Losing To Win VI
"Calling on the Big Bro"
By Joey E

Hello, again. I hope you're not too pissed off at me for making you wait this long for another chapter of Losing To Win. Well, it's finally here. You are about to read the sixth installment of "Losing To Win", a gay fiction series about high school boys learning about life and love. If this isn't your bag of weed, then leave. If you are under 18 (or 21 in some areas), then leave too. This series is copyrighted in 2003. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication in any form is strictly prohibited without the consent fo the author.

Special thanks goes out to John, Jack, and Ryan for getting on my ass to write more to this story. Also, thanks to all those who have responded. I do my best to respond to all e-mails sent. Thanks again.

But all was not finished. I had still yet to get off. His eyes widened as he noticed my hand was rubbing my cock through my pants.

"Come on, let's go to my room. I want you to strip for me," he said, suddenly gaining strength.

"Huh?" I asked as I allowed myself to be pulled up by him. I followed him up to his bedroom. He closed the door behind me and walked over to his bed.

"Dude, strip for me, will you?" he asked.

"Are you serious?" I asked, still not believing.

"I want to see you without your clothes on. Hell, I want to see you beat off, dude," he said, without shame.

Never passing up a moment to show off my body, I needed no more words of encouragement. I peeled off my t-shirt and smiled down at him. If he wanted a show, then he was going to get one. I looked down at my muscular arms. I flexed my biceps, slowly touching them on my right arm. I looked down at him and grinned.

"You like that?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, man," he said.

I chuckled and felt myself from my arm to my pecs. Working out really paid off. I began shaving my chest a few months ago, since I liked the smooth look better. I flexed my pecs for him and he practically drooled.

I continued to take off my pants, slowly and seductively. I unbuttoned the pants and unzipped the fly. My cock could be seen, hard as a rock. I slowly pulled them down, and my cock, finally free, stuck out in my jock. He was loving this, and strange enough, so was I. I let the pants fall to my feet and I grabbed my cock and started rubbing it. A drip of precum was visible through my white jock. I was totally turned on by myself.

"Damn," he whispered.

I turned around so he could see my cute ass. Sure enough, it wasn't long before I felt his warm hand on one of my ass cheeks. He began caressing it. At the same time it was weird, it felt erotic and hot. I pulled down my jock, letting all my seven inches out. I immediately started stroking it. I turned around to face Josh again and he just watched as I began working on my cock. My right hand drifted up to my nipple as I stroked with my left hand. God, I was so turned on right now. I let out a small moan.

"Yeah, Steve, that's fuckin' hot!"

Still naked, I could see Josh was erect again. He grabbed his cock and started stroking it as well. I had to have him. God he looked so hot. I sat down on the bed and took my sneakers off. The pants came off too. I looked over at him, looking so hot and innocent, stroking his dick. His smooth body was a sight. I moved over and climbed on top of him. He looked up at me and grinned. I grinned back down at him. He wrapped his arms around me, drawing me into him, and we kissed. Our bodies were rubbing up against each other, while our tongues were fighting. I felt his hard cock on my stomach. I wanted to touch every part of his body. I started to lick his earlobe, moving down to his neck, and down to his chest. It was a new experience not having two mounds to play with, but it was as hot as ever. I brushed his nipple over with my tongue and he shuttered.

I was loving this. I loved the way his smooth, fair body looked. I liked the way it smelled, fresh and clean. I got bold and started licking over to his pit. I was curious. I could smell him, nothing too offensive, just all boy smell. It was hot. I licked his pit. I licked back down his stomach to his cock.

"Dude, turn around," he said.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Suck me while I suck you?" he asked.

A lightbulb went on in my head. "Oh, okay!" I exclaimed. I turned around and not a second later, I felt his warm mouth on my cock. I let out a gasp and then went straight for his dick that I had just sucked before. His mouth felt so good, sucking away.

"Yo," he suddenly said. "Watch the teeth!"

"Oops," I said. "Sorry."

"Just try to use your tongue to cover the bottom teeth," he said.

I did exactly that.

"Yeah, that's better," he said, before he went back to sucking on my cock.

There we were, laying side by side. I grabbed on to his ass to help bring his dick closer to me. I then felt him lick down my shaft and down to my balls. I moaned. I did the same to his and he moaned as well. We then went back to sucking each other off. I felt like I was going to explode.

"Dude, I'm gonna cum," I said.

He got off my cock. "Come back up here," he said.

I moved up along side of him. I wrapped my arm around his body and he rested his head on my chest. We were both stroking our dicks, watch each other work our own cocks. He looked so intense and hot, stroking his. He moved his leg over mine and we kissed once more. That was all I needed.

"Josh, I'm gonna shoot, man," I cried out. "Aw, man, I'm gonna cum...."

"Me too, man!"

I fired a shot that landed right on my cheek. My whole body went into a tremor. I couldn't control anything. I watched as sperm erupted from my cock, spraying me and Josh.

Suddenly, Josh started moaning loudly, and he fired out his second load in less than an hour with such force that it landed on my face.

"Oh yeah, dude," I said, watching him shoot his load.

After it was all over, we just laid there on his bed, wiped out completely. I looked at him and smiled.

"Feel good?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, Josh. Felt fuckin' awesome!"

"Let go, I gotta get something to wipe this shit off me," he said, getting up. He grabbed a towel and threw it at me.

"Use this, man," he said. He grabbed an old t-shirt and cleaned himself up as I wiped his load and my load off my body and face.

He crawled back into his bed with me. I willingly wrapped my arms around him and we cuddled. We laid there for a while until I noticed what time it was.

"Shit, isn't your mom going to be home soon?" I asked.

He looked up over too and said, "Shit, yeah, man. Get up!"

We both got up and he ran downstairs to get his clothes. I searched the room frantically for mine. He came back up with his clothes in his hand.

"Dude, I can't find my t-shirt," I said laughing, looking under the bed.

"Oh shit," he said, laughing as well. "I uh think I used it as my cum rag," he said, holding up my shirt with his cum on it.

All I could do was laugh. "Fuck, man, now what am I gonna wear?"

"Well, I'd lend you a shirt, but I don't think you'd fit into any," he said, putting on his pants, laughing. "I'm really sorry, Steve."

"Actually, wait," he said, walking over to his closet. After rummaging, he tossed a black t-shirt to me. "Here, this one's too big for me. It might be a bit small on you, but at least it's something.

"Thanks," I said, trying it on. It was indeed very tight, but it worked. I put on my pants and sneakers as well.

"Well," he said, sitting down on the bed next to me. "Where does this leave us?"

"Don't know, bud," I said, softly.

"I don't even know what to expect from you, Steve. I don't think it's possible for you to let me down, because I'm expecting nothing from you. But, I do like you, man. Always have."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What if I am gay? I mean, how did you know you were?"

He paused as if he was thinking very carefully about what he was going to say. "I don't know, Steve. I just always knew it, deep inside. I knew I liked looking at boys ever since I could remember."

"You see, that's my problem. I didn't really noticed I was checking out guys until you walked in. I just assumed it was normal. I didn't talk to anyone about it, but I think I always did, even if at a subconscious level. I mean, I think I've been watching you since you first walked into this school, but I didn't know it. Or I didn't want to know it."

"You're fucked up," he said, smiling at me. "You don't want to be gay, do you?"

"No, I am afraid I don't," I said softly.

"Well, I understand. Why did you think I came to this school?"

"Huh?" I asked, completely at a loss.

"Steve, there was a time when my parents were married. We all lived in a town in Connecticut. I fell head over heels for this guy while I was ninth grade. We became good friends in time. We fooled around almost everyday. But then, his father caught us once. Soon, and we don't know how, word got around that we were gay. My dad went crazy," he said.

I could see the pain in his eyes. I held him as he continued the story. "It's all right, bud. Tell me."

He sniffed and continued. "He started beating me. He wanted nothing to do with me. My mom, on the other hand, rescued me. She tried to reason it out with my dad, but it didn't work. Soon after, they split up and my mom and I moved down here so I could start a new life. You are the first guy that I was with since then. Oh, I know the kids at school think I'm weird if not gay, but I never told anyone or did anything to prove them right."

"Bro, I'm so sorry to hear that," I said, hugging him.

"I don't want to be this way anymore than you do. But it's the way I am. I refuse to try to be something I'm not, though. And you should too."

"But, dude, I have so much more at stake. I mean, a few years back, a guy on the team came out. He was not accepted at all."

"Yeah, I see what you mean."

"And I hate to say this," I said, "but if I'm gonna be seen with you regularly, it will come up."

"I know," he said, softly.

"I just don't know what the hell to do."

We sat in silence for a while.

"Listen," I said. "I gotta get going. I've got to do my homework, but can I call you later tonight?"

"Sure," he said, getting up.

"Dude, I'm not going to promise you anything," I said, also getting up.

"I know," he said.

"I'm just so confused," I said.

"I know," he said.

"Why is it that whenever I'm with you alone, I feel fine. But when I leave you and walk back into the real world, it's all fucked up?"

"Because it's the real world," he replied.

"Dude, what are you a philosopher too?" I joked.

He laughed. "Just get the hell out of here before I attack you again!"

We both stood in the hallway and kissed once more.

On the way back to my house, I wondered what the hell was I going to do? My first instinct was to call up my older brother. He was away at college, and I missed him so much at times. He was my hero, to be brief. We were always doing stuff together when I wasn't with my friends and he wasn't with his. He was three years older than I was, but I thought he was the king. Whenever I had a REAL problem, I knew I could always count on him. It was he who taught me about the wonderful world of jacking off. I got home and found my parents had already gone out for the evening. There was a note on the island in the kitchen that read "Steve, thanks for leaving a note. We're out at the Wilson's."

I picked up the phone and dialed my bro's phone number. Surprisingly, he answered.

"Hey, Matt! What's going on?"

"Yo, little bro! How's it going?"

"I was wondering what you're up to tonight?" I asked.

"Nothing why?"

"I was hoping I could drive up there and see you."

"When? Tonight?" he asked.

"Sure, why not?"

He laughed. "You're fuckin' an hour away bro!"

"I know, but I'd like to talk to you in-person, if you're free?" I asked, hoping he was.

"Why? What's the matter, little bro? What did you do this time? Is Jill pregnant?"

I laughed. If only you really knew, I thought to myself. "Nah, nothing like that."

"Well, then what? You crack up mom's car again?"

"Nah, if it were only that simple," I started to say.

"Shit, bro. Yeah, that's fine. Come on up. My roommate's out of town, so you can come up here and hang out."

"Thanks. I'll be there in an hour."

As I went through what I should be doing in my mind, I decided that Literature could wait. I wouldn't be able to concentrate on it anyway. This really could tear a guy apart, and I was sure as hell determined that it wasn't going to get me.

While driving up to my bro's college, I thought about how I was going to tell him. My bro was as confident as I was and, as far as I knew, was a straight as they come. But just a few weeks ago, I had thought I was straight too. It made no sense! I knew my bro would be cool with it, since he had some gay friends. At the same time I felt uncomfortable doing this, I knew I could count on my big bro to help me through. He was always that way, helping whoever needed it. That's where I get my character from. My hero.

I made it in excellent time and was there in 45 minutes. I went up to his apartment and knocked on his door. My pulse was racing and I felt at any moment I was going to bolt out of there and head back home. I just needed to talk to someone away from it all.

The door opened up, and there was my stud brother, looking as good as ever. I forgotten how good he looked. It was almost creepy. Fuck, I was noticing how hot my bro was. What was wrong here?

"Steve!" he said, extending his arms out to me for a hug. I moved in and hugged him and we went upstairs.

"So, what is the reason for this night visit, little bro?" he asked. "You want a beer?"

"Uh, sure, man," I said, sitting down on his couch in the living room. It was a typical college apartment. My bro lived with his roommate here for two years now. Posters on the wall, junk everywhere, it was your typical college apartment.

He brought in two bottles of Molson Ice and sat down next to me. He handed one to me.

"Thanks," I said. I took a swig of beer.

"So, Steve, what brings you up this way? I'm still wondering what you did to Mom's car? I'll never forget that time you called me at three in the morning to come get you this past summer," he said laughing.

I had to laugh right along with him.

"You sounded so worried. You said, Matt! I cracked up Mom's car, by racing it."

"Aw, shut up," I said, laughing. I took another mouthful of beer.

"How you talked your way out of that one, I'll never know. You always had it easier than I did," he said.

I had to agree with him on that one. My older bro was a wild kid and by the time I came around, I think my parents just gave up.

"So, buddy," he said, putting his arm around my shoulder, "what's on your mind? Trouble with the woman?"

Well, that would be a good way of starting the conversation. "Sort of," I said, looking down at my beer bottle.

"Well, what's bothering you?"

"Dude, have you ever fallen for someone you know you shouldn't?"

"Sure, lots of times. Especially that chick next door. Ugh, she looked good last year and she was only fifteen!"

My bro was never a serious talker. I do get my humor from him.

"Nah, dude, I mean, did you ever see a guy that turned you on?"

"WOAH!" he exclaimed, slapping me on the shoulder.

I just looked up at him.

"Are you serious?"

I shook my head yes.

He drank more beer before he responded. "Uh, I cannot say that I honestly have. Have you?"

I shook my head yes again.

"Shit," he whispered.

"Yeah, I know," I said, softly. "I hate it! I just want to forget it and say it never happened. But it did happen and I enjoyed it way too much for it to be just a one-time thing."

"Woah," was all he could say. "Uh, tell me what happened, bro."

I took my time and started from the beginning about the need to be tutored. The unexplainable attraction I had for this guy, the fooling around that took place, the fight Jill and I had, and the general confusion that this whole thing put in my mind.

"Uh, damn, bro," he said, softly.

"Matt, I'm happy with what I am now. I don't want anything to change that. And yet, when I see him, I melt inside."

"What's this dude's name?" he asked.

"Josh."

"Well, is he good lookin'?" he asked.

"What kind of questions is that?"

"Is he a good lookin' guy?" he asked again.

"I don't know, bro. I guess he is. He's short and skinny. He has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen...and he can suck..."

'All right, all right, all right. I get the picture," he interrupted.

"Yeah, sorry. Anyway, everything about him, man just drives me crazy. I can't get him out of my head. I hear his voice and it relaxes me. I look at him and he turns me on. I can't wait to see him."

"Listen to yourself, bro. You sound like you did two years ago when you were telling me about ..."

"Jill. Yeah, I know. But it's a different kind of feeling in a way. It feels like I need to be with him all the time. I feel like I'm safe when I'm with him. I want to be with him more than anything else. But something inside me tells me I can't. I just want to be normal!"

"Shit," he muttered under his breath. "So you're telling me you like guys?"

"I don't know, dude. I like this guy. I have never felt anything like this about a girl or a guy before. And what's more scary, I find myself checking out guys more and more too. Like when you came to the door this evening, I thought, damn, my bro is one fuckin' hot stud!"

I looked down and noticed I finished my bottle of beer. My bro looked at me as if I were crazy.

"Dude, are you buzzed already?"

I nodded my head yes. I just told my bro that I thought he was hot. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Steve, I know we never talk about this, but do you remember when I taught you about beating off?"

"Yeah, I thought it was so cool and hot...."

I stopped myself before I could say another word.

"I am surprised about what you said to me tonight. But at the same time, for some unexplainable reason, I always noticed you looked and were interested in other guys. At that time, I just chalked it up to curiosity. Hell, we're all curious back then. But even so, you seemed to like it more and more and not just because it was a way to get off. That's why I stopped it. I never told you that before, but it just seemed like you were into it way too much, bro. I didn't want to know if my bro liked dick or not."

I was stunned. I couldn't think of anything to say.

"Stevie, I love you, man. It's all right if you like dick. Wouldn't change the way I feel about you."

I was relieved but tense at the same time. "Matt, I don't know what I want."

"It seems to me that you're fighting with yourself. You just need to accept whatever you are yourself. Once you do that, then you'll know what to do. What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid of being called gay. I'm afraid of what my friends will do. I am afraid of what I am. I don't want to be gay, man. I want to be fuckin' normal," I exclaimed.

"I understand that, man. I can tell you one thing that I'm sure of, though," he said.

"What's that?" I asked.

"I'll be behind you whatever you are. I'll even fight for you, you know that. I'm always behind you."

His words were soothing. I started to cry. "It's not fair, man," I said. "It's just not fair."

"Dude, life's not fair. But you make the most of what you got. You may not know it, but you are so lucky in one aspect."

"What's that?"

"According to what you just told me, you've got someone who's crazy about you and you're crazy about him. Do you realize how special that can be?"

I stopped and thought about what he said. "It's not enough, bro. It's not enough to make me want to abandon everything I worked hard to be. It's not enough for me to risk everything."

He put his arm around me again. I moved in closer to him. Strangely, I felt semi-aroused to be this way with my older brother again. He felt real and familiar. Comforting and relaxing. I closed my eyes and just let him hold me. Even a big, strong guy needs a hug sometimes.

"When you're ready, you'll know. I know you so fuckin' well, bro. And if he is as good as you say he is, you'd be a fool to let him pass. I know it'll be hard. I watched my friend go through it here at college. It ain't easy. The ones who matter will stand by you until the very end. The ones that don't, well, they don't matter."

His deep voice resonated through out his body. I could feel his whole body vibrate when he talked, and it was just how we always were. Best buds.

"So, you really think he's a good thing?"

"The way you describe him, yeah. I have to admit, I don't know much about this shit, but anyone would know that you are practically in love with him."

"Shit," I muttered. "The idea of me being in love with a guy is unbelievable."

"I know, bro, I know. But take it for what it is. I'm sure you know what my philosophy on life is."

"Sure. Live how you want to live and fuck everyone else!"

"And although this is different, it's really not any different. Live how the fuck you want to live. What you do in your bedroom is nobody's business."

"What do I do about Jill though if I do chose to go through with it. I am going to lose everything to win just one thing. It doesn't make any sense to me."

"Stevie, I'm telling you this because I know. That one thing that you're going to win though can make up for everything else that you lose. Do you understand?"

"No, but I will try to. It's just too much. When I'm with him, I feel like the rest of the world doesn't exist. I can just be myself. I can be honest with myself and not have to worry about what other people think. It's just too fuckin' much for me."

"Take one thing at a time, bro. It'll all make sense in the end. Hey, I should set you up with Jeff, my gay friend. He'd be able to help you through this, I'm sure."

"Dude, I don't need to be set up with a guy," I said.

"I'm not saying to fuckin' get your freak on with him, man. I'm just saying maybe it would help if you talked to someone who's already been through it."

He did have a point. What could I lose?"

"Can you call him now?"

My bro laughed. "Don't you need to head back home? I'll tell you what? I'll try to see if he's free this weekend, all right? Maybe we can take a trip down to mom and dad's and you two can hang out."

"Okay, man. That sounds doable. I do have to admit, telling you all this shit, felt good."

"Steve, anytime you need me, I'm here. You know that. I really wish I could tell you what to do. But I can't. That's your decision, bro," he said.

We basically bullshitted for the next half hour while my buzz wore off.

"Little bro, you're gonna be okay, man. I know you will. I'm glad you could come to me with this. Makes me feel good, bro," he said.

I looked at him and smiled. We stood up and hugged.

"Thanks," I whispered.

That wraps up this chapter of "Losing To Win". I hope you enjoyed it. More will come soon, I promise. In the meantime, please send all comments to NEPhillyBoy76@aol.com Thanks again!