Date: Sun, 5 Jan 2003 20:37:35 -0600 From: laskofoley@yahoo.com Subject: Life Without Another Chapter 1 Well, this is my first attempt to write a story, as I only usually do poetry, but, what can I say, I have to try everything. I know that a lot of people that I've shown have liked this, but in a certain way, I don't. I feel throughout the story that I slowly demolish the characters, because Chapter One in any story is usually to establish the personalities of the main character(s). I seem to have ended it too quickly, and am going to have to write more chapters just to get the character's backgrounds set. But what can I say; we all try something new at some point. Disclaimer: If you are under the age of 18, please leave now. If you are offended by male/male sexual relations, then please, walk out of the door and don't let it hit your ass on the way out...and then jump onto the bandwagon. It's now 2003. Any Character names that coincide with a real person's name are completely coincidental. Personalities are established off of people that I know, and therefore, oh well. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Life Without Another This is my story; I'm going to tell it how I want to. It all started in fifth grade, when childhood still had its perks, and barely any faults. Mom and Dad were driving home from a party while I stayed with the babysitter, and it was snowing. They couldn't even stop spinning when the driver of the other car rammed into the front of the car. They spun for at least fifty yards, and dad was killed on impact with the tree the car wrapped around. Mom went to the hospital with just a few scratches and bruises, and I didn't even know all of this was going on until the next morning, when the babysitter was still there. "Jayna, Jayna...wake up! Jayna WAKE UP! Where are my mommy and daddy?" I said this at least three times while waiting for her to wake up and find out where they were and why they weren't home. "Relax Law, I'm sure they just got caught up in the snowstorm and stopped on the side of the road, go wake Trent up, would you please?" Jayna was always a comforting baby sitter, always knew what to say to me to soothe me, she could read me like a book. I went upstairs and got my little brother Trent up, who was a third grader at the time. We came downstairs and started talking to Jayna and playing games with her, and when we were about to start playing a game, the phone rang. Jayna picked it up as usual, listened for a minute, and then dropped the receiver and pulled Trent and me into a tight hug. I remember exactly what she said, as it would change my life forever. She even used my real name, which nobody that knew me really well did. "Justice... Trent... your parents were in a very bad car wreck last night," this is where she started to cry "and your father went to live with the angels in Heaven, and will always watch over you. Your mom has some scratches but needs to stay in the hospital for a few days just to make sure that everything is okay with her." I cried for days. My Father, Mike Walker was killed in a car wreck caused by a drunken driver, and my mother Evelyn Walker was in the god damned hospital with internal bleeding. I was 11 years old, how could I have taken it any better? "Justice, I'm going to be staying here with you and Trent for a few days until your mom can come home, and even after then I might stay to help all of you." I had the sweetest baby sitter. She would do anything for my family, and I really appreciated it back then, but I didn't really realize it, I took everything for granted. A week later my mom was home on crutches. Jayna helped with everything. The cooking, the cleaning, making sure Trent and I showered. Every possible thing was taken care of by her. This all happened in January of that year. When I went back to school I met a boy who had the same problem as me, he only had one parent... his mom. He was the cutest thing even then, but I'll get there. Tyler Sullivan was his name, and I remember when I laid eyes on him, I thought he was going to be my friend. He got partnered up with me on a small Science project we had to do, and part of it had to be done at home. We did the project, and got to know each other, and found out that we both had a lot in common. We liked the same movies, music, cartoons, everything. We started to go to each other's houses a lot, and summer came along, and we did a lot of things together. We became the best of friends. That was the past... This is where the story was written 5 years later... This is not the present... But still a remnant of the past... Callighan moved here in ninth grade, and I thought he was gorgeous. He wasn't the typical guy. He was about 6'1", straight brown hair, soft medium brown eyes, an earring, and a smile to die for. He approached our table at lunch on his first day, and asked if he could sit with us, because he had a few classes with Tyler and me. So the first day he sat with our group, and we all had a blast. We made sure he felt welcome; he really appreciated it. Throughout lunch, we kept changing glances, or maybe it was just my imagination, and I wanted to be exchanging glances with this cutie here. Tyler could tell what I was doing, and he was pretty angered by it. Tyler has had a crush on me since the middle of seventh grade when I kissed him on the cheek, and he kissed me back, but on the lips, with a passionate fire. Tyler had grown into quite a guy. He wasn't extremely sporty, but he played soccer and had a nice firm body, pretty tan, curly light brown hair with highlights, blue eyes, all in his 5'11" frame. He's a very loyal friend; he has stuck by my side since our project, helping me with problems, homework, sticking up for me when I couldn't, and just being there. We, well, it's hard to say this...but in a way, we sort of became each other's father figure. We disciplined each other, but since we kissed "punishment" was to kiss the other person. Not really discipline to me, because it made me want to be bad, but I couldn't be with Tyler like that yet. It just wasn't right. Me...well, I was there. Not really a looker, but I get my fair share of people telling me I'm cute. I'm about 6' tall, have short light brown hair with platinum highlights, not really tan at all, due to my writing and my computer, a lean muscular body, and multi colored eyes that are green at first look, and people get "lost" in them. That's me. Law. Justice Walker. My eyes have been described as black holes, because people cannot look away by will when they look at me. So, I guess I was a looker after all. Callighan was made felt welcome by everyone in the group. Throughout freshman year, he pushed his way up the ladder of the group, and ended up between Tyler and me, the leaders of the group. He stayed up there for the rest of the year and throughout sophomore year. When we got cars it was really great. We could have complete freedom with each other now, our friends, us, me, them, he, she, whomever. We would go to the movies and see whatever we hadn't already seen, unless we really liked a movie. Of course, that sounds like every typical high schooler, but trust me, we were the extremely fun yet abnormal high schoolers. Our group had its quirks. But I made sure everything kept in order. I can't really tell anyone to do anything, but I resolved a lot of the fighting. But Tyler and Callighan were just complete opposites. Always getting into an argument and putting me in the middle. They both liked me and each of them knew it, but neither said anything. I liked both of them, but I kept my mouth shut also, as I was not going to start a war in my Texas town. They both didn't know how I played with the other. I would sneak off and make out with Callighan, and then go make out with Tyler. I loved both, and I can honestly say that I do still. But when they both found out, they were both really pissed off at me for a few weeks. Neither came to sit at the table at lunch and they wouldn't go out with us when we went somewhere as a group. This resulted in a month of loneliness for me, and I knew that both of them were probably very lonely and still upset about this, I screwed everything up pretty bad. After probably five weeks, I decided to call Scooter (the nickname I gave to Callighan because it was his middle name) and see if he wanted to go to a movie with just me and then stay at my house, since I drove and he didn't. He agreed to go with me as long as it was only us and nobody else was there, if there was someone we knew, we were going out of town to another theater, and only if I bought him dinner. I told him to dress nicely, and I took him to a nice restaurant. Our tab for just the two of us came to $40 and I was happy that he appreciated it. We ended up seeing a comedy, and we were both laughing our asses off throughout the movie. When we left the theatre, Tyler was going into the one that we left, and when he saw us, he started crying. That was the one thing I could never stand to see him do, cry. "Tyler! SULLI COME BACK!" I called Tyler Sulli because I thought it was the most adorable thing in the world. He ran into the theater, and I wasn't allowed to go back in... Callighan felt really bad for him, and I knew I felt worse. When we got into my car, Scooter leaned over and kissed my cheek and said that he had a good time. We had a few hours until our curfews and as I was taking him home, I made a sharp turn to go to my old thinking spot, where it was possible to view the whole town after dark. "JESUS Law, that was a sharp turn, I would like to live so I can have a little Callighan running around one day." When he said this I looked at him and stopped the car. He looked at me, grinned and said that he was just joking to see what my reaction would be. "Justice, I'm so sorry about all of this, coming here last year, intruding onto you and Tyler's relationship, fucking things up last month, just everything, I can't believe that I did all of that. I really didn't mean to, Justice, I didn't." Scooter, I learned, had this thing with apologizing even when he didn't need to, or even when he didn't do anything, he was just a very courteous person. I stopped the car yet again. "Listen, Callighan, it's not your fault, it's mine. You obviously know now that I have feelings for both of you, but it's not like I'll ever be able to express both loves, especially if you and Tyler hate each other." "Law, I don't hate him, I'm defensive of what I want to be mine." I smiled and finished driving. It was quite cold out for being a March day and I was happy I had 2 blankets and a few towels in the trunk of my car. We laid the towels down and sat on top of them, each of us wrapping a blanket around ourselves. For a while we just sat there and Callighan commented on how beautiful it was. We wrestled around for a while, just playing, acting like we were eight years old. I then took his blanket and wrapped it around me also, leaving Scooter in the cold. "C'mon, Law, please! I want a blanket! I'm freezing!" Callighan was obviously not joking around, and I could tell he was distraught over the loss of his warmth. "Okay, Scooter...if you want a blanket, you're going to share both with me, but first, unbutton the top 2 buttons of your shirt." I know, I'm probably going to get in more trouble, but what can I say...I'm a natural at hitting on people. I grinned deviously at him and I knew I would probably get my way. Only, I didn't, he unbuttoned the whole shirt. "How about this Law? Would this work for you?" Obviously, he failed "Listening to Directions 101." "Look, Scooter, I said top 2, so, you don't get a blanket." I could have sworn, my look couldn't have been any more evil at that time, and my eyes probably were shining my evil all over the place. Callighan took my advice and buttoned all but the top two buttons of his blue Tommy Hilfiger button down shirt. I let him sit in between my legs facing out. After I wrapped the blankets around us, I kissed the back of his head lightly and put my head onto his shoulder, just listening to him breathe and enjoying the moment with Callighan in my arms. After a few minutes, I decided to do what I really wanted to since I picked him up, since he obviously spent a lot of time getting ready for our "date." I shifted my head, and put my lips in the nape of his neck, after pulling his shirt back. I began to lightly suck and kiss up and down the sides and the nape of his neck. He moaned his agreement, and then he lay back, knocking me down. It didn't really matter to me, I picked up the blankets and got on top of him, still covering him up, but still playing. I got a bit more into it and started to bite him as he moved his hands to the back of my pants and lightly began to squeeze my ass as I marked him. Marked my territory. After probably about fifteen minutes of this, he rolled over on top of me and began to mark me too, only I didn't stop. While he sucked on my neck, I still sucked on and bit his. I put one hand on his ass and one hand on his crotch and I began to massage both with my fingers through the denim of his jeans. This drove him wild, all these sensations, and he became my tiger. He took my shirt off and I took his off, and we kissed, letting our bare chests touch. He moved down and began sucking on my nipples, and using his tongue to play with my belly button, which drove me wild. I did the same to him, and then I looked at his watch. We had 10 minutes to both be home, or else we broke curfew, so we picked everything up, ran into the car, dressed on the way to his house, and when we got there, we were still 5 minutes late, but he kissed me goodnight and said that he hoped that I have a good weekend. When I got home, I walked in, and Trent and my mom both glared at me like I had just shot the Pope or something. I was grounded all day Saturday and had to do yard work on Sunday. For being 10 minutes late home. Ten... freaking... minutes. I just took it in stride that I could have gotten a lot worse, because my mother worries about me being out too late after what happened five years ago. It was only 12:15 and I was pretty worked up and full of energy, so I decided to play Playstation with my brother. He didn't want to play, and he whined that he wanted to watch a movie. While I was picking one out, and he stood above me, he began to laugh. "What's so funny, Squirt?" I barely called him Trent, unless I was pissed off at him or his friends were there... I respected him a lot, he's a great little brother and I'm happy that he's here with me to live this life. "Who did you go out with lover boy?" I swear I must have turned deep crimson, which probably only made my neck look worse. Trent knew about me being gay, and he knew that Tyler was, and he had an idea that Scooter was, but didn't say anything. He was really supportive of me and I returned the favor, making sure to help him with his homework and to keep him out of trouble. "I went out with Scooter, but don't make a big deal out of it, mom doesn't need to know...she'd probably freak out and lecture me again on nothing at all, just for the sake of wanting to feel like a good mom." I didn't blame her; she lost her husband in a car wreck. I loved her more than most people love their parents, most people rebel against them and such, but I was always a good kid to her, except when Trent and I fought. Then there was hell to be paid in this household. She tolerated a lot more than most other parents do, except with curfew and driving. She was always very careful with me on both of those, and I totally understood why. "Hm, well, let's watch this." My brother had a true love for "The Fifth Element" so we took it downstairs and popped it into the DVD player, got something to drink and eat, and sat down to watch it after turning the lights off in the room. Mom was still awake, reading, and she came down to watch the movie with us, as she was a big fan of Bruce Willis. Sitting there in the dim darkness, when the light of the TV got very bright, she must have seen my neck. Oh god. "Trent will you pause this for a moment?" Shit shit shit. I knew what was coming. "Oh, Justice, dear. Why does it look like someone took a whip to your neck?" I swore I couldn't get any redder. "Hmm? Dear? Speak up, I can't hear you. Were you out making out with Callighan McKenzie? Well, well, well, looks like someone enjoys getting licked, sucked, and bitten." Purple, it can't get much worse, she was really out to embarrass me, and I think Trent was even turning red, if he wasn't having seizures from laughing so hard. "You know, Justice, you could at least have the decency to let me meet this boy, I mean, if you're out making out with him and getting bitten, or getting hickeys as your generation calls them." The phone rang just about then. Who the hell would be calling at such a late hour? Being 12:30, I was told to go get the phone, and as I walked out of the room, Trent and Mom both began to laugh their asses off, obviously at the fact that she just embarrassed the hell out of me. When I looked at the caller ID I jumped to the phone to see what was up. It was Tyler... Tyler Sullivan. When I picked up the receiver I could hear someone sobbing, and then Tyler spoke to me. "Listen, Law, I hope you and your little Scooter can live a happy life, because I'm about to get out of it forever." And then he hung up. I shouted "FUCK!" at the top of my lungs, ran through the living room shouting that I had to leave and would be back, that Tyler had gone suicidal. Mom said to not be too long, and gave me the cell phone. I don't think I ever drove that mile faster. When I pulled into the driveway, I could see that Tyler's light was on in his bedroom, so I knew that he probably hadn't done anything to harm himself yet. I ran to the front door and began to bang on it. Ms. Sullivan answered it and looked at me bewildered. I pointed to the window and pushed her aside, running up to his room. I jiggled the doorknob, but it was locked, and I heard Tyler mutter "Go away..." I felt so horrible then, like I betrayed something that I would need in the near future. I of course, had a key to his room, but he didn't know, so I unlocked it, and walked in to find Tyler sitting on his bed looking at pictures of us with a gun aimed at his head. "Tyler, put the gun down, please, don't do something stupid...your mom is probably going to be coming upstairs and I don't want her to see you like this." I was shouting at this point, and she could obviously hear me. "DO YOU WANT TO BE SO FUCKING SELFISH AS TO TAKE AWAY THE ONLY THING YOUR MOTHER HAS ANYMORE? YOUR GOD DAMNED FATHER WAS KILLED AND YOU ARE ALL SHE HAS LEFT." He began to cry even harder, and I took a step toward him. I also heard the patter of footsteps coming up the stairs. It didn't sound like just one pair of footsteps, but like two. It was probably his mother and his twin sister, Alexandra. "Tyler, put the gun down and give it to me." "No. Take another step and I'll kill myself." Oh, this is so pitiful. "Why? You have so much to live for!" His mother was standing in the doorway with a look of shock and fear on her face, crying. His sister looked like she was watching some thriller movie, but had this look of fear on her face, she, after all, did not want to lose her beloved brother. "No, I don't. You are my life Justice. And since that god damned Callighan has moved here, he has taken you away from me, made you his. He stole the one thing other than my mother that I can love. He broke my heart, and so did you. You both fucking trashed my world and I can't take it, I have no fucking reason to live anymore. Go away, you've given up on my already, why try now?" He was really going to do it, he was going to pull that trigger and paint the wall red. I took another step and he said again that if I took another step he would do it. "Okay, you know what Tyler? If you want to fucking end your life so god damned much because somebody supposedly stole me away from you, then go ahead and pull that fucking trigger." His mom was looking at me like she was going to kill me, yet had the same look of fear and shock on her face...and yes, she was still crying. His sister stood there in shock that I would say something like that; after all, she had known me as long as her brother. She took a step into the room. "If you are so stupid as to think that someone would ever take my love or friendship away from you, then you are so fucking stupid, just do it, PAINT THE FUCKING WALL RED. YOU KNOW that I love you, but I also love Callighan." He turned and looked at me as I walked to him picked up the gun, and threw it across the room. He started to cry even harder, and pulled me into a tight hug. His mother walked up to him and I said "Thank you" as quietly as possible, hugged both of us, and then left to go downstairs and hopefully to sleep. Alexandra, however, got onto the bed and hugged him, rambling on about how happy she was that he didn't do his stupid act of desperation. She then also left to go to bed. I stayed there for at least 15 minutes just hugging Tyler telling how much I do love him, telling him I care. He then saw my neck. "Law, what the hell happened to you? Did you and Scooter go and make out for a long time or something? It looks like someone beat you." He was obviously saddened by this, and I laid him back in bed. I sat on the edge and told him to go to sleep, because he was obviously worn out. I told him what happened between Callighan and me, and he began to cry even harder. "Hey...Tyler, listen, you'll always be my friend, maybe more than that one day, but now, lets just remain friends. I mean, we both have a lot going for us, and we both miss each other. I just want things to go back to how they were. I want all of us to be friends again, and Callighan and I are not dating, so maybe you have a chance. I don't want to give up your friendship of five years to something this stupid." I began to cry really hard and hugged him on his bed. "Listen, Tyler, you will always be in my heart, you're my best friend and you've helped me through so much, having you mad at me was the most horrible thing ever, it hurt me a lot. Seeing you look at me with an empty look on your eyes was horribly saddening to me. No matter what I did, you wouldn't even look away. I love you Tyler, I do. But I just want to be friends for now." He looked at me, leaned up, and kissed my cheek. I turned my head slightly, and kissed him back on the lips, then tucked him into bed. "Stay." Tyler sounded as if he was pleading with me, not just asking, but pleading. Pleading to prove my friendship. Pleading to prove my love. Pleading to prove the past five years haven't been a sham. Pleading to show him that he was important to me. Pleading thousands of things at once. I pulled out my cell and called home. "Hey, Trent is mom still awake... Hey, mom? Would it be possible if I just slept at Tyler's tonight? I'll explain to you when I get home tomorrow. Yes, I'll be good. Yes Mom. Yes. Yes. Okay Mom. Goodnight." Tyler looked at me with a very happy yet sad look in his eyes, as his eyes were still wet from crying and he was still carrying out the process. I took off all but my boxers and lay next to him under his cover, and we embraced. After laying there for a while he leaned over and kissed me on the lips, and whispered his love. We both fell asleep nervous that night. Thinking unsure thoughts of the other one, thinking that somewhere deep in our mind and within our hearts that one of us would betray the other, and we didn't want that to happen. Maybe it was Callighan's entire fault. Everything was perfect until he moved here and messed everything up. But maybe it isn't his fault. Maybe it was mine for letting someone else take my heart and my love. Maybe it was my fault because I looked at Callighan more than I looked at Tyler. Maybe it was Tyler's fault because he backed out of the picture when he saw this new kid come to me. He is the one that decided to stay back from me when I started spending time with Callighan. He filled his heart so full of fear that tonight he almost killed himself. Because of my love. Could someone's love be that strong that if they are torn away from that person, they want to die? It poses many prophetic points throughout this. Maybe Callighan was a temptation away from Tyler, sure, but I still loved Tyler all the same. Nothing in the world could stop my love from being given out, and I cannot help that I'm a very friendly person who shows love to everyone. Callighan was just an enticement, he was funny, smart, witty, sarcastic, sweet, everything in a package. Tyler? He was my Tyler. He wasn't everything Callighan was, but he tried. He had been there so many times for me, and I guess that's where I got my respect for him. He helped me when I lost my father in that fatal car accident five years ago. He and I grew up a lot together in those months. We discovered in each of our hearts this love that just effervesced around us when we were together. Our hearts were the keys to each others minds and we opened up every detail of our life to each other. From our faults to our intelligence and qualities... our lives became one that summer. Everything was normal until Callighan Scooter McKenzie moved here to Texas and tore us both apart. He was also a key to my heart and mind, and that made me open up even more to everyone, but more so him than anyone else. I told him the things that I told Tyler and more. But I told Tyler half of these new things. While I was deep in thought and staring at Tyler's outline in the dark, I hard him whispering. "Callighan, oh Scooter, baby, that feels so good." What was this? Was Tyler in love with Callighan also? Was that the problem? I had something he wanted also, but he wanted both of us? This was one fucked up love triangle, and we had to figure out what was going on. Maybe someone else in the group knew what was going on just from watching this. I just know that I loved both of them and they both loved me. But what about this new link in the chain? Tyler liking Callighan also? Now I feel afraid, desolate, cheated, like I'm going to be torn up on the inside. Why was I letting this get to me? I can't believe that someone I love was going to cheat on me with their mind. I started to cry, because I realized how hypocritical I was being. I leaned over, bit Tyler's ear, and then tried to go to sleep, but all I could hear was him moaning Callighan, and then my name, he was really getting into this. "Oh, Callighan, you taste so yummy, and you too Law, oh god, I want to have both of you at the same time, that would feel so good, we could confess our love to each other." Obviously this dream involved all three of us. Maybe the only link in the chain was there; maybe Callighan liked Tyler too, but just hadn't said anything. Then I had the thought, it tore my heart apart to think that maybe in the month that Tyler and Callighan would not talk to me, that they were actually hanging out with each other. Maybe I was the one being cheated but I was too dense to realize that my loving both could have caused them to love each other. Maybe this was just me thinking odd thoughts about my life and the way that I do everything. I always thought that I had a weird sense, like I could feel something between people and at times; I knew exactly how people felt. Maybe this was what I felt with Callighan and Tyler. I think that I was hiding my thoughts from both of them. At the lunch table, I felt an emotion of friction, but also, a deep eroticism between them. But if they felt that way, then why didn't they talk after I screwed it up? They had a chance to fall in love, but didn't take it. They stayed apart from each other using this faux hatred for each other, but they both felt an emotion deeper than that. There is so much more to the story of our lives, and I wish I could tell them as I laid there in his bed that night. Callighan had a dark past, we all knew it, and nobody really knew why he moved here in the first place. He seemed to have it all. The body, the looks, the friends, the abilities. There seemed to be something behind the boy that none of us knew, maybe he would tell us one day, maybe he wanted to have a new life where old things don't haunt him. But, I wanted to know the answers to my unasked questions, such as "Why do you have a slight limp at times?" and "Why do you look like you want to cry some of the time...what happened in your old town?" With Callighan, I figured that the story was a lot darker and deeper than any of us could imagine, just from being with him that night. The passion was so heated, yet at the same time, it felt cold. His lips were fire on my skin, but yet, they were also a knife scraping my soul. He had a darker past, and I really wanted to find out what made his family move here, good or bad. Tyler also had thoughts he wasn't telling me. Was his suicide attempt really because of my love? Or because of something inside of him that he couldn't control. I only met him in fifth grade... what did he know about the death of his father? Tyler wasn't as dark as a figure to me as Callighan was. We shared so much, yet we kept secrets between each other. I, well, I couldn't explain all that I wanted to in the time before this. I was pretty much known at the school after little events took place on a drama trip. I was caught by a few fellow team mates giving a blowjob to one of the other team's best actors. Rumors spread like wildfire here, and the whole school knew after that. They knew that my favorite position was on my knees in front of any really cute guy, and they all savored that fact. Some of them tried to get me into their cars or to go to the bathroom in school with them, acting like nobody else knew, and they would tell everybody if I didn't suck them off. I gave in to a few of them, sucking them for all they were worth, mainly the football players. The assholes, I would lead them on, and then bite them. Taking away from their pleasure and taking the beating was the only way to get back at them for all the times they said anything to me. We all may have a dark past, but maybe we have a lighter future. ------------------------------- So, there was Chapter One. Any feedback, negative or positive can be sent via email or in an IM to laskofoley@yahoo.com . I'd love to hear what everyone thinks, and based on this, if I don't hear enough, or I hear enough bad, I'm going to not do this story, and get back to the character web on my fantasy story...and to writing my poetry. Please don't steal my words or ideas either.