Chapter 26 Part V
Justin and Tony's Story
Written By: Justin Case
Edited By: Ed
April 30, 2001
Disclaimer: This story is about gay love. It contains sexual content described in a graphic manner. You must be of legal age to view this material. If you find this type of story offensive, perhaps you should read it for educational purposes. Otherwise, feel free to exit now. Just right click your mouse and a "Back" prompt will come up, then left click on that until you have successfully exited. This tale is complete and utter fiction. I created it and I wrote it. Any similarities to real people, places, and things are coincidental. The writer, his editor, and the web site publisher accept no responsibility for the actions of the reader. ~C~2001JCPCo.
SoapBox: Hey my friends, it's me again. Hehe! I want to thank the few that joined me Saturday in my chat room. I had a great time. If you'd care to join us, you will find me in http://talkcity.com 10:00PM EDT on Saturday nights. Log into Talk City, click on chat, and then enter Justin's Corner in the chat room selection prompt in the upper left of your screen. Oh, you have to register first with Talk City to get a password and name. You all know the drill. Yes, so, in the mean time I'd like to thank you all for you wonderful letters and messages. If you'd like to send me a note or instant message I can be found on AOL, Justin69SK@aol.com is the addy. I also subscribe to MSN, and my address there is JustinCase69SK@hotmail.com as well as AIM JustinCase69SK1@aol.com and ICQ where I am listed in the white pages.
I don't know about all you, but I am happy that summer is right around the corner. (Here in the North American Continent) I love the warm weather, barbecues, camping, swimming, and all the other events we can do.
I want to extend my congrats to Steve, and Accord on their new jobs. I'd like to thank my new friend Julio for helping me with my Spanish in `Comedy of Errors'. I'd like to thank Geoff for putting my work to sound, on tapes. I also want to thank Wayne for his help recently. I'd like to thank each and every one of you, for your constant support. With out you all, I would be a man with a bunch of words jumbling around my head. I hope I never let you down! As Always, Just, Justin
I lay on the couch after he left; I had the television on, but wasn't paying attention to it. I was mad. I was mad at myself for having sex with Wendell. My head was cloudy from the pot, but my thoughts were clear. I just can't figure out why I get so carried away with wanting to have sex. I mean sometimes it's like I have no control, it's almost like I am outside looking in. The thing of it is, it wasn't even as good as I had imagined it would be. What Tony and I have was much better. Sex with Wendell was almost a let down. I stared blankly off into space, trying to figure it all out. I heard him when he stomped the snow off his feet at the front door, I knew it was him.
"Hey Justin. No work today?" Tony asked, as he came through the door.
I looked up at his adorable face as he stood in the front hall. His big brown eyes stared at me, while he waited for my answer. I said nothing; I just nodded my head in his direction.
"Sarah home?" He asked, as he set his backpack near the closet and started into the living room.
"Do you mind not leaving your backpack on the floor?" I snarled.
He turned around and picked up his book bag and headed down the hallway. I knew he would put it in our bedroom. I worried a little that the room would still smell like pot. He knew I didn't have any, we tried to get some the day before and came up empty handed. Knowing him, if he smelled it he wouldn't say anything, he was too trusting.
I listened as he trudged down the hall. I felt bad because I had snapped at him, but I was tired of tripping over his stuff. Not only that, but the baby was always getting into his book bag. It had pencils and pens in it, they weren't good for the baby, I reasoned. I heard his footsteps all the way to our bedroom. I knew, I was really mad at myself and taking it out on him. I couldn't seem to help doing that either.
"Hey Justin, you want to go to the mall? I heard they got a sale on in Penney's. I wanted to get some new towels." Tony yelled up the hall, his voice full of tenderness.
I could hear him; he was calling to me from the bathroom. I could hear the waterfall he was creating over his voice, right down to the last short blasts. I pictured him peeing; he is irresistible especially when he's fully exposed. I felt my lips as they broke into a smile. I couldn't help it, I loved him, as best I could. I swung my legs off the sofa, hell enough of this feeling sorry for myself. I had been a shit; there was no denying it. I just had to come clean. I knew he'd forgive me.
"Yeah, that sounds great. I have to get changed. Come on into the bedroom, I need to talk to you." I yelled to him as I headed down the hall. I stood at the top of the hall and had a direct line of vision into the bathroom. I watched my lover as he shook it off and tucked it back into his pants. I felt worse.
"Hey, I got an 86 on my math test today, Buddy." He proudly announced, as he checked himself in the mirror on his way out of the bathroom.
For that brief moment, I wished there was no one else in the planet except him and I. I really did love him; I just didn't seem to know how to behave. I imagined what it would be like, just him, and I. He was so adorable, and kind. He would do anything for me, and look what I do. I didn't deserve him. I watched him as I walked down the hall fix his dark brown hair. He looked at me as I got nearer; his deep-set eyes said everything. I knew he loved me.
As I got to the end of hallway, he came out of the bathroom and followed me to our bedroom. I could feel my stomach as it fluttered with nerves. I could hear my heart beat, in my ears. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. I walked slowly ahead of him and sat on the edge of my bed, near my night stand. My side of the bed was closest to the door. Tony stopped and bent over to give me a quick peck on the lips.
"I'm sorry about my back pack, Buddy. I just get so excited when I see you. Oh, did I tell you, if I get an `A' on my next English test, I'll be excused from the class for the rest of the year." He gushed excitedly, his long lashes batted as his eyes blinked. His lips prized with a smile.
"So, you and Mrs. Humphries are getting along better?" I looked up at him as he stood over me, and asked.
"Yep, ever since you and her talked, she has been really great." Tony reasoned.
"I can tell you one thing, it has nothing to do with me. She grades you on your own merit. I really am proud of you, Buddy." I said, the tears started filling my eyes. I reached my arms around his neck and pulled him close. I didn't want him to see me crying, but I couldn't help it.
I loved it when he called me that. He melted into my arms and kissed me deeply. The tears streamed down my face. I could feel my body shake as I hung on to him for dear life. I loved him so much. How could I have done it? How could I have sex with someone else so casually? I ran my fingers through his hair, as I pulled him closer to me. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly as he pulled his head away.
"What's wrong Justjust?" Tony asked, his voice full of affection.
"I don't know how to tell you. I fucked up. I am so sorry. I don't deserve you Tony, I really don't," my voice quavered.
"Justjust, don't worry. Nothing you could do would make me hate you. We're all human, it's all good," he held my head in his hands, as he lovingly said it. His eyes fixed on mine.
How could he be so charmed by me? I didn't warrant his love. I certainly didn't return it in the same genuine manner in which he gave it. I felt like a total piece of turd. He had been infatuated with me since we were kids, and I cast his feelings aside for a moment of quick thrills. I began sniveling harder; the tears continued to flow out my eyes uncontrollably. I tasted the saltiness of them as they ran down my cheeks and fell in my mouth.
"I fucked Wendell," my whole body began to thrust up and down as I cried.
"What? Here? In our bed? Justin, what the fuck? How could you? I thought we meant more to each other," he pushed himself away from me as he fired his comments. His eyes riveted on me; his face was full of confusion.
I felt myself as I shrunk into the mattress; I lied back and covered my eyes with my right arm. I had never felt so low and worthless. I had no excuses. I had no explanations. I felt so alone. I envisioned myself as a grain of sand, that washed up on a rock and sat by itself, off the ocean and onto the shore. A tiny spec of dust in the immeasurable universe seemed huge to me, as I sat on my bedside crying.
I heard him as he left the room, a whoosh of air rushed past my frail body. I heard his footsteps as he walked up the hall to the front door. Each and every step he took rumbled in my brain. I graphically embodied his picture in my mind as I glimpsed at him as he shouted his questions at me, before he left. The look in his brown eyes was shear pain and hurt. It was a memory that I would hold forever.
My head began to spin, my thoughts rushed, as I lie in my bed crying. I rolled over and pulled my pillow to my face. I tried to bury myself into the mattress and foam cushion I grasped. My stomach began to twist and turn. I began to fall into a deep sleep; I drifted willingly to the comfort of my slumber.
Well, there you have it. I want to thank you for reading. I look forward to your comments. Talk to you all soon.
My thanks go to Ed, for his fine job with editing.