Lost Angels: Chapter 4
The faint sound of beeping echoed in my head and seemed to get louder everytime. Beep...beep...beep. Slowly, I opened my heavy eyelids and found myself in a small white room, noticing it was dark outside. Night...I felt so tired and wanted to just fall asleep, but wanted to examine my surroundings. A hospital. I slowly turned my head next to me, and saw a sleeping figure in a chair. Jessie! I wanted to run over to him and give him a hug, but I was in too much of a weak position. I stirred a bit, and saw Jessie awake from his light slumber. His eyes opened wide when he noticed me looking at him, and he quicly rushed over to me and hugged me. The hug I wanted to give him. It'll take a bit of getting used to, having someone so excited to see you.
"Oh God!" he whispered loudly as he kissed me on the forehead. I closed my eyes, and just let him ravage me with his soft kisses. "I thought I lost you!" He kept on kissing me on the cheek, then on the forehead again. "You scared me so much..." Oh, it felt so good to see him, it really did. "You...you just wait here...I'll get a doctor ok? I'll be right back!" he smiled and popped out of my room before returning with a doctor a couple seconds later.
"Ah Michael. Good to see you awake...and recovering," said a doctor who I presumed was in his mid 50's. He wore glasses, and had grey hair. He checked the drip I was connected to, checked my pupils before taking a few notes on a clipboard and hanging it on the end of my bed. "Well, you've sustained quite an injury...but you seem to be doing alright. You just need rest now son. Is there anything you need?"
"Some water please..." I managed to speak for the first time in a cracked whisper. It felt as if I hadn't spoken for weeks.
"Sure thing," and he left the room.
Jessie pulled a chair up next to my bed and held my hand in his. "How do you feel?" he smiled.
"I think getting a knife wound would cause me quite an extreme amount of pain..."
"Yeah...it'll do that..."
"Well...I just feel tired. Pain killers?"
"Yeah..." he smiled. He slowly held my hand up to his face and closed his eyes, almost as if taking me in somehow. "I really thought I lost you Michael...I was next to you...and I felt you slipping away," I saw a stray tear fall from his cheek, and I wiped it away. He looked me in the eye sadly, "I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you. This is all so new to me...and it's gotten to the point where it scares me..."
"What does? I scare you?" I asked. I was afraid of Jessie not wanting me, the very thought of it made me tremble. I was too dependent on him to lose him now.
"No! No...you could never scare me, love scares me. I just wouldn't...couldn't live without you," he corrected himself.
"I think I know what you mean," I replied and held his hands in mine. Just touching him was satisfying enough, he became like an extension of my own being. Words weren't needed at that moment, as we sat there silently taking each other in. Just looking into each other's eyes. "Jessie...I love you. I love you so much, and I say these words...yet they're not enough to show how I really feel about you. The feeling inside is so strong...promise me we're for real. Nothing will ever come between us right?"
He smiled that sweet boyish smile of his before replying, "I promise you Michael Slade, that I'll love you forever and ever...just like in a fairytale. I won't let anything happen to you that'll take you away from me." We entwined our fingers with each other and blissfully stared at each other when suddenly someone walked into the room. It was a nurse.
"Ok...visiting hours are over. He'll need his rest now," she told Jessie cheerfully.
"Could I just have a minute?" he asked. The nurse looked and saw us holding hands with each other. She looked shocked at first, but then smiled and said, "Sure."
"You gonna be ok?" I nodded. "Ok...I'll be here first thing tomorrow morning to see how you are. I'm gonna miss you!" he said, and kissed me softly on the lips.
"I love you..."
"I love you too...bye!" he blew me a kiss and went out the door. The nurse came back in afterwards with a glass of water and a pill for me to take. She told me that it would help me get to sleep, cus rest is exactly what I needed. I thanked her, and as she started to walk out the door she stopped and asked, "Is that boy your...brother?" She sounded a little unsure of herself. "Ummm...no...he's not," I replied, not knowing what to say really. She smiled at me again, and left the room. The pill did it's work, cus the next thing I know it was morning.
I opened my eyes and found the morning sunlight shining into my room, and I studied my surroundings. I sat up with a lot of trouble, knowing that the pain killers had worn off now. The pain was excrutiating, and the feeling made me sick to the stomach. I pressed the button above the bed using my right arm. If I used my left, it would have made me scream in pain. A nurse came in to see what the problem was, and I explained to her that I was in a lot of pain. She nodded and sent a doctor in. The same doctor from last night examined my pupils, and took a look at my wound which had been stitched up. I didn't dare look...I was too afraid of what I would see. Better to leave the healing process to attend to itself, I say.
"You know Michael...it never ceases to amaze me how fast children heal. Just to let you know now...the stitches we put in will dissolve themself in about a week or so. So you won't need to come back here to have them taken out. And in about a weeks time, your cut will have healed to a stage where you won't need the stitches anymore. Nurse, could you get some pain killers?" he told the nurse. She went to get them and came back with a glass of water as well. I took the pill, and immediately felt them taking action.
"Ok...thanks. Oh...have you heard anything from my dad?" I asked hopefully.
"Umm...no, not yet. But I'll have someone call him ok?" he smiled.
I nodded my head, doubtful of the fact that my dad would come and visit me. He hated me anyway, if he knew about this he'd probablly be happy about it. Why would he start caring now? About ten minutes later, the same nurse from last night informed me that my dad was at work and told me that he was very busy. But that he was worried sick about me. This was the first time I had heard any of dad's stories about caring about me. I mean...if he cared so much, why wasn't he here? I halfed whispered a, "Thanks," and hung my head down knowing that he didn't give a shit about me. I was stabbed...and he couldn't care less. I thought the nurse had left, when I heard her walking toward my bed.
"You ok?" she asked sweetly.
I nodded my head, and wiped away a stray tear. "Is there anything I can do for you?" she asked again, offering any kind of assistance.
"Not if you can turn back time..." I said softly, staring at the pale yellow blanket that was placed over me.
"I know what would cheer you up..." and she got up and patted my head.
The gang had arrived! All of them! The all ran in and while the girls gave me hugs, the guys shook my hand and asked me how I was. There were flowers, chocolates, and even a few balloons. My room was previously empty, and was now filled with beautiful decorations and friendship.
"Dude! You scared us back there!" said Andy.
"Good to see you alright!" said Terence.
"I'm a survivor," I smiled at them. Those three words had been in my head ever since I watched Titanic. Leonardo DiCaprio said them and with my life, I had incorporated those words to suite me. But there was something else about those words, they were more powerful than the way they sounded. It actually meant something. 'I'm a survivor,' I thought to myself. Yes! That's what I really am.
"You are a survivor Mike. Have I told you this morning that I love you?"
"No...not yet," I replied. He was about to say those three magical words when I shouted, "I love you!" before he could get to it first. He smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. The boys were going, "Aww dude! Don't do that!" The girls went, "Aww...that's so sweet!" They had taken the morning off school to come visit me. I must've thanked them a million times for this sweet geture, but they insisted it was this, or school. We all laughed and joked around. It was amazing to have all this attention, to know that someone actually cared. Friendship is such a valuable thing. But like all good times, they have to end sometime. They had to leave to attend their afternoon classes, but promised to come visit again sometime. They said their farewells, and were gone.
A policeman came around in the afternoon to ask a few questions concerning the incident. I told him that Trent and I were friends, and that we had a fight, and he hated me. Hesitantly, I told him that he and his friends had been beating me up on several occasions. He asked the reason why, and I lied by telling him that I did not know. He looked at me strangely, and I had to cast my eyes to somehwere else in the room to avoid eye contact. It was none of his business, and I didn't want to tell him. It was his problem. He then told me that Trent had not been found since, but that they were searching. It would only be a matter of time before somebody found him. He assured me not to worry, that it was very doubtful that he'd come looking for me. The police would find him first. He thanked me for my co-operation and if there was anything I wanted to add, I should call his number which was given to me on a card. I thanked him too, and he left.
In the evening, Jessie and his mum came to visit me. "I just wanted to see if everything was alright..." she said. "I'm fine Mrs. Mathews...I'm getting better." She went on about schoolyard violence, and how all students should be checked for guns and weapons before they're allowed in. I nodded my head in agreement, although her proposal was acceptable, it sounded like a prison. Jessie made funny faces from behind his mother, about her going on and on, and it took all my might to stop myself from laughing. In the end, I gave in and let out a little chuckle. Mrs. Mathews looked behind her and saw Jessie standing there as sweet as an angel looking at nothign in particular. She smiled and rolled her eyes at Jessie, and said, "I'll let you two boys talk." She left the room to wait outside, and Jessie shut the door behind her. He ran over to my bed and kissed me on the lips.
"Mmmm...tasty!" he said mischieviously. "So you getting better?"
"Yep...the doc said it never ceases to amaze him how fast children heal," I informed him.
"Or maybe you're a freak! A mutant!" he said, pretending to back away in fear.
"Shut up! This isn't X-Men!" I laughed at him.
"Say...you don't have any claws coming out of your hands do ya?" he joked.
"You tell me...the nurse called my dad. He said he was at work, too busy to come get me. Or visit me," I told him.
Jessie sat on the bed and hugged me. "I'm sorry Mikey...look, we'll figure out something. Promise." Jessie jumped, almsot fell off the bed as his mother came in through the door. Luckily she didn't suspect anything. "Jessie...we gotta go now. Visiting hours are almost over."
"Awww!" Jessie pouted. "Oh mum...can Mikey come home with us? You see, his dad's working and won't be able to take care of him. So maybe..."
"Mikey?" she wondered why Jessie called me that, "...oh, sure. That'd be ok...I'll just ask the nurse."
"You see...told you we'd figure something out!"
"Thanks dude...I appreciate it," I smiled.
The doctor checked my wound again and made sure that I was ready to leave. It might've been a bit too soon thought the doctor, but my wound showed that I had recovered quite a deal. I told him that the hospital had a positive effect on me, and he took it as an acceptable theory. It hurt a bit to put weight on it, that is, standing up. But other than that, I was ok. I was given pain-killers for the next week or so, and if there were any problems I should just go back to the hospital whenever I needed. I thanked him, and Jessie helped me walk to the car. That night, I got to sleep on Jessie's bed while he was supposed to sleep on the floor. But after a while, he snuggled in with me and held me softly.
I felt well enough to go school a couple days later, and boy! Was there a big transition! I was instantly recognised as a hero. Although I don't know how it happened, but the rumours around this place had gotten WAY out of hand. From what the majority of the school body heard, I had taken on 7 guys and was winning. That was when one of them had to take out a knife, cus none of them could take me on. And since Trent had gone, none of his thugs hung around anymore. They had scattered, afraid that I'd tell the cops or something. I was an instant hero, and the real story was far from what the rumour was. Instant popularity too! Suddenly, there were heaps of invitations to parties, girls noticed me more, and it was so much fun!
I never realised how the popularity thing worked, but you didn't have to get stabbed for it did you? Hope not! I was welcomed back with smiles and hand shakes. One girl even pinched my ass while in a crowd...although I thought it was a girl. During class, nothing had changed. Jessie still sat with me, and we would dreamily stare at each other until class was over. The morning flew by, with my angel beside me. I'd watch him constantly, seeing him supporting his head with his arm trying to look interested in what was being taught. The sun seemed to radiate around him, giving him this heavenly glow. Ooh, he's looking back at me! Oh, that smile...I sigh aloud, and the teacher looks in my direction thinking I'm bored. I quickly turn my attention back to her teaching. The teacher ignores the interruption, and Jessie giggles silently at me. And his contagious giggling starts me up too. Oh, what bliss. It'd be strange associating school (Hell) with Heaven.
Lunch time finally rolled around, marking the day almost to an end. I reckon it's pointless to have any sort of classes after lunch. No one works, all everyone can think about is going home to their video games, girl/boy friends...anything else but school. The teachers know that no one concentrates in the later hours, so why do they bother? The teachers are getting hell...and especially the students. Psh! The system...what would they know!?
Looking for some quiet time, Jessie and I decided to take a walk around the school grounds just so we could have a chat. We asked the others to join us, but they knew we wanted some time alone. We strolled around the courtyard, just talking about this and that. I'd get this urge, where I just HAD to hold his hand, but then I remembered where we were. It's unfair that society makes up these rules where it's unacceptable for a boy to be with a boy. A boy or girl can openly show the affection for the opposite sex in public, while the other have to hide. Who was society to decide who was normal, and who was not? How dare they even try. Sometimes it angered me so much, but right now, it was alright.
"So what do you say?" Jessie asked.
"Dude! C'mon!" he joked, punching my arm playfully.
"Sorry...I was phasing out big time!"
"Oh yeah? What were you thinking about?" he asked, challenging me.
"You," I replied matter-of-factly with a huge grin on my face.
"Ok, I'll let you off this time. So I was thinking we could catch a movie tonight. I hear good things about 'Planet of the Apes'. Wanna see it?"
"You mean...like a date?" I asked.
"Yeah...a date," he replied avoiding eye contact, "if you want to that is..."
"I'd LOVE to! I'll pay for popcorn and drinks...it's only fair."
"Ok, it's a date!" he let out, relieved.
"Oh wow! This'll be our first date! It's going to be sooo kewl!" I said excitedly.
"Does a movie sound romantic to you?" he asked, thinking hard.
"Awww...anything with you is romantic," I assured him. He smiled back at me, and it made me melt. Oh, this has to be for real. I've never felt this way about anyone before. It was magical, almost like a fairytale.
"Don't look at me like that!" he said quickly.
"Like you're going drool and drown the earth or something. We'll have plenty of time for that tonight," he said playfully. I couldn't stop grinning.
When I got home, I quickly got out of my clothes and had a shower. I stopped and looked in the mirror at my scar on the left side of my stomach. It was about an inch and a half long, purply fleshy colour. I wonder if it will be prominant when I'm older. I know I'll always have a scar, but will it really be visible when I get older? I shook it off, and had my shower washing myself carefully around my mid-section. I dried myself and got some clothes out, nice ones too. I went with blue jeans, and a black short-sleeved button up shirt. I fixed my hair nice, making sure I'd make an impression with Jessie. Oh God, how I loved him! I wanted everything to be perfect. I looked at the time and it was 6pm! How long did I spend in the bathroom?! This is what women must go through when they're getting ready for their date! Hehehe. The phone rang, and I ran to pick it up.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hey there sexy! Are we ready?" he said huskily.
"Ready when you are!" I said excitedly. "I'll come over right now ok?"
"I'll be waiting! Don't keep me waiting too long though..."
I hung up the phone, put on my shoes and grabbed a jacket. I expected to go and surprise Jessie by showing him how fast I could get there. I was so excited, as soon as I opened the door I bumped into my dad, which sent me to the floor dazed. He on the other hand was still standing there, like a brick wall, not budging. I looked up at him, and saw anger in his eyes. What did I do now?
"What the hell is this?" he asked, egging me for an answer. "Get up!" I quickly scrambled to my feet, and stared at the floor. "What the hell happened?!"
"What do you m---?"
"I've got people fromt he hospital calling me up! I've got fucking cops ringing me about you getting into a fight?!" he shouted. He walked in, and slammed the door shut. I started to back away, afraid of what was going to happen. 'No, no, no! I've got a date with Jessie' I kept thinking to myself. I had to find a way out of this! And quick!
"It was like that..." I started to explain, when his hand caught my face with a slap. It sent me fumbling back, and my hand nursed my face.
"You show some respect to me you little shit! I was talking to you...I didn't ask you to say antyhing!" he said angrily. I had nothing to say now. I couldn't say anything. "So you like to fight huh?" he asked, pushing me hard against the chest. "Well, c'mon! Let's see you fight!"
I shook my head, no. My heart was beating so fast, I could feel it pump against my chest. My face was flustered, and it stung from the first slap. Please, just leave me alone. Not tonight. Tonight's too special. "Dad! I didn't fight!" I shouted, and it earned me a slap to side of the head which sent me to the aid of a table in the hall, knocking a lamp down. I heard it shatter on the floor behind me, and I quickly stepped behind in case I fell onto the broken glass. "You don't speak until I tell you to, boy!" he shouted at me again.
He walked up to me quickly, and grabbed me by my shirt and hauled me over to the living room where he threw me against the back of the couch. I yelled in pain, to which he yelled, "Shut up! Shut up you little faggot!" and he kicked me square in the stomach. I yelled again, louder than before, clutching my stomach and my knife wound. I started to cry, tears were streaming down my face as the pain washed over me like a new sensation to my fragile body. My small frame was shaking with exhaustion, and I thought I would pass out from the extreme anguish I was in. "Let's see you fight now! You little shit...you couldn't fight even if you wanted to. Look at you...you're a piece of shit is what you are. Good for nothing!"
Leaning up against the back of the couch, I whispered softly, pleading to my father to how mercy, "Please...dad, I wasn't fighting..." "What's that? Did you say somethign!? Cus I didn't HEAR you!" He kicked my stomach quickly, causing me to yell aloud again. I clutched my stomach, holding on for dear life and heard my father leave again. I started to cry, and cry. Tears streamed down my face and onto the carpet. I was too paralysed with fear and pain to move. I heard the phone ring, but I couldn't move. I kept crying. I lay there for what seemed to be an eternity, waiting for someone to come and take me away from this place. Somewhere where I could be safe, and where no one could hurt me. My breathing were in short gasps, and it hurt everytime.
As I was about to doze off, I heard someone knocking on the door. "Michael?" I heard Jessie's muffled voice from outside. I couldn't even be bothered to move to get up. I couldn't. I heard him call again, and all I could do was sob softly. Jessie moved to the window, and saw me laying there on the floor, and opened the door and ran to me quickly.
"Oh SHIT! FUCK! FUCK! Ok Mikey, don't move," he said in a frightened tone.
All I could do was stare at the floor in front of my face...I didn't even have the energy to acknowledge Jessie. He started to take my hands away from my stomach, and I noticed him for the first time. "We still going out?" I asked, half jokingly.
"Sure baby, we'll go out. Let me take a look..." and I allowed him to pry my arms away from my stomach. He unbuttoned my shirt, and said, "Oh no..."
"What is it?" I whispered.
"I'm going to clean this up ok?" And he went off, and returned with a basin of warm water from the laundry and a towel. He then proceeded to wet the towel and wipe my stomach. I didn't look...I didn't want to. "It's ok...just a bit of your cut was opened. The bleeding's stopped...nothing major. You got a medical kit?"
"In the bathroom...behind the mirror," he ran off as quickly as he came back. He sat me up, and wrapped up my mid-section.
"Who did this?" he asked a little angrily.
"Dad..." I said, staring off into space.
"Jesus Christ. Doesn't he know you've got this to deal with?" he said referring to my wound.
"He thought I was fighting...he didn't know I was getting beat up."
"Why the hell are you defending him? Look what he did!" he said, getting a littl hysterical.
"He didn't know...that's all."
"Well it doesn't make it alright to beat you up...you hear me?"
"...called me a piece of shit...good for nothing..."
"Hey, hey! Look at me...Look at me. You are not a piece of shit. You...are the most beautiful thing God has ever put on this earth. And don't you let your father, or anyone else let you think otherwise. You are gifted...God made you beautiful inside and out. And ever since you came into my life, you made me live. You're the reason I get up in the morning, and I go to sleep thinking about you always. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you...I love you so much. I know what you meant the other day...how the words don't make up for the feeling. But I'll say them to you over and over, until you believe it. I LOVE YOU!" he said tearing up. "I can't stand to see anyone hurt you...but I don't know what to do." We both sat there in silence for a moment.
"Hold me!" and I hugged him tightly and we both cried freely. "I LOVE YOU TOO!" I told Jessie, meaning every word of it.
Jessie stood up, and offered me his hand. I took it, and got up. Jessie must've made me forget about the pain. "Are we going out or what?!"
I held his hand, and we did.
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