The Lament of the Tortured Soul

Jay Matthews

Authors Note: This story is completely fiction. It is not based in anyway on actual events. Any resemblence the characters have to any living person is completely accidential. Saying that though many of the characters share traits with one person (it was completely unintentional) who unfortunately left us at the end of January 2002. Shadow as he was known to the people he called friend, the people who loved him and the people he left behind miss him greatly.

This story is dedicated to him. Rest easy my love we’ll be together again soon.

Chapter 2

While Nick waited for his first class to start he couldn’t help overhear the girl in the seat in front of him complain to her friend about how bad it had been when her ex-boyfriend broke up with her and how he had been all wrong for her anyway. This went on for some time and eventually Nick couldn’t take it anymore and tapped her on the shoulder.

“Lisa, get over it. You could do a lot better anyway.” Lisa and her friend Janie turned and glared at him.

“Like who? … You?” She said almost accusingly.

“No.” Nick said trying hard to mask a shutter, “But Geoff here has been in love with you since 4th Grade. Thank me later dude.” He said give a stunned Geoff a wink, “And Marty has been in love with you for just about as long Janie.” He added feeling a punch in the back from his friend sitting behind him.

That is all that was needed and after a quick rearrange of seats so that Geoff and Lisa and Marty and Janie could sit next to one another the teacher walked into the room and the class started.

It was between 2nd and 3rd periods that Nick walked past Geoff and Lisa stand next to Lisa’s locker staring into each other’s eyes. “Would you just kiss each other already.” He said as he passed. They did and it sealed their relationship, as he knew it would.

Lunch found Nick standing in line admiring the back of the neck of the boy standing in front of him. The boy was in the same grade as Nick but in none of his classes. He didn’t know his name but was falling in love with the back of his neck, his perfect little bubble butt and his smell. Nick wondered whether it was the smell of all boys or just the one in front of him. No matter which he found the smell almost intoxicating. Nick was standing there admiring the form in front of him thinking how much he would like to ‘draw’ that bubble butt in its natural state when it disappeared in a flurry of “out of my way faggot” and was replaced with a much larger one belonging to the captain of the football and basketball teams and all around gods gift to the school.

“Hey!” Nick said in a flash of annoyance bubbling over into anger, “No cutting in you big oaf!” It was like someone his the mute button to he room everyone stopped what they were doing and directed their full attention to the scene unfolding before them entitled ‘dead boy walking’.

“Are you talking to me?” The oaf said turning around and glaring menacingly at Nick.

“Yeah I am,” Nick said defiantly, “No cutting in.”

“Do you have a death wish kid?” He said leaving no doubt about the intended threat causing the room to gasp.

“Yes. Yes I do.” Nick replied meeting the oaf’s stare forcing him to blink.

“I like you kid. You’ve got spunk.” Nick let his eyes wander down the oaf’s body ‘Not after tonight.’ He thought, ‘you plus a couple of specially selected fanatics and I’ll be all spunked out.’

The oaf stood aside to let Nick take his rightful place in the line. Nick held out his hand to help up the boy who he had been admiring and was still in a heap on the floor. The boy took his hand and then their eyes locked. Nick found himself looking into the most perfect pools of hazel green he had ever seen and was immediately head over heals in love. He pulled the boy up and they stood staring into each other’s eyes for a few moments before the boy muttered “Thanks”, paid for his lunch and escaped before Nick had a chance to recover and say something.

Paying for his lunch Nick scanned the room looking for the boy but couldn’t see him anywhere but couldn’t help but notice Geoff, Marty, Lisa and Janie waving frantically at him.

“You must be freaking nuts talking to John Peterson like that.” Geoff said as he sat down. Nick just shrugged and started picking at his nachos. “He could have killed you.”

“He wouldn’t have done that.” Nick said not really paying attention as he made another scan of the room for the love of his life.

“And what make you think that?” Marty asked shaking his head in disbelief.

“The last thing he wanted to do is beat up a kid in front of the whole school and he would have looked really stupid if he did so the best way out for both of us was for me to act a little crazy and for him to befriend me.”

“When did you turn all Zen Master like?” Came Marty’s snide remark.

“I see things differently now. Everything’s different now.” He said it as if it was a throw-away comment but it wasn’t everything was different and would never be the same again. “Does any know the name of the guy Peterson shoved out of the way?” Nick said trying to direct the subject in a different direction.

“He’s in my French class its J something.” Lisa said.

“How do you see things differently now?” Janie asked. Nick didn’t feel like explaining it to them. He knew that no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t explain it to them in a way they wouldn’t understand. Most times the only real way to see something in a fundamentally new way is for something tragic to happen. Nick decided to escape and excused himself saying he had to use the bathroom.

When he stood he scanned the room again looking for the boy he was rapidly becoming obsessed with. Disappointed he walked out of the cafeteria and spotted him, outside sitting under a tree drinking a carton of milk through a straw and reading a book. Nick held his breath as the boy slowly brought the straw to his lips. He was utterly captivated as the milk gradually flowed up the straw past the perfect lips and into the mouth of the boy Nick had fallen for.

Nick nearly had complete heart failure when a hand fell onto his shoulder. “Breath kid you’re turning blue.” Said none other than John Peterson with a big grin on his face. John’s grin slowly faded to a serious stare as he looked Nick. He backed away from Nick a few steps “Come on.” He said flicking his head in the direction of the corridor behind him.

Nick followed obediently but not before taking one last look at the boy sitting under the tree. He was lead down several corridors not really knowing where they were really going until John stopped in front of the old equipment room and held the door open for him to enter. Nick was sure what was going to happen when he entered the room, he was pretty sure he wasn’t in any danger but happened he would have never predicted in a million years.

John closed the door behind them, picked Nick up like he weighed nothing and dumped him into a pile of old football jerseys. Nick thought he was about to get the beating of his life but before Nick had time to recover John was on top of him not beating the shit out of him but kissing him. Nick was to say the least surprised but decided to go with the flow and returned the kiss by opening his mouth and letting John’s tongue do a little exploring. John rolled off him, sat up and berried his face in his hands. Nick lay there for a few seconds trying to process what had just happened. He too sat up and put his arm as best he could around John trying to comfort him who was mumbling “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

When John finally looked up he had tears forming in his eyes, “I knew I was a fairy. That as the best kiss I’ve ever had.”

“Give me warning next time and I’ll really rock your world.” Nick replied giving John a wink. John took a sideways glance at Nick and started to laugh. He fell backwards into the jerseys pulling Nick with him still laughing. John stopped laughing and held Nick who was half on top of him half beside him and stared at the ceiling. They stayed that way for a while enjoying being close to one another. Eventually Nick had to ask, “Who is he?”

“Who is who?” John said distantly.

“The boy you are thinking about?”

“What makes you think I’m thinking about a boy?” To answer Nick put is hand on John’s bulge that had been steadily growing for the last few minutes. John let out a little moan, “His name is Blake, Blake Carson.”

“He’s a sophomore isn’t he?”

“Uh huh.” John replied as Nick unbuttoned his pants to get better access to the bulge that was trying its hardest to break free of its cloth prison.

“Now I know why you were so keen to get in line. He was just a little ahead in the lunch line wasn’t he?” John nodded;” He has gym at the same time as me.”

“You’re lucky.” John said honestly

“Blond hair that’s darker at the root than the tip,” John closed his eyes and let out a moan as Nick worked his hand into his underwear and gave his balls a gentle squeeze. “Deep blue eyes that seem to look straight through you to read your every thought, your every desire,” Nick rubbed his hand over the head of John’s penis and down the shaft using the copious amount of natural lubricant that John was producing. “Those earlobes just begging to be nibbled and lips, perfect kissable …” That is as far as Nick got John made a gurgling half cry and he exploded into the football jersey Nick had prepared for just such an event.

“Told ya I could rock your world.” Nick said grinning once John came to his senses. John just grabbed Nick and tickled him till he gave. John was about to start round two of the great tickle-a-thon when the first bell rung indicating they had 10 minutes to get to class. They quickly straightened their clothes and were about to leave the room when John put his hand on Nicks shoulder “Thank you … little brother.”

“Your welcome big brother but don’t thank me until you and Blake hook up.” Nick said with a wink before scurrying off to his locker. John gulped and followed heading toward his own locker with a very worried look on his face.

When Nick got to his locker there was a note stuck to it from Jason asking him to cover for him at the music shop after school because he had managed to get a detention that morning. Nick looked over to where John was standing with his friends and it gave him an idea. He wandered over to them and said “Hey Johnny you going to the mall after school?”

Everyone held their breath, no one except his Mom called John Johnny but he didn’t even blink “Yeah probably.”

“Then can you give your little brother a lift.” John picked Nick up making Nick laugh.

“Jonathon put that boy down!” A booming voice came from further down the corridor. John put Nick down, Mr. Harvey the guidance councilor strode into the middle of the group. “Just what do you think you were doing to this boy?”

“He asked for a lift so I gave him a lift.” John explained to Mr. Harvey, “I’ll see you in the car park after school.” He said to Nick grinning.

“Ah Nicholas good to see you back.” He said acknowledging Nick presence, “I believe you have an appointment to see me tomorrow morning.”

“Yes Sir and Its Nick not Nicholas.”

“See you tomorrow Nicholas.” He said striding off down the corridor.

“My parents named me Nick. I can show you my birth certificate if you like.” Nick called after him.

The final bell rung and Nick quickly dart off saying he had to run because he had gym next. He took a glancing look over his shoulder to see a pale looking John staring after him.

Gym that day consisted of running laps around the track while the coach leaned against the goal post talking to the coach of Blake’s class who were also running laps. Nick didn’t mind though because it meant that Blake was there running with him. Nick stalked is prey patiently tucked in behind Blake and the group he was running with. Slowly the group thinned some pulling ahead some falling behind. When Blake was running by himself Nick made his move and pulled up beside him.

“Hey.” Nick puffed.

“Hi.” Blake replied speeding up a little.

“So you got a girlfriend?” Nick asked catching up to him.

“No.” Blake said with a nervous laugh that Nick immediately picked up on.

“You got a boyfriend?” This caused Blake to stumble but after regaining some composure said

“Sorry not into younger guys.” Blake puffed still in shock at Nick’s question.

Nick grinned “That’s good I know one guy who would be very upset if you were and at least I now know you’re into guys.”

Blake stopped dead and just stared after Nick and only started running again after both coaches started yelling at him. A thousand thoughts ran through Blake’s head the prime one being that someone was interested in him but coming a close second was how he could have been stupid enough out himself to a kid he only knew by reputation. He was only spurred into movement by the threat of direr consequences by both coaches.

It took Blake nearly a full lap to catch up to Nick who wasn’t making it easy by keeping a pretty good pace running around the track.

“Who is it?” Each word was separated by a fair amount of puffing.

“Can’t say, he’ll kill me for even talking to you.”

“Please.” Blake said almost pleading.

“Meet me in the music practice rooms at lunch time tomorrow.” Nick said with an evil grin spreading across his face.

“Thanks. You won’t say anything will you?” Blake asked his first concern temporarily eased but his next one quickly taking its place.

“About what?” Nick said slowing.

“About me … umm … being … umm … you know.”

“As long as you meet me tomorrow I won’t.”

If there are any errors in this story I appologise. Unfortunately the end of January 2002 also saw the departure of my editor.

Any comments welcome though if you have a flame please keep it to youself as this story is of a personel nature