Well, I see you came back. I hope you enjoy parts four and five of the story. I apologize for the time it took to post this. Life interruptus, if you know what I mean. As always, don't take what isn't yours and don't read what you shouldn't be reading. Other than that, Enjoy!

Knock knock knocking on Heaven's Door

Part 4

The next morning I woke up feeling energized and refreshed. Knowing that Scott was doing better and would be moving in with us soon made me feel great. I was thinking about our adventure in the bathroom as I was taking my shower and getting ready for work. He was on my mind during my whole shift. Finally, my workday was nearing the end and I said my goodbyes and punched out. I drove home and decided to take a quick shower and change before I went to see Scott. I left a note for my parents and was out the door in a record 15 minutes.

I knocked on the door to Scott's room, but got no reply. I gently opened the door and looked in. I was surprised to see that the bed was made, but no one was in the room. I looked around, and saw no indications that the room was occupied. I began to get nervous. I checked the door to be sure I was in the right room. I then headed out to the nurse station to inquire as to Scott's whereabouts. The nurse at the station checked the computer, and told me Scott had suffered a relapse late last night, and was moved back to intensive care. She could offer me no more information, and I turned and ran for the elevator.

When the elevator door opened, I ran for the nurses station outside of Intensive care. I found one of the nurses that had taken care of Scott before. I asked her where Scott was, and she informed me that his kidneys had shut down overnight, and he was moved back up to this ward. The nurse pointed out which bed he was in, and said that he was sleeping now, but I could see him for a couple minutes only.

I slowly opened the glass door to his room, and walked over to his bed. The myriad of tubes and wires were hooked back up to his frail looking body. I softly stroked the hair on his forehead and whispered his name. I watched as his eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Hey Kyle" he whispered softly "I guess I'm not ready to go home just yet."

"Hi Scott" I answered him. "Are you in any pain?"

He managed to pull back the sheet and show me the catheter that was inserted in his penis. "This hurts like hell" he complained.

I stared at his flaccid penis with the angry looking tube that was forced into it. It looked painful to me, and I wished he didn't have to have that in that most sensitive of spots. I bent down very gently and softly kissed his penis.

"I hope that makes it feel better" I offered.

"Careful, dudes, it will really hurt if I get a hard-on" he replied with a weak smile.

I pulled the sheet back over him, and began stroking his forehead again. He told me about waking up in great pain, and being rushed to the OR and then waking up again in the intensive care ward. His doctor still hadn't been by, and he had no news about what had happened. I told him what the nurse had told me, and also told him I didn't have long to stay.

"I'm pretty sleepy anyways Kyle. They have me on some good dope. Why don't you just go home. I will call you tonight when I feel better, and let you know what the doc says" he stated logically.

"Ok, Scott. Get better soon. I can't wait for you to come live with us."

"Me either. Talk to you later." And with that, he was fast asleep again.

I stood for another few moments and just stroked his hair. Tears started falling involuntarily from my eyes as I looked down on this frail angel. It was then that I noticed his very pale complexion. All in all, he did not look well at all. I immediately said a quiet prayer for God to look over Scott. My silent agony was broken when I heard the nurse whisper my name. She indicated that it was time for me to go, so I gave Scott a quick kiss on the head and turned to leave.

Outside his door, I stood quietly and just stared at him laying so helpless in the bed. The nurse stood beside me with her arm around my shoulder. She pulled me close to her, and I could not help the tears that flowed down my cheeks. I looked into her eyes with a very quizzical expression.

"We just don't know, Kyle" she whispered to my unasked question.

We stood there for about another 10 minutes, just watching his fitful sleep. Finally, with a final hug, the nurse had to get back to work. She left me staring at Scott, with the tears slowing, but still flowing down my face. It was then that I realized that I loved the boy. It was then that I realized that I would very soon lose that boy. Both of the realizations hit me at the same time, and I broke into deep body shaking sobs as I slid to the floor. " How can life be so cruel?" I thought to myself.

After a while, I was finally able to calm down some. I slowly got back up, wiped my face on my shirt sleeve, and took the elevator back down to the lobby. I found a payphone, and dial home. Luckily, my parents had returned.

"Hi Mom" I answered sadly as she picked up.

"Kyle, what's wrong?" she asked very concerned.

"Mom, could you please come down to the hospital? Things are not looking good for Scott and I need to talk to you."

"Sure honey. We'll leave now and be there in a few minutes" she answered.

"I'll be in the chapel. I don't know where it's at, but just find it and that's where I'll be."

"Ok Kyle. We'll be there shortly."

After we said our goodbye's, I got directions to the chapel from the receptionist. I began to walk slowly through the hospital in search of the chapel. I really needed to talk some things over with my parents, and I knew that would be the best place to do it. While walking down one of the halls, I could hear music drifting my way. I followed the sound until I was standing outside of what appeared to be some sort of lab. The music was from an oldie's station on the radio. It was playing some song that I hadn't heard before, but had a very interesting melody. I could hear the end of the first part of the song, and it was repeating the verse ". . . knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door." Pretty soon, the next verse started, and I realized the song was about someone that was dying. I listened, unmoving, until I heard the next verse.

Baby stay right here with me...
'Cause I can't see you anymore...
This ain't the way it's supposed to be...
I feel I'm knocking on heaven's door...

 Knock..knock..knocking on heaven's door...
Knock..knock..knocking on heaven's door...

Knock..knock..knocking on heaven's door...



My eyes began watering when I heard that verse. Somehow I just knew Scott sent that song to me. I just knew that he wasn't going to be with us much longer.

"Hold on Scott, my angel. Hold on a little while longer" I softly pleaded into the air.

I found the chapel and went in and collapsed into one of the pews. No one was in there, and it was dimly lit and very solemn feeling. How appropriate for my mood. I didn't have to wait long until my parents arrived. Once they found me in the chapel, they both rushed up to me and hugged me tightly.

I relayed the events of the day to them, and my concerns that Scott would not be around very long. I also told them about the song I had heard. Dad told me that the song was from the 70's, by a man named Bob Dillon. I stored the information in my brain. My face suddenly turned gravely solemn. I told my parents I had something very important to talk to them about, but I needed to say it straight through. They both nodded for me to go ahead.

"Mom, Dad, I don't know what all these feelings are that I have been going through. I only just met Scott the other day, but I feel this really strong bond with him. Just the short time I have been around him, taking care of him, I have grown really close to him. Guys, I think I love Scott."

I waited to see their reactions. Their faces remained fairly neutral waiting for me to go on.

"I don't know if I am gay or what. I don't even know if Scott is or not. I do know that the longer I am around him, the more I love him. The problem is, I don't think he will be with us much longer. I just have a really bad feeling about it. I'm not sure if I can handle losing him so soon after finding him."

I was done with my little speech. I put my head in my hands and began bawling like a little baby. Both of my parents moved over and hugged me, comforting me. My Dad began talking to me in a low voice.

"Kyle, you are our son. You will always be our son. Nothing will ever change that. We have always tried to give you every advantage in life that we can. Neither your mom or I was very surprised when you called that first night from the hospital and told us about finding Scott. That is just how you are, Kyle. We are both so very proud of you. Gay or not, you are still our only son. We are very pleased to be able to take Scott in with us. He will be welcomed into our home as one of our own. If he should not make it that far, then we will be sure to take care of everything for him. Kyle, we haven't even talked to the doctors yet. You really shouldn't get all panicked just on a hunch. Let's go find the doctor, and we'll find out what Scott's status is. As far as you being gay, you don't need to worry about that now. All you need to worry about is taking care of Scott. I'm sure that we will love whomever you fall in love with, be it a boy or a girl."

My dad took my chin in his hand and lifted my head. I looked straight into his clear eyes through my tear-filled eyes. I saw the strength of character that he possessed. I knew that every word he said was true. He reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes, and kissed me on top of my head. I hugged him firmly for what seemed like hours. He broke the moment by suggesting we find Scott's doctor. We all left the chapel and slowly headed for the ICU.

Part Five

We found Scott's doctor making his rounds in the ICU. We were able to pull him aside to find out about Scott's condition. He informed us that Scott had some internal injuries that didn't show up before. He was currently in stable, but guarded condition. We got the ole 'the next 24 hours will be the most critical' spiel. We also found out that Scott was heavily sedated, so he wouldn't be awake very much. It was suggested that we go home and check back on him the next day.

The whole time the doctor was talking to my parents, I just stood quietly at the window to Scott's room and stared at him. He looked so thin and pale, so fragile. A tear dripped from my eye and splattered on the floor. At that very instant, I could hear Scott's voice in my head. It was a simple 'I love you'. I whispered back to the unmoving form in bed 'I love you too'. I couldn't tell for sure, but it looked like a small smile appeared on Scott's face as I whispered that to him through the glass. I turned to my parents and told them I was ready to go. I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was to go home and go to sleep. I rode with dad on the way home while mom drove my car home. I just stared out the window. Dad was talking to me, trying to comfort me, no doubt, but I just couldn't hear him. No matter how much optimism dad had, I just knew Scott was going to go very soon. I was already grieving.

It was only about 8:00 p.m. when we arrived home. I headed right for my room, calling out to my parents that I was going to bed. They said their goodnights as I closed my door. I turned my CD player on softly and haphazardly stripped down to my boxers as I climbed into bed. I was drifting off to sleep as I heard the lyrics of the song playing on the CD player by "The Calling":

So lately, I've been wonderin
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low

            I'll go wherever you will go

            If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go


I fell into a deep sleep as the song ended. I don't even know how long I was asleep when I felt movement in my bed. I felt a warm body laying next to mine. I felt the soft skin and firm arms as they hugged my bare chest. I could smell the sweet smell of Scott as he lay next to me. I could hear his sweet whispering in my ear. He was calling out my name, softly, over and over. I tried to open my eyes, but they seemed glued shut. I felt his warm lips kissing my cheek. I tried to roll over, not believing that my angle could be in bed next to me. I couldn't move. His arms were around me and he was whispering in my ear. I called out to him in my mind that I was here with him. He pulled on my chest and I was able to roll over and face him. That's when I saw his face. It had a warm, soft glow about it. His chest was bare, but there were no more tubes or wires attached to him. His smile was overpowering. His hair was perfectly combed as he lay there facing me.

"Kyle, baby, I have to leave soon" he softly spoke.


"I don't want you to go, Scott. I just found you. I love you. I want to be with you forever" I replied through teary eyes.


"I know Kyle. It just wasn't meant to be. I am so glad that you found me. I surely would have died there along that road if you had not stopped. I know our time is short, Kyle, but there will be another one for you."


"Scott, I don't want another person. I want you, baby."


"God is calling me back home, Kyle. This is my destiny. He has shown me your future. You will have a good life with the person that you were meant to be with. Never forget me, Kyle. I know I will never forget you. I will be watching over you forever."


"I love you, Scott. I will always love you. I will never forget you."


"I love you too, Kyle. Thank you, for all that you did for me. Go on with your life. Be happy and don't hold grudges. Everything works out for the best in the end. Always remember that, my love."


"Good bye Scott. Have a safe journey to heaven."


"Thank you, Kyle. You have a safe journey through life."


I felt Scott's warm soft lips press against mine, and then they were gone. I slowly opened my eyes. The room was dark, but I could smell the unmistakable scent of Scott in the room. I looked at the sheet beside me, and I could make out the impression of where his body had lay. I had no doubt that he was here with me. I knew then that he was gone from my life forever, only to remain in my memories. I lay in bed with my eyes open, waiting, listening. Then I heard the phone ring. I heard my father hurriedly get up and answer it. The conversation was short. The tears started to flow from my eyes again. I heard my father hang up. I knew it was the hospital. A soft knock at the door a few minutes later confirmed my suspicion. When they told me that Scott had passed away a short time ago, I told them I knew. I told them that he had stopped by here to say his goodbyes to me. They asked me if I was ok, and I told them I would be alright. Scott was watching over me. I cried myself back to sleep.




As I sit here and write about this memory of my life, I can't help but feel how lucky I have been. Knowing Scott, even if it was just for a short time, was one of the best things that has happened to me. He was right though. I met the person I was meant to be with later on in College. I look over at Derrick as he sleeps, and I praise God for bringing him into my life. For the past 15 years he has been my rock. I only wish he had known Scott. I know for sure that the two of them would have been fast friends.


Oh yeah. Scott's funeral was absolutely beautiful. The entire school showed up, as they had closed the school for the occasion. Half the town was there as well. His mother was allowed to attend, although she was in chains and accompanied by the local police. She never left the back of the church. She was later charged with murder, and will spend the rest of her life in jail.


Nobody really knew the bond that I had shared with Scott. I had really only known him for less than a week. In that time, a love was born, blossomed, and separated for eternity. At least I had that one last ethereal visit from Scott before he started his ascent to heaven. I say a prayer of thanks to God every night before I climb into bed with my love, Derrick. I will never forget you, Scott, my sweet angel.





Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to email comments regarding my story. I appreciate all the kind comments. Do keep in mind, this particular story is fiction. The plot and characters come entirely from the depths of my mind. Comments are welcome, as always at dreams2dreems@yahoo.com Thanks for reading!

                                                                ~Dream Weaver