concerns teenage gay males who are
involved in sexual situations. If it is illegal for you to read such
or if you do not like to read such stories, please leave now.
This story is copyright 2006 by the author who retains all rights.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
This is my second submission to Nifty. This is a continuation of “Kiel’s Story” which was last posted on 7/24/06. It is not necessary to read “Kiel’s Story” to enjoy this, but it may help you understand where the character relationships started. Any comments or questions are welcome at: email@example.com
A warm thank you goes out to all who’ve written. I appreciate knowing someone is actually reading this stuff. I try to respond to all, including flames, but time is precious in my life, so if I didn’t answer yours, please accept my apology.
by Carl Holiday
Chapter 8 – Mark and the Corsair
We had just completed an incredible orgasmic escapade that will probably never be repeated in either of our lives. As Pilar said in Hemmingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls, the Earth can only move three times in any person’s life and for some it never moves. I’d have sworn the Earth moved for me when I had my second orgasm. I don’t know if it moved for Mark, but my dick was buried deep inside him and I couldn’t believe my orgasm would not stop. I must have shot ten loads into him before my body ever thought of slowing down.
And, Mark? Well, he had a thumb and forefinger on each of my nipples and was moaning deep from his gut. His cock was jerking madly as come splattered onto his face and neck. This was a mutual orgasm better than I’d ever experienced with Stevie, Kiel, Tim, Sam, Peter, or Johnny.
I collapsed down onto him and began to lick his come splattered face. When our lips met his hands clasped either side of my head keeping me from wandering away. His tongue was in my mouth struggling for what, I did not know. He rolled me over onto my back, my dick slipping out of him in the process. He rose on his hands above me and smiled. I’d seen that smile before. Tim had that smile a couple times; and, Johnny could make that smile, too.
I was suddenly very afraid. Mark was seeking a place in my heart, but Tim already took up most of it. Johnny snatched a piece and I didn’t want to let that go, but Mark’s eyes smiled down and I couldn’t resist. Was it possible for me to love three boys at the same time?
Mark lowered himself and placed his lips onto mine for a moment then said, “Did you feel the earthquake?”
“Yes, wasn’t it wonderful.”
“What an earthquake? We have them all the time. What’s so special about an earthquake?”
Mark obviously was not a romantic. That probably had been beaten out of him on the football field. The earth moved for me and it was so special I couldn’t explain it to Mark.
“We came at the same time,” I said looking up into his gray eyes. His pecs were beautiful with the little nubbins of his nipples standing out firm and erect. I reached up with a forefinger and pressed one, rubbing it slightly, sending an obvious shiver though his body.
“Is that important?”
“Is that important? Mark, that’s the whole point behind sex. You came at the same time I did and neither of us was touching you. A lot of guys, like me, don’t come when they’re being fucked. It feels great, but that’s all. You were terrific. All this time I’ve been avoiding you and you’re a natural.”
“Geoff, please, stop,” Mark said as he rolled off me onto the bed. The dark cloud descended and enveloped him. I’d seen that before, too. I knew he was very close to being suicidal. I had to work quickly if I was going to do anything to keep the bastards at school from destroying another boy I wanted to fall in love with.
“I guess it’s hard to swallow, isn’t it?” I suppose it would be hard to suddenly discover you can have sex with a guy and enjoy it. I guess it would be the same for me if Monica invited me for a little romp in her bedroom one Saturday afternoon and I could actually come with my dick stuck in that dank hole between her legs. Just the thought of it was enough to turn my stomach.
“But, when those guys were doing me down in the coach’s basement, I didn’t come.”
“Mark, you were being raped, damn it! I’ve been raped five times and on neither of those occasions did I expel one drop of semen. Rape is not sex. Just because someone is shoving a broom handle up your ass does not mean you’re supposed to enjoy it. You’re a football player. You love playing football, right?”
“Yeah, but like that’s ever going to happen, again.”
“Do you like being blindsided or clipped?”
“But, that’s part of the game of football. You should enjoy that.”
“Okay . . . okay, I see you point. It just felt so good with you inside me like that. I don’t remember any of those feelings when the guys were, uh, raping me.”
“Because? Because rape is not sex. It’s assault. It’s degradation. It’s dominance. They were trying to push you into a deep hole where you’d never come out. Only, they went too far and nearly pushed you into a grave. And, now, they’re paying for their crime.”
“And, I’m paying for being there, too.”
“Only because a school full of bastards and idiots who think you should’ve kept quiet. It was your teammates and your coach. Team spirit. Esprit de corps and all that shit.”
“Somebody dumped a tray of food on me Thursday when you weren’t at school. By the way where were you?”
“Where were you on Friday?”
“They sent me home. Principal Jennings suspended me for a day and a half because some asshole dumped a tray of food on me and messed up my clothes. The fucking bastard. Where were you?”
I rolled over onto my side and snuggled up against him. There were tears in his eyes. That he didn’t kill himself between then and now was probably important, probably an accomplishment, but I didn’t know what he was thinking. I didn’t know how far down into the hole he was. I didn’t know how close he was to the bottom rung. There’s a long drop at the end of that ladder and not many people survive the fall.
I had to save him. I had to figure out some way to keep him. God, to have sex like that and let it die would be too much.
“After I got my casts off and went home, me and Johnny got together.”
“You had sex with Johnny? But he acts like a little kid.”
“He’s not a little kid in bed. Anyway, later all of us were up in my bedroom talking with Doctor Randall.”
“Group therapy, I read about it somewhere.”
“Yeah, group therapy, I guess that’s what it was. Personally, I think Doctor Randall was just trying to act like a dad or something. Anyway, he asked us to join him in a group hug. And, well, Johnny was sitting down leaning against my bookshelf under where the Corsair was on a shelf. And, well, when he got up it sort of fell.”
I shuddered a little when a picture of that night came into my mind. Tears filled my eyes, but I didn’t want to lose it being there with Mark. I put my arm across his chest and held myself against his naked body. He turned onto his side and pulled me into him. He let me have my cry.
A few minutes later, a long while if I fell asleep, which I might have, I felt my hardening, sore dick pressing against his. I don’t think I could do anything, but there seemed to be some excitement left inside.
“I’m not doing that,” Mark whispered, as if he read my mind. “You’re doing that on your own. Personally, the way my balls feel, I doubt if I have any sperm left.”
“Me either, but I think it likes you.”
“I like it too, I guess.”
“You don’t want to be gay, either.”
“No, but you do, I thought.”
“Mark, I didn’t ask to be this way, okay? This is me. I like boys, men. I like doing this, but all the shit I have to put up with, I can do without, okay? I never know who’s going to try to trip me, slam me into the lockers, push me out of their way, swear at me, hate me because of it. Nobody asks to be gay.”
I don’t know if he liked the spiel, but I had to give it to him. I could never imagine myself being with a woman, but some like Doctor Baumgartner, I guess, want so much to be like everyone else and not have to put up with the shit, they force themselves over to the other side of the fence. It must make for an uneasy life pretending you’re something you’re not.
“It’s kind of hard, then?”
“Hard, shit, do you know how many excuses for not dating, not going to dances, I had to come up with before my bastard father died?”
“Don’t get mad at me,” Mark said leaning over to kiss me.
I felt comfortable being held by all those muscles. His dick, not much longer than my measly little rod of flesh, felt good pressing against me. I didn’t want this to end.
“I don’t think I can ever get mad at you, again. To think I used to despise you because you were so heterosexual. You were trying so hard to get into Monica’s shorts.”
“Hey, you two, I’ve got to go to work,” Gary called out from the other side of the door.
I wanted to believe it was the other side of the door, but when I turned and I saw his smile, I nearly died.
“If you guys want a ride, you’d better get cleaned up. Damn! What have you two been doing?
“Everything,” Mark said. “Why didn’t you tell me this was fun?”
“You never asked,” Gary said. “Now, hurry up.”
“Come on, Geoff, get your ass in gear,” Mark said pushing me away from him.
“Do you think he’s been here all the time?” I asked watching the door close.
“No, he came in while you were asleep.”
“Into the bedroom?”
“Yeah, he still thinks you have a cute ass.”
“I don’t think it can be fixed, you’ll have build a new one,” Mark said as he looked over the broken Corsair pieces. We’d come to the house because Mark wanted to see if anything could be done.
“I don’t know how to build models,” I said.
“You’re kidding, right? Every kid knows how to build models.”
“Well, I guess I’m going to have to help you, then.”
“Sure, no problem, except for the painting. That’s pretty complex.”
“I can do that,” Sam said. I turned around and he was standing at my door. I hadn’t heard him come up the stairs. “Some of that looks like airbrushing, but if we can get hold of an airbrush and some paints, I can do that, too. It’s been a couple years, well since I’ve been locked up, but it shouldn’t be too hard to pick up the basic skills. I’ll have to practice some. Maybe we can get something else, first, then do the Corsair when we’re all up to speed. How’s that sound?”
“Hey, that a great idea,” Mark said. He put down the pieces and went over to where Sam was standing. I thought they were going to kiss, but Mark just wrapped his arms around Sam and gave him a hug. “I’ve missed you. You haven’t called.”
“I thought you were seeing Geoff, now,” Sam said, seeming to struggle to get out of Mark’s embrace.
“For sex, yeah, but for buddy stuff I want you, okay?”
“Did you guys, um . . .”
“Yeah, we did,” Mark said. “I never believed doing guy sex could be so much fun. And, you know what (in a whisper) he actually fucked me and it was so good I got off without touching myself.”
“You’re kidding me, right? Geoff? Did he really?”
“Did you feel the earthquake about one o’clock?” I asked.
“That was us. He shot himself in the face. I’ve never seen anyone do that before.”
“Man, I wish I’d been there.”
“Now, that would have been interesting,” I said, smiling at him. He came over and kissed me lightly on the lips.
“Still friends?” He asked.
“Hey, now, how’s this going to work?” Mark asked walking over to where Sam and I were holding hands.
“It’s rather simple, actually,” Sam said. “You and I are friends. We do buddy things like go to movies, build models for Geoff, go out to Gussie’s for chocolate sodas, shit like that. If we want to have sex, we go to Geoff. He’ll have sex with anybody, as long as it’s a guy. Won’t you?”
“I guess that’s what I do best,” I said. “Mark certainly seemed to enjoy himself and I think you had a good time the last time we got together.”
“It’s been awhile,” Sam said. I felt his hand on my ass. “You’ve been spending too much time with Johnny.”
“God, Geoff, is that all you do? Have sex with guys?” Mark asked. “How do you keep it all straight?”
“I don’t keep it straight, I keep it gay. It’s more fun that way. Besides, I only have sex with people who are special to me and, quite frankly, I seem to have an awful lot of special people right now.”
“You’re special to me,” Mark said. His arms went around me and our lips met.
I wanted him right at that moment. If Sam hadn’t been there, I’d have locked my door and done wild and crazy things with Mark’s body. I was falling for him. It was as simple as that. He made me feel good in the same way Johnny made me feel happy.
Only, neither of them could take Tim’s place in my heart. I wanted him so much everyday I almost made myself cry simply by thinking of him and our separation. He’d said we probably never see each other ever again, but I couldn’t believe that. Our love was too special for that to be possible. I firmly believed love would bring him back to me. It had to be that way. It had to. You had to believe in a happy ending, or life just wasn’t worth living.
I looked over at Sam and he seemed lost, forgotten, maybe a little alone.
“Come here Sam,” I said. “There is a reason they’re called group hugs.”
“Can I kiss you, again?”
“Well, you’re certainly not going to be kissing me anymore,” Mark said, smiling. “I’m your buddy and buddies don’t kiss, at least according to my rules. Now, that everybody is happy and in love again, how about going to get Sam’s practice model. I like to go to North Park Hobby over at Town Centre.”
“Why can’t we go to Mitchell’s?” I asked. “It’s just down on Oak Park. What, seven blocks?”
“Do they have models?” Mark asked. “I thought they were a craft store.”
“In the back behind all that artsy shit, I’m sure they have models,” I said.
“Yeah, I remember seeing them,” Sam said. “But, that was a few years ago.”
“Well, come on, let’s go,” Mark said.
Buddies, I’d never had buddies. It had always been Stevie. Then we started doing things and I felt we became lovers and best friends, but we were never buddies. We didn’t have much to do to get ready, but I did check my wallet for money. A twenty dollar bill. Just a twenty. It was a lot of money, but was it enough to get a model?
“Sam, do you have any money?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’ve got a couple dollars.”
“Uh, it’s your show. I’ve got a ten, but I was saving that to take Sam to a movie tonight.”
“You didn’t ask me,” Sam said.
“Will you go to the movies with me, honey?”
“Don’t call me honey. That boy over there in Madras shirt is your honey, but I’d love to go with my buddy.”
“Okay, you two buddies, if we don’t get down there soon they’ll close. It’s almost four now.”
It wasn’t a herd of elephants, but we made enough noise to bring Doctor Randall out of his office. He was seeing a new kid who looked a little pale all the time. Of course we didn’t know what was wrong with the kid, except he was pale and looked scared like he was afraid someone was going to hit him. Doctor Randall looked at us with that face of his, the “what the fuck is going on face.”
“We’re going down to Mitchell’s, okay?” Sam asked. He had to ask, now, because his parents were starting to reopen his case and Sam was supposed to be under guard, or something like that. I know Doctor Randall was pissed at Sam’s parents, but there was little he could do except confer with Sam’s guardian, who seemed to be honestly interested in doing what was best for Sam, and his own lawyer who was familiar with the State’s insanity laws, or as Sam like to say, the State’s insane laws.
“How many of you?” Doctor Randall asked.
“The three of us,” I said.
“I don’t know,” I said. I looked at the other two and they shook their heads.
“Go find him and take him with you. I think he’s in Sally’s room playing with her and her friend. I’d prefer if he was with kids his own age, if you know what I mean.”
“Sure thing Doctor Tim,” Sam said. “Come on, Mark, we’ll probably have to use muscles to get him away from the little kids.”
Johnny was officially my project, but Sam had been enlisted to assist. Doctor Randall was actually paying Sam a couple dollars every time Sam had to assist me with Johnny. When I found that out, I did everything I could to take care of Johnny myself, but we’d just started and Johnny was proving to be reluctant to grow up and at like an everyday, normal teenager. I don’t know what was making him act like a little kid, but give him a chance and he was down in Sally’s room playing with dolls, or whatever shit little girls play with.
When we got there, Johnny, Sally, and six year old Suzy from across the street were having a tea party with their teddy bears. Johnny had taken Mr. Crowley from Peter’s room and it was sitting on a little chair at the table. Cute and darling, as in “Isn’t that cute!” or “Isn’t that just darling,” come to mind with what we saw. I was just glad they weren’t playing house or even worse, doctor, which Suzy seemed to like to play more often than was comfortable at our house. I remembered at least three occasions when Suzy and Sally were doing a rather in depth physical examination of little Larry, the five year old from across the alley. Of course, there was the time when they were playing house and the girls had a diaper on Larry and were trying to convince him he had to pee in it. I thought that was funny, but Mother had a long talk with Suzy’s mother and we didn’t see Suzy for a couple weeks.
Johnny was, to say the least, unhappy when Mark and Sam picked him up off the floor and took him out of the room. Sally looked at me, but she knew Johnny was not supposed to be playing in her room. She just shrugged her shoulders and put a cup up to Mr. Crowley’s mouth.
By the time I made it to the front door, Mark and Sam had Johnny in his coat and they were checking his wallet. He still seemed at bit flustered, but being Johnny he just stood quietly and let them have their way with him.
“He’s got a fifty in here and a bunch of twenties,” Mark said, holding out Johnny’s wallet. “What is with this kid? Is he rich, or something?”
“Mommy has lots of money and she likes to give it to me,” Johnny said. “I think she’s trying to get me to like her more.”
“We might need some of your money to fix the Corsair,” I said.
“Oh, take what you want. I’ve got a bunch more up in my piggy bank.”
“We don’t need loose change,” Mark said.
“Oh, I never keep loose change in there.”
We looked at him like he was some sort of alien. The kid had a big piggy bank, I’d seen it, and he only kept paper money in it? He stood there looking back at us like we were weirder than him.
“Honest, I’ve got lots. You want me to go up and get you a couple more fifties? I don’t like going out with the hundreds, but I will if you make sure I don’t throw them away on foolish things.”
Gold diggers, I think that was the word I was looking for as we all thought of the models we could practice on. Then I wondered something disgusting, something horribly disgusting, something I didn’t want to ask Johnny about, but I knew I had to.
“Johnny, do you give Peter money?”
“Oh, sure, every time we have sex, I give him a twenty. He said that’s what friends did. When you and I had sex I wondered why you didn’t ask for money, but then the Corsair fell and I couldn’t. Peter said I shouldn’t tell anyone, though. He said some people wouldn’t understand why it was important for me to give him money to have sex with me.”
“Why the little whore,” Sam said. “I’m surprised he didn’t ask for more.”
“Oh, he makes me give him a fifty when I fuck him, but I don’t like doing that because I have to lick him first.”
“The fucking bastard, I’m going to kill that kid,” Sam said, too loudly.
“Sam! I told you about your language,” Mother yelled from the kitchen. She was in the foyer in an instant. She was mad and Sam knew he was in deep shit.
“Yes, ma’am, I’m sorry,” Sam said, trying to look small and meek, if not very, very sorry.
“Timothy? Are you busy?” Mother yelled. Obviously she didn’t care if Doctor Randall was seeing a patient. This was her house, after all.
“Yes?” Doctor Randall said at his door.
“Give Sam three swats with the paddle,” Mother said. “Two for the F word and one for the B word.”
“What B word?” Doctor Randall said as he walked to the guest closet to get Dad’s old paddle. It was hanging on a peg behind some coats.
“Bastard,” Sam said. “And, technically, Peter is one, too.”
“Bend over,” Doctor Randall said. “Sam, you know what the house rules are. We’ve talked about them until we’re blue in the face. It was one of the conditions we all agreed to when we came here. This is Mrs. Johnson’s house and we don’t swear. Is that clear?”
“Yes, sir,” Sam said.
He winced a little on the first swat. Then a tear dribbled out of his eye after the second. We all waited, but there wasn’t a third.
“I’m not giving you the third, but you do deserve it. We’ll hold it as a cautionary note, sort of like interest you earn at a bank. Next time, if you’re foolish enough to deserve a next time, we’ll take that swat out of the bank. Do you understand?”
“Now, get out of here before you guys cause anymore problems.”
We didn’t run out of the house, but Johnny was walking awfully fast. I knew he felt he was the cause of Sam getting the ultimate punishment dished out by my mother. Although Doctor Randall didn’t approve, he wasn’t about to tell her she had to stop the corporal punishment, so all of us were subject to immediate justice dealt by the hand of Doctor Randall. After all, he was the man fucking my mother, now; and, if he wanted to continue sticking his dick into her, he had to go by her rules. It was her house. All her house, the mortgage being paid off with some of Dad’s insurance money.
We stopped at the corner and waited for Sam to catch up. He wasn’t walking funny, but there was a certain amount of carefulness to his step as if his underwear was too tight. There couldn’t have been that much swelling, but it might have been a little sensitive. He didn’t say anything, but walked right by us down the hill, every now and then he wiggled his butt as if there was something tickling him. Johnny started giggling, but Mark slugged him in the arm.
“You never did tell me why you weren’t in school Thursday,” Mark said. I looked over at Johnny, but he simply shrugged and ran up to where Sam was walking.
“When the Corsair fell to the floor, I kind of lost it and Doctor Randall had to give me an injection. It takes a while for those things to wear off, plus he wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to freak out, again.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Neither do I, but according to Doctor Randall, I miss Tim so much that when the thing I have to remember him with broke, some part of my mind decided Tim was dead and I went practically schizo. It scared the hell out of me because I knew what was happening, but I couldn’t stop myself. We’ve been talking a lot about my missing Tim.”
“You miss him a lot, then.” There was sadness in his words. I could hear him thinking he was going to be out in the street if Tim came back.
I didn’t want to hurt Mark, now that we were starting, hell, now that we were lovers. I put my hand out and took his, but wrenched his hand away.
“Quit being queer with me,” he said. Sam turned around and looked at me.
“I’m sorry, but I love him more than I love you or Johnny,” I said. I put my hand on his shoulder and he flinched, but didn’t move away. “I don’t know if you can accept this, but I’m in love with three wonderful boys. I don’t want to lose any of you, okay?”
“Okay, I think I understand. After all, I’ve known you for a long time, even though we’ve never been friends. You’re just a loving kind of guy, and I guess I should feel honored to have you willing to love me. That doesn’t sound too queer, does it?”
“No, Mark, you’re not too queer. A little maybe, but not too much.”
He slugged me in the arm, which I think is a tough guy thing. Having never experienced this form of male adoration, I didn’t know if I should slug him back or just take it as I might take a fleeting kiss. I opted for the latter, since I wasn’t into violence of any kind.
When we turned the corner on Oak Park, I saw trouble ahead. Eddy Schiltz, our local psycho kid from Hell, was out with his little gang of sycophants, and they were walking toward us. There was no where to go, we had to go through them or walk out into the street to go around them. These thugs could have been right out of West Side Story with their blue jeans, t-shirts, and cigarettes, only I don’t think any of them knew how to dance or sing. Having been on the receiving end of their taunts and, on at least two occasions, fists, I knew we were walking into something dangerous. We met outside the door to Kelly’s, our neighborhood tavern and biker hangout. It was too early for the bikers, but there was still a bit of a crowd, probably husbands exhausted from an afternoon with the wife and kids.
“Well, if it isn’t our little fag and his queer friends,” Eddy said. He grabbed the front of my shirt and swung me around into Kelly’s front window. His fist was coming up to meet my face when he sort of crumpled to the ground holding his balls. Sam smiled.
I looked around me expecting to see Mark and Johnny lying on the sidewalk, but four of Eddy’s gang were down there holding various body parts and moaning in agony. The three other were smart enough to run, although one was limping a little.
“Very good job of subduing the vermin!” A voice bellowed out of the bar, soon followed by Officer Tomlinson, our local beat cop. He was nice for a man over six feet tall and weighing close to three hundred pounds, or at least he was always nice to me. “Makes my job a lot easier when the baddies are already on the ground. I’ve called for backup so we shouldn’t be bothered by these dust bunnies much longer. And, Eddy, I’m surprised at you, attempting to assault a minor. You’re twenty-one now and can’t be going around beating up innocent children.”
“He’s a fag,” Eddy said.
“And, I’m certain you’ll meet some nice gentleman down at the lockup who will think the same of you,” Officer Tomlinson said, winking at me.
Officer Tomlinson and I turned to look at Johnny. I saw the man’s face go all soft and gooey. Then he straightened up and picked up Eddy. He took him over a telephone pole and made him put his arms around it, then put the cuffs on him, effectively keeping Eddy from going anywhere until the paddy wagon arrived. Then he said, “You boys watch those other ones, if they move, kick ’em in the nuts.”
“Dad?” Johnny asked, again. There were tears in his eyes, but he couldn’t move.
“It’s nice to see you, son,” Officer Tomlinson said going up to Johnny. “You hanging out with this bunch, now?”
“We live up at Geoff’s house,” Johnny said. He looked limp, as if he was about to fall. “That’s where Doctor Tim is having us live. It’s supposed to be some kind of test, or something.”
“I know all about it, son, but I didn’t know you were one of the, uh, patients, uh, residents. How are you doing?”
“Better, a little better. Geoff has been helping me.”
I stood there waiting for Johnny to say, “Geoff has been fucking me,” but Johnny went off in a different direction. Officer Tomlinson being Johnny’s dad was something totally from out of the wild blue yonder. I left them and went back to be with Sam and Mark, not that I could do anything if any of the vermin, as Officer Tomlinson called them, decided to make a run for it, but they were a rather quiescent bunch all huddled together. Most of them were kids like us, but one was Eddy’s special friend. Knowing what I knew about buddies, I suspected this guy wasn’t a buddy, but more like someone who took care of Eddy’s dick when it got all swollen and stiff. He was probably going to enjoy his stay down at the County Jail, unlike the other three who were most likely trying to not think about might happen to them when the lights went out.
With a scream of sirens and screech of brakes, the other North Park Policemen arrived and cleaned up the sidewalk, leaving Officer Tomlinson and us to take care of the final details. Since Officer Tomlinson saw the whole thing, from beginning to end, none of us were going to be involved, we hoped, Sam especially. He took us down to the Oak Park Diner for sodas.
I had to admit there was a resemblance between Johnny and his dad. The face was similar, roundish, with a long chin, wide eyes, and little ears. I never noticed that about Johnny. He had the daintiest ears I’d ever seen. They were absolutely cute.
“I want you to know I appreciate you guys taking an interest in helping Johnny. I would’ve liked to have been around, but things didn’t work out with his mother and me. And, if anyone asks, I’m not here and I did not talk to my son.”
“Mommy had better lawyers and Dad can’t see me unless there is supervision, like one of Mommy’s lawyers. I don’t understand, but that’s the way Mommy is.”
“Yeah, that’s the way Phyllis is. Her way or no way. What I don’t understand is why you three are hanging out with that piece of shit.”
“What about Mark?” I asked.
“What he did to his teammates is absolutely unforgivable.”
“What he did to his teammates? What about what they did to him?”
“Hey, a little assault is nothing compared to what any of you are going to face as adults, but to turn the Coach and those good boys in is just something I can’t believe. And, you, Johnny, associating with him.”
Mark was sinking. I could see him sinking. Those words were piling on top of him forcing him into a dark hole in his mind. I had to stop it.
“Do you know what they did to him? Do you really know?”
“Assault, that’s what is on the record.”
“Yeah, they assaulted him, yeah, they did that. Then, then do you know what they did? No, you don’t. You don’t want to know that. You’re condemning him because of that fuckin’ esprit de corps shit. Well, Officer Tomlinson, I’ll tell you what that coach and his teammates did to Mark. They took a broom handle and shoved it up inside him. Once they got him all loose and bloody, each and every one of them, including the Coach Jorgenson who went first, raped Mark at least twice. Then they dumped him, bleeding profusely, in a phone booth outside a gay bar on Capitol Hill. And, do you know why? Because he eats his lunch at the same table as me, the school queer. They didn’t want the latest school football hero to hang around with a queer so they beat him senseless, brutalized him with a broom handle, and then proved they were less than human by raping him.”
I was mad and everyone could see that, including everyone else in the diner, most of whom I suspected thought the same about Mark as nearly everyone else in North Park. But, as the saying goes, you could hear a pin drop. Quite possibly, no one was breathing either.
“And, that is why I continue to help Mark. Look at him. Look at him, Officer Tomlinson. He’s on the edge. One more person like you antagonizing him because he was a victim, not the perpetrator, is going to send him over the edge. I know because I’ve been there. Sam knows, too. He’s been there. All of you stupid people are going to make this poor boy, this friend of mine, do something all of us will regret to our dying day. I’m sorry, Mark, but I can’t let this stay hidden any longer.”
He ran to the restroom and Sam went after him. I wanted to go to, but I had to deal with Johnny’s father.
“I didn’t know,” he said. “I had no idea.”
“From what Doctor Randall told us, he knows some people down at the Courthouse, they plea bargained the rape charges in return for reduced sentencing, except for Coach Jorgenson, who pleaded guilty to everything. So, officially, Mark wasn’t raped. You know, what kid wants to have that hanging over him.”
“Dad, please, try to understand, it’s not Mark’s fault,” Johnny said.
“No, it’s not his fault, and this shit has to end,” Officer Tomlinson said. “And, I’m going to help. I know some people and we’re going to set this straight, once and for all.”
“What can be done?” I asked. “I’ve thought of lots of things, but none of them are practical.”
“Well, my friend down at the Herald can do something. John owes me a couple favors and a good story in the morning paper might just help.”
“But won’t that mean telling everything? I don’t know if Mark can handle everyone knowing what exactly happened.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll let John know how the boy feels. We’ve got a whole lot of minds to turn and sympathy works wonders. If I know John, he’ll have a whole lot of fathers in North Park crying real tears for what this community has done to that poor boy. Now, I’ve got to get back to the station. It was nice to see you Johnny.”
“Yeah, thanks for helping Mark.”
They got up and hugged. Then Officer Tomlinson kissed Johnny’s cheek and walked out the door. Johnny sat down beside me and leaned against my shoulder. He wasn’t crying, and I felt his hand grasp mine. I squeezed it enough to let him know I understood what he was feeling.
Later that night, after Sam came home from his date with Mark and we’d all gone to our separate beds, which seemed strange to me, but Johnny was still a little upset over seeing his father and Sam was unusually quiet. I know Johnny asked Doctor Randall for something to help him sleep, but knowing how the good doctor meted out drugs, he probably told Johnny it was high time he started learning to live with his demons and to quit expecting medicine to cure his ills. I hadn’t seen Doctor Randall ever give any of us a sleeping pill so I had to assume Johnny wasn’t going to get a good night’s sleep. I was a little surprised he didn’t ask me or Sam to join him, but Johnny may have been afraid he’d end up crying on whoever’s shoulder was present. Sam? Well, I didn’t know what was wrong with Sam.
We never did get to Mitchell’s to get the model, but at dinner Mother said she’d take us down to Town Centre tomorrow because all the shops were going to be open for a pre-inventory sale and we might get a good deal on the models. I let Mark and Sam talk to her about what they had in mind as I didn’t have the foggiest idea what we needed or what exactly we were looking for. All I knew was that models were plastic, they came in a box with a color picture of what the model should look like when it was completed or what the prototype looked like in real life, and you used a glue that some kids used to get high. Other than Peter, I don’t think any of us ever considered getting high on anything. We may have been crazy boys, but we were good crazy boys.
I knew what I wanted, though, and I had my briefs down at my ankles. I was alone and Tim was on my mind. It was his second night back and we were at his sister’s apartment down at Lake Woodin. The Corsair was back on his dresser where it belonged. The other models flew about the room as we kissed and our fingers tried to remember where we liked to be touched, kneaded, massaged, rubbed, or simply caressed. He was on top of me, his erection, somehow different than before, was pressed against mine and I felt it spew out another wad of come. He hadn’t changed. He still had a hair trigger.
There was a knock at my door. I opened my eyes and Tim evaporated from my sight.
“Can I come in a moment?” Mother asked.
She walked over to my bed and sat down. I’d raised my knees a little to hide the bulge in the bedcovers. She smiled knowingly.
“Isn’t that a bit uncomfortable, sitting like that?” She asked.
“Not as uncomfortable as you seeing the outline of my erection,” I said.
“I’ve seen your penis before.”
“Not like it is now.”
“Don’t be so sure of yourself. You’re my son. I’ve seen you and know what you do with that thing.”
“God, Mom, do we have to talk about my penis?”
“No, actually, Timothy and I want to thank you for helping Johnny. His father called and we had a wonderful chat. He had a lot of nice things to say about you. I guess Johnny is really enamored with you.”
“Yeah, I guess I’m just concerned about him surviving North Park High. Those kids can be pretty insensitive when it comes to kids who are different in any way.”
“Are you having sex with him?”
“You heard me.”
“Why do you ask?”
“Because Bill, Johnny’s father, is concerned about him being around you. I assured him nothing was happening between you two, but I was just wondering if I’d been lying.”
I looked into her eyes and she simply nodded. She knew Johnny was coming to my bed at night and she knew Sam had been sleeping with him, too. I wasn’t too certain whether she knew Johnny and Peter had been having sex, but that didn’t really matter considering she lied for me, not for the other boys.
“I see,” she said. Her hand came to rest on my knee. Then she gripped it firmly. She’d never done that, so I didn’t know what signal I was supposed to be receiving. “Is he gay?”
“Yeah, as far as I know,” I said, lowering my legs since my erection was gone. “He doesn’t have any experience with girls, other than little girls like Sally, so I can’t be certain of his exact orientation. Right now, though, he likes being with guys.”
“You mean you.”
“And, Sam, and Peter, too, but mostly Peter. They were together out at the orchard.”
“The funny farm, the nut farm, the orchard.”
“Does Timothy know you call it that?”
“Sure, I think he calls it that, too, sometimes.”
“I don’t want Johnny to get hurt,” Mother said. “That’s all I want. I don’t know what you guys have to do to keep this a secret, but you must ensure neither his mother, step father, or father ever learn he’s gay except from his mouth. Okay?”
“That’s the way I would want it,” I said. I sat up and placed my hand over hers. I took it in mine, brought it to my lips and lightly kissed it. “I’ll try not to disappoint you. I know this past year has been hard on you, what with my suicide attempts, but I’m a lot better now. I have Johnny to teach how to be a normal, regular, teenager, if you can believe I can do that. I have Mark to help make people understand it’s not his fault the coach and his teammates are now convicted felons. And, I have you and Sally.”
“Okay, I just wanted to make sure you understood,” Mother said. She took her hand away from me and placed it on my thigh to steady herself so she could kiss me. We rarely kissed on the lips, but we did enough so that it wasn’t unexpected. “I’ll leave you to your, uh, imagination.”
“I have Tim to remember.”
“He was a nice boy.”
“Is, Mother, Tim is a nice boy.”
She smiled and stood up, then reached down and grabbed my crotch. I swung at her, but she was too quick for me.
“I’ll get you for that,” I said, but she was out my door.
Tim never came back to see me, so I rolled over on my side and sought him in my dreams. How long was it before I felt a familiar hard-on slip into my crack? A couple minutes, half an hour, an hour? A hand reached over me and fingers found my right nipple. The pinch was definite and had its desired effect.
“Are you feeling better?” I asked as the hand slipped down to fondle my growing erection.
“A little, but I have to ask you something,” Sam said. His hands disappeared from my body and I felt him roll away from me.
“This is serious, isn’t it?”
He was silent. Only the soft sound of his inhalations permeated the small space between us. I wanted to be close to him, but felt him flinched when my body slid against his. This was serious. Was it something I didn’t want to here?
“Mark and I didn’t go to a movie,” Sam said. In the dim light I could see him staring at the ceiling. “We went to his brother’s apartment. For what it’s worth, it wasn’t my idea.”
“No, Mark would have thought of going there,” I said. I hadn’t heard all the details, but I’d heard enough to feel like crying.
“He thinks you’re too queer. You made him nervous with all that talk about him being like us. He just wants to have sex.”
“And, you two had sex.”
“I thought I was falling in love with him.”
I turned on my side and began to weep uncontrollably. Sam quickly enveloped me in his arms, but I didn’t want his comfort. I struggled against his hold, but he was too strong for me. Heck, everybody was too strong for me.
“Geoff? Are you crying?” Johnny asked from the bathroom door.
“Yes, he is,” Sam said. “Come here, I need you to help me comfort him.”
I couldn’t fight two of them and soon their soothing touch began to do its magic. They were soon kissing me all over my body. I lay as quiet as I could, not daring to disturb their desire to please me.
After a long moment, I felt an erection pressing against my lips, then another attempting to enter the other end. Not tonight, I thought, not tonight.
“Please, stop, both of you, please don’t do that. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend, again, and the last thing I need tonight is a couple of teen dicks sticking in me.”
“Sam? What did you say to him?” Johnny asked. I could feel him turn himself around so that his face was now next to mine. I felt his hot breath on my bare shoulder.
“I told him Mark doesn’t want to have sex with him, anymore.”
“I thought Mark liked Geoff.”
“Oh, he does. Mark thinks Geoff is practically the greatest guy in the world.”
“He doesn’t like me because I’m too gay for him. He wants to have sex with a more straight acting boy like Sam.”
“Sam? Did you have sex with Mark tonight?”
“Shame on you! I thought Geoff was special to you.”
“He is, but Mark is special to me, too.”
“Well, who am I suppose to be mad at?” Johnny asked. Obviously, we’d gone a step past his sense of moral justice. He was still like a little kid where everything was black and white, right or wrong, true or false, with no gray in betweens.
“Don’t be mad at anyone,” I said. “Mark just found out today he likes doing sex with guys. He’s confused, that’s all. And, I am a little bit too pushy, sometimes. After all, I did make a big deal about Mark coming when I fucked him.”
“And, he did it, again, tonight,” Sam said. “Oops, sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.”
“That’s all right, I’m getting over the shock. I guess you and I will have to switch roles. I guess I get to be the buddy.”
“Well, not really.”
“What? You mean he doesn’t want to see me at all?”
“No, he just wants to be your friend, okay? Just a friend, nothing more.”
I stared up through the night toward the ceiling. A friend, nothing more. I wondered if those were Sam’s words or Mark’s. They sounded a little too sophisticated for Mark to come up with, but right down Sam’s alley. Yet, I had to believe they discussed something. Was I too gay for Mark? I never considered myself to be that obvious, if one can be obvious. I knew a lot of boys who carried around a lot more gay stereotypes than I did and all of them were straight, or so I believed, since I’ve never been the kind of guy who can go up to someone who is practically a stranger and say, “Hey, how about a blow job?”
“I’m going to sleep, if you guys want to stay, it’s okay with me,” I said and two warm bodies snuggled up against me then reached across my chest and held hands. All was forgiven, all was perfect, again.