure no one was watching
and gave him a kiss.

"What was that for?"

"Being you."

"I love you too."

Jack and I kissed for a little while longer; until we heard somebody
walk towards us and open their locker.  We got startled and back away
from each other, I backed into a locker and made a loud slam.  Jack
chuckled as I did.  We got back to holding each other, my arms down to
his hips and his arms draped around my shoulders.

"Dad's coming home," I slow danced with him.

"When?"  Jack asked.

"Today, sometime around dinner."  I told him.

"Oh."  Jack kissed me again.

"What was that for?"  I asked Jack.

"For being you."  He replied.

The bell rang, we let go of each other, people started walking
around us.

"See you after school."  Jack said over the noise.
___

That was Chapter 10.  I hope you like it.  As I said before, I will be
slowing down my updates for a while.

Send me some email at KillerPizzaMonkey@yahoo.com
Visit my website at http://th380y.net