The LeFleur-Winfield Men III: Sid the Kid 2
by John Michael
In this chapter:
Sidney: 19, Sophomore at UCLA
Kai: 19, Sophomore at UCLA
Trent Mattingly: 18 -- 19, Freshman at UCLA
Part Three: Sid the Kid -- Chapter 2
It was the end of the second week of school and Sidney knew his imagination was not active enough to make it seem as if one of the most attractive girls in his history class was eyeing him every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Sidney decided to smile this time, as if to say, "I noticed you noticing me." The mysterious girl smiled back and even waved; from the time he saw her smile, Sidney was entranced by this beautiful seductress.
Not having much experience with talking to anyone with the intent of dating them; Sidney was immediately nervous when, at the end of class, the mysterious girl made her way toward Sidney. The mysterious girl looked very cute, in Sidney's opinion, when she stopped to introduce herself by saying, "Hi, I'm Bly."
Sidney still felt nervous, but responded, "Hi, Bly, I'm Sid-"
Before he could respond, Bly added, "You're Sidney LeFleur-Winfield; I know, I'm a Pens fan."
"Oh, cool! So, you pay attention to AHL teams, too?"
"Only the Baby Pens; I follow the Pens, Nucks, Kings, Jets, Yotes, and Wild."
Sidney was getting excited about Bly because of her interest in his favorite sport and, hopefully, future career. Sidney and Bly continued their conversation and started to form what Sidney felt was an immediate friendship and connection. Sidney instantly wanted more, he was sure of this, but Bly, unlike Kai, was hard to read.
The two never stopped their conversation, not even when they left the class and went to the coffee shop. Sidney and Bly ordered their coffees together and continued their conversation until they sat down at Kai and Sidney's favorite table; Kai was there and was wondering who was this girl and why was she intruding on his and Sidney's Monday-Wednesday-Friday ritual.
Kai also noticed that Sidney was beaming from ear-to-ear when he said, "Kai, this is Bly; Bly, this is my bestie, Kai."
"Hey, Kai," Bly exclaimed with annoying exuberance.
"Hi," Kai responded, with opposite level of excitement. Sidney hardly noticed this exchange, as he was still beaming from ear-to-ear.
Sidney started telling Kai about Bly, which forced Bly to enter the conversation, or lack thereof on Kai's part. Sidney and Bly's conversation started again and was in full swing, something Kai was feeling uncomfortable about. Try as he might, Sidney could not get Kai to join into the conversation, his best friend just was not interested in Sidney's new infatuation.
At the end of the coffee break, Kai watched as Sidney exchanged numbers with Bly and then ended the conversation. Sidney came back to Kai, still beaming and said, "I got a number; we're going out tomorrow! You need to help me think of where to bring her for our first date!" Kai was now officially worried that Sidney was now starting to embrace his true self, a straight man with an overbearing gay best friend.
Kai was sitting in the living room typing a lab report on his laptop when Sidney walked into the front door Saturday night after his date with Bly. Kai did not have to look at Sidney to know his friend was smiling; he heard it in Sidney's voice when Sidney said, "Tonight was awesome!"
When Kai did not respond, Sidney sat down next to his best friend, sighed, and added, "Look; I know this is hard for you, but I've come to ask for your permission to continue dating Bly. I won't do it unless you allow me to."
For the first time since Sidney last night, Kai made eye contact with Sidney, much to Sidney's relief. Kai responded, saying, "Let me double my antidepressants and then I'll get back to you on that."
Sidney was taken aback by this comment, not knowing whether to accept it as sarcasm or piercing disapproval from his best friend. Sidney knew he had allowed things to go too far with Kai and this is proof of that. Finally, before Sidney could say anything, Kai added, "Of course you can date her; I don't even know why you asked."
"Well, with our relationship, I thought that asking you would be appropriate."
"Sid; what the hell is our relationship? What am I to you?" Kai was now looking into his friend's eyes with deep, pleading eyes, begging Sidney for an answer.
Sidney was quick to answer, saying, "You're my best friend and my brother and I love you dearly."
"No, Sidney; what am I to you, really? Am I some piece of meat that you've used until I'm no good anymore and now I'm to be tossed aside?"
Sidney paused, breaking his eyes away from Kai's glare; now focusing on something else besides Kai's eyes, Sidney answered, "You know that's not true."
"Then look at me and tell me so!"
Sidney's eyes snapped back to Kai's and Sidney, punctuating every word, responded, "That is not true!"
Sidney added, "You know how I feel about us. I have no regrets; none! I love you, I'm happy you were my first, but I am straight, Kai! We knew this day would come; now please, just give me a real yes or no answer."
"What if I disapprove?"
"I'd be a little disappointed, but I'd respect your wishes, after all, we do have to live with each other civilly."
"Like I said before, Sidney, you can date her."
Sidney hugged his best friend and decided to lighten the mood by adding, "You were kidding about doubling up on your meds, right?"
"Maybe not; I could use the higher dose."
Sidney broke the hug and asked, "Shouldn't you let your doctor determine that for you?"
"I don't have to; I just have to call the pharmacist and tell them I decided that doubling my dose works better and they'll change my script. I've already had to do it."
"You don't feel that way again, do you?"
Kai smiled for the first time today and answered, "No."
"Kai; you would tell me if you were depressed, wouldn't you?"
Kai looked at his best friend, saw a face of concern and answered, "Yes; I would."
Not totally convinced, Sidney accepted his friend's answer at face value, deciding he would have to look after Kai even more closely than he thought necessary. Sidney answered, "Good; I could never lose you. If I lost you, the world would lose me, as well."
Holding back tears, Kai shook his head in understanding and hugged his best friend. The boys exchanged "I love you's" before exchanging passionate kisses, something Kai was happy Sidney decided to keep in their "different" relationship.
Sidney managed to find Bly's apartment through memory and the occasional peak at his GPS; he parked his car and took the elevator to her floor. He sent a text message to Bly as he left the elevator and was heading toward her apartment. When he got to her apartment, the door was ajar and Sidney waltzed right in. Sidney continued to the kitchen where he was met with a beaming, skimpy pajama-clad Bly. Sidney hugged and kissed his girlfriend just as another guy entered the room to open and rummage through the refrigerator. Bly noticed Sidney looking in the direction of the refrigerator wondering, what the fuck?
Bly said, "Sidney, this is Trent." After Trent looked up to acknowledge Sidney, Bly moved to the side as Trent moved across the kitchen to greet Sidney; Bly responded, as Trent gravitated toward Sidney, "And Trent, this is Sidney, my boyfriend I've told you so much about." After the two men shook hands, Sidney was left wondering why had he not heard about Trent before and just who was he exactly? Trent was short, probably around five-foot-two, muscular, and in Sidney's opinion, very attractive; hell, Trent, although a little rough around the edges, was downright beautiful and was Bly's type.
When the men broke the handshake, Trent grabbed a loaf of bread and began making a sandwich; as if Bly was reading Sidney's mind, she responded, "Trent is my roommate and my best friend."
"Oh, cool." Trent, obviously shy, smiled in Sidney's direction and then continued making his sandwich. Assuming Sidney would be disturbed by the fact she chose to room with a man, she said, "Don't worry about Trent and me," and before Trent could stop her, she continued, "Trent's gay."
Trent sat in the seat with his hands on his finished sandwich and a very angry look on his face. Sidney only said, "Okay," when Trent rose, grabbed his keys, and walked out the front door.
"I think you may have fucked up," Sidney said, trying to point out his girlfriend's folly subtly so that she would know that she should not do something like this in the future.
"He'll be fine."
"Bly; you just outed him to a complete stranger."
"He already knew who you were."
"But I knew nothing about him and now, he's going to think all I care about is his sexuality. I have to go find him to let him know that that isn't the case. Do you have any idea where he could have gone?"
"At Santa Monica Beach, most likely. Do you want me to come?"
"Nah; it'll be quicker if I go; I'm already dressed and ready to go." Not willing to argue with that logic, Bly watched as her boyfriend left to help her best friend.
Sidney walked toward the beach and saw Trent siting near the water; he continued until he reached Trent. When Sidney approached Trent, Trent jumped up and immediately got defensive, saying, "Dude, what the fuck are you doin' following me?"
Sidney saw Trent's hands forming fists as Trent was getting ready to strike; a little nerved by this Sidney quickly announced, "Whoa; I'm just here to tell you that I'm on your side! I agree, it was wrong for Bly to out you like that; I talked to her about it and I don't think she'll do that again. I'm just here to say that I'm fine with your sexuality and that you have a friend in me."
Sidney noticed Trent get a little less tense; Trent asked, "And how can I trust you?"
"I am probably the most tolerant straight guy you'll ever meet. I was in my high school's GSA's and now I'm in UCLA's GSA. I guess none of that is as important as the fact that my two of my older brothers are gay and bisexual and my dads are, obviously, gay. Also, my best friend is gay; Trent, trust me when I say this, `I am on your side!'"
Trent was now at ease as he turned back toward the beach and took his seat at the edge of the water line. Sidney removed his shoes and joined Trent, sitting and listening to the waves crashing on the beach and on their feet. The two sat there for a while in silence until Trent broke it, saying, "As you can tell from the accent, I'm not from around here."
Sidney sat and listened, deciding that letting Trent speak was the best course of action. Trent continued, "I'm from Silver Creek; it's a small town in Mississippi." Trent paused before continuing, "I left my family and have no intentions of returning." Trent was staring out into the dark ocean, holding back tears before adding, "As far as I'm concerned, I have no family." This admission shocked Sidney, but before he could have any sort of reaction, he noticed tears streaming down Trent's face.
In an effort to console Trent, Sidney reached out and grabbed Trent's hand and squeezed. Trent regained his composure and said, "I'm sorry for unloading on you like this."
Sidney tried to reassure Trent by saying, "It's okay, Trent; I'm here to listen."
Trent broke away from staring at the ocean and now stared into Sidney's eyes as if searching for reassurance that Sidney was indeed looking out for his best interests. Trent returned his focus on the ocean and continued, "I had no one to talk to about being gay...I knew that I was gay and, from the internet and TV, I knew what gays and lesbians were. I've known since I could remember that I was."
After another pause, Trent continued, "Well, I thought I could trust one of my best buddies, who was on the team with me; I play football. I thought I could trust this person with my darkest secret, so I came out to him and him only. The following day, I go to school and I walk down the hallway to go to my locker and everybody was staring at me. People were having these hushed conversations as they would look at me. When I made eye contact, they would look in another direction. We had to have had more gay students there, but no one was stupid enough to come out or to associate with anyone who was out.
"When I got to my locker, which was with the other athletes' lockers near the athletic department, I see my friends having a conversation near it; when I tried to talk to them, they would give me the cold shoulder, like I was a leper, or something. Of course, as the day dragged on, I became aware what people were saying...everyone in the school knew that I was gay. Everyone I normally associated with didn't even want to be in the same room. Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse, I get home and both my parents and my two older brothers are there. I knew the shit was about to get real when I saw this. I slowly walked into the door, hoping that I would get a break before having to deal with my father. I sought out my mother, who, when I found her, told me to stay put, that `she'd be back.' So I waited and then in comes her with my daddy, and Luke and Matt.
"I can't even remember all that was said, but the general consensus was that I had to go as soon as I graduated. When I graduated this June, I left. I got a football scholarship at a few schools, all of which were in Mississippi, Georgia, or Louisiana. All except one. When Los Angeles was added to my list of options, it was like a huge boulder was lifted off my shoulders. God had answered my prayers; I have no intention of returning to Mississippi." Trent ended his statement with a sob, followed by a river a tears as he started to cry. Sidney deduced that this is probably the first time Trent said this aloud and actually really heard himself say it. Sidney pulled Trent into a hug and allowed Trent to soak his collar in tears as Trent held Sidney and sobbed onto Sidney's shoulder.
After crying for a while, Trent, without letting go of Sidney, added, "You're the first person I've ever told that to. It was not an easy decision, but I can't go back there. I don't even think I'm welcome. I wasn't allowed to go to church; I became an instant outcast at school. In the grocery store, people would look at me like I was some kind of zoo animal. All the guys on the team, including the guy who was supposed to be my best buddy, started asking me to do sexual things to them. I had to get out of there!"
Sidney pulled Trent tighter and the two sat embraced for a while, silently listening to the waves. After Trent calmed down, Sidney released the embrace and the two boys watched the ocean for nearly a half hour, enjoying the other's presence.
Trent was the first to stand, followed by Sidney. Trent turned to Sidney and said, "Thank you, Sidney; I really needed to let that out. Thanks for listening to me and I'm sorry if I ruined your night with Bly."
"Bly and I will have many nights, Trent. You seemed more important at the moment. On the bright side, you feel better and I have a new friend. It's a win-win situation."
Trent stuck his hand out to shake Sidney's hand, but instead of receiving a handshake, he was enveloped by Sidney's hug. Trent returned the hug, holding Sidney tightly, enjoying the still much needed embrace. Sidney and Trent parted and went their separate ways, both excited to have a new friend.
When Sidney walked into the apartment, it was after midnight. The foyer light was on, something Kai and Sidney would do when they knew the other person would be returning home late. Sidney went upstairs and into their bedroom. Kai was sound asleep with a book in his hand. Sidney gently pried the book from Kai's fingers and then started to undress. Once dressed in his favorite bedtime pajamas, his birthday suit, he climbed into bed with his best friend. Before facing away from Kai, Sidney looked at the angelic face of his sleeping friend and said, "I have no idea what you endured when you grew up surrounded by hatred, but know that you are loved, my friend; I love you Kai." Sidney kissed his friend on the lips and then faced away from Kai to get into his sleeping position. As if expecting Sidney's presence, Kai wrapped his arms around Sidney and the two fell into their comfortable and familiar spooning position; Sidney was sound asleep fast, surrounded by the heat of his best friend.
End of Chapter 2
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