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It wasn't a 'pain' really. It was more like this...slightly uncomfortable stretching that I felt as Tyler slid further into me. A warmth. A little friction. But it's not like he was hurting me. In fact, I kinda liked it. It felt...hehehe, 'naughty', but neat.
I slid a few more inches into me, and I heard Tyler gasp slightly from having my body engulf him the way it did. I stopped immediately, and looked at the surprised expression on his face. I wasn't quite sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, to be honest. I was still too little, wasn't I? Was I hurting him? Was I messing this up? I could barely get enough breath in me to do much more than whisper to him, but I asked, "Is this ok?"
Tyler took a deep breath, and placed both of his hands on my thighs, rubbing them gently as he tried to steady himself. He gave me a bit of a smile, and he said, "You're....um....a bit 'snug'..." And he giggled nervously for a moment before looking me in the eye again. "...It's perfect, Ariel. You're beautiful."
Oh God...he really thinks I'm beautiful? I was so overwhelmed by hearing him say those few words, that I sank further down on his shaft, and eventually found myself resting my cheeks on his lap. After the initial struggle with our first penetration, I thought the rest would take just as much patience and effort. But it didn't. The further he slid into my quivering body, the better it felt. And once I was able to rest on his smooth legs, his most private part lodged so deeply within my sucking walls...I felt him touch and press against something inside of me that nearly made me see stars from the contact! My legs trembled and my stomach tightened up...and all of a sudden, I was so hard that I started leaking all over the place like a madman. What was that??? Oh gosh....it was like...having a really strong orgasm...but not. Because I wasn't squirting yet or anything. I just felt...my whole body come alive all at once, and I couldn't think of anything ever ever EVER feeling better than I did at that very moment!
I looked up at Tyler's headboard for a second, attempting to adjust to feeling so full inside. Then I wiggled my bottom a little bit, making sure that he had a little bit of room in there. Geez, the very top of his boner was, like...I dunno....it kept rubbing back and forth against something. And every time he touched it, it felt like my birthday! Hehehe! I couldn't get enough of the sensation. It just tickled too much.
I looked down at my blond angel...and he looked back up at me. Hehehe, I sort of bit the corner of my lip as I giggled sheepishly at being in such a...vulnerable position. Was it weird? I hope it wasn't weird. It didn't feel weird. At least, not to me.
Tyler smiled at me, and that made my wiener throb all of a sudden. Like...it jumped, and that caused my hole to tighten around him again...making him tense up for a second before being able to get comfortable again. I must have been gripping him so hard. I could tell by the look on his face. But the more my booty wiggled on top of him, the better it felt. Soon, I couldn't even control myself. That 'feeling'...it was like...this really slippery feeling in my guts and it made me want to call out his name, just for making me feel so...special. You know? But I wasn't quite sure how to express it at the time. So I just looked down and I said, "...Hi. Hehehe..."
Tyler smiled at me, and said, "Hey..." I felt a little embarrassed looking him in the eye while he was...you know...inside me and stuff. But he was darn cute that I found it hard to turn away. That's when Tyler reached up with his hand, and he ran it through my hair. "You ok?" He asked.
"Um...hehehe....uh huh..." I blushed.
This look came over my sweetie's face, and with the most amazing, most awesome, tone of voice ever...he said, "I love you, Ariel."
I felt a little choked up when I heard it. I didn't want Tyler to see me make a big baby out of myself, so I leaned forward to kiss him hard on the lips in order to make sure that he couldn't see my eyes. "I love you too..." I whimpered helplessly. God! That boy had me soooooo HOT for him right now! How can he be so HOT???
Then I made the mistake of moving in a certain way that caused Tyler to hit that little place in me again, and it was like...'HELLO! Birthday!' Hehehe! I sucked in my breath a bit, and it made me giggle. Was Tyler doing this on purpose? Or was it an accident? I don't know. I couldn't tell. I never had anybody...um...make love to me before....
Oh God, just thinking about those words...'make love'...I think that made my desperation even worse.
I didn't know what to do with myself, and it looked like Tyler was a bit overwhelmed by it all. So I just...I kissed his lips, and I felt his hands caressing my back, and I began to move my hips back and forth on him. Slowly at first, but soon with more urgency. I don't know what came over me, but I felt him repeatedly jabbing at that naughty place, and it drove me so dang crazy that I began really grinding on him down there. Geez...what WAS that??? Why did this feel sooooooo GOOD! What was that noise? Was that me? Am I really whimpering like that? Who cares, I couldn't stop now. I didn't even know what this was building up to, but I just got harder and more flustered and more hot and bothered and...and I...I couldn't stop myself. Especially when Tyler started panting and gripping my ass cheeks as hard as he could. He looked like he was just trying to hold out for as long as he could, but...I don't think it worked. Because before we even got started really, Tyler's face scrunched up and he said,"Ahhh...FUCK!!!" And he clung to me with both arms as his stomach got all flat and tight, and I heared a little 'snapping' noise behind me as his toes curled up and he held me still on his lap. He was breathing soooo hard, and I think he spermed in me. I wasn't sure at first, but I think I could feel it. He throbbed inside of me, and I could feel him swelling up and tightening and jumping a few times while he tried to catch his breath. I'm sure he came. I could feel the slippery stuff as I wiggled my butt a bit more. It was a lot too. If I was a girl, I prolly would have gotten so pregnant from a load like that. Hehehe!
I wish it had lasted longer. But...I couldn't stop smiling. Tyler made me his boy. He made love to me. You can't get any more official than that, right?
I think I kept wanting a little more. I kept moving my butt around some more, but he was starting to shrink a bit. And he wasn't hitting that little place in me anymore. Plus, I noticed him wince a few times. I think he was sensitive down there. Hehehe, he didn't say anything, but I could tell. He tried to hold me still, but I teased him a little bit anyway. 'Cause...Tyler's really cute when he frowns like that.
There was a moment or two when I thought he went to sleep on me. Hehehe, I didn't mind. He looked so adorable, laying there with his eyes closed. I would have let him doze off, but he was too cute for me to help myself. I rubbed my nose against his, and when he smiled I had to kiss him on the lips. I HAD to! Ahhhh, I can't STAND how gorgeous he is!!!! Gorgeous and blond and yummy and sweet and totally MINE! He said he loved me. Everybody heard that, right? Yeah. He loves me. He's actually IN love with me! And he's mine, so nobody else in the whole world can say that! Tyler Jordan...THE Tyler Jordan...loves ME! JUST me! What are the odds?
I don't know how I was able to leave Tyler's house that day. I mean, he was sooooo sweet to me. He kept kissing me. I mean, like...a LOT! I kept giggling until my stomach hurt, be he smothered me with kisses anyway. I think he likes my butt. That's what it is. Hehehe, GOOD! I want him to like my butt. I wonder if we can do that stuff like....all the time. I've done stuff with a finger or two, but...this was totally different. More sexy. More alive. Not only did it make me feel totally cool inside, but just being able to look down at the strain and pleasure on Tyler's face was an added bonus that I had never thought of before. We were...'connected', you know? And it didn't hurt at all. Tyler would never hurt me. I know that now. I just felt...'tickles' inside. Really strong, really sexy, really naughty, 'tickles'. I wanted to feel that again. Like...right now. Like....I mean like...RIGHT now!
I think I had only gotten a block away from Tyler's house before I began to miss him. Is that crazy? Am I going to turn into some kind of a 'stranger danger' creep over this? Seriously...I almost considered turning around and going back to Tyler's house for more kisses. I really did. I mean, I spent the whole afternoon with him. Wasn't that enough? I mean he did...um...pleasure me with his mouth again until I was all squirmy and whiney on his bed. Tyler is soooo good at doing that. I don't know how I would survive having him do that to me all the time. His tongue swirling around me, his hands rubbing my thighs and tummy the entire time....it takes some real focus to not pass out in the middle of it. Gosh, I love you SO much, baby! I really really do!
I don't know. I feel weird. It's like...I can still feel him inside me. I want him. I want more. I hadn't even made it home yet, and I just...I...UGH! What is he doing right now? Is he thinking about me? Is he eating some...um...toast or something? Is he drinking a soda? He'll burp if he drinks too fast. And I bet it'll be the cutest burp ever, too. I should go back. I miss him. I miss my Tyler. This is insane. I just...I need to talk to him. I need to hear from him. I need to see his face. Just for a minute. I wanna look at those bright blue eyes and melt all over the floor.
How long has it been? Fourteen minutes. Is that long enough? Can I call him now? Can I visit him? Can I...um...can I put a secret camera in his house and watch him in the shower? Where IS he right now??? Why can't I be with him? I was making myself so pouty and weird over this, but...I missed my sweetheart! I missed his smile and his touch and his voice and his scent and everything that made me fall so madly in love with him. Why can't I have that all the time?
I think I know why people invented marriage now. You just can't stand to be away from someone that you love sooooo much! It sucks. It hurts. I should call him. Just for a second. I....I should call Tyler right now.
How long has it been?
FUCK!!!! Oops...sorry. I cussed.
I promised myself that I would calm down and quit being so freaky about this. But by the time the first hour away from Tyler had passed, my addiction to his very presence had almost boiled totally out of my control. I kept looking at the clock. I kept thinking...maybe if Tyler sent me an email or a text message or something, then I could just 'answer' him, and I won't look so obsessive. You know? That's what I was thinking, but it just made things even worse. Because I found myself checking my email and my cell phone every two or three minutes, JUST to see if he was thinking about me. And...he wasn't. At least, he didn't say that he was. Every time I saw my inbox empty...it was like another dagger in my heart. Then I finally GOT an email, and my heart leapt up into my throat to see what it was...and it was some STUPID thingy for penis enlargement! FUCK!!!! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!!! I'm sorry...just....just...FUCK!
Ok...if Tyler doesn't send me a message in the next five minutes, I'm gonna send him one. I'll go first. Maybe that's what he wants. Maybe he's waiting for me to say something before he does. No wait...I'll call him. Then I can hear his sexy voice in my ear and stuff. In five minutes. Starting now.
Has it been five minutes yet?
I'll just call. No...I'm gonna look creepy if I call him. I'll write a message instead. No wait...that might seem impersonal, won't it? Or...maybe I should just...
Ok. I'm gonna be GOOD! I'm not going to bother Tyler and get all stalker crazy on him just because of what happened earlier today. I'm going to ruin everything by being so clingy. I need to back off. I'll wait...until tomorrow. Yeah, that's it. I'm gonna put my cell phone in the dresser drawer, and I'm going to turn off my email...and I'm NOT going to torture myself anymore tonight. I'm being dumb.
I know...I'll go see him tomorrow. That's what I'll do. I'll just...I'll show up at his doorstep in the morning or something, and I'll ask him if he wants to go for a walk or something. That's not creepy, right? I can wait until tomorrow. I'm not a TOTAL geek or anything. Tyler will like that. He might even think it's kinda sweet, you know? Like...'spontaneous' and stuff. And he'll be surprised, and I'll look super cool, and then maybe we can...hehehe...'do it' again. Because...I really need that. Like, as soon as possible. He's good at it. We're both good at it, I think.
So I tossed and I turned and I tried to keep my mind busy with YouTube vids and video games. Gramms could tell that I had something big on my brain, but she didn't bother me about it. I think I touched myself more than was necessary tonight too. I couldn't help it. I kept thinking about Tyler being all hard and wedged inside of me, and the taste of his breath as I wiggled on top of him...making him feel so awesome. I couldn't stop thinking about his hands on my thighs. Or his moans in my ear. Or the feel of his smooth thighs under my bottom as I got all 'bouncy' on him, or the way he looked at me with such tenderness and concern...his fingers brushing through my hair...when he told me he loved me. He truly loved me. Like...that part...? I liked that part a lot. And I liked having him carry me to his bedroom the way he did. And I liked...ugh...I just liked EVERYTHING! I'm SO in love! Why won't he call me or something??? Maybe I can call him and hear him say hello...and then I can hang up really quick. At least I get to hear his deep voice say hello.
No....no that would be silly. He's gonna KNOW it's me! He'll see my name on his phone. Unless...I go to find a pay phone or something...
No. I'm not gonna do that. I'm going to behave. I'll wait until tomorrow. The sooner I get to sleep, the sooner tomorrow will be here. It's about to be Spring Break. I'll have plenty of time to spend with my angel soon enough, right?
Ok then. I'm going to have some will power. Some self control.
Awwww...but I MISS him though!!!!!
He's my Tyler! Ok...ONE more time! I'm just going to check my email ONCE more to see if he said...like...'g'night' to me or something. Because, everybody has a few seconds to say goodnight just before they go to bed. Right? A FEW seconds! If he's thinking about me, and he says goodnight, then I'm gonna miss it. I just need to check.
FUCK! Oops....sorry, again. Ugh!
Ok...so maybe he doesn't go to bed this early. Maybe later. Ok...I'l keep the phone next to me. It'll tell me if he sends me anything. And then I'll say g'night too. And I'll say 'I love you'. And I'll just....I'll sleep better knowing that he was thinking about me. And he knows that I'm thinking about him too.
I tried to sleep, but the 'promise' of maybe having Tyler contact me kept me awake. I kept checking my phone. I couldn't stop. Was I losing my mind, or what? Did I do something wrong? It's probably because I was so dirty earlier in the day, isn't it? Tyler thinks I'm slutty or something. Why did I do that/ I should have waited. Or...or maybe I should have done more. Or...awww, man....I don't KNOW! What time is it? It's almost one in the morning. I just wish I could call him. I wish I could hear him say my name. Just once. It would make my whole life better if I could just hear Tyler's voice moan my name just once.
Somehow...I was able to get sleepy enough to finally stop being so weird about all of this. I don't think it was a restful sleep, really, but as long as my hair looked nice in the mirror the next morning...I thought it would be ok. I'm not TOO ugly, am I?
There was a voice in the back of my head that said I should call Tyler and give him some warning that I was coming over to his house. But...that would ruin the surprise, you know? I wanted him to totally pick me up off of my feet and swing me around and say 'Omigod, Ariel! I had no idea that you were coming over! I love you!' That would be cool, right? And not...like...creepy? Well...not creepy, but...unexpected. I thought it would be cute. I just hope his mom's not home or anything. Because...you know...I want more sexy stuff. Hehehe! Lot's more!
Tyler's going to get so sick of seeing me. I don't want him to feel crowded by me or obligated to give over every last second of his day to making me happy. I just...I CAN'T stop thinking about him, and I don't know how long I can stay away from him without totally feeling like I want to throw up. Even now, I'm going to his house, totally unannounced...and it's like I can't get there fast enough. I don't want to miss a single moment of his life. I don't want him to miss a single moment of mine. I KNOW it sounds stupid, but I just...ARRRGH!!!! I can't breathe without him in my life. What did I do? How did things get so bad?
I felt a bit of anxiety as I was approaching Tyler's house. What if I rang the doorbell and he didn't want to see me? What if he was in the middle of eating lunch or something, and I was being some dumb intrusion on his day? I didn't know what to expect. I should have planned this better. I should have called him and asked if it was ok if I came over. Yeah...this was dumb of me. So dumb.
By the time I walked up to Tyler's front door, I was so jittery and weak in the stomach that I was surprised I was able to ring the doorbell at all.
I heard it sound out in his house...and I waited. I think I found it necessary to brace myself for when Tyler opened the door. He's really...um...sexy. You have to be 'ready' to see him, otherwise you just get all tongue tied and turn into a big ol' puddle right there at his feet. If you look at his big blue eyes and you're not breathing the right way, you'll faint. I know. It almost happened to me, like, a dozen times now.
I didn't get an answer. I was worried about ringing the doorbell again. I didn't want to seem impatient. But after waiting on his doorstep for a bit longer...I tried again.
Still no answer.
Oh no...was he not home? When was he coming back? Where's my Tyler? Probably out there in real life doing something awesomely cute, I'll bet. With other people who aren't me.
I waited for another few minutes, but for some reason, not having him answer me was so heartbreaking. Where was he? Where did my Tyler go?
Feeling a bit shaky in the legs, I just decided to sit down by Tyler's front door and wait for him to come back. I could have called him, I guess, but I didn't. I already felt like I was intruding on his life more than I should have. I should just...stick to the original plan and surprise him when he comes back. You know...if he comes back.
I don't know how long I sat there. I just kept thinking about Tyler and the time we spent together being...you know...naked and naughty and super in love. I wish he was home. I wish we were together. I'm so lonely without his heart beating in sync with mine like it was yesterday. I need him. I need my Tyler fix. God...I'm being so queer about all of this.
I started to hear a bit of thunder over my head, and the sky got a bit cloudy. But I didn't want to leave. I just knew that the second I got up, Tyler would come home and think that I didn't care about him enough to come see him. I mean, I just wanted some more...sexy stuff to happen. Where was he? I don't understand. I felt this little ache in the center of my heart, and I didn't know what to do. I can't wait another 24 hours. I won't make it. I need him so bad! Where's my Tyler.....?
It wasn't long after that I felt a few raindrops fall on my head. And then it started to get a bit worse, and I just...I didn't want to leave, but I was getting wet now. Should I go away? I should wait, right? He'll be home soon. I know he will. All I need is a kiss. Please, God...just let him come home so I can have one big deep French kiss on the lips. I won't ask for anything else! I promise!
"Hey! Ariel?" Came a voice from across the street, and I looked up to see Randy standing in his front door in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I said hello and all, but he was like, "Dude, what are you doing?" I told him that I was waiting for Tyler, which made me feel really weird inside, because it seemed like such a nerdy thing to say. But he told me that Tyler was doing stuff with his mom today, and he wasn't sure when he was going to be back.
My Tyler...he was....'busy'.
Why did that hurt so much? To know that he was busy. There was like this little 'pinch' that suddenly clamped itself to the side of my heart, and it wouldn't let go. I just...I didn't want to sound sad when I said it, but I was like, "Oh...ok..." And as I stood up on my feet, I felt the rain coming down harder on my head and shoulders. This whole situation just...sucked. Now I was getting wet, and Randy was looking at me like I was some kind of a weirdo. It just made things worse for me, you know?
He told me to come over and get out of the rain, but I didn't want to be any trouble. I felt bad about putting Randy in that situation. Especially since he was holding a tissue up to his nose and he looked like he wasn't feeling well. I didn't think it was cool for me to occupy his time when he was sick, or whatever.
Still...even though Tyler is my one and only dream boy...I can't really find the courage to ever tell Randy 'No'. There's something about him that will always hold its position as my very first love. Even with a red nose and being sick and sniffling and stuff...he's still soooooo cute! I don't think there will ever be a day where Randy can bend over and pick something up off of the floor without me staring at his ass. Like....ever. I'm never gonna cheat on my Tyler, but...sometimes Randy talks to me, and all I can think about is kissing him on the lips until we're both so breathless that we can't go on anymore. I guess some crushes linger on forever, whether you want them to or not.
"Do you need a towel or something?" He asked me. I wasn't really all that soaked from the rain outside, but...he was being really nice about...making me feel comfortable and stuff.
So I said, "Um...yeah. I mean, yes please." I thanked him and all...but sometimes, Randy looks at me like...like he thinks I'm really cute. It can be startling sometimes. It only lasts for a second or two...but it seems like an eternity. Randy shouldn't look at me like that. My heart can't take it. He's....he's just....
...Whatever. I should stop thinking like this. It's a bad thing.
We watched some TV and stuff, and Randy can be really easy to talk to sometimes. He sneezed a few times, and I really think he's coming down with something nasty, but he kept a smile on his face, just for me. He asked me what I was doing at Tyler's house. and...something made me feel 'safe' talking about...you know...my obsession. I felt kinda strange trying to put it into words, but as long as Randy was willing to sit there and listen to me...I figured, why not? I wasn't going to get a chance to blab about this to anybody else. I might as well tell Randy the truth. I was afraid. I was afraid because I think I love Tyler TOO much! I can't stop thinking about him and I can't be close to him and every time I think about him...it's like this serious PAIN in my heart appears, and only Tyler can cure it by holding me in his arms and kissing me on the lips. It's the ONLY fix for me! And I feel bad for putting all of that pressure on his shoulders, but...It's what I want. It's all I want.
I didn't tell Randy all of the dirty details and stuff. But I let him know that I was really CRAZY about Tyler, and that I didn't know what to do about it. I wasn't sure how to handle being this deeply in love with somebody else. I was so hot and bothered over him that I just...I was writhing and squirming in my seat just thinking about him. I wanted him! I wanted to feel him inside me again. I wanted to kiss his lips. I wanted to feel his hands on me. And I couldn't wait. I was trying...but I couldn't. I think I was getting a bit too chatty about the whole thing, and I noticed Randy wasn't talking much. "Oh...I'm sorry, Randy. Hehehe, I'm talking too much, aren't I? Sometimes I get Tyler on the brain and it's like...I can't shut up about him." He said that it was ok, but I know that I have to force myself to pipe down sometimes. "It's just...every minute away from him seems like a hundred hours! And every day seems like a million years! And even though I'm trying soooo hard to give him some space for a few days, it ends up only being a few hours, and...I just don't want him to end up hating me. That's all." He told me the I shouldn't feel weird about being so centered on Tyler all the time, and I guess he's right.
He said, "If you're in love with Tyler then be in love with Tyler. If you think about him, if he crosses your mind, even if it's a hundred times a day, tell him all one hundred times. Tyler will love it!"
"Are you sure?" I asked, and he said he was sure. I think he understands what I'm going through. He said that he was the same with Ryan, which I can kind of understand. Randy knows what it's like to be totally involved with someone. I guess I'm just learning for the first time. It's a bit scary.
I also think Randy is having a bit of trouble with his boyfriend being close to this other boy, Sean, from school. He looked like he was trying to make it seem like it was no big deal, but I could tell. Randy's eyes always lose a little bit of their glow when he's sad. Or when he's trying not to be. That Sean guy stinks. I swear, if I ever catching him coming anywhere NEAR my Tyler, I'm totally gonna throw my shoe at him.
Anyway, the rain finally let up, and to be honest, Randy had me so anxious to talk to Tyler again that I kind of wanted to leave. Not to mention that he really doesn't look like he's feeling too well. I certainly didn't want to catch anything.
I made sure to look across the street one more time to see if Tyler had come back yet. But...no lights on in the house. No car in the driveway. Ah well...
"Just remember...the next time you think about Tyler, and you get all fuzzy inside...TELL him! You're not going to overdo it. You can only make him happy."
"Either that, or he'll just laugh at me."
"Good. Laughing is good." He smiled.
I sighed and prepared to walk back home. "Thanks Randy. I know I probably sound pretty silly, but...Tyler just...he makes me feel good. Almost too good. He makes me feel like I want to...dance or something."
"Hahaha! Oh God...Ariel, I am seriously going to put you all over YouTube if I catch you doing a happy Tyler dance anywhere near me!"
"Hehehe...unh unh! Only Tyler gets to see." I said, and I heard him giggle, and cough a little, and then giggle some more as I left. Aww, I hope he feels better soon. We've all got to go to the carnival place tomorrow.
I thought about what Randy said, and he's right. I should just...send him a message or something. I'd do anything to make Tyler smile. I wasn't quite sure what to say. A million words came to mind. Sonnets of poetry. Love song lyrics. Expressions so deep that I wasn't sure if words would really even hint at what this feels like. But, finally, I just stopped walking and stood under a streetlight. Then I took out my phone...and I said the only thing in my head that made any sense at all.
"I Luv U..."
I sent it, and...and that was it. So...you know....there.
I can't believe I told Randy Stephens that I want to dance. I'm so weird...