Knots is the story of two fourteen-year-old boys searching for their sexual and emotional identify. Both boys struggle with doubts about their new feelings for each other and the girls in their lives. Each chapter is either a first person account from the two boys, Matt and Andy, or a third person account with a camera's eye on the action in the story.
This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, events or locales, is purely coincidental and no slanderous intent is implied.
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Andy's parents were still up when we got to his house. We made some small talk just to be nice and then headed to Andy's room.
He grabbed the air mattress from his closet, held it against his chest, and said, "Why don't we sleep together? I've got plenty of room in my queen bed."
I pulled the air mattress out of his hands. "That sounds a bit gay to me."
He pulled off his shirt. "I didn't mean it that way. I meant it'd be more comfortable for you. Nothing's going to happen. Guys sleep together and do nothing but talk. We'll keep in platonic. Besides, the floor and mattress are frigging cold."
"You don't have to tell me. I guess we could give it a try. But you can't touch me. Got it?"
Andy took the mattress out of my hands and put it back in the closet.
I wasn't sure what Andy had in mind. We were always looking at each other, like I was doing when he just pulled his shirt off. We sometimes touched each other in fun, but for me it had never been sexual, or at least it didn't seem like it. I love looking at guy's bodies and it confused me at times, but I didn't think about fucking or sucking them. I couldn't speak for Andy. Although, I'll have to admit, the thought of having my cock sucked by anybody sounded good to me. Anyway, I was tired of sleeping on the cold floor and there was plenty of room in Andy's bed, so I was game.
Andy got naked and caught me looking. "You can look, but you can't touch. Like you said, no touching."
I looked away.
He grabbed a towel off the back of his door. "I'm going to take a shower. I suggest you do the same so I don't have to smell your stinky body all night. Hell, why don't we shower together and save time and water."
"Naw, I'll shower alone if you don't mind."
He smiled. "I do, but I respect your wishes."
Andy wrapped the towel around his trim fatless waist and headed to the shower while I got undressed. His bed is pushed into one corner so you can only sit on one side. I was sitting on the bed in my jockey shorts and a t-shirt when he came back.
He dropped the towel and walked over and sat next to me. "God, that felt good."
I slid away. "What the fuck you doing?"
"Nothing. We sit like this all the time."
"But we have clothes on."
He moved closer to me. "You have some clothes on," he said as he glanced at my crotch where I'm sure he could see my dick rising to the occasion. I folded my hands over my junk.
He continued. "We' swim naked. We see each other naked in the locker room. We're best friends. What difference does it make?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. It doesn't feel right." Then I noticed his cock was getting hard. "What the fuck is that Andy? I thought you said this was platonic."
He ignored me. "You want to touch it?"
"Fuck no. I'm no queer."
"You could fool me!"
He reached under my t-shirt and rubbed his hands over my nipples and abs. It felt awesome. He grabbed the back of my neck, pulled my lips to him, and kissed me. "What the fuck?" I said as I laid my hands on his bare chest and pushed him away. "What the fuck's the matter with you?"
He blushed. "Always wanted to see what it'd be like to kiss you. Can I do it again?"
"Fuck no. Get away from me."
But he didn't give up. He moved in and kissed me harder this time and slipped his tongue into my mouth. I pushed him away, got off the bed and sat at his desk. I was scared. I'd felt something shoot through me for a second, but it passed quickly. All I had left was my anger for the way it made me feel and the doubt that filled me. "Don't ever do that again? And put some clothes on."
He grabbed a pair of jockey shorts from his dresser and slipped them over his beautiful ass and cock. He sat back on the bed.
"You know," Andy said. "I think I could have sex with a guy just as easily as a girl. After all sex is sex. My weenie's going to like it either way."
"Now I know you're crazy. You mean you really think you could get it on with a guy? Doesn't the idea of putting your dick in some guy's asshole kinda disgust you?"
"Not really. Maybe at one time. But you know the idea of licking a girls pussy and putting my dick down in that hairy part of a woman didn't much excite me when I first thought of it either. But I got to tell you, I love it now. So why not a guy? Haven't you ever thought how great it would be have a guy's cock in your mouth? I think about it sometimes when I'm licking some girl's pussy. We should try it and see. We can always douche."
"Fuck you Andy. I'm not doing anything with you. I like you, even love you, but it's not your body I'm in love with. At one time I thought so. Was jealous and thought how cool it would be to have your body and fuck my brains out. But it's you, my best friend, the guy I've known since we were little kids that I love. I could never think of you that way."
Andy stared at me and looked away before looking back again. "I love you too. But I've often wondered what it would be like to have sex with you." He grabbed his dick and smiled. "I watch you when you have your shirt off and the sweat is dripping down your chest while we do yard work."
I gave him a surprised look. "I've looked at you to. But never thought how hot it would be to fuck you. I always thought how hot it would be to have your body. I suppose it's all about sex no matter how you look at it. You've been calling me queer all this time and maybe you're the gay boy?"
Andy sat up on his bed and let out a nervous laugh. "Hell no. I'm a ladies man. You know how I am with the ladies. Was just thinking out loud. After all, you're my best friend. You're the only guy I could say something like that to."
"You mean you think you could really have sex with a guy?"
"Not sure. But like I said. Sex is sex. I think I could get hard no matter who played with my rod. I wonder what it would be like doing a 69, having my cock in some guy's mouth nibbling on his wild animal while it grows in my mouth."
"You never said anything before."
"Been going out with the girls and getting all the sex I needed. Something's missing though. How `bout if we have a threesome? You know, a girl and the two of us."
"I'm not doing that. You shouldn't either. You're could lose the Andy I know best. You know, like lose your life."
Andy frowned. "Lose my life? Like die? Is God going to hate me?"
"No. God loves us no matter what we do. What I mean is, sex is becoming your life. Remember when we watched that movie, Kids? There was a whole lot of drugs and fucking in it. Everyone looked miserable and unhappy. You and I both had hard-ons during the last scene. I still remember the last line. Do you remember?"
"I don't remember shit like that."
"That line is imbedded in my head. Telly, the main character, has aids and doesn't know it. He's just finished fucking a 13 year old girl and says in a voice over, `When you're young, not much matters when you find something you love. That's just it, fucking is what I love. Take that away from me, and I really got nothing.
. "I don't want to see that happen to you."
He looked up. "Sex is only a small part of my life. That's what I tell myself. But I'll have to admit that when I'm not having sex, I'm thinking about it. It takes up the better part of my day. It's been hard to study or do anything like I used too. I'm constantly looking at porn and beating off." He pointed to his bed. "Fucked a few girls there."
"Sometimes, when my parents are out. My mom works nights now and then and my dad leaves me alone. He likes that I have girls over. Makes him think I'm a normal guy. I'm not sure he cares if I have sex or not. Probably would be more concerned if I didn't.
I shook my head and grinned. "My parents would cut my balls off if they thought I was having sex. If a girl comes by, I have to leave my bedroom door open."
Andy stretched out on his bed against the wall. "So sorry to hear that ole buddy. Come here?"
He patted the bed next to him. "Come join me."
"I don't think it's a good idea."
"Aren't you curious about what it would be like to have sex with a guy?"
"Hell, I'm curious about what it would be like to have sex with a girl."
He scooted over. "Come on. Let's cuddle. It'll give you some practice."
"Fuck you, Andy."
A big grin crossed his face. "You can if you want."
"It's a figure of speech dumb ass."
"What's wrong, can't take a joke? You can sleep on the floor if you want, but it's a hell of a lot more comfortable in bed. Come on, I'll leave you alone."
I wasn't sure what to do. Sitting next to Andy like that and seeing his cock get hard and feeling mine too, was more than I'd ever felt with a girl. But all kinds of stuff started doing battle in my head. Yeah, it was like a war.
Andy had a big grin on his face. He patted the bed. "Come on. Get in. I'll leave you alone."
My mind said no, but my body said yes. I think I wanted him to touch me and kiss me, and suck my cock. Sometimes I asked myself if I might be gay, but the question never got answered. It was easier to ignore my thoughts and feelings so I wouldn't have to deal with them. I wondered, do other guys go through this shit or is it just me?
Andy was my best friend. I couldn't help but think climbing into bed naked with him that night might change everything. Pajamas aren't my thing, but I always bring a pair in case I get cold on the floor. I took them out of my overnight bag and put them on. Andy shook his head. "Well, if it isn't Saint Mathew. Aren't you going to take a shower? I don't want to sleep with some guy, pajamas or not, if he's going to smell like pizza."
I looked at Andy. The grin was still there. "Shit Andy, you make it hard on a guy." I opened his dresser, grabbed a towel, and headed to the shower.
The Gibson's had a full length mirror on one side of the sliding glass doors of the shower. I took my pajamas off, looked at my reflection, and realized that's what Andy saw. My body was tan except for my butt, the chest and shoulders were broad and strong, the waist was tight and smooth, and my legs muscular. My dick hardened as I played with my cock and balls. It was fully hard by time I slid the glass door open and turned the shower on. By then I was ready to fuck anything, maybe even Andy. But there was nothing but my hand. I lathered my chest and abs, then rubbed them with one hand while I stroked my cock with the other. Cum shot all over the shower walls in less than a minute. The orgasm was the most powerful I'd ever experienced. The funny thing was, I only thought of Andy for a second or two. I guess it was because I was so focused on the task at hand, well, at least the one in my hand. It wasn't until I shot, and small moans came out of my mouth, that I thought of Andy waiting for me in his room.
Andy was laying on his back on top of the covers in his shorts. "I see you still have those ugly pajamas on. Take them off. I'll keep my hands to myself."
"Sorry, St. Mathew's going to keep them on."
"Spoil sport. I can take them off for you if you'd like."
I sat on the edge of the bed, pulled back the covers, and climbed in. "This way you can't touch me."
He pulled back the covers on his side and slid in. "Now I can."
I turned my back to him. "Keep your hands to yourself."
Andy whined. "Matt, you're no fun. We could just experiment. I hear guys do it all the time. Aren't you curious?"
"No," I lied. "Go to sleep. I'm tired." It was true. The whole hour or so since we got to Andy's was hell as the war raged inside.
He turned his back to me. "If you say so, St. Mathew." His voice echoed off the wall. "But you don't know what you're missing."
"Shut up and go to sleep."
I don't know what time it was, but when I awakened, Andy was snuggled against my back with his arm over my chest. It felt good. Made me feel safe and warm and loved. I reached back and felt Andy's naked ass. It was smooth and supple in my hand. Andy moaned once.
"Are you awake," I whispered.
There was nothing but the sound of his slow easy breathing I lay there for another five minutes or so, savoring the feeling of his ass in my hand and his warm body next to mine. I wished I'd gone to bed naked. Then, almost without thinking, I removed his arm from my chest, slipped out from under the covers, put my clothes on, and walked home.