Last Perfect Snow
By: Jonathan Unruh
Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction any similarities to real people alive or dead and any events are coincidental only. This work may contain topics or events that some readers may find offensive by continuing beyond this point you accept responsibly for any offense that you may take and will not hold the author responsible for such offense. Do not continue if the reading of this material is an offense in your locality. You have been warned. This work is the sole property of the author and should not be reproduced in any way, shape, or form without written consent of the author.
Concussions and Kisses
Winter is the best time of year. I know most of you think
I'm nuts for saying that but it's totally true. Just think about it for a
moment with me. Yes it's cold but what better excuse can you get to light a
fire and cuddle with someone you love for warmth? The snow though that's the
best part of all. I love it when it first snows with the moon just peaking over
the horizon, and the land is completely untouched. There is nothing more
beautiful than that first perfect snow. Fall comes and turns the world into
this brown and dirty looking world, but that first perfect snow makes
everything so beautiful.
More than that though winter is special time for me because it was in winter just after that first perfect snow that I met Jordan. Remember when I said I wanted to cuddle with someone in front of the fire, its Jordan that I want to do that with more than anything, but I guess I'm getting ahead of myself. First off I guess I should tell you about me.
My name is Ryan Matthews, and I'm probably the most unremarkable person you will ever meet. I'm not the captain of the football team; I don't even play football or any sports for that matter. I'm not the smartest person in my class, I have never won any awards, and I'm certainly not the best looking person in my school. I grew up in Cider Woods, your typical small town where everyone knows you by your first name. Everyone knows who I am, but since I have never done anything of note I'm rarely ever talked about. Which is saying a lot, because in a town as small as ours everyone talks about everyone, and don't let them tell you otherwise, because even if they deny it gossip is a small town's favorite activity. The only thing exciting to ever happen to me is meeting Jordan Daniels.
It had just snowed the first perfect snow of the year and I was doing my favorite thing. I went for a walk and made those first tracks in the snow, leaving my prints behind for all to see. I love the sound that snow makes when it's still crisp and fresh. If you've never heard it before, there are just no words to describe it. I get so lost in my own thoughts when I go for my walks after a snow fall. I walk for hours and hours just thinking and enjoying the snow. I don't even notice anything around me, and that day was no different.
I had just finished crossing the field just outside my house and was entering the school football field when.... SMACK... and then I was out like a light. I know that's a weird saying `out like a light' but if you have ever been knocked out that's exactly how it feel, like someone flicked a switch in your head and poof you're dead to the world.
It's weird the things that go through your head when your are unconscious and laying in the snow. You would think there would be the obvious thoughts like, What the hell happened? Where am I? That sort of thing. Not me though, in the blackness of my unconsciousness I was thinking about when I would have my first kiss. You would think that by the age of seventeen I would have kissed someone, but when you grow up in a small town and you are most likely the only gay guy for miles the options are... rather limited.
As I was coming too, however; it seemed like God had heard my prayer and sent me an angel. He was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. It was like he came straight out of a magazine and was now standing over me. His bright blue eyes shone brighter than any reflection of the winter sun in the untouched snow. They showed so much depth that you just wanted to get lost in them. His dirty blond hair was cut in that perfect messy look that just makes guys look so sexy, and while I think it looks good on other guys, on him it was flawless.
Maybe it was the knock to the head, but as I looked into his perfect face, I was completely at a loss for words. My body just would not move, all I could do was stare. I know that I have used the word perfect a lot, but there just isn't another word in the English language to describe what I was seeing; heck, even his freckles were perfect. I wanted to do nothing more in that moment than burn his image in my mind and carry it with me for all time. Even if I had died right then and there, I would have gone happily because I had just seen my Angel.
"Are you ok dude?"
His voice is so perfect. Ok, ok I'll stop using that word but really, I can't think of a better word so if it slips out again, I'm sorry. If you met him you would know where I'm coming from.
He knelt down next to me and his face got close to mine. My head began to spin as he got closer. Despite the cold I could smell his skin and it was intoxicating -- so much so that I thought I was going to pass out again from pleasure. I mean how can one person be so... well you know what I'm going to say.
"Can you hear me? Are you ok, do you need help?"
Apparently my lack of a response was truly worrying this god of a boy because his face began to scrunch up. It only made him cuter, and it also showed me how truely caring and compassion he was.
Mustering up every ounce of self-control and strength that I could, I open my mouth to try to speak; but nothing came out. I mean what do you say to a wet dream come to life as he kneels over you? All I could think about was kissing his red lips. Wait did I just say that? I guess I did, but honestly as I moved my mouth to speak it had other ideas in mind. It wanted that kiss. Luckily the knock on my head had sapped my energy or I would have snogged him right there and then. I could just imagine the talk in the coffee shop after that. I would be the talk of the town for the next ten years -- or at least until Suzie Holland gets her head stuck in the duct at the school outside the boy's bathroom again. She's never going to live that story down and while it's a funny story, believe me, it's not half as interesting as the cute boy that was in front of me at that moment.
"Hold on I'm going to go and find you some help" he said breaking eye contact. He looked around trying to decide where he could find me the help that he apparently thought I needed.
While he was looking for a rescue party I was losing my mind. There was no way I wanted him to leave my side. Heck it broke my heart when we lost eye contact for that moment. "No" I said in near panic fearing that he was going to disappear and this would turn out to be a dream. I wanted him to stay. No, I needed him to stay even if it was only for a moment longer. I wanted to freeze this moment in time and live a life time in that second. I feared that if he left I might lose that feeling forever. There are some feelings that you just never want to miss out on. "I'm ok, I just need a moment" I managed to say this more calmly, but still revealed more worry than I wanted to.
"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice filled with compassion and concern. "You took quiet the knock to the head. You might even have a concussion. I think I should find help."
As he tried to move to leave my entire body went into panic mode. I reached up and grabbed his jacket to stop him. "No really, it's ok. I just need a moment and I'll be fine."
"Ok, but I'm staying with you just in case."
It took all the self control I had left to stop from sighing in relief as I lay my head back down onto the cold snow. He was going to stay and those few words suddenly made me happier than anything anyone had ever said before.
All I wanted to do was lay here in the cold snow and watch him as he sat beside me, but I knew all that was going to do was make him uncomfortable and he would eventually leave. As a preventive measure, I decided that talking was going to be my best option. So far that hadn't been my strong suit with him, but it was the best I could do, and we did have something to talk about. "So what happened to me anyway, I was just walking around when, boom."
The look on his face was priceless. He had this sheepish look, that sparked my desire to kiss him again. It was all I could think about, even as he began to explain what had happened. I didn't hear what he was saying at first. All I saw was his lips moving and I imagined what they would feel like, taste like. My mind was on anything but the words that were coming out. "... So with school out for Christmas break I really haven't made any friends yet." Made any friends yet? I was having a hard time imagining this Greek god ever had trouble in that area, when it dawned on me that he must be new to town. This made sense. I knew everyone in town, and there was no way I could ever miss meeting him unless he had just moved here. "I was getting the lay of the land here at the school. I started batting a few rocks out into the football field when I hit you in the head. I'm so sorry for all this, I really didn't see you."
He looked so concerned, so worried that he had ruined something. I, on the other hand, was grateful it had happened despite the discomfort in the back of my head where a goose egg had surely begun to form. If he hadn't hit me I know for a fact that I would have never gotten the courage to talk to him. Even if by some miracle I had managed to get the courage to talk to him I would have messed it up. As it was I was doing pretty well despite my overwhelming desire to kiss him. If I managed to keep that under control I might actually be making a new friend here.
"It's really ok, I'm fine and besides I should have been watching where I was going. You see I love the snow and I tend to lose myself in thought when it first snows, and..." I froze realizing that I had begun to ramble. I think I even began to blush, but as I turned away in shame I swear I caught him blushing too, although that could have just been the cold.
"I know what you mean I love the snow too"
I turned to him again in utter shock. Not many people agree with me on this point, most around here think that I'm nuts for my long walks in the fresh snow, no matter how cold it is.
"We didn't get much snow back in Vancouver, even when it did snow it never stayed long, or it turned to slush in the sun. Here though, it stays so crisp and pristine, I thinks that's why I had to come out to explore."
I almost died when he said that. Was there really another person in the world who thought like me? I sat up and looked into his eyes. The need to kiss him became overwhelming. The closer I got to his face the less control I had, and then it was too late. Something inside took over; throwing better reason out the window and without a second thought, I leaned in and kissed his perfect lips.
I have never tasted anything like his lips in my life. They were so soft, and had this sweet taste almost like honey. It was the most perfect feeling in every way. All my dreams about this moment were nothing compared to the real thing. In a million years, I could never ever have another perfect moment like that -- kissing someone in the snow.
That one kiss made everything fall into place and make sense. I have always known I was gay, ever since I was eight years old and I had a crush on the box boy Eric at the grocery store. Man was I pissed when he married that Tammy bitch from up the road. Even with that realisation back then, things still didn't always make sense. There were always a few pieces missing. Now, however; everything was clear. All the feelings that I had been having, which left me confused, suddenly made sense. With this simple and precious kiss it was clear. I knew who I was, and what I wanted and I wanted this.
While dreams are beautiful and this moment was a dream come true, reality always comes in the next second. With a sharp realisation I remembered where I was, and what I was doing. I couldn't face him, couldn't stand the certain rejection that I had just brought upon myself. Any moment now he was going to push me back, give me a black eye and make me the talk of the town. It's not like I was hiding the fact that I was gay, but in a small town like this it's also not something you advertise.
Breaking away from the kiss I did the only thing that I could do. I ran. I ran all the way home, without looking back, without letting my ears hear anything he might have or did say, all I wanted to do was escape, and so that's what I did.
A Note From the Author: I would like to take this moment to thank you the reader for taking the time to read the first instalment of my newest story. It has been awhile since I have submitted a story to Nifty, and didn't find it an easy road to get back into writing. It does feel good though. If you like this story and want to tell me about it please feel free to send me an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org I would love to hear from you! I would also like to thank all the people that helped make this story possible, especially Eliot who spent a great deal of time working on editing this story. Trust me without him you wouldn't understand a word of what I have written. While I may be the talent in this instance he is the star! Look forward to chapter two coming SOON!