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It was like being in a dream.
Every last ounce of reality around me seemed so fleeting to me that night. Nothing short of a UFO landing on the front lawn could hold my focus still for more than a few seconds at a time. And even that could have only succeeded in holding it for a few moments more. I am SO in love! Owwwie...I can barely stand it! Owww, my heart!
I've never loved the ache of Tyler's absence with more passion than I did sitting at the dinner table with my mom and Gramms that night...both of them wondering what the heck I was grinning about. Hehehe, I dunno. I just...I couldn't help it. It was like my whole body ticklish, sensitive to the simplest of happy thoughts. I was so wrapped up in the fantasy of what it's gonna be like, being able to kiss those soft and angelic lips again...that my mom kept having to call out to me to wake me out of my daze. I almost let my dinner get cold. I was just sitting there, staring off into space, my fork hovering over a mound of rapidly cooling macaroni and cheese. It was hard to concentrate on anything at all.
"Did you study for your last final, Ariel?" My mom asked. "Ariel?"
"Your last final exam? Did you study?"
"Oh...uh hunh..." I said. I tried to shake myself free from my wandering thoughts, but after one or two forkfuls of food, a flash of Tyler's smile crossed my mind. I thought back to the feel of his skin on my skin, and his tender weight as he laid on top of me, and the feel of his slippery tongue on me as he sucked me into his mouth for the first time.
I felt this rush of tingles crawl up from my toes and quickly rise up to my shoulders, bringing an infatuated and numbing sensation up the sides of my neck and behind my ears. It felt so good that it caused me to smile again. Like...from ear to ear. It seemed awfully silly. I thought about what I must look like to my mom at the other end of the table, and I giggled to myself. I hope I wasn't blushing too bad. It's already hard enough just to keep from sliding out of my chair as it is.
I noticed my Gramms peeking at me a few times, and I tried to sit up straight and act right. I think I was being 'backwards' again. I didn't want that.
The first few times she looked at me, I think she thought that I was just being a goofy Gus or somethin'. So she sorta grinned a little bit herself...which only worked to make things much MUCH worse when it came to me holding the giggles in. Hehehe, oh God! It's like the throbbing of my heart moved down into my stomach now!
If it moves any lower, I'm gonna have to excuse myself and take another 'shower'. Hehehe!
But then...I noticed something different in her expression. Maybe I was letting my dreamy sighs get too far out of control. Maybe my heart was pounding too hard in my chest. Or maybe she just took notice of the way my booty was wiggling uncontrollably in my seat, causing it to squeak every now and then as my feet bounced energetically underneath the table. Whatever it was, I could see her wheels turning. I mean, I only had one activity today. I went to Tyler's house. That was it. And she knew that I wasn't this giddy and weird when I left this morning.
I think she started getting suspicious of me and my over the top good mood, but as she looked over to my mom, who seemed to not really be paying much attention at the time...she fought the urge to say anything.
I don't know...I couldn't tell if Gramms had a good look on her face, or a bad look on her face. I didn't know what to think. I just tried to hurry up and finish my dinner so I could get away from the table and go back to my room where I could 'wiggle' in peace.
I was the first to clean my plate, and asked if I could be excused. Nobody gave me any issue about it, so I hurried over to the sink to rinse my dishes out and put them in the dishwasher. Then I tried my best not to actually gallop out of the room like a horse running from a burning barn or something! I didn't know if I could hold my smile back from them for another second! My cheeks were itching from the strain of it all! I actually started laughing before I eve got halfway up the steps. It just...it felt so AWESOME! I'm going all mushy on the inside again. But I don't care. I LIKE this feeling! I need it like I need air.
I don't ever want this magical sensation to end. Not ever...
I have to admit that I kinda lied about...you know...studying for my last final. I mean, I did....um...sorta. But, I was so worried about things before going to Tyler's house yesterday, and so elated when I came home afterward, that my brain was stuck in a total party mode, and it just wouldn't settle down again.
But who needs tests anyway? Who needs anything? I've got my blue eyed angel! Hehehe! He's my boyfriend now!
Wow...it still sounds so weird to me to be able to say that to myself. Hehehe! Ugh...there go the tickles again.
I really wish that I could talk to him. That I could be near him. Like...right now. I just...I want to feel his body heat mingling with mine again. I want to kiss him some more. I want to stare at his hot body until my freakin' retinas burn out from the sensual magnificence of it all.
I STILL can't believe that I saw him naked today! My poor little post-virgin mind just can't seem to process that! Even now!
Awwww...and he was beautiful too. More than I ever could have imagined.
I'm sighing to myself out loud again, aren't I? I'm such a dork...
I thought it might stop after a while, but it didn't. I couldn't sleep. Hardly at all. Every time I thought about Tyler I got a tummy ache and had to roll over on my stomach. But it wasn't a bad tummy ache, though. It was more like...umm...like little fireworks. It made me shiver inside, and I had to use my hands to smoosh my face back together, because I couldn't STAND to keep smiling like that! It was seriously starting to hurt now. Wow...whatever my sweetheart did to me before, he just made it a million times worse.
When I woke up the next morning, I think my body was thankful for a break from the emotional chaos that I had been putting it through. But...as soon as I rubbed my eyes and turned over on my side to get up...the tickles started all over again. Gosh, I don't know if I can get through a whole 'nother day of this.
I didn't want to linger around for too long though. I don't know if Tyler's gonna come back over to walk to school with me this morning or not. But if he is, I at least want to look my best. I took a quick shower and dried my hair as best as I could so it wouldn't look all damp and weird when Tyler came knocking. I don't know. I kept playing with it, but my hair looked strange today. Kinda messy. I hope he doesn't notice. I should totally start wearing a hat on days like this.
Note to self....buy a hat....
I dressed up as nicely as I could, and I cleaned my sneakers off with a clean cloth so they'd be all cool and shiny. Then I went down to breakfast, where Gramms had made ham and eggs with toast and orange juice. I don't know how she can get up every morning and put a whole breakfast together every single morning. It seems like it would be so exhausting to me.
My mom was just finishing her plate and her coffee, and she said, "You're looking awfully spiffy today, Ariel."
"I do?" I'm glad she said that. Because I was feeling really self conscious about what I was wearing. Nothing in my closet seemed to fit what I was feeling today. I guess I was overanalyzing.
She asked, "Are you going somewhere after finals today?"
"Well, you were so dressed up, I thought maybe you were going out with your friends or something."
Just having her say that made me think about racing back over to Tyler's house and licking him all over!
I got a bit nervous, and I said, "Oh...no. I mean, I hadn't planned to. I just...wanted to look...'spiffy'." My mom wrinkled up her forehead with a confused look, so I lowered my gaze down to my breakfast plate and tried to keep from shaking too bad.
Finally, she said, "Ok. Well, I've got to get moving before I'm late." She got up from the table and said, "Oh, Ariel? I got you some of that pineapple juice you asked me for. It's in the fridge." That caught me by surprise, and before I could stop myself, a little snicker escaped from the back of my nose, and I had to hurry up and swallow a mouthful of food before I spit it out on the table. "What? What'd I say?" She asked.
I giggled a bit more. I couldn't help it. I said, "Nothing. Thanks, Mom."
"You're being awfully goofy these days, kiddo."
"I know." I said, a few giggles still rattling around inside of my chest. She gave me a kiss on the cheek, grabbed her stuff, and left out the back door. Gramms was getting ready to ask me how breakfast was, but before she could even get the first two or three words out of her mouth, I heard the doorbell ring! She gasped in shock as I suddenly shot up from the table and nearly knocked my chair over. I think I scared her. "Omigod! He's here! I HAVE TO BRUSH MY TEETH!!!!"
"You have to what?" She asked, one hand still clutching her heart from the surprise.
"Gramms, can you answer the door for me? Please?" I whined.
"Well....alright..." She wiped her hands off on a dish towel and started to walk out of the kitchen, but I jumped in front of the doorway...startling her once again. "Ariel! What on Earth...?"
"Nooooo, Gramms! Not right now!" I said. "Ummmm...um um umm...wait for like ten seconds! Count to ten. No wait! Count to fifteen! Then go and open the door! Ok? No wait...fifteen might be too long. Count to ten. Wait! How fast do you count?" I didn't give her a chance to answer. "Ten! Count to ten, ok? Thank you, Gramms!" I turned and started to bolt up the stairs! "Ok! You can start counting now!" I yelled back. I hope she doesn't count too fast. I should have a stop watch or something to give her so she doesn't count too fast.
Note to self...buy Gramms a stop watch...
I ran into the bathroom and probably broke some kind of tooth brushing record once I got in there. I made sure to gargle with the spearmint mouthwash, but I was trembling so hard that when I tilted my head back I nearly choked myself to death! I lunged forward and spit it out into the sink, coughing and sputtering like a madman! Ugh! I'm such a dummy! Did I get any on my shirt? Yes? No? Ok, I'm good to go. Good. Very good.
I heard Gramms call me from downstairs. "Ariel? Your friend, Tyler, is here."
I checked the mirror. I teased my hair for another second or two. Made sure there was no toothpaste around my lips. Smoothed out my clothes. Checked my hair again. Stupid hair. today of ALL days....
Then I tried to control my heavy breathing as best as I could before dashing out of the bathroom and coming to a screeching halt at the top of the stairs.
And then...there he was. My angel.
There isn't a day that goes by where Tyler doesn't get more and more beautiful than the day before. His hair was perfect. I wish I could get mine to do that. I think it was even a little more blond than before. Or maybe his eyes were a deeper shade of blue. Maybe a little bit of both.
He looked up at me, and I think my heart scattered to the other side of my chest in an attempt to run away from the unmerciful power of that amazing grin. I stumbled a bit as I missed a step and fell forward with a thump. Luckily, I held onto the wall and regained my smooth composure right away. He didn't see that, did he? Wait...duh! Of course he did. He's looking right AT me!
I saw Tyler stifle a little laugh, but I fought through my blush anyway. I was so happy to see him that it just didn't matter. I don't mind a little humiliation if it means a chance to hold him just one more time. "Tyler? Hey. I wasn't expecting you." I said. That was about as cool as I could make it sound.
"No? Well, 'surprise' then." He said.
I was melting inside. My knees were so weak that I wasn't sure that I'd make it any further down those stairs without breaking my neck. I made sure to take my time.
My Gramms? She was completely bewildered by my abnormal behavior. At least...she was at first.
When I got to the bottom of the stairs, Tyler and I stood face to face. He's not really that much taller than me, but it's enough where I have to tilt my head back a bit to look him in the eye. Especially when we were standing this close.
Our chests were almost touching. My heart felt like it was banging hard at my ribs, trying to reach out and travel those last few inches to connect to his again. He was soooo gorgeous, and all I could think was..."I wonder if he can smell the minty mouthwash on my breath?"
We smiled at one another, neither one of us able to blink for fear that we might miss something awesome. But I think that it was a little too obvious, because my Gramms suddenly had that look in her eyes again. The one that made me really really nervous. The kind of look that totally strips you down in front of the world. The kind of look God would give you if he walked into your room and caught you masturbating. I think I got a bit carried away. I need to stop that.
"I uhh....I have to get my backpack and stuff. It's got...all my notes and stuff in it, soooo..." I couldn't stop smiling at Tyler. But I made an effort to take a step or two back from him. The gravitational pull of his cute face was unbearable. I'm such a scared little chipmunk when he's around. But he's been so gentle with me so far...some of those quivering wiggles are beginning to work their way out of my system.
I'm a long way from being 'fearless' when it comes to the most amazing boy ever...but I think I'm heading in the right direction.
I had almost forgotten that I had finished talking, and was basically just standing there in front of Tyler, swooning with this big stupid grin on my face. I peeked over at my Gramms, who looked even more concerned than before.
I cleared my throat and said, "I'll...I'll be right back."
Tyler said, "I'm actually a bit early today. There's no big rush. We can hang out for a few minutes if you want."
Oh wow! Oh wow! Oh...oh WOW! I think I know what that means. My hands began to tremble again, and my chest began to violently shake too, but with two different rhythms. I looked at my Gramms again, and she turned away to quietly walk back in the kitchen without saying another word. I smiled at Tyler bashfully and said, "Umm...m'kay. If...if you want...." My voice squeaked a little, but as always, Tyler thought it was adorable.
See? See why I feel so safe? No matter what I do, or how much of a klutz I am, he just keeps on loving me more. How did I even find this boy? I feel like a princess in a Disney movie.
Wait...that's um....way too gay a description. But quite accurate, I assure you.
Tyler was walking soooo close behind me once we reached the top of the stairs. I head him giggling quietly to himself, and before we could get to my room, he was reaching out to wrap his loving arms around my middle from behind. "Hehehe, Tyler..." I whispered, playfully swatting at his arms as we sort of 'waddled' our way into my bedroom.
Tyler leaned down and kissed me softly on the side of the neck. "I missed you." He said.
"Hehehe...ummmm....I missed you too."
"Yeah?" He said kissing me again.
"Uh huh..." I grinned. "I couldn't sleep. I sorta...think about you. Like....like a LOT."
Tyler gave me a tight squeeze, forcing the air out of my lungs with a little whimper, then he turned my around to look me right in the eye. My arms moved on instinct alone, reaching up to drape themselves over Tyler's shoulders, dangling over on either side of his neck. That's when he leaned in to kiss my eager lips, and I found myself lost in his embrace all over again. Like it was the very first time. I am NEVER going to get tired of being able to kiss him this way.
Then, just as I was getting to a point where I could silence my thoughts and just have fun with it...Tyler broke the kiss, and he winked at me with a smile. I didn't know what was happening there, but he stepped away from me and walked towards my bedroom door. He closed it quietly so my Gramms couldn't hear it downstairs, and had this really wicked gleam in his eye. It made me extremely hot, but it kinda worried me too. I whispered, "Tyler...what are you doing...?" He shushed me, and then pushed until he heard the door click. "Nooooo...what if she comes up here?"
"I thought about that. And if she comes up here and knocks on the door, I've got the perfect plan."
"What plan?" I asked.
"We can just pretend that we were up here having hot gay SEX!" He giggled.
"What??? Nooooo!" I said, grinning wildly. Tyler quickly moved in, and he kissed me deeply on the lips again. This time he lifted me off of my feet, and gave me a little spin before we both fell on my bed and continued right where we left off.
Tyler smiles when he kisses me. That's soooo dang cute to me. You know? It's like...he's just enjoying it so much. I've never had anyone enjoy me so much. And I know that Gramms was downstairs and that I couldn't be late for school, or any of that stuff. But....those lips had so much love in their tender suction. So much emotion. No matter when or how Tyler kissed me, it was always just right. It was more than I could handle. Each and every time.
I heard a whimper or two coming from me, and the second was louder than the first. It always caught me by surprise. It was just..this weird, bubbly, feeling inside of me that would instantly boil over with Tyler's touch. Still, I didn't want us to get caught. So I actually kind of rolled over on top of Tyler and kissed him with even more passion than before. It was so awesome to forget myself for a few minutes. To block out everything else in existence, and sacrifice my own identity to be a part of 'us'. That made me so happy that another high pitched whine escaped as Tyler grabbed my butt and pulled me tight up against him. We were both so hard that it made us dizzy. Then again, maybe it came from breathing so heavy for so long. I could never tell. My body was going through too much turmoil for me to pinpoint it for sure.
I was starting to get that tingly feeling in my boner, and had to fight to slow myself down. I think Tyler could tell that I was close, because he slowed down with me. He just sorta...held me. Our lips connected. The quiet creaking of the springs in my mattress as I enjoyed the feeling of being horizontal with him again...
"Ariel? Don't you be late for your finals now. You boys get a move on." Gramms hollered from downstairs.
I didn't want to stop kissing, but I hollered back, "Ok, Gramms! We're coming!"
Tyler and I smiled at each other, and shared one more lingering kiss before having to untangle ourselves again. Sighhhh...I wish I just had, like...a club house or a tree house or something out back so Tyler and I could be more alone.
Note to self...invest in a tree house...
I hated to get off of him. My body missed him already. And WHY am I still shaking? He's not a stranger for goodness sake!
I almost forgot my notes and stuff, but Tyler was smart enough to remind me. We had to both make sure that we weren't...um...poking out in front. I was kind of embarrassed for a moment, but Tyler asked me, "Do you want me to help?"
"Hehehe, NO! You've done enough already." I giggled.
He said, "Ok. We'll just...think of something else."
There was a silence, but every time our eyes met, we started cracking up all over again. I told him to stop it, but he said, "What??? Hehehe, what am I doing?"
"You know what you're doing! Quit smiling at me, you're makin' it worse!"
"Your Gramms is going to come looking for us if we don't go downstairs soon."
"I KNOW! So....quit it!" I giggled again.
"Quit WHAT? I'm not doing anything!" Then he's like, "Ok, turn around. That way you won't have to look at me. Will that work?"
"Ok. But no funny business." I don't even know why I said it. Because the second my back was turned to him, he rushed up behind me and started tickling my ribs until I laughed out loud! Hahaha, he knew all of the spots where I was most ticklish! I thought only my MOM knew those spots! "Hahaha, stop! Stop! Tyler...omigod...!!!"
Then it happened.
Tyler was behind me, holding me still while he tickled me...and I was squirming and wincing involuntarily, trying to hold myself together...
And I sorta bent forward, holding my stomach...and Tyler was still hard...
I was pushing my butt back against Tyler's hardness, and moving around in all the commotion...I think it was an unexpected moment for the both of us. I actually felt it, though. It was rubbing up against my cheeks, and it kinda felt like it slid in between them for a moment or two. An electric shock surged through me, and we both sort of stood up really fast and moved away from one another.
It's not like I was scared or freaked out or anything. It was just...something that I wasn't expecting.
We were still half grinning, attempting to laugh off the whole thing as nothing special. Or maybe to pretend that it hadn't happened at all. But as Tyler's face turned from a light pink to a deep red...I knew that he must have experienced the same little sensual jolt of pleasure as well.
That made me feel SO yummy and sugary sweet inside! Hehehe! He's just too cool sometimes!
Both consumed with a sheepish bout of playful shame...Tyler and I both directed our eyes off of each other and down at our feet, trading a few nervous chuckles as we struggled to find away to get past the awkward moment and somehow get back to a sense of normality. Surprisingly, I spoke up first.
"I think...I think we should go. Gramms gets anxious sometimes."
Tyler nodded, and he said, "Yeah. Ok, that's cool."
We stood there for another few seconds, and even though I was REALLY uncomfortable with saying it...I said it anyway. "I love you soooo much, Tyler. You make it hard for me to breathe...."
He ran his delicate fingers through my hair, and somehow, with one stroke of his hand...he effortlessly guided it to the level of perfection that I was trying to achieve all morning in that bathroom mirror. And he said, "I love you too, Ariel. I love you too."
Gramms called out my name again, and we decided to hurry downstairs before she made a mission out of checking up on us. I got my notes, and gave Tyler a kiss. I grabbed my backpack. Gave Tyler another kiss. Hehehe! It's so weird, being able to just...kiss him whenever I wanted to. I LOVE that! And then we hurried downstairs.
Tyler, always the gentleman, said, "Bye, Gramma Dalton!"
She smiled and said, "Bye, Tyler. Best of luck to you boys." However, before I could leave, she called out my name.
She gave me a look...and I was impatient with wanting to go be with Tyler some more, but I was sure that something was bothering her. Then, she just gave me a tilted grin, and she said, "Knock 'em dead today, kid. Ok?"
I was like, "Ok. Ummm...can I go?" I didn't want to be rude. It's just...she was cutting into my quality 'Tyler time'. That's all.
She shuffled me off with a wave of her oven mitt, and I was back out in the sunshine with Tyler in no time. Wow...he's even MORE blond when he's outside! That's like a big ol' magic trick, you know?
We walked to school together, and after all this time, I'm still in awe of him. How can he be this cute without even trying. He has soooo much to talk about. He just fascinates me on so many levels that I don't even realize that I'm being super quiet, and then I feel like I have to catch up. But it's ok. Because he always gave me time. Always.
Plus, I kept thinking about how amazing he tasted when I had his long, hard, inches in my MOUTH! Hehehe, which kept me blushing, but it was kinda neat too.
I hope he can't, like...see me having sexy thoughts about him when he looks into my eyes. Ugh! That would be soooo humiliating. I'm a pervert, I think. Who knows?
Today was one of those days when I wish that my house was further away from school. The walk was way too short for my tastes. If I had been running late, that stupid building would have seemed like it was a million miles away. But, try to spend time with the Tyler Jordan...and it's practically across the street. Stupid...er...life.
We went in, and Tyler asked if I wanted to wait the last few minutes before my test with him in the West wing library. But I told, "Actually, I'm kinda not allowed in there anymore."
"Not allowed?" He asked me. "What the heck does that mean?"
"Well...Mr. Simms says I can't come back. There was...umm...an incident..." I said.
"Hehehe, ah. Gotchya."
"You would think that I knocked those seven bookcases over on purpose...."
I was pouting when I said it, but it only made Tyler laugh out loud. "Dude, you are a hazard and a half, you know that?" I held back a shy smile, and he said, "I'll be waiting for you when you finish up today. K?"
"K..." I said. I giggled to myself, and Tyler couldn't help but smile.
"What is it?"
"Nothing. I'm just...getting all wiggly again. You have a peculiar effect on me." I said.
"Good. As it should be." Gosh...if only I could kiss him right then and there without anybody seeing, I'd be the happiest boy on the face of the Earth. I really would.
Then...I saw his expression change. It was just a little thing, but considering that I mentally record every last detail of every last second that Tyler and I spend together...I noticed it. His smile seemed to 'dim'. Just a little bit. And it felt like he retreated from me a little bit. Shriveling up in a matter of seconds. What happened? What did I do?
But it wasn't me.
I followed his line of sight over my shoulder, and I saw those other two boys that Randy and Ryan know. Ummm...Matt and Sam, I think. I don't see them too much these days, but I remember them hanging out every now and then. The strange thing is, once they saw Tyler, they kinda lost a little bit of their own cheerful glow. I couldn't understand it. Come to think of it, Tyler has always had this really weird reaction to those two. Even on the very first day that Randy took me to meet him for the first time in that arcade, they had this confusing level of tension between them. I wonder what happened to make something as simple as passing each other in the halls such an uncomfortable experience.
They're both pretty cute, Sam and Matt. I hope he's not, like...harboring some kind of dumb crush on them or something. Because I swear that I'll run down to the cafeteria, grab the biggest butcher knife I can find, and slice them all to PIECES if they look at my Tyler funny!
Anyway, they walked by without saying a word. And as soon as they were gone, Tyler seemed to brighten up again. I asked him if everything was ok? And he just said, "Yeah. Just thinking. That's all." I didn't know whether to believe him or not, but before I could think on it for too long, he reached out and poked at one of my tickle spots in my tender side.
"Hehehe! Quit it!" I said, twitching from the sensation.
"Good luck on your test. Alright? I'll catch ya later." He said, and I hesitated for a moment before getting my legs to obey me and walk away. I just...I wanted to share some kind of intimate contact before saying goodbye. But I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't be seen by everybody around us. It sucked. It sucked sooooo bad! I was so desperate for some kind of contact, that I reached out a shaky hand to touch his elbow. Is that not the goofiest thing EVER??? I mean, who touches an elbow?
I'd prolly turn to jelly if Tyler were to touch MY elbow. But I'm a freak of nature. So...no surprise there.
Tyler gave me a smile, and he said, "See ya."
I'm like, "See ya. Don't leave without me, k?"
"I wouldn't dream of it."
Our eyes stayed connected as I backed away from him, but he had to warn me as I nearly backed into a drinking fountain. I stopped just in time to avoid another 'incident'! I swear....I need, like...side mirrors on my shoulders or something.
Note to self...buy shoulder side mirrors...umm, if they make them, that is.
Anyway....ok, I've gotta get focused now. I'll take my test, I'll concentrate on the questions...and then...when I'm done, my baby will be waiting for me.
He's mine. All mine. NOBODY else's! He's my 'angel'....and he always will be.
How could he be anything other than perfect? Right?