The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality.

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Life's Journey

Chapter 4


"David, David, DAVID, please David, ohhh god let him be ok, let him be alive. Oh David, I can't live without you, you have to come back to me. David, come back, please don't leave me."

"Sean, Sean wake up."

"David, please don't go. I need you, I love you."


"W, What?"

"You were having a bad dream. David is ok, remember he went home today." My father was standing over me. He had a very strange look on his face. He looked scared.

"Huh? Oh! Ok Dad, thanks. I was having a bad dream." I was finally awake enough to be a little coherent.

"Son, I think we need to talk. I have been hearing some terrible rumors going around town about you and David. Now, you know that I don't take rumors seriously, that is why I always go to the object of the rumor and ask them face to face. David, not only am I your father, I am your religious mentor, your confessor. Have you heard any of these rumors?"

You see, my father and I were very close. He was and is a very gentle man. A real fatherly minister. I could see that he was really hurt by the rumors that he had heard.

"Dad, can I ask you some questions before I answer that?" I asked.

"Yes, son you may."

"Well, it is about love."

"Ok, go on."

"Well the Bible tells us to love every one right?"

"Yes it does."

"Ok, so if I love someone, how do I tell them that I love them besides saying it?"

"The best is to be honest and direct."

"Do you think I should always be honest and direct?" I asked.

"Yes son, I do. Just use a little diplomacy once in a while. Know when and where to say the things that you need to tell the other person."

"Dad, I think this is the time and the place. Dad, I am gay. I love David. I have loved him for over two years now. I have loved him from a distance up until his birthday, when we found out that we both felt the same about each other." I blurted out.

My father just sat there, the look that he had was one of terror and disbelief.

"Dad, please don't hate me. I know the bible says that it is wrong to love another man like I love David. But Dad, I have been fighting this for a long time now. I have been battling my attraction to other boys. I WILL NOT DENY WHO I AM ANY LONGER." I said a little louder than was necessary.

My father stood up, not saying a word and walked out of my room. Shit, I had done it. I had told my father that I was gay. Oh, shit. What am I going to do? What is going to happen to David and I? I have to call David, I need to talk to him. I need him. Oh God! Please! I know that you couldn't possibly hate anyone that loves like I do. Please! God, help me. Please God, help David.

I struggled over to the phone. What the hell is David's new computer line number, maybe I can call it and not bother his parents. They have probably already heard about us and they might not let me talk to him. What the hell is the number...........

Yes, yes, that's it. Shit, busy. Maybe he is online. Computer, where is that damn lap top. Damn, all the way on the other side of the room. Ok, ok, easy does it. One leg over.....ok now the bad one. Ok now stand up. Whoa shit........Ok, I can just crawl over and get it. I wasn't sure how I was going to get back with the computer anyway.

Come on you slow piece of junk. Ok, let's hook up the phone line. Still waiting for the damn thing to boot up. I'll try calling again to make sure that David is still on-line. Busy, ok he's still on.

Finally, dialer.....come on.....sure would be neat if there was a way that you could just click and instantly you were online. Connecting.........shit this was taking forever. I never complained before, but it was never this urgent before. Ok, which chat room could he be on. I'll try this one.

Users; SeanS SeaNnDaviD

David, are you there?



David, I love you.

I love you too Sean!!!!!

I told my father about us.

Oh, SHIT, what did he do?

Nothing, he just walked out of my room.

Wow, that is intense......

David, I need to talk to you. Can you get off line so I can call you?


Sure, call in 5 min....


Ssssssmmmmmmmoooooocccchhh Sean.

Ok, log off. Turn off the, leave it on for now. I might want to go back online after I talk with David. I need to talk to someone else about all of this. Hopefully some of the gang will be in the chat room later. How long has it been.....shit, only 2 minutes. I think I will write some of this down. Some people in one of the chat rooms told us that it would be good to write stuff down. It helps sort things out when you do. Ok, start the word processor. What do I need to get out of my head right now......oh yeah. My dream about David and about telling my father............


Shit, scared me.


Damn, phone. I was concentrating on writing this down.


Ok, damn it....


To be continued......

Copyright S. John Holder 2000

If you have enjoyed reading this story, you will find other stories by me at John's Lovescape

Email your comments to John