Knots is the story of two fourteen-year-old boys searching for the sexual and emotional identify. Both boys struggle with doubts about their new feelings for each other and the girls in their lives. Each chapter is either a first person account from the two boys, Matt and Andy, or a third person account with a camera's eye on the action in the story.
This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, events or locales, is purely coincidental and no slanderous intent is implied.
Contact me at email@example.com
Please contribute to Nifty at http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html
My parents seemed pleased when I told them the four of us were going to the community dance. Our family is religious so they've talked to me often about sex, so much so that I'm surprised I slipped the tip of my tongue into Gina's mouth when I kissed her. They're always talking about avoiding the near occasions of sin, which is defined as not putting yourself in a situation that would cause you to sin, and of course anything to do with sex is sinful in their eyes.
So on one hand they say sex is beautiful and then say it's bad. I'm confused enough without all this guilt being laid on me. Well, none of it makes any difference. We're only going to a dance. We're walking. Can't make-out in a car or at the dance, so the idea of sex is out of the question anyway. Besides, I need to avoid those near occasions of sin.
Andy and I walked to the girls houses instead of riding our bikes. Andy wore jeans that were circled by a wide belt held together by a belt buckle with a cowboy riding a bucking bronco. He wore a white polo shirt that was just tight enough to show off what lay underneath. He looked sharp with his flat stomach cinched under that big belt buckle.
I pointed at his buckle. "You know what they say, Andy. 'Guys with big belt buckles have small dicks.'"
Andy grabbed the buckle with both hands and rolled it up and down. "Not this cowboy, partner."
We both laughed.
Emily and Gina surprised us because they both wore dresses. They looked hot. Gina had on what I, being a 14-year-old boy, would call a light blue fancy tank top. She wore a skirt with a bunch of different colored rows of something that looked like small mountain tops. Her waist was encircled by a three-inch wide black belt that had a buckle on it bigger than Andy's.
Andy nudged me and whispered in my ear. "You might be right. Gina's got a huge belt buckle and we know she has a small dick. Well, actually, no dick."
I shook my head.
I couldn't get over how nice they looked. Emily wore a one-piece dress that was almost white and had some design sewn into it. It was indescribable. Her top looked like a tank top too, except it was attached to the skirt. Both their skirts were about four inches above the knee. Gina had a charm bracelet on her right hand and Emily didn't wear any jewelry.
There were a lot of kids from our class there. Most of the juniors and seniors didn't come to these dances. They figured they were for kids. We didn't think of ourselves as kids. But of course, we were.
We had a few dances when we were in the 8th grade and most everyone sat around and talked. Figured it was going to be the same this time, but I guess the only ones who come to these dances are people who dance. Andy and I used to fast dance at my house after school by watching videos on You Tube. Slow dancing was another thing, but most of the kids we saw didn't move much anyway. My mom spent a few hours with me and said you need to move around the floor and the girl should follow. It worked with her, but I didn't know about Gina.
Andy and I pulled out our wallets like we did this stuff all the time and paid for the tickets. The lady who stamped our hands looked us up and down and said in a stiff voice, "Once you're in you can't go out and come back in. Understand?"
The inside of the community center was dark except for lights covered with red crape paper. There was one of those mirrored balls turning on the ceiling reflecting the light from two spotlights. They were playing a slow dance when we walked in, but the girls said they were going to check their purses at security. We watched their backsides as they swung their way to the security desk.
Andy nudged me with his elbow. "Don't they look hot? I like girls in dresses."
"Me too," I said. "Gives you a chance to see their legs."
He moved his hips and waved his hands. "I hope they play a slow dance so I can show my moves."
"What moves. You don't have any moves, or at least any you've ever used."
He rubbed his hands together and glanced at the girls as they returned. "I've been practicing my kissing by kissing the mirror."
I laughed out loud and rubbed my hand through my hair. "The mirror? I'd love to see that."
Gina asked, "What's so funny."
Andy gave me a dirty look.
"Oh nothing, Andy was telling me about some guy who practices his kissing on the mirror."
Emily laughed. "How weird."
Andy grabbed my arm and turned to the girls. "I need to talk to my good friend here for a minute." He pulled me ten feet away. "What the hell? You're lucky I don't kick your ass."
"Be cool. I was just having a little fun with you. They don't know it's you. But they do think it's weird."
"Just watch me. You'll see those mirror exercises work pretty well."
"I'll be looking." I said as we walked back to the girls.
"What's with all the secrecy Andy," Emily asked.
"Nothing. Just needed to straighten something out with Matt."
Another slow dance was playing. Andy grabbed Emily's hand and pulled her out onto the dance floor, put both arms around her, and joined them in the small of her back. He nestled his face against her cheek. Gina and I joined him on the floor and when he had my eye gave me a big grin and then kissed Emily on the neck and then kissed her ear. Emily had her hands behind his neck and pulled him closer. He gave me a big grin.
In the meantime, Gina and I are dancing cheek to cheek in what I guess you'd call the old-fashioned way of dancing. We moved around the floor and she followed my moves like we were one. Andy and Emily were still standing in the same place when we returned to the spot where we'd started. No sooner had the slow dance ended, than a fast one started. We began dancing. Andy was going all crazy with wild moves--his arms waving all around. Gina and I looked over at him, looked at each other, and laughed. It wasn't at all we'd practiced.
I was smooth, cool, and moving in sink with the music. Gina too. It was awesome until I started to sweat. I stepped away from her. "I have to run to the restroom."
"Okay," she said. "Don't be long."
I grabbed some paper towels to wipe my face. I lifted my arms and dark spots were forming. Shit, I thought. I should have used an anti-perspirant and not worn a dark shirt. My imagination pictured dark spots spreading from my armpits to my waist. I grabbed some more paper towels and put them in my armpits under my shirt. Didn't know what else to do. I grabbed a few more paper towels, folded them, and put them in my pocket.
Gina was talking to Andy and Emily when I came back. She smiled when she saw me.
Andy said, "Everything all right there ole buddy?"
Sweat was running down his face, but his light colored shirt hid any sweat under his arms. Damn. I should have thought of that.
Gina put her arm inside my left elbow. I thought for sure sweat was going to roll down my arm and hit her hand. "I'm all sweaty," I said to provide cover just in case.
"I don't mind," Gina said. That helped. Then I remembered the day she and Emily came by and touched our sweaty chests with their hands. That was a pleasant memory.
All four of us headed back out onto the dance floor and I kept praying the paper towels wouldn't fall out my shirtsleeve. It worked as long as I kept my arms down.
Andy said, "You look awfully stiff. Anything wrong?"
The dance ended around . The air felt good and I began to relax. The night was warm, but the sweat cooled my body. I grabbed Gina's hand and just as I figured I was safe, the paper towel slipped down my sleeve and hit Gina's hand.
She jumped. "What's that?"
"Yeah Matt, "What's that? Looks like a sweaty paper towel to me," Andy said.
"Well uh. I was sweating a little and thought it would help."
Andy bent over, picked up the paper towel, and handed it to me. "Ever think of using anti-perspirant?"
I wanted to grab him and strangle him. "I did, but it doesn't seem to have worked. Some cheap stuff my mom bought."
Gina wiped her hand on my jeans. "It just scared me is all. Hey, guys sweat."
Andy grinned. "Not me."
And while it wasn't true, he looked cool without a spot of sweat under his arms. Emily grabbed his hand and Gina grabbed mine as we walked them home. We passed a park on the way and stopped just outside.
Andy looked at us. "You want to go in?"
I wondered what he had in mind.
The rest of us looked at each other. Gina shook her head. "I don't think we'd better. Who knows who's in there."
Emily gave Gina a light pinch on the arm. "Chicken. Let's go. It will be exciting."
"You go, but I'm not," Gina said.
Andy grabbed Emily's hand. "Let's leave these chickens out here."
"We'll be waiting," I said. "Trust that we won't run into the park if we hear you guys screamig."
They swung their hands as they faded into the park and out of sight.
Gina and I sat on a bench at the entrance to the park. "Those two are crazy."
"Yeah, crazy," I said.
Gina and I talked about our expectations for the coming year and before we knew it, fifteen minutes had gone by and we hadn't heard anything from the park.
"I'm getting concerned," Gina said."
"Me too. Should we go in after them? Maybe not, they could be making-out."
Gina smiled. "You might be right. If that's the case, they might be in there all night."
I felt inferior to Andy right then. He and Emily are in the park doing who knows what while Gina and I were sitting in front of the park talking. I moved closer to her, kissed her, and held it for a couple seconds. She didn't move and waited for me to stop. I was putting my arm around her, when she moved her head and I hit her in the cheek with my hand. We both broke out laughing.
"What's all the noise out her," Andy yelled as they came out of the park.
"Matt just punched me in the cheek."
I held the palms of my hands in the air. "It was an accident."
"Guess this isn't your night, Matt."
I shot him a dirty look.
"We had a nice walk in the park," Emily said. It was dark except for a few lights scattered around ."
"Yeah, scary dark," Andy said. "Whoooooo Whoooooo"
His shirt was partly out of his pants. I asked, "What have you two been doing in there?"
"Having sex," Andy said.
Emily punched him in the shoulder. "We were swinging on the swings and walking through the park holding hands. It was so romantic."
Andy grinned and hugged Emily. "Yes, very romantic."
What's wrong with me? I thought. Andy's putting the moves on Emily in the park and Gina and I are giving each other a few kisses on a park bench.
"I've got to be home in a few minutes," Gina said.
Emily looked at Andy. "So do I."
We held the girls hands as we walked them home. Gina and I waited for Andy after he dropped Emily at her house. He walked with us to Gina's because there wasn't anyway he was going to let me walk home by myself without telling me what he'd done in the park. Or at least I hoped so.
I gave Gina a quick goodnight kiss. "I'll call you."
She opened the door. "I look forward too it."
It was hard to tell from her voice if she had a terrible time or was really looking forward to it. Maybe she found me a bore. I couldn't wait to hear what Andy had to say.
The calmness he'd shown as we walked the girls home disappeared as he clenched his fists and moved them back and forth like he was shaking someone. "Hot damn. What a night."
"I promised Emily I wouldn't say anything."
My voice had a pleading sound in it. "Come on. I'm your best friend. You have to tell."
He started jumping up and down.
I grabbed his shoulders. "Stop it."
"But it was so cool?"
"All that practice against the mirror paid off."
I shook my head. "How do you practice kissing in the mirror?"
"Look dumb shit. It's easy. You stand in front of the mirror..."
"I can't see. Move under the street light."
"You stand in front of the mirror and you try different mouth positions to see which one looks best. You smile and then slowly move in and kiss the mirror, just like you're going to kiss the girl. Sometimes I hold it for a few seconds and sometimes it's just a peck."
I bent over laughing. "Are you serious?"
"It's not funny. It's artistry." He looked up at the street light. "It all paid off tonight."
"So you chose the best pucker from your mirror exercises and did the same with Emily?"
He turned and walked a few feet away and then came back. "You make it sound so stupid."
"Sorry. I'll have to see it to make a judgment. Show me when we get to your house."
The lights were on at Andy's, and his parents were watching TV. "Good evening boys. Have a good time," Andy's mother asked.
"Great time," Andy said. "I was the best dancer there."
"Except for me Mrs. Gibson."
Andy stepped between them and the TV. "You should have seen it. Andy's sweating so bad, he put paper towels under his shirt inside his armpits. He's holding hands with Gina, and the paper fell out and hits here in the hand, all cold from Matt's slimy pits."
His parents gave me that we're so sorry look.
"Andy makes it sound worse than it was. Gina and I were afraid we'd lost him and Emily when they went into the park."
Andy's father looked concerned. "Do you know how dangerous it can be in the park at night?"
"We only went in a little ways. Matt and Gina wouldn't go."
"Yeah, they're the smart ones,"
I looked at Andy. "So what did you and Emily do when you were in the park?"
I moved next to Andy. "He says that, but he refuses to tell me what they did in there."
"Like I said, we just talked. We held hands. Anyway, I told Matt I'd show him something, so we're going to my room."
"Nice talking to you Mr. and Mrs. Gibson."
"Same here Matt."
Pictures are flashing through my mind about the park and the mirror and it's taking everything in me not to explode. "So let me see your kissing techniques and then tell me what went on in the park."
Without any look of embarrassment, he stands in front of the mirror on the sliding door of his closet. He puckers. "See, this is how you do it. But if you don't like it, you try another one until you find one you like." He shows me different puckers before doing one over again and saying, "I like this one best."
"Okay, I see," I said holding everything in me from bursting out laughing. "But how do know Emily will like the pucker you like?"
He stands up straight. "That's why I list them from what I think is best to the worst. You want to know what we did in the park. Well, I tried my different puckers on Emily."
I started to laugh. "I'm really sorry we didn't follow you into the park and watch from behind a bush."
"You would have seen more than kissing."
"Well, first she rubbed her hand over my chest and stomach. That was hot enough, but then I helped her by lifting my shirt. She hesitated and then rubbed her hand over my awesome chest and abs. She said, `I really like your muscles.' I got to tell you, her hand on my chest and abs made my dick do cartwheels."
"Did it make you horny?"
"I was already horny and wanted to pull her blouse out and rub her muscles, but her dress was all one piece."
"So what'd you do?"
"I kissed her and said, `It's only fair. If I let you touch my chest, I get to touch yours.'"
She giggled. "Not true. Your chest is a bit different than mine. Anyway, it's time to go.' She got up, grabbed my hand, and we walked out of the park."
"So that's the reason your shirt was out?"
"Yep. Can't wait for our next date."
He looked at me in anticipation. "What'd you and Gina do?"
"Kissed a couple times. That's all. Not very exciting is it?"
He smiled. "Got to start somewhere. After all, I started with the mirror. I'm sure it was my kisses that made her rub her hands all over me."
"Actually, I think it was because of the day they stopped when we were working and sweating like dogs. She wanted to touch that beautiful chest of yours again."
He shrugged. "Maybe so. I'm not complaining."
What a night! I've never been with a guy or a girl, and while I think I like guys, my experience tonight made me wonder. Emily put her hands up under my shirt and rubbed my chest and abs and it felt great. My dick started to get hard until I wished it was Matt with his hands on me. But girl or not, I'm human, and the physical feeling I got when she rubbed my chest and abs made my cock hard once I got Matt out of my mind. Doing anything with Matt or any guy right now seems impossible, so I guess I'll take what I can get.
I surprised myself when I suggested she let me rub my hands over her chest and abs. She told me it wasn't the same and gave me the brush. Oh well, I tried. How else am I going to find out if I'm gay unless I experiment around a little. All I know is, I'd sure like to get my hands on Matt or any guy right now. Guess I'll just have to be patient.
Matt made fun of my mirror exercises, and the more he laughed and joked the stupider I felt. I think I'll ask him to let me practice on him next time.