Date: Sat, 7 Jun 2003 13:02:57 -0700 (PDT) From: Jackie Ray Chan Subject: Life_part 1 First of all, let me just say that this story is a product of my wicked imaginings. And none of them are actually real, but hey, I wish they were. This is my first time to write a gay story so, here goes! Oh, and this is not me, down here... :) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Life" Chapter 1 "Doubt" James Kevin Williams, that's me. Black hair, black eye color, 5'8", not exactly the hottest guy in class, but hey, I've got looks. I was just a your average joe back then. Nothing really seemed to bother me, and nothing really seemed to matter. You see growing up with a broken family that finally just disintegrated and only having your older cousin support you, is enough to numb you soul and emotions. You want to be tough, you have to be strong and you just wanna let go of your problems. Anyway, me and my cousin moved downtown after my whole family broke up. Dad broke up with mom because she was cheating on him, my older sister got pregnant and that really pissed my parents off, my little bro, 13 yrs old, was able to kill someone with a pocket knife, now he's spending time in the juvenile hall, and me, caught in the middle of this of this mixed up family. I guess I'm the only one who's normal in this fucked-up family. Well, as I was saying, my cousin's a real pal. He's a real cool dude, spiky brunette hair and icy cool eyes. Did I mention he works out? That's why all the girls seem to flock all over him. But he doesn't have a girlfriend though. He's concerned about his work, and me, of course. :) Oh yeah, his name's Raymond. We pretty much got settled in, in a cozy apartment. I was in my Junior year in high-school and my cousin is a co-manager of a club and to think he's only 21. We we're doing pretty good with our lives. I was a passing student and I was happy with that, at least I didn't fail. But there was this one different day that just shook my world. "Hey Raymond! Hurry up! I'll be late for class!" I called from inside his car. "I'm coming!" he replied as he briskfully walked down the stairs. "What kept you?" I asked sounding a bit annoyed. "You left this in your room..." Raymond replied with a snicker as he handed me my project. "Oh... right..." I mumbled apologetically. "You always forget things!" Raymond scolded playfully shuffling my hair. "I do not! Just sometimes..." "whatever..." It was a quiet drive towards school. Raymond wasn't in a talking mood because he had this big meeting with the other club managers and I, was well... never the talking sort. Well, when we reached the school parking lot, Raymond reminded me that he was going to be home late, so he told me not to stay up. I nodded and went inside. I went straight up to my locker to get a few things before going to my first class. "Hi Kevin!" came a sickeningly sweet voice I'd recognize in the deepest trenches of hell. Sally Devon, the highschool cheerleading slut. She obviously had a crush on me, which she shouldn't coz she has a boyfriend. And he happens to be very mean and inconsiderate, not to mention dastardly and rebelious. "What is it this time?" I replied sharply, closing my locker door. "Aww... bad mood?" She asked with that diabetic tone of hers. "If you must know, yeah! I am in a bad mood, so will please get out of my way!" I stormed, firmly pushing her aside. "But Kevin..." she stuttered. But I didn't listen, I didn't care what she had to say. First period went along pretty well, so did the rest of the other periods. Soon my favorite period came, the period before lunch break. I didn't care how boring it was, as long as it was near relief from school work. I just sat there leaning on my desk, pretending to listen to Mr. Guarin's boring lesson. Finally, the bell rang and I was just so happy that happend. I raced down the hall to the lockers and returned a few things before going into the canteen. Suddenly, there was a tap on my back. I turned aroung blankly and saw a fairly decent looking young man, about my age. He had brown hair and dark eyes. He looked as though he was doing plenty of exercise and he had a pretty handsome yet humble smile, If I do say so myself... "I think you left this..." he said with a smile "Th... thanks..." I stuttered "Don't mention it!" he said ever so friendly like I looked at him with a questioning look on my face and he said, "Oh! I didn't introduce myself, I'm Charlie," having said so, extended his arm for a handshake. I shook his hand and started, "I'm..." But before I could finish he said, "Kevin! Yeah I know, we're in the same period with Mr. History Psycho back there." "How come I never saw you before?" "Oh... I usually sit at the back" "Oh... ok..." "Uhm..." he sort of started, "you wouldn't happen to be doing anything later tonight, would you?" "can't say I do..." "Great! So could you kinda like, uhm... come over to my place, my parent's aren't exactly gonna be home early." "Sure, that'd be great!" I said cheerfully, but then, "I mean, I can't... I have to watch the house, my cousin's gonna be working late and there's nobody there to watch the house." I said apologetically. "Oh that's ok..." he said sounding a bit disappointed. "But hey! Maybe next time." I tried to cheer him up. "Sure, maybe next time..." he smiled again and I smiled back as he started to walk towards the canteen. "Oh, hey Charlie!" I called him back "Yeah?" "You know what? Call me crazy but, if I was a girl, I'd get an impression that you were asking me out on a date back there, I don't know, guess I'm just a plain lunatic huh?" I tried to joke. He chuckled at it, but didn't exactly laugh. "Oh well, gotta go! Bye Charlie!" "Yeah! Bye..." he replied solemnly. I couldn't describe it, but somehow, there was something in him that made me want to befriend him, even though I was a total loner all my life. ------------------ Lunchtime passed by and everything was normal. Students were chit chatting about petty issues, teachers were gossiping about certain students, and some people just sat there and kept quiet, like me. Well, after I finished lunch, I went out of the canteen and into the library for some extra study for the test I was going to have later that afternoon. "God, physics is a real killer!" I said, flipping through the pages of my physics book. I had been through the library many times, so basically it was instinct for me to walk in without looking. Well, I got a very unexpected surprise when I got in. "Oof!" I gasped when I bumped into someone when I entered, "Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't... looking..." I stammered when I saw who it was. "Oh it's ok." Charlie said with a smile. "Charlie! What are you doing here?" I asked. "I was going to study for a physics test, our physics test!" Charlie exclaimed, making us realize that we nearly had the same schedule, "but then" he continued, "I forgot to get my physics book and we only have a few minutes before the bell rings, so I thought if I dashed to get it, I could have time to study," "You don't have to do that," I smiled, "We can share mine!" I said raising my book. "Really? Gee... thanks!" he said. We walked towards a nearby table, and as we walked he put his arm around my shoulder, I didn't exactly know how to feel, but it felt real good. We sat down and started discussing the topic about the relation of molecular volume to the something of something. After a while, the bell rung and both of us just dashed out of there and went to the physics room. The test was fairly easy, thanks to Charlie's help on some topics I didn't quite understand. Soon the test was over and in came the over boring subjects. Luckily there were only two left for that day, so I decided to just be patient a while longer. Finally, my day of school was over. I got my things, returned them to my locker and headed out of school. "Where are you going, Kevy?" came an irrate deep voice that could only have come from Sally's jock boyfriend, Ryan. He had very muscular build, orange-red hair, brown eyes, and an attitude problem. "What do you want from me, Ryan?" "Oh nothing, I just want you to know..." He started walking towards me. Suddenly, he took me by my shirt and slammed me against the lockers, "I just want you to know that Sally's mine, Ok?" "You can keep her!" I shot back. "Good! Nice talking to you!" he snorted, letting me go. Then he just walked away from me. "Jerk!" I whispered to myself. I was so frustrated that I stormed towards the door. I was striding face down, consumed in my rage. I pushed the door open and suddenly found myself bumping into somebody again. I was walking so fast and he was standing so firm, that I just bounced of him and I really though I was going to fall. But then I realized that I didn't. I opened my eyes and saw Charlie holding me by the arms. He was smiling again, with that sweet humble smile he had. "You know you ought to be more careful..." he said setting me down. "Thanks..." I replied "Think nothing of it," he smiled again, "Funny how we keep on meeting like this..." "Yeah..." I answered. We were facing each other. Our faces were almost touching. I felt my heart beat a hundred times faster and my cheeks grew a hundred times hotter. I thought I was going to pass out. "I... I have to go!" I exclaimed apologetically, gently brushing his shoulder on my way "yeah! See you tomorrow!" He shouted when I got a little bit farther off. "What's happening to me?" I thought to myself, "I've never felt anything like this before, especially not to another guy!" "Oh god..." I stopped in my tracks, I looked up to the sky for some answers and just whispered to myself, "Am I gay...?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- OK, that sucked! Sorry, if I really did a bad job at it, I'll stop. Just send me your comments > jackiebluemaryfan@yahoo.com I don't mind if criticize me or anything, I just hope to hear comments. Oh, by the way, there isn't much sex here, it's more on my impression of gay life [I've never experienced any of what I just said, primarily because I'm not out yet, and I don't think society would appreciate if I was out...] So thanks again for reading, hope you send me your comments.