The Lament of the Tortured Soul


Authors Note: This story is completely fiction. It is not based in anyway on actual events. Any resemblence the characters have to any living person is completely accidential. Saying that though many of the characters share traits with one person (it was completely unintentional) who unfortunately left us at the end of January 2002. Shadow as he was known to the people he called friend, the people who loved him and the people he left behind miss him greatly.

This story is dedicated to him. Rest easy my love we’ll be together again soon.

Chapter 4

Nick quickly removed his hand as someone walked into the bathroom but he didn’t break eye contact at least not until that someone spoke.

“Haven’t you finished cleaning this bathroom yet boy?” Mr. Harvey asked not noticing Nick’s presence.

“I…umm…” stammered Josh before Nick spoke up.

“It’s my fault Mr. Harvey.” Nick said trying to deflect some of the anger he could see in Mr. Harvey’s eyes. Mr. Harvey continued to glare at Josh.

“And who are you?”

“Nick Sir, from school.” Mr. Harvey turned his glare onto Nick causing Nick to take a step backwards.

“Yes, Nichols, I didn’t recognize you. You look like one of them.” Nick felt a sudden rush of anger at that comment but decided to let it drop for the time being. It was a close call though. He did look like one of them mainly because he was one of them and so was Josh thankfully. Nick glanced at Josh reading the look on his face it was a good move that he decided not to say anything.

“Sorry Sir I was talking to Josh about school … “Mr. Harvey raised his eyebrows in a way that indicated he didn’t really believe Nick, “… We both have Mr. Gregory for English and I wanted to know if Josh’s class understood the last lesson because mine certainly didn’t only Josh doesn’t have English until tomorrow…3rd period wasn’t it?”

“4th” Josh muttered.

“Yeah right 4th.”

“Well,” Mr. Harvey said accepting Nick’s explanation and shifting his attention back onto Josh, “These bathrooms have to be cleaned tonight and if you’re not finished by closing I’m not waiting for you.” With that Mr. Harvey left the bathroom.

Nick and Josh just stared at each other for a few moments before Nick said in a half whisper “I’d better let you get on with it.”

As he walked past Josh he felt a hand brush his shoulder and heard a single whispered word “Thanks”

The rest of the evening was a blur for Nick. He only caught a couple of glimpses of Josh but in each case Josh would return his smile shyly before scurrying away on some task that his step father has set him.

Josh waved to Nick from the kitchen door as they were leaving the restaurant and it left Nick with a warm feeling that lasted throughout the rest of the night and into the next day.

Nick woke the next morning with his heart beating faster than any other time in his life. It felt like it was trying to escape from his chest. He couldn’t quite remember what the dream was about except for that he knew Josh was in it and it was a very good dream.

Lying back in his bed he realized that his sheets were wet. Ignoring the dampness Nick closed his eyes desperately trying recall some glimpse of what must have been a better than average dream. All too soon the piercing sound of his alarm sounded destroying any hope returning to the dream.

School, Nick was sure it was just there to torture kids and homework was just a form of cruel and unusual punishment but at least he would see Josh there and the world would suddenly seem not all bad. As long as he was reading the signs right. It worried Nick, was he reading more into the looks he got from Josh or did Josh like him too.

The thoughts ran through his mind as he made his way through the sea of kids towards his locker. Geoff and Marty, his two friends, were standing next to their lockers talking to their newly acquired girlfriends, Lisa and Janie. They didn’t see Nick walk up to them and open his locker.

“Hey that kid over there, isn’t he the one Nick was going on about yesterday.” Lisa said. Nick’s heart skipped several beats which almost made him miss what was said next.

“Gee I hope not.” he heard Geoff say.

“Yeah,” Marty added, “That guy’s a queer. Nigel Thomas caught him looking at him in the gym showers last month.” Nick inwardly sighed to hear his friends talk this way.

“Why doesn’t the whole school know?” Janie asked.

“Because he’s Nut-case Harvey’s kid.” Geoff answered.

“You know it wouldn’t surprise me if that kid was the one Nick was going on about.” Marty said.

“What do you mean?” Lisa asked

“You know Nick’s ‘Uncle’ is a faggot and probably caused him to switch sides. That’s what my Dad says. I’m not allowed to go around to his house anymore. Hell if it wasn’t for his parents I wouldn’t be allowed to be his friend anymore.”

The anger that had started to simmer when he started listening in on his so-called friends’ conservation was now brought to boiling point. Slamming his locker door closed he roughly pushed past Marty only to be grabbed him.

“Hey what do you think you’re doing asshole?” NicK turned on him and grabbed the front of Marty’s t-shirt forcing it up under his chin. Seeing who it was Marty let go, Nick did not.

“Don’t do me any favors Marty. We wouldn’t want you catching queer would we?” Nick pushed him away and stormed off down the corridor towards his first class.

At the end of the corridor he practically ran straight into John and some of his teammates. “Having a few problems there little brother?” John said looking a little concerned.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” Nick answered scowling. He was still angry but seeing John and remembering his master plan for him and Blake during lunch brightened his mood considerably. “Remember your meeting me in the practice room at lunch. There’s that song I want you to listen too.”

“Yeah ok,” John said suspiciously “I’ll be there.”

Classes that morning were a bit tense. Nick purposely sat as far from Marty as possible and Marty would turn and eye him every now and again. Nick couldn’t read the expression on his face not that he cared enough to try that hard. The period before lunch was art for Nick and it was a period without his ‘friends’. It was a relief for Nick, even if he did have to draw a bowl of fruit and at least his art teacher, who was none other than Penny who he’d really met for the first time the night before, let him leave five minutes early.

Luckily two of the music practice rooms were not booked for the lunch period. He booked one in John’s name and the other in his own and waited for his victims to turn up.

It didn’t take long. John turned up first looking pretty nervous. “So what’s this about a song is everything o…” John finished by whispering harshly, “you little shit.” As Blake came into view.

Blake almost escaped when he saw John standing next to Nick but instead walked up to Nick and whispered “Are you trying to get me killed?”

“John would never kill you.” Nick replied loud enough for both of them to hear.

“No never.” John let slip turning bright red.

“You mean he’s … you’re … the one. Oh wow.” Blake shifted his gaze from Nick to John and never left him. John was godlike to Blake and to have him being the one who had a crush on him was a mind blowing experience.

“Now before you two ‘out’ yourselves to the entire school.” Nick ushered them into one of the two practice rooms he had booked. Nick took a big breath after closing the door on John and Blake who were still looking rather dumbly into each others eyes. He decided that this was the last time he would try matchmaking, it was just too stressful.

Grabbing one of the schools practice guitars Nick wandered into the other practice room and started to play around with some songs that he knew. He didn’t hear the door open and only looked up when he heard someone say “Umm sorry.”

“No come in. Please.” Nick said jumping to his feet when he realized that it was Josh backing out through the door.

“No its ok I’ll use the other one, jocks never turn up when they book a room that’s why I came in.” Nick realized he must have inadvertently swapped rooms with John and Blake.

“Please come in you look tired. The other room is …umm … occupied.”

“I was looking for a place to …”

“Take a nap.” Nick finished for him. Nick took Josh by the hand and guided him into the room. The electric feeling that went through both of them made them shudder. “He works you hard doesn’t he.”

“Please play for me.” Josh asked quietly as he settled down on a padded bench. Nick started to play a soft melody and Josh was soon asleep. While he played Nick drew Josh several times over in his head committing to memory even the smallest detail. Every movement, every breath was like a new discovery that needed to be memorized.

All too soon the lights in the room flashed and a faint ringing could be heard. Afternoon classes were about to start. Nick quietly slipped out of the room and with a grin on his face quickly opened the door of the other room.

The two inside turned guiltily toward the door when it opened. Both were breathing hard and red faced. “You do need to remember to breath every now and again when pashing.” He said and quickly ducked back out the door as both John and Blake started after him. Sticking his head back around the corner he added, “Just thought I’d tell you the first bell’s rung.”

Nick quietly slipped back into his practice room. He hated to wake Josh but it had to be done, afternoon classes were about to start. When Josh woke to see Nick smiling at him a warm feeling spread throughout his body.

“Hey there sleepyhead.” Nick said also feeling that warm feeling throughout his body.

That night Nick drew a total of seven pictures. Unless you looked carefully you would have thought that they were copies of the same picture but what they were was a pictorial record of a sleeping boy. That sleeping boy of course being Josh.

Over the next few weeks Nick’s life was pretty chaotic. School took up much of it but then there was his art, guitar lessons and hanging out with the band. Nick had become an unofficial member of the band writing songs, helping with the equipment, going for food and suchlike. In between school and his after school activities Nick managed to squeeze in homework but only just and that was only because Josh didn’t think his stepfather would let him take up precious study time socializing.

Nick did spend every lunch time with Josh. Whether it be in the library, in the music practice rooms or outside under a tree it didn’t matter to Nick as long as he was with Josh and all they did was talk. The more they talked the more the learnt about each other. There likes and dislikes, their loves and hates and most importantly their hopes and dreams. They were both too scared to include each other in those to start off with but as the days went by they started making plans together even if they weren’t voiced. At night Nick started dreaming more and more about Josh and they weren’t all erotic dreams though many of them were. His favorite was of him and Josh walking along a deserted beach just holding hands at sunset, followed closely by one of him, Josh and a large dog sitting in a field at night looking at the stars during a lunar eclipse but always in his dreams there was a feeling that someone or something was watching, lurking in the darkness waiting and watching.

Almost everything in Nick’s life felt good but he did have a problem. He had missed so much school that he sometimes struggled to pick up what was going on in class. While most of his teachers were understanding and gave him a hand there were some that were less than sympatric and threw him in the deep end waiting for him to either sink or swim.

Nick felt he was sinking and it was his uncle Eric who threw him a lifeline just by saying he should find someone in his class willing to help him. That got the wheels in Nick’s mind working, ‘how about someone not in my class but doing the same subjects’ Nick thought and the pieces of a plan fell into place.

The next day Nick told his plan to Josh who with one minor change thought it was great idea. The plan was simple enough Josh would become Nick’s tutor in the subject he was struggling with. The only change was the location Nick has wanted for it to be at his place but Josh thought that his stepfather would never allow that so they would study at Josh’s place.

“That should still leave us an hour or so before he gets home.” Josh said almost apologetically.

“An hour alone, what are we going to do with it?” Nick asked grinning.

“I think we can think of something.” Josh said returning the grin. They went to Josh’s home right after school and Josh led them right to his room so he could put his bag away and change out of his school clothes.

To Nick Josh’s room lacked personality. There were no posters, no pictures, no personal touches at all, just a chest of draws, a desk and a bed that Josh was standing next to as Nick walked around the room coming to stand in front of him. Both boys surveyed each other in that moment of confused anticipation. Nick watched as Josh’s eyes became dull and a blank look spread across his face. A little taken aback by Josh’s expression Nick didn’t immediately register Josh sinking to his knees and starting to fumble with his belt. Nick stopped him and guided him back up to a standing position. Josh had a confused look on his face and opened his mouth to say something but instead of letting him speak Nick kissed him taking the words from his mouth. For the first time Nick let his tongue explore the inside of Josh’s mouth and enjoyed the sensation of the magical dance his tongue played with Josh’s.

The sparkle had returned to Josh’s eyes when Nick broke the kiss. Nick gave him another kiss on the lips and started to slowly unbutton Josh’s shirt. Nick let his hand wander over Josh’s body under the unbuttoned shirt as he moved around to Josh’s back. Nick kissed the back of Josh’s neck as he removed the shirt discarding it along with his own. Nick held him from behind wrapping his arms around Josh, feeling their sensitive flesh touch and letting his warm breath touch Josh’s neck making him shudder. The shudder didn’t come from the touch or the breath but from somewhere deep inside Josh that moved throughout his entire body until it reached Nick where it moved through him as well.

Nick released the embrace and slowly blew down the length of Josh’s spine as he sank to his knees. Turning Josh around Nick slipped his socks off Josh’s feet pausing to wonder what it would be like to suck on those marvelous toes. Nick let his hands wander over Josh’s still clothed thighs before gradually bit by bit unzipping Josh’s pants and letting them fall to the floor revealing a pair of very tight white briefs. Nick blew across the front of the briefs making what they contained twitch trying to break through the thin material and their owner let out a quiet moan.

Smiling Nick guided Josh down onto the bed before taking a step back and lowering is own jeans and briefs. He paused for a few moments drinking in the vision on the bed. Seeing Josh laying there for the first time would be something he would never forget. Slowly he moved to the bed and kissed Josh letting his tongue find its way into Josh’s mouth.

Moving carefully but with purpose Nick worked his way down Josh’s body with kisses stopping to tease both his nipples and bellybutton in turn. Nick loved Josh’s bellybutton and wanted to spend forever exploring it with his tongue but other things needed attending to. Bit by bit Nick lowered Josh’s briefs finally releasing little Josh from his cage. Nick leaned back marveling at what lay below him. To Nick it was utter perfection and he wanted to study it for hours committing every crease every fold to memory not that there was much of either at that moment. Nick shuddered when he took Josh into his mouth letting his tongue swirl around Josh’s shaft. He wasn’t sure of what he was doing but thought he was doing ok when he heard Josh start to whimper like a puppy so he speeded up his bobbing action, each time trying to swallow more of Josh while Josh bucked to get more of himself into Nick’s willing mouth. It started slowly deep inside Josh but quickly built momentum engulfing his whole body. Nick felt it happening and eased back to enjoy the taste that was uniquely Josh.

Not being able to find his voice Nick held Josh while he basked in the special glow of the gift Josh had given him. Neither boy spoke happy in each other’s company and not wanting the moment to end but words needed to be spoken and it was Josh who said them breaking the spell that unfortunately needed to be broken.

“He’ll be home soon.”

“I suppose we should get up.” Nick said not really meaning it as he played with Josh’s hair. Josh rested his head on Nicks chest feeling the warmth soak into him and sighed happily. He couldn’t remember feeling happier or more content than he did at that moment.

“Next time,” He whispered in a far away dreamy voice, “I want to feel you inside me.”

If there are any errors in this story I appologise. Unfortunately the end of January 2002 also saw the departure of my editor. Big thanks to Oldie for fixing what needed to be repaired.

Any comments welcome though if you have a flame please keep it to youself as this story is of a personel nature