Date: Mon, 28 May 2001 00:02:18 EDT
From: Tjw6195@aol.com
Subject: Kelly's Problem -- Kelly

Kelly's Problem--Kelly

Preamble:

This is a story based on real people in a situation which they were never
in (Though I wish that they had ;)).  The names have been changed to
protect the innocent and not so innocent.  This is purely a fantasy of the
author and is not meant to be taken as fact.

Also, please note that the sex that occurs in this and succeeding parts is
unprotected sex, which while understandable in the early '80s before the
scourge of AIDS was fully understood was still dangerous because of the
possibility of other sexually transmitted diseases.  The characters in the
story can only catch what I allow them to, even if it's a case of the
pimples that are the bane of teenage life.

My thanks to those who have written me with words of encouragement and
asking for more of the series.  I have bounced ideas off of several of you
and appreciate the help.

Now on with the story.

Introduction

When I got to the point where something might start happening between the
two young men, I had the idea to try and tell the story of what's going on
from the point of view of Kelly in a few brief paragraphs.  We really
haven't heard what Kelly is feeling as this relationship develops, other
than brief peeks in parts 2 and 4.  However, during one of my frequent
breaks from writing, I was re-reading Comicality's New Kid In School, the
part dealing with Ryan's view of how he and Randy got together along with a
little bit about his background.  It hit me that instead of just limiting
Kelly to just a few paragraphs in the middle of a chapter, why not give
Kelly his own chapter to tell his side of things.

This then is Kelly's story told from his point of view.

The Story

As I stood watching John test the water for our shower, I thought about how
I'd gotten to this point.  I guess that it all started with Tim.

We have known each other since third grade and been the best of friends for
almost as long.  Oh, we had our share of disagreements as friends often
will; but they were minor and soon smoothed over.  We slept over at each
other's house several times and it was not unusual for our parents to
comment that they thought that we were fraternal twins separated at birth,
so much were we in each other's company.  I felt for Tim like no one else
until John.  He was my "brother," whom I could tell anything to and do
almost anything with.

It was in the seventh grade that I began to realize that I liked boys
rather than girls.  Girls just didn't do anything for me.  In particular,
there was one boy who I liked more than any other: Tim.  The feelings I had
for Tim began to have a name I could put to it, love.

The problem that I had was how to bring up my feelings for Tim without
risking the strong friendship I had with him.  The opportunity popped up
when we got into a discussion of cock size that evolved into a "you show me
yours and I'll show you mine" that turned into a jack-off session.  I tried
to talk him into letting me jack him off, but he said that that was
something only queers did.  Tears started to well up in my eyes as I turned
away.

Tim asked, "What's the matter, Kel?"

"Nothing," was my reply. I started stroking my cock.  But Tim refused to
let it slide.

"Come on, Kel.  Really, what's the matter?  I know you well enough by now
to know when something is bothering you."

"I told you nothing."  I was getting desperate.  It was clear to me, a
seventh grader who knew the world so well, that I was going to lose Tim.  I
didn't want that to happen in the worst way.

"Kel, please tell me what's wrong.  You shouldn't be getting that upset
over not being able to give me a hand job."

I continued to look away from Tim and said, "If I tell you, you'll hate
me."

"How could what you tell me make me hate my best friend in all the world.
Nothing could be that bad."

I turned back and looked him in the eye.  "Tim, I, uh, oh shit, I think I'm
gay.  There, are you happy now?  You've got a fag for a former friend.
I'll understand if you leave now and never want to see me again."

Tim's reply surprised me.  He put an arm around my shoulder.  "So.  What's
the big deal?  You like guys.  That just leaves more girls for me to choose
from.  It means that I won't have to compete with my best friend for any
girl that I want to date.  That's all.  The only thing that I ask, is that
you don't try making it with me.  Heck, if you want, I'll even help you
look for cute guys."  He laughed at his last comment.

My eyes got wide as I realized what he had said.  I wouldn't loose my best
friend over this after all.  "Tim, thanks.  If you only knew what this
means to me.  Just do me a favor.  Let this be our secret.  If it ever got
out ..." I left the rest unsaid.

Tim agreed.  "I won't tell anyone without talking to you first."

The next few years went by quietly.  I tried out for the basketball team in
eighth grade and was good enough to make the squad.  Tim jokingly accused
me of trying out just to be able to scout out the cute guys in the shower.
(It was no joke that I would get half hard in the shower and have to turn
away to hide it from the other guys.)

I think that it surprised both Tim and I that I was pretty good at
basketball.  I mean we played one-on-one against each other, but it was
never lopsided nor did either guy win an overwhelming amount of the time.
I ended up as the starting point guard almost from the beginning.

My starting position made me a target from the beginning of the girls who
saw an opportunity to latch on to the up and coming stud athlete.  I was
able to fend off most of them, but decided to that I had better date a few
to keep up appearances.  Several of the girls tried to make out with me on
a date, but I was able to keep it down to some light kissing and an
occasional feel.  The girls I dated went the whole range.  There was Gwen,
who I dated for a month, who was slowly trying to work her way into my
pants.  Had it not been for Tim, who saw what she was doing, it might have
gotten to the point where it might have ended in a very nasty breakup
instead of the relatively easy breakup that occurred.

Then there was Sally, who I dated most of my freshman year.  She realized
we were not going anywhere but still wanted to remain friends.  In fact,
she ended up going out with Tim at least once that I know of.

And then there was Linda the bitch.  She not only wanted to have sex with
me, but she wanted to do it on the first date.  She believed that she was
God's gift to guys.  Even had I been attracted to girls, I wouldn't have
done it with her.  She was too aggressive by far.  It was very easy to dump
her.  We definitely did not remain friends.

On the other hand, my friendship with Tim continued to grow.  In fact,
although he would probably deny it, Tim acted like my protector of sorts.
He kept his ears opens in case anyone suspected that I was gay.  It was
kind of him to do it, and I did appreciate it.  We double dated several
times, including the disastrous date with Linda.  We did guy things
together and enjoyed every moment.

When we graduated to the High School, I made the freshman basketball team
without any problems.  What surprised me about the tryouts is that Tim
decided to try for the team.  Unfortunately for Tim, he didn't make the
team.  But when he didn't, he went to the freshman coach and volunteered to
become the student manager.  I'm not really sure why he originally did it,
but by the end of the season, Tim was thoroughly enjoying himself.

At the same time, I wasn't enjoying myself as much as I could have.  Don't
get me wrong, I still enjoyed myself on the basketball court.  It was off
the court that life was not going as well.  I was in constant fear of being
found out.  I began to get hard in the showers after practice and games.
Several of the guys would notice and start cracking jokes about it.  I
usually put the best possible face on it, but it still bothered me.  Tim
and I would talk about it, but it still didn't help.  Finally I hit on a
partial solution.  I decided that I would be the last one into the shower
and the last one to get dressed after practice.

Tim argued that this would just increase suspicion as to what I was doing.

I argued that in the immediate aftermath of the date with Linda, it
couldn't get any worse.  Damn it, I reminded him, the girl practically
tried to rape me in the movie theater, grabbing for my crotch, aggressively
trying to kiss me.  While most guys might have welcomed that aggressiveness
as a prelude to some hot sex, I was not so easy.  Even if I were straight,
that type of behavior would have repulsed me.  After I told her that I
never wanted to see her again, she told me that I was not a man.  That a
man would have had sex with her because all men wanted sex.  I told her
that I was not was to just throw myself at a girl to have meaningless sex.
I said that sex was something very special to me and not to be had so
casually.  She had slapped my face and called me worthless as a man.  If
you hadn't dated Sally, she screamed, I'd think you were a fag.

Tim conceded my point but still didn't think it was a smart idea. "What do
I tell the rest of the guys on the team when they ask why you're always
late to the showers?"

"Just tell them I'm working on my game.  Tell them that I want to be better
so I can help the team win."

"OK.  They might buy that.  But be careful.  I can't always protect you
from some of the rumors that will be going around.  Linda might decide to
take her revenge by screaming to the world that you are a fag.  That must
be avoided at all cost, someone might just believe her.  You know that
don't you?"

"Yes," I replied.  "I know it.  But as long as we can point to a pattern to
defend against such a charge, we'll be fine."

"Fine.  Now all we've got to do is find you a boyfriend, so I can get a
girl without having to worry about you."

I laughed.  "You mean you haven't found me one yet?  Gee, I would have
thought that would have been easy."

"Yea. Well, not every guy advertises that he's gay and available to be a
boyfriend."

"Don't worry, Tim.  One will turn up sooner or later."

The teasing by my teammates was diminished.  My folks picked up the slack
for a while, asking when I was going to start dating.  I told them that
Linda had turned me off to dating and they seemed to accept that I would
date in my own good time.  My little brother, Joey, began to date when he
was 13; so at least one Langer was actively pursuing the "fairer" sex.

When I became a sophomore, I took my driver's test and was given an old
1972 Chevy Nova to fix up and drive in recognition of the event.  So now I
had a car.  I think that my parents thought that it would help me find a
girl friend.  It didn't quite work out that way.

As a sophomore, I graduated to the JV squad.  I was the starter from the
beginning.  Not that that had any effect on our win-loss record.  We still
lost more than we won.  I was having a good year; scoring in double figures
and dishing out plenty of assists.  Unfortunately the varsity was having as
good a year as the JV, losing more than they were winning.  There were
rumors that some of the JV squad might be called up later in the year to
gain experience.  I didn't think that I would get called up, even if the
rumor was true.

Then it happened.  One night, the JV had the early practice and the varsity
had the late practice.  You see, because we had only two gyms and five
teams (3 boys and two girls teams) we had to divide into early and late
practices in each gym.  The JV and Freshmen boys teams practiced at the
same time, each taking half the gym.

Normally, I was out of the showers and on the way to the car before the
varsity started practicing.  That night Tim had to stay a little later and
needed a ride home.  So I went up into the stands to watch the varsity
practice for a while.  Now you may think it odd, but I'd never really paid
much attention to the varsity practices before.  Oh, I knew the players on
the varsity, and had even partied with them on occasion.  I just had never
noticed one person in particular before: John Wilkerson, the varsity team
manager.

Something clicked inside my head.  Stars seemed to appear before my eyes.
Every time I looked at John, my heart did a flip.  Had I found the one I
had sent the last four years looking for?  No, it couldn't be.  I mean, I
had seen John around school before, walking around on his crutches, talking
and joking with his friends.  Nothing had happened on those other
occasions!  I had to talk to Tim, immediately!  I got down out of the
stands and went looking for him.  I found him in the locker room, getting
ready to leave.

"Oh, good.  I don't have to go looking for you."

"Tim, I've got to talk to you.  Now."

Tim put his backpack on the bench and sat down.  "What's up, Kelly?  Is
something wrong?"

"I think ... No.  Let me put it this way."  I was stumbling for a way to
tell Tim.  Tim had an anxious look on his face as I tried again, "What do
you know about John Wilkerson?"

Tim got a weird look on his face as if to wonder where this was going.
"Let's see.  He's a junior.  He's the varsity team manager.  I've worked
with him on occasion, taking inventory before and after the season; working
the bench for some of the varsity home games with him.  He seems like a
nice guy.  Why do you want to know?"

"I don't know."  God, how do I do this? "Tim, I think I may have found what
I've been looking for.  I don't know how else to put it." I had kind of a
silly grin on my face.

"What do you mean, Kel?  You mean John Wilkerson?  Are you sure? You've
seen John lots of times.  Why all of the sudden this attraction?"

"I don't really know, Tim.  I just know that he's the one.  And I've got to
talk to him."  I was getting more excited by the prospect than I would have
thought possible.

"Whoa, boy!  Slow down a bit.  After keeping that secret for so long, are
you willing to risk it all on a chance that your 'dream guy' might feel the
way that you do?  Do you even know if he's gay?  Or bisexual?  Hell, he
might even be a gay basher for all either of us know.  So take it easy.
Rein in those hormones for a while.  Let me poke around a little.  You
know, talk to John, get to know him a little bit better.  We're already
friends, so if I start asking some subtle questions it might go over easier
than if all of the sudden you tried getting buddy-buddy with him."

I hung my head and looked at my feet.  "Ok, Tim.  Whatever you say.  I'll
bow to your wisdom in this.  But this doesn't mean that I want to wait too
long before I take action my self.  If there's such a thing as love at
first sight or something like it, I just got hit by it.  Understand?"

Tim nodded, and said, "OK, Kelly.  Just give me some time."

I really wanted to give him that time.  I was scared that John wouldn't
like me.  Or worse yet, not only wouldn't he like me but that he would
trumpet it all over the place that I was gay.  But fate intervened.  About
two weeks after my conversation with Tim, Fred Jackson, the starting point
guard on the varsity squad, went down with a broken ankle.  The JV coach
and varsity coach called me into the coaches' office.  They told me I was
being promoted to the varsity team to fill Fred's spot on the roster.
After that, the JV coach left.  The varsity coach asked me if I would stay
for a couple of seconds.

"Sure, Coach.  What's up?"

"Well, son, here's the deal.  I've been watching you for a while, and I was
going to be bring you up for some spot action later in the season.  Now, I
changed my mind.  You see, I don't think that Tony Dickerson is good enough
to start over the long haul.  He's good off the bench for several minutes
at a time, but can't really eat up a lot of minutes.  If you do well in
practice and in the couple of games before then, I'm thinking of starting
you for the Monroe game.  But this must be kept between you and I.  Word
cannot leak out about this otherwise it might split the team."

"OK, Coach.  Whatever you say.  I'm just not sure I'm ready."

"Believe me, Kelly.  You're ready or I wouldn't be thinking about doing
this.  Now go get dressed and I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."  I left the
office feeling weird.  I don't have any idea what's going on but fate is
dealing me a heck of a hand.  I'm going to be seeing and talking to John
before I had thought I would.  I had to tell Tim.

I found him waiting for me in the locker room.  "Hey, Tim!  Guess what?"

"Let me guess!  You're going to be playing on the varsity the rest of the
year."

"How did you know?"

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess that was why both coaches
wanted to talk with you today after practice."

"I suppose not.  This is going to make it harder though.  Being closer to
John is both better and worse.  Tim, I'm scared."

"Don't worry, Kel.  Everything will work out."

"Alright Tim.  Whatever you say.  Let's go."

The next day I showed up early for the varsity practice as I usually did
for the JV practice.  John was waiting for me.

"Hi, Kelly.  I'm John Wilkerson, the varsity manager.  I here you're
joining the varsity team starting today.  Just let me know if you need
anything and I'll see if I can get it for you."  He held out his hand.

Let's see, what do I need?  How about a guy about 5'5", dark hair, blue
eyes and a smile to die for?  Instead, I said, "Nice to meet you, John.  I
don't need anything now, but I'll let you know if I do.  Thanks."  I took
his hand and shook it.

The next week went smoothly, although I was getting some looks when I
continued my practice of being the last one in the showers.  Tim told me
that John had asked him if I had done the same thing during JV practice.
He said that he had told John that I had and that he was not sure why I did
it.  Perhaps I was shy?

Then it happened.  It was a Monday night, and Coach had held me back to
talk to me about Monroe.  He told me that there was a good possibility I
would start, but to keep it quiet until he could tell the whole team.  I
told him I would keep it quiet and went to the locker room as usual.  I got
a towel from John, and walked into the shower. As I was sudsing up, I heard
John yell, "Hey Kelly, I got a question for you."

"Yes?  What is it?"

"Have you got the car tonight?"

"Uh, yes I do.  Why?"

"Well, my folks called and asked if I could get a ride from one of the
players.  Something had come up and they wouldn't be able to pick me up for
another hour or so.  Since you're the only player still around, I thought
I'd ask."

I hesitated for a few seconds, nervous.  Was this it?  Had he heard
something?  If so, why did he want to talk to me alone?  Did he want to
blackmail me?  What did he want that I had?  I answered, "Yeh, sure. I'll
give you a ride home."

"Thanks. I appreciate it. I'll wait for you by the laundry room.  Just
bring your stuff to me there and I'll get the laundry started before we
go."

"OK."

I heard him leave.  I finished showering, dried off and got dressed.  I
went to the laundry room and found him waiting there like he had said he
would.  I tossed him my stuff and asked, "Ready to go?"

"Sure.  Where are you parked?"

I told him I was parked out back and told him that I'd go get the car.

"You don't need to, I can walk that far.  Believe me," John said grabbing
my shoulder to keep me from leaving.  "It's not that difficult.  Even on
crutches."

"You sure?  It's no trouble, really."

"I'm positive.  Now, where are you parked?"  I pointed to my Chevy Nova and
we started walking towards it.  I was unsure of what to do.  I was so close
to him now.  I wanted to touch so badly but I was afraid of his reaction.

When we got to the car, I opened my door first then leaned across and
unlocked the passenger side door.  He tossed his crutches and backpack into
the back seat and then got in himself.  I started up the car and asked him
where he lived.

He replied that he lived over on Sunset Valley Drive.  He then asked,
"Kelly, how's it going?  Are you glad you moved up to the varsity?"

"Yes, I am; although I would rather have gotten there on my own.  I feel
bad that I had to get there because Fred broke his ankle.  I seem to be
getting the hang of things.  Coach has made sure that I know the plays so
that if I have to run the team during the game, I know what I'm doing.  The
guys have been helpful, making sure I don't screw up too badly."

"Yeh. I notice that you haven't been doing do badly.  Heck, who knows?
Maybe, by the end of the season, you could be the starter."  Had Coach told
him?  I'm going to have to be careful about this.

"You think so?"  I asked, trying to keep a straight face in case he didn't
know.

"Yes, I do.  Tony is good coming off the bench, but he's not the guy to run
the team over the long hall.  And, deep down, he knows it.  He stays on the
team basically to stay in shape for the baseball season.  That and the fact
he does love basketball.  Just don't tell him what I said, okay.

"The time you're spending with Coach after practice should help as well.  I
mean, that is what you are doing after practice, isn't it?"

"Ah, yes and no."

"Well, which is it?" he asked.  Alright, this was definitely not going
where I thought that it was going to go.  I decided to play it by ear and
answer him truthfully when I could.

"Listen, I ... ah ... don't really want to ... ah ... talk about
it, okay."

"Are you sure?  If there's a problem, maybe I could help.  I promise I
won't say anything to the rest of the guys, if that's what you're worried
about."

"I SAID NO!  I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" I shouted.  I was getting
nervous about this conversation.  I decided to pull over to the shoulder of
the road.

"OK.  OK.  Calm down.  If you don't want to talk about it, you don't want
to talk about it."

"Ah, shit," I muttered.  I pulled off to the shoulder of the road.
"Listen, you've got to promise me that you won't say anything to any of the
guys.  If they found out what I'm going to tell you, my life might as well
be over."

The look on his face was one of worry.  He looked like he wasn't sure he
wanted to know what was bothering me.  "You don't have to tell me if you
don't want to, Kelly.  Really, it's not important."

"Just listen, alright?  I've got to tell someone.  It's killing me not to."
Tears had welled up in my eyes.  I'm felt like I was about to loose it.
"You asked why I was late getting to the showers every day after practice.
Well, I'll tell you."

"Tim had said that he thought you were just shy about showering with the
guys.  If that's it, it is no big deal.  Some guys are just shy about that
sort of thing," John said.

"Just let me finish, please?"

"OK."

"Tim was partially right.  I am shy about showering with the guys.  But
more because of what might happen in the shower than anything else."

"What do you mean?"  John asked.

The tears began to fall from my eyes.  I was falling apart.  "Well, ...
ah ... you see I get hard in the shower with other guys. I can't help
it."

"So what, it happens."  Then he got a look, as if a light bulb had gone off
in his head.  "Kelly," He asked quietly, "Are you gay?"  With that, the
floodgates opened, I started to cry.

"Yes!  I'm gay!" I sobbed.  "There!  Are you happy now?  You've got a fag
on the team!" What he said next threw me.

He leaned over and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.  "Kelly, Kelly.
Calm down.  Did you think you were the only gay boy in school?  We may not
be very numerous, but we do exist."

I stopped crying suddenly.  "What do you mean 'we'?"  My head tilted
slightly as I looked at John.  "John, are you gay too?"

He looked like a very frightened child at that moment as if he had gone too
far himself.  "Ah, yeh.  Listen, Kelly, I don't want this to get out
either.  If this gets out, Coach could can me quicker than you say 'Go,
Medford!' But yes, I am gay."

OH, MY GOD!  The feeling of joy that coursed through my veins was
overwhelming.  My dream boy was gay!  I stared at John's eyes, searching
for something.  I found it!  I leaned over to his seat and kissed him on
the lips.  The look on his face was priceless, both confused and happy at
the same time.

"Kelly!  Slow down, please.  I am gay, and don't take this wrong, but ...
ah ... I need to think here. I like you, sure.  I definitely want you as
a friend.  But I don't know if this is going anywhere."

Damn!  Maybe I'd been wrong after all!  Maybe he didn't like me.  I looked
at the floor of the car.  "I'm sorry, John.  It won't happen again.  I'll
take you home now."

I pulled back on to the road and drove John home.  As he got out of the
car, I handed him his backpack.  He said, "Thanks for the ride.  I'll see
you tomorrow at practice."

"Yeh, see you tomorrow."

Before I could reach over and close the door, John stopped me and said,
"Kelly, if you want to talk some more, see me after practice.  OK?"

"Sure.  Tomorrow."  I drove off and John walked into the house.

I was a bundle of nerves.  Was he or wasn't he?  I was sure he wouldn't
tell anyone because of the possibility of my telling everyone about him out
of a sense of tit for tat.  I couldn't even call Tim and tell him what had
happened.  I barely ate dinner and went to finish up my homework before
going to bed.  I cried myself to sleep that night, worried what the next
day would bring.

The bundle of nerves that had been there the night before carried into the
next day.  I don't remember anything about the school day until practice.
I think that everything went fine, certainly no major problems arose or I
would have heard about it from Tim who had five out of seven classes with
me.

When I walked into the locker room, I heard John and several of the other
varsity players talking.  They were talking about me.  The phrase that
stuck in my mind was John saying, "I've got everything under control."
That pissed me off!  He had me under control!  What bullshit!

I got dressed and went out to practice.  Every time I looked in John's
direction, "I've got everything under control" echoed in my mind and I
became more upset.  I stayed on the court late as usual, but I was
determined to keep myself under control when I saw John in the locker room.
When I saw him there, talking to Tony and Jack, my emotions almost got the
best of me.  The look I shot John would have been lethal.

He saw me and quickly got rid of the others.  "Kelly, could I see you for a
minute!" John shouted.

"If it's to ask for another ride, the answer is no!" I snapped.

"Not necessarily!  I just want to talk you!  Is that alright?"  He shouted
back.

"What's there to talk about?  You said it all before," I replied.  I turned
the shower off, wrapped a towel around my waist and stormed past him.  "You
have me under control already.  Isn't that what you told Tony?  Last night
was just a ruse to try and get me!  Wasn't it?"  I slammed my locker shut.
God, what was happening to me?  My life was suddenly turning to shit.  The
boy I wanted to love was turning against me.  I cried for a second before I
got myself back under control.

I heard John move around before I heard his voice, full of his own emotion.
"I told them I had the situation under control.  Kelly, I had to tell them
something.  They had asked me to find out what was bothering you.  You
seemed distant, never coming into shower until almost everybody was gone.
Tim said that you were just shy.  Maybe it was just me, but I sensed it was
something more.  I had to find out if it was something that I could help
you with.  For Pete's sake, I couldn't very well tell them what we did last
night, could I?"

I sighed.  "No, I suppose not."

"Alright, then.  Could we start this over again, please?  Kelly, would you
mind if I hitched a ride with you again tonight?"

I thought about it for a few seconds.  What was the right thing to do?
Should I take the chance and trust him?  Maybe he was right, he had had to
tell the guys something.  Especially since they apparently had been asking
what my problem was and had asked him to find out for them.  "OK."

It was deathly quiet until we got into the car.  Then John said, "Kelly,
can I say something?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Remember last night when I said that I wanted to think before we went any
further?  Well, I've done some thinking about what happened last night and
I've decided that I definitely want to be friends. And I also am willing to
let this friendship go wherever it ends up going.  If that means more than
simple friendship, so be it.  If not, I'd still like to be your
friend. OK?"

I wasn't sure how to respond.  I loved him, of that I was sure.  Nothing
else could feel the way that I felt about John.  So I shrugged and told him
that if that's what he wanted, fine.

"Great."  He paused for a second. "So, ah, what do you like to do?  Away
from the basketball court, I mean."

"Well, I like to play Atari or Intellivision like Pong or Centipede.  I try
to find time to hang out at the local disco with some of my friends.  I
like to read some fantasy novels when I can afford them. What do you do
when you're not in school?"

"My social life away from school is kind of limited.  I've got an Atari
game at home that I play.  But most of my time is spent reading.  To tell
the truth, the team is pretty much it.  I don't get out much.  Occasionally
I play hoops with some of the guys in the neighborhood, but that's in a
wheelchair.  There's not very much in the way of physical activity such as
dancing that you can do on these.  To go out to Mac's or the movies is
about the extent of social outings I'm involved in. I don't have any close
friends and certainly no girl friends."

"Oh, John. What can I say?"

"Don't say anything.  If there's one thing I can't deal with, it's other
people pitying me.  If there is one thing you should know about me, it is
that I have an independent streak a mile wide.  If I can, I like to do
things myself -- without help.  I've got an independence streak a mile
wide.

"But there's one thing I can't do without someone's help.  It's called
love.  I've found that it is a two-man thing, at least as far as I'm
concerned.  Kelly, I wasn't totally truthful earlier.  I'm not completely
sure, but I think I may be falling for you."

He was falling for me!  Oh, thank you, Lord!  My dreams had come true and
my prayers answered.  My spirit soared.  I pulled off to the side of the
road before I lost my concentration and ended up in an accident.

I reached over towards John, who was looking out the window, and shook his
shoulder.  "John.  John??  Are you OK?"

"Huh?  What?"

"I said, are you OK?  You seemed to space out there for a second."

"Ah, yeh, I'm fine.  Let's get going. I don't want to worry my folks."

"Did you mean what you just said?  About falling for me, I mean," I asked
as I pulled back onto the road.

"Yes, I suppose so.  Why.  Don't want to have a cripple fall for you?"  He
said sarcastically.

I was shocked.  How could he think such a thing?  "John!  That's not it at
all.  Oh, Christ!  If you are all that I think you might be, I don't care
about your defects.  I want what appears to be the caring, funny man I see
during practice and during school.  The man who jokes with people, even at
his own expense.  The man who makes sure that if something is needed,
whether it be encouragement or something material, it is provided.  I want
that man, for a friend, maybe more.  I can't say that your body turns me
on, but hey, I've never seen the whole package." I joked.

I thought I saw a slow blush show on his face, but it could have been the
slight bit of lighting that was in the car.  "Uh, Kelly, I don't know what
to say.  I've never thought of myself that way.  Never really thought
anybody would see me in that way, either.  I suppose that I have been half
afraid of what would happen if I opened up to anybody like this.  I know
some of the problems I've faced because of my physical condition and didn't
want to add the stigma of being gay to it."

"John, do you think it's been any easier for me?  I known I've liked guys
since I had sex ed in seventh grade.  Guys did something for me that girls
just didn't do.  I liked looking at guys in the shower.  Just try
explaining to your friends why you are beginning to get hard in the shower,
especially when you haven't even turned on the water yet.  The taunts that
I heard were enough to make me go as deep into the closet as I could.
Hell, I even went out on a few dates just to get the other guys off my
back.  And if it wasn't my friends making fun of my "problem", it was my
parents, who wondered why their darling son wasn't going on dates like the
other boys his age.  Everything I have done for the past couple of years
has been for appearances' sake.  The most I would do on those dates I did
go on was kiss the girl on the cheek.  When friends would ask for
"details", I would come up with the usual whoppers that other guys told
about getting to first, second and third base with a girl.

The folks were just as bad; wanting to know if I'd done anything that they
needed to be aware of.  I would blush a little every time they asked and
that seemed to do the trick; although it didn't mean what they thought it
did.  I was scared that they would figure out what I was thinking and hate
me for it."

"Kelly, I don't think your folks would hate you.  They might not
understand, but you're still their son.  If they are worried about
grandchildren, they've still got your brother and sister don't they?"

"Yeh, but still ...."

"Kelly, don't worry about it.  You'll let them know when you are ready, not
before."

I sighed.  "OK.  Hopefully, they won't find out until I'm ready."

Nobody said anything until I pulled into the driveway to John's house.
Then an idea hit me.  "Say John, how about I drive you home every night.  I
mean, I'm still going to be the last one in the shower and you're still
going to have to wait for me to get done before you can go."

I was hoping he'd say yes.  I really wanted to have him near me, to be able
to touch him, hold him, even if it's only for the few minutes between the
end of practice and the time I drop him off at his house.

He opened the door and got up on his crutches.  He leaned back in and said,
"If you're sure that it would not be a problem.  I'd love to ride home with
you after practice."

"A problem?  No, it would not be a problem," I replied.  I scooted over
towards him; leaned over and gave John a quick kiss on the cheek.  "See you
tomorrow, then."

Then came his turn to shock me.  Unwilling to break off the kiss, he
reached out with his hands, pulled my head towards him and kissed me right
on the lips!  Oh, my God.  This can't be happening!  His tongue was trying
to gain entrance.  I opened my mouth and his tongue darted in and began
exploring.  My tongue reciprocated his actions and explored his mouth.  We
spent several minutes tongue wrestling before he broke it off.  I don't
suppose it would have looked right if his parents decided to find out what
was taking their son so long to get into the house.

Even though he had broken off the kiss, the look in his eyes said that he
wished he hadn't.  His voice was shaking when he told me that he'd see me
tomorrow.  I told him the same and got back behind the wheel.

As I drove off, I was on cloud nine.  My life had taken a definite turn for
the better.  I had a boyfriend!  And I never wanted to lose him!


Well, there it is.  Kelly's story.  I hope you enjoy reading it as much as
I did writing it.  Part 6 is in the process of being written and I hope to
have it out by the end of the month, depending on when I have the time to
write it.

As always, comments or constructive criticism is welcome.  Flames will
always be ignored.  You can write me at tjw6195@aol.com.  Remember, a
writer always likes to hear what others think.

Tim