Chapter 9


This story describes the relationship and love life of two underage fictional boys. Any likeness between the characters of this story and real people are purely coincidental. If it is not legal to view this type of material, or you are not 18 years of age, read at your own risk. All material pertaining to this story is copyrighted to the author. Do not repost without permission.

Feedback is welcome, so please email me at Flamers will be ignored.

**Note from the Author: It will probably take awhile for the next few chapters to come out. I'm entering finals month at school, and it is taking up a lot of time. I thank all the readers for their patience.

Previously in Killing Loneliness:

But you always find a way, to keep me right here waiting

You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting

And if I chose to walk away, would you be right here waiting

Searching for the things to say, to keep you right here waiting.


He stopped playing, letting the last note ring. It was then I noticed the small tear running down his cheek.

This was it.

Now or never.



I felt him pulling away as I shuffled to get a little more comfortable. I thrust my arms out, locking them around his waist.

"Don't go," I whispered, unsure if the panic and fear was audible in my voice, "please."

I felt him stiffen momentarily, then lean towards me, and slid lower in my arms until I held him around the chest. His chin rested on my head.

"I won't," he whispered, wrapping his arms protectively around me, "I promise, Jase. I'll stay here this time."


I don't know how long I stayed there, me holding him and him holding me. At some point, I slipped into sleep, because the next thing I knew, I was being gently prodded as an incoherent voice whispered my name.

"Jase, wake up bud," the voice whispered. Slowly, the events of the past few...hours, I suppose...flooded back, and I bolted up right.

"Blake!" I gasped, searching the room for him.

"It's ok Jase, I'm here," I heard his voice say gently, soothingly. I felt his hand on my shoulder and jumped, turning rapidly to look at him.

"Blake," I said again, this time my voice little more than a whisper. I reached a hand out, gently caressing his face, a small smile playing across his face at my touch.

"You feeling better?" he asked, taking my hand in his own.

"Yeah," I said, sheepishly, "guess I fell asleep, huh?"

He let out a short laugh.

"`Fell' might be a bit of an understatement. `Crash' would be a better word."


I finally took a moment to look around. I was no longer leaning against the mirrored wall in Blake's basement, but was laying on an old couch tucked in the corner of the now dimly lit room. Blake was crouched next to me, a look of tender concern on his face, but covered slightly by the broad smile planted there.

"How long..."

"About two hours," he said. A strand of his hair fell across his eyes as he spoke, and I tentatively reached out and brushed it back into place. His smile brightened even more. "You fell asleep after about ten minutes of me holding you. I dragged you to the couch once I sure you were out."

"Oh," I felt my cheeks get a little hot, "um, thanks."

"No problem," he said, his smile dropping a little. "Jase?"

I looked into his eyes. Buried deep within them, almost hidden beneath the concern, was a sudden, utter sadness that seemed to consume him.

"What's wrong Blake?" I asked, gently stroking his cheek again, his hand still clasped gently to my own.

He looked into my eyes before answering. It was a fierce look, but not a frightening one.

"Are we...okay?"

I looked back at him, sorely tempted to simply lean over and kiss him gently on the lips.

"We're good, I guess," I said, holding his gaze for a moment. "I still want you Blake, badly. But, as long as I have you as a friend, I'll be happy, at least for awhile."

He was quiet, looking at a knot in the faux wood floor of the basement.

"Jase...I don't...I don't know if we more than friends."

"Don't say that Blake. You don't know-"

"No, I don't," he interrupted, "neither of us do. But, what if we fuck it up? We just found each other again Jase. I don't want this to turn into some fling and end up destroying our relationship permanently!"

I looked at him, not sure what to say. As much as I didn't want to admit it, he had a point. My mind was a mess, spinning around in my head, trying to make sense of everything. Could we survive going from friends, to boyfriends, and back to friends without a huge rift opening between us?


"Don't say anything Jase," he said, his eyes shimmering like he was going to start crying. "Nothing. We already know how the each other feels."

I felt tears once again threatening.

"Blake, I'm scared," I admitted, a single tear running down my cheek.

"Why?" he asked, gently brushing the tear off my face.

"I'm scared of the future Blake. I'm scared of loosing you again," I looked away from his face, sitting up and holding my hands in my face. "But what I'm scared of most is not having you in the first place."

He moved up and sat on the couch next to me. His arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into him, his other arm sliding along my chest to pull me into a hug. Weakly, I tried to push him away, lusting for his touch, but despising what it could, or rather, couldn't, lead to.

"Blake, don't touch me unless you mean it."


"Please, let me go Blake..."

"Jase, you're a friend in pain. I'm not going to-"

I couldn't stop myself. I don't know what made me do it, but I did. In a single, swift movement, it happened.

I kissed him.

It was the softest kiss imaginable by mankind. Our lips pressed together fully, but not hard. The smooth flesh felt good against my lips, sending bolts of electricity through my body.

I don't know which of use was more surprised.

The kiss felt like it lasted hours, but really only a few seconds had past when I pulled away.

"Shit," I whispered, pushing him aside, "I'm sorry Blake. I'm going. See ya at school..."

I stood and headed to the door leading out of the basement.

"Jase, come back here," he said, getting up and following me.

"I didn't mean to do that Blake," I said, turning the doorknob, "I'm really sorry."

I'd pulled the door open a few inches when his hand came from behind me and pushed it shut.

I stood there, not sure what to do. He was standing right behind me, almost touching me, his right arm over my right shoulder, holding the door closed. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, and it sent shivers down my spine.

"Jase," he said softly, "turn around."

I did, but instead of meeting his eyes, I stared intently at the ground.

"Look at me."

I shook my head slightly.

I watched him raise his hand, and winced slightly, thinking he might hit me. Instead, he held my chin and gently lifted my head until I had no choice but to look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry Blake," I whispered, not sure what to say, "I were there, holding me, and...oh, Blake..."

I felt the tears rising in my eyes again. Damn me and my crying!

"Jase," he whispered, leaning closer, "what do you want?"

"I...I want you, Blake."

He leaned even closer, our noses nearly touching. I stared into his intense blue-grey eyes, my breaths coming in short gasps. His left arm was now over my shoulder, and I was backed up against the door. Without touching me, he had me pinned.

And I liked it.

"Stop Blake," I gasped, his nose now touching mine, "Stop it, damn it."

"No Jase," he said, now wrapping his arms around my neck. "I don't know what the future holds, but I think...I think we...should do this."

His lips touched mine again, again with only the tiniest amount of pressure imaginable.

"Now or never Jase," he whispered into my mouth.

I felt my arms tentatively reach out and wrap themselves around his waist, pulling his body closer. His lips, however, didn't come any nearer.

My mind was racing, again. Any rational thought was pushed out by what was happening, the incredible signals my body was pumping out pushing aside all else.

"Kiss me."

His lips pressed more firmly against my own. The pleasure coursed through my body like a bullet.

I pulled him closer to me, wanting more of him. I felt his abs pressing against my own. Then, his toned chest touched mine between the fabric of our shirts. His hands on the back of my head pulled me into the kiss even more, and I felt his tongue probing tentatively at my lips. I opened my mouth slightly, sending my own tongue out to met his.

Electric barely describes the sensations I felt as our tongues touched for the first time. Explosive doesn't even come close. I felt like a star had just exploded in my head, a massive super nova of feelings and sensations overwhelmed me, and I breathed a small whimper through our kiss.

Whether he heard me or not, I didn't know, nor did I really care.

I let my tongue retreat back into my mouth, and his surged forward to find it. Our mouths were now completely open and locked together. My hands had drifted up to his shoulder, and were now gently kneading the flesh between the blades. He let out a gently moan, stroking the hair on the back of my neck gently. I reciprocated the moan, pulling his body more firmly into my own.

This time, the kiss felt like it lasted centuries, but really only lasted minutes.

When he finally broke it, we both sighed contently. We continued to hold each other, leaning against the door I only moments before wanted so desperately to flee out thru. He smiled gently.

"Well," he asked, his voice soft and sounding content, "how was it?"

I smiled back at him.

"Blake," I said, as gently as possible, "if kisses could kill, that one would have wiped out several major cities."

We both choked back a laugh at that. He lowered his arms from my shoulders, slipping them under my armpits, and pulling me into him. I hugged back, never wanting him to be out of his grasp again.

But, there was still one last thing I needed to get off my mind. Up till now, the idea hadn't even let itself be known that it was floating around in my brain. Now, with my mind settling after several hours of emotional turmoil, it found it's way to my voice.



"Can I...stay with you tonight, please?"

Stay on the look out for the next Chapter of Killing Loneliness