Date: Wed, 08 Oct 2003 18:02:58 -0400 From: Noren Carmathen Subject: Lost High School Lover **************************************************************************** I should start off by saying that the events I am about to relate actually happened to me during the summer of 2000. I'm trying to deal with all of it. I hope this will help me do that. The names here have been changed. The usual disclaimers all apply. **************************************************************************** I had just turned 16 the previous November. My parents bought me a decent car to get around in. My best friend was still 15, even though we were in the same grade in school...he's been double promoted in grade school. His name was Matt, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. We'd been friends since I'd changed schools in the seventh grade. Matt was everything I never was. We were both pretty smart (I always regarded him as being much more intelligent that I), he was charming, good looking, and athletic. At 15 he stood an even 6 foot tall, weighed about 180 pounds (of lithe, rippling muscle), dark black hair, and he had these incredible eyes so dark blue that in certain light they looked violet. A full year older than him, and I was 2 inches shorter, with sandy-brown hair that was in a constant state of dissarray, green eyes, 160 lbs, maybe...I was wiry. Where Matt was charming, I was always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. I had this embittered sarcasm, a scathing way of protecting myself from the jeerz and ridicule of my peers; it was a defense mechanism I had developed over the years. But, Matt helped me cut through that. He accepted me, we bonded. He was my best friend in all the world. Probably the only real friend I'd ever had up until that point. We had another mutual friend, Jacob, and the three of us (or any combination of two of us) were always together. So, the summer of my sixteenth year...Matt's parents owned a house on a lake near my hometown. It was about thirty minutes away, and seculded enough that we could do what we wanted out there. We usually went out there and drank, or smoked pot, or both. We'd talk about all sorts of things. Now, I have to admit that before this particular event, I had noticed that I felt some latent attraction to Matt. But, we were there at the lake house this Saturday afternoon waiting on Jacob to arrive, smoking up, and Matt just out and says: "My god man, when are you just going to say it?" I was taken aback, "What the hell are you talking about man?" "You want me man, I know it." He leaned over to me, his face almost touching mine. "And, I want you too." He kissed me. It was like an electric current ran through me, from my scalp to my toes. And, it set off all these feelings for him that I realized I'd been keeping in for so long. I kissed him back, passionately, licking his lips, our tongues interplaying and exploring one another's mouths. We stood up, still lip-locked, and he wrapped his arms around me, making his way toward his bedroom. He had a double bed...one of those antique, four-poster kind, complete with the hanging curtains. I remember that, because, in our hurry, we knocked a set of them down. But we didn't care. We ripped each other's clothes off like wild animals. Clawing, scratching, tearing off buttons. Matt started licking my now exposed nipples. I was lying on the bed, in ecstacy. I grabbed him, rolled him onto his back, and started kissing him again, on the lip, then on the neck. Then I sucked his nipples, then slowly licked my way down his chest, stopping momentarily to tongue his navel. I undid his pants, and he wiggled to help me get his pants and boxers off. And then I saw his 8 inch, uncut dick. I was enthralled. I sniffed his crotch, taking in that intoxicating man-scent. I licked his balls, and sucked on each one lightly. "Suck me, please, god, suck me!" Matt was yelling. So I took him into my mouth, letting his fleshy foreskin slide around as I tongued all the way around it. I tried to take it all down my throat...but being inexperienced, I indeed up just gagging. I backed off a bit, and then just continued playing around with my tongue. "Stop...your turn" he said. But I didn't want to stop, so I just swung myself up beside him and we started 69ing. OH GOD! what an incredible feeling. I wanted it to go on forever...and then, I caught sight of his asshole. I sniffed it, then reach around to lick it. I started rimming him, and he let off of my dick, and started moaning so loud I thought the roof would cave in. I loved it. I was tasting his ass. It was delicious. In between his moan, he started yelling, "Fuck me, Alex, I want you to FUCK ME!" I knew he kept some condoms and some lube in the nighttable next to his bed, so I grabbed one, put it on, and then got the lube. I rubbed some of it on his hole, sticking in a finger. As I worked it around, we kissed madly. Then, I got in two. "NOW, Alex, NOW!" So, with him laying on the edge of the bed, and me standing up beside it, I picked his legs up and threw them over my shoulders. I pushed at the entrance to his ass with my 7 inch dick, and he yelled in pain. I tried to pull out but he grabbed my arms and said "No, just wait a minute." So I stood there like that, with my dickhead barely inside him, and he took deep, deep breaths. Then, I felt him relax. I entered him slowly, so as not to hurt him. After a few minutes I was in, all the way. We sat there like that for a while as well. And then, he gave me the go-ahead, and I started fucking. Slow at first, and then, as the sensations got away with me, faster and faster. "HARDER, FUCK ME HARDER!" Matt was yelling at me. I couldn's last long, and after about 5 minutes of hard, fast paced fucking, I came. I pulled out, and tossed the used condom in his trash can. He pulled me close to him, kissed me again. "I love you, you know. I always have," he said. "I know, Matt, I love you too. I want you to fuck me too." So, repeating the process, he finally entered me. And when he did, it hurt like SEVEN BURNING HELLS. I was screaming in pain, it hurt so bad. His dick was huge. But, as I got used to it, and he got to fucking me harder, his dick started hitting my prostate. I never felt anything so great in all my life. I was in mania, in ecstacy. I started bucking my hips back at him, spreading my legs wider to let him in deeper. I was in heaven. When he finally came, he busted the condom, and I felt his hot cum fill my bowels. We cleaned up and went out for a ride on the boat; Jacob, typically, still hadn't shown up. While clipping up the lake toward the damn at 70mph in his dad's racing boat, we were talking about what we were going to make of all of this. I am a very religious person, was then, still am. Matt wasn't, so the only issues he was dealing with as part of his sexuality were that he was an only child, and his father would be disappointed. I had brothers, so that wasn't a problem for me. I was more worried about being damned. I told him that, even though I loved him, I thought it was wrong. He yelled at me, angrily, and told me something I've never forgotten, "Love is never a sin, only the lack of love is." We pulled in back at his parent's pier, and Jacob was there with some movie that we all wanted to watch. We rushed inside, made some whiskey sours, and watched it. We didn't tell Jacob what we had done with each other that afternoon. So, skip forward two weeks. I was still torn over what to do. I knew I loved him, but I couldn't shake my religious problems. But, eventually, I decided that a lifetime of happiness with Matt was worth giving up the promise of an eternity in Heaven. All I wanted was him, his body, and his cock up my ass whenever I wanted it. I left for his house to tell him. And when I arrived, the police where there. I was freaked out, but I knew there had been burglaries going on in the area. That's what I automatically assumed happened. I didn't see his mom's car in the driveway. I had this gut-wrenching fear. One of the officers was a friend of my parents, and he saw me standing there in the front yard, and walked over to me. "Alex, I'm so sorry," he said. "Mr. DeLana, what's going on." "There's been an accident," he put his hand on my shoulder, "your friend Matt and his mom...well, son...they were killed in a traffic accident." Oh God! This wasn't happening, this wasn't real. This couldn't be happening. I ran inside to find Mr. Edwards, Matt's father, for him to tell me this wasn't true. He was there, trying to fill out paperwork and crying hysterically. I had never seen him cry. He looked up and saw me, and nodded in my direction. I went over at sat next to him, and he hugged me. We were both crying by then, there was no need to talk. We knew. A half-hour passed, or thereabouts, and he had to go down to the county morgue for the unhappy task of identifying the bodies. Mr. DeLana had apparently already called my parents, because they showed up just as Mr. Edwards was leaving. Mom was crying. Jacob showed up. Everyone was in tears. At the funeral, I sat next to Mr. Edwards, and Jacob sat beside me. Had he known just what his son and I had felt for one another, he probably wouldn't have wanted me there at all. As the funeral was over, I walked by the caskett. I took off the ring I always wore...a silver ring, a celtic cross, shaped by knotwork. I slipped it on Matt's finger, and said a prayer. As I left the chapel, making my way to my car, Jacob stopped me, and put his arm around me. "My God, Alex. I'm so sorry. I know how much you loved each other." BAM! Shock! Jacob Knew! "Jake...I..." "It's ok, Alex. It's ok." I cried on his shoulder there in the parking lot for a solid twenty minutes. Then, he said, "I've loved the both of you forever, you know." I looked up into his eyes, and saw it was true. He kissed me, and we got in my car and drove to the lake. We took 15 bottles of Matt's favorite liquor, Wild Turkey, and a picture of him I had, and poured the bottles out onto some hay in the floor of the boat. We laid the picture on top. In true viking style, Jacob pushed the boat off, and I took my bow, and wrapped an oil cloth around the arrow. (Archery was the only sport I was ever good at.) I shot the boat, it went up in flames. We sat there on the pier watching it burn, smoking a joint. That's when I knew he was gone, forever. ______________________________________________________ Well, that's off my chest. I felt so bad about what later happened between me and Jacob, but Matt wouldn't have wanted me to be alone forever. "Love is not a sin, only the lack of it is." If you liked this, email me at carmathen707@hotmail.com.