This story involves gay fiction. I don't like writing bout sex, so you won't find it in here, I might suggest some of it, but no hardcore. First chapter I said this was based on my life. There was a bit of a misunderstanding, the story I was writing a while ago which I gave up on was based on my life, I didn't bother to read it before pasting it onto chapter 1, so there was a bit of a misconception there. For legal reasons, I need to state that anyone under the age of 18 cannot be reading this. Not like I can really do anything to stop you, it's more of like a moral obligation.

Kayden- By Ryan Keith

Chapter 3- A Nightmare

"Get out of here now!"

The word pierced me like ice. His voice was calm, yet at the same time intimidating. I suddenly remembered my surroundings. Five guys. They looked around the ages seventeen and eighteen.

Shin lay beaten on the floor. Scott was down on one knee, holding his head where one of the guys had managed to land a blow. Jett was nowhere to be seen. Of course not, he was still at the restaurant. The taste of blood was evident in my mouth. My arm hurt like hell. This was real.

"What are you waiting for? Get out of here!" the kid yelled. The five guys masked the boy's figure.

"Zac, help me. I can't carry Shin by myself."

Scott held Shin's arm over him, with one of his own still holding his head. I ran over to him, helped him lift Shin up off the ground.

"What about the other kid?" I questioned.

The five guys surrounded the small boy. He didn't look any older than we were. The guys hadn't moved yet. They seem to be arguing among themselves.

Scott turned to me, his face filled with anger and confusion, "We can't do anything for him right now! He's buying us time. We have to get Shin out of here and find help fast."

We ran away from the trouble, away from the danger.

Scott spat as we moved through the darkened alleyway. "Let's hope he can hold them off until we find someone."

The thought of a guy my age, bleeding face and broken body lying motionless on the ground made my stomach turn.

I can't leave him alone. He's going to be killed.

Running blindly in the alley, we finally reach an opening. Shin started to regain consciousness. His coughing and heavy breathing reminded me that he took a blow to the throat and chest.

"Scott, find someone fast. I'm going back for him"

As I stood up Scott turned to me, "You can't be fucking serious! You saw those guys. They will murder you. He...he said he'll be okay."

"What the fuck do you mean he'll be okay?" I yelled in frustration. "Those guys will kill him if I don't do something. They might have already killed him!" The thought of death made my stomach turn again.
I won't let him die.

Pushing past Scott, I ran back down the narrow alley.

"What do you think you could do?" Scott yelled after me, his voice fading as I ran deeper into the maze of buildings.

Why did this have to happen? If anything happens to him...Who is he? Why do I care so much? Of course I should care, he saved us.

Thunder shook the narrow walls as I ran through them. The instant flashes of lightning told me to turn back.

I can't. Not without him...

Shifting to the left to dodge the corner trash bins, I make my way back to where we left the fight.

Please God. Let him be safe... Protect him...Please...I...


The light was intense. The entire dark sky seemed to flash white. Time slowed down. In the middle of the gloomy alley lay two bodies, and they were no one I knew. The two on the floor were of the five bullies that cornered us. Four figures were shuffling near the side of a broken building. Three large guys. They kept their distance from the fourth figure.

One suddenly rushed the smaller fourth figure with intense speed. I was certain his blow was going to connect.

It didn't.

The boy simply sidestepped evading his attackers blow. The kid stepped forward, driving his elbow with the side of the attacker's head. A third assailant had fallen.

His buddy took this opportunity to sneak behind the stranger, trying to land a solid kick to his side. The attempt was short lived. The kid had grabbed the incoming leg, absorbing the blow that was dealt to him. In one swift movement, the boy secured the opponent's leg and with his other arm and had his elbow crashing down on the guy's kneecap. The crack was loud, but the scream that came after was deafening.

There was one left. Panic masked his face. The odds were against this lone man. His other four buddies lay on the cold ground.

Another flash of lightning. I felt water dripping down the side of my face. Rain. The moment I noticed it, it came hard. Droplets of rain bounced on the now wet pavement. Staring at the two figures was a sight. The ring leader of the little gang that attacked us stood in a defensive stance, a small pocket knife drawn. The other shadowed figure stood motionless; one hand in his pocket, while the other one wiped the hair that matted his face.


The sky shone white. For that brief moment I saw him. Icy, piercing eyes. I knew this boy. His face was neutral, but his eyes were deadly. They we're not the kind, gentle eyes I remembered. They were harsh, cold, and frightening. No longer did I see the cool ocean blue. His eyes were a pale grey like the moon. It was Kayden. His eyes showed no mercy for the man who stood before him.

Before I could blink, Kade rushed the other man. The man raised his knife to defend himself, thrusting it forward towards Kade's neck. He caught it. The knife pierced Kade's left hand. Yet, it appeared like it was intentional. With his left hand, Kade grabbed the opponent's fists along with the blade. The knife still lay in the center of Kade's hand. With his right hand, Kade landed a powerful punch to the side of the attacker's face. The man stumbled and fell, catching his face where the blow had landed.

Kade stood over the man who wounded him, the knife still protruding form his hand. Kade grasped the knife and pulled it out, without flinching or showing any hint of pain, and threw the weapon far off to the side building. His hand dripped of rain and blood. A noticeable puddle of red formed at his side.

Kade grabbed the man by the neck and pulled him up, throwing him against the side of the abandoned building. His hands wrapped easily against the guy's throat. He was choking him. Blood ran down Kade's forearm. He was going to kill him. The man attempted to pry Kade's hands away, but Kade had a solid grip on his neck.

I couldn't see Kade's face, but his voice was filled of anger and rage, "You mess with my friends, and you mess with me. And I'm gonna fucking kill you. You hurt them... I saw you. You punched him. His blood is still on your fist. I don't care if you all come after me, but you stay the fuck away from them. They have nothing to do with anything."
Kade let out a laughing sigh, "No point telling you this, since you're going to die".

My throat was dry. I tried calling out his name, but the sound wouldn't come out. My knees gave out and I collapsed to the ground. On my knees, I try to breathe, but can't. My hands are laid out in front of me, as I stare at the wet ground.

No. Don't do it. You're going to kill him. You're not like that. Please, stop it. Please, someone stop him!

With all my strength I push all the power I had to my voice.

"STOP IT!!!"

I look up ahead. Kade stands there looking at me. His grip on the guy's throat eases up. The man starts coughing as he falls to the ground.

"You're not like them. You're different. Come back. Please... Don't do this, man...I..." The energy I had vanished and the darkness engulfed me.


A room. A familiar wall. My house. There's two people. Talking. One of them is Kade. The other one, is me. My other self has no face. Yet I know it is me. I try to call Kade, but I have no voice. Everything is gray, the walls, the lights, and me. The two figures stand in full colour.

"Why did you do that, Kayden?"
"They were going to hurt you. Kill you. I had too."

"Because of you... My life was normal before you came into it. Who the hell are you?"

This other me. My words were harsh. I didn't mean them.


"Because of you... You ruin everything. You're a fucking monster."

Kayden just stood there. His face had no emotion. His grey eyes shine above all else. He turns around, and walks away. I try to run to him, but the distance between us continue to grow.

Don't leave. Please!


"Look's like you're finally up."

I was sitting in an upright position. My hands clung to the thin fabric that covered my body. I rub my eyes and look towards the voice.

Jett sat sprawled on a chair. Looked pretty uncomfortable.

"Hey, what's up?" I mumbled. What am I suppose to say. I just had a nightmare. Which one was the nightmare? It was then I realized where I was. I was in a hospital bed.

"Jett, why am I..." I tried to gather the words, but my mind felt blank.

You should leave. You're a fucking monster.

The words from my dream echo in my head.

"We're at the hospital. You gave me and the guy's quite a scare. Just lie down and rest. We'll talk about it when you rest a bit more. It's 4:30 in the morning. Go back to sleep," Jet ordered.

"Ok," I didn't feel like arguing. I guess the alley way incident was real.

Then who is Kayden.

"I'll go get your dad and the doctor. They told me to fetch them if you awoke during the night," Jet said as he headed for the door. I lay my head back and looked up at the ceiling.

I heard the door open as Jett stepped out. Someone stopped him. I heard their voices.

"How is he?"

"He's tired. When did you get back?

"Just now. They have nothing on me. No point on keeping me overnight"

"He woke up for a second, but he just fell back to sleep."

"Just like a sleeping beauty."

I heard Jett snicker, "Anyways I need to find his dad. I'll talk to you later."

"Sure, I'll just check up on him."

The door closed. Footsteps approached. I know who it was. His voice had the same smooth tone. The dream still frightened me. What if I say something like that? Something I might not be able to take back. Maybe I should pretend I'm asleep. That way when I have a clear head, I could talk to him normally without pushing him away.

I lay on the single bed quietly with my eyes closed. I felt his presence by my bed. I could feel his figure close by, blocking the light from a near by lamp. The window was open. I felt the cool breeze of September night blow over me.

He didn't move. Seconds turned into minutes. The minutes stretched and felt like years. I slowly began to dose off to sleep. I imagined myself back at home. Suddenly I felt movement. Something soft brushed my lips. I felt his breathing. His soft lips came in contact with mine. Nothing was forced. He just held our lips together for a brief moment. Although it was a simple kiss, something powerful surge up inside me. It felt so right. I felt his breath exhale as he pulled back. He traced his fingers by my face. Sleep came as I recalled the events that led up to this moment.


The blazing morning sun woke me up earlier than I was use to. It's a gorgeous day. The sky was bright blue with the sun shining just above the neighborhood houses. I looked at my digital clock: 7:15. Seven hours of sleep is good enough for me. Jumping out of bed I run to the bathroom to do my daily routine. Today is the day. My night out with the guys. A time for us to explore our youth.

Dad sat in the kitchen in his robe, apparently looking over some papers from work. The smell of freshly made coffee filled the kitchen.

"I thought you said you were going to leave your work at work," I playfully scolded.

My dad looked up at me and smiled, "Hey sport, you're up early. What time did you sleep last night?"

"What about you? You came home after I went to sleep. And now you're up, you must have gotten maybe what? Four, five hours of sleep," I interjected.

"Ouch. I wasn't aware I had a curfew." Dad said smiling, "I'm sorry, it won't happen again, Sir."

"Better not," I joked. I leant over and examined the papers that were sprawled across the table, "So what are we looking at?"

"New recruits. I need to organize another team section to do the research and mock trials of the new test type we're creating. D-Team is slacking off and not reliable. Sector three is busy as it is. And I can't watch over everything. So I figure I should appoint a team to do the preliminary test and research. We're delayed as it is and we need to go over the entire infrastructure. The people upstairs just want results, damn bastards. Might as well use the company's resources while they're available, I mean just last week..."

I love my dad and all, but sometimes I can't comprehend a single thing that comes out of his mouth. It's better for him to rant a bit. Get it off his chest.

Aside from listening to dad bitch about his work, I imagined the different places we were going to go visit. We first obviously will need to check into our hotel. After that we could go around downtown. Perhaps go around the gay district just for fun. Maybe eat at Hard Rock Café or Planet Hollywood. After the game we could go cruise around the city. Go up the C.N Tower at night. I heard it's beautiful at night.

" I told him instead that if he doesn't..."

"Dad!" I said slightly annoyed.

He looked at me and caught on to what he was doing.

"Anyways, the guys and I are probably meet at the GO Station at around 11 o'clock. We want to explore a bit before we go to the game."

"Good idea. You could probably check out the Gay district, it may be fun," he commented. I love it how we think alike.

"Just be careful. Don't follow anyone. Stay away from empty lots. Although you won't be remotely close there, stay away from Jane and Finch." Dad warned, giving me the usual tone. Jane and Finch is one of the most dangerous streets in Canada. There's like a stabbing a day there, even in broad daylight.

"I know. You think I'm an idiot?" I said sarcastically.

The look dad gave me made me mentally kick myself.

"I mean I will be with the other guys. No one will do anything if we stick together," brushing his worries aside.

Dad nodded and started to organize his papers.

The rest of the morning consisted of me making breakfast for two, while dad piled personal profiles into 3 separate boxes. Breakfast was quiet. We discussed places to go and emergency contact numbers. I had all my friend's cell phone numbers as well as their parent's numbers. I was set. By the time I was done cleaning up, it was almost 9 o'clock.

My washroom is connected to my room, so I never had to worry about privacy. Not like there was anything to hide. It was just me and dad. We were pretty comfortable with each other when it came to walking around in just boxer briefs.

I took a very long hot shower. I watched while the water cascaded off my body. The water ran like a river, breaking off into separate paths as it ran over every bump and ridge on my body. I took a moment to admire my own form. My participation in competitive swimming has helped me shape my body the way I like it. I wasn't heavily muscled, but I have a great skin tone. My skin was tight on my body. I brushed my hand over my stomach. All the years of running, biking and swimming help shape these, and I was proud of it. Girls always seem to like to touch my chest, slowly rubbing their way to my stomach. I guess girls love the abs.

I stared at my legs. I was gifted in having almost no hair on my legs. Besides the hair on my head, my pits, the soft stubble on my usually clean shaven face, and genital hair, I was pretty bare. I probably got it from my dad. My arms were pretty well defined. They weren't bulging, but they weren't skinny. They suited my body. I enjoy watching the veins pop out a bit when I flex. The arms are usually what I look for on a guy. Yeah sure, the face and body is really important. However, the arms are definitely on the checklist. Kade had great arms. He also had great legs. He was almost perfect. That's all I could ever see of him though. For some odd reason, no one in our gym classes take showers. I really don't mind, since it's last period, but sometimes I wish showers were mandatory after gym. You really can't blame me. I'm a young male, my hormones are raging, and I'm gay.

After my shower, I shaved and applied the basic things. Gel, deodorant, etc. Choosing something to wear was a challenge. I decided to go with the loose jeans, a nice black shirt and a pair of runners. I liked the black shirt because it was somewhat tight in the chest and shoulder regions. The sleeves were pulled higher so more of my arms are exposed. It was great for cruising.

By 10:30, I was ready and about to jet out of the door. Dad was waiting for me in his nice suit. My dad was great with suits. He didn't wear the suits that look like they were bought at 90% off. He was one of the best dressed men I've ever seen. Today he wore a black suit with a red dress shirt underneath. He looked styling.

"Where are you going like that? Looks like a prom suit." I teased.

"Actually I have lunch with one of the directors today to discuss...never mind, " he said catching himself.

I almost laughed at him.

"Anyways, here's $200 in cash, just in case there's an emergency." He passed me a wad of cash. There were six $20's, six $10's, and four $5's. He then presented a credit card, "Use this to pay for the rooms, food, and other expenses. Remember to tip, and be courteous. Don't drink up the mini bar and wander Toronto drunk. You might find yourself in a lot of trouble."

I just stared at the bundle of cash he handed me, and the looked over his credit card. A platinum card.

It took me a while for me to escape from my daze. I couldn't believe I had this much money to spend. I grabbed my duffle bag and headed to the car.

By the time I got to the GO station, Jett, Scott and Shin were already waiting for me. Each with their own bags.

"Took you long enough," Scott said, his mouth tilted giving me that cute grin, "We almost boarded the train without you."

"You wouldn't leave without me." I stated.

"No, he would have. Took me and Shin to convince him to stay and wait. You know what he's like with trains." Jett replied, shaking his head with disapproval.

How could I forget? Scott's been interested in anything that moves. Train, however, has always had a place in his heart. I imagine he would be a mechanic or engineer when he grows up.

"It's because of the windows. Everything goes by so fast. It's like watching the world go by in fast mode. And I love the way that..."

When he gets going about any vehicle that moves, there's no stopping him.

"Well, we should probably board now, it leaves in two minutes," Shin suggested, "That is of course you would rather wait an hour for the next one."

We boarded the train on time and spent the next hour talking. We talked about the triathlon I participated in, Shin's girlfriend, and Maya. Scott was pretty silent when the discussion switched over to the topic of Maya. He always seemed quiet around her. Like she was a threat to him or something. I don't think they got along well.

"She is a great girl. I have wanted to ask her out a while ago. But she's had her eye set on you Zac." Jett explained, giving me somewhat of a warm smile.


"Oh please. Tell me you aren't brain dead? How could you not know she's interested. The whole school practically knows," Shin joked.

"Yeah man. For a while I thought you were trying to play it cool. You know, make her come to you or something. I really don't approve of it, but I thought that was your style," Jett mused, "But now I don't know what to believe. Maybe you are blind."

"I don't see why it matters. She's just like any other girl. Nothing that great about her." Scott said harshly.

Shin just stared intently at Scott.

"Well, make your move man. It's not right for a woman to make the move. The guy should do it." Jett said, sharing his knowledge of relationships.

"Is that based on experience, or from your sisters' advice?" I joked.

Jett is practically whipped by his older sisters. They've jumped on him since he was a kid. All that work turned Jett into quite a gentleman. They even taught him how to dance and follow up gestures that were gentlemanly. He was really smooth with ladies, but also respected them.

"Nothing to do with either!" Jett blushed.

We just laughed while Scott stared out the window, and Shin string at Scott.

We got off at Union Station and decided to walk to our hotel. It wasn't that far, and it gave us an opportunity to do a little sight seeing. Whitby isn't too far from Toronto. It's just that we didn't usually get to browse Toronto as tourist.

"Geez, are we there yet?" Scott complained.

"For crying out loud," Jett said annoyed, "we only started walking. It's going to be at least another 20 minutes or so."
"Really?" Scott said suspiciously, his eyes giving that playful glow. "Wasn't it you who said it was the other way. We almost went completely the opposite direction. And from what I remember, you have the worst sense of direction ever!"

Jett blushed a deep red. Jett didn't have the best navigating skills, but he was still great at hikes and camping.

"Leave me alone you ass," Jett said, a curved smile forming at his lips.

Scott just laughed on, keeping his pace between us.

Shin was more of the navigator for this walk. He guided us through the streets of Toronto like a tour, giving us the opportunity to look around at the large buildings and other stores.

"Guys?" Shin started, his voice seemed somewhat troubled, "Do you think we can go to China town later on? I promised my mom to buy some herbal tea."

"Cool!" explained Scott, "I always wanted to check it out."
I was fine by the idea. We probably could do more exploring down town, but I wanted to see China town too.

I felt my spine freeze up. I felt eyes on me. I spun around expecting to find someone. People walked on the sidewalk. Nothing out of the normal.

What the hell was that?

I was glad we decided to walk. I've seen Toronto plenty of times, but it was like my first time. The buildings towered over us. I spun in circles looking at the blue sky meshed with the high buildings. This was Toronto. The city I love. The CN Tower was visible from our position. We are defiantly going there.

We found the hotel and made our way to the reception desk. A kind middle aged lady sat there, quietly engrossed in the computer monitor.

"Guys", I motioned, "Wait here. I'll get our keys."

"Dude, dude, dude!" Scott desperately called out as I walked away, "Make sure the rooms have mini bars."

Scott's alarming call almost gave me a heart attack. Several people turned to look at us before returning to their business.

"You dumb ass," Jett smiled, smacking Scott at the back of the head, "Obviously there's going to be a mini bar. Did you need to draw so much attention?"

Scott shot out his sly grin, "Just making sure we have hook ups."

"I want a massage."

We all turned to Shin. He stood there picking some dirt from his nail and leaning against a stone column. Sometimes he says the most unusual things.

"You know. A misuse. They have them don't they? I could go for one. My backs all sore and stuff. "

The seriousness of Shin's face was priceless. The three of us cried out in tear breaking laughs, while Shin stood there starting at us. My stomach tore apart as I tried to control myself. That earned us another look from the guests and bellboys.

I made my way to the receptionist desk and greeted her.
"Hi. I made a reservation for two rooms," I said politely.

"Hi, welcome to Fairmont Royal York Hotel. May I have your name please?"

I gave her the necessary information. She waited patiently while I signed some documents, and then handed me two keys.

"One room is a double, good for two. The other one is also a double, but much bigger with a couch and pullout bed. Just sign here and I'll have someone escort you to your rooms." She said offering me a genuine smile.

As we approached our rooms, the bellboy initiated conversation among us.

"So, you guys tourists?" he asked. He stood pretty tall. Fairly skinny. His hat sat sideways giving him a touch of his own style. He wasn't bad looking, but he wasn't Kade quality.

"Not really," I replied, "We live about an hour from here. We just decided to do something big for my birthday. So we planned a trip to Toronto."

"Wow. Happy Birthday man!" His smile was heartfelt. We started walking to our room.

"This is one of our best suites. I hope you boys have a lot of fun out here," the boy in blue said.

"Damn straight! Uh, where do we order our masseuse?" Shin asked.

Scott snorted while Jett shook his head. The bellboy looked at us confused and told Shin the details of ordering one.

The young man opened the door to the main suite. It was huge. It was like a condo. The area we walked into was apparently the social room. There was a big screen television in a large wooden frame that stood off the floor. There were shelves on both sides, their contents unknown to us. A total of three couches circled a pretty cool coffee table. The mini-bar apparently caught Scott's eyes with interest. Connected to this room was a full kitchen. It was all white. The cleaning ladies did a fine job on this room. The walls were a light blue with different pictures of scenery. One was of a waterfall, birds soaring over them. Another was of a very colourful garden.

I walked around the room transfixed with what was apparently ours.

"The two rooms there lead to the separate bedrooms, both with double beds. The washroom is connected with both rooms. The other room you booked is very similar to this except there is no kitchen. Room 714 and 716 are connected via that door over there. So you guys can unlock it and keep it open. That's pretty much it. I hope you boys have a great time here." The young boy gestured.

"Thanks man. Take it easy." Jett said shaking the guy's hand.

The bellboy nodded and made his way out of the room.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, "I didn't tip him."

Before the guy's could say anything, I bolted out of the room tracking down the kind guy who showed us our room.

"Hey dude, wait up!" I hollered, catching up to him as he boarded the elevator.

"What can I do you for?" he said titling his head.

"Sorry man I forgot about tip. I'm really sorry about that."

The boy looked at me and started to laugh.

"I'm sorry. You have really nice friends. Your tall buddy back there handed me a twenty. Largest tip I've gotten since I worked here."

I stood there dumbfounded.

"Dammit Zac listen to us before you jet outta the room will ya?" Scott called out as he approached us, definitely annoyed.

"Uh, um, yeah, sorry."

"Don't worry about it man. Nice to meet you guys. You cuties go on and have some fun. Especially you birthday boy" With a wink, the elevator closed.

I stood there. I didn't know what to think. Was that guy coming on to me?

Scott broke the silence, "Dude that guy is definitely a fag."

The words rang out in my ear. A sudden jolt of pain struck my heart.


"That guy... He's gay. Can't believe it. Nowadays you don't know whose straight anymore. Bunch of freaks."

I mastered all the emotions I had and buried them. I couldn't react to this. Scott would find out, and then he would hate me.

"Whatever," I said coldly, "lets get out of here."

By the time we left the hotel it was close to 1:00 pm. Hard Rock Café was just a short walk away so we decided to chill there and grab some food. The game didn't start until 6:00 so we had a lot of time on our hands. The whole meal was a blur. I remember eating a cheese burger, but not tasting anything. The conversation went from sports to school to what we want to do in the future. We talked about that kind of stuff a lot, and we usually get into it. However, my answers we brief and blunt that day. The thoughts of what had happened in the hotel still was replaying in my head.

"Bunch of freaks" Scott's voice was still solid in my head.

The events that followed after was played in fast mode. We made our way to China town and grabbed some herbal tea for Shin's mom. We toured some Chinese shops and went through some foreign items which seemed pretty cool. I tired to act normal. I didn't want the guys to regret this day.

"This is my own problem. I can't have it interfering with our day. I'll deal with my feelings when I get home." I told myself.

We walked around a bit more, had some Italian soda's from the Second Cup Coffee house, and walked around downtown. I was no longer interested in the city. I wanted to be, but something was toiling in my mind. The guys didn't seem to notice. They kept up the conversation like we were having fun. I guess I put on quite a show.

At 5:00 we decided to head for the Sky dome. We took the subway to Queens and decided to walk the rest of the day. My feet hurt, but I didn't care. I pushed myself to follow through this day that I was looking forward to.

I sat through the game completely unmoved. The game was interesting. I just never got into it. We did the waves and cheered, but the voices all of a sudden felt so far away. The laughs of my three friends died into the cheers of the audience while I stared at them. Their focus on the game was unshakable, yet my mind ventured on its own, not knowing what was going on. In the middle of the grand stadium, I sat lost in the sea of noise. Centered in a dome full of thousands of cheering fans, I felt alone. Together with all my friends, I felt alone. I sat there in silence, as the wave of noise enveloped me.

"Hey you ok Zac?" Jett asked.

"Yeah no problem," I said returning to reality. The game had ended almost thirty minutes ago. We made our way to a great restaurant called Swiss Chalet. I almost didn't remember how we got here.

"You've been quiet the whole time we got here," Scott said, "Something eating you?"

Damn Scott. If you only knew...

"Nothing. I just can't believe we're here." They didn't buy it, "Actually I gotta go to the washroom."

With that I got up and walked away. I could barely hear Shin say, "I think he might have diarrhea." I couldn't help but smile.

I splashed some cold water on my face while I forced my mind to empty itself of everything.

"This is my birthday dammit! I can't act like this in front of the guys. This is suppose to be our day. Forget about everything. Just have fun" I said to myself.

I heard the door open. Jett walked in with a grim face.

"So you going to tell me what's up?

"Nothing is up!" I almost yelled, emphasizing the words.

"Ok man. Whatever you say," he whispered looking at the mirror as he fixed his sleeves, "It's just that you've been acting weird all day, ever since we left the hotel."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" I asked angrily.

"You tell me. This isn't like you. You've been waiting all week for this. You were okay for a while. But then all of a sudden you act like you don't want to be around us," he let out a heavy sigh, "like your forcing yourself to come along."

"That's not it!" I desperately told him.

It's not you guys. It's me.

"Then tell me. What the fuck's going on. Shit man you're starting to scare me"

"It's nothing"
"Fuck that. Don't give me that shit. I've know you for a long time. Don't give me this bullshit. You know I'm solid for you. Why can't you trust me?" Jett's voice was strained.

"Oh no, don't pull this on me. I told you this is nothing. So just drop it. Just go out there pretend like this never happened and just have fun." I said forcing a tight smile. I bit the bottom of my lip trying to hold everything in.

"Pretend? You want me to pretend that nothing is tearing up my best friend. How the fuck am I suppose to have fun when you're looking so hurt and rejected? No. You're going to tell me right now what this is all about." Jett commanded.

The anger dragged out of me. I swore I wasn't going to force this onto them. All I do is hurt them. I can't look at them. I can't face Jett.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I can't... Just leave me alone."

I bolted out of the washroom. I nearly knocked over a serving lady as I left the restaurant. I heard Shin and Scott call out my name, but I forced their voices out.

Where was I going? Where am I headed? What am I to do? Why am I gay? Does God hate me so much that he had to make me what I am?

I ran and ran. I knocked into a couple of people as I turned corners, but I didn't care. The sidewalk was flooded with people, leaving me feeling confined. I had to get out.

I turned into an alley trying to get away from the noise and the crowd. I wanted to be alone. I was tired. I couldn't help who I was. Why is it so painful?

The alley was dark. It probably was around 9:00. I couldn't see what was ahead of me anymore.

"Is this what I'm suppose to be? Alone in darkness?", I questioned myself.

It wasn't fair. I had so much faith in them. Today was the day. We we're going to go back to the hotel and talk a bit. I was then going to tell them I had something important to say. I was going to tell them tonight. With what's happened, with Scott's reaction. I can't do this!

"FUCK! Why the hell did this have to happen now!" I yelled at the abandoned building.

I sat on the cold ground while I tried to control my feelings. I suddenly felt scared. I should have avoided these alleyways. Anything could happen out here. I stood up and made my way back toward the way I entered. As I turned the corner something caught my eye. My path was blocked. Five bodies stood in front of me.

I suddenly felt scared. I should have avoided these alleyways. Anything could happen out here. I made my way back toward the way I entered. As I turned the corner something caught my eye. My path was blocked. Five bodies stood in front of me.

"Weird night to be out in this part of the city. Most tourists don't come into these parts. I thought you mother's taught you to avoid dark allies." The guy in the middle taunted.

I was beyond sadness. I was frustrated and angry. I was tired and I didn't feel like being picked on.

"I don't have a fucking mother you piece of shit. Get out of my way" I demanded as I walked towards them.

I didn't see it coming. A fist came into contact with my face. I was on the ground and hurt. I snapped. The adrenaline in me was pumped high. I rushed at them. I wasn't a bad fighter. No one picked on me because I could fight. However five against one was too much. Anger and frustration clouded my senses to realize. I felt every punch and kick that came from two of the guys that took me on. I nailed one in the stomach but he quickly recovered and grabbed a metal pipe that was leaning on the wall. He attacked me as I raised my arms to block my face. The pipe smashed into my left arm. The pain was great. I yelled out as I cradled my arm. It wasn't broken, at least, I hoped it wasn't.

The leader walked up to me and grabbed me by the shirt.

"What the fuck is so great about this piece of shit?" the boy sneered.

My mouth decided to talk for me before I could think of a reply, "Fuck you asshole. You better let go of me cause I'm seriously going to fuck you up."

The guy let out a laugh before he pulled his fists back and hit me with a roundhouse right. My mind went blank. There was total silence except my body hitting the ground.

I thought I heard voices, but I ignored them. I lay on the floor in pain. I slowly opened my eyes and saw them. My friends. Shin and Scott they were fighting the guys. Shin was on the back of one trying to take him down. Scott was pushing three of them aside trying to get to me. One of them kneed Scott in the stomach. Jett was nowhere to be seen. I tried to get up but the leader had his foot on my back, grinding my body into the pavement. I let out a yell of pain as I tried to break free.

My friends. They're being hurt because of me. I have to get them out of here.

I watched as the guy Shin was on toss him against the side of the building and punched him in the stomach. The guy then took a step back and kicked him across the face. The guy walked up to Shin and kicked him again. Shin wasn't moving. I cried out for Shin. The three other guys finally got Scott. Scott fought viciously trying to break through them, but he couldn't.

I watched as a figure ran up and kick one of the three guys. Scott broke free and limped his way to Shin. The foot on my back finally lifted off, but delivered another blow to my stomach before running towards the figure.

"Get out of here now!"

The words woke me up. It was morning. My head still hurt, and I felt like shit. The sun shone out and greeted my eye. The day was bright, the sky was blue and the birds were singing. I sat on a hospital bed. Kayden's head resting on the side of my bed. I gently reached out and stroked his hair.

Who are you Kayden? Why am I so scared to know?

I stroked his hair while he slept. I tried to remember the moment I fell asleep. Was that a kiss? Or was I dreaming? I didn't care. I was content at the moment. I wished this moment would freeze in time forever. Something told me the day was going to get a lot worse.


Thanks for the support guys. Sorry this chapter took to long to write. There are some things in this chapter that reminds me of what I could have lost. Some emotions that the characters go through, their torment and pain are representations of events that went in my life. No I didn't get attacked behind an alley^. I added a lot to this story to make it interesting. However thoughts and emotions are real. If you have any questions, comments or concerns please forward them to me at Special thanks to Dewey for editing my work. Next chap might take a while. Kinda busy here^^. Latez.

Copyright 2003 Ryan Keith