This story involves gay fiction. I don't like writing bout sex, so you won't find it in here, I might suggest some of it, but no hardcore. This is basically the story of my life; there have been alterations in names places, and events. There is no sex blah, blah, blah. You know the rest. If you've gone this far, I can't stop you anymore.
Kayden- By Ryan Keith
Chapter 6- A New Day
wasn't who I thought he was. From the moment I saw him stumble into the
classroom, I imagined him to be this innocent dude who had the greatest
personality. Well, he does have a great personality, but he also hides a dark
past. The recent discoveries of Kayden are hard to believe. Yet, the
seriousness of his gaze, and the strength of his voice reaffirmed his words.
Kayden was a runaway. He suffered back at his home, discovered a new life, and
lost two very important people. He changed his name, has a tendency to fight
when needed, was involved in a gang related incident, and moved to
His hair was perfect, his eyes mesmerizing, his lips smooth, and he had a strikingly fit body. I recalled the day I saw him at the recreation center I swam in, watching his body glisten with his sweet nectar as he ran the in-door track, his cut body moving systematically like a machine. For a kid our age, he was pretty developed. I recalled the little physical competition Kayden and Jett shared during our opening week. Most of all, I remember those blue jewels in his eyes. The cool- and at times icy- blue eyes that seem to see everything. The mysterious phenomenon of his eyes turning into the pale grey when he was serious or angry. His entire existence was a mystery, yet I felt so close to him. I still recall the faint kiss we shared. His smile is a novel on its own. Let's not forget about that grin; it can turn heads a full 360 degrees if he decided to walked down the hallway with that loaded.
Yet, it was like the incident never happened. Before I knew it, it was Tuesday. The events that occurred the previous two nights still were faint in my head. Nothing really happened with my dad. He asked what was up. I told him the truth. Everything except about Kayden. It was the same deal with what I told the police. For all I cared, everything was over. This Neil person is still in some teen juvenile housing jail, and the people who attacked us would never approach us again. Things were hectic around the guys and me. The morning we saw each other, it was like New Years. We were so happy to see each other. No one suffered any real damage, except maybe Jett. He seems a bit distant even if he was happy to see me. I didn't really notice it then, Shin made a big enough scene to make up for Jett's lack of enthusiasm. The moment I saw him, he literally pounced on me. Scott was his normal self: cocky and loud.
"I had a headache at the time. If I was at my peak, those guys wouldn't have stand a chance." He told us.
We were all early that morning too. The bell wasn't going to ring for another 30 minutes. We sat outside by the stone benches just enjoying the silence. It wasn't really awkward, I guess we were just content with everything.
I was surprised to see Mai followed by Maya. I didn't know they knew each other. For one thing, Mai was this superior lady who had a back bone, and Maya was this beautiful goddess who seemed to do everything with a touch of grace.
We just waved to them as they approached. I couldn't help but grin when Mai walked behind Shin and wrapped her arms around his neck down to his chest. Shin just turned his head slightly and lightly kissed her making her smile like I've never seen before. It was like two opposites canceling. The restless Shin becoming this smooth gentleman, and straight-forward and bold Mai, giggling with a mellow smile. I looked at them with happiness and jealousy. I wanted that kind of love too.
"Okay, you don't need to advertise. We know already." Scott complained with a hint of distaste, "I mean we're at school. Save it for the library or the janitor's closet."
Mai simply walked up and smacked him at the back of the head while Shin grinned. Sometimes I wonder how far this fool really has gone with her. Scott decided to just shut his mouth after catching the dangerous glares from Maya and Jett. I was happy with this- well, almost happy. Happy would be with Kayden as well. I guess someone was smiling down on me.
"Uh, hey guys!"
I turned towards the boy's voice already knowing who it was. Kayden stood looking as beautiful as ever. His knapsack was around one arm, his left holding onto it, his other hand deep in his pocket. His pants were as baggy as I remember, and his shirt was unbuttoned and hanging. His cool necklace hung from his neck.
"You better watch it Kade," Maya warned in a playful voice, "The General is going to pop a vein."
The General, our religion teacher. Commonly known as Mr. Sergeant. Everyone hated him, and he knew it.
The three of us laughed at the small image of our religion teacher making an ass of himself again.
"Oh Kade, did you finish that 3 point perspective drawing for art?" Mai asked returned to her original position around Shin's neck.
"Um, not really. I was sort of busy over the weekend."
"So I've heard. I'm glad nothing serious happened to you guys." Mai coolly said.
We all just stared widely at her while Shin shuddered. Maya just looked around obviously missing something.
"Oh, umm, I sorta told her about the incident." Shin explained somewhat embarrassed.
"What incident?" Maya asked.
It came out like a faucet. Mai replayed the entire night through the words of Shin. Of course it was horrendously modified, since it ended with the attackers running away and Kayden tripping and cutting himself while he tried to run after them.
The moment of truth finally arrived when Scott asked the million dollar question, "Why were you there in the first place? It's kinda suspicious that you show up after those punks jumped Zac." There was a sharp edge to Scott's statement. It was almost like an accusation.
"Well, his aunt lived in the area. He just happen to see you guys running around." I lied. I wanted to help a bit. I didn't want Kayden to be seen as a dangerous guy.
"I was at dinner at this cool restaurant with my aunt when I saw Zac run out of Swiss Chalet. I thought something was up." Kayden said, playing along the role of the fake aunt.
"How bad is your hand?" Maya asked. I was surprised to see it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. His hand was a bit bandaged, but when he removed it, it looked like a small cut.
"Not too bad, just a piece of metal that was laying around. I was just a bit clumsy." Kayden said offering a warm smile.
"Yeah well, I think it sounds too much of a coincidence that 'he' shows up the moment Zac is in trouble. It's almost too convenient." Scott stated. There was defiantly something in his voice. I knew he didn't like Kayden, but he didn't need to be an asshole about it.
"Why are you being such an idiot? He just saved your life, and you don't even thank him?" Maya argued, her voice a bit more angry than I'm use too.
Scott turned to her and mocked her words, "Oh and how exactly does this apply to you? I really didn't ask for your opinion. You're always like this. Butting into things that don't concern you. I mean..."
"EXCUSE ME! But I'm just worried that you guys were hurt. Why don't you just swallow your pride and thank him. Lose some of that ego. You're always being so impossible. Remember when..." Maya was a lot different than I thought she was. I kinda liked her like this, she felt more natural.
I was lost in the argument when I realized Jett wasn't around us anymore. I looked around and caught a glimpse of him walking around the side of the school building.
"You always bring that up. Honestly can you think of any other things besides..." Scott said in a taunting tone. I quietly made an escape while Scott and Maya continued their bickering. No one noticed me slip away, they were all surprised with what was unfolding before them.
I smiled a bit at their childish behavior.
I knew why Jett had walked away. The events of that day were still slowly tormenting him. The fact he couldn't be there probably hurt him more than I previously thought. As I wandered the school grounds, I found him making his way towards the wooded area.
Why would he go there? He doesn't smoke up.
I followed him through the branched maze. The area we were walking through wasn't that big. The other side near the residential area could get pretty big. Some kids even got lost there. I tried to follow Jett and fast as I could. As I continued to walk I realized I wasn't following him anymore. I stopped in my tracks and scanned around. Nothing could be seen but trees, nothing can be heard but nature.
"It'll take you a million years for you to be able to sneak up on me Zac," said a voice behind me.
I turned around and found Jett smiling painfully behind me. I knew what his sister was talking about. At this moment, the strong Jett I knew, looked vulnerable, like a lost boy.
"Follow me," he said.
I did as he asked. We were probably going to miss our first period. I didn't care. This is something Jett and I need to do. Jett led me around the trees. I knew where we were going; a place where we use to hang out as kids to escape the world. It was quite a walk from our school. Even still, I knew that it would be a great place. It was an open area. The long grass was silently moving, and the leaves on the trees brushed against each other. Their sounds echoed in the wind as Jett and I came to a stop.
He turned to me. This time he was emitting a strong force. I felt like he was towering over me. "Listen to me for one second. No interruptions. Okay?" He ordered in a calm yet commanding voice. I just shook my head.
"I need to know where we stand. I am your best friend right?" he asked. Again I responded with a nod. "You're my best friend. I would never hurt you, you know that. But sometimes I feel like you are hiding stuff from me. I have never hidden anything from you. So why do you have to start now? We grew up together, I'm not going to throw away all we went through for anything. Even if you went on a mass murdering spree, I would swear to God you were an angel sent from Heaven." I smiled a bit at the thought. "So you see, nothing -NOTHING- you do or say will make my friendship with you change." Jett looked sadly at the bright blue sky. "I almost lost you. If Kayden didn't show up, things may have been a lot worse. I know those punks didn't just get away. I know it was a knife wound on his hand. The nurses were talking about it. And I know Kayden wasted at least two of the bastards. His fists aren't bruised for no reason." I could almost hear him gritting his teeth, his anger boiling over the people who jumped me.
I might have to tell him the truth.
"Another thing," He turned to me, his face fuming. He slowly walked up to me, and I was sure he was going to deck me for causing so much trouble.
To tell the truth, I probably deserved it. I looked up and he towered over me, and he lifted his arms and I clamped my eyes shut willing to accept the punishment I deserved. It didn't come. Instead I felt a strong set of arms squeeze around me. When I opened my eyes I found him wrapped tightly around me, his head fitting perfectly between my neck and shoulders. I felt him tremble a bit. I lift my arms to hold him. I was to afraid to see if he was crying. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.
"Hey man, I'm still here. I'm not dead, you still have me." I slowly whispered. I felt his body shake uncontrollably, knowing I caused him this pain made me sick to my stomach. I can't believe I made him hurt this much. He deserved to know, but I still can't tell him. Was I scared? Yeah probably so. He might still care for me if I killed people, but would he still want me as a friend if I was gay?
"Don't ever run from me. Please. Fuck man, you scared the hell out of me when I found you collapsed. I thought you died, you fucker. I almost lost my b, best friend." He totally lost it at that moment, "If you do this again I will seriously deck you," he swore.
I smiled and replied, "Yeah, sure. It's a promise."
We stood there for a while until Jett caught himself again. He stood up, with red swollen eyes. This time though he held that giant protective feeling he usually had around him. He was like a big brother.
"So you going to tell me what was up with you that day in the restaurant?" He asked in a calm yet serious voice.
I froze. I knew it would come to this. I still can't tell him, there was too much that I didn't yet understand about myself. I didn't know what to say.
"Jett, I don't think I can tell you, yet." I looked up at him as he held my stared. He wasn't angry. I guess he was going to hear me out. "There's so much I don't know at the moment. It might be too early for me to explain. I don't know how to explain it. Do you think you can give me some time? For me to figure it out. You're right: I had a problem that day. But I need to face it. When I'm ready, I will tell you..." I looked away towards the trees, "Just not now..." I stood quietly waiting for him to respond. After a getting no response I turned my head slightly to see my best friend, my rock, smiling at me.
I knew the bell had definitely already rung. It didn't matter. When was the last time it was just Jett and me? We sat around in the soft grass just recalling the days we spent in the forest.
"You know, I actually took my first girl here. She thought it was boring. I knew she wasn't for me the moment she said that. No one insults my childhood." Jett smiled looking at the trees surrounding us.
"Oh was it that Megan girl? The snobbish one?" I asked disgusted. He nodded as I pretended to spew my guts out.
"She is such a ditz. Honestly what made you date that idiot?"
"Hey, I thought she was a little different. I like a girl with a personality. She was just way too obnoxious and into herself. You saw how she prattled around after she was dating me. It was like I was a boy trophy." He said annoyed. "Never going for that type again."
"And how about the girl you're seeing now?" I asked with interest.
"I don't know. She's kind of distant. She won't hold hands, she doesn't return calls. And all Sunday she was out. I left a message and she totally didn't return it. I don't think its going to happen with this one." He said a bit sad. "It's a shame to I thought she was kind of cute."
"Yeah well if I was her I would be scared to date a man whore too."
I felt his playful yet hurtful punch land on my arm as I laughed my ass off. He just smiled blushing a bit.
"So who's the target now?" I asked.
The red on his face deepened as he gave it some thought. "Well actually, I've been really attracted to Maya for a very long time. But she seems way out of my league. I don't think I have a chance."
This was sort of cool. I could so see them going out. They complimented each other. "Go for it. If you didn't know, you are one of the most wanted guys in our grade."
"Yeah with you being the number one wanted guy in our grade. She wants you man. She's always around you, and inviting you to sit with her. And you keep turning her down, what's with you. You go for it."
"I don't know. I think you look better with her." I complimented.
"So what about you? I've never even seen you go out with a girl. Too scared or are you gay?" he asked in a joked tone.
I let out a fake laugh, sort of offended in the inside. I couldn't tell where he stood. I decided to test him; maybe he could hint it a bit.
"Well what if I was gay?" I asked in a half joked smile.
"Hmm," he seemed to be thinking of the possibility, "Well, I don't think it would matter. You still would be Zac. It's not like you're really a girl or something. You aren't a transsexual are you?" he asked in a curious stare.
I just laughed hard at the thought. At the same time my heart flew out screaming freedom.
He's ok with it. Oh My God. Why did I ever doubt him?
I just smiled with satisfaction up at the sky. I laid back with my hands behind my head staring at some faint clouds. I saw Jett lean over and stare over me.
"Still, it makes me wonder what it's like to kiss another guy."
"W-what?" I asked in confusion. I felt my cheeks flare up again.
"Well, you really can't just let it go without giving it a shot. I'm sure all guys think of it one time or another." He grinned a bit.
I just swallowed hard, "So you want to see what it's like?"
"I wouldn't mind giving it a shot." He replied. His eyes were sort of glittering. They had a hold of me. I couldn't look away. "If I had to do it, I can't think if a better person than my best friend." He gave me a bit of a cocky smile. Something he rarely did. He must have caught it from Scott. I felt my heart beating fast. This was way too unreal. I just lay immobilized and he slowly lowered his head.
"You want to see too right?" He whispered. I could feel his breath. I could hear him breathe. I could feel the heat from his face. I just closed my eyes. I couldn't see but could feel him drawing closer to me. The heat from his face told me he was close. And then I felt it. His lips. Soft as I imagined. I breathed him in, taking all of his scent, as much as I could. It didn't end there. I felt his mouth open as a warm wet object invaded my mouth. I opened my eyes wide in shock. His eyes were closed as his tongue explored my mouth. I didn't know what got into me, but I suddenly I went off into a trance, as my eyes slowly closed. I moved my tongue to meet his. Alone in the wood of our childhood. My best friend and I shared my first real kiss. I realized the one with Kayden was nothing more of a peck.
It was like we both knew time was up. He lifted his head grinning down on me. Both of us we breathing hard. He looked very sexy smiling down on me. I felt like we had just shared the most intimate feeling in the world. His lips began to curve into that cocky smile. I felt sorry for the girl who would melt each time he brought that out.
"Wow" he said.
"Yeah, that was intense." I said slightly embarrassed.
"Now I know what its like," he said a bit proud. His cheeks were a bit red. "But I think I prefer the girls. No offence but it was kind of weird."
I sat up and smacked his arm, "Obviously you idiot, you just kissed your best friend."
He grinned wildly at me and cocked his eyebrow, "So how's it like to have your virgin lips stolen by a whore like me?"
I just sighed, I'm not about to let him win me over. "Well, actually I'm kinda disappointed. You're a horrible kisser."
He grabbed his heart like he was hurt. To say the truth, my heart was going a million beats per minute. It was so intense, so much better than I thought. I was glad too, although I would want to share it with Kayden, doing it was Jett was just as amazing. He's definitely not my type of boyfriend, but he's definitely my best friend. Plus I would choose Kayden over Jett as a boyfriend. I felt like our friendship had reached a new level.
"We cool?" he asked in an innocent tone.
I turned to him and smiled, "Yeah, were cool."
By the time Jett and I got back to school, we had already missed half the period. Regardless, we signed in and went to our respectful classrooms. Both Maya and Kayden gave me worried looks, I just smiled to emphasis nothing was wrong.
The period was pretty much useless. While our teacher preached about something regarding Christianity, I was thinking back to the moments spent with Jett. Besides the kiss, everything we had talked about had to sink into my head. I felt bad as a friend, because I couldn't trust Jett like I should have. I decided to be more honest to myself, and to my friends. One thing that needed to be cleared up soon, was my sexual orientation. Jett, I knew, wasn't an issue anymore. Shin had mentioned once or twice about gay rights or something like that. His cousin was openly gay and Shin supported him all the way. He still laughed imagining what his cousin would be doing with another guy. Shin would buckle his knees and hold them for support while he laughed his ass off. He found it amusing and at the same time hilarious. I don't see why a gay relationship would make him laugh so hard, but then again Shin has the mentality of a six year old at times. I recalled hearing about Shin's uncontrollable outburst during sex-ed in grade 9. It had been such an issue because students who were with him also began to laugh. The teacher found it almost impossible to contain him. I'm sure he would be supportive.
My only concern was Scott. He had
made it clear to me from that day in
English was a blur. A slow blur. Not once did I turn to Kayden. I kept my eyes glued on the clock. Each second felt like a minute. The passing moments suddenly felt too fast as I walked towards the cafeteria.
I can't do this! I thought to myself, NO! It has to be done. One way or another I'll have to come out. I need to reach out to Scott.
I scanned the lunch room and focused my eyes on a medium height boy. His face was stuffed with cheese curds and gravy. His brown hair contrasted with blond highlights waved in the air as he rocked his head to some music he was listening to. It was the disc man I bought him a few years ago on his birthday. I'm surprised he still has it. I slowly approached the two-seated table. He suddenly looked up and smiled that mischievous smile. He wasn't even thinking of doing something bad, it was just his way of smiling. It always looked like he was planning something.
I walked the rest of the way to Scott and sat down returning the smile. He returned to his food. I stared at him as he consumed his lunch. Moments passed. If anyone was paying attention to us, it would have looked like I was checking him out. Scott was fairly good looking. In fact, some girls would say he was quite hot. Some people were turned off by his cocky attitude and his immaturity. Yet I knew that ninety-nine percent of the girls who looked down on his overconfidence and sense of mischief, actually wanted him. No matter what those girls said, they wanted him, but they didn't want their friends to know. Scott did give the skater boy impression. It must have been why so many girls didn't hang around him. They were too stuck up with their fake faced friends and their own popularity groups to ever socialize with him. They didn't want to get involved with some white-trash skater boy. That was too bad for them because Scott was everything but that. No only was he very bright in subjects other than writing, but Scott was a great friend, and someone I could always depend on. His straightforwardness and blunt words sometimes held truer than my wishful thinking. He liked to see the whole picture of things. He was honest with who he was, and wasn't afraid to show it. So much about him I knew, and so much I wanted to share.
Scott finally looked away from his finished food.
"What are you looking at?" He asked grinning. He knew I was looking at him.
"I was just thinking how I should thank you." I replied with my face rested on the palm of my hand. "Or did you forget you saved me?"
"Like I said man, it was nothing. I'm just embarrassed I was in my weakened state. Those bastards would have had another thing coming if I was at my prime."
"Sure there buddy," I said in a sarcastic tone.
"It's true. I could have." He was somewhat pouting.
This is it. Now see if you can draw him in.
"Yeah overall I think it was a great day. Besides the alley part, I had a great time." I told him.
He took a swig of his pop, and turned to me, "Yeah it was cool. Except when that bellboy fag tried to hit on us." He said bluntly. It was as if that word was commonly used in his vocabulary. I was a bit angry, but I had him where I wanted.
"He was a nice guy. And he didn't try to hit on us. He was just being friendly." I replied.
He seemed a bit angry himself, "How couldn't you see it? He was clearly a cocksucker faggot. Those people are disgusting. How can..."
"Scott. Don't use words like that. They're people too. What made you hate them so much? This isn't like you, man," I said returning words of sadness.
"I don't know. I just hate those people. It doesn't make sense to me. How can two guys...you know, fuck each other. It's not right. It's not meant to be." He stated a bit more on the calm side.
"Yeah, but it's their lifestyle right? I mean it's not like you're gonna be watching them... screw. Sure maybe a few who aren't shy are gonna wonder if you're interested in them or not, but...I just don't want you to become a basher you know? You're better than that. When you say those words man, you say it with disgust and anger."
"But it's fuckin' wrong!"
"Let me finish. I know you mean it in a joking way when you play pranks and stuff. But what if later on your anger for becomes more direct. You know how much I hate bullies, and you know how much I can't stand people ganging up on other people. I just don't want to see you become that. Because I won't stand for it." My eyes told him I wasn't lying. I wasn't either. I wasn't going to let my friend be a basher.
Scott looked at me seriously as well, "I wasn't going to beat up on gay people. I don't understand it, and I don't like it, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna kill them. I may say some crude things, but that's as far as that will go."
"It's those crude things that bother me. You're lucky no one heard you say those words. What if someone overheard you and is gay, how would that make them feel? They already have to deal with hiding who they are, now they gotta worry that someone like you is going to hunt them out. Those words hurt man. You don't have to understand it, just respect them."
"Why are you so uptight about what happens to them? Why do you care what happens to them?" He asked. His face wore a mask of wonder and at the same time hardness.
"If I don't who will? Think about how many of them are out there. They don't know who is or who isn't. They live their life in fear. That's not right."
"Well, I won't attack them. I might look down on someone who is gay, but I won't say anything to their face. But I still don't approve of it."
"You don't have too. Just respect them."
He looked at me and grinned, "You always were the one to look out for anyone who was in trouble. Remember Brad Canning?"
How could I forget? It was the first time I got suspended. A fight that involved a kid being picked on by five kids the same age as him. I was only in grade 7, they were all in grade 8. I somewhat dragged Jett, Scott and Shin into the fight and had an all out brawl. We won of course. Our prize was a 3 day suspension and a boost in pride. It was a shame though, Brad moved away after the incident. He kept the bullying to himself and when it finally came to light, his parents thought it was better to them move.
"Yeah, I hope the little guy is doing alright where he is. He deserves all the best."
"True. Perhaps he'll come by one time and actually thank us for taking those hits for him. Talk about cold. He just packed up and left. Is that what you gain from sticking up for people?"
"I feel better about myself each day. It's better than just watching it happen and doing nothing. Plus it increased the popularity point right?" I joked.
"For you maybe. The three of us were just branded as you underlings or lackeys." He grinned.
"You know you guys are more than that." I said in a serious tone.
"I know. Just jostling with ya. Let get going, bell's about to ring."
Overall, I had to say the day was going great. I had finally fixed things up with Jett. I had a personal talk with Scott and sorted out some issues. Shin wasn't really a concern. I knew he would be supportive of me. I was happy when I finally came to my final class of the day. Phys-ed with Jett and Kayden.
When I walked in I saw Jett openly speaking with Kayden. Both seem to be in good moods. Jett was laughing while Kayden talked about something. He was holding back from laughter as well. Kayden's smile was grand. I loved it the way his smiles make me weak. I had a hard time walking straight but made my best effort.
Several other guys approached me with greeting and mindless idle chatter, but I slowly made my way to my destination.
"Yo, Jett, Kade!" I called out. They both turned to me and smiled. What a sight. My best friend and the boy of my dreams. Both were real good looking. Jett was only a brother though. Although we shared a kiss, it was nothing more to him or me. I knew and understood that. I didn't regret it. Kayden. Wow. He was everything I ever wanted in a guy. His past might be a bit haunting, but I want to be there with him. I had the feeling he had something for me, as much as I had something for him. We haven't talked about that embarrassing moment when I realized he kissed me. I wanted to make my move soon. Maybe claim my man. It felt good to think like that.
We started off with a few warm up laps around the gym. Jett took off easily taking the lead. I held back for a reason. I was a faster runner than Jett, and he always seem to be in a competing mood. It was a side of him I didn't seem much of. As much as he liked to hide it, he was really competitive. He showed that side best when he was playing hockey.
I stayed behind knowing Kayden would be right beside me. We went at a decent pace while other runners fell behind us. I spoke without turning to him, "Come over today?"
"Sure." We continued to run. My face was a bit red, perhaps wondering what might develop. Kayden just wore a wild grin. I was glad we had these long t-shirts. They hid your state quite well. I wanted to kick him for making me feel like this out in public. It's not like he meant to, but still. It made running a lot harder. No pun intended.
"So, uh... do you want something to drink, or something?" I asked nervously.
Kayden replied in an equally nervous tone, "Umm. No thanks. Or yeah. Uh can I have water?"
"W-water? Sure, I'll be right back." I stuttered.
I made my way to the kitchen. I stared at the sink for a couple of minute trying to calm my senses. I had to calm down a bit. I poured a glass of water from the purified tap. I was being too nervous. I ran my hands under warm water and splashed some on my face. I stared out the window from the sink. The rows of different flowers were fully bloomed on a glass rack stared at me. It was if they were cheering for me, telling me to make my move.
I don't understand why I was so nervous. I know he has feelings for me. That's what that kiss meant right? What if he was just acting like Jett, wanting to try it out. What if he didn't like it? NO he wouldn't be here if it meant that. He wouldn't be as nervous as you. You're both in the same boat, this is something new for us.
I took the glass of water and gulped it down in one motion. Damn this was suppose to be for Kayden, I thought to myself. I just stood frowning at the cup.
Shit! Grab a hold of yourself you stupid idiot. Remain calm. He likes you too. Right? Or maybe he doesn't. He didn't return the kiss. You just took it.
"Dammit! I can't tell whether he was angry, shocked, or both" I whispered in frustration.
I was left alone in Zac's living room staring and everything but seeing nothing. I had to calm down. Remember what Rick said. Find that void in yourself and jump inside of it. From there work your way out. In a state of peacefulness you can overcome great obstacles.
I closed my eyes, trying to picture the void. I imagined my surroundings disappearing one by one until I was left in total darkness. I eased my breath until I could hear my heart beat. I opened my mind to calming thoughts. I imagined the wind blowing in an open field of green. The warm sun hanging lazily over the grassland. A simple rock in the middle of nowhere. I could feel the warm rays, feel the calm wind. Every thing was visible. The grass, the sun, Zac's smile...Zac's smile? What the hell?
I stumbled out of the void in annoyance. My face was burning and I could feel my heart beating faster than I ever knew was possible. Void my ass. Shit, I'm even more nervous. What am I doing here?
I paced around the room trying to disperse the heat from my face. When I saw it was doing nothing, I literally jumped up and down in frustration.
Why does he make me feel this way? Arrgh! I want him so bad. He's so great. I love his honesty, and his kindness. His body is perfect. Not too tall, but not short either. His wavy brown hair, those glowing brown-golden eyes, his warm voice, and soft eyes... So much of him made me want to scream.
I realized I was blushing again and began to pace around the room until I grew tired. I suddenly realized I have been pacing around for more than five minutes. Zac still didn't return. I wondered if everything was alright. I made my way to the kitchen silencing my footsteps.
It was like I discovered the lost ark. Zac stood staring at some flowers in front of him. He gently reached out and touched the petal of a red blooming orchid. The sun created a gentle glow surrounding him. He was bathed in light as he gently caressed the piece of nature between his soft fingers. I knew he was smiling. The empty glass of water told me he had used it for himself. Before I knew what was happening, I had already let go. With ease and stealth, I walked towards him. No longer feeling scared or nervous, just knowing what I wanted and what I had to do.
I stared blankly outside. The sun was shining down on me. Suddenly I felt peace. It was like I fell into emptiness within my heart. Any sense of nervousness or anxiety I felt was replaced by calming thoughts. I breathed in a clear breath, closing my eyes to embrace the calmness.
I felt something creep up behind me as it gently wrapped around my waist. I could feel a warm body pressed against mine. Something nuzzling at my neck. Air or someone's breath. I knew who it was. I closed my eyes and I let Kayden breathe me in. I slowly brought my hands up and closed it over his own at my stomach. A warm, painful, yet at the same time sensual feeling attacked the nape of my neck. It was wet. I melted in his arms as he lifted his head to rest his head on my shoulder. I turned my head slightly, facing him. His eyes were blue, crystal clear, and moistened. They stared into my own eyes. As I inched my face closer to him I closed my eyes, and I felt his mouth over mine. A million emotions erupted at that instant. I breathed in all I could of him. I could smell his shampoo, his soap, breathing deeply of his scent. Our lips locked while we explored each other. His arms gripped me tightly but with gentleness. I tasted Kayden for the first time, and he was amazing. His tasted danced in my mouth. The kiss from Jett was nothing compared to this. I could feel Kayden's lust for me. Everything I received from him was more than I expected. His smell, his taste, the feeling of his arms around me were too much. I was in overdrive, my feelings overtook reason. I spun around as he released his arms from me. I grabbed his right hand as our mouths continued to battle. We moved with haste and swiftness as I pinned him against the kitchen wall. I held his right hand on the wall above his head as I pulled him close to me with my other arm. I broke our kiss as I made my way to his neck.
At first I felt him shudder. It was quickly replaced with a pleasurable moan. I lifted my head to his ear. Allowing time for us to recover.
I slowly whispered in a breathless voice, "I never felt this way before. You make me feel right. I need you."
His voice echoed in my ear, "I need you too. I think I love you."
"I know I love you," I replied with a smile. I rested my head on his shoulders, his body still pinned between the wall and me.
"I think I found the answer Rick." He whispered at a quiet tone. I heard him barely, perhaps words not intended for my ears.
I pulled back and looked at the boy I love. His eyes were glistening, as he let the tears fall freely from his face.
He looked at me with a sad but happy smile, "The reason why these things happen. I understand it now, everything, all that I went through. It was to lead me here, to you." He gently let out a few tears of sadness as I pulled him close to me. His face buried into my chest.
My heart cried out hymns of happiness. The boy who had captured my heart was being held in my arms. It didn't matter that Kayden ran away. It didn't matter Kayden hid his past. Nothing mattered. This boy struggled for a long time, when was the last time he was able to let everything go. Rick was there for him, and now I was here for Kayden.
END OF CHAPTER 6
Heeeeeey!!! Welcome to the Ryan Keith Corner^^ This might be a new thing. Once in a while I might have a piece of poetry or something cool to post up. This one is a very cool poem from a special person^^. I wanted to share, and considering Valentine's Day was a few weeks ago, I think it fits the occasion^^. Enjoy, let me know what you think^^.
Do you remember?
Those words I swore my life to.
We knew so little, but it didn't matter.
The feeling were heartfelt, our words were honest.
No matter what happens,
The two hands will never part.
Everything fades into memories,
But this will last forever.
You gave life meaning,
I discovered a world I never knew.
I felt every emotion,
Love and hate; a line so finely drawn.
You've put me though so much,
And we found ourselves changing,
If I could have it any other way,
I would go through it again just to find you.
When I see you, I see everything,
Hopes, dreams, a future.
You do so much with just your smile; smile for me.
I could live for a thousand years and find no other.
At times I feel weak,
But you give me strength.
This world is harsh,
But you are my comfort.
I dream about you,
You find me in my sleep.
Everywhere I go,
I find your love waiting for me.
Your broad back protects me,
Hold me tight; I feel complete.
I offer you this;
The requiem of love,
Tomorrow will bring a new day,
And tonight, it's only you and me.
I offer my love to no other.
You have the best of me.
You are forever a jewel in my heart.
END OF CHAPTER 6
Here you guys go^^ A sort of late valentine's gift from me to you. I hope you all enjoyed this latest installment^^ Keep them E-mail's coming. I write to read your e-mails^^ It's the most satisfying part of writing^^ Hehe. I answer all e-mails, if I haven't then I am truly sorry. For some people, I can't reply, and my message is returned to me. If you are one of these people, then I am truly sorry, I did get your mail, and I really appreciate it. If you can send again, I'll try to reply again. E-mail is Ryan_Kayden@yahoo.ca Anyways, this chap was fun to write, next one might take a while, sorry. I have midterms coming up and I gotta focus. Special thanks to two special people who help make this chap possible with their kick-ass editing^^ Booyeah to both Drake and Dewey, both who are very, very talented writers^ Check em out, they are great^^
Anyways, latez to everyone, and hope to send you the next installment, as soon as I can^^
Copyright 2003 Ryan Keith