I'd like to thank TalonRider for his hard and perceptive work
throughout editing this chapter. Thank you!
I'd also like to thank Dargon and Librent for their exceptional skill and sound suggestions when beta reading this chapter. Thanks guys!
And finally I'd like to thank Jamie de Valen. His kind words and wise advice really makes this story shine. Thanks!
My eyelids started to droop, blurring out the glare from the TV set in the dim light of my bedroom. Just before I was about to drift off to sleep I felt him rock gently against me. Inching open my eyes, I watched as Jordan slowly rolled over on the bed, rested his soft chin on my chest, and stared up at me. It felt so real. I could actually feel the exhale of his warm breath tickle the small hairs on my skin. I shivered at the welcome sensation.
He licked his lips, his eyes captivating me as he spoke, “Stephen...” The sexy rasp of his smooth voice mixed with the smile on his pink lips sent my head spiralling in confusion. A sudden loud buzz came from the direction of the TV. My head jolted in panic, my eyelids flew upwards.
I woke up.
I blinked, my eyes focusing on the black, lifeless screen of the TV on standby across the room. My phone vibrated against my desk again, making me jump. I leant over and reached out with my fingers, picking it up. As I withdrew my hand back towards the warmth of the covers, I froze and watched as it trembled slightly. I flexed my fingers, but the trembling continued.
Ignoring it for a moment, I rolled onto my back and then sat up in bed; the mattress squeaking from my movements. I glanced casually around my room as my brain began to awaken, noticing now it appeared to be early morning. Checking the caller ID on the phone, I answered it and placed it to my ear.
“Hi, Kieran.” Brandon’s voice sounded too happy for my liking.
“Hey…” He paused, his voice taking on a different, more serious tone, “Are you ok? You sound a little ‘out’.”
“I just woke up.” The yawn that escaped my mouth confirmed my statement.
“Damn, at half-eleven? What time did you get to sleep?”
I rubbed the back of my head as I recalled the events of last night, “Early.”
“Was Torri there?”
“For a while.” That was the truth, as she’d left well before nine o’clock.
“Fair enough. Well…uh… Nathan and I were gonna go catch a film later, if you’re interested?”
“Sure.” The words left me before I had time to think, “Wait, no… I’m busy. I’m going over Jordan’s today.”
“That’s cool. If you guys feel like coming, just give me a call. We weren’t going to go until later anyways.”
“Ok, I’ll see what we’re doing.”
“Alright, catch you later, Kier. Bye.”
“Bye.” I hung up the phone and dropped it against the duvet.
I sat there for a few moments, before I too dropped back into bed, placing the side of my face against the now cool pillow. I closed my eyes momentarily, but quickly opened them once my mind started to play back the events of the dream I was experiencing only minutes before.
I lay there, my head beginning to clear as I let out a sigh. With my mind fully awake, I pulled back the duvet and swung my legs out of the bed; my feet placed on the thick carpet. I hunched forwards, my elbows coming to rest above my knees as I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head.
I idly watched the puddle of orange juice grow on the table as it continued to spill out of my glass, covering the wooden surface in the thick, sticky liquid.
I hadn’t noticed Emily when she entered the kitchen and even when she started rummaging about in the cupboards, searching for something to make for lunch. In fact, I didn’t notice her at all until her hand grazed my shoulder, startling me enough to knock my drink across the dining table.
Seeing my panicked reaction she jumped back.
“Oh, sorry…” she quickly began tending to the orange mess.
Realising she had everything under control, I once again withdrew into a recess within my mind, the part where I replayed the dream over and over, trying to make some sense of it.
“Stephen…” Those were the words from Jordan’s mouth. ‘Who was he talking to? Did he make a mistake? Was I supposed to be Stephen?’
“Kieran!” Em’s hand touched my shoulder again, “What’s wrong with you?”
I looked at her through sleepy eyes, “Nothing.”
Tossing the orange-enriched sponge into the nearby sink, she took a seat opposite me, the legs of the chair creaking slightly as she sat down, “Are you sure? Is something bothering you?”
“I just didn’t sleep well last night.”
“Are you worried about your exams?”
I pushed away from the table, collected my plate and now empty glass, and headed towards the sink, “No. I just couldn’t fall asleep.”
“Okay…” I could feel her eyes on the back of my head as I submerged the dishes into the soapy water. “It happens sometimes…” Em continued, “Just take it easy today and have an early night.”
Another yawn matched her sentiment, “Sounds good.” I turned around and faced her, noticing the damp patch on the table where she’d cleaned up, “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t mention it. Sorry for making you jump.” She sat back in her chair, her brows relaxing, signalling that the subject was over. “Do you have any plans today? It rained last night, but it’s supposed to be nice later.”
I leant back against the counter, “I’m going over Jordan’s at one-something.”
“Yeah?” Her eyes lit up at his name, “I like Jordan. He’s a very nice boy.”
Despite my confused mood, speaking his name and seeing her reaction prompted a smile to appear on my lips, “Yeah, he is.”
“Maybe you should invite him over.” She took a sip of her coffee.
“What? You have the hots for him or something?” I smirked, “You know he’s gay, right?”
“No! Really?” Her sarcasm-laced retort had me laughing.
Shaking my head I focused on her, “So what are you up to today?”
“I’m heading into London with Suzie and the other girls.”
I grimaced, “How fun.”
She poked her tongue at me, “We’ll be having plenty of fun. Just you worry about what you’re going to do with Jordan.”
My mouth was open to reply, but my mind began to chew on a second meaning behind her words. ‘What was I going to do with Jordan…or with Torri?’ I sealed my lips as a somber mood washed over me.
“What time did you say you were going to Jordan’s? One?” Emily was looking up at the clock on the wall. I followed her stare and checked the time, 12:26.
I pressed off the counter and stood straight, “Yeah, I should finish getting ready and head off.”
She swallowed some more of her coffee, “Ok. Just give me a shout before you go.”
“I will.” I called back over my shoulder as I walked out of the room.
I checked the time on my phone, 1:17. ‘Did he say one or two o’clock?’ I looked down at the display, watching as the blue sky overhead reflected off the screen’s glossy surface. I was going to text him to find out for sure, but decided against it, not wanting it to appear like I wasn’t listening to him. Instead, I left my home a little later and tried to time it so I arrived at his around one-thirty.
I slipped my phone into the pocket of the light-blue pair of long shorts I was wearing and looked up to focus on crossing the small and quiet road that led to Jordan’s house. The area was set back a little further away from the centre of town compared to my home, or the homes of Jim and the guys. It was almost into the country. While I didn’t appreciate the quietness of where I lived, it suited the location for Jordan’s home. The area was renowned for its large houses, some complete with swimming pools, and many having fancy cars parked outside the front.
Jordan had money. Well, his parents had money, he just got to reap some of the benefits. They weren’t crazily rich, both his mum and dad worked full time in good and secure jobs, even so, they had enough to live comfortably. They had a beautiful house, and owned many nice things, but beyond the money, they were all very kind and genuine people. Even without meeting his parents, you could tell through Jordan’s personality that he was raised in a warm and loving home.
Another ten minutes passed before I made my way through the open gates and towards his house; my footsteps making a ‘crunchy’ noise on the gravel covered driveway. The house itself was a large and modern detached building, with several metres separating it from the neighbours on either side. Light orange brick made up the walls, and smooth, dark brown tiles covered the roof. The generously sized windows ensured that more than enough sunlight entered from the outside world.
Approaching the dark wooden door, I reached out and pressed on the doorbell, smiling when I heard the familiar chime play within the house. As I stood there waiting, I turned around and had a closer look at the two cars parked there. His mum’s light silver Mercedes and his dad’s black BMW. They were both very beautiful and expensive cars, and gave a dazzling glow under the golden sheen of the sun.
The door opened and I turned around, my eyes settling on those of Jordan’s mother.
“Mrs. Lewis.” I smiled at the dark haired woman, instantly recognising the small nose and thin lips that she had passed down to her son.
“Kieran,” she laughed softly as she stepped aside, “How many times have I told you to call me Martha? Mrs. Lewis makes me sound too old.”
“It’s just a habit. Martha.” I laughed back and casually looked her over. She was slightly shorter than I was but only by a few inches. Her dark brown hair came down to her shoulders and had a somewhat ‘wavy’ style to it. Her Belgian heritage gave her a distinct and attractive look to her face, which cumulated in her appearing friendly and kind. I was sure those two traits, along with her personality, made her a favourite amongst her patients at the local hospital, where she worked as a Doctor.
“Is Jordan here?” I began, watching as she closed the door, “He told me to come over, but I wasn’t sure what tim…”
“Oh, he just got home.” She smiled, “Head on upstairs, you might catch him before he goes in the shower.”
The idea of Jordan in a shower caused me to quicken my pace as I slipped off my shoes at the door and made for the stairs, but caught myself before I stepped further into the house. “Thanks, Martha.”
“You’re welcome, Kieran. Just remind Jordan that Gary and I will be heading to the shops soon, so you’ll have the house to yourselves.” Gary was Jordan’s dad. I hadn’t noticed him as I entered the house, but seemingly, he was around.
I looked over my shoulder as I ascended the stairs and flashed her a grin, “Sure, I’ll let him know.”
“Thank you.” She headed into the lounge and disappeared from sight.
Arriving at the top of the stairs, I came to a stop and stood there for a few seconds. I could hear the sound of cascading water coming from the bathroom across the hall, indicating that he was indeed already in the shower. I waited for a moment and focused on the bathroom door. My mind quickly started to conjure up images of a wet and nude Jordan, causing a rush of blood to my groin. I turned to my left and rapidly entered his room, forcing myself to think of a neutral topic, something that was much less erotic.
Calming myself down, I made a brief inspection of his room. It was easily double the size of the room I had, and even that wasn’t a particularly small space. The walls were a light pink-peachy colour, and the laminated floor was a sandy-wooden style. Over to the left of the room, near to the window was his desk where he had his computer sitting there, along with some DVD’s and books in some shelves right next to it. On the other side of the room was a large, dark leather sofa, facing towards a nice-sized flat screen TV.
I inhaled and smiled, a soft and warm scent entered my nose and surrounded my brain, Jordan’s scent. I looked over at his large double bed next to the sofa, wanting to lay on it face down and bury my face in the pillows. On the other side of his bed, set into the wall were a series of doors that made up his wardrobe and general storage space.
I walked over to his window and peered down into his roomy back garden. The back doors to the house opened up to some dark wooden decking that spanned the length of the house and went out several metres. A few tables and chairs were on top of it, along with a large barbecue. Also on the decking, and under a small, sheltered pavilion made of wood rested one of my favourite features of his house; the hot tub. I’d only ever been in it once, around a year before when I’d come over with Jim and Brandon. Jim wasn’t about to strip down in front of Jordan, let alone get into a hot tub with him, but Brandon and I didn’t pass up the opportunity.
It also prompted me to often joke to Jordan about him streaking out naked whenever his parents weren’t home to have a dip in the nude. A light blush that appeared on his cheeks told me all I needed. Fortunately for him, thick, dense hedges on either side of the garden obscured the patio, including the hot tub from the gaze of his neighbours.
The sound of running water coming from the bathroom ceased, signalling the end of his shower. I skirted around his desk chair and took a seat on his soft bed, facing the wall that contained the door. Jordan had a few posters there, mostly ones from movies he liked. Unsurprisingly, many of those also had a good-looking male lead, so the posters worked as a little bit of eye candy too.
A soft metallic ‘click’ sounded in the hall, before a door opened. I heard his gentle footsteps padding down the hall, growing in volume as he came towards me. I grinned up at the door, listening as they grew louder and louder, my chest squeezing in anticipation as he turned into the room. And then he appeared at the doorway with only a white, fluffy towel wrapped around his waist.
My heart fluttered at the sight of him; the way his damp black hair clung to the sides of his cute face, the way his thin eyebrows expressed surprise, and the way his moist pink tongue darted out and wet his lips before he spoke.
“Kieran?” His light-blue eyes flashed at me as his expression softened and a smile grew on his face, “Sorry, I was just showering.”
My jaw was starting to ache from the grin I was wearing, “…Yeah, no problem. I think I’m early.”
He closed his bedroom door, “No, it’s good you’re here. How’s things?” His heavenly voice rang in my ears as he walked past me and over to his wardrobe. A soft scent of apples following in his wake.
I shifted on the bed to watch him, letting my eyes roam his smooth, bare back. I could see the muscles work as he moved, his shoulder blades sliding hypnotically under my gaze. I could almost picture myself reaching out and kneading his shoulders, feeling his silky skin under my fingers as I worked my thumbs against his lean muscles.
I found my voice, “I’m really good… How are you, Jordan?” I had to say his name, just to validate that he was actually there and that I was indeed really talking to him.
“I’m fine thanks.” He pulled open one of the doors, “I just wanted to shower after my exam. I don’t think you’d have liked me to have been all sweaty and smelly.”
The idea of a sweaty Jordan wasn’t something I’d have hated, but the clean and fresh smelling one that stood before me was preferred. “Your exam?”
“My trampolining one…”
As well as being a talented actor, Jordan was also very adept at trampolining, the one sport I really wasn’t too keen on. He could glide through the air and move his body in ways that I definitely couldn’t have done. Add to that he had little fear of falling off or injuring himself -something that I didn’t share- which meant he attempted and succeeded at many of the moves.
“Oh, that’s right, how did it go?”
“I think my routine worked out well.” He looked back at me and my eyes watched as a drop of water fell from his hair and landed on his creamy chest. The lucky little droplet flowed over his toned pecs, down past his little ‘innie’ belly button, before getting sucked up by the towel that hung around his slim waist.
I tore my eyes back to his face, “That’s good…” I cleared my throat, “Did they say how you did?”
“No.” He winked at me, “They’re keeping it a secret.”
I let out a small laugh, but quieted once his hands tightened around the edge of the towel as he focused on me. I naturally raised my eyebrows, waiting for his question.
“Uhh, do you mind if I get changed? I mea-”
“No.” The words escaped my mouth immediately and I could feel my ears reddening. I think I left too long a pause, because his eyebrows started to dip slightly. I straightened up, “No, sure, we’re both guys...right?”
“Right…” He began to untie the towel, my eyes widening as I held my breath. “You don’t have to panic though…” He continued.
I let out a whimper, completely oblivious to everything else.
“I’m already wearing some boxers.” He finished, and sure enough, once the towel was free of his body, Jordan Lewis was standing there in nothing but his tight, white underwear. My heart spasmed in my chest. The image was instantly burned into my retina, never going to be forgotten.
I let my eyes go up and down his body, taking him in. He was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. He gave a whole new meaning to the term ‘slim and slender’. He had no fat anywhere on his body, but was toned enough in just the right places to stop him from being ‘boney’. If anything, he looked even more huggable than ever before.
His white Calvin Klein boxers provided a lovely contrast to his light skin, but also hinted at a slight tan he’d acquired from his time in the sun. As he turned away, my eyes focused on his behind. He had an incredible bottom. It was a perfect size and looked soft yet supple too. Catching a glimpse at the front of his boxers for a few seconds as he pulled a white shirt over his head, I could see that he filled out the pouch in the cutest way. Jordan was adorable.
He faced the wardrobe once more and began to search through the shorts on the hangers. My eyes wandered down his legs, stopping on his smooth and creamy calves. I squinted, trying to make out any sign of hair. Either he naturally had little bodily hair, or he removed it. Both options were candidates, as I couldn’t identify a single follicle on the specimen before me. At least not from my vantage point on his bed.
Coming to my senses, I inhaled and swallowed, finding my palms were clammy. I started to wipe them down my shorts, but quickly placed them in my lap when I became aware of the heaviness in my boxers.
“Are you hungry?” Jordan pulled out a white pair of long shorts, “I haven’t eaten since this morning so I was thinking we could order some pizza?”
I watched his lips as he spoke. He had an amazing voice that was simply soothing to the ears, “Sure. I don’t mind.”
“Good.” Jordan bent over and started to pull on the shorts, facing away from me. My face flushed and I averted my gaze. While I had no trouble eyeing him up moments before, seeing him in that position seemed too much and my guilty conscience got the better of me.
He stood up straight, and flattened his shirt, “How do I look?”
“Your bum looks fine.” My already red cheeks grew deeper in colour upon realising what I said.
He turned around, a grin lighting up his face, “Hehehe, what?”
“Uhh...” I ran a hand through my hair, “Torri’s always asking me how she looks...I always tell her that if I like it.” I avoided his eyes.
“Seriously?” His head was cocked to the side.
I could feel the heat coming off my face, “Yeah…”
“Oh, ok…” He giggled softly, “Thanks for the compliment.”
The smile reappeared on my lips, “You’re welcome.”
Jordan closed the door to his wardrobe, walked around his bed and over to his chest of drawers where he pulled out some white ankle socks. With all that white clothing I’m sure the boy was trying to look like an angel, not that he had to try very hard in my opinion.
I watched as he padded over to his desk chair and sat down, placing his feet and legs on his bed as he got ready to put his socks on. My eyes slid down his body and focused on his smooth lower legs, and his pink, bare feet. I eyed the soft and shapely soles, marvelling at how clean and untouched they were. Like the rest of him, they sat perfectly in proportion to the rest of him. And his toes were immaculate. He must have spent ages cutting and filing the nails for they too were flawless. Jordan had some super cute feet.
Feeling a heaviness return to my groin, I shifted on the bed, but didn’t immediately avert my gaze. Jordan seemingly noticed my glare for he wiggled his toes, causing me to glance up at his face. He was wearing this adorable little grin, “What?”
I looked away, a blush coming to my face before I noticed his white trainers sitting near to the door, the same pearly pair he wore during the exam the day before. “I, uhh, I was wondering your shoe size.”
His expression took on a hint of confusion.
I nodded towards his trainers, “I was thinking about stealing them.”
He laughed, “Nooo! You’re not having those...” His eyes stole a glance at them, and back to me, “Do you like them?”
“Yeah, they’re really cool.”
“And size 9.” He winked, as he started to pull on one of the socks, “Too small for you I think.” He was right, they’d have been ever-so-slightly too small, but of course, I didn’t really want to steal them. I watched him finish pulling on his socks before he sat back on the chair and smiled at me.
I grinned back at him, marvelling at how ‘complete’ he looked as he sat there. His tongue snaked out and wet his lips, and in that instant I had this innate need to kiss him.
“So… pizza?” Jordan patted his belly.
I became aware of the emptiness of my own stomach as I smiled at him, “Sure. One with lots-”
“Lots of meat. I know.” Jordan giggled as he stood up, “I’m the same, remember?” I stared after him as he headed over to the door, but paused and looked over his shoulder, “You coming?”
Jordan hung up the phone and placed it on the table in front of us, before picking up the PlayStation controller. We were in his downstairs lounge, where we had settled in and made it our little place for the afternoon while everyone else were out. Much like the rest of his home, the lounge was quite modern in design, but also very cosy, with some soft cushions resting on the three large cream-coloured leather sofas. Facing the sofas was a big flat screen TV, not stupidly big, but it did give the ‘Whoa!’ effect. Hooked up to that was a sound system, along with the game consoles.
I lent closer to him, “So are they going to send the cute delivery boy?”
His eyebrows wiggled, “God, I wish! But they’ll probably send some really old woman. Not hot at all.”
“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with really old women.” I retorted comically.
He looked at me with a straight face, an expression I returned back at him. We held it for a few seconds before our lips turned up at the sides as we erupted in laughter. Jordan clutched his stomach cutely as he rolled onto his side. “Really old women!” He mocked, still in hysterics.
Through my own laughter I gazed over at Jordan as he sat lounging back against his side of the sofa, his body still quaking from the giggles. A feeling of pure joy flowed over me. I hadn’t been in his house for an hour yet he’d already made me feel incredible.
Wiping away the tears of laughter, he sat up and focused on the screen; a list of football teams appearing, “Who do you want?”
“Huh?” I coughed and sat up.
“The team.” His blue eyes looked into mine as he repeated himself, “Who do you want?”
His voice rang through my head, ‘Who do you want?’ My eyes locked on him. If I knew that, my problems would’ve been solved.
“The usual?” He lifted a can of Pepsi to his lips.
“No.” The words quickly escaped my mouth, causing him to pause and turn back to me, “I want to play on your team.”
“My team?” His eyebrows were raised and his head tilted forward slightly.
His expression was one of pure concentration before he blinked and looked back at the TV, a smile appearing, “Finally!”
My brow furrowed, “What do you mean?”
“I was wondering how long you were going to hold out.” He flashed his perfect teeth at me, “We work good together.”
I swallowed hard, “Maybe I’ve come to realise what I want.” My heart hammered in my chest, making my body twitch and tingle.
“Good.” He clicked through the menus and started the game, waiting for it to load. Jordan lifted his arms into the air and stretched out, his legs resting out on the recliner built into the sofa. He reminded me of my neighbour’s little grey cat, the way I’d seen it sprawl out on the floor before it wandered over, wanting to be stroked and cuddled. Watching Jordan out of the corner of my eye, I’d have had no problems giving him a little hug.
We played the game for around ten minutes, battling it out against some other players online. Jordan was right, we really did play well together. What made things more precious was how every time we’d score, we’d reach out and high-five each other. It was my idea, but Jordan played along, giggling cutely every time we slapped hands. I relished the touch, knowing how I wouldn’t have dared such a gesture with Jim. He’d have thought I’d gone mad.
Another ten minutes after that and our pizzas had arrived. Seeing as we liked the same kind of toppings, Jordan ordered two large meat-infused pizzas, both slightly different, so we could have a little of both. Coupled with multiple cans of Pepsi to wash it all down, we had a fitting meal for our two sixteen-year-old stomachs.
“I’m glad you’re here, Kieran. Stephen hates playing this game, but I love it!” Jordan grinned.
I frowned slightly at the mention of the other boy, my mind occupied by the dream I’d had earlier that morning, “Does he?”
“Yeah. He’s not a very sporty person anyway. He’s more into maths and stuff, you know?”
Like Brandon, Stephen never made any references to his being smart, which was one part of his personality I actually liked. From what he’d told me before, he wanted a career in one of the sciences, or maybe some kind of engineering. A far-cry from the ‘hair and beauty’ course I’d have expected the flamboyant boy to have chosen.
My frown deepened as I thought more about the boy and about the dream. It was still all very confusing, but the thought of Jordan being with Stephen really didn’t sit right with me. I’d never noticed anything going on between them that could’ve hinted at something more than a friendship, yet the dream felt so real.
“Jordan?” His name escaped my lips, I had to ask him something, if only to calm my own fears… or to confirm them.
“Hmm?” He took a bite from a slice of the pizza.
“You know how you’re gay?”
“Yes.” He swallowed, before taking another bite.
“And how Stephen’s gay.”
He frowned slightly before rolling his eyes, “Mon dieu…”
“Wait, I was just going to ask if…“
He laughed, leaning forwards to pick up his can, “I don’t fancy him, okay?”
“But he’s gay and single… You’re gay and single…”
“So? It still doesn’t mean I fancy him.” He swished the drink around in his can before speaking, “He’s not my type.”
Relief flooded my system and a smile swept across my face, before I forced it away, “Not your type?”
“Oh.” I watched him with intrigue, feeling giddy at his revelation, “What is your type?”
“I’m flexible.” His flashed me a grin.
“No, come on.” I leant closer to him, “What do you really like in a guy?”
His right eyebrow arched, “In appearance?”
His light-blue eyes scanned the ceiling, “Well… I do like guys who have cute smiles… uhh, blonds are cool too.” He paused, looking back down at me, “Maybe dark eyes. A brown or something.” He shrugged, “But I really don’t care about appearance much.”
Not too satisfied with his answers, I changed the question, “Well, what about personality?”
“Erm… yeah, he’d have to be smart, funny, kind…” He opened his mouth, but gave me a sideways glance, “Are you trying to match-make or something?”
I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively, before shaking my head, “Naah, just curious.” I licked my lips, “Do you like Brandon? He’s smart and funny.”
“He’s good looking and really nice…” He sighed, “I can’t believe you’re asking me this...” A cute blush appeared on his cheeks, spurring me on.
“Why? You can ask me about girls.”
“Yeah, but things are different with you…actually.” He shifted and faced me head on, “What I’d really want is someone who’d like me. Like really like me, you know?” He cocked his head and looked at me with interest, “Like what you and Torri have.”
“You’re both good friends and you’re always so close together and stuff.” He smiled, his eyes softening, “It’s nice.”
The whole conversation seemed to have taken a twisted turn at the mention of her name. He wanted what I had with Torri. Why did he want that? I didn’t even want that. At least, I thought I didn’t want that. My mind started to awaken again, resuming the chaos I’d thought about the day before.
I peered into his light blue eyes, seeing the beautiful soul that lay within him. ‘How could I want anything else, anyone else?’ I thought to myself. Jordan was an incredible person wrapped inside a beautiful shell. No one compared to him. No one even came close to comparing with him. I knew that, yet I still saw myself faced with a terrible dilemma, one with no easy way out.
I spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening with Jordan. It was by far the most fun I’d had in a long time. Nothing about it seemed fake or forced, instead it felt real and exhilarating. Saying goodbye to him felt wrong, I wanted to say that I’d come over tomorrow, or that I’d call him later that night before he went to bed. What I really wanted was to spend the night. Even if I slept in a separate bed across the other side of the room, it would have been more than enough. Just to be close to him, to know that he was sleeping nearby would have meant everything.
The time was almost eleven o’clock when I turned off my bedroom light and undressed ready for bed. It took my eyes a few seconds to adapt, before I walked over the carpet and climbed onto the soft mattress. Making my way to the top of the bed, I slipped under the covers, shivering at the sensation of the cool quilt against my warm and naked body. Shifting against the pillow, I got myself comfortable on the sheet. I slid my hand down over my abs and onto my groin and took hold of myself, letting out a contented sigh as my body relaxed.
I replayed the scene from earlier in the day, starting with the image of Jordan standing there clad in just his boxers. My mind began to wander as I slowly moved my hand through the motions, my hips moving up to meet me.
I pictured myself walking over to him, reaching out with my hand and letting my fingers come into contact with the top of his shoulders. I started to gently knead his soft muscles, watching as he let his head fall backwards towards me. Jordan turned around, bringing his arms forwards to wrap them around my waist as he pulled us closer together. I looked deep into his light-blue eyes as he parted his lips and leaned closer, his warm breath tickling my chin.
We kissed. His thin, pink lips started to move against mine. I felt his warm, moist tongue flick against mine. I shuddered on the bed, my mouth agape as my breathing deepened. I kissed him back, letting our tongues slide against each other as I tasted him. I tilted my head to the side, deepening the kiss, and allowing his hand to reach up and cup my face, just like the way Torri always did.
My hand froze.
I frowned, changing the scene and resuming my motions. We were on his bed. Jordan laid back, pulling me down into a kiss, I lowered myself, and pressed my lips to his. I reached down, my hand running over the bulge in his boxers and up over his tender abs. I closed my eyes, feeling his tongue snake into my mouth. My thumb found an erect nipple on his chest. Hard and pointy, just like the ones on Torri’s breasts.
I stopped again.
My frown deepened but I shook my head and carried on; faster and quicker. Jordan was on top, straddling my waist as he looked down at me, a devilish gleam in his eyes as he humped his covered groin against mine. My eyes were closed, surrendering to the feeling of his body on mine. His hands found my chest, gently massaging my pecs. I could feel his soft fingers, his long nails… My eyes bolted open to meet Torri’s gaze looking down at me as we lay on her bed.
I sighed in frustration and turned my head to the side, my hand picking up in pace. I didn’t care anymore. I needed it to happen. Jordan flashed before my eyes, his long, hairless legs and bare feet resting on my lap as he lay on his sofa. I looked up his body, coming to rest on Torri’s face framed in her silky hair.
The image became softer and softer. So did I, as the burning urge I’d felt moments before grew weaker and weaker. A ‘no’ sounded through my clenched teeth. I tightened my grip, trying to quicken my pace, holding on to what I had…
And then nothing.
I untangled my hand from the limp organ, bringing it to the top of the quilt before I banged my fists against the bed. “Damnit!” Lifting my head from the pillow, I brought it back down hard three times, “God. Bloody. Damnit.”
My chest rose and fell as I took in air, my heart pumping loudly in my ears. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head in confusion.
‘Who do you want?’
I lay there, silent and still for a few minutes, before I turned onto my side.
My mind churned as I ran scene after scene through my head until I surrendered myself to sleep.
you for reading this chapter of Kieran.
I hope you enjoyed it.
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