Date: Sun, 2 Apr 2000 13:06:39 EDT
From: Justin69SK@aol.com
Subject: Justin's Story Chapter 8

Justin's Story
Chapter 8
3/29/00

Written By:  Justin Case

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Disclaimer:  This story is a tale of young gay love, and contains graphic
sex.  If it is illegal where you are, stop, look around is anyone watching.
No, then go ahead and read it, but don't tell anyone.  I know I won't.  Now
for you flames that come in here, what the hell are you up to?  Its called
latent homosexuality, deal with it, give someone a blowjob, you'll be a
better man.  You don't have to live in denial any longer.

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Justin's thoughts.  Well, boys, here we are chapter 8.  I want to thank the
many of you for writing me.  I guess you like the story.  I know I did when I
lived it.  Many of you ask my age, and if the story is true.  Let me say
this.  I am a fictional writer.  The story is based on my life, but it is
fiction.  A lot of the things that happen in the story happen in my life.
They don't happen in the exact sequence that I write about necessarily.  Some
of the things I write of are for effect, and never happened in my life.  I
will try to keep you filled in at the end of each chapter what was real, and
what was not.  One reader even asked if I was gay.  Is he reading the story
I'm writing?  I told him "Ya never know, but just in case treat me nice, and
just in case I'm not treat me nice."  I wonder if that cleared it up.  OOOHH
boy, what was he reading?

I write to give others hope.  Hope that there is happiness out there.  Hope
that there is understanding out there.  I ask you all, for your prayers.  One
of my young friends is 15, and having a hard time with his sexuality, he has
tried to kill himself.  Please pray for Richard.  We're going to spend time
together this weekend, all I can do is be his friend.  I will pray, and turn
it over to my God, and ask you to do the same.

Now on with the story:
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I woke up Monday morning in Ryan's bed, he held me in his arms.  I was so at
peace.  It had been a week since JT had been murdered.  Only seven days had
passed, and it seemed like my whole life.  It amazes me when something tragic
happens in your life, how you grow.  Time stands still, and lets you grow.

I felt a twinge of guilt.  It had only been a week, how long are you supposed
to mourn the death of a loved one?  I wondered to myself, and an answer came,
as long as you need.  As long as you need.  I was still feeling bad about
dissing my grams yesterday, and now I'm feeling guilty about sleeping with
Ryan a week after JT's tragic death.  I remembered the shooting star that I
took as a sign, the sign that said go for it.  I imagined it was JT, saying,
"Hey bro" how I loved it when he called me 'bro" "Go for it, you have needs."
I could almost here his voice in my ear.

Ryan pulled me closer, I felt he could sense I was hurting, or uncomfortable.
 Maybe he just wanted me closer.  I looked at him and smiled. He kissed me.
We laid in the bed for a few more minutes, it was only 6:00 am, we had time
before he had to get me to school.  I told him how good he made me feel, and
how happy I was to have him in my life.  He apologized for all the games, and
said "I loved you before I met you" just like the Savage Garden song.  I
couldn't bring myself to say I loved him, I just couldn't.  It was still to
soon.  I could let him have my body, and have sex, but I couldn't just throw
those words around.  Truth be known I didn't know if I did love him.

We got up about 6:15, Ryan said, "You want to shower together, or
separately?"  I thought about it, and said "Probably we should shower
separately, it would be quicker, because if I get in the shower with you, I
might not get out."  Ryan laughed, "Your already tired of me." As he showed
me where the towels were, he let me go first.  "Can I at least wash your
back?" Ryan asked as I went into his private bath, which was also done in
green.  I had to ask.  "Ryan is green your favorite color?"  he looked at me
and started to chuckle, "Hell no, my favorite color is blue. My Mom did the
decorating."  My Gramps always said to me, "When your in business, never tell
the truth when they back you in a corner, change the subject."  That's what I
did, I changed the subject, as I entered the bathroom, and closed the door.

The water felt so refreshing as I showered.  I felt dirty though, because I
couldn't brush my teeth.  I didn't bring a tooth brush.  I didn't expect to
spend the night.  Oh shit, I never called home and told anyone where I was.
A fear began to take me.  I would be a punching bag for "What's his name"
tonight.  I began to tremble, and I cried in the shower.  I cried for JT, and
I cried for myself.

All of sudden, Ryan was in the shower with me.  "My love, you were taking so
long, I have to shower too.  What's wrong, why the tears?"  He put his strong
arms around me, oh those eye.  I melt every time I look at him.  I broke
down, I told him about JT, I told him about my father.  I cried in his arms,
he just held me.  I was having an effect on him, he was very aroused.  He
just held me in his arms, my feelings were more important than his desire.
He let me know that by just holding me.  I became aroused.  "Oh now you want
it."  Ryan said, "We don't have time. Can we take a rain check?"  I laughed,
"Sure."

On the ride back to Enfield, Ryan was beaming from ear to ear.  He talked
about hockey, he talked about his college plans, of going to Hawaii.  Hawaii,
its so far away.  I listened, to half of what he said.  My thoughts were
somewhere else.  They were with JT, and my grams.

We got to Enfield High at 7:00, Ryan dropped me off at our spot, the inner
circle had its own spot, right under the main entrance overhang.  Let anyone
try to kick us out.
He kissed me as I got out of the car, right there in front of the world.  It
seemed so normal, I didn't even think about it.  I kissed him back.

As I got out of the car Tricia, my conscience was watching me with that grin
of hers, and her baby blues were smiling too.  If Irish eyes can smile, her's
do.  If there is anyone I like to greet me Monday morning its Tricia.  Her
long dark brown hair frames her face, she is so pretty.  She has a toughness,
probably from being surrounded by brothers, she has one sister and three
brothers. "Justin, how are you this morning?"  Tricia says as she winks at
me.  I am embarrassed.  "Look at you get all red in the face."  She
continues, her dialog.  I know its coming, like a freight train down the
tracks out behind the school.  "New friend?"  She quips.  Ouch, that hurt.
There it was right on time.  "Yes, um, no, I mean ... oh damn you."  I am so
flustered, I can't even talk.  "I've known Ryan for a few months, I spent the
night at his house last night."  I blurted out.  "Oh?"  Tricia says, there's
those smiling eyes again.  "I'm all ears, do tell," she says.

I begin to tell her about how I met Ryan at the skating rink, practicing
skating.  How I went to his hockey game in Springfield.  How he teased me for
months, and how he showed up last night at my door step.  By this time Shelly
was with us and all ears.  Pammy and Nancy came up right behind Shelly.  One
thing about us we all love good gossip, especially when its about one of us,
and its true.  We support each other, we love each other.  We have shared
everything with each other since grammar school.  When I was done with my
tale, Shelly gave me a big hug, she looked at me and kissed me.  I knew she
still had feelings for me, but knew there was no hope.  Even though it hurt
her, she accepted it.

Half way through the day I realize I don't have my car.  Man I hate to take
the frieking bus.  "Justin Case please report to the main office, Justin Case
the main office."  Booms from the public address.  I go to the office.  Mrs.
Sjoka, one of the nicest people in the world, is the head secretary.  She
knows me on sight,  almost everyone knows me.  "Justin I have a message from
your Uncle Ryan, he'll be picking you up after school, he said to meet him in
front where he dropped you this morning."  She explains.  "Thank you Mrs.
Sjoka."

The rest of the day was typical, except at lunch a bunch of walked down to
the Connecticut River, and smoked a couple blunts.  Come to think of it was
typical.  Only I usually never smoked pot during the week.  Must be "What's
his name" rubbing off, like his drinking, never during the week.  I needed to
think about that sometime.  Just not today.

Ryan was there to pick me up right on time.  We rode to my house.  No one
would be home when I got there.  Sarah Jane was on her honeymoon, Moms was
working and so was "What's his name"  Hehe, I was horny the whole ride home.
Ryan was a hunk.  That blonde hair, that he had highlighted, those brown
eyes, and that smile.
As we drove to my house, I reached for his hand.  My cock was aching for
release.
Ryan held my hand, and looked over at my groin and said, "Somebody is awake."
Then he laughed, and asked "Do I get that rain check today?"  Oh he was
adorable, and I laughed with him and let go of his hand and rubbed his cock.
He was awake too.  "Yeah but you better hurry, before I blow my load in my
pants."  I said.

We pulled up in front of my house and raced to the back door.  We were both
eager to get to my bed room.  My bedroom is cool.  I have magazine tear outs
of Seth Green, Freddie Prince, Jr., Ryan Philippe, N*SYNC, Rich Cronin, and
Barry Watson.  I have a huge poster of 98 degrees with all the boys in their
boxers.  Shelly gave me for Christmas, see what I mean about accepting.  My
walls are painted in a soft baby blue, and my double bed has navy sheets, and
a navy and red quilt, that matches the drapes, I have a huge closet.  There
are glow in the dark stars painted on my ceiling, which I painted midnight
blue.  The furniture didn't match it came as hand me downs as others died or
replaced their own furniture.

Ryan loved my room, it was his favorite color.  We closed the door, behind
us.  He reached for me, and slowly undressed me.  I loved the feeling of his
hands taking my clothes off.  He was so observant of what he was doing.  He
took his time.  When he had me naked, he just looked at me, like he was
memorizing every inch of my youthful body.  I undressed him in the same
manner.  He was exquisite. He had such a masculine anatomy.  Chiseled,
doesn't even come close to describe his body.  Every muscle, every fiber
defined.  That chest, man that smooth tanned chest.  All I could do was sigh
as I looked at him all aroused in my bedroom.

We reached for each other and began to kiss, little kisses, first on the
lips, then we started moving our mouths to each others ears, and necks.  I
held him so tightly against my body.  He held me close to him.  We moved to
the bed.  He laid down first, he pulled me on top of him.  We kissed deeper,
and more passionate.  I was on fire.  My dick was super sensitive, and felt
like if I moved just right, or wrong, I would come.  I didn't want to come
yet.  I wanted to have sometime with this boy.  I wanted to be in his arms
feeling desire, and him desiring me.

We began pumping against each other, "Oh stop, wait a minute." I whisper to
Ryan.  He stops his grinding motions.  He runs his hands down my back.
"MMMMM,mmm yessss."  I moan.  This feels so right, so comfortable.  I feel
wanted, and desired.  I escape my bad place, and rush to this place.  I want
to be in this place, with Ryan.
Ryan, whispers up to me, "I want you Justin, I want to be one with you."  I
kiss him and we use our tongues to taste the desire in our mouths.  I keep a
bottle of hand lotion on the table next to my bed.   Usually its for my
hands.  Not today, not this Monday in May.  I put some into my hand and rub
it on my dick, and then I insert my middle finger into Ryan.  I play with him
while we're kissing again.  I have one hand on his prick, and one had working
on his ass.  His cock is bright red, and if it got any harder, I swear to God
it would burst.  I was excited just looking at his dick.

Ryan whispered to me again, "Now Justin, please, now."  I took my dick in my
right hand, and placed the head of it at his waiting hole.  I pushed just the
head into him.  He hissed, and then he moaned.  I reached under his knees and
brought his legs over my shoulders.  I eased my aching member into him.  I
felt myself buried into his hot ass.  I felt my balls slap against him.  I
looked into his eyes, pure passion.  They didn't have that puppy dog look,
now, just passion.  I began to pump in and out of him, and he was meeting my
movements.  He got a little carried away, and I came out.  I had to use my
hand to guide my pole back into his waiting orifice.  We were there, I came
first, burst after bust of my jiz filled him.  I grabbed his cock and still
had hand lotion on it, and rubbed his cock.  I took my right hand, and
started at the base of his cock, and ran my hand up his cock, and as I got to
the top I would tighten my hand so it felt like he was fucking my hand.  As I
pulled my hand off the top I tightened the grip, so he would feel the
sensations, like I was.  Then I would start at the top and reverse the
process, it only to four pumps like this, and Ryan's come was shooting all
over my stomach, and hairless chest.

Just then I heard Jeremy and Jonathan come bolting in the back door.  My two
half brothers had returned.  We had to hurry, no post sex cuddling. DAMN.

"Justin, Justin" I heard Jeremy, the older one say.  Jeremy was ten.  He was
tall for his age, and lanky.  He had blue eyes like his father, and blonde
hair.  He was a great kid.  Shit I hope he doesn't barge in looking for me.
The panic.  How can something that feels so right be wrong?  "Just a minute,
I'm getting dressed. I'll be right out."  I kissed Ryan, "Thank you, Ryan."
I said to him and we got out of the bed.  "Thank you," he replied.  We
dressed, said our good-byes, and he left for Longmeadow.

I went outside with Jeremy and Jonathan, and played some hoop.  We have a
great driveway hoop.  Ten feet off the ground.  Great backboard too.  Even
though they were younger than me they gave me a good game for my money, we
played Horse.  As screwed up as our home life was, I tried to get along with
my half brothers.

Moms came home a little while later.  She never said a word about last night.
 "What's his name worked second shift, so I wouldn't see him until the
weekend, unless he came into my room at night to give me the beating.  Ever
wake up to a beating?  When I was younger I would suck my thumb at night, I
didn't know it.  I was sleeping.  I remember, I was probably about 11, kind
of old to be sucking my thumb.  I didn't want to do it, but when I slept my
thumb found its way into my mouth.   He would come in and take my thumb out
of my mouth, I didn't wake until he had bent it back where it would touch my
wrist.  It would hurt for days after.  It didn't stop me from doing it,
eventually I grew out of it on my own.

After supper, Monday's was leftover night.  We always had a big Sunday
dinner, and left overs on Mondays.  I was happy we had all the food left over
from the wedding.  Good leftovers at least.  The three of us watched
television after until bed time.  Jeremy and Jonnie went to bed at 8:00.  I
went to bed early that Monday night.  I went at 10:00.

It was a restless sleep, and "What's his name" didn't come in.

Well readers that's it.  Until we meet again.  Feel free to e-mail me with
your comments.  Justin69SK@aol.com
Most of this chapter was fiction.  We did have left overs every Monday,  I
really did suck my thumb, and "What's his name" really would bend it
backwards like that.
Oh and Tricia, Shelly and I frequently walk down to the Connecticut River and
smoke pot.  I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it.

I'll keep you posted on my friend Rich